“Cross-country light”
Welcome to a new season of Kongen Befaler, -
the program where I have hand-picked five funny people-
-who, in the course of eight episodes, will solve my tasks, -
-and where we will eventually end up with a winner of ...
Yes, a bust in gold of me.
With me is my faithful assistant, Olli.
I am ready to assist where one can assist.
That's good. It's a new season, so we start with blank sheets.
We have a delicious bouquet with five new participants.
From outermost to innermost: Egil Hegerberg! [comedian-musician]
Trond Fausa Aurvåg! [sitcom actor]
Linn Skåber! [comedian; former HIGNFY.no panelist]
Jenny Skavlan! [influencer, designer, actor]
And Erik Follestad! [comedian, ex-hockey player]
For a pasture.
-Egil, you're an old scout. -That's right.
-So are you. -Of course. Always ready, you know.
Are there any features from there you can use here?
Digging a grease trap?
I don’t remember a task to dig a grease trap.
That’s a shame, because then there’s nothing you benefit from.
Jenny, this season we have stopped reusing.
We have started using and discarding!
I have tried to destroy as little as possible, but you have made it difficult.
Good to hear. We like those challenges.
Trond, you are well known for playing a lot of jerks.
Slightly clumsy roles. Will we see a completely different Trond?
Yes, that’s the goal.
-Show who you really are. -A sharp genius.
OK. It's good you're offensive.
Erik, you're an old hockey player. Competitor. Top sports.
I am, then.
You’re used to sharpening yourself against other tough competitors.
What do you think of this gang, if you look beyond?
It's a nice bunch. Then we'll see whether-
-the competitive instincts are strong. Jenny has a bit of a competitive instinct.
So you think Jenny could be your toughest competitor?
At least the most inedible competitor.
That’s also important here.
Then there's Linn. There she sits and blooms.
What do you think? Do you get something done, or is it mostly about the chat?
I bet on luck.
I've been lucky with it in life.
To just go in quickly, luckily, out quickly.
Shall we start, then? We must get started with the first task.
The first task is, as always, a prize task-
-where participants are asked to bring something in a given category.
They get points according to who you think has solved the task best.
To spice it all up, the objects are placed in a pot-
-which the winner of today's program gets to share and own.
Let's start, then, with today's first task.
The task is to bring something you have, but should not have.
Egil. What do you have with you that you should not have?
I have these. It's a pair of glasses.
I played a concert a year ago at an event, -
-where I forgot my glasses.
I sent a text message to the organizer and said I forgot my glasses.
Then I got a message back that they had found a pair of glasses.
Great. I went down to get them, and then there were these glasses, -
-which were confusingly similar to my glasses, but not exactly.
They are a little different and have a little different strength.
-So they’re not your glasses? -No, and no one has missed them.
So someone has my glasses and to this day wears my glasses, -
-with a little wrong strength and appearance.
I have tried findmyglasses.no, but got no hits.
Okay, you've solved the task. Jenny.
What do you have with you that you should not have?
I have brought ...
... my driver's license.
-OK. -I'm an incredibly bad driver.
As all women, of course, are. No.
-Yes! -No then, we say.
I'm a very technically bad driver.
Every time I have to turn on the floodlights ...
-Is that what it's called? -Yes, it's floodlighting.
The cross-country lights. When I turn on the high beam.
-What’s it called? -High beam.
High beam, you see! When I have to turn on ...
Were you drinking when you got your license?
When I took that picture?
There was a time when that haircut was stylish.
It's a lucky troll.
Then we agree that it is solved. Linn?
-What do you have with you? -Unlike Egil, I have ...
I haven’t been so fond of glasses. I've seen better than my friends.
I didn’t need glasses until a year ago.
It was so very ...
-What’s it called? -A downer?
Defeat, yes.
So I didn’t want to buy glasses.
I like that "defeat" is a foreign word to you.
That says a lot about the girl.
"What’s it called when you don’t do great?"
I can’t do that, in terms of age.
I caught myself sitting at the kitchen table.
Instead of buying glasses, I went to Clas Ohlson- [home improvement store]
-and bought this.
When I sat and read the news, I sat like that-
-and didn’t think it made me look any older-
-than investing in glasses.
