A hearty welcome to Kongen Befaler.
The program where our comedians will solve demanding, extensive tasks.
They are struggling to become the one who finally walks away with the season's grand prize:
-A bust in gold ... -Of you.
Of me.
Those who can win this grand prize at the end of the season are:
Vegard Ylvisåker, Maria Stavang, -
-Bård Ylvisåker, Siri Kristiansen and Calle Hellevang-Larsen.
Shall we start, Olli? You can take us straight into the first task.
- Then I mean straight in. -It is good.
We start with the prize task.
You have asked the participants to bring their own items.
The winner of tonight's program takes them home.
What criteria have you set for today's object?
Today's item is quite interesting.
Bring one thing you killed.
-We start with Vegard. -I have brought something very hard.
It's good, just that.
-It was violent. -This.
Thanks!
Yes, that's a splash.
I can confirm that he killed it.
-Can you confirm it? -Yes, we lived in Africa for a while.
There we had a pool.
There was a bat there that held on like a firefighting aircraft.
The filled water in our pool. It drank.
We thought we should catch it, -
- so I took the pool cap and was going to try to catch the bat.
I managed so far, but I used a lot of counter power,
so it got a tennis racket feature.
It flew into a brick wall and died instantly.
-Very nice. -So good! So clever you are!
-It fits the task very well. -Applause for murder.
-Calle, what have you killed? -This has produced 16 corpses.
I have a fully automatic, electric,
mouse killing chamber.
This is a Victor Multikill.
It can kill up to ten mice.
-At a time? -Yes.
If you look here, you see two cozy stairs as the mice go up.
You can use peanut butter, because the mice like it best.
- Peanut butter. - It's the new cheese.
It's just a myth that mice like cheese so much.
Then they know the smell and then ...
Then they go in there and over some metal plates.
They provide power.
They see and smell the peanut butter.
When they are at their happiest, they are grilled to death.
They fall into a drawer -
- where they lie neatly and neatly over ten pieces.
Start over.
Good! Bård.
Hi! I have one thing that can beat all the others.
It has a footnote in a way.
I promise I killed something or someone with the item,
- but I can't tell you what.
I chose to take the chance that I could be disqualified, -
-but it fulfills the task's requirements.
I promise something has been killed with this one.
I also promise that I can't say who.
-Do you mean you can't imply anything? -Yes.
Is there something about the pulse and heart that has been killed by it?
- Yes. - From the animal kingdom?
Can you tell it in 25 years? Is it obsolete at some point?
- Probably in 25 years. - When is it outdated?
I don't know the details.
-Do you regret? -Yes, I regret it.
It should not have happened.
The limitation period is 25 years. How long ago did you kill with it?
It is between two and three years. I don't quite remember.
- There's glitter on it. - Two or three years ago?
-There's glitter on it. -A blogger?
- It's fun because ... - A blogger.
-It's fun, mostly he ... -Do you know about this?
No, that's it. I heard that Bård laughed as I brought out the net.
He realized what a story it was. I assumed I should know-
- what he has killed, but I have no idea what it is.
He hasn't told.
It is a weak and strong contribution I make.
What you put into the pot is whether we believe the story or not.
How high credibility do you have? We'll get back to that.
It's exciting to hear what you're up to, Siri.
-Is it not? -No.
-I have a Torky. -A Torky.
Then the jokes there are in a row, -
- but we're not going there.
Billions of lives lost there.
I have one like that hanging by my sink in the kitchen.
Before I say what I've killed, -
- I'd say I have a dog, have had a cat. I love animals.
- "Has she had a cat?" -You don't have a cat anymore?
I haven't killed the cat -
- but I killed a goldfish by pushing it down the sink with Torky.
-Would you strangle a goldfish? - Sick person!
Have you drowned a goldfish?
I was going to wash the goldfish bowl that was broken. The fish spilled in the sink.
Instead of filling water with something else,
- then I held it down until it stopped squirming.
-Maria? -I have ...
I am, as I said, young, as you said before -
- so I haven't killed that much.
It's coming, it’s…
But I've included something that killed my self-respect in 2018.
A winter day.
I'm a little impressed with myself, because I drank the whole carton.
I have been told that I became like Gollum at Youngstorget.
I don't remember much of it, but I think I had fun.
- Have you made up your mind? -Yes, unfortunately.
But it is a little difficult to rank all this.
I can't give you extra points because you're a girl and young.
I'm sorry you haven't committed a real murder yet.
