Oi.
No!
“Think Like a Tall Man”
Welcome to Kongen Befaler.
The program where I send five representatives from the Norwegian glaciers-
-into the fire to solve tasks nobody asked for.
After ten programs, one of them will end up with a bust of gold of ...
Yes, that's right.
Of me!
And the juggler squad consists, as always, of: Maria Stavang!
Calle Hellevang-Larsen.
Jon Almaas.
Mia Hundvin.
And Magnus Devold!
Yes!
Yes, and then there’s you, Olli.
I don’t forget you, even if it’s done very quickly.
-Thanks. -There he is.
-I'm doing it. -You have faith that things are going well again?
Yes. I'm enjoying myself. I reckon...
-Yes, then ... Now I talked. -Yes, sorry.
You are here to keep track of points, meters, liters, kilos, times ...
Everything I'll not have to worry about, Olli.
-And today I have to be good. -Yes, that would be great.
- Steel control, right? - We'll see then, you know.
Let's see the scores so far after four programs.
Oi, it's close. Not just evenly, but evenly at the top!
No time to waste. Let’s get started!
Olli, now we’re excited. Tell everyone what the first task is.
As always, participants have brought an item within a category.
And all the things are put in a pot.
The winner of today's program takes everything home to their celebrity villa.
Today you have asked the participants to bring something -
- that you, Atle Antonsen, don’t know what it is. - Yes.
It sounds like a completely impossible task.
For everyone to bring something I don’t know what it is.
But I am ready and open to be blown to the ground by what you have with you.
I think we start with Maria. I have great faith in you today!
Yes. Now I have brought with me something you don’t know what it is.
Yes, so you say.
Something like this.
Do you see what it is?
-I can guess. -Yes.
But it's so embarrassing if it's not true.
-That's why I leave. -Should I sit down?
I don’t want to guess what it is or where it goes.
-It's not going anywhere. -No.
It would have been embarrassing to guess where it goes and then it doesn’t go there.
It doesn’t look like it goes anywhere. Now I have to wipe my forehead.
Geez. This is the first time you have been put out.
No, I must admit that I can’t say exactly what it is.
-It's relatively successful. -Should I say what it is?
-Tell. -It's a clitoris!
It is a 3D-printed clitoris.
-Yes, but you printed the whole thing? -Yes.
I have to be forgiven for not knowing.
But you didn’t know what it was and I took it with me.
The task is solved!
I feel like the program changed character.
Yes, and I was very sweaty and hot. I would almost say hot.
I liked it. From me, you get five points.
I thought it was a love affair.
They call it that, Jon.
Maybe that’s what you called it in the ’50s, or whenever you lived.
-Jon, what do you have with you? -I have something you won’t know what it is.
-So you say. -Yes.
And it's this.
Is it the same thing that Maria had with her? Only the male version.
Want to see it up close?
-Man version. -Not 3D-printed.
Thanks.
You don’t know what it is, because you have never encountered it before.
But also because it covers an area of ​​use that you don’t have.
Are we going to women again?
It could have been something you took the lives of pigs with.
Before you had this with air pressure, -
-that you had to hit this bolt into the skull of the animal.
It could be.
But in brass, no I don’t think it is.
-No. -I don’t want to guess either.
-Say what it is, Jon. -It is...
It’s a tool used to put the stopper in a wine bottle.
-Plug? -Oi!
-Or a cork possibly? -Yes.
You put the cork here, then you close it around the wine bottle.
Then you press here, and then the cork goes into the wine bottle.
But it is well resolved. The task has been solved; there is no doubt about that.
Calle, what do you have?
I have this here, so you don’t quite know what it is.
Is there anything you would like to tell about it-
-before I say I know what it is? Maybe it's not ...?
I’ll be very surprised if you know what it is.
-It is surprisingly widely used. -It will be.
-Not by me, but by the world. -Does it have anything to do with the body?
-Should it be used on a body? -It has to.
Is it a tool for giving enemas?
-Yes. -Is it?
What type of enema?
According to my rules, I'm in goal. I know what it is.
