I can not think!
Did the others understand this?
Yes!
Welcome to Kongen Befaler.
The programme where five noble souls fight tooth and nail
for an equally noble metal,
namely a bust in gold... of me!
Speaking of noble souls,
someone who is still sitting by my side to keep track of counting,
measuring, scoring and priorities, Olli Wermskog!
Thank you!
Thank you very much.
But let's pay attention to those this is really about.
Steinar Sagen! -Hello.
Ida Fladen!
Amir Asgharnejad!
Einar Tørnquist! -Hi!
And Solveig Kloppen!
Yes.
I get so happy and expectant when I look at you.
Because some of you are going to do things that will be thoroughly punishing in this programme.
It's a nice bunch to see make a fool of themselves, if they end up doing that.
Don't you agree, folks? We have to start with the first task.
The task is a prize task where the participants
bring something in a given category.
Atle judges who has solved the task best.
The task today is as follows:
Bring your best gift. It can be something you have received or given.
The very best gift you can think of to give away or receive.
This is also an opportunity for you viewers to pick up some tips, of course.
I think we'll start with you today, Einar. -That seems wise, Atle.
Because I have brought the best gift.
Do you know what this is, Atle? -Yes, that looks like socks.
These are not new socks. This is a new sock wardrobe.
Here, all black socks are exactly alike.
And all white socks are exactly alike.
This means that you don't have to spend time pairing your socks.
You just put them together.
Isn't that a good gift? -Yes, it's fantastic. I do exactly the same.
Five points. -Yes, yes!
Yes, yes. -Five points!
I was forced to start doing this when I had three toddlers, and had to sort their socks. Theirs may be different,
but then my socks shouldn't fuck it up, so I have to spend so much time sorting those as well.
So I bought a bunch of the same. In packs of three. Thirty pairs.
And I still have the same type, been doing it for 20 years. You only need black socks.
That sounds good. For now.
I agree at least. -In terms of feedback, it sounds good.
I might find someone I agree with even more. Like Amir.
Although that would surprise me a little. But ok.
Yes, ok. All right. Thanks. -Yes.
Yes, I see now that we...
It's... Look at... I'm not sure... But ok.
It looks like a...
What... What is it?
Yes, I will tell you. -Is it a headset, or?
These are headphones. This is a gift I have given.
I gave this gift to my wife.
You've given it away already? -Yes, it was a Mother's Day gift
which me and my daughter made together for my wife.
Because she likes to jog in the woods.
It has different features.
One is that it is a headphone you can listen to music with.
And since I had listened to a lot of true crime and stuff.
I was so scared that she would go missing on one of those jogs.
"Have you seen her with that disco head?"
So it would be easy to find her. And then they are also warm.
And you also made it with your child. That's quite touching.
It looks like a virus, I think.
I think you look like a virus.
But, since you have it now, how was it received?
It was very well received. Except that it has never been used.
Surprising. -Yes.
So she said it was nice? -Yes.
I see. -And she was very happy.
And you made it yourself. That moves you up the ranks.
Thank you very much. -Very well done. Ida, what do we have?
We have...
Rings made of fur from my cats.
Yes.
I brought earrings made of cat fur before, that I got from my sister.
You were pretty negative towards those. You thought it was a lame gift, that it was nasty.
They were big.
It has grown on me a bit. I've thought about it, and these are ingenious gifts.
It is sustainable. Local material.
It's from your own cats? -This is from Yolo, this is from Miley.
I have a stock of material for gifts until infinity.
It's a concept. -What occasions are they suitable for?
Today. I'll wear them...
I don't actually think they're that bad.
This is unisex.
No. -Yes.
See! -Not unisex.
Yes, now that you mention it. -My eyes are very itchy when I'm wearing them.
In a way, I can sweep the floor and get material for jewelry at the same time.
Well, that's just brilliant!
Solveig, what do you have with you? -I...
I think that... -Yes!
This can't be right, I'm saying that right away.
Okay, I'm listening. -A lot of dust.
Yes. I think the best gift is the one you never thought
that you would buy yourself. -Yes.
We spend every summer at a boathouse in Western Norway.
