No, no, no, no!
"An entertainment square"
Finally, it is time for a new episode of Kongen Befaler.
Welcome to you at home, to you in the audience,
and not least welcome to you,
[Finnish:] my best assistant, Olli Wermskog.
Thank you. Or rather,
[Finnish:] Thank you. My favourite has always been Vegard.
New day, new episode, new highs, new lows.
Maybe we should just welcome our participants?
Welcome to Leo Ajkic!
Karin Klouman!
Lars Berrum!
Hani Hussein!
Vidar Magnussen!
First task. - Yes.
Today I want to see the most impressive
square [any four-edged thing] you have made yourself.
And I think we will start with Karin.
This is a screenshot of my Strava.
That's a running app. - Oh yes, that's true.
Where you see which formation you can end up running in.
And what formation is it? - It's a square.
That was great.
I have run this route five days a week,
the last two months, to perfect...
For real? - Yes. Angles and speed.
I have run outside in sleet, snow, on ice, in wind and bad weather.
I have fallen in Kirkeveien [street] in front of the No. 20 bus.
I have to apologise to the woman in Bogstadveien [street] with a pram.
I ran into you and screamed: "Out of the way!"
You were terrified, you had a child.
You threw yourself out of the way, called me "you fucking 'running fuck'".
And I deserved that. - Geez.
I could have done it in Frognerparken [park].
There are no people there, no animals.
But I did it in Bogstadveien. Full of buses, trams, cars, people.
I'm impressed now that you say that.
I wouldn't originally have thought about those things.
But I did. - But when you put it like that,
it's really impressive. Very good.
The task has been solved. - Thank you.
Wonderful. Thank you.
Shall we go to Lars? - Yes.
I actually have a little picture here
which is an impressive 'square' for me. [can also refer to a group of four people]
Yes.
It's me in a picture with my new girlfriend,
my ex-girlfriend, and her new girlfriend.
I had to sensor them, since they're not public figures.
And if the observant eye can see behind there,
there is Sondre Lerche, of course, [Norwegian singer-songwriter]
who has solved a Rubik's cube with his square gloves.
That's impressive for him, but it's the glasses I want to
focus on, because that's probably
the most impressive square I have managed to make.
I'm obviously not a handyman.
You don't have to say that, Bård.
But I have also put effort into this.
It's a pair of sunglasses
which looks like this.
There are so many squares on this thing that I don't know where to start.
But the compensation for it not looking so good,
is that there are lottery scratchcards all around it.
So this one could potentially be triple
the value of the most expensive Gucci pair.
Wow.
Great. I am entertained. Hani.
Yes. The task was to bring the most impressive square.
I have a friend that I grew up with.
With childhood friends like that, you might not talk for a while,
but it's always nice when they get in touch.
They are the ones who know you best.
You don't have to explain basic things like where you grew up,
and who you were as a child, because they were also there.
So my friend called me last summer and said: "Hi Hani. In about a month,"
"do you want to meet me in the woods, so we can do some painting together?"
Then... I'm not very good at painting,
but with this I was very impressed by myself and her.
This is mine.
The reason we had to wait a month was because
we were going to use our own menstrual blood.
Right.
This is my menstrual painting.
Wow!
Thank you.
Impressive.
It really is art.
I am impressed with both me and her. - What is the meaning?
Freedom, women, love. You choose.
So I can choose it all on my own. Okay. And the task...
The most impressive square you have made yourself.
Have you made the frame as well?
Yes. No, I didn't make the frame, but I framed it myself.
But you haven't made the frame? The only square...
But if I have to choose one square, to be very specific,
I'm very happy with this particular square of menstrual blood.
That's the menstrual square you have brought.
What I can say quite sincerely, is that
that's the nicest menstrual square I have ever seen.
I'll give you that. - Thank you.
Vidar. - Hey hey.
I have made a square. A gray square.
It looks like this.
This is an entertainment square.
It looks normal,
but if you slide here, you get a Wii.
