Good evening and welcome, I'm Ivan Šarić, and you're not.
Welcome to Director of the Universe, a show that brought together five people from the public eye,
and for the last few months I have been torturing them for my and your entertainment.
Let’s meet the people who are fighting for the amazing prize, my golden head.
Yes, yes, this is really a prize and someone will...
So let's meet them!
Firstly, the person who obviously dresses in the children's department, Lidija Bačić.
One of the twelve people that are in his head, Enio Meštrović is with us.
Our most famous and best actress, but you only know her from Bibin svijet, [sitcom where she plays the titular character, her breakout role]
Ana Begić Tahiri!
This show has international proportions because he is here from the far, far...
Herzegovina.
Igor Drljo!
And with us an already well known Split stand-up comedian,
the talented Ante ...simović. [it's a running gag at this point that he never says Ante's last name (Travizi) right]
And with us, every time to make sure this show runs smoothly,
is my personal assistant, Luka. Please, give him just one clap.
Terrific, terrific, terrific. - Luka. Let's go, Luka.
The first task.
Basically, they had to bring items to be won by the winner of this episode.
And for today, you asked them to bring in -
oh greatest man in the world, and in this theatre,
and that's you, after that everyone else, and only then me -
the best item...
And this is my personal favourite
of the items they were supposed to bring. And that's the best item...
that is sheep-themed.
A sheep themed item. - Sheep as in "baa".
Why didn't I bring Luka?
No, no, not donkey- themed, sheep-themed.
He can bleat too.
Igor, you are familiar with sheep.
No, I'm from rocky terrain, I'm not Bosnian.
We don't have sheep, all our sheep are on...
On the spit. - This can be-
This can be understood in many ways, how you got into that sheep. - Let them interpret it, interpret it how you want to.
Let's start, this is a family show. - Family show with sheep.
We're not talking about your family.
Igor, please start.
I'll start.
I really like to sleep,
so that...
No way!
Yes, you will not believe what I brought you. - I would have said you liked running more.
Well I run in order to sleep.
I run a lap around the building and then sleep for three days.
So I brought a merino wool pillow.
What is merino wool? What is merino?
Merino is a type of sheep that has this plushiness.
That’s all I know about it. I know it’s soft and nice to sleep on.
Great, thank you very much. Ante. What did you bring?
Well, I brought something a little different,
namely, I am very interested in a character that we here call "Janko Strižić" [Shaun the Sheep]
Ok.
What exactly did you bring from him?
This beautiful picture.
He only brings pictures!
I will not tolerate that anymore. - Yeah, no.
Now it's all like, a picture of Lidija Bačić,
a picture of Janko Strižić,
meanwhile I'm ripping half the floor out of my house,
and he takes, he takes pictures from Google, now it's a little...
I agree, yeah, no, I agree.
Now you will get yours. - Tell me, Ana, what you brought.
I...
grew up in this second part that you said, that there are sheep in Bosnia, I grew up there
and I kept sheep. Yes, I did, I did, yes.
That's the story: "I started from nothing, look at me now". Is that it?
Look at me now on Direktor Svemira! Where I haven't won once!
Basically, I remember that
those sheep, in order for you to know which your flock is, they got sprayed a little,
you know like, "the purple ones are Matthew's"...
Really?
Basically, I have one fur coat that reminds me
of that time, here it is.
Did you watch sheep in this?
Pink sheep wool coat.
Coat, wow.
Ante, a coat! Not a picture of a coat. - I took the fur coat out of my house
for you to bring Janko Strižić. - First off, I had to travel here, sorry,
you're here in the neighbourhood, practically.
Lidija?
When I saw his pillow, I immediately thought that was an ideal fit
with the thing I brought because, namely, I like to eat a lot.
And I brought ...
I brought sheep cheese,
ideally it goes with a little olive oil, a little pepper,
I just put my head on his pillow and I enjoy it.
This was the worst link between cheese and a pillow ​​ever.
How you managed to connect a pillow and cheese, this is unbelievable.
I thought we had a connection,
Lile and I, but then... - I also thought it would be some bedding or something.