I also mean it is coming.
You get last place so far, then you get together.
You will come back later. It's not hard.
- The gang here has done well. -Yes.
- It will be your last. - Alright.
But you can take it again during the program.
I'm a little uncertain, but Siri gets second-last. There are two points, after all.
It's not so bad. Calle is on third.
You're in second, Bård -
-and Vegard is first, because it's the size of a bat.
We can put up the scoreboard.
We immediately see that Vegard, not surprisingly, leads with five points.
- Shall we drive on? - Yes, can't we?
We start with the first task.
It is for the engineer in each of you.
Yes, because here it must be built and constructed?
Yes, and in addition it helps to know the meaning of different words.
Oh, then someone here will struggle, in other words.
- Shall we take a look at it? - We shall.
You could have washed before I came.
Egg?
Now I worry a little.
"Build the tallest tower you can mount on this pedestal."
Is this a pedestal?
"At the top of the tower, one of these eggs should be lying."
"The tower will be measured in 20 minutes from now."
A pedestal is something high, right?
Oh yes, I can build a tower of whatever I want.
There should be one egg on top, so I don't have to build a tower of eggs.
Then there will be a walk in the garage.
Participants should build as high a tower as possible-
-on a pedestal, which they have been given.
They all have aids available.
The height is measured from the top of the pedestal-
-to the top where the egg should be. It will be exciting to see.
- Was that where it was supposed to be? -Yes.
Can we look at ... Put together Siri, Vegard, Bård and Maria-
-in a three little pigs story, just that they are four-
and that there will not be a wolf, and they are building towers and not houses.
- It will be much the same. - No, not really.
Oh yeah, so that's half the fun.
If I want to make some wedges, can I use them there?
-Yes. -Okay? Enough.
I'll build until you say there's one minute left.
- Then I'll put the egg on top. - Yes, 17 minutes left.
I panicked and just took a chair with me.
This is an honest way to solve it.
Take the pedestal and build something high on top.
I'm sure Bård has tried to cheat.
Here you have to stand. There.
On top of the white, but quite up to a tree too, to be honest.
What did they do before gaffer’s tape? They must have just been sitting inside.
Fucking gaffer’s tape. What about gaffer’s tape?
A gaffer’s nest at the top of my gaffer’s tree.
I have to make myself a gaffer’s holder.
I guess everyone is thinking of losing the egg.
-Can you give me that pillow? -Yes.
- Like an egg at the same time. - At the same time as the pillow?
I want to take care of myself. Like that.
This feels like a very good idea right now!
Okay. Now I'm just going up here. Like that.
Like that.
It will be interesting. Yes.
There I think we are in goal.
Oh, now there's some egg business here.
Now I think we should give in while the game is good.
For the play, it's good.
-Time. -This is my castle.
-Yes. - I guess six.
-How much is it? - Not six.
-Don't I know? -No.
You saved me.
This is not going to be a "we bully Maria" program.
Yes, by the way.
I love that you are so happy even when you have no reason to be.
It doesn't matter, Atle.
When you had two things lying on top of each other,
-you were really done. But you took the time.
I took one basket on top of something else. There was a difference of three cm.
-Three important centimeters! -I do not think so.
I can reveal that they had nothing to say.
Had it been half a meter, maybe. Maria, you were at the bottom.
-Oh no. -With 3 meters and 34 centimeters.
Siri thought it was 6 meters. It was 3 meters and 96 centimeters.
The aim is that way.
Vegard, 5 meters and 14 centimeters.
So far you are leading, Bård.
There you go. Yours was 7 meters and 28 centimeters.
-You've got the lead right now. -Impressive.
But there are more left. We have a joker.
-Are you ready to look at him? -I'm very clear.
Here comes Calle.
You will build a tower on top of a pedestal, and then it will be measured.
It's fun that it's one short foot.
But that’s how it is.
This is an egg container, or an egg glass, if you will.
It should throne at the top of the tower.
Like that.
"Super fast bonding with extreme adhesion."
Very fun.
- Safe day to build towers? - What?
What did you say?
Like that.
-1.20 again. -This is currently my tower.
Holy shit!
-Time's up. -Okay. Then this was it.
There is the pedestal and there it is. It is good.
After all, it's really just for me to put it up there now.
But it was up.
You manage what we thought was impossible to achieve.
To push yourself under Maria on the results list.
Congratulations to the last, Calle, and first to Bård.
