Hello, I'm Vasco Palmeirim.
And I am Nuno Markl.
So, when RTP told us that we would be doing a first season of this show
we were happy.
Then we did a second season and we were a bit more happy.
Now?
Now it's whatever God Almighty wants.
Welcome to the third season of Taskmaster!
I need four goats!
This is really hard!
Save yourselves!
[Gabriela yells]
[Cândido growls]
Wow, what a beauty, you slay, wonderful.
I think I didn't think straight. It doesn't matter.
Ta-daa!
Tons of Vehemence.
We're back!
And it's a new era on this show.
Important changes are happening.
And it's with joy that I can announce that we have new armchairs!
[Vasco yells happily]
Armchairs! - They look like the other ones
but the padding is far more comfortable on my needy buttocks.
I knew you'd appreciate it.
And ladies and gentlemen, an applause for the useless person
who is still in this house, and I'm glad of it, Nuno Markl!
Thank you very much. Thank you very much.
However, the news isn't just that we have new better padding on the armchairs.
Even if the comfort of your buttocks is, indeed, the most important thing
for us in this show.
In other news, we also have a new panel of contestants!
Yes, after torturing four people for two seasons,
we felt that it was time to torture more people.
It's-how I was about to say?
A fancy assortment of artists of various talents.
Now the question is, are they ready for this?
[evil laughter]
I don't know what just happened.
Very good!
On the number 1 chair, a woman who already
had an experience on TV, on another channel.
Recently a follower sent her this message:
"I really enjoy watching you. When will you be back on TV?"
And the answer this women gave was, "If everything goes right, never!"
Fortunately things didn't go well, because she's here.
Ladies and gentlemen, by popular demand:
Madalena Abecasis!
[applause]
Oh yeah, you're powerful, get up.
That's it.
Thank your crowd.
Beautiful. - Next to Madalena,
a man who's been treated in a lot of ways.
There are those who call him Viking. And those who call him Spartan.
Those who call him Candinho, and those who call him CC.
But if remember what he did when he was our guest
during season 2, it's with unrestrained pleasure that I say
that returning to Taskmaster, is the Mop Man.
Ladies and Gentlemen, he is Cândido Costa!
In the middle chair,
take care, one of the biggest actresses in Portugal.
She's drama, she's comedy, she's a Golden Globe,
but in a recent talk, she says she worries a lot
about the judgment of others.
Oh girl, your suffering is just starting.
She was the first guest of Taskmaster to win an episode,
and has deservedly become a fixed contestant in that armchair.
It's Gabriela Barros.
On the number 4 chair, born in São Luís do Maranhão,
he came to Porto 13 years ago. I did the math.
He's a designer, he's a reporter on RTP,
once in a while he acts, and he also says that once
in a while he gets some pretty crazy stuff
in his DMs on Instagram.
But let's not talk about the nudes Markl took to convince him to be here.
Well, if it worked, it worked.
An applause for Wandson Lisboa.
[applause]
Our guest tonight.
When I first started as a host on RTP,
a few years ago, he was a part of the cast of that show.
It was Feitos ao Bife [a talent show], and as such, I'm really happy
to see that at the start of this season of Taskmaster
this individual is here tonight.
He says that he was always a peaceful guy,
but once, a few years ago, with his friends,
they made a fire 3 metres tall.
And what did they do?
They've started to throw spray cans onto it.
Why? - That's why this man
is not allowed inside any Saint John's party.
He is António Raminhos!
Raminhos, how are you?
So, I'm fine now. - Are you?
Now I'm fine. When I did the tasks, I wasn't.
Why weren't you well?
Because you get really stressed while doing it.
You think so? - I do.
I left it thinking, "I don't know how this ends,"
"but I think you guys should suffer."
There is a question that I enjoy asking the guests, which is-
Almost like I don't suffer enough! - No, no.
A show...
A show where you are the contestants. Just the two of you.
Ah, okay, okay.
And every contestant in here,
petting cats.
A question that I enjoy asking is, when you leave the tasks...
And now I'm actually asking, because you've already done them.
Did you think that: A) I won this! I did it really well.
Or B) I'm really dumb. I didn't did anything right. I want a do-over.
I always thinking, "What have I done?"
It's pretty much what I said,
when my wife told me she was pregnant.
Okay. - But the feeling was almost the same.
because it's like, "What happened?"
Did I do it right? Or wrong?
Raminhos, thank you for having accepted our invite.
An applause for António Raminhos!
Good evening Wandson. Good evening Gabriela. Good evening Cândido.
Good evening Madalena and Nuno.
It's a kind of tradition in our show,
to always start with objects that they've brought from home.
to satisfy a little whim of the Taskmaster.
And I must say that today you had a whim in your request, my dear.
We've asked our friends over here,
to bring the best gift for a doctor.
The best gift for a doctor.
Madalena. - Yes?
Best gift for- I'm really feeling confident.
You are? - You don't need to pull that face.
I'm curious to know what you've brought.
For starters, you never understand anything that medics say,
even less what they write.
They have beautiful handwriting, but it's like...
No-one can understand a thing they write.
My best gift to give to a doctor,
it's one of those books of calligraphy
that kids use to learn, but for doctors.
It sounds good. - A calligraphy book.
Well thought. - Nice one.
Do you think this prize task is mine?
By the way, do you have good handwriting? - No, you know why?
Because I think I'm left-handed.
Sorry! - Look, it's like,
my daughter is left-handed, my older one,
and I don't want to speak badly of the teachers in Alentejo,
but I attended primary school in Alentejo,
and I'm sure that I was forced,
they thought it always had to be with the right.
An applause for the perhaps left-handed Madalena Abecasis.
Cândido, what have you brought?
Vasco, friend, companion, buddy...
I...
When this task was given to me,
It's really easy this way. He's appealing to their friendship.
It is, isn't it.
'Buddy' is an everyday thing.
Speak! Say it at once!
I have to paint a picture, create a narrative.
I have this conviction that a good doctor wants garlic.
What?
Cock? ['caralho' meaning 'cock', sounds like 'quer alho' meaning 'wants garlic']
Wants garlic. - Ah, wants garlic.
It has three benefits.
For the health, it's measurable, this really does wonders.
You can cook with it.
The doctor want to be a good host, likes to show off his palace.
And finally, it's perfect to ward off vampires.
Right.
Thank you, Cândido.
Gabriela, paint your picture.
Vasco, Vasco, what have I brought today?
What have you brought, Gabriela?
Oh, I thought, I've empathised with all doctors that we know.
Friends, not friends, right?
And I commiserate with these people for whom the phone must not stop.
So I thought about a compendium of fast answers,
and basics for all doctors at home.
Well thought. - Kiss to all of them.
To everyday ailments.
Okay. A compendium of basic answers. - Does that exist?
No. - It exists.
It isn't there, but... - Look at her face,
It does exist. - Look at her face.
It exists that I've called Zé... João.
And he gave me all the answers really quickly.
Thank you, Gabriela Barros. Wandson.
Hi! I thought about something that was...
Every doctor has his office,
and I think it's important to give the doctor a painting.
So I made a painting and I've framed it,
and it's a 'stethoscopy'.
It's a photocopy of a stethoscope. ['estetoscópio' = 'stethoscope'; 'fotocópia' = 'photocopy']
Every doctor should have it in his office.
You wrote 'stethoscopy' wrong, didn't you? [it should be 'estetoscópia']
The 's' seems to be missing. - It's all a part of the narrative.
'Stethocopy'.
I was taught to write in Maranhão [Brazil], stop it.
An applause for Wandson Lisboa.
It's wrong. - It's 'stethocopy'.
Raminhos, what have you brought?
Look, I brought the health compendium
that every doctor uses,
and should use, and it's the Bible.
I brought a Bible.
Why the Bible?
Because I would love that.
I only brought this Bible because I was thinking that
I would love to give this to a doctor that Markl visits,
so that when Markl goes there in a hurry and says,
"Doctor, does my problem have a solution?",
he picks the Bible up and says: "Let me see, Jonas 23".
An applause for the Bible of António Raminhos.
I don't know how to dodge it, you all went full gas ahead.
I'll get one. - Let's award points.
I'll award... - I already know, I've seen it before.
It was already broadcast? - I rewatched on my TV box.
5 points to 'stethoscopy'.
4... to the book of ailments.
3 to the calligraphy.
I'll award 2 to the Bible, and a little one to Cândido Costa's garlic.
And that's how we're starting.
God doesn't... - You don't like garlic?
Doesn't. - Look.
I think he wants... - God is watching.
Our Lord Almighty is seeing this!
Good start. A very loose one.