It's to make me more comfortable.
You should also put that coat on.
Enio. You're left. What did you bring?
Something totally logical, yet illogical.
These are mine, yes.
Because I walk around a lot
in nature to clear my head,
to get rid of these ten-eleven voices that haunt me and always whisper to me...
And then I met some sheep and one of them in the flock was wearing these glasses.
I mean, I can't believe a sheep wears glasses at all. How does she put them on to begin with?
And what's worse, they're fake Ray-Bans, so even sheep know what's cheaper.
Now you could use Ante to have a picture of a sheep with glasses so that we can trust you.
I could have taken a picture, but you would say it's photoshopped.
Trust me, trust me.
"Trust me!"
It's a miracle of a sheep.
I will kill myself.
Let's get to the points.
Ante, I would give you -10, but I can only do one.
Learn, learn from your mistakes.
Enio, two.
I love you!
To him it’s great that he got two.
For how much the guy lied, when he got two he was like, "it’s good".
Lidija, three.
Okay, I'm satisfied, golden middle.
Next time only without food, only without food.
Igor, four.
Ana, five.
Is it fair? Are you happy now?
We'll see, we'll see.
My dear ones, at the very beginning, the order is like this.
Ana with five points,
Drljo four,
Lidija three,
Enio two,
Ante one. - But people, you are witnessing climate
disorders, you don't know what is happening in nature.
We are witnessing a disorder, for sure.
It all went to hell!
And they produce plush wool! They make plush wool.
Very cool sheep, I would love to meet that sheep.
Tell us what's next.
Today we will start with a group task.
And let's look at that task.
I don't know how this Director of the Universe goes down these stairs.
Hi, girls. - Hi, Luka.
Good afternoon, good people, and Luka.
Greetings, hello. - Hello.
You already hit something. Sometimes it's good to be short.
Guys, this is yours.
Here it is Enio, here you go.
Ante, you take it.
"Write and perform a song about this woman."
"The best song wins."
"You have five minutes to talk to the woman."
"And then thirty minutes to write the song."
"Your time starts now."
What's your name? - Sonja.
It's good, we did it.
Are you in love?
Yes I am.
Are you married?
I'm not.
Do you have a boyfriend?
Not currently.
Wait, what do you do, just so we have...
Translator and professor.
Sonja, what hair color do you have?
I am a natural brunette.
Do you like having two hair colors?
I adore it.
Have you had any heartbreak in your life?
Well, not really.
Do you have any particular genre of music you like?
Rock'n'roll and blues.
How do you like to dress when you go out on the town?
With style.
What do you like to drink?
Red wine.
She even looks like she likes to drink red wine.
Romance?
I love romance, but romance with style.
What lens prescription do you have?
Uh, I'm very blind, -4 -4.
Favourite movie?
Pulp Fiction. - Pulp Fiction! Series?
The Sopranos. - The Sopranos! You're so romantic.
We will now describe her.
Red... [?]
Musician, favourite musician?
Jon Bon Jovi!
She helped them!
So you had to write, right, they had to write ...
That's right, they had to leave,
retreat to the room and, within half an hour, they had to write some kind of song
based on this information and the facts they learned about Sonja.
What were you in charge of, Igor?
I have been writing songs since I was thirteen.
Can we hear?
Mmm... you can't.
Okay, with that we can immediately move on to the task. Let's see the guys first.
Guys first, yes? Are you guys ready?
Let's see, give us that hit.
Dear Sonja,
I present to you now,
the folk group
"Two and a half amigos."
Enjoy.
Did you raise my microphone?
♫ Your blind eyes ♫
♫ will soon forget ♫
♫ everything we went through when we were young ♫
♫ Look at what we've come to ♫
♫ Why do you hide your secrets? ♫
♫ Do you forget when you drink? ♫
♫ Look at yourself, remember me ♫
♫ because my time flies, flies ♫
♫ Sonja, Sonja, Sonja! ♫
♫ Harness me like a horse ♫
♫ Don't let me get off of you ♫
♫ I am in love with myself ♫
♫ Don't let me out of your room ♫
♫ Sonja, Sonja, Sonja! ♫
♫ Harness me like a horse ♫
♫ Don't let me get off of you ♫
♫ I am in love with myself ♫
♫ Don't let me out of you ♫
Thank you Sonja, thank you audience.