I like that the light shines right in your eye.
-It used to be like that. -Trond?
-I'm a little scared. -You’re scared?
It's very revealing, but I have an explanation, -
-although it’s not rational.
I have a pair of nails.
-Nails? -The simplest, I know!
-Are they your toenails? -Yes!
-I can’t bear it. -It's nothing to laugh about.
-Do you think it's disgusting? -I think it's very disgusting.
I don’t get to toenails, that is.
Geez. That was a surprise.
-Why do you have them? -For me now it is difficult ...
It is still a bit difficult to throw away your nails after cutting them.
Because they are so good to touch.
Are you a nail man?
When I was little, I didn’t use a pacifier, -
-but I used to sniff at Dad's shirt collars.
-Not toenails. -You sat on the collar?
No, I did that when I was a baby.
-I liked to touch sharp things. -Oh yes.
When I was growing up, as the years went by, -
-so this interest didn’t fade. -You never stopped?
I stopped with the shirt collars. I'm done with that.
But these I may have saved.
-This was dark. -How old are those nails?
-Late ‘90s. -Late ‘90s ?!
Early 2000s, perhaps.
Are they the only ones that have not been completely shredded?
I tend to sniff a little, -
-and then a day or two goes by, and then I throw them away.
-Does your wife know about this? -I have received her blessing.
-Is it true? -Yes it’s true.
It’s true. -I understand you're asking.
This is my contribution. I should not have it.
It is a very good contribution to the task.
It is when we look beyond the task that we are skeptical.
But you have solved the task itself.
Erik, what do you have with you?
I have some login info.
Which you should not have?
This is my login info for the Norwegian lotto app.
-Norwegian lotto app? -Yes.
Because I have it, and I use it a little too much.
-So I have in a way ... -You should not play?
No, I have made my contribution to children's theater and ball pits across the country.
It's not ... It gets a little much sometimes.
-This was a very personal round. -We have revealed much about ourselves.
Have you made up your mind? You must hand out the first points.
It should not be punishing to be private either.
The glasses ... Nice story, but I put them last.
It's my fault because I have such high expectations.
-Did you have expectations for me? -So I say it's my fault.
It's good you agree.
Jenny. Next to last.
-Is it true? -Two points. It’s true.
You get that for admitting that you are a bad driver.
You are probably very bad if you realize it yourself.
-Linn, three points. -I am pleased. In the middle of the tree.
For some private information, you get four points, Erik.
The winner is clearly Trond Fausa's nail clippings.
A big round of applause.
This means that Trond runs away with the season's first five points.
-That's always cool. -That's it.
We go straight to the first task from the house.
Then I would like to start with a bang!
You'll get that. Then we start with this one. Bang!
-Is it a birthday? -No.
-Just balloons? -Just balloons.
Oh, so much fun! So funny!
"Burst the balloons. Fastest wins.”
"Time starts when the first balloon bursts."
That's not a balloon? It looked like a bouncy ball, but it's a balloon.
-It's a balloon. -I'm going to get something in the shed.
Who do we start with?
We will meet two types you would rather not meet in a dark alley.
If you’re a balloon, that is. Jenny and Linn.
This is a really nice task.
-You and me out here in ... -Romantic surroundings?
Like "Love Actually". We look like we're in a romantic movie.
I'm wondering if I'm going for stabbing. Gather them all.
Maybe I should have earplugs.
-Why? -I'm a little sensitive to sound.
When do you start to burst?
-Are you cold, Olli? -No.
It's fine? Great. This takes some time.
-Do you have gloves on? -I have gloves.
Can I borrow them for a bit? You can stand with hands in your pocket.
-They’re cozy, too. -Yes, they’re nice.
Didn’t find hearing protection.
But maybe two hats on top of each other.
-Are they funny hats? -It's meant for hearing protection.
Good idea, in fact. I hear almost nothing.
Oh no! No no no!
I have to hurry a little, because it's starting to blow.
Can I take it? It's gas!
I'm terrified of losing it. I'm partying there.
Will not look stupid. Like that. Now I don’t look stupid.
Now it's starting to get a little tedious. Now it's getting a little inconvenient.
