“Finnish Sour”
A warm welcome to Kongen Befaler, -
- the show where five relatively well-known participants-
-are given thousands of totally unfamiliar tasks-
-to see if they are fit to get this into their home: a bust in gold of me!
And these five are, as always, Maria Stavang, Calle Hellevang-Larsen, -
-Jon Almaas, Mia Hundvin, and Magnus Devold!
Yes!
And by my side, my mental caretaker and zealous accountant:
-Olli Wermskog. -Thanks. That was nice.
I was just wondering if it’s possible to be allowed to say something?
Of course you can say something, but not now. Jon!
Let's look at the total score so far. You're leading.
-138. Are you in shape too early? -I can be fast. Therefore...
Can it be punishing to be on top before entering the final rounds?
What I've seen before, and especially lately ...
Last couple of years, cyclists have been leaders and think they have won.
Stretch their arms in the air, and then someone else comes and passes them.
- It's Mia. - No no no.
It can be anyone here. It’s important to hold the handlebars-
-and go full throttle until you are over the finish line.
There isn’t much more to wait for. We start with the first task.
We will start with something that many can recognize themselves in.
What's the first task of the day, Olli?
The participants were given the task of bringing something that is easy to spell wrong.
You must judge who has a solution that deserves five points, -
-and who deserves four points, three points, two points, and one point.
As always, these will be placed in a pot that the winner walks away with.
But now that’s enough talk. I want to see what you have with you.
I'm wondering if we should start with you, Jon.
You have something that is easy to spell wrong.
I have something that is difficult to spell.
-That's a different way of saying it. -Yes, absolutely.
It is a fish soup from Provence-
-which is called bouillabaisse.
-Bouillabaisse? -Smoking fresh.
Fantastic. It's absolutely fabulous.
And bouillabaisse, yes.
-It's hard to spell. -That's why I brought it.
- We're moving on to Calle. - I have brought a word.
If not that word, then at least one of the words people most often misspell.
It's the word “abonnement” [subscription; misspelled on tablet].
What people often do wrong is that they use two Bs and one N.
The correct way to write it is with one B and two Ns.
- “Abonnepabt"? - What about the ending?
It's not that important, just remember that there is one B and two Ns.
-Mia, what do you have with you? -I was thinking of bringing a human.
Actually Marit Breivik [handball player], but it was too easy to spell.
-Heidi Tjugum [handball player], is it K or T? -T. Those are references very few will get.
-Here it comes. -Yes.
I've brought an actor. He couldn’t come.
-Matthew McConaughey! -In fact. It's also hard to say.
It took me several years to learn that it was "McConaugh-hey".
-I said "McConaugh-you". -There are many who say that.
It’s not “you” in the end. No, it's impossible.
I don’t think he can do it himself.
Good. Properly solved. Maria, what do you have?
I have ... Trommevirvel [drum roll].
-A bucket? -With béarnaise.
Ow, that’s hot!
Is it...?
-Is there a bucket of béarnaise? -Yes, it's béarnaise.
-It's ten liters of "bernisce". - "Bernisce", yes.
I never learned how to say it.
I always say: "I take beef with 'bernisce'".
That's why many just say "béarne." Cuts out half the word.
Can't you just say "B"? "Can you give me a bowl of B?"
What is confusing is whether it is E and A or just E.
Whether it is "bérnaise" or "béarnaise", for example.
I have no idea. I write it "bernisce".
"Bernisce". I made ten liters just to be sure.
The task is solved, at least.
-Magnus. -Hi.
Lots of French, fun and fresh here.
I have a Norwegian word that I have all my life thought I could spell.
It turns out I couldn’t. It's "havregrøöt." [oatmeal]
What?
What is this?
That’s double trouble. There’s both an umlaut and a slash.
- "Grøöt." - It was a new twist.
The task is definitely solved. I have to try to give some points here.
This is one of the worst ones. Of course, everyone has solved the task, -
-and that's all right, all right.
I choose the winner right away, and it’s "havregrøöt".
-It's impossible. -Calle in second place with four points.