And I've always dreamed of having an
Evert Taube-like figure sitting on the pier there [Evert Taube was a famous Swedish musician]
rattling and singing and playing.
A figure? So a man? -A man, yes.
Your husband, then? -Yes, basically.
So I bought this accordion for him for Christmas seven years ago.
And was that a success?
No.
He hasn't turned into such a man yet?
No. But the twist now is that I think that...
you would have been a nice Evert Taube-like figure on that pier.
So this is a gift for you.
That's way too much. That's way too much.
But true story, my wife picked up an accordion one week ago,
her father's old one. So unfortunately I have an accordion already.
And we do not need two.
And I'm not even joking.
But one thing, because you know such Evert Taube-like figures,
it's fun when they're there, but it's nice to leave them as well.
But when you buy it for your own husband, he must first practice at home for two years
to be able to play it.
And then he will do the same shit all summer.
You would never have accepted that. -Bad gift?
He hasn't used it, has he? -No.
And you gave it so you have an accordion in the house.
Yeah, it's not... We'll come back to that.
But Steinar, we're not done with you.
We haven't started with me yet. I really want to...
This is a gift I received a little over 40 years ago,
and which I still enjoy very much.
It is the best gift you can get. Namely a little brother.
Oh, damn it.
I know what you've been planning. You know I have too much of a conscience.
So I find it difficult to crack down on this.
But we'll see. -I'm looking forward to it, Atle.
That was sly! -Yes, but I know you have such a big heart
that you can't give it...
But your brother is such a cynical bastard. [Tore Sagen is a well-known TV/radio personality]
My brother, yes. Yes, he's a jerk.
Oh, you mean the idea of a brother? A brother as an idea! Yes, yes!
You're not putting Tore in the pot?
"Mom, Dad, I want a little brother." "Yes, just wait for 7 months."
They had slept with each other two months earlier.
So they figured that would do? -So, have you made up your mind?
I find it difficult.
I can not accept an accordion as a good gift.
Especially not when the recipient doesn't want it, and I already have one.
So it's one point for the accordion. There is not much more to say.
Amir, you'll get two points for that one.
It is very interesting that you have made it yourself.
But then I rather prefer Ida's, which is a little less flashy.
So she will then get three points for her homemade gifts.
Am I about to give socks four points?
There are a lot of socks, and they are exactly the same.
Just because I agreed so much and do exactly the same myself. You take me where I'm weakest.
5 points? -You get 4. No, 5 doesn't work.
You don't get five. The idea of a brother gets five.
I got into this mess...
Yes. -Yes, yes.
I'm a guy who never changes my mind, so we stick to it.
Olli, this programme is about solving tasks
where one should think outside the box. But sometimes
one should be thinking more inside the box.
We have at least one task where
I, to a large extent, am thinking inside the box.
Yes.
Oh, that's scary. I'm terrified.
No. Uff. That's unpleasant.
Sweet smile. Thanks.
"Which is the real Olli? You can only guess once."
"You may not remove or touch the cardboard box."
"Your time starts now."
Yes...
Yes, who is me, among all these Ollis?
That is the task that must be solved.
But of course it is not allowed to lift off the boxes.
I think that's pretty obvious. -I noticed that myself as I said it.
But who do we start with?
We can start with the man who chooses faster than his own shadow.
Einar. -Here.
That's Olli.
Goodbye then.
Am I done with the task, Olli?
There are more Ollis here.
But I could only guess once.
Yes, so you decided before you saw that there were more Ollis there, did you?
I had seen three of them. And I thought that was enough to start guessing.
How long did he spend? -He was quick. Less than ten seconds.
Oi!
If that's all it comes down to, this can go well.
But it remains to be seen if that was the right choice.
Before we find out, let's look at some more.
Here are Steinar, Ida and Solveig.
Right. You're not Olli. You're too short.
And then there's you on the bench there. Hairy hands.
Looks a little Olli-like. Oh yes! There are more Ollis here!
Oh shit, I didn't see them. Shit.
I thought it was the three of them.
Hey.
Speak. What's your name?
Okay, that's not Olli.
There is some hair on the chest.