-You give enemas with it. -Yes.
It is simply a coffee enema.
- There are coffee grounds? Yes, exactly. - I've never tried it.
I give myself points for being close enough, but the coffee enema-
- I promise you, will clean the system.
But I imagined you had to blow it, so take it up your ass.
You can do that, but I think it's going to hang on the wall.
-Or higher than yourself. -Yes.
-Then insert it into the anus. -But do you have to blow on it?
You can do that.
Has it been passed down through generations of Hellevangs?
Yes, I found it ...
Was it your job in the village to give enemas to the people?
Yes. The annual enema meeting.
It was more than a festival. The Enema Festival.
-I should have been there. -Now that’s good, Atle!
Yes, good. You have not passed, of course. Mia, what do you have with you?
-I have this. -Oi. I've never seen that before.
-So, a blanket? -No.
-Yes, it looks like that. -No?
Yes, but you have to say it. You have to say what it is.
What? Have you started working together?
-I can’t say it myself ... -Is there something rough?
No, but I can’t bear you saying what you’re about to say-
-after he has said what it is.
Yes, but it's something rough. Is that your dog's jock blanket?
-Is there such a thing? -I don’t have a dog.
-Is it a sex blanket? -It must be something like that.
-No, that ... -Oh yes!
-Oh yes? -Mia is so humble.
She won the grandmaster award in a World Cup final.
- In handball. And that was the blanket. - It's a trophy.
Four extra rounds! And then you get it.
-France match? -Just right. What do you want to say?
I want to say, “Oops.”
-What you always say, bragging rights. -I would still say-
-that I have to get it right, for the very story around this-
-was not so important.
-You guessed blankets? -And there's a grandmaster award.
You came with a blanket; I said it’s a blanket.
I'm coming with a grandmaster award.
If you become world champion, then it's a bit of a downturn with a shawl.
- That's it. - That's not enough.
You have held on all your life, then you get a blanket.
Your dog's quilt?
But enough about that. Magnus, what are we not ...
-What is this? -What is this?
You are not willing to give any clues, I notice.
-No. -What is this? Tip now!
-Yeah, tip. -I see what it is, -
-but do you want to find out what it may have been once?
Or are you thinking about what exactly is it now?
It looks like some porcelain or broken glass.
-You're a little close. -Yes, a little...
-I'm a little into something. -Yes.
No, what you couldn’t see was ...
-It's my porcelain goose. -Your porcelain goose?
- Yes. - Did you break it?
Yes, the one you love so much?
-But your favorite porcelain goose? -Yes.
Did you break it for the occasion?
I first had it with me, but then he knows what a porcelain goose is.
So then I thought, "Maybe Atle doesn’t know what this is."
-That's right, yes. -Yes, you're partly right.
Right enough that it means that the task is solved.
Yes, but you may not win.
I take every point I can get, Atle.
-Have you made up your mind? -More than one opinion.
No doubt Calle ends up in last place, because I know what it is.
-Even if I made an attempt? -Yes, but still one point for you.
We give ... No, the blanket only gets two points. I can't get away from it.
I don’t, that is.
I wonder if I drive you into a medium position of three points.
You should be happy with that. Yes, you look enthusiastic, Maria, -
-because you are in top view. Little doubt about it.
-And you're a winner. -Yes!
Yes, then we can look at the score.
First time! First time I have won!
-It's your first victory. -My first win, Atle! Thanks, baby!
Will there be a dance?
Yes. Yes.
It's time for a new task, and now I want to see something sweet!
-But demanding. -Sweet, but demanding.
-It will be, and I'm looking forward to it. -Me too.
Wow!
Rock on.
Oi.
"Decorate the cake. The most impressive cake wins."
"You have 50 passes."
"The task starts in ten minutes."
This feels very good and strange at the same time.
Yes. A completely traditional cake decoration.
The task is reasonably straightforward.
Decorate the cake, and the one Atle thinks is best, wins.
Yes, and the cake then orbits the garden at a relatively high speed.
Of course.
