Really good.
"Olli, do the confetti!"
Ladies and gentlemen,
and everything in between,
children and adults,
welcome to the 100th episode of Kongen Befaler!
Olli, do the confetti!
Alright. - Yes.
You’re saving yourself for nothing,
we have more confetti in here somewhere.
I need to go out of that and into DOS?
Okay.
Here is the confetti!
There we go!
What an honour and privilege it is to sit here
with my colleague and second-in-command,
who was just a little boy when I picked him up in the Finnish woods.
Olli Wermskog!
We get to sit here day in and day out,
to create entertainment for you at home.
Thank you very much for allowing us to go on.
How very sentimental of you.
I am a very sentimental guy,
I just rarely get the opportunity to let it out.
I just need a little break, if that's alright, I just need to unveil...
Here is a bust in gold of me.
I'm fine.
Let's greet our participants:
Erik Solbakken!
Tara Lina!
Else Kåss Furuseth!
Aksel Hennie!
And Bjarte Tjøstheim!
As always, we start with the prize task,
where the participants bring something in a given category.
Atle, what have you asked them to bring today?
I said:
"Bring the worst thing you knew when you were young." [what you hated the most as a child]
I will start with Bjarte.
We're going far back in time, of course.
It just struck me how incredibly old I am.
A lot of people associate this with something nice... I'll get to the point.
It's something as banal as Santa Claus.
I was terrified of Santa Claus when I was young,
when I was 35 to 45.
I get that, because he has a port-wine stain.
Yes, that's right. A drunk Santa Claus.
A drunk Santa Claus, yes.
Did it help when you found out he doesn't exist?
No. - It got worse.
Maybe I shouldn't have said that. - What?
About Santa Claus. Not everyone...
We can't avoid you, Else. What a setup.
I don't want to make a big deal out of myself.
I'm a humble woman who doesn't want to take up space.
We won't spend too much time on me,
but I haven't done well so far.
Some would say that you have...
I've been naked, I've been a cat, and...
It has borne fruit. - It was bad.
So I thought I would be a bit more sincere and go back to my childhood.
I need to take this off before something goes wrong.
The thing I hated the most in elementary school was this vaulting buck.
And my gym teacher Petter Hagen!
Are you alive? - I'm doing fine.
Good. - It’s hot.
Petter Hagen! - You brought the gym teacher.
I asked him to come, and he said "I'm not your father."
This isn't a lifelong commitment, but...
You're a very good teacher...
But I hated you. - Thank you.
And I hated this vaulting buck.
It's so wide and hard to get over.
Petter saw me, as the good teacher he was.
We were working on this.
You won't understand this, so you don't have to pay attention, Aksel Hennie.
You're climbing up the gutter.
But Petter saw this,
so he wanted to help me.
So during every recess, when people were sneaking a smoke,
Petter took me inside...
Nothing dangerous. Into the gymnasium.
He's not that kind of teacher.
We had to practice.
If we did it for three years, I would get a bottle of Solo [orange soda].
Oi oi oi!
I'm almost as old as Bjarte, as you can hear.
It was a bad prize.
Did I ever make it over the buck, Petter Hagen?
No.
No Solo. We're not done yet.
Lovely. Good job.
Very nice.
Tara Lina, what did you hate during your childhood?
Before I unveil it, I want to show a picture of me and my grandmother.
Did she have the same mask as me?
She's dead now. Rest in peace.
She was, like, 90 years old for 30 years.
She was from the countryside in Kurdistan in Iraq.
She loved to grill.
I should perhaps have unveiled this before I said that.
We were neighbours, so we grilled a lot together.
On two occasions, it started raining,
so she forced me to carry the grill inside.
Then we grilled inside with closed doors and windows.
I remember thinking it was quite dangerous,
but I didn't dare to protest.
Did it create a lot of smoke?
Yes, it's a wonder we didn't get carbon monoxide poisoning.
But it has probably affected me.
But the smoke didn't bother her at all?
No, she was used to it. It was apparently normal in Kurdistan.
And we have grandma with us!
That was good.
Erik, what do you have with you?
We are going further into Buskerud. [county]
All the way to Hemsedal. [his home town: a touristy mountain village] - Norway's Kurdistan.
Yes, you could say that.
I've had a very nice childhood, with little resistance.
But one autumn and winter I had a tough time.
The backstory is this thing here.
This is a Puch. A beautiful Puch.
There was a 'cabin lady' from Oslo
who thought you can just leave your things on the local farms.