-Bård got off with first place. -Hurray!
We can look at the results list after two tasks.
Yes, then we see that there is a shared leadership between the brothers Ylvis.
Now, Olli, Jørgen Hattemaker will try to impress King Solomon.
Yes, hopefully. Let's see if anyone manages to impress a little.
Hello. Maria.
-Hilde. Welcome to Nittedal. -Thanks.
- Madam Mayor, I assume? - That's it.
- Do you say Madam Mayor? - You say mayor, not madam.
- Can you say mayor-inne? - No.
"Impress the mayor."
“You have 20 minutes. Time starts now."
Can I do something, then?
This is about impressing the mayor of Nittedal.
Don't hold back on expectations. These are, after all, driven comedians.
They have an arsenal of tricks, tricks and knowledge-
about how to entertain high and low. This must be absolutely amazing!
-This was a cruel task! -Yes, the worst ever.
-Evil. -Fantastic!
- Let's start with Maria. - Take us through this.
-Why should I start? -Yes!
I'll show you something impressive.
Once I managed to get my pants on without using hands.
The last squeak is a bit ...
Do you like acrobatics, stripping or good speeches?
- Good talking. - Then I'll put the others away.
-What do you like, Hilde? -Policy.
I was at Unge Høyre’s [Norwegian Young Conservatives] national meeting a little while ago.
- Where are you politically? - Labor.
If I promise I will vote AUF [Workers’ Youth League] in the election ...
You cannot vote AUF. It's not a party.
I'm going to be ashamed.
Dear Mayor, I'm here today to talk about the public holiday.
-Do you have the count? -Three.
Are you sitting on top of it, Hilde?
But during the public holidays I thought of one thing.
-Impressive. -Thanks.
I read an article about how common it should be.
And then you can go back and ...
O weekend night
O holy moment for the world
Don't you hear what it is?
Yes, water drops. Impressive.
O weekend night!
You save us
Gav
-Can you morse? -No.
I can.
- Then it is done. -Impressive.
-Do you want a hug? -Yes.
- Can I hug you across the table? -Yes.
Thanks for sharing the moment.
-Good bye. -Good bye.
-What happened? -Panic!
-Where should I start? Siri! -Yes I know.
What were you thinking here?
You try to impress your speeches with the mayor.
The only thing the mayor does is talk.
And then you have to impress with a speech?
Are you going to impress Petter Northug [Olympic skier] with your skiing skills?
This was so uncomfortable that now I have to wash my eyes in advertising.
Welcome back to Kongen Befaler.
We are in the middle of a task to impress the mayor of Nittedal.
We're ready for Vegard.
I want desperation to be a kind of headline.
-What do you like? -Politics.
I'm not good at politics.
Oh, I have to go again.
Oi.
- I didn't know. -No.
I can try to play the most impressive I can.
I can't end or middle, but there is now something.
I'm good at sounding like a pig.
- It's not stupid. -A good pig.
Should you hear someone on their way to slaughter?
I've done what I can. Yes, I can show a trick.
- Nice, but very strange. -Likewise. Thank you.
I hope you got more out of it than me.
Here it was early in the bucket.
It was ... I would say it was legendary.
-Thanks. - I'd say it was a pain.
I've never gotten as hot as watching that clip.
Compared to the level we're used to delivering,
- so it's such a great distance.
Yes, we must move on.
- Can we look at Bård? - Yes, let's look at Bård.
What are your interests? What do you think is fun?
Politics.
Music, then? Do you have a song you like?
-Wild Child by Savage Rose. -I never heard that.
If I get a few minutes to prepare ...
Do you have an errand you could ... So you don't have to listen to the rehearsals.
I'm fine. I can go out, and you can practice.
Top.
Then I'll make an entrance, so it looks a little real.
There are many people in Nittedal who appreciate everything you do.
Today we think you should get something back.
-That was all. -Thanks.
-Have a nice day. -Likewise.
You cunning bastard.
It was tears! Sure there were tears. Fantastic!
Amazingly good job. That is impressive.
Thoroughbred-sociopath.
No one reads people better than psychopaths.
I also wanted to punch myself.
I understand that.
I got hot when I saw myself, but I was embarrassed when I saw it there.
It was a nasty atmosphere.
There are tears. What can you say?
There are often tears when it's a nasty mood.
We said that at home.
You are not the one to give points.
Is it Bård who is the most talented of you?
It seems you are Lazz in Staysman & Lazz. [Norwegian party tunes duo]
It was fun!