Mia on third, Maria on fourth, and Jon, amazingly, starts at the bottom.
- Yes, it's amazing. - We're moving on.
There are five points on the board.
That’s after the first task. So it's for Magnus.
That is it, and as I said, we must move forward in the program.
Now I think you deserve a little breath on the ground, Olli.
-And you deserve a little drink. -Thanks for that.
Give it to me. I'm going to take over your job.
- Sit back, Olli. - Thanks. I appreciate that.
You must. Stay tuned now.
Scroll up.
I like this, Olli!
"Serve Olli the most inviting drink."
"You have to be on the outside of the barriers throughout the task."
“You have 20 minutes. Time starts now.”
Be careful. It’s completely ordinary grass.
You should be glad that there are barriers between us.
The task is thus based on the following ...
You know what, I said that. Just relax, I'll do the sales pitch for this.
Calm down. Watch how it’s done.
-I'm not directly dissatisfied. -I'm enjoying myself.
-The task ... You're catching up? -Absolutely.
Good. It involves making a drink for Olli.
The drink I think is the most inviting, wins.
This isn’t about taste, but about aesthetics.
We start with Mia, Jon and Magnus.
My tactic is to get this loop around the table, -
-and then pull the table closer to me.
I just have to ... This thing, do you have to wear it?
It's very clunky for me.
Like that. It's fine for good boys.
-Satisfied? -Yes.
Yes ... It's possible.
This goes like crazy.
Important not to fall for the temptation to go too hard.
No!
It’s possible to save a lot of this.
The long arms ... I have to remember to appreciate them more.
I don’t need more. A little melon never hurt anyone.
This is actually going to be good.
Then we take some rum and some gin.
A little tequila ... Small dash of vodka.
Then there's our friend, ginger beer.
Since we are out of tropical juice, we can make our own.
It's better when it's homemade, at least when I make it.
Then we mix it and make the flavors grow into each other.
I thought it would be a little more.
- Been to such fancy drinking places? - Yes.
-Very much twig. -Small dash of rum.
It's sour but good.
It’s called “Finnish sour.” Named after you. [Olli is Finnish]
Yes!
There, yes. Then it is served.
You have to stretch your arm a little.
-God, so great. -Wow.
So, you should be glad this is not judged by taste.
-Yes ... What do you think? -I think we can move on.
He is the only one who thought that one shouldn’t use raw materials from the table.
-But pick them up inside your house. -Quite fascinating.
-It didn’t say that it wasn’t allowed. -Shall we take a look at it?
-Let’s take a look. -Both Calle and Maria.
I'm coming, Olli.
A kind of bad Heidi's. [Norwegian chain of beer bars]
Fantastic. What a tactic.
Then it was tequila, whiskey and gin.
This should transport the drink to the destination. Via zipline.
Then you get the juice from it, and some decorations.
-Look here. -Yes.
Then all that remains is to serve.
-You can enjoy it yourself. -Thanks.
A three-liter champagne drink.
A very fun drink.
-Two minutes left. -They go fast, those minutes.
Small speck to top it all off.
A small lilac twig.
-Now your drink is coming soon. -Thanks.
Hello. Was it you who ordered the big champagne fruit experience?
You're welcome.
Thank you.
Yes ... I just want to ask, Calle. What does "inviting" mean to you?
Running a bar depends on getting customers.
If you see someone get such a drink, it’s clear you want to order one yourself.
I kind of agree with you. It was really superbly served.
But Olli messed it up by not accepting.
He saw it coming for a long time.
-Full support from yours truly. -So it's my fault?
Of course it's your fault. It’s always your fault.
-But then we distribute points. -We distribute points.
There is no doubt that the best ending was Mia’s.
You should get five points for it. Calle should get four points.
He gets that for the total package. Everything was perfect until he fucked up.
So there are four there. I think we put Jon in the middle.
I said you could end up in third place, and you did.
-Shit in the middle. -I think you should be happy.
-I'm brilliantly happy. -Maria ...
Maria, Maria ... I'm almost tired of saying that.
- We haven’t talked about my drink. - I can't lie either.