Here it’s an advantage to be a master in the confectionery trade.
And in addition be fast and precise.
-I think that ... Because I think. -Yes, you do.
I think we have three pieces starting with "M" here.
-Yes, is that a hint? -It must not go unnoticed.
-No, shall we start with them? -Yes.
Maria, Magnus and Mia? Let’s see.
-Good you wear it. -Yes, I have to take it with me.
Yes, there is no point in rolling it on the wheels.
Does it have wheels?
I have learned in this program-
-that I should spend the ten minutes thinking about it.
Maybe I should see in the shed if there is anything I can use as an aid?
I don’t think I need anything in the shed.
Wait, yes.
Yes.
-Yes. -It was an accident, then.
Yes, was that it?
Here you have some bones.
I start with cream, so the other ingredients stick.
Very good.
Like that.
I make a spring May 17 [Constitution Day] cake with red, white and blue.
I remove the stem from the strawberries.
I don’t want the cake to look unappetizing either.
If I just start now ...
Oi, I have another bottom! I can take it with me.
That was on purpose.
-Four passes left. -I'm putting a candle on top, then.
And there is the last pass.
-There. -Ta-da!
Right in front of the chef himself.
-What kind of cake is that? -What kind?
It is a classic soft cake. Half and half.
-Are you satisfied? -It’s not too bad.
-But thank you. -Can I go?
-I have to go. -Ok.
-Oh, it was non-stop in here! -Yes, so good.
I must say that Magnus and Maria-
-formed a nice couple like Mr. and Mrs. Fomlesen. [fictional clowns]
Do you think it was completely coincidental that it was you two who got the plank in the ass?
No.
When you think about it, it was no accident.
I came to the "no".
I don’t know if it was completely coincidental.
-Then we agree. -Yes, that's good.
I have to say it was relatively neat what you got there.
That task took my spark of life.
-Did it? -Yes, because I was very unmotivated.
I'm a little embarrassed about it, so I figured out what Jon must have done.
Because you think he might have done something else?
Possibly better?
-Almost. -What do you think I probably did?
You spent the stupid ten minutes first, -
-then you took off the damn cake, decorated it, and put it on top again.
We have Calle and Jon again.
And I notice that I'm most looking forward to seeing Jon.
For it to be impressive, it must be high.
I'm wondering if I should use my cousin Styrofoam.
The baker's best friend.
-Knife? -Styrofoam.
And then this should be smeared with cream.
-Are you good at baking cakes? -Yes.
Calle will rely on his speed.
If you are going to run with embellishments, it’s hopeless.
Like that. Then I just have to have a stay, which goes through, so it doesn’t tip over.
Many people forget that.
Oi, oi, oi!
Here.
The trick is to find something that is easy to put on, but that gives a good effect.
Is there lighter fluid?
Like that! There.
Yes!
-40 passes. -Damn, what a shitty plan.
Look there, yes.
This is the dumbest thing I've ever been through.
Uff there.
Look here, yes.
Look here.
-It's strawberries. -And banana, non-stop, all sorts of nice.
Thank you.
Yes, Jon.
Was it a proud pastry chef who left the scene here?
Yes, in fact, when I look at what the others achieved without making ten-team, -
-so the result was not so wrong.
But was the result in line with the task that was set out in advance?
But I had violent ... I had something very fermenting.
Do you think the end result was in line with the task that was assigned?
-Not completely. -No.
I reach out to call it a kind of admission.
But it was Pascal, eat your heart out, what I was doing.
Calle, is this a cake you've baked before?
No ... Yes, maybe.
When things start to get difficult, I always solve it with flames.
It works every time.
The real question overall is whether I'm impressed.
Yes, I'm impressed. But mostly over the entertainment part of the feature, -
-because I think I was in the top tier.
You wouldn’t have chosen the five of us if you had the best.
No.
-In anything. -No, I love your self-awareness.
We have to hand out placements and points.
-Are you ready for that? -Yes.
Maria's is difficult, because I didn’t see it until half was eaten.
But it was so good!
Yes! That is correct.