Thank you, you were great, thank you.
No encore? No encore?
No encore.
I was expecting bras and that, but nothing.
I'm sorry.
That was like, "I'll write you a song. First of all, you're blind."
No, "your eyes are blind."
"Your blind eyes" - Ah, "your blind eyes".
"will forget about me soon."
This sounds good.
I'm telling you, Tomislav Bralić will steal this. [renowned singer of klapa music, the style in which they sang]
I sang this all day.
Mr. Bralić, if you are watching us, feel free to take this.
I would really love to see the Split Festival and the three of them come out.
And Sonja.
The blind one.
Two and a half amigos.
Now the announcement is coming, do you want to announce?
It's a very important thing, you want to announce?
Ok. And now the most important thing in this world, and that is advertising.
We survived the commercials, thank you so much for being with us, we continue.
Guys, this was phenomenal.
If you think that was phenomenal,
please look at these two beautiful ladies. - He's skewing your judgment!
And now hold onto your pants.
Dear Sonja,
now I present to you a performance of
Ljiljana and Beganićka.
Jesus, what? What did you come up with?
Sonja, this is just for you.
For you, Sonja.
Yo, Lile.
Lile!
♫ A purple beam falls ♫
♫ onto your lock of hair, giving you blues ♫
♫ Rhythm of Pulp Fiction ♫
♫ Oh Sonja, Sonja, Sonja! ♫
♫ You are pure romance ♫
♫ when you're going through my mind ♫
♫ I'm beginning to panic ♫
♫ Oh Sonja, Sonja, Sonja! ♫
♫ I had never been this happy ♫
♫ until I met her ♫
♫ Sonja, Sonja, Sonja ♫
♫ that translator ♫
♫ I had never been this happy ♫
♫ until I met her ♫
♫ Sonja, Sonja, Sonja ♫
♫ that translator ♫
♫ Yo, Sonja! ♫
♫ Ah, Sonja! ♫
♫ Oh, Sonja! ♫
♫ It goes like... ♫
♫ Rock, disco, blues, The Sopranos, Sex and the City, Friends, Bibin svijet, all that turns you on ♫
♫ You're alright Sonja, let me be your baby ♫
♫ Baby... ♫
♫ Pelin, red wine, vodka♫ [Pelin = wine fermented with wormwood]
♫ Sonja you're... ♫
♫ I look at the way you move and I hope you don't break ♫
♫ Oh Sonja, oh Sonja! ♫
♫ I had never been this happy ♫
♫ until I met her ♫
♫ Sonja, Sonja, Sonja ♫
♫ that translator ♫
♫ Sonja, Sonja, Sonja ♫
♫ that translator ♫
Just for you, Sonja.
Lile and Bega.
It's already in my head. It already is.
It's stuck in my head...
High production level. - ♫ Sonja, Sonja, Sonjaaa, that translator ♫
If our song is taken by Tomislav Bralić,
I would love for your song to be taken by Connect [Croatian hip-hop group] so they finally go under.
You see, these are basic instincts.
This is jealousy, you know.
It depends on the Director whether we will go out for an encore tonight
in the show and in front of the audience. - ♫ I had never been this happy ♫
♫ until I met her ♫
♫ Sonja, Sonja, Sonja, that translator ♫
♫ I had never been this happy ♫
♫ until I met her ♫
♫ Sonja, Sonja, Sonja ♫
♫ that translator ♫
No, we only go out for points.
But the chorus was similar to ours actually.
This is perhaps the most difficult decision I have ever made, because they were really phenomenal.
Can I ask a question please?
Absolutely.
How did it happen
that this wonderful duo
had the arrangement done,
we sang "dry", they had music, an arrangement.
Because Luka was drooling around them.
How it happened- Everyone is interested in how it happened, so...