Boo! Make a sound!
Chest hair. Slightly blue hands. All right.
And there's one sitting up here. No, the hands are too spotted.
Too many moles on the hands.
I don't know. A little too thin, right?
Too short, right? Very dry hands on the person sitting there.
Don't think Olli has those. I don't know who it is! My time is ticking, I've lost it.
Hello?
Chest hair here too. Black.
Finnish fingers.
This is Olli. This one is Olli.
There's something about the way he holds the clipboard that looks familiar.
This is Olli.
This one's too short, sort of.
Hello? No, it's not, you know.
I'm ready. It's the one in the tree.
That's Olli. Finished. Stop the time. Now.
Olli?
Fuck! It's the dry hands.
Of course I can't see who Olli is. It is saved for the studio part.
That will be fun. Thank you.
Steinar, you end up saying he has Finnish fingers.
Can you describe Finnish fingers? What is it?
Cold, white, slightly pointed, Finnish fingers.
But Ida, dry hands. -Yes...
Are you afraid the dry hands were a mistake?
Yes, because he also had a lot of moles on his dry hands.
And I've later noticed that Olli does not have those.
You checked now in retrospect? -Yes.
And those moles also need to be checked, in fact.
Yes, that's true.
Before we get to the correct answer, Olli, what happens now?
We can see if Amir can find the true me.
You're not Olli.
You may well be Olli. You have some hair sticking out there.
And Olli has hair.
You're too young. Boy. There's a boy sitting there.
You sit like Olli.
But your fingers are too short. You're not Olli.
And then you have him sitting in the tree.
And he has freckles and his hands are too white.
This is Olli, sitting here.
Here's Olli.
You're Olli.
Am I done?
Ok. Thanks.
I think it went well.
You seemed very confident, Amir.
Perhaps most sure of all. -Yes, I think so.
Maybe it's time for the answer?
Let's summarise. Einar and Steinar have both gone for Olli on the bench.
Solveig and Amir for Olli on the bike, while Ida went for the dry-fingered Olli in the tree.
But who is right? And is anyone right? Here is the answer.
Yes good.
It was Olli on the bike. Amir and Solveig made a very wise choice.
But it was not just about choosing Olli, but also about choosing the fastest.
Yes!
If you made the correct choice, that is.
Who was the fastest of Solveig and Amir? -Amir, let's see...
Amir spent 1 minute and 4 seconds.
And Solveig, you spent 1 minute and 56 seconds.
It will be a full pot for Amir. -Yes.
Then there will be five points for Amir.
And Ida, Einar and Steinar then chose the wrong Olli.
But we can reward those who chose wrong the fastest as well.
Because it is worse to spend a long time and still make the wrong choice.
So there might be... -No, seriously!
Then, of course, it will be three points to Einar.
Two points to Steinar and one point to Ida.
I was bad. -That's okay. Then we have settled it.
Bad rules. -No, that's fair, that.
These are the results now. But in total after two...
Steinar, oi oi. Three on seven.
Amir, you've left the bottom now. You're leading.
Had we bothered to sort alphabetically, you would have been at the top.
But we didn't bother. But anyway, that's fabulous.
I would call it progress. That's the best you're done
since you won the first programme.
We'll see how it goes after the break.
Now I want to see if we can fool the participants
to do pretty boring things for quite some time
without there being a particularly cool and good solution to the task.
Now I know exactly where you want to go.
And it sounds like these guys are also beginning to sense it.
No...
I won't be able to eat it all.
"Sort all the Non Stops." [coated chocolates like Smarties or M&Ms]
"Sort all the Non Stops."
"Sort all the Non Stops. Fastest wins. Your time starts now."
Yes...
I'll gladly repeat, Solveig. I feel like I can always tell what you're thinking.
You're pretty clear, expressively. -What do you think I was thinking?
You always think, "Have I done something wrong?"
"Did I understand the task? Do I have reason to panic?"
Always a little. -Is that right?
Yes. -Right?
The task is thus: Sort Non Stops as quickly as possible.
Shall we get started? -Yes.
Who should we see first? -Ida, Einar and Amir.
