Or are these also a part of the task?
Don't you freeze on me now! Don't you freeze on me now!
I probably won't take that boiling water after all, so people will live.
I had this safety pin in my pants.
Good evening! I'm Jaakko Saariluoma, and this is Taskmaster.
The plot of this cuplé — if you'll allow such a common expression — is as follows:
I've come up with a bunch of tricky tasks, the unwary contestants have carried them out,
and now we've come together to watch how they've done.
And of course, we'll laugh. Sure, not at them, but with them.
Our regular contestants are Aku Hirviniemi, — [*Stage, screen, and sketch actor]
Minka Kuustonen, — [*Stage and screen actress]
Miika Nousiainen — [*Novelist, journalist, screenwriter]
and Kiti Kokkonen. [*Actress, voice actor, writer]
And tonight competing with them is the lovely news presenter Kirsi Alm-Siira.
And here next to me, on a slightly smaller but stylish desk, or rather, next to the desk —
sits my loyal assistant and the programme's official judge, Pilvi Hämäläinen.
Pilvi, how are you feeling as we proceed to tonight's match?
— Good. — Would you like to sort of, say something more?
— Very good. — Thanks, Pilvi.
Next, we'll find out what we'll be competing for tonight —
and as we do, I'll be giving the first round of points.
Pilvi, will you just remind us what this is about?
The prizes come from the home archives of our contestants.
And this time, the thing you asked them to bring as a prize was —
the best thing from the 90s.
Ah! Ri-right, right, that's what it was, sure.
Let's start with Aku.
I brought the Aroma Nest*. [*Finnish cooking pot sold on the shopping channel in the 90s. Had a meme status for sounding like a euphemism for "smelly vagina".]
(Laughter.) (Jaakko:) The Aroma Nest... [*Finnish cooking pot sold on the shopping channel in the 90s. Had a meme status for sounding like a euphemism for "smelly vagina".]
Yeah. As a child, I enjoyed role playing all sorts of characters —
I enjoyed being a soldier, a policeman, a secret agent, but also a matador.
And the Aroma Nest, it makes a great matador hat, it does...
What... what's the other one, do you... is it like, you'd ask people to toss money into the other hat?
No, no, no, I used it as a potty.
As a potty? That's quite interesting, because there's a hole in the bottom of the Aroma Nest, but...
Ehh, yes. — (Jaakko:) Thanks.
Thank you. And then, Minka, what did you bring? The best thing from the 90s.
So I brought Mikko Alatalo's* [*Mainly folk + children's music] Känkkäränkkä* on a C—cassette. [*A witch that only kids can see, which causes their bad moods and behaviour]
(Minka:) And it's with Mikko's autograph. [*A witch that only kids can see, which causes their bad moods and behaviour]
So this is, this was my favourite cassette as a kid and um, I listened to it a lot but —
that's not all, I mean I've also met Mikko Alatalo.
And I've met him in an Austrian skiing center, because he was my alpine skiing coach.
Thanks for this, Minka. — I've had that same cassette —
and I also had Mikko's autograph, I got it from some event. — No way! — A lovely memory.
— Regards to Mikko. — Kiti, what did you bring?
Well, I brought... (clears throat.) — (Miika:) What's that?
You can say it out loud, we can always beep it out if it's something like that.
I brought two great works.
Two great works. — Yes. These are um, the first editions, and —
I've edited and illustrated them myself, and sort of done all the work, so they are Horsie Crazy 1 and 2.
(Minka:) I can't take this. — (Kiti:) And um, this is like, in a way, the thing that set my career into motion. [*Cover: "Horses! Horses..." "Lettr! Lettr!" "Natalia's pedigree!" "NEW COMIC STRIP!" "Double deal only 5 marks" [*Pre-€ currency] "7 pages" "Buy Horse Crazy, it has a double comic! Hooey horse's horsings."]
This is where it started. [*Cover: "Horses! Horses..." "Lettr! Lettr!" "Natalia's pedigree!" "NEW COMIC STRIP!" "Double deal only 5 marks" [*Pre-€ currency] "7 pages" "Buy Horse Crazy, it has a double comic! Hooey horse's horsings."]
— So you brought two great works that you've personally slapped together. — Uh-huh.