-No, it's all right. -I just think Vegard froze completely.
You sat like that when you played the piano.
It is okay. It's the snow that fell last year.
- But that's not the point. - The mayor will give.
Let me quote the mayor.
"The one who impressed me the least was Vegard. One point."
"I missed the enthusiasm and passion in your speech, Siri. Two points."
"There were a lot of arms and legs, although the mother was a bit impressive."
-Three points. -The mother was a bit impressive.
You got nothing to take off your pants.
-Think about it. -Unimaginable.
"I don't think Maria knew where she was going or what she was doing -
- but she sang O Weekend Night in a way I've never heard before. "
"I'll never forget that. Four points."
What she said about you, Bård, was:
"Bård intuitively understood how to hit-
- heart root and tear duct. Five points. "
Despite being embarrassed. -Yes.
These were wonderful things in every way.
Then I mean every way.
Now I have become greedy and grisly about things-
which is impressive in every way. I know we have something in the box.
Absolutely.
-Hi. -Hi.
"Say as many words as you can without the letter s."
"The task is over when you say a word with s."
"Or repeat a word. You have one minute. Time starts now."
"You have one minute. Time starts now."
Participants should say as many words as they can without using "s".
They can't repeat a word either, and they have one minute.
A classic task. I'm excited about how they solved it.
-Yes, it's varied. -Varies, yes?
-We start with Maria. -Yes.
"You have one minute. Time starts now."
Fly, båt, kaptein,- [Airplane, boat, captain -]
-katt, hund, fot, tå, negl,- [-cat, dog, foot, toe, nail -]
-hår, mage, kamera, bord, klype... [hair, stomach, camera, table, pinch …]
Land, jøde... [Country, Jew ...]
Flyktning. [Refugee.]
Arm. [Arm.]
Hore. [Whore.]
F ****.
Bøg. [Gay.]
Vagina.
Hardt. [Hard.]
Pøke. Ja. [Poke. Yes.]
Good bye.
I want to say that you are predictable.
It started so nice and popular, and then it went away in the darkest night.
That said, you are predictable.
It starts out fine -
and then you orient yourself toward the abdomen and stay there.
- Down and work. -It's impossible to leave.
-But it wasn't too bad. - No, 23 words.
-Can we have a look at Calle? -Yes.
Går det bra med deg? Det vet jo jeg at det gjør. [Are you OK? I know it does.]
Jeg har alltid beundret deg, Olli,- [I’ve always admired you, Olli, -]
-for måten du er på er veldig tiltalende for meg. [-for the way you are is very appealing to me.]
Jeg er en fyr s... Snakkes. [I’m a guy so ... Talk.]
Damn!
I'm unsure of the tactics of letting it run out.
But it is better than the little boy tactics Maria is using.
-We'll hear then. -It took a while-
- before you said "s", but you repeated "it" after five words.
- There were five words. -Awful.
You find it so miserable that you are almost happy with it.
Yes, when you first make it miserable, it makes real ass.
Now I need a respite, so now we go to advertising.
Welcome back to Kongen Befaler. We continue where we left off.
- Shall we look at Siri? -Yes, we will.
Okay. Mange, ord, du, klarer, uten. [Many, words, you, manage, without.]
Oppgaven, er, over. [The task is over.]
Fort, ett, eller, gjentar, minutt. [Fast, one, or, repeat, minute.]
Tiden, nå. [The time, now.]
Did I say ..?
Rake.
But I said many words without "s". Thanks.
Yes, yes, yes. It was an interesting trick you used there.
- You read it. It was law. -Yes.
But as you left the script, it was over quickly.
It describes me well.
Often I feel smart, but then I'm so stupid.
You managed 18 words then, so it wasn't too bad.
The worst thing is that it's not too bad.
We have two left. We have the brothers Åker.
We can take a look at them.
"You have one minute. Time starts now. "
Start.
- Should we look at Bård? -Yes, we have to look at Bård.
Det var en gang en mann. [Once upon a time there was a man.]
Han ville like ting. Han likte mange ting. [He wanted things. He liked many things.]
Han likte lange ting og korte. [He liked long and short things.]
Ting, ting, ting, tingen, tingene, fine ting. [Things, things, things, things, things, nice things.]
Men den tingen hadde et helt eget rom,- [But that thing had its very own room,-]
-der han hadde alle tingene. [-because he had all the things.]