We're already warmed up, so let's see today's first task
done by our five contestants inside my house.
Nuno, how do we start? Tell me.
Vasco, we, during our childhood,
were constantly confronted by the verb 'break', right?
Our father saying "Careful with the ball", "Careful with that glass".
Here on Taskmaster we don't say "Careful, look out!"
No, no, no. - Here we ask them to break.
We embrace the break.
We want to break out the news that I'll see you here.
[French accent] I'll see you here? - [French accent] I'll see you here.
[French] A mais bien sûr! [mocking Markl for sounding French]
[French] Bien sûr. - 'Pressez' le bouton, s'il vous plait!
[French accent] It's so stupid. The way that this...
This is well-sealed...
Why is it like that? Not funny.
Why is the envelope covered in tape?
I don't like surprises.
Always suspecting.
Something happened with the envelope?
I can't believe that you started recycling.
"Break something into the most parts possible."
"After that, fix it as it was before."
"You have five minutes to select your object,"
"three minutes to break it, and seven to fix it."
It was...
Someone broke the envelope as well.
Someone tore apart the...
How much time in total?
Five? Eight?
So, you're asking for the most pieces,
pompous stuff, I think,
and then later it has to be possible to rebuild it.
"Your time starts now."
Can I rip it?
[Raminhos reads the task again]
But, it isn't breaking, right?
It doesn't work.
If there are many broken pieces, the rebuild won't happen.
Good. Good.
How am I gonna break? - It already started.
So, five minutes to select the object.
I thought that were only three.
Because of my eloquence, the conversations and so on, right?
That answers itself.
So, breaking it is easy, but after that, how is it fixed again?
How am I gonna do that?
Ah, all this hassle.
Let me see it.
F#@k!
These guys are sick.
[applause]
So easy, everyone. So simple, isn't it?
Only two things.
Break, and fix it again.
So, who are we going to start with?
Let's start with Wandson and with Raminhos,
who even without talking to each other, paid homage
to the character of the great Laura Alves in the movie "O Leão da Estrela".
In the background, the maid who spent time saying "ai Aloysia".
She said...
Because of the plate. - And they did.
I think this one is the best solution,
because I think I can break and I can fix it.
So, let's do it!
Is there a hammer to use here?
Ah, and glue too.
What about now?
Damn, he couldn't put his thing in the plate.
I brought glue.
[Wandson laughs]
[laughter]
This guy didn't do that great.
[vase breaking noises]
My vase!
Oh, that's broke.
F#@k!
This here goes there...
This is here...
Where was it?
[laughter]
Ah! Here! Here, here, here!
Now this is here.
And this one? It goes here.
On this side, okay!
Now it works!
I didn't want to break with much force...
to not break it entirely.
And now it has some small bits, doesn't it?
This one goes there? Nope.
Dude, that's...
Look here!
It misses... Damn, it's only missing some bits.
Some bits? Half a plate?
Yeah...
Ah! Ah!
Why didn't you put glue? - I forgot.
Look here!
Look!
Look here!
Look!
Wait.
Almost there, almost there.
And you still cut yourself, man!
Ah, damn it, no.
I'm awful at puzzles!
[Raminhos sighs]
It's only missing a piece!
You stole the piece of the plate, right?
One...
Impeccable or not?
Look, are you seeing this?
Look, just one hand!
Now it's only this piece...
Here...
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait...
Wait, wait, wait, wait...
[laughter]
[blows whistle]
Ha?
Because it's by me, it's worthless.
If it was by Joana Vasconcelos, it'd cost 3 million. [Portuguese installation artist]
[laughter]
Doesn't break!
Ah, he is so soft, man!
Well done!
What a horror! - What a cheap plate!
My dear Wandson, it lacked glue, or was it just clumsiness?
No, I just figured out that it has tape. I didn't know, so it was clumsiness.
But you've become sad 'cause I know that you're a person who likes complete stuff...
Yes, I am Virgo, I'm pragmatic, organised, correct...
And I saw that broken thing, and I thought it was my heart.
So it becames a symbol.
Aww!
Raminhos, when you broke the plate and saw that thing
break into a hundred thousand pieces, did you think like, "I'm done"?
That's what I said, like, about the tasks, why?
Why'd I do that?
Didn't you think to break it in a way that's less...
But when you're there...
You don't think.
No, you don't think properly like you should do.
Let's get the results?
Yes, yes, let's do it.
Raminhos glued 17 pieces of the plate
and six tiny little pieces got scattered across the floor.
Liar!
Wandson, 12 pieces of the vase, but nothing glued.
Right?
He didn't complete the second part of the task, which was to fix it.
And now who'll we see?
Now it's Madalena Abecassis to tape stuff.
I did some shit.
I am very clever, and feel very sorry for all the other contestants,
because I'll break this tape, okay?
But I'll be breaking and fixing it at the same time.
So, I am saving some time.
One, two and three.
So, I am breaking it, as you can see,
I'm also explaining so that later you don't have to tell me that isn't like that.
And I am fixing at the same time.
Okay?
So, I am fixing at the same time as I am breaking.
It isn't breaking, is it? - Isn't breaking, or is it?
Is like putting clay above the table. - That is cutting, isn't?
Forget it, this is the best idea ever!
[laughter]
I am almost crying.
It's really difficult to compete with me.
And it's a little bit annoying, but it's done.
These one I am already used to it.
This one, he could say that this was to be in the roll, but no
because I'm breaking it, it couldn't be on the roll.
Okay? [laughter]
So, it wasn't on the roll.
So, I am taking it off, breaking it, and fixing it as it was before.
In a line.
And in a way, I could still put it on a roll,
but I think that it doesn't need to be perfect.
Three minutes to break and end the task. What does this even mean?
Three minutes to break... So to fix. It's already fixed.
I think I didn't think right.
I didn't think right. It doesn't matter.
Ta-daa!
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10,
11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20,
21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30.
30! Spectacular!
[applause]
Ah, I feel so stupid because...
I don't know if I did well.
Okay, but it can be better.
You feel so stupid.
Ah, damn, man!
Because you think you are doing well,
but you're not.
It's awful.
Why'd I stick this down so well?
It stays exactly as before.
It already was if it...
I look like a crazy person talking.
I thought I was being so clever.
But this programme really
shows how stupid a person really is.
So cool.
It shows their capacities...
Anyway.
Done.
It's so perfect!
What? - It's perfect!
You can stop the clock.
Damn!
It's over.
Right.
Ta-daa!
It look the same!
Perfect!
Now it worked.
Oh, my god!
The amount of emotions that she went through, right?
Why did you go back?
Because I started thinking
if it wasn't in the shape that it was in initially,
in a roll - even though I unrolled...
but when I first touched the object, it was in a roll.
Sure. - I am so sad.
I don't know if you are gonna consider that as 'breaking'.
I think there are many interpretations of 'break'.
I don't think it should be so literal.
I think that'd be so boring, if the programme...
Say it, Gabriela. Tell me.
I think it's so boring if the programme goes too literal.
This programme is not literal.
We only need to see Gabriela and Cândido's attempts.
Now I ask, are we going to see them one at a time or both together?
I decided to join them in the same VT...
It means 'videotape'.
They were miserable.
Because both worked with stuff provided by Mother Nature.
If Mother Nature is watching us,
I would like to say, my lady...
It's better to close your eyes for a little bit.
Oh, my god.
A tree trunk.
[Gabriela makes some weird noises]
Or breaking a table.
Tarzan...
Hey...
Asked for some exuberance in the parti- What?
There are hundreds of leaves. - Oh, look, Cândido!
What? Creativity! Creativity!
Looks the same!
Looks the same, or not?
This is being done by a professional. Calm down!
I spent some years in Belgium, as an immigrant.
Did this a lot at some big landlord's houses. Palm trees, coconut trees.
Coconut trees had to be done with an axe.
It isn't about time. I know I can do it.
If anyone needs it... Madalena, Gabriela,
Wandson too... I give my time.
With what? The remaining time?
"But how he can be so creative?"
"Where does he find all that creativity?"
"Is he born with it?"
I have seven minutes, so I have the luxury to run a few little tests.
I am so happy. Even you can notice that.
And now, how to fix it?
F@#!
Look, if it's not the same...
If this is not almost 1% the same...
Looks like you've eaten that.
Immigrant community...
I deprived people of gardening in England a lot with it.
They taught me to do the inverted mill.
Inverted mills...
Calm!
Oh my god!
I am here to participate, to have fun.
Is good that you don't forget that I won the first programme as a guest.
Don't need to rebuild everything.
That's not what it says.
It's the same! It's the same!