And this was the best thing from the 90s that you had at your disposal.
Well I do have a sticker and autograph of Neumann from Dingo.* [*Vocalist of briefly very popular 80s Finnish boy band] — But this was better. — This was better.
What does "lettr lettr" mean? — "Letters, letters".
How broad was this distribution?
This one, very scarce, because we specifically wanted to keep this as a sort of unique thing. — A publication for small circles.
Indeed, this was just between me and my friend next door. Yeah.
And your friend next door told us that this was made in 1989, so it's not even from the 90s.
Well, yeah, but does it really matter so much, that...?
The 80s and the 90s... — Dingo wasn't from the 90s either, by the way. — No it wasn't, no.
— Well then, Kiti... — This whole thing just got watered down —
and it would've been really sick if I'd done this in the 90s because I would've already been 16!
Thanks. Thanks for this, Kiti. Kirsi, what did you bring?
Oh my. Um, I think I may have also confused the decades a bit, but —
I brought a hair crimper.
And I'm just wondering if this is going um, all pear-shaped —
because I remembered that in the 90s, my identity was based on —
crimped hair, and I did look quite a bit like Neumann.* [*Vocalist of the mentioned 80s boy band, Dingo]
But um, that may have been in the 80s.
(Jaakko:) Is it right to say that it's been a rather hazy time for you?
— You can't quite remember what happened and when. — Nope. — Miika. — Shoot.
What did you bring then? The best thing from the 90s. — Well, I approached this with symbolism.
As in, the items are probably not from the 90s, but they like, remind you of the spirit of it.
I mean, to me, the 90s means um, (economic) depression.
And that's when like, I brought a grey cardigan which like, through the economical depression, symbolises my personality.
Just like, a sort of stillness and depression-ness —
and then um, with it, there's a barbecue steak, —
which represents the idea by which we bounced back from the 90s depression.
Well, it was by winning the Ice Hockey World Championships in 1995, —
whose symbol is Timo Jutila*, [*Ice hockey defenceman] whose symbol, in turn, is the barbecue steak. [*As a bbq connoisseur]
And this is the kind of chain of thought that might be a bit too clever for a lot of people, but...
— No, we all got it immediately. — ...But what I was going for, was like, in a way, the depression on a symbolic level, and the rise from it.
Thanks, Miika. — (Minka:) Nice.
Right. And now I should be scoring these somehow. I asked you to bring the best thing from the 90s.
We've got Horsie Crazy, and the Aroma Nest. And a hair crimper.
I'll give everyone three points for trying. — Oh wow! — Who's in the lead?
And what's best of all, tonight's winner gets to take these 90s "treasures" home.
The winner of the entire season, however, gets to leave with this, the finest of statues —
the golden Taskmaster statue.
But now we've reached the point where it's time to really kick off the competition. Let's get to the mansion.
Welcome. — Thank you.
Thank you. — "Burst these balloons as quicky as possible."
"Whoever bursts all the balloons the fastest, wins."
"Time starts when the first balloon bursts."
So the objective was to burst the balloons that had been attached along the line, and to do it as quickly as possible.
The time only started when the first balloon burst.
So the contestants had a chance to find various tools —
and all sorts of stuff in order to deal with the task as quickly as possible. — Indeed.
— Well. Who's first? — Let's start with um... Let's watch the performances of Minka and Kirsi.
I'm just gonna take it easy for now, 'cause I haven't started popping them yet. — OK.
Scissors would be the best, but I can't find them just yet.
Nails would do. Some really sharp things. These are good.
— (Whispers:) Ah fantastic. — Right. To the kitchen, for the scissors.
Every kitchen has a pair of scissors.
There they are!
Right then.
I'll just pop over to get the scissors.
I found a pair of scissors. I'll break them with these.
This probably wasn't forbidden.
I'll just make sure that there aren't any traps, like one balloon being hidden somewhere where I could miss it.
I think I'll start with this one.
Okay. One... — Two, three, go!
Why didn't that occur to me?
Time.
— There.
We had the same technique. — Right, that was quite something.
Kirsi, this sort of looked like a children's party had just ended, and... Was this something that you enjoyed doing?
Yes. It really was, I enjoyed every balloon. — What were the times, Pilvi?
