Yes!
No!
-Ouch! -Idiocy!
The brain!
-In the face? -Time’s up.
Welcome to Bäst i Test, the program where we separate the chaff from the wheat-
-and see who thinks clearly under stress. Now we need contestants.
Oat puff from Härjedalen-
-Erik Ekstrand!
Buttercake from Småland - Marika Carlsson!
Vanilla bun from Växjö - Ola Forssmed!
Sweet bread from Sörmland - Ellen Bergström!
Today's guest - lovely hypochondriac Nisse Hallberg! [stand-up comedian]
How fun to have you here, Nisse. Finally!
- Have you been waiting a long time? - Maybe we'll find out later.
You’ve been a drummer, cook and stand-up. Is there a red thread?
Beer, I think.
These are alcohol-compatible professions.
-Hello, panel. -Thanks.
-How has the week been? -Empty without you.
-We like flattery. -The week has been good.
It's always best to be here, along with everyone else.
Here's my worse half - David Sundin!
Thank you.
-What's your place in this? -I'm helping you.
-I measure time ... -Yes, yes.
But what's your place on Earth? -Yeah. Yes...
I measure time and stuff. This is my life.
I never tire. It’s sad. We take the first task.
It's about being on time. It's minding the time.
This has already happened. It was about not being too late.
-The winner is the one who came earliest? -No, you should arrive on time.
-We didn’t even know that! -Let’s watch it.
-You secretly filmed me in the shower. -Yes, we were working.
The one who comes the earliest has a chance to lose.
This is quite early.
-Ola came 50 minutes early. -Super good task!
Ola, it's too early.
-Yeah ... -For early arrival, simply.
-Now there’s 20 minutes left. -Then you have to go to the toilet.
-Let's see... -What an expensive car he has.
Erik came 24 minutes early.
-Sober. -Yes. That's the point.
This is 12 minutes before. Here comes...
-It's Ellen. -I arrived on time!
-It's quite unique. -It was because I took a taxi.
This is just a minute later. Then Marika came.
It was close. Marika came very close to the assigned time.
I usually want to be early. Look how happy I am.
-What are you wearing? -But how did the guest do?
It starts to shine when I arrive.
Now we are past time.
-There he is. -It's six minutes over ...
My car got confused. When did that happen?
-Yes, it's gone. -Let's see.
Here comes Nisse, eight minutes after the assigned time.
-How close did Marika come? -She came 11 minutes early.
-How could it be better? -You can’t be late.
You always come on time.
Does Nisse score a point or zero? -Zero?!
-You came late. -Eight is closer than eleven.
Nisse gets a point. He didn’t fail completely, because he arrived.
I don’t always do that.
-What's the score? -Marika leads with five points.
-What is this? -Ola got two points.
What a great program!
-Are you going to sink us soon? -Now, we enjoy this.
We need to find out what the prizes are for this evening's program.
We have asked all contestants to bring things that form the prize pool.
It goes to this evening’s winner.
The one who brings the best thing gets points, so it's a task.
-What did they bring? -Their most unnecessary battery-powered thing.
Marika brought a snowy lantern with Jesus.
Erik has a remote control for a TV which broke down 17 years ago.
The eyes light on this skull from Ola. -Yes, it's shit.
This is a battery-powered soap pump. Thanks, Ellen.
Nisse lives so big that he has room for a pinball machine ... a small one.
Oh, tough! -No...
-This is good. -Stop!
-How useless is that? -What do you think yourself?
-Marika, is that from your childhood home? -Yes. I had a religious upbringing.
I got it for Christmas when I was 10.
- Is the whole family in there? - God is not included.
-Any brothers-in-law? -No, they're over here.
-Nisse, are you playing that? -It's my grandfather's.
He called and said, "I have bought a flipper."
Then you saw this. -Super-cool game!
Worthless.
-Erik, tell me about your remote control. -I know that it's nice.
But it's for something that I owned sometime ... probably a TV.
Here are the chocolate muffins. -So disgusting.
-And you’ve eaten chips. -You can get pregnant by holding it.
Ellen, when did you realize that you couldn’t handle pumping soap by hand?
This ... It just spurts!
I got it when I was shopping on an internet site.
-but it starts ... -The spontaneous pumps.
