Idiot!
No!
Yes!
"Take a sip of digging bar"
Welcome to a new episode of Kongen Befaler,
where a bunch of wonderful people, albeit mediocre fellow human beings,
fight for a sumptuous prize, namely a bust in gold... of me.
And it gets closer in the battle for first place.
But one who has never been in first place is my good acquaintance, Olli Wermskog.
Yes, thank you. - Yes, this is exciting.
So I think we should welcome the people this is really about, in addition to me.
Harald Eia!
Janne Formoe!
Kristine Grændsen!
Martin Lepperød!
And Henrik Elvestad!
As usual, we have asked the participants to bring something that is put in today's pot,
which today's winner gets to take home.
Hopefully you like the thing, or things,
they have brought, and give them lots of points,
which can come in handy in the battle for the bust.
That's right, and today we have asked the participants to
bring in something that Martin Lepperød doesn't know what it is.
That's today's task, Martin.
But what have you been told to bring?
Something you don't know what it is?
Yes, I was told to bring something Martin doesn't know what it is.
Did you know that we were told to bring something you-
No, I thought everyone had to bring something
they themselves didn't know what it is.
That's right, that's what you thought.
Kristine, let's start with you. What have you brought?
Should I not say anything? - No, don't say what it is.
You can show it to him.
At first glance, I thought it was a... menstrual cup?
I hope you're not looking for the word "eggcup".
No, he thought it was a menstrual cup made of wood.
It's a little big, maybe? - It all depends.
No, what this is?
This is a reusable makeup remover.
I see. Made of wood?
Yes, you should have something hard to rub your face with.
Ok. But is that right, Kristine? - No, it's not.
What is it? - This is a "hand inker", as it's called.
Oh, a "hand inker"!
Yes, that's what it is. Made of wood, of course.
I was at the Munch Museum once and saw that Munch had made lots of woodcuts.
And I thought, "I want to do that too."
But Martin, you agree that it's not embarrassing not to know what that is.
No, I'm very glad that was what it was.
Janne, what do you have with you?
This.
I... This is of course... You put it in here.
Warmer. - This is difficult.
Yes! No, I feel this is...
Now I was about to... Do you have a cat?
I have a dog, but it...
Is it to give medicine... from behind?
I can't answer until you... - I say butt medicine for dogs.
Butt medicine for dogs? - Butt medical equipment for dogs.
Janne, can you confirm if that's what it is?
It is not. This is simply an IUD,
which is put in, down there, and rolls itself into this ball,
and makes sure that the sperm does not enter.
I think you let me play with it a little too long.
It's thanks to the fact that this thing didn't work on my mother that I exist.
Yes, imagine that.
What a great story. Harald, you can present yours.
I have this thing here.
That also looks like something I don't want to touch.
Yes, I would've stayed away from that.
To me it looks like...
You put the baby on the floor, or the table. Not on the floor.
And then you can breastfeed like this.
Remote breastfeeding? - Yes.
You know what? I'll give a different answer. - Are you giving up?
I think this is a snot sucker for babies.
So your final answer is? - A snot suction device for babies.
What can you say about that, Harald?
I can say that it is... absolutely right!
It's funny, Harald, that you're celebrating so much.
Because you are the one who won't get points.
But we have only used it for remote breastfeeding.
Henrik Elvestad, what do you have with you?
I have this.
It looks like the type of mobile phone you probably grew up with.
I figured you would fall into that trap.
Is there a speaker here? "Read."
Isn't this a... I bet this is a tool
to measure, perhaps, cubic metres.
That's what it's called, right Harald? - Cubic metres times height?
I bet it's for measuring boxes in 3D.
Very creative answer. Henrik, what can you say?
I must admit that I didn't know what it was myself when I found it in the tool box.
So I had to google it to find out, since I have to give the correct answer.
I have no idea why I bought it,
but it's to find out where the studs are in the wall.