Kirsi dealt with this task in 40 seconds.
Wow. — Pretty quick.
I'm getting a bit nervous now. — So am I.
When it comes to Minka, she managed to tighten up the pace, and completed the task in 26 seconds. — Oh wow!
No way!
— So, the game is on. Whose performance is next? — Let's see how Aku did. — I can barely wait.
Well this one is clear. I mean this is... absolutely clear.
The easy way is a pair of scissors, a knife or something.
I mean I tried to look for something like a weapon of mass destruction from the shed, like, you know...
Is there a lawnmower in here?
Do you have a lawnmower that you could borrow? Or, alternatively, if you've got a flame thrower.
No way!
Right, if I'll just give it a go. Thanks.
Should I have something else just in case that this doesn't work out?
Meh, just get on with it, come what may.
Don't you freeze on me now! Don't you freeze on me now!
Time.
Aku, I must say, when I saw you coming with that hedge trimmer, the expectations were really high.
What was Aku's result?
Aku's result was one minute and 15 seconds.
Didn't work, the weapon of mass destruction. — At this point, you'd be the bronze medalist.
Let's crack on.
Let's crack on indeed. And the way to proceed is that we still have the performances of Miika and Kiti remaining. — The best ones last.
Right. But the best ones — if that's what they are — will be seen only after the next break. See you soon.
Welcome back, this is Taskmaster.
Before the break, we saw how the contestants tried to pop balloons as speedily as possible.
And in the process, ruined at least one hedge trimmer.
We still haven't seen Miika's and Kiti's performances.
And we'll see their performances in one package, now.
— What's on your mind? — I'm wondering if they could be like, gathered.
Are there any bows in here? Probably not.
Damn, it would be so cool to pop the whole line with one arrow in like, a second.
Now I'll have to be careful not to break any before they've all been gathered.
There's an electric kettle in here.
Doing it with boiling water would probably be faster than just a single stab. At least in um...
No way! — ...in medical science.
I'll just make, like... a cluster.
Surely they'd explode from boiling water.
Hey, I'll get them with this. I had this safety pin in my trousers.
If I consider throwing, versus something like this.
I probably won't take that boiling water after all, so people will live.
I need to secure them somehow. And I'll do just that. I'm wearing a dress underneath.
You know, 'cause the point is that they're all in one cluster.
Like this. Now they're together.
I'll do a test run from here. Like this.
Alright.
(Kiti:) Oh no, why aren't they breaking?
(A balloon pops. Laughter.)
This knuckleduster isn't working at all.
(Kiti:) Oh, like this!
Damn it, failed.
I can't believe this!
There you go. Yes! One more. — Time.
Nooo!
No! — Miika.
Did you... It was so amazing to watch, when you'd done all the preparations —
you had everything lined up for a tour de force —
and then, just a bit too early, one balloon burst. — Yeah, I must admit that the situation changed there —
I had to react quickly. I think I did react semi quickly.
One fourth quickly. — What were the times?
Miika's time was 29 seconds. — What in the world?
You really do lose your sense of time.
— And Kiti... — I was absolutely certain that I'd be good at this.
— 47 seconds. — Right, okay.
Kiti, I have to ask you, are you always like, wearing a skirt under your trousers —
just for some specific situations such as that one?
Well no, not for situations like that, but I very often do wear a skirt underneath my trousers, and...
Is it so that if at a grocery store they ask if you want a separate bag for the frozen goods, you can go "wait, I'll just take my trousers off"?
No. It's because I like to wear my trousers so low that otherwise you would see everything —
'cause I don't really wear panties.
Have you heard the English sentence "too much information"?
Yes, I have, but since you were doing a little bit of fishing there, I thought I'd put an end to it.
I definitely was not fishing.
Five points to Minka. — Go, Minka!
It was the fastest one of all. And the rest get points according to their times.
Pilvi, who's in the lead on the scoreboard?
Currently, the one in the lead is Minka.
(Jaakko:) Congratulations, Minka. Quite a few of you have some room to improve there.
And let's give you that opportunity. Let's get to the mansion straight away.
Hello — Hello.
Good afternoon. — Hi.
This is so exciting every time.
And the Oscar goes to... Okay fine.