Oi, oi. This is great.
I think the task is exciting. I like to sort things.
Any tactics here? -No, now I'm just enjoying myself.
This is cool for the colour blind.
What colours do you mix up? -I'm mixing all this up.
I'm allowed to hope that Tørnquist will struggle here.
I'm weak with green, as it's called. Not colour blind.
I was supposed to be a train driver, but didn't pass the medical test.
What did you miss? Red and green light? -Yeah, that's the problem.
You know when you look at numbers inside those circles? That looks exactly like this to me.
Just like that. What number is this? I had 2 out of 50 correct on the test.
Now it's starting to get boring.
♪ I have saved almost all the greens from this Non Stop pool ♪
♪ Yellow, yellow, get out, yellow, you're yellow ♪
What happens if you have got one wrong colour somewhere?
Is it full disqualification?
There is a whole...
That one is strange...
These are the same, aren't they?.
Why have I done this now? Why did I not give up right away?
Then I can eat a little too.
Like that. I think this went well.
Finished.
Yes...? That's good.
No!
Ida, you went for the system "Non Stop by colour plus two on the floor"?
No, I didn't lose them.
It wasn't a part of the system? -No!
Were they put there on purpose? -No!
We don't... -Do you think we rigged it to ruin it for you?
Yes I think so. Olli, it was you. -We don't do that.
But Amir, you worked very conscientiously.
Didn't look like you were in such a hurry either.
You love to spend time, enjoy yourself. -Yes.
You enjoyed yourself for just over 14 minutes. -Oi.
That's nice.
It's good we edited it down.
Einar, this is one of the most helpless things I have ever seen.
Yeah, it's fun to ridicule people with disabilities this way.
Yes, it is.
Just point and laugh.
Yes, but when you were so adamant to sort them by colour...
Yes, I should have sorted them chronologically, shouldn't I?
You are the one who chooses the system.
Shall we see the last two then? -Yes.
Steinar and Solveig.
It doesn't say how to sort them.
It doesn't say that you must sort them by colour.
Oh...
Is there anything else to sort them by, then?
I can sort by size.
That's it. Stop the time. Finished. Sorted. I sorted by size.
If there had been a giant Non Stop here, it would have had its own place.
Smart?
There is no other way to sort Non Stop than by colour.
Is there? I don't understand it.
My family will be disappointed. I know my father will be disappointed.
I guess he's always been a little disappointed in me.
I think even my mother will be disappointed with this.
I'll do this.
I'm thinking outside the box.
What are you sorting by? -By different things.
I've sorted by number.
So there are equally as many in each bowl? -No.
But I have sorted them. It didn't say anything else.
I have sorted them into five different glass bowls.
Haven't I? -Yes. Good at counting?
Six different glass bowls.
Masterful, Solveig. Masterfully delivered.
I was quite satisfied. -I saw that.
When I see your reaction, I know exactly how you were
in all grade levels at school.
First to tenth, or ninth as it was back then.
When you finally got an idea... You're always scared while you are correct.
I like that. Einar, here you have quite a lot to learn.
You just decide that it should be sorted by colour.
And then you play this colour-blind-handicap-card
and make yourself a victim.
You make yourself a victim in order to give up on it all.
Can I just say one thing? I think you're a great presenter.
You have learned. It's okay.
Steinar, if the task had been to distribute the Non Stops,
you would have solved it with brilliance.
Yes, ok. That's cool to hear.
Thank you.
There were many different variations on an incredibly open task.
You have some sort of overview, don't you?
Some sort of. We can start with the last place. It goes to Einar.
Thank you so much. I think you're very good, both of you.
Even in this programme, it's like this. If you give up, you won't get many points.
I understand that. Thank you. -Yes.
Steinal... -Steinar.
You chose to distribute rather than sort, but end up ahead of Einar.
Ida, it was a third place. -Not bad.
No, it's not bad.
To have done it as bad as you did, that's very well rewarded.
And 14 minutes of fun will be a second place.
Solveig wins with a time of 1 minute and 56 seconds.
Now I would like to see a task that combines
relaxing in a hammock with a farmer and heavy lifting.