Yes, yes! That's a smart instrument to have.
I've never used it, so it's not that smart.
But I'm not very smart either.
The task is solved, at least.
Then I'm excited about what you have brought, Martin.
Yes, it was really difficult.
I'm pretty sure I know what everything in my home is.
I find it uncomfortable to have things at home that I don't know what they are.
So what I have done is that I have got some help.
I called my dad and said that I'm going on Kongen Befaler
with great people. - Don't start crying now.
"Can't you just record an audio clip that I don't know what it is?"
I haven't heard it myself, but I have brought an audio clip from my dad.
A dad who says, "I love you, my boy."
Shall we listen to it? - Yes, let's listen to it together.
Hi, this is Martin's mum and dad. We are going to say something about him.
Can't we talk about Atle instead? He's so hot.
Haven't you seen him in Norske Byggeklosser [movie]?
He's so sexy, totally my type.
Hey, Martin is our son, and he was the one we were going to talk about. - Yes, but Atle!
No, this...
Do I get a point if I can guess what that is?
Norway's two worst actors.
As long as you haven't listened to it.
I haven't. They may have written a script, but I have not heard it before.
I totally agree that it's not the best performance I've heard.
They might not have rehearsed for eight weeks, like actors do.
Yes, you have answered correctly. Then we will hand out the points.
Yes, there was only one he managed.
Yes, Harald obviously gets one point.
Because we hand out points from one to five, and you get the worst.
But how to rank the rest is difficult. Do you have an idea, Olli?
I think it would be nice to let Martin rank them.
You know what, we'll do that.
You get three points, and then you can distribute the rest.
So what I have left is...
He has already got one point.
Then I give...
I don't think having this power is fun.
Give the power back, then.
No, fuck you!
Two. - Yes, yes.
Two.
Your story was a bit boring. Four.
Then it's distributed, and it's five points to Janne Formoe!
Look at that. - Yes.
The next task deals with a problem that I know you often ponder over, Atle.
Is it how much wine it is possible to get in the wine glass?
Yes, or rather, how much it's possible to get in a wine glass.
Hello. - Hello, Olli, the lackey.
Look at yourself.
Is this what you dreamed of becoming?
A grown man, a pitiful servant?
Yes. - You have to fight back.
You'll never get anywhere in life being so permissive.
Would you like to read a letter? - Yes, I'd love to.
"Fill the glass. You have 10 minutes."
"Heaviest glass wins. Your time starts now."
In this task, the participants get 10 minutes to
fill the glass with as much weight as possible.
The one who gets the heaviest glass wins.
Yes, that should be easy and straightforward.
Well, we'll see about that.
Here we have Henrik, Janne and Kristine filling their glasses.
Okay, I have 10 minutes.
This is heavy, but difficult to use.
Screws aren't that heavy.
Now I didn't have time to think, but I think this might be heavy.
How much can the glass withstand, Olli?
I don't know.
But I'm onto something, right? It's not a bad thought.
But what can we put in the sink, then?
And it's also important not to get too greedy.
If I build a structure around it,
it will be heavy without tipping over. I'll do that.
That's my plan. - A structure?
Now I'm pouring the wood in here. Can you see that?
So I'm pouring a wheelbarrow into the glass.
Now I can put this in there. This isn't a bad idea.
There was no weight on it. It was very easy to move it.
That's a bit bad, for the weight aspect.
The structure must somehow carry and support.
Would you look at that.
There. I'm done. I have to feel it. Very heavy.
I can't see. I can't aim.
For fuck's sake. It's impossible to see.
No! Seriously?
I became too greedy.
Now it is a bit heavy, but also a lot less heavy than it was for a while.
That's because...
Take a sip of digging bar.
I'm not that fond of digging bars.
Now I'm satisfied. There.
Janne, the simple is often the best,
possibly the second best, or maybe even third.
Or maybe not that good at all. - We don't know that.