"Don't blink for as long as possible."
"You may not touch your eyes or eyelids."
"Winner is the one who can go the longest without blinking."
"Time starts now."
So the objective was to avoid blinking for as long as possible.
And you weren't allowed to touch your eyes. And you weren't allowed to touch your eyelids.
Excellent. Whose performance do we get to enjoy first? — The performances of Minka and Miika.
"Time... starts..."
I won't say "time starts now". So should I just look forward? Yeah.
"...nnnnow."
"Time starts now."
Am I allowed to talk? — You can.
Did I...? Surely I didn't just blink? — Yes, you did.
No I did not. You weren't seeing right.
— Let's just say, that didn't take long, did it. — Nope. — What were the results, Pilvi?
Well, Minka was actually quite smart and only opened her eyes once she started performing the task.
But turns out, it didn't help her at all. — Nope.
Minka's attempt took three seconds.
Was it so short? — Yes.
It felt longer.
But Minka, after this performance, she was really happy, saying, "I did beat you, at least."
Minka, this was not a staring competition.
Was it not? — (Jaakko:) What was Miika's result?
Miika, on the other hand, managed to not blink or talk for nine seconds.
Surprisingly long time.
Miika, which one was harder, not blinking, or not talking for nine seconds?
Not talking, and instantly when I started talking, I blinked.
But I mean, it is insane to be quiet for nine seconds isn't it.
Let's just say that these performances weren't very special.
Who are we gonna watch next? (Minka:) — Yeah, I didn't impress myself there.
Right, next, let's watch how Aku and Kirsi approached this task.
"Time starts now."
No!
Well these were much better, weren't they.
Kirsi, you did quite well, um, what was your technique?
Did you take on the same mode as when you're waiting for your turn on the News?
I tried to um, we used to do this as kids, um, I just tried to somehow blur my... Like, acquire the sense that —
I'm not focusing on anything.
But you know, like, I'd form this sort of veil in front of my eyes. And I think I did well —
and immediately when I blinked, I realised how it should've been done, how I would've won it.
— But this was a competent performance. — I'm absolutely certain that one of us got that idea. — And this was a lot of fun to watch.
Did you announce the results yet? — No I didn't. — Well go on then. — Aku's result was 18 seconds.
Wow.
Quite a bit longer than Miika's.
And Kirsi on the other hand went on for 34 seconds without blinking. — Good grief!
That's great. The things you learn on the News!
The robotic turns were cool.
We still haven't seen one performance. It's Kiti's.
We'll see it after the next break.
Welcome back, this is Taskmaster.
Before the break, we saw some intense staring, as the contestants tried to keep their eyes open for as long as possible.
We still haven't seen Kiti's performance. Let's watch it.
"Time starts now."
(Miika:) Oh here we go!
You're a genius.
You've played this game before, haven't you? — I haven't, actually.
I'm just having a clever day. There's not a lot of them, but...
— Kiti. — Yeah? — Are you sure that you read the instructions carefully? — No.
I'll open my eyes now and give them another read. Right...
(Aku:) No but you were a genius! A genius! — Exactly.
Whatever happens, that was quite genius.
Was it genius, Pilvi?
Right, well, according to the textbooks, the definition of blinking is —
to very quickly close and open your eyes.
And in the beginning of the task, Kiti did indeed close her eyes. So um...
(Pilvi:) Does it count as blinking?
(Aku:) No, I mean this was genius. — No, this was genius. I'd just like to ask one thing —
What did you have in mind when you suddenly started wondering if you had understood the instructions correctly?
Well it was Pilvi who planted that seed of suspicion.
I'm so amenable. So amenable.
I'm glad Pilvi did it, otherwise you'd still be at the mansion, standing with your eyes closed. — Yeah, that's true, that's true.
Pilvi just said, "according to the textbooks" —
so are there a lot of textbooks on this field of study where you like, close and open your eyes? — Yes.
The blinking courses, volumes 1-8.
This doesn't count as blinking, so Kiti takes the 5 points. — Go Kiti!
And everyone else gets points from one to four according to their rankings.
How are the total scores at this point? — Right now in the lead we have... Kiti and Kirsi.