Oh! Oh, Palmeirim!
Is it the same or not?
Looks the same too!
After this, in the evaluation, just tell me,
if the upper part looks the same.
It is or is it not?
Ah, kicked the ball just to adjust it, right?
So take this palm then!
The top fell off, didn't it?
The top fell off.
Gabriela. - Ah?
Attention! Merit should be given to Gabriela Barros,
who chooses the tape in one colour.
Let's called it 'Lemon Twist'. - 'Lemon Twist'.
Right? - So, it can be.
That this can be taken into consideration. I tried really hard.
I also think that is a question of interpretation.
Of course it is. - Because they were really close.
Really close. Cândido, tell me about your experience
of dealing with Mother Nature.
I heard a very small sound coming from Cândido's throat.
No, Wandson said that he was a vigilant.
What?
Vigi-what? That you are?
Virgo, Virgo...
Virgo.
[laughter]
It's not vigilant!
I said nothing about vigilant.
Vigilant, it's nothing.
Okay, Virgo.
I am Taurus.
You'll see during this Taskmaster,
that I like to do big stuff.
You can do it, stop!
I am very happy, it's my task, attention.
The end fell off after the whistle.
Give me the numbers of Gabriela Barros.
Gabriela sliced five lemons.
None of them, I would say, with satisfactory results.
This isn't judged by you! - No, I'm just giving my opinion.
Calm down! - It's Vasco!
But in total it was 68 pieces of lemon,
between slices and a few cubes.
Ah! - Ah!
Thanks, my dear lady! - Thank you very much!
You're welcome!
That's what I was talking about! - That's it!
Look, do you have any numbers from that Katana experience?
I have some here, it's complex. 157 sliced leaves.
How many? - 157.
Okay, how many? - But only 38...
38 were reattached, from the 157 that he cut.
119 of them didn't go back to the branch.
It wasn't there.
Well, I have to say that the most important part of that was the rebuilding.
So, I'll be a little bit liberal, not so harsh...
Cut, tear apart, that...
I think everyone gave their maximum.
I'll have a few interpretations. [they talk over each other]
It's the good Vasco.
Kind Vasco. - So, Markl,
let's talk about the rebuild.
How many points to Wandson? - Wandson, 1 point.
2 points to... - To Cândido.
I was daring. I went all-in!
Damn, a great palm tree. - You should make a sprig, a flower.
Carry on, 3 points goes to...
3 points to Gabriela's lemons. - 4 points to...
To Raminhos. - And 5 points to...
Madalena Abecassis!
What?! - How is this even possible?
How's that possible?
The Taskmaster accepts the interpretation that she'd put...
It's good that she came back. If she hadn't, this couldn't happen.
She comes back and is able to put back those 30 pieces that she cut.
It was 'cut'! - Cut, broke...
No! - António Raminhos!
Don't take back my points.
You are a guest. Shut up!
Let's see how the points we just gave out
affect the current scoreboard of today's Taskmaster. Markl?
Madalena is in first place with 8 points,
after her is Gabriela with 7,
and then, tied with 6, Wandson and Raminhos,
and at the end with 3 points, Cândido.
A round of applause for our five!
I like it.
What do we have next? - We have a game.
Is it Scrabble? - No.
Monopoly? - No.
Cluedo? - No.
Battleship? - No.
Spin the Bottle? - No.
Wait, is it to find a certain person,
and do a certain thing with a certain part
of the body, inside a certain specific area?
Damn, you are a good guesser. - Damn.
Damn. Alright.
What's going on?
Let's go! - Hello there.
What are you watching? - I don't have hands.
All good? - All good.
There's a task, right?
Yes, there's a task.
This is an atypical scenario, right?
Where we are? - Yeah, it's atypical.
A more picturesque day.
"High-five..."
"...a 55-year-old person."
"Fastest wins. Your time starts now."
Can I keep adding people up?
That's it. - 55 years old, that's not my father's age.
Inside this area?
Yes, wherever you want.
Who is 55 years old?
Are you ready to run?
Run, Markl!
We're gonna start with Madalena and Wandson.
Who is 55 years old?
Look.. Look at the butterfly!
Good afternoon. How old are you?
Me? - Yeah.
Why do you want to know?
Come on, please, answer me.
How old do you think I am? - 55.
Add 10 more. - Oh, shucks.
But you look younger. - Thank you.
Yes sir, congratulations, congratulations, yeah yeah yeah.
Good afternoon. How old are you?
Hello, how are you?
Tell me! - 50.
Ahhhhh! - It's a lie.
Come on, tell me. - 52.
Damn it, I need 55. Thank you.
Hello, how old are you?
Me? 51.
Good, good.
Congratulations.
Good afternoon. How old are you?
Are any of you 55 years old?
More. - Oh, more.
Ah. - What a nuisance.
Not to be 55 years old?
Hello, how are you? How old are you?
Ahh, 59.
Good, congratulations.
How old are you? - He's so sweet.
Congratulations, well-lived.
I love his hands. He always goes like this.
I don't know what kind of person is 55.
It's a difficult age, isn't it? - It's awful!
There aren't many people here. There's nobody here. There's nobody here.
How old are you?
51.
[Wandson sighs exasperatedly]
Good afternoon. Are you 55, by any chance?
No, I'm 53.
So close, damn it! - It was close! Thank you.
If you're 55 years old, you'll get a hug!
55!
Who is 55 years old?
I don't know what to do.
Someone will turn up! - Markl, I'm about to cry.
Are you 55 years old?
23.
Wow, what a beauty. You slay, wonderful.
Good afternoon. Are you 55 by any chance?
No? Damn, I'm always close, why?
Is anyone 55 years old? 55 well-lived years?
Everyone, you can lie. Nobody will know.
Good afternoon.
Are either of you 55 years old?
I am. - High five me!
No, high five me! Don't worry!
This gentleman is 55!
Good night, good afternoon, good morning!
How old are you guys?
Do you want to guess? - 55!
55!
That would be good.
You're not 55, are you?
[laughter]
If anyone is 55 years old, please save me, for god's sake!
55 years old.
Is anyone 55 years old?
Let's go somewhere else.
What?
I am.
Are you? Are you?
Are you serious?
Show me your ID.
Wow, this is really tough.
You had a good race, yeah, yeah.
I'm drained.
Emotionally devastated.
But you have triumphed.
I triumphed.
Very well-lived, with a beautiful family.
Give me one... High-five me, and a hug.
Thank you, everyone. - Thank you.
Madalena... - Yes, love?
Is this your kind of task? - No, I hate it.
Why? - For a start, I don't like shouting.
What?! - And then...
approaching people like this seems annoying. I don't like it.
Social media is easier, isn't it? - It's much easier.
Unlike you, I think this is Wandson's territory.
I loved it.
Look, do you realise you're running with your arms open?
Man, it's awful.
It's like you're always crossing a finish line, right?
Yes, I've just recorded a series for RTP Play
I didn't know I was on-screen, and the character had to be walking more serious.
I was on-screen and I ran like that. No, really.
Then I realised that I run like this. - Markl, results.
Madalena did it in... - 20 minutes.
4 minutes and 35 seconds. - 4 minutes?
Ah, it seemed ages to me. - For me too, Madalena.
Wandson did it in 6 minutes and 47 seconds.
After Madalena and Wandson,
who are we going to see looking for a 55-year-old, Markl?
We'll see António Raminhos, a man who gave everything,
and when it didn't work out, he wanted me to give something too.
Let's go! Run, run.
What, are we going to do this running? - How old are you?
How old are you? Tell me, how old are you?
We're going to steal, we're going to steal. - 60.
How old are you? - 59.
Ah, damn, why aren't you 55?
Are you 55? - That's it.
55! high-five, high-five me!
55!
Is he 55? - He says he's 55.
Man, he's not 55.
You're 55, aren't you?
Boy, that was a long time ago.
How old are you? - 61.
61? You see, Markl?
That's the way a person should look at 61.
Yes, he's impeccable. - Not with this...
Not with this aspect.
Where's the information centre here?
I don't know. I'm not familiar with it.
But we have to find the information centre.
Do you think someone at the information centre
is going to tell you where the 55-year-olds are?
No, I'm going to talk through the speakers,
to say that I want a 55-year-old person.
Hello, good afternoon.
I need a 55-year-old person.
55-year-old person!
Would anyone aged 55 be so kind or able to help me?
I really continue to thank anyone who is kind enough or able to help me.
A 55-year-old, the first 55-year-old person to come up to me,
Nuno Markl will give them 20 euros.
No, no. - 20 euros.
20 euros for a 55-year-old and there goes one.