But that was if I have to consider half a cake ...
I'm wondering with you ... No.
-Jon, you get a nice last place. -What?
Yes, because I don’t consider the entertainment factor, -
-but the finished result. And in relation to the ambitions, fail.
- Was I better than Jon? - Yes!
Not by much, so you get the penultimate.
-But I was better than Jon. -Two points for you.
Magnus, you get three points.
And no doubt about impressive, what you were doing, Calle ...
But you have the best result, so Mia wins!
Then we can see in total who is leading.
It is divided between Maria and Mia with seven points each.
Welcome back to Kongen Befaler.
Olli, now it's time to bring out your inner Lilli Bendriss [TV medium].
Oh yes, should have thought you were her, Atle.
No, I'm Snåsamannen. [Joralf Gjerstad, another psychic]
Now there is a task where it’s time-
-to find your inner Lilli Bendriss.
Right.
Now I have decided to be a little more on the cutting edge.
"This is an apple. Guess what the other four contestants have done with theirs."
Then do something with your apple.
If you come up with the same thing, then both of you get points.”
- Both get points? - It's not about surprise?
-No. -Ok.
Yes. Here they will guess what the other participants do with their apple.
But also do what the other participants think they will do.
It will probably not be clearer than that.
It's not about fooling each other, but doing the most obvious.
-I think we’re starting with Jon? -Yes.
- It was fun in the place. - He has a lot to defend.
The point is to hit on what they think what I think they think I do.
-Now you're on. -Now I'm on.
That's what I said I should be.
Jon does nothing.
He's too good for the apple.
I don’t think he has done anything with it.
"He's probably going to split the apple in two to show how strong he is."
I imagine that Jon has taken he apple and divided it in two, -
-because you can if you are strong enough.
-Like that. -How strong you are.
That's what I do with my apple.
Yes!
- High five! - There you were, Jon.
But here you were also very much on, Maria.
-Yes! -And Jon was very on.
Since Maria guessed right, and no one else did, -
-then you get one point each.
We go on and see what Magnus does with his apple.
Then there's Magnus Devold. A nut.
Oh, I have to think like a tall man.
Magnus is more like driving it. Up and down.
He thinks he's taking it in his pocket or with him.
-What are you going for? -With himself.
-Wow. -Wow!
There it is.
I just have to say that, Mia. Thinking like a tall man ...
-You got it! -It’s natural-
-to understand that a tall man takes it with him.
Have you had that apple in your pocket in all four episodes?
I wasn’t happy to see you; I had an apple in my pocket.
Mia and Magnus get points. The rest of you didn’t make it. Zero points.
-And we can take a look at Mia. -Yes.
- Shall we do it? - Be so good, Mia.
If they think: "What does Mia do with the apple?"
I'm throwing it away. Everyone is guessing.
Mia has put it down the gap.
Mia has done a trick where she has taken the apple, -
- thrown it under the arm, and received it like that.
Mia has taken a piece of the apple.
Mia has thrown it like a handball, of course.
Ta-da.
Wow.
Mia has devoted large parts of her life to throwing round things.
She has built an entire career on throwing round things.
She is known for throwing round things.
And what you're guessing she's doing with the apple, Calle, is putting it in her cleft.
Good! Good work!
I have to say that. Only you, Magnus, went for the obvious.
-I understand you did. -An obvious type.
And easy to read like an open book.
-But then we have a small point there. -Points to Magnus and Mia.
-And nothing to the others. -But there are more left.
Yes, absolutely! I thought we could take a look at Calle.
Yes, let's.
Calle has been fierce with this apple.
I imagine he threw the apple straight to hell on the ground.
He must have melted it into the ground, so it gets powdered.
He's doing something physical with it.
Yes, of course everyone here is into something.
But Mia, if you think I was going to give you credit for saying-
-that he does "something physical", then I would give it to everyone.
-Yes, but he does that ... -It's something physical.
-It was close. -It must be a little more specific.
-So here, no one hit. -Zero points.
We have Maria, too. Let’s see.
What will the others think of me?