-It's okay? -But if you move too much ...
When I wash my face I get soap on my head.
So it's like an automatic toilet. When I turn around, everything starts.
-It's not flattering. -I’m not aware of that
-I would be happy with your things. -No!
-You just try. -You are tough!
You can win the competition, then you get all the things.
Marika's thing is incredibly nice. It gets the lowest score.
-One point. -Thanks. Nice you liked it.
Then I think that ...
Then I'll take the pump. It works, but you flap too much.
The pinball game is worthless, but you have probably played it.
-With this? -You get three points.
-It's close. -What the hell...
-You get four points, and Erik five. -Uh-oh! It has a purpose!
I'll save it for a few more years.
-How close is it? -Now, Erik has gone away.
He has 8 points. In second place are Ola, Marika and Ellen.
-And Nisse is also here. -Just. It will probably be fine.
-Fun. -You are here.
-We are ready for the next task. Hold your hat, because now it pops.
Balloon fest!
-Hey! -Okay...
-Okay. "Pop balloons." -"Fastest time wins."
"Time begins when the first pops.”
It's those balloons.
There were a few more, yes.
-Marika did not see the balloons. -I was focused on you.
-One would pop ... -We don’t need to show more.
-Shouldn’t we look? -The time began at first pop.
It took a long time for preparation.
I like the tasks where everyone can think of a clever solution-
-instead of just popping like wild.
-Surely nobody did that? -Let’s watch Ellen, Marika and Ola.
Hold this. Here it is.
Now I'm starting. No...
Wait... I have to have ... I'm running.
-What have you got there? -A screwdriver.
Are you in?
No, it will be this one.
It's a bit uncomfortable.
Damn, crap!
Damn! Die!
-30 seconds. -No.
Die!
What the hell...
1:40.
-Yes! That was pretty good. -So?
-I think. -You should be happy with yourself.
Thanks.
I should have taken a needle instead of a clothespin.
Absolutely.
You had all the time in the world to prepare this.
-Oh my God... -And this was how it was.
Ola looked as if he was walking a summer-cat.
-I’m pretty weak in a pinch. -Yes please.
What did you have?
A spring from a clothespin.
What did you have? -A screwdriver.
-Scissors. -They’re great for cutting paper.
Are you satisfied with your times? -No.
Marika got 1:40, and Ellen 1:10.
And Ola was a sixth of a second faster than Ellen.
Now we’ll look at Erik and Nisse. They used their time better.
I need a thornbush.
I need matches.
-That looks like a lawnmower. -Yes. You are absolutely right.
Look, I found one!
-Are you ready? -Yes.
What kind of incense stick?
-What do you think I'll do? -Yes...
It should sprinkle fire. It’s some Indian hocus-pocus.
-Are you ready? -Yes.
Yo-ho!
No! No!
-Burn! -What did I learn? Nothing!
Ah!
Come on!
But...
Come on! Yes!
-41 seconds. -With the fire's help! Thanks.
Petrol smashes balloons. Damn!
Thanks to Nisse, we know that gasoline pop balloons.
Don’t try this at home.
-You thought about stepping on them. -Yes.
-But they spontaneously popped. -And in my panic I went from there.
-Instead of continuing. -Erik should have had two sticks.
Yes...
When you are on incense, you become calm and meditative.
You should have been the fastest. - What do the numbers say?
Erik popped the balloons in 41 seconds.
That was slow.
-Nisse did it in 34 seconds. -Yes!
-Good! -Now she will come: Ludmila.
But if you know the Morse alphabet, you would have seen this:
POP ONLY 2 AND WIN -So it stood. -It was enough to pop two.
-What is Morse ...? -Exactly.
-What is the Morse alphabet? -Google it.
The Morse alphabet is an older way of communicating.
Now I get it. Thanks.
-Thanks. -Now, we'll take the next task.
It's time for "Five Good Sandwiches”.
LABORATORY - "Create an imaginative sandwich."
- “You have five minutes." -“Time begins when you go into the lab.”
I need stuff!
There was a table, loaded with ingredients to choose from.
We take a look at what you chose and how you made your sandwich.
Time’s started.
-So be it? -Yes, I hate stingy people.
It's just keeping on time.
-It was no more difficult. -One knock is enough.