And then you can pull these out on the sides,
and enjoy yourself with a game of Wii there.
Then you keep doing that for a while. Having a good time.
And then you feel like getting something to drink.
There you have a beer.
With cooling elements. Then you can drink some of that.
But then you feel: "Ok, I've been playing Wii for a while, I've drunk all the beer."
"I need some sound to be able to continue."
So then you can do this.
And get a light show.
To stay awake. To keep the night going.
And then there is more alcohol and energy drinks.
You're having so much fun. The best night of your life.
And here you have a little shrine for Bård Ylvisåker,
which you can look at and enjoy.
And then you start to get a little hungry.
So here you have an Avatar candy bowl.
And here you have a scene showing how the Avatar candy bowl was made.
You see it's on green screen. So those are there.
What are the two pink things on the side?
The two pink things... Thanks for asking, Bård.
You are sitting here enjoying yourself with this square.
So your wife is feeling a bit overlooked all evening.
So then you bring this out.
I don't know exactly what's in here, but it vibrates.
So then you keep that there.
And then you play... She's enjoying herself there.
And the last thing is that this box is not discriminatory.
So if you were to have a male lover, you swap that out with a hand.
Then you have a helping hand here.
And the very last thing is that you get wet wipes included.
Wow!
Crazy.
Leo, what do you have?
Listen, listen.
Yes yes yes.
Can you see that this has been carved out from one piece of wood?
I see that now, but...
And it can make over a thousand formations.
Can you show us one of those? - Let's see the square, then.
We really just want to see an impressive square. - You saw it here. Here it was in a square.
Wow.
I think we just have to cut to the chase,
and say that it was a moderately impressive square,
which you didn't make yourself.
Today it's a bit difficult,
so we just have to get you out of the way. You get one point.
You are last. And then we have four extremely good ones.
Hani, I think I have to remind you that it's the frame that is the square,
and the menstrual square is...
There is a square sheet inside the frame that I have painted on!
You know what? You get three points. - With my own menstrual blood.
Yes, three points. - Leo gets one. Lars, you get two.
Sorry. But I enjoyed the story.
And you get three.
Then it's between... Clash of the titans here.
But I actually think I'm going for... You get four.
And Karin gets five points. - Are you serious?
Yes!
Huge effort.
Which means that Karin runs away with
the first five points of the day. Congratulations.
Very good! - Well-deserved.
I felt it was impossible to hurt anyone in this task,
because the level was super high. Love it!
I am ready for a new task.
How about the one where they build a stack?
Yes, let's do that one.
Ok.
I have to breathe. Ok, let's go.
"Make the tallest stack."
"The stack cannot be supported, hung or held when measured."
"The stack is measured from its narrowest point upwards."
"Tallest stack wins."
"Olli will measure it in 12 minutes. Your time starts now."
Measured from its narrowest point upwards?
Why? - Good question.
Narrow. - Yes.
Wide. We have to start narrow.
I'll find the tallest tree and say, "Here's my stack."
Isn't that okay? - It's okay,
but a stack is in many ways like a tower.
Fuck, in Bosnian it's called 'stabla'.
It has nothing to do with 'stack'. [Norwegian: 'stabel']
Do you know what 'stabel' is in Bosnian? - No.
A tree trunk.
That's nice. That helped.
That helped me a lot.
Now I'm going to start. Goodbye.
The task itself involves making a stack
which is measured from its narrowest point.
The stack cannot be supported when I measure it after exactly 12 minutes.
So an important element is that, at some point,
there is a narrow point on the stack. Preferably as far down as possible.
And it's the distance from there to the top.
Which is measured. - Which is the task.
Are you ready? - Shall we look at Vidar and Leo, perhaps?
Yes, great. The ones in the lead.
It doesn't have to be so damn narrow as long as the other parts are bigger.
This, I think.
It's a start.
What's the plan now?
The plan is to get these two on top of each other.
Then I'll go for this.