But it doesn't seem like a winner. - No.
I have some weights.
You need a lot of nails to beat a digging bar.
I can confirm that you didn't beat the digging bar.
We can start with Kristine: 1 kilo and 25 grams.
The digging bar is 6.5 kilos. - Oi, oi, oi.
But Janne, you beat Kristine by 99 grams. 1 kilo and 124 grams.
It was that much? That's surprising.
But we will see the rest.
I have been in Norwegian educational institutions for many years.
Do you know what my great strength is?
Languages? - No, I read the task carefully.
Can't I just throw in some gravel, Olli?
I'm not satisfied. Not at all.
"Heaviest glass wins."
Does that have to be this glass, or can I get another glass?
That's my plan, since it's not specified that it must be the same glass
that is weighed and filled.
Come on!
Is something happening? - No, nothing's happening at all.
Find some glass.
Is there any glass here?
Mirror glass is, of course, a type of glass.
There are many types of glass.
And then I have to find more glass.
Glass, glass.
Like that, then I'll get more glass.
The water is filled up there.
Satisfied? - I am very happy with the solution.
The glass is filled, just so you know the task is solved.
What I think Martin is doing is going for the solution where,
since he's a bit heavy, he pushes himself into the glass.
Not a good idea.
I will fill the glass with myself.
This ended up exactly like it was supposed to.
What are you doing now?
I'm celebrating.
I like to see you triumphant.
If I don't win this one, I don't understand anything.
Let's hear from the guy who keeps track of the scores.
Yes, you want his weight right away?
Martin filled the glass with... 6.9 kilos.
Still, 6.9 kilos isn't that bad.
But I thought you'd be heavier.
Harald, a fascinating thought, I'll give you that.
Do you think I should approve it?
Approve it?
We're done with that discussion.
Yes, you're right. You'll get five points.
Kristine at the bottom, Janne, Henrik, Martin and Harald at the top.
But we still don't know how many kilos he got.
Oh right, I forgot to say that! 23.2 kilos.
It was so little. [humble saying]
But still so much, Harald.
Yes, more than all of you combined, but so what? What does it matter?
Then the total score so far is like this.
Oi! - Martin is on top, you guys!
Together with Janne.
But it's dangerously close.
We're taking a short break. Be right back.
Welcome back. Now it's time for something completely different.
Yes, what about this?
Oh, it's that.
Magic? - No, optical illusion.
"Create an optical illusion. The best illusion wins."
Fun.
What the fuck is an optical illusion?
It's starting to get advanced.
Can I google?
What does optical mean? - Like "optician".
Isn't that a glasses-person?
"An optical illusion is an optical deception or a mirage."
Like you've heard about,
when you walk in the desert and see an oasis.
If it's going to be an optical illusion...
I shouldn't reveal everything in advance.
I'm going for a bush, then.
Dressing up like a bush.
You're going for a bush!
Is that an illusion?
If in doubt, go for a bush.
I have a sad feeling that we don't need to watch your clip, but we do.
He has already revealed it.
Let's take a look at the bush. - It won't take long.
You might have thought that this was a normal bush.
But it's me.
I wonder if you're mixing up optical illusions with hide-and-seek.
But it was a very nice bush, of course.
I solved the task, right?
Yes, in your way.
I think we'll just move on, and not talk about this anymore.
We can take a look at something else impressive. Here comes Henrik.
Can we turn down the lights a little, Olli?
Like that, yes!
It's pretty awesome.
What's crazy is that, when I move my arms out,
then it rises.
Right?
Yes, that's basically what I had.
Yes, what an illusion that was.
I think the point of an illusion is that one should think "how did he do it?"
So you saw the strings, then? - I saw the strings.
It's not uncommon to use strings for optical illusions,
but they tend to blend in more with the background.
But you have so few strings in your house, so I took what I could get.
But when I tried to squint like this,
I almost started believing in it a little bit.