20 euros. There's nobody.
I only have a card. - Wait a minute.
[siren noises]
Let's go, Markl.
Good afternoon, pal. How old are you?
52.
A 55-year-old person.
55-year-old. I need a 55-year-old person,
to give 20 euros, offered by Nuno Markl.
How old are you pal?
How old are you?
Me? 52.
Ah, that was close.
Three more years.
How old are you? - Six.
It doesn't work. I was trying to add up 52 with his and it doesn't work.
It's impossible.
I'm giving up. Can I give up?
Can I take a photo? - Okay!
Let's go. - Take it.
And you don't have anyone aged 55?
Don't forget that the clock is ticking.
But people are important. - Here.
People are always important. - Of course.
More than... I can't find anyone older than 55.
Ask inside there.
Are you 55 years old?
Really?
I'm serious. - Really?
She is 55!
High-five me!
Thank you very much. - You're welcome.
Do you want to take a photo? Let's take a picture.
Let's do it.
What about the 20 euros? - What about the 20 euros?
You want a photo? 5 euros each, 5 euros each.
You're negotiating.
♫ Walking along the cobbled streets... ♫
There's a will in this task, right Raminhos?
You know I'm very used to performing on stages,
but on the street it's different.
I see. - I don't like bothering people either.
On stage people come to see you, here it's different.
You're the one coming to them, right?
When I go out on the street, I'm doing my thing.
You know what I mean? - How long do you think it took you?
I think it was around 25 minutes.
Raminhos took 10 minutes and 37 seconds.
Sorry.
We still have to see how Gabriela and Cândido Costa performed.
Yes, precisely Vasco, Gabriela Barros and Cândido Costa,
a collective that I named 'Gabrido Bosta'. ['bosta' means 'turd']
[laughter]
I'm so sorry. - "Gabrido Bosta"?
I'm so sorry. - Did we hear that?
I'm so sorry. - "Gabrido Bosta"?
I liked it. - "Barros Costa"? "Barros Costa"?
I liked it. I liked it too, but "turd"?
I'm so sorry. Just take it, guys, just take it.
Let's watch.
Is anyone 55 years old?
55, really!
Anyone who's 55, please?
You'll receive a T-shirt and a photo.
Hello, good afternoon.
Excuse me, you're not 55, are you?
That would be nice.
That would be nice, miss.
Is anyone 55 years old?
You'd have been born in 1968.
Great.
Hello, good afternoon. Nobody here is 55, are you?
No, you're not.
Okay.
You're not 55, ma'am. How old are you?
Well, I feel like we're never going to get out of here, are we?
Who here is 55 years old?
You'll win a T-shirt, and a photo with Nuno Markl.
55 years old! Is anyone 55?
Do you feel like you're going crazy?
People are looking at you. - I don't want to play this.
Who's 55?
Are you, really?
Oh ma'am, are you 55?
High-five me! Are you serious?
Yes! I won the competition!
It's here! It's here.
Were you born in '68? Yes But you've already turned 55? Yes
Yes! What's your name?
You were very quick!
Because of you I had a very good result!
Well, well, well.
Wait a minute!
The crew is admissible, right? - Huh?
Well, is anyone here 55 years old?
Thank you, Teresinha. - That's all, thank you very much.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Thank you.
What about the T-shirt? - Here's the T-shirt!
It's here.
Here's the T-shirt. My Cândido Costa T-shirt, look.
For the camera.
And that's how you win a Teresinha in this life.
So to speak! It's a memento.
Are you 55?
Look at them hiding. Look at them hiding.
Are you 55?
Are you? Are you 55?
He looks very sad.
Are you 55?
Júlio, you look suspiciously like you've just turned 55.
[Gabriela yells happily]
Did Júlio turn 55?
I can't believe I don't have to run in the gym.
Everyone else took a long time to finish the task.
What was my strategy?
Vehemence.
Tons of vehemence.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Verbalisation.
At one point, I saw you standing slightly away from yourself,
and you looked like a madman.
Then I started putting question marks. People wondering who's who.
Who isn't? Are they good people? We can verbalise it.
And these good people come along, this soul.
And I do a job, that I consider...
Mind you, the Taskmaster is sovereign in these matters.
Yes, yes. - But...
Excellent!
The whole team is proud, just look. - It's true.
"We hired the right person."
I won the show!
The whole show? Okay, okay, okay.
I want Vasco's bust!
Bye, everyone.
Thank you.
I like seeing you proud.
That was bombastic.
I have a question.
Do you always have your T-shirt with you...
I don't know where he got it.
...ready to give to people who are 55, is that it?
That one's gone, but I have four more.
Day-to-day life, coffee chats...
"Ah, you reached my heart, let me go to the bag over there."
Here you go.
And the front of the shirt is what?
Belenenses? [Portuguese football club]
Neutral, so there's no conflict. It only says "Cândido Costa".
Only the number changes.
Very well.
And we had Gabriela Barros.
I think, above all, the celebration wasn't even about...
the fact that the task had been accomplished.
The party was, "I don't have to run around Freeport".
Thank god, I understand. I sympathise once again.
This great word. - You're being very sympathetic.
...of the suffering of my colleagues. It's the most terrible thing.
People don't want to take part in your little programme.
Without naming them, just say the times.
Okay. One person did it in 1 minute and 39 seconds.
The other person did it in 1 minute and 18 seconds.
Wow! Heyey! - Wow!
Ah! - Sorry, what did you say?
Heyey!
The person who did it in 1 minute and 18 seconds was...
Cândido. - Nooo!
[impromptu Michael Jackson impression]
Victory dance, a good victory dance. - I was very fast.
55? 55? 55?
The people be like... "What?"
And so let's give points, Nuno Markl.
5 points for Cândido.
4 points for Gabriela.
3 points for Madalena. - We're good. We're good.
2 points for Wandson.
And 1 point for Raminhos.
Let's hear it for these detectives!
And the points from this 'High-Five' task will, of course,
be added to the points already awarded.
Markl, how are the rankings at the moment?
Gabriela and Madalena are tied on 11 points,
Cândido and Wandson are tied on 8 points,
and Raminhos is back there with 7.
My dear Nuno, what follows on the Task-tasting menu
of this 5-star restaurant that is Taskmaster?
Well, we already prioritise simplicity,
For instance, 'Put it back together again',
We also have 'Find and high-five a 55-year old',
How about now we have one of those old-school Taskmaster tasks
that melts our contestants’ brains?
Let's go!
Hello.
[Wandson laughs] Hi.
Welcome.
[Raminhos coughs]
[cough]
It smells of glue.
Doesn't look like it's related to the task.
[laughter]
♫ I can see clear now the rain is gone ♫
♫ I can see all life in down in my hands ♫
[they all laugh and speak at the same time]
It hasn't started yet. - It hasn't started yet? Good.
Were you singing? - Yes.
How are you, Little Nuno?
Everything's good.
Ah, I don't know what to say. - And the things that'll take time.
Oh, when there's so many words together, it's so upsetting.
What are your first impressions?
Fear.
A lot of fear.
I'm afraid of this room.
"Get this rice into the bottle in the living room."
The living room?
The living room.
It'll start...
That... on the other side?
Yes.
First I need to find where the bottle is.
Okay? I'll figure it out.
"You may only use the shopping basket"
"and its contents to transport and deliver the rice."
And its contents?
I didn't figure out the task yet.
"You may not touch the rice with anything other"
"than the shopping basket and its contents."
"You may not take the bottle out of the living room."
Where's the bottle?
In the living room. - Is it inside you?
"The most grains in the bottle wins."
"You have 10 minutes. Your time starts now."
Where is the bottle?
Is this a bottle? Seriously, in Portugal's Portuguese, is this a bottle?
It is a jar with honey.
Let me think a bit.
[Gabriela giggles]
[applause]
That mound of rice that was on the table,
The mission was to put that mound, or as much as rice possible,
Inside a bottle that Gabriela Barros
thought could be inside you.
In which part of you, my god?
What do you do when you're not with me?
And you couldn't touch the rice with your hands.
Yes, exactly that.
Where did the bottle always have to be? - Always in the living room.
In the living room.
Where did the bottle have to be? - [audience] In the living room!
Thank you very much. - Oh, very clever all of you.
I would like to see you do it.
Who do we start with?
We'll start with Madalena and Raminhos.
She, at one point, was very angry.
And he, at one point, made me deaf.
Here it is.
I can touch this, can't I?
Yes, yes.
Can I touch the rice? - No.
What if the bottle is inside the rice?
Oh, so stupid! - IT'S IN THE LIVING ROOM!
There could be a mini-bottle.