So, the task was the way it was, we could choose what we wanted.
Do we want to play? Do we want a capella?
Do we want to invite someone to play for us?
Do we want a beat?
I went with a beat.
This is really like choosing between two children...
Five points to one team, five points to the other team.
[singing "Moja posljednja i prva ljubavi", a song by Croatian artist Tereza Kesovija]
This was just for the audience.
Lile saved us too.
The scoreboard... do we want to take a look?
Oh god please, yes. The scoreboard.
I'm still last.
Ten points Bega,
nine Drljo, Lidija eight,
seven Enio, six Ante!
We are embarking on a new task, so let's see.
That's right, next task please. We were looking for painting techniques,
but special painting techniques, so let's see what they are.
We'll see which one exactly.
Yes, there was a lot of drawing.
Ah, this was cool.
Hi. - Hi.
Oh my.
I have not seen so much toilet paper since the beginning of the pandemic.
♫ Asswiper, asswiper, that's the one, it gives your ass a shine, ♫
♫ use three hundred sheets, your ass shines again ♫
"Make a portrait of a famous person using toilet paper."
"There's a camera above you."
There's a camera above me?
"You will use the black mat under your feet as a canvas."
"You have 20 minutes."
"Your time starts now."
"Now!"
Do you normally use toilet paper?
You mean for drawing?
I don't use it for drawing.
Do you like to poop a lot?
I'm licking toilet paper. That's where my life is at.
At least it's not used.
But I think this...
But I am satisfied, I am even satisfied.
From which side is it viewed?
From here, where you and I are.
From there? - Yes.
That's it? - Yes.
"Do you like to poop?"
God, Luka.
"Do you use toilet paper often?"
Let's go, yes.
And pray to god they don't put this in the show.
Should we start with...
We could go to the drawings.
But before... But before... you will repeat what they had to do.
So they had to explore some new drawing techniques using toilet paper.
So a normal task in your head that you said "I want them to do it".
Yes, I wrote that, and they need to draw a famous person.
That's right, yes. Draw a famous person.
Want to see Ante first?
Can it be someone else?
God.
Hang on. Ante, don't say, so we'll try to guess.
It can be figured out if you make an effort.
This is a famous person drawn in toilet paper, this is...
Audience, do you have an idea?
Tesla? Mišo Kovač? Not Mišo Kovač.
Oliver? Where do you see Oliver here? [possibly Oliver Dragojević, the late Croatian recording artist]
What, like "yes, it's those eyebrows", what?
He made it universal, so they can choose.
Is this Johnny Depp?
No.
What is this?
What they said over there.
What? - Mišo Kovač.
This is Mišo Kovač?? - Mišo Kovač, it is.
He could have at least drawn a microphone.
Wait a minute, wait a minute, no, no...
Bravo, audience!
So no. Stop. - Wait.
Wait.
How did you figure out that was Mišo Kovač, tell me.
"Moustache and that"?
That's the upper and lower lip.
I went for some details from a famous person...
Oh, you went for the details, did you? You can tell, yes.
You can see, the effort...
So the moustache was the only resource I had, and the wavy hair.
And what is that down there, a microphone?
No, no, that's my signature, like "T". So you know who made this.
Why would you be "T"?
He has eyes like Sonja I see. Blind.
He has a strong prescription, absolutely.
Okay, let's go to the next picture.
The next picture is from Lile.
The rolls on the right may be unnecessary,
but ok, they fill out the frame. Fuller picture, you know.
You went for the picture that was next to you, this is me, the Director of the Universe.
I painted you. - OK, good.
And these rolls are, you like to poop a lot.
And look at the details.
And the details... I don't know what's wrong with my nose and mouth. They're connected and...
And it had to be a famous person.
That's why no one will ever draw you, Igor.
And look at his eyebrow, like...
We tried that already in the previous show. - That's right, it's the Director of the Universe, yes.
Director of the Universe, yes.
Look, you immediately know from the eyebrows that it's him. - Let's move on.
Next is Enio.
You won't get away with it this time Enio, you won't get away with it.