Time begins when I burst?
Ready, set. go!
Oh my God, this is so smart!
Now I'm going to start bursting.
Then you can be allowed to start.
You can sit down and relax a bit.
Finished!
No! Finished!
Have I forgotten any? No. Goodbye!
No! No no no!
You left a witness.
-I felt so naughty! -I saw it.
-It's so much fun that we ... -You sat with a red balloon.
I finally saw it, then.
This task brought out the worst in you.
You walked around like a mass murderer.
And Linn walked around calmly, as if it didn’t matter.
You just killed the balloons.
I love quiet tasks. I get happy when I'm not running.
It was a pity you didn’t kill the little girl on the grill.
It was really annoying.
I looked faster than Jenny, even though she walked with force.
We'll have to look at that. Jenny, it went away.
-Collecting in a bin wasn’t so stupid. -It went really fast.
Arm only ... I had no idea an arm could go so fast.
It was a little unfortunate, that movement.
You burst all the balloons in 43 seconds.
-Isn't that very good? -It is.
In less than a minute!
I stopped the time at 1:35 on Linn. Isn’t she disqualified?
-She doesn’t get any points. -I understand that.
Time still goes by. Stupid to miss that balloon here.
There may be more who are disqualified.
We can take ... Here we have two types who have been out before.
Trond and Egil.
The flambé here, and then I just burn holes in everything.
All together. It said, "Burst all the balloons. Fastest wins.”
Maybe I should collect them inside.
The weather is a little less inclement inside.
Let’s see. We...
We have to get those up there, too.
How...?
-Is it slippery? -No!
Makan!
It's like a balloon. Oh yes.
I have to hold it.
I did it well.
And we're off.
Yes. I think that was all.
Yes.
It worked surprisingly well.
I felt smart when this worked so well.
Very happy with myself.
Egil, you know I have high expectations of you.
Now you fulfilled them. Here you met my expectations.
-This was brilliant. -It was a hell of a float.
I don’t think the others had the same wind conditions.
-It blew fine. -Next time, Egil.
-Trond. You were very proud. -I felt that this ...
You don’t seem to be used to doing anything.
I've never burst balloons with a flambé before.
-What? You haven’t? -It looked so natural.
But I don’t think it quite holds up to the goal from Jenny.
We have some times here, too.
You said it did not hold, but since Egil was also disqualified, -
-it actually gets second place for the time being.
You spent 1 minute and 38 seconds.
It’s not half-hearted.
We can see what the hill looks like when Erik is about to burst his balloons.
-Let’s see... -What are you doing?
I'm thinking of building a pretty sharp balloon cracker.
Like this. It’s not half-crazy.
The plan now is actually to collect balloons up here.
Like that. When I've released it, -
-if there's any left, I can just ... Do you understand?
Shall we try, then? One, two, drop.
-Like that. -Finished?
Then I think I'm just leaving the scene.
That was beautiful.
This was well solved. It doesn’t get any better.
-You didn’t put the planks together? -I had to do woodwork.
-Sawed, built ... -Are there people who can do that?!
Then I don’t want to join. Then it's not fun.
-You have to use the hat. -I'm very impressed.
-He solved it quickly. -How many seconds do you think?
-Maybe seven, eight ... Or eight, nine. -Seconds?
-Eight seconds. -No!
-We have a winner! -We have a winner! We have that.
Then there is Jenny as number two, Trond as number three, -
-and then Linn and Egil, who are disqualified and get zero points.
You’ve been disqualified, -
-but it's early, and that's one of the first tasks.
I think it is more generous of me to give you points for the effort.
You had a slightly better attempt than Egil.
You should be glad you get one point, and you get two, Linn.
The applause that is coming now is for the generous king.
You usually get applause then.
What you don’t know is that I am very weak-
-for great architecture.
-Are you? -No.
Yes, I am. Very weak for architecture.
Now I want a task with architecture, -
-and even more important, good construction practices.
-I'm tough there. -You'll get that.
Can I also add some small obstacles from the world of nature?
Obstacles are good. -Gorgeous.
-Carrots? -Correct.
"Build a carrot tower. Highest tower wins.