As a commentary that some people are working hard for us to have what we need
while we just fool around in society's comfortable hammock?
No. -No.
I really just want to see a task where the participants are struggling.
Oi! There's a guy there.
There's a guy there. -A farmer.
Yes, a farmer.
"The farmer has fallen out of his hammock. Help the farmer back into it."
"Time stops when the farmer is in the hammock. Time starts now."
Is this the farmer's hammock? -Yes.
Is this the farmer? -Yes.
Oh yes! The farmer is heavy, yes!
Oi, he's heavy, yes. No and no.
It's that simple. Fastest to put the farmer in the hammock wins.
But we are talking about a farmer who is filled with 70 kilos of sand.
That way, it may not be that simple.
Yes...
Who should we start with? Steinar has the reputation of being very strong.
It's the best quality he's brought with him.
Then we start with Steinar, and then I'll include Ida, Solveig and Amir.
Shall I get you up here, then?
Let's see. Ok.
You become different when you lift.
I feel like this is an unfair task, because it is much easier for Steinar.
Come on, farmer!
That's fun. -Did it go as you expected?
God.
Now I'm tired!
This is the hammock itself, isn't it?
It goes without saying that I won't get the farmer
into there. Goddamnit, so heavy!
Is it possible?
Like that...
Thanks.
Finished! That wasn't so bad. I'm satisfied. Goodbye.
I don't like to give up. -Are you giving up?
No, I'm not giving up! I'm saying... I'm not giving up!
I'm saying that now the farmer is in the hammock.
All right!
Satisfied? -No.
Get lost, farmer!
Ok. Then I'll step on that...
You're going into this, you see, you bastard farmer.
Like that.
Now let's look at it.
There I stopped time.
I think I have seen almost 200 tasks. I have not enjoyed myself this much before.
That's cool. You're a nice guy, you.
Yes, Solveig, I was a little unsure if there was a birth going on.
Because this seemed heavy! -It was heavy.
Much heavier than my two births. -Yes, but you did not give up.
I did not give up the births, no.
We'll take a short break, but will be back soon.
Steinar, I was a little unsure if there was a birth going on?
I pooped myself, I did. -Yes?
That's normal when you give birth. -No. I did not.
But I hope... I'm very excited about
the farmer lying on top of the hammock,
contrary to what is called lying in it.
Because I hope there will be some disqualifications here. -There will... Then!
There will be. -There won't be, right, Atle?
You mean some disqualifications could help you? Can we start with some times first?
Yes. Shall we see... Solveig got the farmer into it... let's have a look...
Solveig got the farmer onto the hammock after 5 minutes and 36 seconds.
Ida put the farmer onto the hammock after 1 minute and 2 seconds. - It's in!
Amir spent 14 minutes putting the farmer into the hammock.
And Steinar put the farmer into the hammock in 4 minutes and 25 seconds.
No and no. -Yes.
That's how it was. But I think we'll see the the last one first.
Here is Einar... -I'm not done discussing it.
You're not done discussing it? -We can take it later.
I have a lot of minus points to hand out. Yes!
We can see how Einar solved it. He solved it in a somewhat different way.
Do you remember Magnús Ver Magnússon? The Icelander? [Icelandic powerlifter and strongman]
Holy shit. He was incredibly good at this.
That is fantastic.
When it comes to getting the farmer into the hammock, it is raw power that counts.
Yes, and it was nice to see that you carried through with it even though the farmer was green
and the hammock was white. That was good.
Yes, it could have gone like this: "The farmer has the same colour as the hammock, I'm not gonna bother with this."
Both of you are very funny and very good presenters.
Three have put the farmer in the hammock, and two have put the farmer on.
How do you rate this, Atle?
Very simple, of course. Of those who put the farmer on,
it's Ida who is fastest and crawls into a fourth place.
Followed by Solveig in last place. There is a difference between putting things on top of...
If you, for example, had wrapped them in the hammock,
maybe you could have gotten away with it.
But it must be hanging for it to be in the hammock.
If you roll out a rug on the ground, it lies on the rug.
We must have such strict rules. -That was clear.
These are the rules of this programme. And Amir then gets a third place.