(Jaakko:) There's still plenty of points to be had, so let's just head straight back to the mansion.
Hello. — Hello.
There's three envelopes. — Oh I see. Will I just open this one first?
Okay, is this...? — Time starts...
This time, the contestants were faced with a slightly different kind of task —
as their abilities were put through a test in a completely new way.
Even the task envelopes came as a set of three. — Excellent.
And whose performance do we get to enjoy first? — Let's start with Kirsi and Minka.
"Balance one of the items on the tray on top of a pole."
And now are these, are these also a part of the task?
Can I go get some tools? — Yes.
"Eat one of the things on the tray, —
and throw one of the items into a bucket from behind the rope."
A bucket? There's a bucket.
So this is butter. This is jelly.
Which one of these um, might be the best to throw into the bucket?
This is my first solution.
What are you doing? — I'm making a pole.
There. It's on a pole.
Well I can't decide which one would be ideal.
Maybe that goes up there.
Done!
Okay.
And it didn't say that this couldn't be moved, did it.
So I can probably move this.
There. And then I'll eat this.
And there we just saw two very different performances.
Pilvi, what were their times?
For Minka, dealing with the tasks took 4 minutes and 15 seconds —
but some of the jelly ended up outside of the bucket.
Kirsi on the other hand did a task that was in one envelope. Just the one envelope.
She didn't read the other two at all. And...
her time was 2 minutes and 30 seconds. — I focused on the time, intending to deal with this quickly. — Yeah, clearly.
Right. Um, Kirsi, did you just assume that the task was to pop every possible thing to the end of some stick?
(Laughter.) No.
I just didn't get it, I just somehow thought that you could pick any one letter, I didn't care about the other two at all.
What about Minka? — Yeah...
How do you think you did? — Did you just say that I took more than four minutes?
4 minutes 15 seconds. — How's that even possible?
Kirsi and Minka, thanks for these performances.
We still haven't seen Miika, Aku and Kiti.
We'll see them after the next break. And after the break, we'll also learn about a completely new aspect regarding this task.
See you soon. — (Minka:) Oh no! No!
Welcome back to Taskmaster.
Before the break, we saw how Kirsi and Minka struggled with three task envelopes —
and at least personally considered the task done.
We still have the performances of Miika, Aku, and Kiti remaining.
And we'll see the three all in one go.
"Throw one of the items on the tray into a bucket from behind the rope."
Oh but there's several envelopes.
"Eat one of the things on the tray."
"Balance one of the items on the tray on top of a pole."
On top of a pole, balance.
How much time do I have for this?
Eat one of the items.
I'm gonna have to get this to... stand straighter.
There.
How can you even miss it?
A grown man...
Some of it went in. Could that count already? No.
Oh bloody hell.
Yes! Huh?
Can I say "Voi voi!" [*"Voi" can mean "butter" or "be able". "Voi voi" means "oh no", so it also means "butter can..."]
Or is this margarine margarine? — Very funny. [*"Voi" can mean "butter" or "be able". "Voi voi" means "oh no", so it also means "butter can..."]
Seems to me...
So fierce.
These were quite nimble performances weren't they. Kiti, "Yes!", that celebration.
I just thought that it had gone in.
What were the times? — Miika's time was 3 minutes 32 seconds.
Kiti's time was 2 minutes 56 seconds, but as said, not everything made it into the bucket.
Aku on the other hand dealt with this in 1 minute and 20 seconds.
Pretty good. But Pilvi, —
they all knew that the task didn't end here though, didn't they?
Yes. So everyone certainly did know that in reality, —
this was about measuring self confidence and resistance to stress.
In other words, in plain English: which one of you was the most confident about your own performance. And um...
Oh no... — This isn't fair now.
So here we actually have a little summary of everyone's performance.
(Laughter.)
Did you really read all the tasks? — Goddamn it.
Are you sure that you did it correctly? — No.
Do you mean these?
How do you think you did?
"Balance one of the items on the tray..."
Are you certain that you did them all in the right order?
Well I can't remember what order they were in, can I now.
Right.
No but surely that was all, wasn't it. Damn it, if there's some kind of scheming...
Something... annoying.
Are you absolutely sure? — I am.
Absolutely sure. — Alright then.
(Miika:) You won this. — So fierce.