So it's close to something, but then it fell down.
But it was a good thought.
Olli, can you tell me if we have something on a slightly higher level?
Here's Janne. - Ok.
Olli, can you move it a little forward? - Yes.
No, now you have to go back a bit. And a little down.
And a little further up, because now the breasts are showing.
Even further up.
And down again. Slightly further down.
There!
Yes.
It's solved. It's an optical illusion.
I'd say it's almost a bit like Kristine's solutions sometimes.
Easy and simple. - Yes, it's good and it's solved.
More? - Yes, absolutely. Here is Harald.
Atle, as a king, you'd think you had a good eye for details.
That is important in the function as a royal.
Which of these lines is the longest?
What do you think, Mr. King?
You've worked here, Harald.
Funny that you brought up a task that I'm sure
I saw in the scout book as a seven-year-old.
But it's OK. It's approved, of course,
and there was so much work behind it.
One left. Ready for the last one? - I'm ready for the last one.
Something that's cool.
Like, "Shit, how did she do that?"
Now I have an idea.
We're talking about depth today.
What are we going to travel with? A boat?
At least not a caravan!
Yes, yes, yes.
The one who waits for something good, and so on.
You save the whole thing in the end. Good job, Kristine.
I don't understand anything. - Exactly! That's what we must control for.
If this is magic, you have not solved the task.
To me it appears to be pure magic.
She's a witch! - Burn her!
I considered using magic, but I dropped that thought.
We can show how she did it, but,
Martin, what are you thinking right now?
To me, she just removed the caravan.
It's not an illusion.
You just turned off the camera and moved the caravan. - Let's see how it was done then.
Let's see how it was solved.
We're talking about depth today.
What are we going to travel with? A boat?
At least not a caravan!
We have our own David Copperfield, that's amazing. Beautifully done.
There's no doubt about Kristine's score in this task.
Five delicious points.
And then we have four others. - Yes, we'll place the rest as well.
It'll be one point for the bush, we have practically announced that already.
Henrik, you get two. You solved the task.
Yes, I solved the task, but "create an optical illusion".
Harald has just drawn an already existing optical illusion,
he hasn't created one. He should be last.
It didn't say "invent an optical illusion".
And he only gets three points.
What? You can't mean that! - He gets three points.
It's more than a flying typewriter. That's insane!
Or maybe not insane, but... - It was optical, but not an illusion.
You lifted up a typewriter. - That's still up for debate.
Martin at the bottom, then Henrik, then Harald.
Janne finishes second best, and the five points go to Kristine.
Oi, oi, oi.
Do you know what I want to see now, Olli?
I want to see a task where the participants think they are smart,
but they end up being way off.
Then you have to be a bit more specific,
because that can describe many tasks.
Let's say a task involving... one suitcase and two letters.
Feature found. Start comedic clip.
A suitcase...
... and a letter. - Yes.
"Fill the suitcase. You have 10 minutes. Your time starts now."
But why would filling the suitcase be a problem?
What I'm thinking is, it's about getting it completely full.
It's not about weight.
Fill it with what?
It's so simple that I don't even understand why it's a task.
But I don't...
I feel that there's more to this task.
I see another letter!
"Move the suitcase as far as you can."
"You have 10 minutes. The task is over when the time is up."
"If something is removed, or falls out of, the suitcase..."
Ok, I understand.
I have to fill it and move it as far as I can,
and, if something falls out, the time is up.
Yes, yes, yes. - I want to say one little thing first.
Until now, Harald has been very annoying,
but now Kristine is starting to take over that role,
at least for the rest of you.
I can live with that. I enjoy it. - I don't think it will get better in the future either.
I understand very well why Harald is being annoying. It's fun.
Yes, Kristine has figured out that this is a trap.
The participants must fill the suitcase,
which they will then transport as far as possible in 10 minutes.
We'll take an ever so small break, and be right back.