Well one point, alright bro. Wait, is Mišo Kovač more famous than the smiley face?
It won't pass, sorry. - Or the Director of the Universe?
You use this a million times a day, man.
But he is not a person.
Excuse me?
Not a famous person. - Don't make me tell him that.
Let's move on. - I'm simply reading the task.
Bega.
Okay, I have an idea, but I won't say.
Bob Marley.
No.
Einstein? - Jimi Hendrix. - The Clash, from The Clash.
Bob Ross.
Now I’m regretting it, because now I see something totally different
from what I said it was. - What did you say? - Freddie Mercury!
That it was me.
One point! One point! One point!
I didn't want to offend anyone.
I see similarities. - The mouth,
full lips, let's go full lips.
A little wider nose, "house" eyebrows, they go up a bit,
and then it's like, a little bit of hair.
Just so... there's a lot, more like it's tied up.
Don't look at me like that now.
Let's go to the last picture.
So Igor is next.
Wait, you wrote something. - Five points, five points.
Mmmm... MJummy.
If you're wondering what Igor meant here,
let's please watch the video.
I think I'm done.
What does that mean?
Michael Jackson during surgery.
Thank you, Igor.
No, thank you.
And I have to go down the stairs...
Dear god.
Why?
Why not?
Enio, one point.
Ante, two points. - Come on.
Purely because I have to, you were good.
Bega, three points.
Because she painted herself?
That's right. - Such an ego.
Lidija, four points because she painted me. - A person, I painted a person.
Ok, ok.
And Igor definitely five points.
Definitely, absolutely.
The scoreboard. - Please look.
So...
Igor takes the lead with 14 points.
Bega, 13. Lidija, 12.
Enio, 8.
and... Ante, "eightsch".
In every episode there is always that moment when everyone has to go to the toilet.
As do you, as do we. See you after the commercials.
Here we are back. Why on earth?
We move on with the show.
After this toilet break, we go to a new task.
"Finish"
Hi, Bega.
Hi, Luka.
Buongiorno. - Buongiorno.
Is that for me?
This is for me?
No. - Oh.
What are you silent about now? Should I open it or do something else?
"Write a story in ten words"
"as you run to the finish line."
Ten words?
"You may only write while you run."
"The fastest person with the best story wins."
"Your time..."
Yeah, so it's for me after all?
"Your time starts now."
Very... interesting this will be-
Ok, that's not my job, so I don't need to do it,
but they had to... Explain it to the people once more.
They had to write ten words
and put together a story as they run to the finish line.
That's right.
They wrote the words first, so let’s see what it looked like.
Ok.
Do you know how many words you need?
How many words did it say?
Ten...?
Taxi driver
me
is [it will make more sense later]
can... cel... led
ride
Enio I'm walking. That's not running. Come on Enio.
Run! That's a skip.
Run, Ante.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,
7, 8, 9... 11.
7, 8, 9.
But I put a full stop. Can a full stop count as a word this time?
If it is a word.
Ten.
You didn't go through the finish. - Ah, ten.
Ante, the answer to your question: the full stop cannot be counted as a word.
I knew it.
What is the full stop actually?
And what is the full stop?
End of sentence.
There's an expression for that. It's...
Punctuation mark! - Punctuation mark, Jesus ...
I would like to take this opportunity to mention that, in the first episode,
Ante proudly brought a withdrawal letter from the university.
Proudly.
Proudly, yes.
Enio, have you ever run in your life?
In general?
I think the last time was five years ago,
and before that I was a professional athlete.
What did you "sport" professionally?
I played basketball professionally,
in Zadar, Pula, Varaždin and Austria...
And you ended up here.
It's very clear what kind of show this is. Failed people come here.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. - Thanks, Enio.
Thanks, thanks.
I tried to justify myself.
So much for a career.
Let's watch. Who do you have first? - I'd start with a little green caterpillar, Igor.
Thanks, little yellow mushroom.
Igor, did you succeed?
I think so.
Come on, please read.
"There was once an assistant"
"of the Director of the Universe who chased me all the time."