Ok, time is up in three...
...two, one...
And there.
Now I'm a little scared. - Scared?
The time is up.
Good solutions.
The task is read and understood.
You do the task the way it should be done and make tall towers.
That was nice. It feels like it's the first time
this season that the task was just... delivered.
Do you want heights right away? - Yes, please.
Leo's tower was measured from the narrowest point,
at the bottom of the lamp. 3 metres and 41 centimetres.
Vidar's tower was measured from the very bottom.
3 metres and 89 centimetres.
You're in the lead for the time being. - For now.
The question is then whether anyone can beat this.
Yes, that's the question. Shall we take a look at Karin and Lars?
Yes.
I need a tube.
I have to find the tube. [imitating a sketch show character]
Yes.
You have to stand with both feet on the book,
so that it's the narrowest point.
And then I will climb up here.
Hold on. Good.
Okay. I found a tube.
Now...
Like that.
That's steady.
Olli, let me know when it's been exactly 12 minutes.
Then I'll let go.
Or at least I won't hold on to anything. - Okay.
Two... - Yes.
One... There.
That's good. - Lovely!
The narrowest point is on the little book there.
Because nothing on me is that narrow.
Like that book? - Like that book.
And I was standing like this, so then the task is solved.
What's happening now, Olli...
I'll measure from... - The narrowest point.
That's what you'll do.
So what I ended up with was a fairly good stack.
It is what it is, Olli. - Goodbye.
I feel like I know exactly how you feel right now.
Yes, that was painful.
You have known for months that you have built a really tall tower.
And then you see it onscreen.
What are you thinking now? - I was so careful about it too.
I looked it over so many times and then I see that...
I didn't think... It was one miss.
But that's all it takes in this competition.
One miss is all it takes in this competition.
Because I wish you all so well,
and especially Karin here...
Super tall tower.
And now there will be a discussion.
But in my mind, it's crystal clear.
Because we are born into a so-called three-dimensional universe
and we have to deal with all three dimensions, right?
So when you were standing there, it was incredibly narrow.
That's what I wanted to say.
So what does that mean? What are you actually trying to say?
It means that we measure from the narrowest point,
which in your case was at the top of the stack.
That is very good for me. - It's great news for you.
I can tell you those heights too.
Lars got 92 centimetres, - Boom.
from the bottom of the chair upwards, because that was the narrowest point.
Karin, let's see.
It's between one and two millimetres.
It kind of depends on what we should call...
The resolution on the camera is not good enough for us to see exactly...
Got it.
Sorry. But good effort.
We have one left. Hani. - Let's take a look at Hani.
Is this the longest thing here?
And then I count my ankle as the narrowest point.
It's pretty tall.
Ok.
Three, two, one...
And there.
Thank you. I feel above average confident.
That was nice.
The good thing about you, Hani, is that you're so smart
so we can easily say that here you were stupid.
Yes. - How will it end?
That depends. Can there be points for Hani?
No, she'll be disqualified. - What?
Since you broke two out of the three rules.
You were holding the thing that would be measured.
I haven't been that bad today.
So that was... - Zero to Hani.
Two to Karin, three to Lars, four to Leo,
and five points to Vidar. Congratulations.
This is how it looks. - Look at that.
In total so far, after two tasks...
Yes.
Vidar is still at it.
We'll take a short ad break and be right back.
Bård, are you ready for a task? - Yes.
What do you have for us now, Olli, in that computer of yours?
I thought we could take that task which is really confusing.
Is it an easy task if you understand it?
Yes, but it's confusing if you don't understand it.
We'll take that one.
Hey.
Stripes and fleece?
Do I look weird? - No.
Yes, I'm wearing stripes and fleece. It's cold.
I don't like popping balloons.
Ok, fine.
"Leave the lab in exactly seven minutes."
"You get 30 seconds added to your time"
"for each balloon you do not blow up until it bursts."
"Whoever leaves the lab closest to seven minutes wins."