Maria has taken a piece of the apple.
Maria has eaten it.
She's taken a bite.
Maria eats it.
If she doesn’t eat it, then she is ...
Is that what you do? The apple in your mouth and lying like a Christmas roast?
Yes.
Here I feel it was finished scoring.
If only you had done exactly what you usually do in each program.
Every time there has been something to eat, you have put it in your mouth for two years!
And the one time you can get points for it, -
- then you don’t. You could have run away with the victory.
I was just going to take a bite of that damn ugly apple.
Had it been a cake, you would have done it.
-If I had the whole cake! -Yes.
I was a little disappointed, because I had faith in you.
It is also very in character for her to be very stupid.
-She plays a stupid character? -I don’t know.
None of you can fall back on “Power of the Spirits.” [supernatural reality show]
But Olli, you can give us the final, miserable result of the task.
- Do you think it was miserable? - Yes.
It is a clear last place to Calle. One point.
Three points for shared third place to Jon and Maria.
And two winners in this task, Magnus and Mia. Five points each.
-Very good! -Wow!
We move on to the next task, Olli.
And now I want to see an activity that I enjoy.
At home, the cottage, and at the pub.
Yes, bucket down liters of beer?
That’s not exactly the one I was thinking about this time.
No, then I don’t know.
-Darts! -Oh yes. Darts.
Hi! Oi.
Is it throwing?
Atle is so beautiful.
"Score as many points as you can in darts-
-by selecting one of the options."
"One dart from a distance of one meter."
“10 darts from 10 meters away."
“20 darts from 20 meters away. "
I go for 10 from 10.
-Yes. -Yes.
Yes, it should be mentioned that 20 meters is longer than usual?
What is common are three darts from 2.37 meters, -
-so the options here are a bit longer and shorter.
And then we use the back of the board, the one with points from 1-10.
This can be a bit of a thriller, but before we fire the first dart, -
-we will fire off an ever so small break. We'll be right back.
Welcome back to Kongen Befaler. We will have an ever so small darts competition.
And who do you participants say is the favorite here?
Yes. Ok.
We have a favorite! So therefore we’ll hold Mia until the end.
We build the mood. This is called dramaturgy.
-Thanks for the information. -You're welcome.
Then we look at the others.
The old, stupid children think they can throw from 10 meters.
-While I'm smart. -Yeah.
Ta-da!
I don’t think I will win, but I will at least beat Magnus.
Yes, yes.
- Do you see the red dot? -Yes.
Right about.
So two out of ten throws have to go in. Two out of twenty throws must go in.
But at all coming forward here is an issue.
One...
-Two points! -Yes.
Is it allowed to use aids?
Because there's something here.
-You build a weapon in many ways. -Yes.
I have built a weapon, for I have tethered it there, -
-and then it is height- adjustable that way there.
The direction is very good. I go for this.
-I try ten darts from ten meters. -Yes.
I'm wondering if I should get down.
- Don’t you dare sit there? - No. I'm going behind.
Four points.
Bullseye.
Yes. Two plus four plus two.
Eight.
Mia Hundvin may have a good throwing arm, -
-but it’s not as precise as this one.
-Here comes the first dart. -Ok.
-Oi. -Rough miss.
-Miss. -Yes, thank you.
-A point? -It looks like that.
-One point is good. -Yes.
Damn bad equipment I work with. Antonsen's shitty compressor.
-Two darts left. -Yes, I know.
-Yes! There we are. -Last attempt.
Three, two, one ...
Yes! Yes!
Yes!
Yes! What? Now it works.
- Too bad it was the last dart. - Yes.
-Yes, Jon. Have you built a cannon before? -Never!
- Now you have built your first cannon. - It was a wonderful experience.
That was it!
Maria, you went out hard here and said you were very smart.
-Are you willing to vouch for it? -1000 percent.
-It must last. -Yes.
It's not bad, that. Jon leads, then Maria is on others.
Then Calle is third and Magnus fourth. We have one left!
Yes, and she’s the big favorite. Shall we take a look?
Here comes Mia.