Han, han, han, han, han, han... [He, he, he, he, he, he …]
"Or repeat a word." Shit task.
Did I get the best out of this?
There is so much here now.
First, I want to say that I like how you first agree on-
- how miserable your brother is doing, before you even go away and do it ...
-Slightly better! -Yes, a little better.
- Maybe, but it's not much. -No, it's small.
-You managed four words. -Yes, but there were no "s".
-No. -It's really good.
Yes ... That's awesome.
But it gives you a fourth place, right in front of Vegard.
How many points will you give to Vegard? Zero or one?
Zero points.
Calle, you become number three.
Siri, you get number two, while Maria gets five points.
- Who would have thought? - Who would have thought?
-Fantastic! -We can look at the leaderboard now.
After four rounds, Bård is the leader.
It is fantastic. It is much closer than one would have thought.
Fun to see that things are turned on their heads.
But now, as always, the last task is going to happen here in the studio-
in front of the audience, the viewers and me.
Get on stage!
Then we got on stage, -
-and you stand ready behind each of your boxes.
Now you have to be civilized. There are five tools.
Take one tool and return to the box you are behind.
Is it civilized?
Letter!
No! Damn. No.
Then you each have your tools. Keep it up so people can see it.
Lovely delivered.
Then you can be allowed to lift the box straight up.
Don't start anything, just lift it up.
- Put it down. -Fantastic.
You have jelly in front of you.
The task is: Eat as much jelly as you can in 45 seconds.
You are only allowed to use your tool.
You must not suck it in you or eat with your mouth.
-Take it up and eat from the tool. -Are you totally ..?
-Can I use this ladle? -You can use it.
45 seconds. Ready, set, go.
- You should not germinate this. -It's awesome, Vegard.
Now I think you're good.
It just falls off!
We're not going down, but can we bend forward?
Yes, it is allowed to bend down.
Everything that falls on the ground is lifted again.
Ten seconds left!
- Eight, seven, six ... -I have no reason to ...
Five. Eat!
Three, two, one and ...
It was pretty impressive, I would say.
I've seen enough, so if Olli can count and check the results,
-we take the summary afterwards.
May I ask what was the reason-
-that you chose your tool? I'm not asking Calle.
I had chosen it.
Yes, you had chosen it even if you were first.
- Happy with the choice, Vegard? -Scissors.
No, I'm not happy about that, because I could have chosen a ladle.
I came in the middle of it. It was nothing...
-Who chose first? -Me!
I responded as an Ex on the Beach participant when they said:
-Costume! -Costume!
-Do you watch Ex on the Beach? -No.
There is probably something intuitive in you, Maria, for when it comes up-
- something edible, it's like some goodies are coming over you.
I said nothing in four minutes. "Well, it must be eaten!"
And you had no idea ... But your body says.
You went for the saw, because you thought it was suitable.
- Well, it did too? -Yes.
Is it also something that comes intuitively? When something can be eaten, do you pick up the saw?
Then the case must go forward.
Now you use words I can't remember.
Do you have a good feeling, Siri?
It was strangely difficult to get the gel on the hammer.
Now you have said a sentence that has not been said before.
I imagine I can use a hammer for anything, -
but not to eat jelly.
- Should we go through the results? -Yes.
The one who came last is with the whip, Calle.
You ate half a pound less than the winner.
Half a pound less than the winner? Oi.
We take it from bottom to top.
Calle came at the bottom.
Bård, even if you had a leash, gets fourth place.
I hate jelly. I couldn't swallow it.
- So you just spit it out again? - No, but it stopped here.
If there’s anything that is difficult to swallow, that’s jelly.
Cut it out!
- Cut it out now! -I'm enjoying myself.
Don't be so tall in your hat, Vegard.
-You ate 45 grams more than Bård. -I had given up.
"Is there something hard to eat ..."
They are not food wrecks, the last three here.
But there are two food wrecks here.
Siri didn't eat much more than Vegard.
Whoever won with 500 grams more than Calle and 300 grams more than Siri, -
- It's you, Maria. Congratulations. You won this task.
Let's see how it looks together.
-And there it is close. -No!
But who won? Yes, it was Bård!
That means it is Bård who is today's winner.
Now you can enjoy the prizes you bring home to share and own.
Fantastic!
It is Vegard who leads in the aggregate, -
-but there are still many points to deal with.
See you again next week here from Drammens Teater.
Original Norwegian Text:Ayla Sofie Vedå www.btistudios.com