Steinar comes second. And Einar wins!
Overall, you see that it looks like this.
Amir is the leader. It has been a while.
And it's close with Steinar and Einar.
And the girls follow right behind.
There is one task left that can turn the whole game around.
It will, as always, take place here in the studio.
So get on stage, dear participants!
We will play audience bingo.
The participants, you, will be allowed to ask one question to the audience each.
The goal is to get as few 'yes's as possible from the audience.
But if you get zero 'yes's to the question, that's the worst possible result.
You must get as few as possible. You may not ask the same question
that a participant before you asked.
Okay? -Yes, yes!
We start with the one in the lead so far. Amir, please.
Stand here. Ask the audience a question.
Hey hey.
Is there anyone here in the audience who likes me?
Yeah... -Yes.
Yes, then I'll just count.
Yes. -Yes, you got everyone to answer 'yes'.
That's good.
It is fascinating that for Amir it is more important to experience love
than it is to win.
What a shitty guy.
Einar and Steinar, you are on equal points. So alphabetically. Einar.
Thank you very much, Olli. -You're welcome.
How many are there? A few hundred?
Does anyone have a phone number ending in '1 6'?
Ah, one, two... One, two, three, four!
Thank you. Good.
Steinar.
Is there anyone here who turns 25 today?
There's one.
Yes.
Solveig. -Yes.
You were lucky with that, Steinar. -Thank you.
Let's see. I'm using the phone.
Because there are about 200 in the hall.
Is it Kahoot?
And then I write: "One in 200 Norwegians..."
Hold on.
"One in 200 Norwegians has..."
This is fun.
"Approximately one in 200 Norwegians has the genetic defect that leads to the condition"
"which is hereditary high cholesterol or familial hypercholesterolemia."
Where are you? -There's one there!
There's one? -Yes!
Yes.
Well, well.
Ida.
-It's quite a high level here now.
Yes. -One, one, four and everyone.
Does anyone here have a top with large pink flowers?
Yes. -Yes.
There's one.
But of course, there was one up there too.
Huh? -There was one up there too.
I didn't see that. Then there are two! -What are the odds of that?
Really. -Crap.
There were two. -There were two.
Then we are in the situation that we have two in the lead.
And we don't want that. Rematch!
Steinar and Solveig.
You have one more question each. We're starting with you, Steinar.
Yes!
Does anyone here have size 48 shoes?
Come on! -I don't see a single hand.
You should have settled for 47. -Fuck!
Yes! -You have?
There was one 'yes'. Solveig? -Yes.
Can you manage another rematch, or will it be a second place?
Then...
...I ask the following question:
Was anyone in the room born with hip dysplasia?
Yes. -Yes!
There are two! -Oh no.
It's at least more than one. -Are you absolutely sure, like?
One can, in fact, be misdiagnosed.
But you're sure? OK.
There were two there. That means we have a winner, and that is Steinar Sagen.
Go to your seats, and we will summarise the programme.
It's pretty clear what happened just now,
but I can summarise quickly. Amir, you got everyone to answer yes.
Einar, you got four to answer yes. Ida, two.
Solveig, after a rematch... You have raised your hand?
You can finish first. -Okay!
Solveig, you came in second place. And Steinar, you won.
Congratulations. -Five points, Steinar.
You get to ask a question.
I just wanted to say that it felt wrong to cheer so excessively about someone having a genetic defect.
So I hope you are doing well with the genetic defect.
It's the rest of us who have genetic defects [Norwegian: 'gene-wrong']. You have 'gene-correct'.
But that means that today's programme ends as follows:
We have a winner in Steinar Sagen, you guys!
Come and receive a wealth of wonderful gifts and enjoy yourself wildly with them.
The standings so far this season look like this.
And we'll see you next week! Thanks for now.
Original Norwegian subs by Ingunn Løyning (Iyuno-SDI Group)
He can play, too!
Machine translation by Google Translate
Basic english editing by /u/Sulimonstrum
Additional editing by an actual Norwegian speaker, /u/msbtvxq
Final English editing and pedantic reformatting by /u/TaskmasterMaster