It looks like Kristine has figured it out, so we can start with her.
Can't I add Henrik and Harald too?
So that we get a balanced task? - Yes.
First I have to fill it, so I'll fill it with pillows.
Like that.
Then the time for the move starts.
My first thought was to fill with water.
But think how stupid that would've been.
There, yes.
Now you have four minutes left. - Four minutes?
Yes, ok, that might work.
No, it's leaking!
It's leaking a lot. Here we must work quickly.
Yes, with a little leak along the way.
That won't matter.
Since it doesn't say that it must be full forever.
Oh it's this much.
Now it's starting to be a lot of water.
It sinks faster than it rises. - No, I don't think it does.
What a lovely task.
It seems to be increasing despite leaks.
That's how life works as well.
You can't just have things,
they will always leak, but that doesn't mean you have failed.
This is too bad. It's too bad!
Look at this. Isn't it great?
I'll stop the time.
This wasn't a bad idea.
A new one?
"Move the suitcase as far as you can. You have 10 minutes."
"The task is over when the time is up."
"If something is removed, or falls out of, the suitcase..."
What do we think about that?
I think I'll start the time, and stop it there.
Right away, because I'm losing something all the time?
This went very badly, Olli.
So I'm just done?
Fucking shit task.
There's something called "when you say A, you must say B".
Noted.
I've come a long way!
Time's up!
The most impressive thing is, of course, that you found the other letter right away.
After that, it was quite easy to solve the task, with finesse.
Do you want some results?
Kristine moved the suitcase 753 metres.
That was when the time ran out.
Nothing was removed from the suitcase.
Harald and Henrik moved the suitcase... zero metres.
It should be possible to do well here,
at least compared to the bottom.
Let's see the last two.
"Fill the suitcase. You have 10 minutes. Your time starts now."
"Fill the suitcase."
Can't I just...?
Finished. I have filled it.
Then I'll stop the time.
You want to close it?
Yes, but I don't need to, since I'm not going anywhere for real.
No.
Olli...
"Move the suitcase as far as you can. You have 10 minutes."
"The task is over when the time is up. If something is removed, or falls out..."
For fuck's sake!
Fuck.
There's a staircase. - There's a staircase, yes.
I don't understand where I get out of here as fast as possible.
Come on! - Now it's been two minutes.
Just two?
Damn, we're going to get really far!
But it hasn't fallen out. - No.
No!
We got this far. - Yes, we got this far.
Come on!
Excuse me. No, stop, stop, stop! Help!
Help!
Is it a car? It's a car!
I have a hand inside. I have a hand.
Then just drive on.
Yes!
Good, Martin!
Janne, to have such a good starting point, you messed it up pretty quickly.
Yes. - But you got quite far.
62.5 metres.
Then I'll say the opposite to you, Martin.
To have such a lousy starting point,
you made it surprisingly far.
Really far.
And I just want to quickly say to all of Atle's neighbours...
Sorry.
Because I dragged myself along the street screaming "help" for quite a long time.
And it still transported you 870 metres!
It's the furthest. - Good!
Then I see that Harald has a question.
Yes, because I'm very interested
in this exercise.
I didn't do very well myself,
but I admire those of you who did.
I'm just curious about what happened when he entered the car.
Yes, I was also curious about that.
Atle, when you see this...
Yes, that shoe was originally in the suitcase, and there it wasn't.
So the whole car trip is invalid.
Then you're moved down a spot.
No, you know what? I don't often say this, but "fuck off!"
You move down to second place. - No!
I am saying no! Atle!
I'm serious, I have a defence.
I want the first place now.
I am a whole body. One of my shoes is in the suitcase.
I haven't left the suitcase.
You originally had two shoes in the suitcase.
Relax, you're still in second place.
I don't give a shit about the second place.
Then I'm curious about one more thing.
If that's not valid, what about this?
Yes, look at that!