And you can! My dad said yes.
My brother and I drove it a lot throughout the autumn, winter, and spring.
Then she used it in the summer and put it away again in the autumn.
But then she thought: "I can't just leave it on the farm because of those boys."
So that was my first encounter with a combination lock.
Exactly.
We can laugh, but I don't know how many afternoons I've tried...
00001, 00002...
I couldn't...
You never got out of it. - No, never.
I can feel it now.
People have been to Kurdistan and not got over the buck,
but not being able to unlock this.
People can relate to that.
Great, then...
Is that really your worst memory from your childhood?
Yes, it is. So it's...
He's been lucky.
And I only got 14,500 kroner [£1,000] for my confirmation.
I was a bit disappointed with that.
I imagined I'd get 16,500 [£1,100].
Someone in my class got that. - You sick fuck.
That's a heavy burden.
Aksel?
I was incredibly small as a child.
And I became even smaller in the dark.
I was super afraid of the dark. It was the absolute worst thing I knew.
I had a clock in my room
which makes a sound like this...
That's the sound.
And for my head, which was full of creativity and imagination,
that sound was really dangerous.
And that sound was the continuation of the following lullaby, sung by my mum:
♪ Hushaby lull, boil the kettle full ♪ [well-known Swedish lullaby]
♪ Three wanderers are coming on the road ♪
Where? Where are they coming? They are very close!
They are dragging themselves up the stairs.
So I was lying in my room
and didn’t understand where the sound was coming from.
I wasn't close to realising that it was the clock.
And it was the only thing I could hear EVERY night.
I'm not kidding. It was the worst. I hated going to bed.
I loved being read to by my mum. That felt so safe.
And the song was really nice,
until those three fucking wanderers were coming!
That was just awful!
Well done conveying that story.
We all have our issues, as you usually say, Aksel.
Now I have to rank this.
Ranking people's memories is tough.
We'll do a little twist, which is that everyone starts at 3.
Oi oi oi! Fantastic. - Everyone starts at 3.
I can't be too hard on their memories. - Will anyone stay at 3?
Some will stay.
I think I'll have to lower the Santa mask and the combination lock to 2.
No! You said...
No no no, you said everyone would get 3!
Beaten by three wanderers. That feels a bit wrong.
And the gym teacher gets 5.
Do you mean that?
I mean it. As it should be.
Then it was worth it all! - 5 points to Else.
It must have been very tiring for you too. Trying to get me over it.
Your sacrifice is rewarded. Then we get this result.
Else! Stand up. A big round of applause!
Saying you need toilet paper when you're on the toilet
is like kicking in open doors, isn't it, Olli?
Yes, I would say that's quite accurate.
But what if the door isn't open, but it's locked?
What do you do then?
You're asking important questions, Atle.
And you'll get the answers.
Olli? - Yes.
There is a lot of stuff here.
Come in.
There you are. Emptying yourself a bit.
Not yet.
What is it?
You're cute. - Okay.
"Olli needs a toilet roll."
"Give Olli a toilet roll as fast as possible."
"The only way in with the toilet roll is through this doorway."
"Fastest to hand over the toilet roll wins. Your time starts now."
Yes. No time to lose.
The toilet roll must be handed over to me,
but it can only go through the doorway.
And the door is locked.
Could you... - What did you say?
Were we allowed to use the key?
Yes, you were allowed.
There were quite a few keys lying around. - There were lots of keys lying around.
One was attached to a concrete block,
one was attached to a chain that was just slightly too short.
I saw that now.
And you've given a little hint at your own solution.
I enjoyed that one.
There was also a key made of wax.
I think most of you saw that one, right next to the toilet roll.
But that wasn't a good idea to use.
This is a very classic, everyday issue.
How about we start with Aksel and Bjarte?
That would be great.
Is this a joke key? What in the world?
Nice.
For fuck's sake!
There.
- Thanks.
You wanted that paper, right? - Yes.
There's a key here too. Okay.
No stress.
Of course the other way.
Shit, it's... - Can you hurry up?
I'm doing the best I can.
I'm sure it doesn't fit. Yes, it fits!
Oh dear. Ouch!
Here you go!
It was quite a heavy key.
There we got the answer.
One way to open a locked door is with a key.
Aksel, you solved it in classic Aksel style.
Pretty quickly.
Two of them have given you the toilet roll now.
Yes, they were very quick. Would you like the times?
Would you give them to me right away? - Yes, if the gentleman wishes.
Yes, please.
