No!
“There’s Something Strange About That Plane”
A warm welcome to another episode of Kongen Befaler.
The program where I send my five permanent subjects-
-out on more or less meaningful tasks.
Finally, after 10 programs, there will be one worthy winner-
-of this bust in gold ...
...of me!
And the five who drool every week after this bust, -
- are Maria Stavang ...
... Calle Hellevang-Larsen, Jon Almaas ...
... Mia Hundvin, and Magnus Devold.
He can only dream of winning this bust, -
-but he still chooses to be here every busy week, -
-my clerk and secretary, Olli Wermskog.
Yes, thank you. It's nice and fun to be here every week. It must...
Let's rather talk about what the scores look like so far.
-Take us through it, Olli. -Oh yes, am I allowed to?
At the top is Calle with 53 points. Pretty closely followed by Jon with 52.
Then it's ten points down to Mia, 42. 40, and 39 at the bottom, then. Magnus Devold.
Then we begin. Isn’t that right? We are starting the first task now.
Olli, you're ready for tonight’s very first task.
Absolutely. As always, the first task is-
-to bring something, a thing or something else, in a given category.
And that, Atle, today ... Are you looking forward to it today?
Looking forward to it. I have for once-
-given you the responsibility to not only create the task, -
- but to lead it in addition. - Do you want to know how?
Today's task: Bring something you have stolen from Atle.
Yes...
It’s too late to withdraw responsibility.
I wonder if we should start with Maria.
You own a bar. [true]
And I thought, "This is a great place to steal."
I have the in last three months-
-stolen one by one, these beer glasses from Meyers bar. [name of Atle’s bar]
Wow!
- Are we on ... - You didn’t notice anything!
What? No, I didn’t. I admit that.
Had I been standing behind the bar every night, something I don’t do, -
- I might have discovered it. Strange they didn’t discover it.
-I think there is someone who must be fired. -Fired?
Or someone has to go back with the glasses they stole!
-The task is solved in many ways. -I'm moving on.
-Magnus. -Yes.
I'm so happy to travel.
- Did he get minus points last time? - Yes.
They sit loose, the minus points.
Therefore, it was extra nice to be able to steal your passport.
Yes, that's my passport!
I don’t need it at the moment. It's not important.
Do I get it back when the Corona is gone?
I’ll see if I win the episode. You control it.
-Jon. -Yes.
-I... -I have to say that I ...
... have taken something from your office, where we in the program get the tasks.
There was a decorative object that I liked.
It was on the back of the shelf, and it looks like this.
- It's a clock. - Yes.
Yes, a small correction. There are some who work-
-by putting things in there to make it look good on TV.
And I've never seen that clock before.
It’s the producers’ clock.
They kind of try to decorate so it will look nice on TV.
Are you thinking of the prop Atle Hansen? [orienteering champion]
I was going to steal something from Atle, and I did.
Yes...
-I'm moving on. Mia. -Yes, move on.
Yes, Atle, you were having dinner.
No, Mia! No!
No!
And today you got a little mashed potato.
And you got a little mad about that.
So ... here.
Yes, I got little mashed potatoes! Too little. There it is!
Yes, but ...
-Yes, it is... -Irritating?
Yes! Damn you.
-Calle. -Yes, this was very difficult.
I don’t know you very well, so it ended with-
-me driving to your house this morning and robbing you of your mailbox.
There's mail in here.
So the way I see it, I'm doing you a favor. You can read your mail.
-At work. -It's ...
- That wasn’t bad! - No.
-Have you made up your mind? -More opinions, actually.
I almost have to take who’s most on the ball here.
He who stole from props Atle, doesn’t come out of this very well.
So we drive you to the bottom.
- Do we do that? - Yes, we do.
And you second last because of the beer glasses.
You should have stolen something more valuable.
I don’t like you taking my food, but you come in third place, Mia.
I have to go for what is most impressive.
That's my passport. I have to say that.
This is ... Second place to Calle. Then we put up the day's first points.
-Magnus runs away with five points. -Yes, he does.
This was well resolved. Terrible task, of course!
We are going to get a new task, and now I want something like ...
I want to see a kind of pest control at the spectacular end of the scale.
You ask for a lot, but you ask well. Let's look at that.
Hey, Olli. A mouse?
Is that so ... Yes, it is.