Both shoes were outside the suitcase.
Yes, then you lose those metres too.
Then I have calculated up to seven metres,
and that is better than zero.
So it's third place.
Yes, that's how it is.
Then the scores for this task are like this.
Yes, then we see that it's Grændsen with five points.
And you see there are two one-pointers.
That might be wrong. Do you want them up to two?
No, I don't.
Normally they would get two,
but this is so bad that they should be very last.
The last place we have as a defined place, that's theirs.
So then the total scores are like this.
Yes, look at that. Kristine and Janne at the top!
They're leading, quite frankly.
But now is the time to get your bodies moving. Get on stage.
Then we have moved up here with beautiful things in front of us.
Now the task is simply to choose a line and a box.
Take the thing that is in the box, and throw it into one of the targets.
If the thing stays in the target...
Yes, now Atle came out with 10,000 points.
That hat is also a target.
Then we multiply the score on the target with the one on the line.
For example, three times Atle's head becomes 30,000.
If you miss, you get the points on the line.
If you hit Atle, it's zero.
You will be allowed to start... Henrik.
Thanks.
I have now chosen two.
And then I take red. - Ah.
A balloon, yes. - There's a balloon here.
That's awesome! - There you go.
Henrik, burst the balloon.
Do you want an earring?
There. That hat there...
Yes, I'm going for it. Why not? - You're going for the hat?
No, that wasn't far away!
You get two points.
Then we go for Martin.
You have to throw a feather.
I'll take green. - All right.
Here's a piece of cake.
Eat the cake and throw yourself, Martin.
Can't you take a bite on the way?
Obviously I'll take a bite before I throw it.
What are you going for? Atle? - Yes, Atle.
I hope he hits.
That's zero points.
Janne?
I choose April. Yellow.
You took yellow, yes? - Yes, I took yellow.
Yes, there is something yellow here.
A kind of indoor football from the gym. Do you accept?
Well received.
Come on. - No!
Fuck! Seriously!
Then we'll take... Harald.
What do you choose? - I choose this one.
And which box? - Blue, like my eyes.
Ah, here is...
A hammer? - A wooden hammer.
What are you going for?
I intend to... drag this towards me.
And then get on board.
And then use my body
to push myself over there, never having walked across the line.
Right, there is nothing in the rules about that.
No, it doesn't say anything about that.
But now I'm more intrigued.
Then we'll see.
I think I know where you're going.
Oh?
Oi.
Kristine... then it's you left.
Does that mean that anything other than walking across the line is allowed?
Rolling? Dancing?
There is nothing in the rules about that not being allowed.
I want orange. - And you go for that line?
That's smart. If you intend to roll all the way,
then why not choose the line that gives the least points?
Yes, that was a bit stupid. - Here we have cornflakes.
Cornflakes. - Cornflakes.
A cornflake. - Yes, a cornflake.
You're rolling.
I think it's interesting that you chose that instead of just crawling.
Everyone has solved the task in their own way.
Let's have a summary down there.
Martin, it's going to be the last place.
Worth it.
With zero points. Janne, you got one point.
Yes, that's something.
Henrik, you got two points.
Very happy with the podium with two points.
Yes, you should be.
There's quite a gap up to second place.
And then we have two who got 10,000 points.
I just have to specify...
Kristine, I said it earlier too.
I know, I could have just gone to the second line and won.
But I was just so embarrassed that I stole an idea that I stopped thinking.
But still, shared first place, with five points.
This means that today's results are as follows.
We have a winner, and that's Kristine!
Get up and take all the things
that Martin doesn't know what they are,
but might have learned now.
The season scores are like this:
Stay tuned next week. New tasks will be solved, pride will be challenged,
and new points will be awarded. See you!
Original Norwegian subtitles: Jan T. Sørsvann (Iyuno-SDI Group)
English translation by: u/msbtvqx
Final pedantic edits by: u/taskmastermaster