Bjarte, you spent exactly one minute. - You're welcome.
Aksel, you spent 34 seconds. - 34 seconds!
Then there are three more. You are one of them.
I just have a question. Why weren’t we in that clip?
Else revealed something.
You perhaps didn’t know there was a key there.
Should we just take a look? - We'll take a look.
This breaks.
No, no, no!
It just... It just crumbles.
Here you go. - I'm stopping the clock.
Have you seen 'Scream'?
No, have you seen 'The Shining'?
Very good.
Why are you taking so fucking long?
Argh, toilet roll!
Does anyone need a toilet roll?
Here.
Here you go.
Now I'll leave you alone.
Thank you.
Are you very desperate for a pee?
It's okay. It's starting to wear off.
Erik, what are you doing?
There. The toilet roll with the core. - I've stopped the clock.
What happened there?
Yes.
A bunch of people who were taking their time.
Erik, why was this the best method?
A classic example of overthinking.
In that house, you have a tendency to read a lot between the lines.
Don't say 'you', say 'you'. - I.
And in my religion, it is shameful to present a toilet roll
that has not been properly washed through to the core.
That shame gave you 6 minutes and 14 seconds.
So Erik wasn't the fastest.
No, as said, he spent 6 minutes and 14 seconds.
Else spent half that time.
That's insane. - But it's still fourth place.
Tara Lina with two and a half minutes.
But we already have the first and second places.
Aksel was the fastest. 5 points.
Great. Then we can see here... And after two tasks...
Oi! Else is in second place. Erik, only 3 points.
Are there more tasks?
Should we move on? Or go to an ad break?
We'll go to an ad break. We'll be back shortly.
Shall we tell the audience a little secret, Olli? Shall we?
We shall.
To create tasks, I sometimes just go through a dictionary.
Oh, you're going to tell them that.
Then I randomly stop at a random page, by a random word,
and place my finger on that word.
And that will then be used in the task.
It's a fantastic method. - That's how most of the tasks are made.
I came up with that method myself.
And now I want to use three words I have recently found.
The words are: blocks, vacuum cleaner, and spaghetti.
That's the task I want to see now. - It's coming now.
Hi. Welcome.
Vacuum cleaner.
Good.
Okay, it's time to vacuum.
There are four pieces of spaghetti there.
"Build the tallest tower with the blocks on the table."
"The blocks can only be touched by the vacuum cleaner and the spaghetti."
"You have five minutes, the tallest tower wins."
"Your time starts now."
Yes, they are going to build a tower of blocks.
Only the spaghetti and the vacuum cleaner can touch the blocks.
So not with their hands or anything else.
There's no more hocus pocus than that.
Else, did you want something? - It's completely impossible.
It sounds impossible. - It sounds completely impossible.
It's nice that you say that.
Shall we see if it is impossible?
We can take a look at the construction engineers,
Else, Tara Lina and Aksel.
A trio.
So I can't touch the blocks at all?
It's over if I touch them?
Then I won't do that.
I love this. My god, it's so much fun.
And there you are done.
Oi!
Oh dear. That wasn't good.
It still sucks just as well.
There it is.
What do you think, Olli?
I think it's brilliant.
Do you think Else Kåss would have done this? - No.
I can use this to suck these up.
There, the task is over. - What?
Turn it off.
Off.
I'll say I'm satisfied with that.
You should, because... There, time's up.
Oh no, maybe you should measure it first? - Yes.
That was stupid of me.
No, Olli. You saw that there was more.
What happens after the clock stops doesn't count.
It doesn't? - No.
Please.
You might have a point. We'll see.
Yes, we'll see now.
Yes. We have to measure the tower from when the time ran out.
Even if it was demolished afterwards.
Then it was 31 centimetres.
Aksel and Else, there's no point talking to you.
No, this... this... no. - It will be repressed.
But it's really nice to see Aksel Hennie at our level sometimes.
Yes, it makes one happy.
It's just that when I see things I can play with, I lose it.
That's what happened here. I love this.
The child in me comes out.
Then everything is allowed.
In my head, I was trying to clear the area for an amazing tower.
There are no rules for play.
But we have rules, so that's our fault.
Yes! It's not about me at all.
Yes, I'll take the blame for that.
But show me the rest. - Yes, I will.
Hold that.
Ah, okay. Then like this.
I'll just fill the tube with the round ones.
And when I'm done, I'll take the tube off and let them all out.
I don't need these. Hold them.
There. I think the tube is filled.
Now...