It could be like a miniature bottle. - Yes, clearly.
I can hear the cogs in your brain working.
I don't have cogs... - No?
...in my brain. - And what do you have?
Nothing.
Ugh, so annoying.
Maybe.
But...
What is it? Tell me, help me.
"You may not take the bottle out of the living room."
Where is the bottle?
Why can I only hear "take it from the living room"?
I don't know!
It will burst in your face.
[balloon bursts]
[laughing] I'm deaf now! - That was so loud!
So loud!
Hang on, I just got dizzy because of that!
Me too! Me too!
It's like we went through an explosion.
I can't hear anything right now.
Yes, the bottle is in the room, so I can't remove it from the room.
But there's a point that it has to be noticed.
Aaaaaaaah! What is it?
Tell me!
What was your idea? - My idea was for this to be wider.
And I'd do like, a bed.
It doesn't stretch a lot!
Houses have many rooms, don't they?
Yes. Oh, is this not the living room?
This is the lab.
Damn it!
Why did you put random stuff in here?
Like, just throw some crap in there...
I'm sure you're able. - And let them f...
Think of stuff.
What? - Two mangoes.
Ugh really?
No, the bottle can't leave this room, don't forget that...
Seriously? - No! That wasn't me!
Okay.
Oh, so horrible, so stupid!
I don't remember that! - Can't you read?
Shut up! - You have to read.
Fine.
And now I'm getting nervous.
Ah, clever, hey?
I'm doing well, aren't I?
There are many ways to do this, sure.
But for me this is the most basic one.
I think I'll throw the honey away.
Can I put it here?
Yes. Looks like you can.
Please. "The living room".
I don't know what you name the spaces.
Yes, you're right.
You're right.
Yes, sir. And good point.
I'm throwing more on the floor than in here, aren't I?
I'm very good at these kind of things.
Crafts... - Crafts, anything like that.
Bricolage. - And gardening.
Okay.
I really appreciate your faith in that burst balloon.
If I did it, it has to be for something, right? - Sure, sure, sure.
Okay? - Three minutes.
[pouring rice]
I have forgotten something. - Hmm?
The rice sticks to the honey.
Yes.
You're very impressed, aren't you?
Oh yes, I am, I am.
Fuck, he's so thorough! - The patience on that man!
Raminhos is a perfectionist!
A paste!
Five seconds...
Four... Three...
Two... One...
[whistles]
Okay, okay.
In Vietnam, they mix an Asian wasp's honey with rice.
It's over.
What do you think?
It's perfect.
Isn't it?
Raminho, you...
There was a child-like logic there that was
"I've burst the balloon, now I will use it".
Of course, but in my head
I was gonna burst the balloon,
and I'd be able to stretch that out,
put it underneath...
And make a little bed, yes?
Make a little bed and take the rice.
The explosion was so loud, so loud.
Didn't work 'cause it only made sense in my mind.
Like a lot of the things we think, right? - Like many things in my life.
Oh, Madalena!
Yes, I had difficulties realising what was the living room.
I think the whole world noticed that. - It happens.
Right?
By the way, it was written that it was in the room.
Thank you, Raminhos.
Isn't it amazing that a guest, an outsider,
knows about the living room,
unlike our contestants who are here. - But we've been tortured for days.
Exactly!
Madalena didn't realise the bottle was in a different room of my house.
Obviously, I now ask you, Markl,
Madalena was the only one making that mistake, right?
Ah...
As if it was possible, for more people sitting in front of us
to mistake a lab for a living room.
So, let us throw some names at random.
For instance, Wandson and Cândido.
Cândido? When?
You, please sometimes... When you're trying to be, I mean...
Fine, now. Let's go.
First thing is to find a bottle.
Isn't it? - Yes.
Can I climb on you, to see if it's up there?
We hardly see each other, anyway... - Ah!
No bottle here, none. - Where is the bottle?
I have to look, if it's part of the task. - Isn't in the living room?
It's in the living room. - Yes.
There's a big question here, isn't it?
What is a living room? Right?
The living room... Ah! In the living room!
Where's the living room? There at the back.
[Wandson laughs]
[laughter]
Where is the living room?
[door unlocks]
Oh, they do like to play with people
But can I take the bottle?
No, no, don't do it, don't do it, don't take it, don't take it,
don't take it! - It said, it said...
No, it said I can't touch the rice.
But I can touch the bottle.
Damn it, Cândido!
[Wandson giggles]
I don't see what's so hard about it.
I don't see it. It's only to tire us out.
The envelope was right there.
Really?
"You may not take the bottle out of the living room."
F#@ck!
I'm so embarrassed when that happens.
I'm so stupid. - It happens to everyone.
I'll just take it back and hope it will go unnoticed.
Seriously, man?
It was written there, it was there.
If you had paid attention, now you have to run about.
I'll end up losing weight here.
Are you laughing?
What are you doing?
I'm frightened. I have a phobia of bursting balloons.
I'll make a balloon bed.
And not a floor?
This will be a glorious task.
I died there, in the reading.
Full of eloquence, of wordplays, of puns.
I went straight in.
It said "You can't touch the bottle".
What did I do? - Indeed.
The mockery is already in play.
But were you the only one?
Maybe there was someone else?
I have high hopes on Watson. - Well, we will see.
"Watson"! "Watson"!
Why is he eating the mango?
Is it good?
Oh my god! - Just craziness, like.
I was already in another vibe, guys.
[laughter]
He's such a brute!
Okay.
Welcome to the show "Cooking with Wandson".
[laughter]
[Wandson giggles]
[Markl and Wandson laughs]
There was only one!
You're only throwing there.
[whistles]
It's over.
What a shitty day for me.
It's not going well? - F***!
[whistles]
Time's up.
It's really bad, isn't...
No, I've seen... - Always everything backwards.
I've seen worse.
I'm very upset with the whole
"Don't take the bottle", "I'm taking the bottle" thing.
Reading is crucial.
Well done, Wandson.
Embarrassing.
Even so, it wasn't easy to bring that much rice.
Now, let's see if the Taskmaster will appreciate
all the hard work, eh?
Or maybe, the willpower, the passion, the inner child.
Yes, yes.
The commitment to the show, you know?
Yes, that's it.
Bye Nuno. Thank you.
I'll see you later.
Bye, Cândido. Thank you. - So awful.
I didn't remember that I did that badly.
Were you genuinely that upset with yourself because of the bottle?
I didn't understand the task. I'm very sad.
I really am. There's not even a pay-off.
I was there saying how much I delivered, but there wasn't anything.
It got you down from the off.
I thought I'd fill it up so much more.
But why was the balloon inside...
I didn't blow a lot. I wanted the balloon to fill up.
But why? - To fill up.
But how would it do that, love? - Look at the shape.
Also, the balloon instantly flew off, you had even left the lab.
Because I didn't blow a lot. If it was Raminho's balloon...
But why make the plastic bed? - I wanted to be like this, like a shoerack.
But why? - To support the rice.
Ah, like a cup, okay.
But the problem was I had holes down the sides.
Yes you did. - I had to keep watch of the edges.
When Cândido realised he took the bottle, he was sad.
When Wandson realised he took the bottle,
he just started laughing.
So I ask, is this a normal reaction from you?
I'm just really dumb
I wonder if Gabriela quickly noticed that the living room was, the living room,
and not the lab?
Oh, she's brilliant. - I did!
Did you? - Yes.
Of course.
As if it was possible for someone else sitting in front of me
to mistake a lab for a living room.
Of course not.
You mean Gabriela... Has it ever happened, Vasco?
[laughter]
Honestly, you sometimes...
I didn't think he'd get up...
I was gonna put a camera on my toe, I thought it'd be more.
But there's only 10 minutes, only 10. I'm too relaxed.
A bottle, this, none of this is a bottle. - Yes, yes. No, no.
Maybe this should be in the living room.
[grunts]
[screams]
Does this count?
That's not the living room.
This is the living room, isn't it?
I'm very short and I'm very pregnant.
How do I jump and check that it's not up there?
But maybe, there are questions that should be asked,
different from the ones you're asking right now.
A house has many rooms, doesn't it?
But the living room is the living room.
[screams]
This isn't the living room!
[screams]
[laughter]
[screams]
Where is it?
Oh, that's why you were all in the hallway.
No!
Oh, I didn't remember that!
Hello there!
I feel like I'm doing that sport where they don't run, but also don't walk.
Yes. - You know?
But...
"You may only use the shopping basket..."
I can only use the thingies.
All the information is on the task.
No! "You may not take the bottle out of the living room!"
Here!
[screams]
Ah! No!