-Make a trap this mouse should go into. -Most spectacular ...
I don’t mind being the one who can’t read.
Make a trap this mouse should go into. The most spectacular, specta--
-... spectacular mousetrap wins. -You have 30 minutes. Time starts now.
We're so damn good at stalling!
Participants must create a mousetrap, -
-and make the mouse fall into the trap that King Antonsen-
-thinks is most spectacular, or what, Maria?
- "Spectacular." - Right.
We can start by seeing Flåklypa's big sons, Magnus and Jon.
We do it.
I start with a pipe.
Jon has probably taken out half of what’s in the shed.
And then he has to put it together into an overly complicated trap.
The mouse comes in, and then there is a drag in it.
And then ... It is reasonably easy to achieve.
And then it went right in there. Now I have made a cheese rack.
We'll tempt the mouse to go into the tube, -
-and fall directly into the meat grinder.
I have used the meat grinder because it’s a more humane death than a bucket.
If you see the delicious piece of cheese, then go and get it now.
The thread goes through the hole here.
I can add one more item.
I feel that I am too old to drive and bend steel wire.
Father!
One and a half minutes left.
Up here.
-Right? You saw what happened? -Yes.
We'll see, then.
No more time for testing. Just to do it. We turn it on.
The grinder is at max.
Last try!
I don’t have time for more now, do I? Just push it down. Goodbye!
Yes...
Well ... There!
The mouse goes there.
Just as planned!
What are you going to do with the mouse after the hat has come up?
-Should it die of loneliness? -Then you have several options.
You can kill, eat or play with it, -
- give it to children as pets, sell it at the pet market in China.
-There are many possibilities. -You had not come across them-
-if you didn’t think about it beforehand. Are you planning what to do?
No, there are endless possibilities. Killing a mouse is too barbaric.
-We are in 2020. -Then we'll go to you, Magnus.
You who had the meat grinder at the end. What were you going to do with the mouse?
There is so much delicious you can make.
Are we talking tiny little sliders?
Sliders or small Mexican tacos, such small flatbread.
- With mouse? - We have three more left.
Mia, Maria and Calle, in a short film. It may be an obscure reference, -
-but I have chosen to call it George Price's solution.
Wow!
What a mousetrap!
It’s easy to think of flames.
I want flames.
I'm thinking of flames. It's very spectacular.
Spectacular means ...
Wow! (“Maria’s Mousetrap”)
-You're welcome. -Are you ready?
The most important thing for me is that it should burn.
I think that’s spectacular. (“Mia’s Mousetrap”)
Now we light a candle.
We light it for joy.
Oi!
Oh my God!
"The most spectacular"?
I'm going to give the mouse a Viking death. (“Calle’s Mousetrap”)
Here comes my mousetrap, "The Last Sail".
-No, but we must choose a winner. -You're welcome.
The one who comes last is actually you, Calle.
-Why? -Because you only buried one mouse.
No! I was kind and gave him a funeral when he died, -
-instead of leaving him there like a scrap.
So it fell one centimeter from the sloping beam and down on the barrel ...
There lies the cheese, he thinks. Then he dies at his happiest.
You got last place. It isn’t allowed to withdraw a placement, -
- so it will be last place. Magnus. - What? Mine died, right?
No, well, it didn’t work.
The trap didn’t work.
You even used five attempts to put it in the hole with your hand.
-I would call that a failure. -Yes.
Second place.
First place obviously goes to Jon with a very successful trap.
You get first place.
Then we can see how you are doing together after two tasks.
-Overall. It is very close! -Very even.
Mia and Magnus are at the very top, but we don’t stop there.
We're firing a new task, and now it's time to get our heart rate up a bit.
-Isn’t it, Olli? -Yes, but not very much.
-Hi. -Hi.
"Records must be broken. Boundaries must be broken."
“Ring the bell when you have a pulse of 123."
Pulse of 123?
-And this is ... a heart rate belt? -Yes.
What is a normal pulse, then?
This ... I feel Jon is my competitor here.
So it's about raising your heart rate to 123 beats per minute.
The first to wear the heart rate belt ...
-Can I suggest Maria and Calle? -You can suggest that.
Do I accept it? Yes, I do.
I have it almost there.
-Are you good at heart rate? -A little good.
I tend to be pretty good at heart rate. I often wear a heart rate monitor.