I'm going for 20. Hell.
- Was it 10, Olli? - Yes.
-That's 10. -Now I’m happy.
No.
Is it true? Is it?
That...
It is the biggest crash in Norwegian sports history ever.
-It's never happened before. -It's very impressive.
Think about what Marit Breivik [another handballer] has achieved with you.
You got 10 points on the first shot, and you still have 19 shots left.
This means that you just need 2 points in the course of 19 arrows, -
-to manage to beat Jon. Do you think it’s possible?
-Yes. -Jon, do you agree?
It should. She is a world champion.
She has talked about this in every single program.
She is one of the best in the world at throwing.
She has been awarded a blanket, medals, -
-backs, kits, jackets, skirts, pants, caps.
-She got it all! -Yes.
So if she can’t do this, I'll laugh out loud.
-Then we look at Mia. -Let's do it.
Ok.
Hell.
Ok, what did I do instead? Fuck.
No!
I can't waste any more now. I have to throw there.
Three steps.
Fuck, Olli. I have one more.
Last.
Two.
Yes. Do you remember I mentioned dramaturgy, Olli?
-I remember it. -This is dramaturgy at a high level.
This is amazing. Congratulations. Receive the people's tribute.
We have to get the score up. There are five points for Mia.
Then we'll see how it goes in total.
In total so far in the program, we have Mia-
-on a superb 1st place with 17 points. But it's not over.
There is still one task left. That’s the last task.
A lot can happen. It's happening here! Up on stage in front of the audience.
Come on! Up on stage.
We're on stage. Calle, you have something in front of you. It looks like a letter.
-Can you read it aloud? -I can do that.
"You have 30 seconds to place 1-10 donuts on the small plate.
The one who places the lowest unique number of donuts wins the task."
After 30 seconds, everyone has a number of donuts between 1 and 10 on the platter.
The one with the lowest number is the one who wins the task.
If someone else has the same number, they automatically get only one point.
Magnus, you're tall enough, but it's not allowed to look over at Mia.
I can’t see a thing!
- It’s not allowed! Don’t fool the system. - Don’t be afraid of it.
-He looks all the way here, even. -Then we start with 30 seconds, -
-from...
How long has it been now?
Yes...
Ten seconds have passed.
There's a bit of clinking. Everyone is thinking. It is allowed to clink.
Yes, but it sounds like I'm working.
Twenty seconds have passed.
It's from 1-10, so 0 is not allowed.
Then there are four, three, two, one.
And...
Ok. I took a gentle blow at the end here. Let’s see.
I'm going straight to you, Maria. It's seven.
- Yes, to be bomb-proof. - Great choice.
-You go that way? -I'm going behind.
-Welcome to my booth. -Yes, you went for one.
-One, yes. -Good, you're leading for now.
Shall we see, Jon.
-Jon has gone for four. -Oi.
- You're last, Maria. - Yes, yes.
So we have one, four and seven.
Let’s see. Mia, exciting.
You also went for four.
-Are you completely ... -Are you distant?
-Then I move on. -I haven’t looked at you.
There are also four here.
- So then we have one winner. - Do you want to hear my tactics?
I thought no one was so stupid that they just put one.
Calle has added one. He wins. We take the summary, down there.
- Do you want the points? - Yes.
The points are pretty obvious.
Those of you who had four donuts each share last place.
If someone is equal, they get one point automatically.
So Jon, Mia and Magnus get one point each and end up in last place.
Maria, you get four. Second place with your seven.
Then we have Calle with five points in this task.
Overall, it looks like this:
It simply means that Mia is today's winner!
One point ahead of Maria. Fantastic effort!
Mia, come up and get your prizes.
Receive lots that I didn’t know what they were, but now know what they are.
We’ll take a look at the total score after five programs.
It's a three-way tie for the lead!
81 points for Calle, Jon and Mia. 69 for Magnus, and 67 for Maria.
It's close. We’ll be back next time.
There are many points to fight for. Thank you very much for tonight.
Norwegian text: Silje Amanda Sæbø www.iyunomg.com