Yeah, so, at this point the whole thing just got turned upside down —
when every one of our regular contestants thought really, really, really hard —
before confirming that they were done with the task.
Meanwhile, Kirsi who had only read one of the letters and bungled the whole task —
she was absolutely, completely certain right away, like, "yeah, that was it."
Wonderful. Kirsi, that anchorwomanly assertiveness is exactly what we need.
Do you have any tips for the others? — No.
Well. The points from this will go as follows:
Five points to Aku, four points to Miika, —
three points to Kiti, two points to Minka —
and one point to Kirsi.
However, Kirsi gets three extra points for assertiveness, and the others get none.
Quite witty. — It was indeed.
But dear friends, there's still points to go. It's time for the final task.
Pilvi, what's the final task? — In the final task, the contestants are gonna have to face the facts.
Kirsi, would you please read the task aloud.
"Write down a fact that's seven words long. The taskmaster will try to read it from your lips."
"You have one attempt. You may not speak aloud —
or communicate the fact in any other physical way."
"The one to successfully communicate the most words to the taskmaster, wins."
"Extra point for the best fact."
"You have 45 seconds to write down the fact."
Time starts now.
Seems like everyone's ready. — Right, everyone's ready.
Good, are you ready? A seven word fact. Let's start with Miika. Go ahead.
(Laughter.) [*Note: The following translations will not attempt to reflect the actual word counts, but merely translate the meaning.]
Sandy flowers are best seen in a trash can. [*5 Finnish words]
"The legendary Jaakko Jahnukainen —
was the original host on the Juke Box Jury. [*7 Finnish words]
Wow.
How did it just go over your head?
Sandy, legendary... Okay, yeah. But it is a fact. — It's a fact.
Kirsi, go ahead.
(Laughter.)
The Earth is round, even though other claims have been made. [*7 Finnish words]
You couldn't just get that! What in the world?
So what was it, Kirsi? — "The Earth is round, even though other claims have been made."
Minka.
(Jaakko:) Go ahead.
The Earth revolves around the Sun and itself. [*7 Finnish words]
"The Earth revolves around the Sun as well as itself."
You were missing the "as well as" word. — Thanks.
And Aku, go ahead.
(Laughter.)
This is a fact? — (Aku:) Yes.
Jaakko Saariluoma has brought humour to Finland. [*6 Finnish words]
Thanks for this fact. And what was it?
But that was a while ago wasn't it. — But what was it?
It was "Jaakko Saari luoma has brought humour to Finland." [*Forced 7 words by splitting the last name that consists of two words]
(Jaakko:) Let's see it.
Seven words, so "saari" and "luoma" are separate words.
I don't know that guy.
Right. And then. Last one, professor Kokkonen. — Yes.
(Jaakko:) Go ahead. 430 00:38: ¬13,720 --> 00:38:16,160 (Jaakko:) All the red... — No!
Don't give up just yet.
Eh... Eh... Blah, blah...
...gases of the Earth.
(Laughter.)
"All ants jump into the air, —
the Earth gets pushed off its orbit." [*7 Finnish words]
And this is a fact? — It's been in Hesari!* [*Helsingin Sanomat, the biggest newspaper]
It's been in Hesari!
(Laughter.)
All the ants in the world jump into the air at the same time —
and the Earth gets pushed off its orbit.
(Jaakko:) And this was in Hesari? Was it in the comic strips, or?
They have the children's news section there, don't they. — Does a fact have to be true?
— I mean surely this is true. — So we asked for facts, and facts we got.
Pilvi, who was the most successful?
The ones to communicate the most words were Kirsi and Aku.
But whose fact was the best of them all?
Whose fact was the best? Umm..
Well I have to say that it was Kiti's ant fact. — Yay!
I just kept wondering about how the ants could inform each other to say "let's jump now".
There's time differences and all that.
But the most important question: Who won tonight's competition?
After counting all the points, the winner is...
...Kirsi Alm—Siira.
(Jaakko:) Kirsi, congratulations. — Thank you.
Go ahead, you can go and admire the prizes you just won.
Thanks to Kirsi Alm-Siira, Thanks to all the other contestants.
Thanks to all of our viewers. This was Taskmaster.