This is a regular Tuesday sandwich.
-Its smell a lot ... -It's rotting.
At the bottom you want something sweet. This isn’t strange.
See! What a craving one gets.
-Should you do that with your hands? -You can use tools.
-If you feel old-fashioned. -Yes.
-Chips, for a little texture. -You eat with your eyes, too.
-This is kohlrabi. -Fennel.
Pretty fat.
Now it's getting stressful!
I’ll saw it.
Instead of bread, we work with brie.
-We are spreading out the pickles. -No!
You shouldn’t go too early with this, so we do now.
Damn it, kassler, come on!
Now we will be imaginative and build a goose. Geese are white.
This is the biggest mistake I have made.
They have a beak. So there ... wings.
It became a sandwich cake.
They have feathers on their behind.
A fried egg on chips.
Eyes. Happy mouth
Just to tease the eyes, I shower them with sprinkles.
Here you go, a mother-in-law's dream.
Oh my God!
We are talking about the sandwiches. - Your sandwich, Nisse ...
Should you put chips on a sandwich?
-After this, I say no. -Okay.
-Ola, yours was a little more ... -Sausages there!
It was a tower of fat.
What were you making? -A cake.
Then it would look like a swan, and I succeeded.
It looks like Elvis's lunch box, when he drove a truck.
-We have Erik’s sandwich. -Yes.
-It was low-carb high-fat with sprinkles. -Yes, absolutely.
-What was ithe paste? -Tandoori paste.
-I have a hard time with that taste. -But you chose it.
One should take the chance to meet their demons.
-Shall we score? -The task isn’t done yet.
-There was another letter. -Ahh.
This does not look good.
No!
"Eat the sandwich. The one who eats in the shortest time wins."
How could I not figure it out?
No, oh my God!
No no...
-No! -Never!
It will be good, especially this part.
-I do not intend to eat it. -No.
-I don’t know what to do. -I'll report to Babben.
I give up.
It's strong and fat like me.
At the table. Damn, how good this will be.
It goes out on the sides.
The cheese takes over.
Okay...
Oh my God ...
It's good!
It's like intercourse with a relative: nice but wrong.
I have to take it layer by layer.
It reminds of a cycling holiday which I chose not to do.
I thank you.
I need a break.
-Time? -Under nine.
-I thank you for your efforts. -Okay.
-How disgusting! -8:50.
-I take the straw with me. -Awful.
Then the whole task was done.
-Nisse gets five points. -Yes.
-It's nice. Impressive! -Now he’s moving.
You struggled. Erik and Ola began their sandwiches.
-You get three points each. -Yes!
And then, Ellen and Marika get one point each.
-You were there. -Thanks.
-How are the scores? -Erik has 15 points.
Nisse has 14 points, Ola has 12 points, Ellen has 9, and Marika has 8.
-That’s good! -I thought I was racing.
You have the chance to win these useless battery-powered gadgets.
Now it's “The Middle of the Program".
David is allowed to practice his interview technique in prime time.
I’ll turn it over to David Sundin, who will interview today's guest, Nisse.
-Babben, I’m the first to say thank you. -Yes, no one else can say that.
-Nisse Hallberg ... How are you? -Just great.
Do you remember how it tasted? -Yes.
-You almost got sick in your mouth. -Yes.
-Do you want me to vomit? -No.
It's time for “Memorize the Code"!
♫ Memorize the code, memorize the code ...
One month ago, they were given a task.
-Now, let's see if they remember it. -The brain!
-Hello. Okay. -Hello.
Do you have to be so wooden? Can’t you just say, "How are you?"
-I can’t take it! "Memorize the code." - "You may not read the code aloud.”
- "In three minutes, the code will be destroyed." -No! Really hard.
-How many numbers was it? -Nine.
-How do you remember that? -We can take a look.
I'll be back soon. I have a memo on my mobile phone.
Should I keep it in my head for three minutes?
-Three minutes to memorize it. -I know it already.
I have to look up the word. "To memorize ..."
One minute.
I don’t need that.
Why am I laughing?
-Thanks. -Thanks.
-What did I get for time? -40.
-Thanks. -You’re welcome.
OK ... is he gone?
The eyebrows! I'm probably smartest here anyway.