Can I use what I'm wearing?
I have a watch and can set the time.
Yes. - Ok, start.
"Whoever leaves the lab closest to seven minutes wins. Your time starts now."
I have to read it again.
"You get 30 seconds added to your time for each balloon you..."
"30 seconds added to your time for each balloon you do not blow up"
"until it bursts." That makes no sense.
I don't understand the task!
Yes, it's a bit tricky. It's not so easy to understand.
It's completely impossible to understand.
Not impossible, but it is difficult.
But I will clarify.
The goal of the task is to leave the lab after exactly seven minutes.
You get 30 seconds added to your time for each balloon
which is not blown up until it bursts.
Yes.
And how many balloons are there?
14. So you either have to blow up and burst all of them in seven minutes...
Or if there are 14 balloons and you get half a minute for each,
you can also just go back out.
Yes, you can read the letter and walk straight out.
That would be perfect.
Those are two possibilities. We can take a look.
Shall we start with Karin? - We can start with Karin.
I don't understand.
Should I blow up the balloons or not?
I should not blow up the balloons,
I just have to go out in seven minutes.
Olli!
Okay, so I have to blow... I just...
I'm going to blow up...
Are you planning to burst it? - Wait. I just need to understand the task.
Why is it so incredibly complicated?
I just have to blow them up until they don't burst.
You just... What did you say? - Blow them up until they don't burst.
I'll blow them up, but they won't burst.
Okay. - I feel so incredibly stupid.
Stupid? - I feel stupid!
Is there something I'm missing? I don't understand!
Why don't I understand?
I don't get it!
Fuck, I'm so damn slow.
I have to blow up... I have to blow up all the balloons.
Until they burst.
Okay. I have to leave when it's close to seven minutes.
I have understood the task.
You broke it.
It's a really stupid task.
Burst!
Shit task.
Shit task!
I can't bear to talk about it. Can I please not talk about it?
Can't we talk about it a bit? - I still haven't understood the task.
I don't want to talk about it.
I can say that you weren't the only one where it boiled over.
Unfortunately, you left behind two balloons that you had blown up,
and the one that burst without being blown up.
So you got an additional time of one minute and 30 seconds.
Plus you were in there for well over 12 minutes in total.
Total time of 14 minutes and six seconds.
That was really bad. - That remains to be seen.
Shall we take a look at Lars?
He tends to do things in different ways.
One minute, two minutes.
Four minutes.
Six minutes.
Okay, I have to burst some, at least.
Like that. So I estimate that I have
spent approximately two minutes on this.
He understood it completely. - He did? Yes!
Schmack!
You figured it out. You were in the lab for two minutes and ten seconds.
You did not inflate ten of the balloons,
which gives you five extra minutes.
Two minutes and ten seconds plus five minutes is?
Seven and ten seconds. - Yes, and you were aiming for seven.
Almost perfect. - Fantastic!
Shall we take the rest? - Take the rest.
Now I have spent about two minutes.
Fuck, now it came to me.
Damn, now I'm short on time.
Then I'll blow them up and burst them,
so I don't get any extra time.
Whoever leaves the lab closest to seven minutes, wins.
I will focus on those two sentences and not bother with the balloons.
On top of all this, I'm just glad I had a watch with me.
Then I can focus on the seven minutes part.
And this... I can just ignore.
I think they've all burst, man. If I haven't overlooked any.
One, two, three. Goodbye.
Things roll, things tick.
I understand a lot and I always have a good overview.
Boom. - Thanks.
06:29:99. Thank you for having me.
Bye. - Goodbye.
Bye. - Bye.
Yes.
Vidar, one thing we just have to bring up.
If you blow up a balloon and deliberately pop it,
you haven't blown it up until it bursts.
That's right. - If you blow it up until it bursts, then...
Or pump it up.
Would you like some times and results? - I'd love some times and results.
Leo burst all the balloons.
But there was only one you blew up until it burst.
You popped the others with your hand.