-What do you think your heart rate is now? -Now I think it's like 60.
Yes.
I usually have a fairly low heart rate, low resting heart rate, -
-but then it pops up as soon as I get a little nervous.
And now I'm a little nervous, so now I'm betting around 123.
I'm going to get really tired.
Then I guess, after a while, that the pulse goes down.
Like Ole Einar Bjørndalen. [“King of Biathlon”] His heart rate goes down after he is tired.
Caught by a storm wind ... [1991 Eurovision winner; Swedish]
One, two, three, four. One, two...
Pardon.
Peekaboo!
Now I have a pulse of 123.
-OK. -I think so.
Can you count to ten in the following way? One thousand one, one thousand two, ...
-Then I'll count here. -Yes.
One thousand one, one thousand two, one thousand three, one thousand four, one thousand five, one thousand six,
One thousand seven, one thousand eight, one thousand nine, one thousand ten.
I was 23 when you got to ten, so it must be 123. Have it!
To you first, Maria. Isn't it annoying to think about-
-that if you had stood completely still and rang the bell at once, -
- you would have won? - Yes.
Calle. You felt your pulse, -
-and I just want you to take me through the math.
You felt it, and came to the conclusion that it was 23 strokes in ten seconds.
And then you still landed on 123 in total.
-Help me through the math. -It's how I calculate my heart rate.
I count for ten seconds, then I add 100.
OK.
There are several pulses to be measured. I am excited about the other participants.
In fact, so excited ...
Now you have to keep up, because now comes a strong professional transition in television.
... that I have to lower my heart rate a few notches with an ever so small break.
We are back here on Kongen Befaler, and we’re measuring heart rates.
Olli, whose heart rate are we going to measure now?
I thought we would take the pulse of two world champions, Mia and Jon.
OK, the heart rate belt is on. But I have to get 123 in pulse.
-Then I just have to get my heart rate up. -Jon is a pulse nerd.
So he has to fight. 123.
Then you are in the fat burning zone. So 123 should be light jogging.
The problem is that I am in such damn good condition, -
-so it's not a given that I get my heart rate up.
Jon has done that.
And then he felt the pulse.
It wasn’t far away, in fact.
I rang the bell when I was 121, maybe.
It must be precise enough in this context.
I can’t miss!
No!
"The problem is that I am in such damn good condition"?
You're damn annoying here, Jon!
-For a damn annoying type. -Yes, but ...
And even more annoying that you say you probably had 121 when it was 120.
It's annoying close. Now you were very annoying at once.
It was an annoying task, too. Jogging in the stall to get your heart rate up.
It’s possible, but don’t take it beyond us.
No, but it was close, that.
And Mia, annoying that you were where Jon was, and then you let it ...
You are in too good shape, because when you stop ...
People in my form have a rising heart rate long after.
You have to take it from the bottom. You went straight down again. Too good shape!
It isn’t possible to measure your heart rate correctly when you are in such good shape.
- What do you have to say, Mia? Irritating... - Of course it's annoying-
-when I stand on fucking 120 ... Sorry for the language.
... and then you stand ... You're so stupid sometimes!
It's so close! An arm's length, right, Magnus?
- Now I hope you win at 121. - You'll be hard to beat, -
- but it can work! - It can work.
- It can go. Yes! - Shall we check?
- We're checking. - I think it's okay.
There is probably only one thing to do to get your heart rate up.
Get scared.
-I thought something bouncy-like. -Yes.
If you have bounced or are ready to do something.
-Paintball? -Yes!
No!
No, don’t shoot!
- Don’t shoot? - Don’t shoot. No!
No!
Shouldn’t I ...
-What did you come up with? -Surely too high.
I think I've never been so scared before.
-No... -Get out!
Yes! Even with panic and fear of death, you have a lower heart rate than calm Calle.
So ... yes.
At least that means we have a winner.
We've all seen it. Jon came in first place with five points, -
-Mia, three to Magnus, two to Calle, and finally one to Maria.
Yes! Big applause for them.
And now...
Now we'll get a slightly airy task which I know is not quite A4. [letter size]
No, it's a little more A2. [larger]
Yes, that's not a joke. Just the facts.
Oh no.
- Hi. - "Make this sheet fly as far as possible."
"The distance is measured in a horizontal line."
"You have 20 minutes and only one attempt.”