You have 30 seconds, -
-but time starts again every time you shout a mammal."
Oi!
"If you shout the same animal twice, you're done.
Time starts now.”
-Do I have to count the 30 seconds? -I don’t want to remind you of them.
No. Twenty, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen ...
-What kind of count is that, Jenny? -I'm really wondering about that, too.
I didn’t know that I knew so many languages.
"Twenty, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen."
What are you going to use it for?
That's probably a way to get to 30.
Before they go into the fire, we'll have a little break. We'll be right back.
Welcome back to Kongen Befaler. What are we doing? We’re stacking carrots.
Participants will build towers of carrots.
They have 30 seconds, but every time they shout a mammal, -
-the time resets. It restarts.
So there is no limit on how long they can spend.
No, not really, but now I think you forget-
-that participants may have some limitations with regard to -
-knowledge of mammals. -Yes, I forgot!
And also knowledge of what it means to shout.
I forgot that, too! Did you see?
We start with two low-key men and a Linn.
-Do you say how far I’ve come? -No.
You don’t, no. So if I shout ...
Elk, I shout.
Cow.
And time’s up. “Elk, I shout."
-I didn’t shout "elk", no. -You said you were shouting "elk".
Yes, I chose a slightly alternative solution.
You have to make sure that they shout, because it says "shout" in the letter.
Elephant.
I'll stop you. What do you categorize as shouting?
Oi! What I did wasn’t whispering, at least.
It depends on the ear that is hearing. That's how I shout, you might say.
-I can probably do better. -You’ll probably get the opportunity to do that again.
-Are you disqualifying me? -No. You have built a tower.
Mouse!
Cat!
Weasel!
Monkey!
I was just thinking ... It was a bad plan.
Red ...
Wolf!
-Arangotang! -And time’s up. [not a word; should be “orangutang”]
Arangotang?
I'm happy. It's for yours, then?
-It's for yours, yes. -The foundation is carrots.
And then the famous top is also carrots.
That’s important. Don’t pull the chair away.
It’s good.
You can measure from the one in front of you, which I made.
-Yes, yes. -There was a lot to tackle here.
Where should I start?
Begin by explaining how to say “orangutan”.
-Orangutang. -Orangutang.
It’s not said with an A, since it’s an O.
Trond, how do you talk normally?
I am so naturally authoritarian that I don’t have to raise my voice.
Was it talking or shouting?
-Now I shouted. -Now you shouted, yes.
My usual voice is down here.
Linn, did you feel that the shouting went beyond the building?
I'm better at words than technique.
But I wasn’t that good at it, either.
You all didn’t get very high.
You saved yourself with your shameless head.
We appreciate that.
If you say you’re going to build a building, -
-a building doesn’t only consist of carrots.
Opera is not just marble. You have to have some iron and stuff.
-There will be a lot of iron. -For example.
-We must have some heights here. -I have taken into account what you said.
Egil's tower begins at the bottom so far.
Twelve centimeters. Trond, 14.5 centimeters above the table.
And Linn, with chair and table and all, 137 centimeters.
It includes the carrot that is the foundation.
The building was actually a foundation wall, air castle, carrots, -
-more air castles, carrots. -Like the opera, or the Munch Museum.
But there are two left.
Mammals are in a way ...
My problem is that I don’t know what mammals are.
Wait. Oh my God. Mammal.
Horse!
30 seconds. I can do this for quite some time.
OK. Wait.
I'm guessing a mammal is ... a knarhval. [not a word; narhval=narwhal]
There must be a better way to build a tower.
Whale!
-I’ve stopped the time. -What? Why?
-There is no such thing as a “knarhval”. -Yes, the one with the long nose.
Yes, that's a narwhal.
-No! Are you kidding? -No.
This is not my tower.
Time’s up.
-Because of one letter? -K, yes.
That’s really sick. Then you know where the list is, at least.
Wait. I have to think of a mammal.
This is going so badly. Hamster!
Unfortunately, it was too late. Time was up.
So then that's your tower?
-Yes. -Yes.
That's my tower.
This one.
-Yes. -Yes.
Yes. Jenny.
Of all the piles of carrots, choose the lowest pile.