That means you got 6.5 minutes added to your time, which was a perfect time.
Whereas, Vidar, you blew up two until they burst,
and for the rest, you used your hand or something else.
So it's quite even at the bottom. - Yes.
Karin at the bottom. 14 minutes and six seconds.
Hani, 13 minutes and 40 seconds.
Leo, 13 minutes and 30 seconds.
Vidar, second place with 13 minutes.
That's no fun.
And Lars, seven minutes and ten seconds, and five points.
That felt good. - You have earned it.
Bård, have you ever thought about how you would kill me?
Absolutely. Many times.
[French accent:] Then you will love the next task.
I have dressed up as Sherlock 'olmes.
[French accent:] You're speaking with a French accent
for Sherlock 'olmes? Or are you thinking of Poirot?
I'm thinking... - Sherlock 'olmes.
I'm thinking of Sherlock 'olmes.
Should we drop the accent and watch the clip?
"Make this teddy bear disappear."
"Sherlock Olli will be arriving at the property in 20 minutes."
"The mystery Olli takes the longest to solve wins."
"Your time starts now."
This is easy.
What shall we do with you? It's so big.
Can I cut it up?
That was the scariest thing I've ever seen. "Can I cut it up?"
Terrifying!
Okay. This will be interesting to see. - We'll take a look at Karin and Leo.
I want to hoist the teddy bear up a tree.
Let's do it.
There are many doors here.
Here we have something. I'll put it in here and lock it.
Here is the lock.
No, what the hell?
I'm done. Remove all the evidence.
This is so stupid.
That's what I managed, and I'm not proud of it.
But that's how it is.
He's coming.
You look nice. - Do you need any help?
Well... I'm looking for a teddy bear.
I don't know if I've seen a teddy bear, man.
The lights are on up here, Leo.
It's important to pay attention to everything.
There's nothing there.
You killed the teddy bear? - Yes, I know.
Imagine if it's hollow inside and you're wasting time opening it.
That may be, but a part of me
thinks it's strange that it's nailed...
Do you know anything about this?
No.
I have stopped the time.
We'll have a short ad break.
But just relax, we'll be here when you get back.
I don't know whether to praise Karin or yell at you.
I didn't think you would hang teddy bears.
Ideally, she would've liked to cut it up.
Remember that. - I found it eventually.
Leo, you seemed very comfortable with not giving too much information to the police.
Yes, that's true.
I should have locked it better. I should have spent more time nailing it,
because it takes time to open the box.
And you shouldn't have left the lights on in the attic,
or left the hammer there.
The hammer was leaning against the wall right there. So I had some clues.
Okay. - Shall we take a look at... Shall we see.
Lars. Do you want to see Lars? - Lars is good.
This is very easy.
It's just hiding...
Hiding a slightly large person.
One, two...
Fuck!
One, two...
Fuck!
Fucking hell.
Oi oi oi.
Goddamn.
There.
Good day.
Look at that stranger.
I'm just sitting here, reading Kielland's collected works.
My name is Hastings. Poirot was here last week.
Who are you? - I am Sherlock Holmes.
Yes. - Yes.
Fun.
Well, I have stopped the time.
You figured it out? - Yes.
When did you start the time, then?
Over there at the edge of the property.
I stopped the time pretty quickly.
You can stop here.
Well killed.
I thought it was on the other side of the house.
That's annoying.
You saw that, but you didn't see the one in the tree?
That's life. We have two left.
We can look at them right away.
He is big.
I have to make him as small as possible.
I need some tape.
Okay. Behind the fridge.
And then you have to walk around here to see.
Just to see how it looks.
Fuck, you see it there.
It is starting to become a bit square.
Right next to the wall, so it's not visible.
You know what I'm also going to do?
I'm going to make decoys.
Just because I'm a bit of a rebel.
But I'm also a bit cautious.
Vandalism!
Where were you six minutes ago?
Six minutes ago?
I was sweating here.
Why are there obstacles here?