I haven’t talked about your drink. It gets one point, as deserved.
Magnus, two points. Big applause.
Here it was Mia who got the highest score.
Shall we see the total after two tasks?
-Tied at the top. -Can I still win the season?
It’s getting urgent. I don’t want to say more than that.
Otherwise we see that Calle is at the top, and then it is evenly down. Jon!
Slightly weak start. Must get along.
Have a little to go on, but not all the world.
-Atle, do you like theater? -I love theater.
-No no no! -What?
- Why do you say no? - Don’t you love theater?
-I'm afraid of what's coming. -Yes, correct.
- I am especially fond of ... - Puppet theater.
I love puppetry. That's the best I know.
-It's pretty embarrassing, too. -Sometimes.
-Do you remember this task? -Yes.
-Are you looking forward to seeing the task? -Yes!
Maria is always positive. You should have that.
-Should we just get started? -Will do. I’m looking forward.
-Oh. -I'm pissed already.
“Set up a puppet theater for thought.” [wordplay on “food for thought”]
“For thought”? Damn.
"Maximum one act in one minute."
"30 minutes until the show starts."
Here you just have to find popcorn and handkerchiefs, -
-and get ready to cry and laugh at each other.
The participants must therefore set up a puppet theater for a maximum of one minute, -
- for thought. - For a positive bunch!
Many are looking forward to seeing the results.
-I'm really looking forward to this. -Maybe to see the others.
There is an even and fine level of this. You should have it.
Maybe we should start with Maria, and put on Calle and Magnus.
Oh, alas. I'm just a lonely little housewife.
My husband is at sea, and my children have moved out a long time ago.
Far out in the field in Norway somewhere.
Hello, I'm garlic. I just came here to this country.
Go back to the country you came from!
My name is Atle Antonsen.
I look forward to tyrannizing my five participants once again.
Hello. We are your participants.
What idiotic tasks are you going to make us do today?
Yes, the nuts and the grapes should be in separate bowls.
Knock knock.
-Who’s there? -Hi.
It's Sebastian, the plumber who's going to come and fix your mess.
What is it, salad? Are you dying?
It's the pissed off aphids that are cracking down on you.
Oh no, I'm falling off a cliff.
Help me!
We can’t. They have already ordered us to sort the grapes and nuts!
- Are you a plumber? - Yes, and you’re speaking with my accent.
Yes, I do. Oh, cuddle a little!
But wait ... Ha ha!
It's just me, your husband. I tricked you.
Now I know you'll never be unfaithful, no matter how long I'm at sea.
Oh no, I'm dying!
Oh no!
The moral is: Don’t give your participants stupid tasks.
Then they can’t help you if you fall off a cliff.
For thought.
Our smell can scare away aphids. Now your friend is healthy.
My God, I suddenly feel much better.
I'm voting for the garlic ... Yes, you can live here as much as you want.
Thank you very much, assistant. We have no other place to stay.
That's how garlic came to Norway.
But it also reflects a societal problem, -
- namely xenophobia and racism.
Thank you.
Yes, Calle ...
This can go straight into the cultural schoolbag.
There's another big problem in 2020. Think about it.
It is very quickly done in a theater like this that you end up in stereotypes.
Why should the poor carrot be the racist southerner?
Carrot goes very well with that. What other dialect should it have?
But well staged. You played many characters at once.
-I think it was pretty great. -The whole gang has done a great job.
Magnus, you must have known that you didn’t flatter me.
No, I didn’t.
No, for your moral is that I will not give you idiotic tasks.
This is about abuse of power and about rich and poor.
Those who have a lot and those who have little.
Everyone must be treated well, otherwise it can come and bite you in the ass.
I really like that you say "for thought”.
It’s not certain that everyone knew it was for thought.
Fantastic. Maria, I must say.
This was interesting. It was a kind of erotic foot theater.
You thought you were going to see something you have never seen on Norwegian TV before, -
-but then it was about infidelity and that one must never be unfaithful anyway.
-The moral was quite clear. -Atle! What comes after the first act?