Three exclamation points.
Thank you, Igor.
What's wrong with the story? I have no idea.
I think it's a great story.
The moron ran after me the whole time.
I feel sexual tension between the two of you all the time.
And I'm a little jealous.
No, no, there's nothing between the two of us.
He has too many feelings for you,
Mr Director of the Universe.
Ok ,ok, ok, the story. It's missing a bit of plot. It's missing something.
That's the plot: the man followed me the whole time.
The plot is that he gave you a hint
that he has greater feelings towards you.
Now it's up to you to unravel that plot.
That's not what I would have said.
Stop helping him, you're not helping him.
Thanks, Enio. - Let's go next.
Ante.
"Luka was in a cafe and a granny showed him her 'clitch'."
What does the word 'clitch' mean?
So the standard Croatian word is... - You don't have to explain to me.
Here you go, explain.
Welcome to the intro biology class.
I started with...
Let me hear it.
I'm just curious how
you were running and at one point you said "we need a granny with a 'clitch'".
That's right. I started with "Luka was in a cafe",
and it was just "clitch, clitch, clitch" in my head.
I tried to get out of it and I couldn't,
I was close to the finish, so I said it's 'clitch' in the end.
'Clitch' won.
Ante Klitschko.
Switch over immediately to 3,2,1 Cook. [cooking show on the same network]
Ante Klitschko beat our ratings and that's about it.
Now we'll see the next one. Enio.
Please read what you wrote.
Count the words. - Ok.
"As I think about the fleeting nature of this task, I see a bright future ahead."
"Finish"
Good.
Very good.
To me, this is a victory. - Very poetic.
I like it.
I would like to thank the city planner who
made a children's playground next to the cemetery.
So it went through the administration like "Where is it?"
"Cemetery. Okay. Put a basket here and an amusement park."
The theme is "from the cradle to the grave".
Okay... let's move on. - Lile.
Let's see.
♫ Once a girl ♫
♫ loved to play football ♫
♫ until she fell. ♫
Can you count my words?
♫ Once a girl ♫
♫ loved to play football ♫
♫ until she fell. ♫
Thanks, Lydia.
Namely, as soon as I see a ball, I have to kick that ball, right.
So it was there on the field and as I was going to act like Ronaldo,
I actually became Neymar rolling on the floor, right.
I fell kind of like, I went to play a little
and I fell over myself, I rolled on that grass like this.
And then I was an inspiration to myself, you know? That's why this song, you know?
And I haven't played since.
It literally happened to her, yes. - One sad story,
I haven't kicked a ball since.
I was just waiting for him to start adding up
"once a gi-r-l"
You get carried away. You think there's more words, when in fact it is exactly ten.
It's great for me that in a task if there is food and you can sing:
"ok, give me both food and singing."
Food and song.
The rules have been followed. Is there anyone left?
Yes. - Yes, there is.
Ana Begić Tahiri.
"The taxi driver canceled my ride because he doesn't like Bibin Svijet."
Satisfied?
Yes, you?
Ok. - Okay, here you go. Here you go.
I gave this to you.
No thanks, I don't like flowers.
Well done, Lujo.
Well done, Lujo. Well done, Lujo.
Luka gets half the points.
Five to Lujo.
Now I feel bad.
You really hurt him, man.
I feel terrible, I'm sorry, Luka.
You're used to it.
I would ask for the award of the Croatian Theatre to this person again.
Absolutely. - Okay.
Let's see.
Bega, did the taxi driver really cancel on you?
Because he doesn't like Bibin Svijet? - Yes.
No, everyone loves Bibin Svijet.
One point.
He changed it!
Points?
Ante, one point.
Bega, two points.
Lidija, three points.
Igor, four points.
And Enio, five points.
Let's look at the scores.
With 18 points, Drljo leads convincingly.
Bega, 15.
Lile, 15.
Enio, 13.
and Ante, 9.
This is a dead heat again.
Okay, it's time for a refreshment.
That's right, it's time for a refreshment, because
we'll now see people... who don't eat watermelon.