-Time starts now." -I have not read lately.
"You have 20 minutes and only one attempt.”
So it’s important to prepare. And then you have one ...
And then it says here: "Time starts now."
-Bought you 30 seconds there. -Yes.
-You have to buy where you ... -Buy can?
Now I'm wasting time talking to you about it.
Yes, the task is reasonably straightforward. Make the A2 sheet fly as far as possible.
How they make the sheet fly is entirely up to them.
There are always some solutions that seem more obvious than others.
Here we have the Wright family, Magnus, Mia and Calle.
This is a flying technique that I learned when I was quite young.
This is the world's best paper airplane, to say the least.
"Paper planes that fly far. This is how you fold."
Very ... Or long-haul flights.
- We don’t have a drone here, do we? - I think I saw one in the shed.
-Is it? -That's it.
This is a helicopter. A drone has four propellers.
One, two, three, four.
OK. Talk to you soon, and keep up the good work.
There was something strange about the plane.
That's not how I remember it.
What? Is this law?
Why are you so mean?
-Are you ready? -Yes.
I'm a little disappointed.
There are some windows, aren’t there?
How long does it take to drive to Holmenkollen? [National Arena site]
-Thirteen. Soon only 15 minutes left. -13 minutes? And I had ...?
-It's perfect! -Perfect.
Can I get bold, Top Gun-like music?
OK.
Fly!
It was a bit disappointing.
Then we have to do it here, then. Are you ready? Three, two, one, and ...
-Yes. -Yes.
-It's short. -And it's short.
Yes, Calle? Did you get paid well for that trip to Holmenkollen?
Awesome place. Recommend everyone to take the trip up there.
- For a view! - It's nice up there.
I want to talk a little bit about how to build paper airplanes, Magnus.
You have a lot of paper in front of you, so you used most of it on the fuselage?
And with a few stamps for wings? You've made the paper airplane ostrich.
-It's an emu, what you made. -It tried to stick his head in the sand.
- It actually made it happen. - It did.
Mia, relatively successful in the competition.
- Even if that’s not saying much. - I don’t understand that.
He says he thinks you did well, but it wasn’t impressively far.
-Don't put words in my mouth again. -I'm sorry. Do you want results?
-Magnus' sheet flew 14 meters. -Good.
Yes...
-Mia ... went 26.9 meters. Yes. -No?
Yes, and Calle, eight meters.
-Eight meters. -Eight meters from Holmenkollen.
It's a kind of new record.
The worst effort Holmenkollen has seen.
Mia, you are the one who leads so far.
I thought we could see if Jon or Maria managed to catch up with this.
Yes, we will, but before that, and now you must follow closely again, -
-as we fly through a small advertising break.
Welcome back to Kongen Befaler.
We have two participants left who will make the sheet of paper fly as far as possible.
Mia leads so far, but will it hold up?
We'll see. Here are Jon and Maria.
I will make this sheet fly as far as possible.
I have the best idea.
The sheet here, in a rope, take it uphill and drive down.
Ropes and strips.
This is my job, Olli. The task people will remember me for.
Like that. Now it flies.
About here.
Even Magnus hasn’t thought of this.
Maybe Jon, because he's as smart as I am.
If I take this sheet, attach it to a string to a stick, -
-sitting in a car, the sheet flies after the car.
Silver tape.
I almost have to smile at how ingenious it is.
One, two, three, run!
Can you push me?
Are you kidding? Didn’t I get farther?
This should go much better than what I had imagined.
And then ... I keep it that way.
Yes, but the sheet flies!
Yes.
It flies fine.
Of course I'm smiling.
I'm happy now when I know I'm nailing the competition.
-The sheet flies. -So good!
You can turn off here. That's how far I got.
Good luck to the others.
Jon, just so I know how you think ...
Where do you want to put the line between flying and dangling?
No, planes are when you are in minimal motion going forward, -
-but we all know that a plane ... Just put your hand down.
I answer the question during my lecture.
Imagine a plane show.
A plane that stalls, that drives up, stops, and then falls down, -
-you don’t say: "The plane doesn’t fly!" It's out on a flight, right?
-This is out on a car trip. -Yes!
-The car is on a trip, but the sheet flies. -On May 17 [Constitution Day], when you see a flag, -
- do you want to say: "Look how nicely the flag flies on the pole"?