-Second act. -But between them ...
-Between the second and first act ... Pause? -Yes.
Welcome back. We are in the middle of a marathon of meaningful puppet theater, -
-and now it's Mia's turn.
It will be exciting to see what important topic you have focused on.
Do you have something you want to say before we roll the film?
I’m sorry.
-That’ll do. -Then let’s look at it.
Welcome to this puppet show, -
-which is a reflection of a day in traffic.
Have you seen, there's narrowing up there. We have to get in one lane.
There's a narrowing down there. I think I'm driving all the way there.
It's best for everyone. Then the queue goes much faster.
Everyone should do the same. Tut-tut!
I just want to make it efficient for everyone so this can go smoothly.
But that is not law. It must be fair; go to the back of the queue!
The moral is that the rule is that everyone should drive all the way, -
-don't yell at those who do.
So do not shout at me when I try to save time for everyone who comes after.
Thank you.
Damn, then.
This is what you need.
-It's a topic that engages you. -It does.
You get sourer and sourer. You are really deeply engaged.
In addition, you arouse fierce appeal, especially in the group of white men over 50.
People like me and Jon.
The world would be a better place if people learned the rules of the road!
That braid is so hard for people. You hit me in the heart.
A theme that is so pointed to us who are only concerned with preparing.
-Jon, you're concerned about this. -Yes, but if I can poke a little ...
A puppet theater should be such that the audience can see from where they are sitting.
-But it's just minutia. -Absolutely.
That's lovely. There's only one left.
I like that you go out so high now.
I calmly sit down in the boat. Put your hands down.
... from above and down on Mia. Then you do not sit in the boat.
But now I'm completely calm. We can cut out the previous one I said.
No. I'm just wondering if you're as excited as we are.
You're the man in the yellow leader jersey. It's a soaring level.
Let’s look at what Jon has set up.
There were once three brothers.
The eldest brother's name is Kjell. He was a real happy boy.
He woke up in the morning and thought, "A new day!"
"This is going to be lovely. Can't wait to see what this day has to offer."
The youngest brother is Morten. He was a depressed bitch.
"Oh no, one more day."
"I'm probably going to die. I'm going to get cancer ... "
And then there was middle-aged boy Elvis. He was a more neutral type.
"Is it raining today? Then I put on a raincoat."
"It was cold today. Then it's a bubble jacket."
Then it was like that ...
-And then time’s up. -Then the minute was over.
-Was time up? -Yes. It would take a minute.
Here was someone who miscalculated the time quite powerfully.
The little I got to see now, I think it was for thought.
Imagine that in one family there can be three so different, -
- but still interesting ... And the Elvis?
It is also for thought. There are many things to think about here.
-Jon, we have the rest. -Yes. I see you want to see the rest.
We can’t take it all, but we will see some of the rest.
It’s not judged by the rest, but it’s fun to watch.
The assessment only goes on the one minute we have seen.
But the show you claim it was ... We'll look at some of that.
Then they set out on the journey of a lifetime.
Oh, look at that. There's the gold.
That's where we're going.
First it was Kjell, the eldest boy. He ran away, forgetting to look for himself.
Fell on his nose.
Got a nail in the eye, went blind, and spent the rest of his days ...
As he pondered, he forgot to eat and became thinner and thinner.
That was the last we saw of him. That's why he went instead ...
He became a professional football player, and made a living as one.
He became an expert on corners, and became a rich football player.
Thank you. Snip, snap, snout, then that adventure is done.
-Is it long until you have a birthday? -It's been a while.
I know what you want. Times.
-Can you say how long he spent? -Yes. 7 minutes and 23 seconds.
-No. -Yes. It's seven times.
And worst of all, I saw nothing to think about.
I can extend it to: "This was boring!"
"This must never happen again. We must never have such an experience again."
It is for thought. But I am not richer for the experience.
I am poorer for the experience. And yet we have not given the points.
Now I come to the points. One point!
And there is a lot. It pays well.
-This is ... -Hush!
- It's harassment. - That's how I experienced it.
-It's pure harassment. -It's you who are bullying me.