It would have been fun if it was in there.
I see what you're up to...
but it's working.
Olli's walking into all my traps.
Why are the chairs on the roof?
What is the meaning of life?
There are no answers to some questions.
I haven't been in the basement.
Oi.
Then you'll probably expose me.
Do you want to see where it is?
No thanks.
Congratulations. The time won't stop.
Are you declaring failure? - Yes.
You want to give up? - What do you think?
Yes.
The task is very solved.
We are very ready to hear the times, Olli.
Yes, let's see. Last place: Lars. 15 seconds.
Karin, 5 minutes and 52 seconds.
Leo, I spent quite a long time. 20 minutes and 47 seconds.
And then there are Vidar and Hani, where the time is still running.
Shared first place. 5 points.
Then we see the results here. And in total, the standings are like this.
Oi oi oi!
It's time for the last task of the evening. Get up on stage!
Yes.
It's time for a team competition.
You have been divided into two teams.
I'm going to show you some words.
The word I show you, you must try to get Bård to say.
You do that in the following way...
You ask Bård a question of exactly six words,
No more, no less.
One person cannot say all six words. You must say two words each.
Do you understand?
Then we start with the first word.
"LARVA"
Yes. - What is...
The butterfly's start...
Before...
...then?
What is the butterfly's start before then?
Pupa.
That's wrong, so the word goes on.
It's the same word, Bård. We move on to the other team.
"LARVA"
Can you...
Fish with...
This thing?
Yes. - Yes.
Larva. - Yes.
You see? - Then it's 1-0.
We'll take the next word. Round two.
"VACUUM CLEANER"
Lars, Karin and Leo, have you seen the word?
Lars, you can start.
I use...
This when...
I'm cleaning.
I use this when I'm cleaning.
- Vacuum cleaner.
Yes yes yes! - Good!
And then the result is 2-0 to you.
You just need one more point and you win.
Now it's your turn to start, Vidar and Hani.
The word is this.
"TAIL [on birds] / BUTT"
What the hell? - You can start, Vidar.
Cute little...
Back of...
You have.
Tail/butt. - Yes!
Then the score is 2-1. Lars, now you get to start.
This is the word.
Can't tolerate...
Olli...
...and...
The flour's troubles.
Can't tolerate Olli and the flour's troubles.
Sounds like a children's TV programme.
Olli doesn't tolerate glut-No. - He said it!
It's our point!
Yes, 'gluten' was said. So it's 2-2.
It was close.
I was just about to say 'gluten' but you beat me to it.
Then it's time for the finale. That's how it turned out.
The last word comes here, and you start. It's 2-2.
Here you go. This is the word.
"SILK"
Vidar, you start.
The fabric's thin...
Friend from...
I got it there, Hani.
The fabric's thin friend from...
The softness is.
Are you completely...
The fabric's thin friend from the softness is...
Firstly, do you accept that as a sentence?
I'm going to label it as crappy and send it over.
Alright. Then you have that info with you.
Karin, you start now.
Then it goes to Leo, and then Lars.
The fabric is...
Larva-made...
And comfortable.
Yes. That is a sentence.
So... - It was five words.
The fabric is silk-made and comfortable. - He said it!
Oh wait, what did I say?
So the point goes to this team.
We have a winner!
Then we can sum it up... - We had it!
We have it!
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
That was exciting.
We had a mole in the team.
What can we do then? - What do you do then?
We need to get information about that.
"And on one team we have placed a mole."
Thank you, Leo. - I was thinking of you guys, man.
That means one point for the three of you.
Hani and Vidar, you get five points.
That means tonight's winner is... Let's see.
Will there be no end? Congratulations once again, Vidar.
Get up and take all the self-made squares.
Is he unstoppable? Time will tell.
We'll be right back. Goodbye.
Original Norwegian subtitles: Hanna Ness Huseklepp (Iyuno)
English translation: u/msbtvxq
Proofreading: u/taskmastermaster