We have seen some different techniques, like dance and mumble.
But what did Nisse do? -His method worked a bit.
"Memorize the code. You have three minutes."
"Your time begins now."
I'm finished.
-Are you sure? -Yes.
Thanks.
So uncomfortable!
-How fast was Nisse? -He spent 7.5 seconds.
-It's a record. -You didn’t have to be the fastest.
-You just had to memorize the code. -Now we’ll see what they remember.
You should present the code.
Change the dice so that they show the code.
You have 100 seconds. Your time starts now.
-And they’re off. There is no zero!
If you know you're done, we can stop a little earlier.
-Ola scrutinizes his code. -I'm finished.
-Erik is satisfied. -Yes.
Only Marika is left.
If you can do it faster, then you will get it.
But I want to use all the time.
Yes...
Then we'll see how many Ola got right.
One, two, three, four, five, six.
- Seven, eight, nine right. -Oh!
One, two, three, four...
-Four. -Wasn’t that right? No.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.
-Nine right. -Demons out!
Shouldn’t anyone talk about this?!
In the 1400s, we would’ve set fire to this bastard!
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.
Yes!
Can we see Ellen's dance?
♫ 53, 56, 24, 113
-Stylish! -Nine right!
-It had nothing to do with anything! -113!
-All except Marika did it. -No!
I'm the only normal one here.
The most normal is to remember the beginning, but forget the rest.
I only managed three. -Someone is sick in the head.
-I have so few friends. -This is unpleasant.
First you check when you’re supposed to show up, then you summon Saida.
You don’t know what's happening. Then you start dancing.
Can I ask for the score? -Yes.
-The ones who managed it get four points. -Yes!
-Marika gets ... -Zero points!
-She gets two points. -Thanks. That’s kind.
-We will take the next task. -Now, it's important to hold tight.
-Ola-la. -David.
What is this?
Hi, Ellen! - Put on your gloves.
-They are wet. -Cozy ...
"Fill the cylinder with water to the red mark. "
"Keep your gloves on at all times.”
“You have 10 minutes. Your time starts now."
It's just trying to think positively.
-Damn dog. Are you running? -Yes.
The cylinder had holes in it. The task was to fill it with water.
We begin with Ellen, Erik and Marika.
"Your time starts now."
There’s a hole there. And you've seen it, too!
Oh!
-Has anyone glued this? -Taped.
It's cracked all the way. Oh no!
Now I’ve got it.
-Ingenious! -You just want to take off the gloves.
-Now we're past the hole. -Half the time left.
Two inches left. -I got raisin fingers.
No, there’s a hole! -Five minutes...
-We have suffered a ... -Leak.
-Now! -Thanks.
There!
Time’s up. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen.
-You did not reach the edge. -Wondering what burst.
Marika and Erik had the same tactics.
-How does it feel now? -I thought right.
But I missed some holes down there.
I could’ve covered it faster.
We didn’t have the same tactics. I stuffed it with a garbage bag.
She taped like a fool. Check me out - waterproof!
Okay ... but it was almost a little cheating that the hose lay there.
Yes, but there were other ways to solve this. Let’s look at Ola.
Can I move this? -Gladly.
Yes, yes.
Yes, yes ... okay.
Look here.
What?
Look how stressed I am.
No, damn ...
Now...
I must have...
Why the hell am I doing the inside? What an idiot I am!
-Here you save a lot of time. -Stress can affect the genius.
Okay.
Uh-oh. Now I can take it easy.
-Now you'll soon see the big hole. -Now...
-It feels steady. -It seeps a bit.
But it's on the way up. -Now, it's barely raised.
-Yes, so slow. -We can go out and get some air.
-It's clear ... there. -Now we're done.
-There. Thank you. -Thanks.
He is so happy! The world's worst craftsman.
There was reason to be satisfied.
I did it without plastic on the inside.
-You taped the inside instead. -I wanted to be careful.
The nice thing is that you don’t feel stressed, and you have confidence.
-You don’t understand you're slow. -What do you mean?
It’s stupid to tape on the inside, but you are satisfied.
It’s good to tape on the inside, before then the tape is pressed out.
The gloves were the problem. -He also thought so.
The gloves did not work out. You were right, but you were wrong.