- You don’t know how painful it was. - An artist who works-
-should not be judged on the basis of such materialistic criteria.
-Two points to you, Maria. -Yes.
Magnus, I hear what you're saying. I don’t agree. There will be three points.
Then there are only two candidates left, and they were actually not bad.
Mia gets four points for the commitment. Five points go to Calle!
I was excited. Made me hot.
-I'm hungry for more fun, Olli. -I think I know why you're hungry.
Hello. Oh!
Medister. [spiced sausage]
Do you realize how much I love medister cakes? Say they should be eaten!
It does not smell good. It smells of sweat.
This is what happens when you lukewarm medister cakes.
"Eat the second-most medister cakes. You have ten minutes. Time starts now."
Second-most ...
So there is a danger of eating the most. This is a game.
A medister cake-eating competition where the goal is not to eat the most, -
-but second-most medister cakes.
And there is a risk here if you choose to eat too much.
If you end up eating the most, then you come last.
If you had been involved, what tactics would you have used?
- I would’ve gone for last place. - Most eaten?
But this is not going to be about me. Who should we take first?
We can start with Mia, Calle, and Magnus. Let it be a little about them.
I actually have water in my mouth.
- Do you like medister? - No. I'm just very hungry.
My relationship with medister cakes is that they are not so good alone.
Second-most, yes.
Then it's probably just eating one less than Maria.
She will handle quite a few. Don’t you have any mustard?
-You take it that way, yes. -Yes. It saves time.
This is not my job. Now I will lie down. I'm already full.
- Three quarters. - I actually can’t stand this.
-Is it good? -Yes.
When I think about it, you get very full from two medister cakes.
I think I’ll stop there. I'm stopping there.
I think the most eaten is three medister cakes.
Now I'm on cake eight.
For Maria's part, there is no tactic, because she is not smart enough for that.
I think she eats the most, and bets that someone will beat her.
That's a tactic, that.
Now the medister cakes have gone to my head.
-I'm going straight to Grandma's dinner. -Enjoy.
Powerful diet.
I want to start with you, Magnus. For the tactic you chose.
You knocked out eight medister cakes.
Still, you are pretty sure that Maria will eat more than you.
-Yes. -It's a bold tactic.
I've seen Maria have dinner.
I have also seen her in the other tasks in the program.
Can I ask how it went at Grandma's dinner? What happened?
It was a very good dinner. It was medister cakes.
-So great. You had fun, I saw. -Yes.
Mia, you were stuffed after one medister cake!
I mean it's almost impossible.
It was slightly nauseating. But then, I made ...
You already see the points disappear out of your hands?
-Almost so she should get minus points. -No.
-I'm not going to put up with that. -There will be no minus points.
We have several medister cake eaters lurking, but first ...
Then I mean first ... we’ll have an ever so small break.
We'll be right back.
Welcome back. We're in the middle of a medister cake-eating competition-
-where the goal is to eat the second-most medister cakes.
-There are two participants left, Olli. -It’s Jon and Maria who remain.
Then we'll see if Magnus's eight and a half medister cakes-
-is second-most medister cake genius.
I'm guessing, and this is pure intuition ...
I guess if I eat two, then I can lie down quite well.
-Was it good? -It tastes better than it smells, yes.
Aware of how long I have been waiting? My only strength is eating.
There are some who do not eat any.
Then there is someone who eats one, and then there is one cuckoo who eats more.
The trick is not to think.
Now I'm on the roof like the girls do.
I've eaten two. Now they are beginning to approach. "Now I can do no more."
I just have to fix ...
I have to say that. I love this task.
-I have so much feeling of mastery now. -45 seconds.
Then I enjoy the last one.
When I've eaten this one, I'm at three and a half.
And that is my final answer. Then I have eaten the second-most cakes.
Five, four, three, two, one, and time.
-I remember nothing. -Like that.
Best ten minutes I've had in a long time.
Damn, how proud I am.
I'm going to go and lie down a little.
- Do you want the number Maria ate? - Yes, please.
Yes. Twelve.