MOVE!
"MOVE!"
[grunts]
Ah! - Jesus!
No!
Oi, oi, oi.
You can't, Gabriela.
She's doing a worse job than me.
"You may not touch the rice."
No! No!
Ah! I'm gonna win!
[grunts]
[pouring rice]
Oh, see!
I'm not thinking straight.
No!
Ah, no, it's okay, okay.
I thought it'd be so much better.
It looks like I'm doing witchcraft, doesn't it?
[whistles]
No! - It just ended.
It was going so well.
You ran a lot.
[applause]
The Gabriela that's here,
was talking to that Gabriela that was there,
as if it was not the same Gabriela.
Yes, that's true. - No!
You idiot!
Let's all see the collage of pictures.
So, Raminhos touches the rice with his hands.
But that's light. I didn't touch the bottle.
It's a mistake orgy.
But I'm not touching the bottle.
However, the bottle had already been transported.
Maybe it was Markl.
I'm not touching it. It's the only thing not shown in the evidence.
But look how happy and smiley I am. - I was just given the bottle.
We have Wandson's bottle and we also have the funnel which we've seen
couldn't be made because the task wasn't in the basket.
And now? - We're only missing...
Gabriela. - Gabriela.
You did your best, Gabriela. - It wasn't her.
But we'll take only one moment from Gabriela Barros.
For example, I don't know, this one.
Oh, it's not her!
Gabi isn't like that.
However, since they all broke the rules,
we'll do like a double negative, okay?
One annuls the other.
Since no-one here didn't break the rules,
they all broke them, so I'll give points,
based on rice grains inside the bottle.
We did an equivalence between weight and grains of rice.
Yes, you can do that conversion.
So with 28 grains of rice, Wandson.
On the top! - Wandson with 28.
Nice one, darling!
With 3,817 grains of rice... - Seriously?
Someone counted the grains of rice.? - Cândido
Three thousand and how many? - 3,817.
That's very high. - It's a lot of rice.
It is a lot of rice. - Isn't it?
Was Helena the one that had to count? - And no honey.
With 4,551, Gabriela.
Ah! I did really well.
Really well. - And then they do the sum, divide up...
With 7,895, Raminhos.
António Raminhos, almost eight thousand.
And now only Madalena left. - 10,040.
Madalena, how many grains? - 10,042.
Like that even I can do it.
You're on my team! - Yes, but now I'm upset with you.
Oh, Madalena, you managed to get 21,893 grams.
Grains of rice. - So, points from 1 to 5.
Wandson, 1 point. - Sorry, I'm over it now.
Yeeeah! - Cândido, 2 points.
3 points to Gabriela.
4 points to Raminhos.
And 5 points go to Madalena.
And let's see how these scores affect the overall scoreboard.
Nuno, how are we doing? - No...
No! No!
Right now, Madalena takes the lead with 16 points,
Then Gabriela with 14.
In the middle is Raminhos with 11,
then Cândido with 10 points, and Wandson at the bottom with 9.
Very well!
On to the next one, Nuno. What's next?
The Taskmaster has asked for help
from these five to build
the perfect alarm clock.
Oh god!
Coming in with energy. Coming in strong...
God, I feel loose today.
So many people watching me.
"Markl is sleeping in the caravan."
[Raminhos laughs]
"Create the best alarm to wake him."
"Most creative alarm wins."
"You have 30 minutes. Your time starts now."
Is Markl there already?
And I can... I can use what I want.
Right?
We can't do physical stuff, I can't hit him with a hammer.
Can I?
Can I ask people to come?
I feel very confident.
Does anyone have 600 euros?
[laughter]
Create the best alarm?
Ah!
I've got it!
It'll work, it'll work, it'll work.
[applause]
Aren't I a great pal, Nuno Markl?
I make tasks that you can nap through,
and tell the country
that you wear a sleeping mask,
violet trousers with circles on them, and crocs.
Whose alarm clock shall we see first?
We're starting with Wandson's alarm.
And what I saw,
I can't unsee.
[laughter]
I'll wake him up alright.
[laughter]
What's that drawing?
It's Maria Vieira.
Ah, it's Maria Vieira! [actor turned right-wing politician]
Hey man!
No, no.
Yes, yes.
Good morning!
[Markl laughs]
Come closer, Markl!
[honking]
Good morning!
You're a great friend of mine!
Good morning, Markl! - This is scary!
This is scary.
Good morning!
This is scary!
Come with me, come closer!
[honking]
Come, Markl!
Come with me. What a beautiful day!
My friend!
What a beautiful day!
Take my hand! Shake my hand!
Good morning, Markl!
You are so esteemed! Good morning, my dear!
It's Maria Vieira.
[laughter]
I love you, Markl! I love you!
You're amazing, talented comedian, amazing!
I love your work! Dear, you're amazing! - Thank you, thank you.
Come with me, let's go!
Alright, darling.
You can always call me.
[laughter]
At first I thought that was my phone, and now this was my phone cover.
It's not. Let's go.
Rise and shine, Markl.
[honking]
Rise and shine!
Wonderful, wonderful.
Oh dear. Easy, easy.
They brought funk here, Markl! Funk!
They did, they did.
[applause]
This dog... - I thought it was brilliant at the time.
[laughter]
So Wandson, you opted for Maria Vieira.
Yes, Maria Vieira dancing Brazilian funk.
You thought it was the best way to wake Nuno Markl.
Yes, to open her mind to Brazilian culture.
Very well. Next up is...
Next up an alarm clock by...
António Raminhos.
[laughter]
Oh, dear lord.
I hear sounds.
[Markl laughs]
[laughter]
Whisper in his ear! Whisper in his ear!
Wake up, wake up.
Thank you, thank you!
"Thank you, thank you!"
Rub him down! Rub him down!
That's it!
[laughter]
That's it, that's it!
Listen, thanks a lot, thanks a lot.
That's it!
Raminho, that's disgusting!
Raminho, is this turning you on?
Yeah, keep going!
Yeah!
Make sure he's wide awake.
Whisper into his ear, "Wake up Markl". - Wake up, Markl.
I'm awake, thanks.
Indeed.
Thanks a lot.
Thanks, thanks. - Who's your buddy?
Thank you, Raminhos. Nice way to wake up.
Thanks, thanks to you too.
Thanks. - Pleasure.
Thanks to all cast and crew.
Please use our services.
We have male and female wakers.
Really? - Yes, yes.
So you're starting a company? - Yes.
You go to the site, choose your model...
...and we drop by. - I see, I see.
Do you come with your hat?
With all of it? - Me, I'm...
For me you gotta pay extra. - Okay, I get it.
Thanks.
Thanks, it was a pleasure. - Thanks.
[applause]
Nuno Markl's discomfort!
This was all very strange.
Raminhos, for kids who love Taskmaster,
and watch this show...
She's a dancer. - ...I ask, "who is this lady?"
She's a dancer.
A dancer. - Who dances.
Who are we going to see wake you next, dear Nuno?
Witness Madalena Abecasis, who also didn't want to wake me on her own.
[Madalena giggles]
I'm scared I'll pee myself.
[laughter]
[Markl yells]
He's already awake! Shut up.
Are you asleep or... Are you a mouse or a man?
I've never felt this terrified.
Oh, everything's alright.
Ah! - No, the alarm hasn't rung yet
Damnit, they're putting things on me.
Is this alive? What is this?
What is this?
What can I? What...?
Wake up!
[Markl laughs]
It's breakfast time, darling!
God that was terrifying! - Okay! Have a nice day, darling!
Thanks. - Bye bye.
Poor guy.
I feel sorry for him.
[applause]
We only have Cândido Costa and Gabriela Barros' alarms left.
Cândido Costa, a man who on Channel 11,
telling football stories on the show Sagrado Balneário,
showed a little-seen side of himself.
And tonight he's showing yet another side of himself,
which maybe no-one's seen before,
but which I think everyone will enjoy.
Well, I enjoyed it. Let's go.
[guitar solo]
[laughter]
Come, Constantino, it's playtime.
Go, go hunt.
Go hunt, Constantino!
Poor fella.
He's sleeping.
Poor fella.
He must be so hungry.
Poor fella.
Poor fella must be exhausted.
You've been building LEGOs all night again.
[laughter]
You can't go to bed so late.
Oh my god!
My god!
Poor fella's all tuckered out.
Staying up all night
with the radio.
It's the traffic.
[Markl sighs]
I brought you some milk.
I've got some LEGOs for us to play.
[Markl laughs]
I have to put my glasses on for this!
[Markl laughs]
I can't work like this.
I can't sleep!
[laughter]
Drink your milk.