It was faster to fill the bathtub.
-I might have won. -Probably not.
It was difficult with the tape.
-Who’s left? -Yes, we'll take a look at Nisse.
Yuk, what the hell am I going to do? You have to ... fill the cylinder.
Is the enough?
-Should we say so? -Yes.
No, no...
-No, no, no! -Yes then.
The audience is cheering! -What kind of Trump-manners is that?
-It's not filled! -No!
-I must... -It's not filled.
-Ring the U.N.! That's like a sausage in the Globe.
-"Fill the cylinder over the line." -Fill the cylinder, yes!
-It's the same cylinder. -You wouldn’t moisten the table top.
It was more than he who moistened the table top.
-It was superbly thought. -No!
-It must not be true! -Yes, then.
I was quick again.
You came in and scored five points. - Five points?!
-Yes. How was the rest of the score? -Ellen didn’t even fill it up.
Ola - 9 min and 9 sec. Marika - 5 min and 46 sec.
Erik - 4 min 31 sec. Nisse - 1 min and 5 sec.
-It was good. -We will convert it to points.
Now we have a shared first place - Nisse and Erik!
We'll see who goes home with all the prizes.
-It's time for the next task. -Our contestants are going on a blind date.
Oh no!
There should be an elevator.
Hey.
-Hello. -There!
Exciting.
-Yes! You think so. -"Paint the person behind the cloth.”
-"You're not allowed to look at the person." -"She only answers yes or no."
- "Best portrait wins." - "Bonus points for her occupation."
-"Your time begins now." -Good luck.
Nisse tears down the cloth and wins everything.
He asks the person, "Tell me what you do!" Clever, Nisse!
-Nisse adhered to the rules. -Oh, how good.
You couldn’t look at the person, who just answered yes or no.
-Bonus points for the occupation. -We look at how it went.
-Hello! Can you hear me? -Yes.
-Hello. How are you? -Just yes and no questions.
-Habla español? -No.
Are you dark? -No.
Do you have long black hair? -No.
Do you look like a frying pan?
Do you have golden yellow hair? -No.
Do you have children bigger than David Sundin? -No.
-Do you have an oblong face? -Yes...
Do you have red earrings? -No. -Silver? -No. -Gold? -No.
What the hell...
-You have an oblong face. -No.
Do you have a small head? -Yes.
Do you have big nostrils? -Yes.
Does the color of the earrings start with G? -No.
-Do you have blue eyes? -No.
Does your hair go down to the tits?
Are your eyes big and brown? -No.
They are big and blue. That was what I said.
Do you have two eyes? -Yes.
-Do you have tattoos on your face? -Yes.
Will there be any holidays this year?
-Do you have bangs? -No.
Does it run off the nose?
Do you have any hair? -No.
Do you feel tough? -What do you work with?
Have you fallen asleep and hit your chin on the table?
Are your pants black? Gray? Red? -No.
-Do you work in uniform? -Yes.
-Blue pants? -Yes.
Do you have all your teeth left? -Yes.
Are you a police officer? -No.
-Are you 25 years old? 24? 23? 29? 28? 20? -No.
-I'm close. -15.
-23? 24? 25? -Look ... You have no eyelids.
-Oh! -Time’s up.
If this was the same, is it a shame about ...
-Bye. Now you are talking. -Bye.
It seemed very difficult. How was it for them?
We are going to peek. - Show the portraits to Babben.
-How nice. -Thanks.
To assess it we need the person you drew - Denice Östberg!
-What the same. -Yes...
Welcome! You have seen all the portraits.
You should judge whether you think you’re looking at yourself in the art.
-We start with Ola. -It ... that's right.
-Yes! -Not so much.
No, but it's the right color on the pants. There are points for that.
-Otherwise... -We take Marika’s.
You put the color on the earrings.
-It is so nice. -Yes.
-And your beautiful happy mouth. -Yes.
But you have removed parts of her neck.
-No, right? My blue has turned purple.
-A face tattoo. -I do.
-Blue eyes and striped sweater. -It was really good.
-Erik. Yes... -I got your favorite gift!
-Cigarette? No. -We talked about chocolate.
-Yes that... -And you’re a firefighter.
-It's nice. -Burn marks on the face.