-like your defined tower.
I haven’t thought about that, but the fact that I chose a knife as a tool, -
-made one carrot even shorter than it was.
That's what it did. A whole carrot would have been twice as good.
On this task, time does not equal a higher tower.
You just have to spend 10 seconds saying thank you for now.
You have a bit to learn from Linn, who in principle was not so much better.
I'll teach you a lot about it another time.
Chopped more tactically.
We're coming to you now, Erik. I just want to ask you, Olli.
How many different mammals are there approximately on the planet?
Approximately? Let’s see...
About 6,500 species.
You have some simple ones, such as cow, cat, horse, and dog.
-It's almost too easy with them. -These are not the ones to go for.
But still, 6,500. You went for something that doesn’t exist.
I'm not proud of that one.
If he's embarrassed about it with “knarhvals” and stuff,
- I can understand that, but he's really a carpenter, -
-and it was a lousy building.
I was about to do exactly the same thing as you.
-Get some bigger stuff. -I'll say that next time.
"I was just about to do what the winner did."
It was sad, the one with the knarhvals. We will never experience this.
OK. Olli.
Jenny puts herself at the very bottom, with 10 centimeters.
Then there are Egil and Trond, and Erik gets a good second place.
You do.
And Linn, you are just as best in terms of results-
-as you are worst in morals.
That’s a wonderful conclusion.
In total we can see the score as it looks now.
Oi! Erik is in first place. Trond is second here.
But it’s not decided, and now comes a point that is important to me.
I love putting the participants in stalls. It's important for me to sort you out.
In the beginning, I think it's nice to set up two stalls.
One stall is for the smart, and the other is for the stupid.
So the idiots. And there's plenty of room for both of you, so you know it.
Do we have a task that can help me sort the participants?
Yes. We have a task that measures exactly those two criteria.
-Hi. -Oi! A switch. And a sound down there.
Oh! I don’t like things that look dangerous.
I think of power, height, and sound.
Find out what the switch does. Fastest wins.
Time starts now.”
-Can I go down? -You can do whatever you want.
They should find out what happens when they turn the switch.
The one who gets the correct answer the fastest wins.
-Who should we start with? -It's one I'm extra excited about.
I think we start with the mysterious Trond.
OK. I'm a little excited myself.
OK. Did I turn it on?
Now it's off. "On" it says now.
Fan....
Let’s see...
Hell!
I think it's this one.
I think it's the coffee maker.
No.
Maybe it's the light.
No. Hell.
Oi! Now there is something. "On".
There is something going on here. Down here.
-It's the one there. -Yes.
I like the time you try to be faster than electricity.
Faster than light.
I had to keep that in mind. What was screwed up down there?
-And you have poor short-term memory. -I had to go down immediately.
Time: six minutes and eight seconds.
It’s difficult to say whether that’s a good or bad time.
We have nothing to compare with so far.
But we can get that quickly. We can take a look at Jenny.
"Find out what the switch does."
-The switch turns on that light. -That's the answer?
-Yes. -Yes.
It was an incredible amount of chaos for such an easy task.
Was it that easy? Or is it just me who's so smart?
Is that it?
-It's a new feeling. -It was really easy!
-I know! It was very easy! -You had your eyes on.
You clearly go into the lead. You spent 36 seconds.
-It was that many? -Yes, because you went and confirmed.
-Should’ve trusted your eyes sooner. -It was incredibly stupid.
To be so smart, in a way.
Can any of these three manage to beat it?
We'll see after a short break.
The participants are trying to find out what the mysterious switch does.
Jenny leads with 36 seconds.
What we're wondering now is if Jenny is smart, -
-or if the task is very easy.
Erik, Egil, Linn ...
Shall we see how it went with these three, then?
What are the tactics?
The tactic was to look around and see what's on and off, -
-and see if it's different now.
Fuck!
I follow the wires, and then we see ...
-Is it okay, Egil? -Where do these go?
What is connected here? Nothing there.
The thing that is a bit of trouble is that there are a few too many cables.
There should be fewer cables. It would have been easier.
The coffee maker, fan, or TV. Answer given.
No. Just wanted to see how you reacted.
This one is there. None of that.