But they... chomp it.
Oh my, that was my best task. - We have a watermelon?
Yes.
Come on, come on, let the people see the watermelon.
Good afternoon.
I guess this should be worn.
We're going to cook something today.
This is... a suit for painting.
"There's a watermelon in the lab."
"Eat..."
"Eat as much watermelon as you can in one minute."
Well is it possible, I actually love watermelon.
"Your time starts when you open the lab door."
Is the lab over there? F*ck.
I shouldn't have eaten anything beforehand.
For starters, let’s look at people who eat with utensils. Lidija.
♫ Oh, my watermelon, watermelon ♫
I have a song called "Lubenica",
but we in Dalmatia say "dinja", [melon]
and there’s no way anyone is going to come to a store and ask
"give me a 'lubenica'", but "give me a 'dinja'".
And melon is actually "cata" in our area.
And my favourite summer fruit is ♫ watermelon ♫
It was top notch.
Did the minute already pass?
This does not count, this should be taken out.
Okay, just let him go. I'll eat.
Please stop eating. Get out.
This watermelon was one of the best I have tried.
So, it was so top notch that I asked them
to take half of it, the exact one I ate, to take home.
When I took a bite, I couldn't eat it like this,
you know, to eat as much as possible.
I enjoyed that watermelon. It was top notch.
It was worth one point or however much I will get.
You should have said that right away, you should have said that right away.
One.
Lidija one point now. - Zero!
Give me zero.
Terrible.
Let's move on ... - "Terrible."
...you made a good announcement for yourself, Igor.
Oh my.
Look what he did to me!
Oh my, you did this to me on purpose.
You know, I'm going to tell the Director of the Universe that you're not doing your job.
♫ Pick a watermelon, which sleeps there on my heart ♫ [parody of song "Uberi Ljubicu" by Minea]
You could have said it nicely.
This is how watermelon is eaten. Like cattle. Not politely with a little knife.
When is watermelon eaten like this? Is there a situation?
After lunch, in nature.
From the fridge, cold.
Yes, and you bend over like this, so you don't spill it on yourself, and go at it.
And the watermelon was bigger than him. - And this blondie, did you see what he did to me with the knife?
He did that to me.
So there were knives all over my house. You took that one.
But he put that one on the table just for me to take it.
This is his prank. - No, no, no, you took the knife yourself.
Tell that to someone else.
I said I'd tell on you to the Director of the Universe, and now I'm telling.
But you did well.
Well, I managed.
So then what...
Please, the last person to eat with "besteck",
that is, cutlery. Enio.
Bon appetit.
This is the Dalmatian way. First, in half,
and then, like this, in slices. Not like this.
Yes, and then you know who the boss is in the house, when you finish with the knife in the table.
And no one dares approach that watermelon anymore.
And now let's look at animals that don't need cutlery.
That's what I want to see.
Ana and Ante together. - We are the only ones who understood this task properly.
Aha.
Oh, shit.
No knife?
Come on, yes! Break it, yes!
I always wanted to do this.
I absolutely did not expect this.
Dear mother, now I have to eat melon like a zombie here.
Bon appetit.
I've reached my low point.
A little sexy scene?
No.
Five...
four...
three...
It was good.
I'm going to get a mop.
Disgusting animals, thank you for this.
You're welcome.
This was it, I've been waiting for this. - This was the task, that's right.
So with my own strength. - So that's that famous Tahiri elbow.
How she tore that melon apart.
Melon relented immediately.
Filming of the sequel to Kuda idu divlje svinje. [1971 TV series]
Bega, where did that elbow come from?
From Dubrava.
Ante...
I also didn't bring a knife and I thought I couldn't bring one...
What did you expect would happen when you threw a watermelon?
You thought it would go: "and then it splits apart" - That it will be neatly sliced up like this...
But this is how he threw it.
I said there that I always wanted to do that. A little weird.
And I finally got that wish, and just like this, "paf!"
And then I continued to gnaw like an animal,
an embarrassing, disgusting one.
But it was also a nice experience for me.
So, I need results. How much watermelon everyone ate.