It's exactly the same! Nothing that flies is attached.
-Yes, yes, yes. -No, it isn’t!
When did this start to become a debate? Debate or skill competition?
Jon, I think you just got owned.
- Not by you. You did the same. - We judge you on the same principle.
But I'm just proud that I did the same as Jon Almaas.
- Calm down now, Maria. - Not exactly the same.
Nice that you are happy, even if it isn’t approved.
-Shall we go for some points? -Yes.
How far did Maria and Jon's sheets dangle?
Mary's ark actually dangled 34.5 meters.
Jon's sheet dangled for 6.2 kilometers.
-I came to Storokrysset. [major intersection] -And ... Listen now.
You will get approved, but I deduct 99.9% of the length.
How much will it be then, Olli, if we subtract 99.9% of the length?
I drive and count. Then it will be 6.2 meters for Jon.
Yes, still relatively good.
-And then it will be ... -It's the worst!
-And then it's 0.03 meters for Maria. -Yes.
-Mia, you get first. -Yes, yes, yes!
Not bad.
Then we can see how you are doing so far.
Yes, it is Mia in the lead, but only two points down to Magnus.
This is exciting, folks. We prepare for the last task.
It happens, as always, here in the hall. This will happen in front of the audience.
Now we’ve moved up on stage. Magnus, you're standing there with a letter.
Open it and read it aloud.
"Grape in hand or mouth.
Each participant takes a grape from the bowl and hides it in hand or in mouth.
-while they move forward to the mark on the floor.
Here they have to answer a question from Atle.
Atle must guess whether the participant is hiding the grape in their hand or mouth.
You can’t swallow or chew the grape.
If Atle guesses wrong, the participant goes on to a new round.
If Atle guesses correctly, the participant is out of the competition."
-Slowly and clearly read. -Yes.
In any case, you should try to fool Atle. Here are the grapes.
We start with Maria.
You're welcome.
Describe a unicorn to me.
Pink.
Yes...
It got a little tricky, it. It did. It got tricky.
-What are you guessing? -That she had it in her mouth.
Is this right?
Yes, now you have it in your hand, but you had it in your mouth.
-I had it. That's OK! -To the bench.
Next! We can take ... Mia.
Explain the difference between dekars [measure of land area] and acres.
I can’t.
That was the answer.
Then I guess you have it in your mouth!
-You can go back in place. -You go on to the next round.
Jon! Take your place. Bring a grape.
Incredibly stupid.
-You choose the back-to technique? -Yes, because it's a technique.
I have to say that.
Yes. Tell me your five favorite words beginning with S.
-S. -Sirupsnipper.
Slalåmski.
Seipanetter.
Slips.
And Swarovski-krystaller.
You have it in your mouth.
-Yes. -Yes!
Go and sit with Maria.
Calle. Bring a grape.
In which situations is felt-tip pen preferable to pen?
If you go to drawing school.
You have it in your hand.
Do you have it in your mouth?
You move on!
Magnus.
Last person in round one.
- Are you trying to fool me? - Yes.
You have misunderstood. It's Atle you have to fool.
Hey, Atle.
Can you say "Ibsen's currant bushes and other shrubs"? [common tongue-twister]
Ibsens ripsbusker og andre buskvekster.
-You have it in your hand. -That’s correct.
Yes ... Go and sit down.
We have a finale between Mia and Calle.
Calle, you have to start round two.
-You should do the same. -I'm taking it.
Name five things ...
... a snake is an expert on.
Mice.
Crawling. To snake away.
Swallowing things whole.
The hand.
Mia.
If you manage to fool Atle now, then you win alone.
If you don’t succeed, you share first place with Calle.
Describe a stop sign in five words.
White.
Yes, no, there's a little difference ...
-Mouth. -Shit.
Was it in your mouth? Yes, then we have two winners.
Two winners!
We go back to our seats and summarize the program.
Yes, it was a fun task. Then it's ... Shall we see here.
Jon, Maria and Magnus, three points each. Calle and Mia, five points each.
Then we take a look at the score for the whole evening, -
-and who runs away with today's victory? Mia, with 21 points. Get on stage!
Accept all this loot.
Just wait for the phones to ring to get it back.
I'm not saying who called them.
There are many points to fight for. See you next time. Thanks for tonight.
Norwegian text: Monica Mikkelsen www.iyunomg.com