There is nothing that turns off! Hell!
I don’t see that much happening.
The banana is on. Flamingo is on.
What?
Then it's the coffee maker.
The coffee maker can be lukewarm, so that's the only thing I can go for.
Except for the iron. And the radio.
OK, one more.
I thought it was on now.
Now I feel smart.
-Do you do that? -No.
What do you think it could be?
-Nothing, I say. -Nothing?
-Do you lock in your answer? -I'm locking it in.
I was sweating.
I think I turn the camera on and off!
-The coffee maker. -It’s good. Then I stop the time.
-I'm turning off the camera. -Then I stop the time.
You're so boring to talk to.
Yes. There was a lot to do here.
Erik, the first thing you say is that you should look around a bit.
-Then you look straight down. -Yes, it was because ...
almost all the wires went down.
I'm ashamed. It's incredibly embarrassing to watch.
How does it really feel when the task is solved so very easily-
-when Jenny solves it, and then there are three who give up?
Jenny is so arrogant at the top of the stairs there.
She makes up and keeps on. She's just doing this.
-Then she solved the task. -We have some times.
The results are pretty decent. Sunny victory for Jenny.
Second place for Trond. Then there are three with zero points.
They did not find out.
Here is the score for this task, and overall it looks like this.
Hi! Trond up at first. Erik on second. Jenny on third.
It’s possible to do something with today's results.
There is one task left.
It will, as always, take place here in the studio.
Get on stage!
We have moved up on stage, and Erik has received a letter. Can you read it?
"Choose one thing to roll through the pipe using the rope.
The thing should land within the green field.
Those who do not land within the field are out.
If everyone ends up within the field, the one who has come out the shortest is out.
We play three rounds, or until there is only one left."
-Fantastic reading. -Thanks.
In front of you are five different things.
When I count to three, you can keep one thing in front of you.
One, two, three!
Lovely. Everyone has gone for their own thing, almost.
Trond, you're leading so far. You may be allowed to start.
-Why did you go for ice? -Why have I gone for ice?
That's because then I have bowl and orange as number two and three.
Come on!
Great. It's inside. Jenny.
Yes. Easy to knock out. That was the one I took.
Easy to knock even further forward.
-You went for a roll. -I went for a roll.
So I just do that.
No!
It's a guard for the others, so it can be twisted.
You can sit in the loser's chair. You're already out. Linn, your turn.
I have chosen the roll, because it is round and goes a bit.
-What do you think? -It works for me.
OK.
Come on!
As bad as Jenny. Sit in the loser's chair.
Come on. Knock us in, then.
-Hope it goes to hell. -We'll see, then.
Ha, ha. With slime.
-Father. -It's too far.
-Yes! Loser’s chair! -You needed two brake pads.
-Is it possible? -Oh well. Egil.
Don’t jerk now, Egil. Take it slow and easy.
I have full control over this.
-Knock me and Linn, then. -Oh, Egil! Yes!
-Look at that! -Yes!
You're into the next round. Then it's a final duel.
I count to three. You choose a new item. One, two, three!
You went for ice. Then you should be allowed to start this time.
-Yes. Why did you go for ice? -I panicked.
I thought a banana peel would be too slippery.
So then it would just slip out.
Let’s see... We try like that.
-Oi! -Yes! It's definitely inside!
It's inside.
OK. You're welcome.
Oi!
No!
We definitely have a winner.
Definitely a winner in Trond. Now we summarize today's program.
Impressive job. There is nothing to hide.
Trond, you got five points. Egil got four points.
But then it’s like this that the one who comes worst of the losers, -
-gets one point. The one who did the best of the losers gets three points.
So the one who completely rolled off, Erik, was you, so you get one point.
The one who was closest to the two of you, which of you was it?
-It was me. -You get three points, and Linn gets two.
The final score in today's program is this:
-Oi! -We have a winner!
We have Trond Fausa Aurvåg who wins!
Come up and receive the prizes! Enjoy these prizes, -
-which are from everyone to you. Things one should not have.
That was what we achieved today.
We're back next time with new tasks-
-with the same old participants. See you!
Norwegian text: Alexander Kerr www.iyunomg.com