I'm proud of you, my girl.
I'm proud of you. Twelve!
It was a tactical belly flop, but what an effort!
Did you think anyone would eat more than twelve?
My tactic was that everyone would think, "Maria wants to eat the most."
Then I thought, "Then I must."
Yes ... It stopped when I saw food and thought, "I hope we eat."
-Then I forgot the task a bit. -When the food arrives on the table, -
- it's easy to forget the rules.
But tactical belly flop. And not least, just one point.
You got the worst of this. But was it worth it?
These are the best ten minutes I've had in my life.
-Zero shame afterwards. -Absolutely.
Funny to see how Jon underestimates Maria's efforts, -
-and not least that there is another who throws himself on that wave.
For the winner is Magnus!
Magnus wins. Four points to Jon.
Calle gets three, Mia gets two, and Maria with her twelve gets one point.
-It was worth it! -It’s good.
How is the total score so far?
Calle is first, Magnus is second, and Mia is third.
It is very close at the top. Jon, you're a little behind.
It is important for you to land this, because it is the penultimate program.
Yes, yes. I have to get my hands on the board and not take anything for granted.
This is exciting. It's time for the evening's final task.
It will, as always, be solved here in the studio, in front of the audience.
Get on stage.
And we're up here.
- You've got a letter, Calle. - Look.
-I'm just reading it. -Gladly.
"Say the name of a bird, eat a grape,
-and finally say the name of one of the other participants."
"The one you mention must immediately say the name of a new bird, eat a grape-
-and say the name of a participant."
"If you repeat a bird that has already been said, or if you hesitate, you are out."
"If you say the name of someone who's already out, you're out too."
"Good luck."
We will get started pretty quickly. I can repeat three key points:
Say the name of a bird, eat a grape, and say the name of a participant.
And so it begins.
We start with the one at the bottom. It's you, Maria.
-That's me. -Then we start.
Seagull.
Jon.
-No! Seagull, grape, Jon. -That's what you should have done.
You can go and sit down.
-You're welcome. -No no no!
- The rules are straightforward. - Are there such strict rules?
-Can I try again? -Maria, go and seat yourself.
You can take the grapes with you.
I don’t like you.
It felt good to be a little Atle for a little second.
We move on. Magnus, you get started.
Cuckoo.
Jon.
Guillemot.
Mia.
Blue Tit.
Jon.
Starling.
Magnus.
Hawk.
Calle.
Dove.
Jon.
Canada goose.
Mia.
Auk.
Jon.
Siskin.
Calle.
Heron.
Magnus.
Mockingjay.
Jon.
Swallow.
Mia.
Chaffinch.
Calle.
Ostrich.
Jon.
Owl.
Mia.
Bluethroat. Jon.
-I have to ask you to increase the pace. -Great tit.
Mia.
-You hesitated. -No.
-You hesitated. -I had it in my throat.
- That's not my problem. - You fuck with me. That doesn’t work!
I had it in my throat. I'm taking it all up.
-With the network, you mean? -With the rapporteur in Drammen?
Let me check. Yes, they say you're out.
- Damn. - Nobody likes you, Olli!
Sorry.
We move on. Calle, you get started.
Raven. Magnus.
Magpie. Jon.
Owl. Calle.
Goose. Magnus.
Zebra finch. Calle.
Grouse. Jon.
Stork. Magnus.
Crow. Jon.
-Starling. Calle. -I think starling was said.
Are you ready? Final round.
We start with Magnus.
Pelican. Calle.
I must say ... Hummingbird.
We have a winner. Magnus, you won.
We take the summary down here.
-Should I just cut through? -Yes, do it.
Bottom, Maria. One point. Mia, two points. Jon, three points.
Calle, four points, and Magnus five points. So in total after five tasks ...
It is a shared victory today.
Magnus and Calle, come and receive your prizes.
Fantastic effort. Double victory. There is enough béarnaise for everyone.
That’s all we have for today.
Overall, this looks fantastically exciting before the final next week.
Thanks for tonight!
Norwegian text: Sunniva S. Olsen www.iyunomg.com