So, we measured in grams.
Oh come on, to whom, how?
Lidija ate 57g.
Igor, 111.
Enio, 200.
Ante, 504.
Ana, 217g.
Come on! How did you measure that?
We weighed every watermelon,
and then we put everything back on the scale later.
After that they measured, and then they came to me, and I said...
"just write it down, who cares?"
Hats off.
And so we will divide the points.
Please. - Let's go from who ate the least.
Lidija ate the least.
That's how much she ate THERE. She probably ate it all later at home.
If that was scored, I would be first. - Yes, absolutely. She also took another watermelon we had as a reserve home.
But enough about that.
Igor was the next. 111g, which means two points.
Enio, three points.
Ana four points, and Ante five points. - That's right, yes, yes.
Let's look at the scoreboard.
Oh my, look at how close Tahiri got to me.
Drljo, 20.
Ana, 19.
Enio, 16.
Lidija, 16.
And with 14 points, at the back, Ante Tramanaminizi.
We've come to the last task in this episode.
Head to your right, because a live task will happen in front of everyone.
The last task is ahead of us. You have an envelope with the task.
A candidate should read... Enio.
Read it well. - I will, I will.
Mr Enio Meštrović.
How did you know my glasses are for farsightedness?
"Inflate and tie the biggest balloon while blindfolded."
"You have 100 seconds and one balloon."
Alright?
Is everything clear? Luka do you want to clarify one more time?
So they have to inflate a balloon...
First put on, please, all of you, your blindfolds.
They have gel, they have this gel.
Yes, we thought of you, Bega.
Ante, you need help maybe? - Here it is.
No blowing before I whistle.
Come on, I didn't even blow.
Do you see anything?
Don't blow the balloons yet!
You, nothing?
Don't blow, Drljo.
I'm not blowing! I'm just holding it in my mouth.
I see you want to cheat.
That is the problem. - And what... what are you doing?
Yeah, you can see, lower it so you can't see. - I can't see!
Enio, you can't see for sure. - Luka, get away from me. Don't show me those weird numbers.
So, you have 100 seconds to inflate the balloon.
Your time starts...
Do you have Scotch tape? I don't know how to tie it.
100 seconds. So the trick is that
in 100 seconds, if the balloon bursts, it is also a problem.
They don’t know how much the balloon can inflate.
Oh my! What if it bursts in my face? I'm kind of scared of it.
If it bursts in your face, it raises our ratings.
Mine is punctured!
Yours... it's possible that it's punctured.
I'm afraid! I would still blow, but I'm afraid...
You can see how... Whoa!
What kind of lungs are the biggest, that's...
Ignore that. Ok.
You also have to tie the balloon.
That part is the worst for me.
Mine has already flown away.
♫ Money, money, money ♫
♫ Must be funny ♫
Has everyone tied theirs?
Enio is done, Bega is done, Lidija is done,
Ante is doing something...
Take off the blindfolds!
Thank you very much crew, our...
laboratory section will check who inflated the biggest balloon,
and you can get back to your seats.
Then we will find out who the winner is.
The order is as follows.
Lile has one point and the smallest balloon.
Ana, two.
Igor, three points.
Enio and Ante are...
Enio, four. Ante, five points!
And Ante is the winner of the last task!
And now it's time to look at the points
of the overall episode and declare the winner
of this special... some episode.
Lile in last place, 17 points, and Ante 19.
Enio, 20.
Ana, 21.
And the winner, once again...
With 23 points, Igor Drljo!
Drljo is the winner of today's episode.
I would ask the victor to set out for his loot!
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for watching us. What have we learned today?
We learned to beware of the elbow from Dubrava.
Our blind eyes will never forget
♫ Sonja, Sonja, Sonja, that translator ♫
One round of applause for Igor Drljo, the winner of today's episode!
Luka Petrušić, Ivan Šarić. Director of the Universe and the other one.
See you.
See you! Watch us again! Goodbye!
Croatian transcription and translation by u/MarkoSeke
Subtitle timing and admin by u/taskmastermaster