-We have Ellen. That's really good.
-It's very similar. -No!
Denice, start with the least insulting one.
-I was last in the competition. -We see why.
I would feel good with high points.
If I choose the best, I have to say Ellen.
Yes!
-Face tattoo ... -I change the battery in the fire alarm.
-and I have a fire extinguisher. -But your car is stolen.
-Nisse was second best. -Do you know what's happening?
-You and your pig-guardian. -Pig-guardian?
-It's hard. -Yes, but I choose Marika.
It does not look like a human being.
And Erik will be next. -Yes!
-You can’t seriously! -Unfortunately.
-“Beauty,” I wrote. -I thank you for that.
To me, our meeting meant a lot.
Ellen is good at drawing, and managed to nail this.
-It was clear as a bell. -No flames.
-But what kind of helmet is that? -It's incredibly strange.
We actually made a helmet according to your drawing.
-It's a Pokémon ball! -This is what you think a helmet looks like.
-She looks like a cast-off. -Like this...
-This is cheating! -It is a unique helmet solution.
Without skin she looks exactly like this.
In that you can accommodate both mobile and lip gloss.
-It's the first thing you think about it. -No, you do not.
-You just think about saving lives. -You can fit in with a spare can.
The score is given. Did anyone manage to get her profession?
Marika tried, but those who come to the right profession were-
-Nisse, Ellen and Erik. One extra point to each.
Even more points to me!
Then it looks like that Nisse leads with 28 points.
Erik has 26 points, Ellen has 20, Ola 19, and Marika has 16 points.
-Fair! -Thank you so much, Denice.
Nisse, why did you draw a striped sweater?
Everything can change and anything can happen; it's time for the final.
Finally!
Now it's time to play the final and see who takes home the prizes.
Marika, please read the letter aloud.
"Pack your luggage. Anything that doesn’t fit, you have to wear.”
"The bag must be completely closed. The task begins and ends with David's signal."
You have to pack the bag with stuff.
What you don’t pack, you must wear.
You must not have any loose items.
It's not enough to put on a sleeve and drag the rest.
-At least two limbs in the garment. -At least two body parts?
These four limbs we have to work with, no more.
When you are done, you stand here in front.
Then I say if you are approved.
-Do you understand? -Yes.
-Time starts now. -Now you should be quick and tidy.
Let's see... Nisse bit holes in the pool ring.
He pops the balloon. Ola is ...
-Ouch! -Ola is wearing a hat and wetsuit.
Ouch!
Stop retching, Nisse!
Nisse has air in his lungs. He is allergic to air.
-There’s a piñata. -No no no!
-Stop it! -Oh!
Ola is getting close. That feels reasonable.
-The bag is closed. Ola is approved! -Yes!
Who will be next to finish? Nisse closes the bag.
Does he have everything? Ellen is ...
-Pack the bucket. -I'm wearing it!
Look at you, Ellen. You are approved!
-Erik is approved. -Yes!
Marika is ... approved.
Nisse is ... approved.
-Is that it? -Yes. - Come back to the sofas.
What a thrilling final. It was very exciting.
-What were the results? -It became very exciting.
We sum up. Marika gets 18 points.
We have a shared second place - Ola and Ellen have 24 points.
And a split first place on 29 points - Nisse and Erik!
-Was it shared? -No, it doesn’t work that way
-What the hell... -Now, there will be a tiebreaker.
Thanks.
“Pour the Påskmusten [Easter drink] from the top of the chair. Don’t move the carafe.”
"You have 90 seconds."
It was very much an onshore wind today.
Oh! It gets to foam out out a bit.
A julmust [Christmas drink] is like a dog. It smells stronger the more you wrestle.
-Fairly good. -What a ray!
Fifteen.
-So there. -Yes.
Three, two, one.
How good it was.
I think I know who the winner is. How much was left?
-Nisse got 550ml total. -Wow!
-Erik collected 774ml. -Yes!
-Erik wins! -Finally!
-Receive the prizes. -A worthy winner.
What have we learned? Don’t make bigger sandwiches than you can eat.
And a cylinder can be filled from two directions.
And Ola is a pack-master.
Thanks for tonight. Farewell. Bye!
Original Swedish text: Helena Lagerholm BTI Studios for SVT