I'm scared.
Uncle Cândido is here. - Yeah?
For us to play with.
"For us to play with"?
What's up?
Thank you.
You deserve it all.
Thank you, Cândido.
I can't hurt you.
[laughter]
Are these your after-work clothes?
It was to scare you, but then I saw you were all sleepy,
and I wanted to give you the wake-up you deserve.
You're a good man, Nuno.
I only ask you to promise me one thing.
Stop playing LEGOs 'til late.
I'll stop playing LEGOs 'til late.
[laughter]
[applause]
Constantino's here. You can greet him outside.
Have a shower, put on some deodorant and start the day.
Who's Constantino? - My dog.
Constantino's at the door.
Look Constantino, it's Uncle.
Look Constantino, it's uncle Markl.
He doesn't bite, does he? - No, no.
This is the worst image ever shown on television.
I don't know what happened here!
Does this count as a task?
I feel like I'm asleep, this is a dream, it's not really happening.
It seemed like a great plan on paper.
Oh well.
He's giving me the side-eye.
Jeez, I'm not scared of dogs.
I love dogs.
Something's gonna happen.
No.
You're crazy. His trainer's right there.
He's gonna yell "attack!".
Wait, do you know what it is? - Huh?
He's not used to it, I forgot to tell him.
Constantino, come!
Constantino, no!
Come.
Well okay then, in that case!
[laughter]
Stay where you want to, we'll talk tomorrow.
Sending you a hug.
A hug and a napkin, shit...
Did you see that? Nearly took my finger off!
Careful, you'll get hurt. - This is falling apart.
I'll help you, come here.
I'm getting hurt! - Where?
On your neck!
Are you okay? - I'm okay now, I'm okay.
I'm okay now, I'm okay.
We're together. - Yes, we are.
We're together.
Don't you want a bath?
I don't think I've ever been more terrified in my life.
I wanted to spare you, give you a sweet awakening.
Yes, yes, yes.
[applause]
Hours of terror.
What a beautiful sight.
The image of virility.
Yes, sir.
You know it's not Constantino I think of?
No, no, man.
At some point it started to be about Constantino.
Yes.
Both me and the owner thought we'd get some flesh ripped off.
So...this wasn't the plan, was it?
I was planning a Mad Max entrance,
with the dog.
The dog would be with me and he'd wake up and...
The dog in there would be very dangerous.
And I would turn this Mad Max
into a sweetheart, and I'd give him milk.
But when I came and saw the trousers- I hadn't seen him yet...
I saw those buttoned-up trousers...
and because I heard the dog, I thought he was inside.
I lost all focus.
The only thing left is to see how Gabriela Barros woke Nuno up.
What's this?
What is this?
No!
He's gonna see the machine.
[Markl laughs] No!
I'm so scared.
Good lord, what is this?
I'm dreaming.
[fire truck siren sounds]
Can I look?
Wake up, Markl!
Wake up!
[Gabriela yells to wake Markl up] [Markl laughs]
[fire truck siren sounds]
WAKE UP, MARKL!
[laughter]
Wake up!
Wake up, Nuninho!
Taskmaster's on today!
What are you doing hiding in there?
Just hiding away?
Are you awake or not?
What a moment!
It's time to work! It's time to work!
Leave!
I'm exhausted.
This is very tiring.
What happened there? - I don't know, I gotta ask...
At any point before the tap turned on,
did you think, "No, this is too much"?
No.
Well now, Markl, I mentioned a surprise...
And here's the surprise: I'm not handing out points.
It's Nuno Markl. - Sure.
I'll start from the lowest to the highest rated.
Okay. - I have to give Madalena 1 point.
One for Madalena. - Yes.
Raminhos was interesting, he was innovative,
but since more innovative things came next,
2 points to Raminhos.
But you know I know where you live,
and that lady's coming to your house.
And you're gonna break my knees.
Wandson's impersonation goes in the middle...
So three for Wandson? - Yes.
Four and five. - 4 points
I'll award 4 points to...
Cândido Costa's strange experience.
Okay. - And so, 5 points
to Gabriela's firefighter mission
because the entrance of the fire truck was spectacular.
It was very unpleasant, but it was interesting, it was very beautiful.
So we have to add these points to the score.
So how are things at this stage, Nuno Markl?
Who's leading? - I win!
This is how it stands.
Gabriela's ahead with 19, then Madalena with 17,
Cândido with 14, Raminhos with 13 points,
and Wandson with 12 points.
Applause! - Well I'm not winning.
I'm not winning.
What's the next task?
Vasco, I picture you in primary school...
I picture you playing ball with your friends in recess.
I used to love riding the seesaw.
The seesaw? - The seesaw!
The long board with two kids on it,
one at each end, and it goes up and down...
And the person goes "seesaw, seesaw".
I can see what inspired this task,
you seesaw boy.
The seesaw. - Let's have a look.
What's that?
Is this the circus?
What's this contraption?
Do I go up?
How's it going, Nuno?
How's the family?
They're fine.
How are you?
Do you come here a lot? - I do.
How are you? - Well, thanks.
No need to read, I know it!
I can see it. - Can you?
Yes.
[Wandson laughs]
"Balance Markl on his seesaw."
Oh, it's you. I thought I had to balance myself!
"You have 15 minutes to place the weights of your choice on the other end."
You might get hurt.
"You can't use people to balance Markl."
Define "people".
People with heads, arms, legs.
Okay.
"Best Markl balancer wins."
What do you weigh?
Well now...
Ashamed to say?
"Your time starts now."
Wait!
You're gonna be there?
Have a seat, love.
No, I can only sit when it's over.
You're not even gonna see that.
I'll test it and you'll only see if you've won in the studio.
[applause]
Who do we start with?
Let's start with Raminhos, Madalena, Gabriela and Wandson.
Can't you help? Bring me some stuff?
Not really. - Oh, come on!
No. - Come, you're not doing anything.
It's nice here in the shade.
Let me check one thing.
Wait.
If I wasn't pregnant I'd try to pick you up.
Don't make yourself heavy! - No.
"Make yourself heavy"! - You'll get a...
Wait.
I just want to know your weight, roughly.
One, two, three!
F#@$ing heavy!
How much do you weigh?
You'll break your back.
I can't do it!
Each leg is a human being. - You wouldn't think!
Rafa, Rafa. - Rafa's gonna pick me up?
No, no... - It's just for him to have a measure, okay?
It looks like he knows, no?
You already know more or less, right?
The sustainability of this is strange...
But you can tell Rafa to carry stuff.
Yes, yes.
That's it! F*ck, I need something heavier.
This is light. This is way too light.
If I weighed that, I don't think Rafa would be running like that carrying me.
Was that supposed to happen?
Well, physics dictates.
I really didn't think you'd weigh...
...but it's good!
I'm fake-thin. - You'd think...
You had me fooled.
Do you think this... this and the bag?
[Markl and Gabriela laughs]
[dog barks]
On my own! On my own! - Proud of you!
Come here. - What?
[Markl laughs]
Can you get the golf bag out? - You don't want it?
No.
They all know your weight, because when I ask...
...they all...
...or else...
One, two...
Oh sh*t!
[laughter]
You weigh that.
I'm losing this.
You weight that. I'm positive.
A hundred and...?
[Markl grins]
Not a hundred...?
We're not really gonna discuss that.
[applause]
Raminhos, you carried this man. - Yes.
Blimey! - He weighed less than I thought.
Really? - I could've taken him home.
And that's what I did. I took him home.
Very well. We left Cândido for the end. - Rambo.
I don't really remember this task. - You don't?
He's pregnant too.
Too much work. Too much air up there.
Yes... well Markl, we need to see Cândido.
Vasco, remember that scene in Rambo 3
when John Rambo has a sharp stick in his belly.
He takes it out with his own hands, disinfects the wound,
taking the powder from a bullet and burning the wound?
Epic.
I saw that at the old Alpha cinema, next to Arieiro.
I still have his scream...
"Aaaaaah!".
...in my head.
Compared to what we're about to see, that scene from Rambo
is kid's stuff.
How do I get to the goats?
Markl weighs six goats.
What do you weigh, Markl?
I can't say.
Let me look at you.
How much would you say, roughly?
You weigh 100 kg.
Easily.
Naked.
I need about four goats.
Good goats, the strong kind.
Aw man, look at these sheep!
They're too big, man.
That one there is heavier than Markl.
I don't know if this will work.
I don't want to hurt the sheep.
I won't risk it.
That was a stupid idea.
I have to rethink.
It won't work, Markl.
There was one,
and one was heavier than you.
So let's go for Plan B.
Heavy things.
You're not under pressure.
Okay.
Ah f*ck!
Let's go!
Jesus!
Some facial expression, but it's not...
A ladder. - ...it's not gonna help.
Let me stand next to you.
You're paunchier than me. - Yes.
A little. - It widens, mine goes out,
but yours extends. It's thicker.
Two kinds of bellies. - Two kinds of tanks.
I need a real man!
This great boy will do. A real athlete.
Let's go for this.
Yes, together. - Watch out.
It's gonna fall!
No. it's not. - It isn't?
I know what I did, Nuno. - Alright.
That's it, that's it.
That gladiator's look.
No.
Let it go.
Run!
Oh sh*t! Wait there.
[laughter]
Wait.
[Cândido laughs]
Wait!
I'll climb over it. Don't be scared.
That's it.
But I'll have to put more weight.
Save yourselves!
Markl!
[Cândido growls]
This is half a Markl.
I think this show is turning you into a suspicious person.
It is. I've been through things here you wouldn't believe.
Right. - I have kids.
[laughter]
Watch your butt.
Wait now... I've only got one on the board.
Ah.
Wait.
Let go.
Do I let go?
Okay.
Now I need you.
To do what?
To support me.
Okay.
How?
Press down.
Okay. - That's it.
If I let go I'll be infertile. So watch out, okay?
What's happening?
How do I... - You squat, I'll go behind.
That bathtub is scary. - Squat.
It's like an action film.
What are you doing?
[laughter]
[Cândido and Markl laugh]
It's impossible. - Wait.
Let's let it drop. - I got it, I got it.
I'm laughing and losing strength. - I got it.
Trust me, Nuno. - Okay, okay.
What just happened here?
I loved it. - This was television.
You're gonna win, eh? You think...
I'm gonna win. First of all,
Wandson couldn't carry this tub.
And now the test. - Yes.
That'll be the challenge. - Sure.
Raminhos scares me. - Does he?
Raminhos is a strange being.
Why?
He might just do some silly nonsense, but he might pull it off.
True. Well, thanks Cândido. - Bye, guys..
This was my big task of the day.
Good strategy, then good common sense,
and then quick improvisation.
We're not gonna listen to this all afternoon.
Someday I'll have to ask for help.
Shall we attack?
You didn't remember this?
I didn't remember he almost fell...
Oh, yes. - I said "Save yourselves!".
I wrote that down.
We were stuck together. "Save yourselves!"
Within 5 seconds, you went from:
"I know what I did" to
"SAVE YOURSELVES!"
We've seen what you've placed on the seesaw,
and now we'll see if anyone put into the basket
the same weight as Markl, so it balances out perfectly
with all the stuff on the other side.
It's coming up next.
It's what the country wants, and what Taskmaster delivers.
First, Markl, let's see the seesaw
with Raminho's objects.
How sweet! - Raminhos took a lot off...
How sweet! - How sweetl!
Now, Madalena Abecassis.
No. - I worked so hard on it!
From Madalena to Gabriela Barros.
It went higher! It went higher!
From Gabriela to...
Mine was highest!
Wandson and...
Cândido Costa.
We were both... - I think we both did good!
Don't underrate Cândido. - Applause!
What a beautiful task.
So now we're gonna tell you the difference between
what you put on there and what Markl weighs.
Someone was off by 63.3 kg,
and that was Wandson.
Gabriela was 32 kg off.
No! - Yes.
Madalena was 17.6 kg off.
Okay, the two last ones. Say the weights.
14.1 and 12.2.
Jeez! - A difference of 1.9 kg.
Yes, a difference of 1.9 kg.
So 12.2 kg off was...
António Raminhos.
Raminhos!
So points-wise... - He's known me the longest.
He's carried me many times. - Many years of carrying Markl.
So let's take a look at the scores.
It's not the end yet. We still have the studio task.
But right now, how is it looking, Markl?
Gabriela's leading with 21 points,
Madalena follows with 20,
tied at 18 are Cândido and Raminhos,
and Wandson has 13 points.
Applause for them all! So what does this mean?
That means that the last task, that we'll be doing in the studio,
it's decisive, except for Wandson.
Once again? - Wandson can't get there.
However, Raminhos, Gabriela, Cândido and Madalena,
if one of you wins the final task, you'll win tonight's Taskmaster.
An applause for the five magnificents
of season 3 of Taskmaster.
Get your asses of the chairs,
and go to the stage for the last task of the night.
You can feel the tension right? The tension is palpable.
Markl, who will read the task?
I'll go to the centre of the panel and I'll give it to Gabriela.
Okay.
Woo! Woo!
Ah...
"Say the most different words without hesitating for more than two seconds."
"Any words already said will not count."
"The person who says the fewest words each round is eliminated."
"The person in last place goes first."
Wandson starts.
First round is three letter words.
Whistle.
Mum, dad, bread.
Bye.
Next one,
I'm gonna lose, I'm the last.
Can I? - You can.
Was, sun, salt, as, dog.
Done. - Dad...
No, two seconds passed.
[whistles]
Moon, Leo...
Done.
It's over. - It was due to his face.
Me? I'm just counting.
Who's next?
Gabriela is quiet 'cause she's thinking.
Shut up.
I mean, if Gabriela wins.
Master, lime,
pair, tau,
As. I've said as.
Tim... - What?
Tim. - No,
Raminho said "as".
You said "as", or you said "tau"? ['as' = 'tão'; sounds like 'tau']
Tau. - I've said "Tau".
"As" or "tau"? - Tau, it's recorded.
Tau what? Tau in "tau-tau"?
Tau in the eastern meaning.
I think you better rewatch it, I understood as.
Thanks Cândido, see you next time. Gabriela's missing.
He, she, aunt, Mia...
And done. - And it's enough.
It's enough. - Madalena is out in this round.
Applause for Madalena Abecasis, ladies and gentlemen.
Next round! - You can go to the bench.
Four letter words now.
We're raising the stakes. Wandson starts.
- I have to whistle.
[whistles]
[laughter and applauses]
You're counting on Wandson.
Show!
Four letters, António.
[whistles]
Car, tarot... what?
"Carro"? [car] - Isn't that four letters?
Five, the same. Oh god!
A round of applause. A round of applause.
Cândido, you only need one. - Only one, Cândido.
Duck, expensive, dick, ball, log, seal...
Okay. - Enough, enough.
Each, for, bag, stalk...
It's enough.
Good enough or not? - Good enough or not?
Good enough or not?
Wandson will leave, as will Raminhos.
No, isn't it like, x-zone? - No, no.
You both had zero.
And now, Cândido and Gabriela face off in a five letter round.
Careful now. Whoever wins this rounds, wins tonight's Taskmaster.
Ah! - Okay.
Gabriela, up to you.
Plate!
[Gabriela yells]
Pond!
No, no! - Two seconds have gone by.
Two seconds already passed after 'plate'.
Poop!
Poop? - Goodbye!
Come on, come fast bull. Walk, walk, walk.
Let's do it.
Bull, battery, billiards.
gasp... - Billiards has six?
Billiards? [billiards = 'bilhar']
Bi... - Bi...
He said two. - B... I...
L, H, A, R. Six letters. - Cândido said two.
He said two. How many said? - I've said...
Said one. - I've said two!
Only one. - No, no!
No, no! I've said... I've said 'plate'!
I'm enjoying this one.
I've said...
I'm enjoying.
I think you've said 'plate' and then said things no-one understood.
I said 'plate' and 'pond', the mic heard it!
Pond has 6 letters. [pond = 'charco'] - SHUT UP!
The winner is...
No! I was so close.
You didn't say your words, and then said words...
...of the final task...
I'll breakdance.
And the winner...
Let's go for it.
...of tonight's show.
Hey, don't hurt yourself.
It's Cândido Costa!
[audience chanting] CÂNDIDO! CÂNDIDO!
Cândido is the winner of tonight's show! And before we leave,
careful with the answer to the question:
What have you learned today in Taskmaster?
We've learned a lot. For example...
Put back how it was, and watch how it clings.
Take care of the jars, the plants and lemons, oh, the poor things.
You're looking around at home and you have nothing you can resort,
then go out and go high-five 50-year-olds in Freeport.
To balance a friend, with the right weight you must plan.
Put a bathtub and damn, got loose, save those you can!
There are rules in life. I know, and so does this auditorium.
The bottle in the living room can't go to the laboratory.
Good evening! It's Taskmaster. The biggest ones! Thank you.
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TRANSLATION BY MAFFU, CRIMSONFOX, THEPURPLEKOALA, REIFFERSCHIZZLE AND BBARÃO.
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