Okay.
How much time do I have left?
One minute.
The Cato Zahl trick. A nice peg. [a Paralympian with a hook for a hand]
Look how strong this is.
You only need a peg in life.
Oi oi oi!
This foundation isn't so bad.
Were anyone stupid enough to use their hands?
No.
How much time is left? - About 40 seconds.
I want to...
One... - I'm satisfied.
Voilà. - Yes.
How much time left? - 40 seconds.
Fuck! Sorry.
Time's up. - I'll take the glasses.
It stood for a short moment. Yes, okay.
It was a very good thought. Fantastic.
But it went terribly.
What a head.
What a setback for humanity that it didn't work.
Everyone wanted you to succeed.
It was the best solution. A very cool solution.
But the tower didn't stand when the time was up.
So we could only measure the one block that was left.
And that had also toppled over.
So it was 3 centimetres in total.
Shit.
You can go through it. It's your field of expertise.
Don't you want to brag about Erik?
Wasn't he a little spaghetti master?
Very good, Erik! Really good!
What a spaghetti master!
Sorry, for not mentioning it, but I was so fascinated by his method.
I love a good method.
But damn, what a result, Erik!
Then you will get the points.
Else and Aksel were disqualified, zero points.
Bjarte, 3 centimetres. Third place.
Tara Lina, 31 centimetres. Second place.
Erik, 48 centimetres. 5 points.
Very good. - Very good.
Olli, I've been thinking about a little thing.
I think you look a bit too good.
I think you do. - That's nice to hear.
The participants have to look stupid on a regular basis,
having to wear helmets and hats etc.
But you always get away with your suit and the same facial expression.
So now I want to see a task that makes you look a bit stupid.
I don't think that will be so hard.
It should be within reach. Let's take a look.
Hello. Oh wow!
You have no eyes. There are the eyes.
"Get Olli's eyes as close to a natural placement on this face as possible."
"You only get one attempt that must be executed within 30 minutes."
Okay, there is one.
And there is the other one.
"The eyes must be inside the circles they are currently in"
"until your attempt is underway."
"You must remain stationary during your attempt."
"The eyes that match Olli's face the best, wins."
There, the time started.
I don’t get what I'm supposed to do.
I can’t be there and there at the same time.
Can I move my arms?
So it's sort of like... eye curling.
Sort of. - It's sort of like eye curling.
That's a sport I want to practice and watch.
Yes, that would be fun.
The task is: You have 30 minutes to prepare a solution.
And the task is underway when an eyeball is moved out of its circle.
Then you have to stay where you are throughout the whole task.
And you have only one attempt.
It sounds a bit complicated.
The eyes cannot be moved out of their circles before your attempt.
Did anyone here cheat?
But they can be lifted and touched inside the circle.
I am excited to see the results. Who do we start with?
Let's start with the three gentlemen:
Erik, Bjarte, and Aksel.
I imagine using
a fishhook in the eyeball.
Then I'll attach a hook here.
Then I'll reel them in.
Like this.
Oi!
This will go really well.
I have a very good feeling.
What’s the plan?
I need to pull your eyes up.
Like that.
Something must pull them together.
Someone should stand here and pull them together.
Go!
Yes!
It wasn't perfect, but it wasn't too bad.
Something like that.
There.
Then I'll do this...
Olli, are you ready? - Yes.
I'm ready.
Like this. - Yes.
You look so crazy.
That Olli looks much more fun than that Olli.
Yes...
Shh! I'm getting something in my ear.
Advert time. - Yes, exactly.
It was a bit macabre, but surprisingly fun.
That Olli looked much more fun than this one.
I'm only saying that to be nice.
Very well done.
Erik and Aksel, very similar methods.
And results. A lot of good, a lot of bad.
Then we have the ladies left.
That's right. Here are Else and Tara Lina.
Can I move this? It doesn't say anything about that.
Ow!
I feel like this isn't right.
"Hi, I'm Jenny Skavlan. Today we're making a kimono from Olli's face." [season 3 contestant, known for re-designing clothes]
We'll do it like this.
Right.
Like this.
Okay. That's the perfect placement.
It's you on a hangover day.
Then my attempt starts now?
Here it comes.
One out of two. - Can I try again?
No.
There.
Satisfied? - Very satisfied.
Are you done? - I'm done.
Yes.
The eyes are exactly where they should be.
Clever to split his face in half.
I usually just see him from one side anyway.
This is exactly how I usually see Olli.
Else, are you sure throwing things is something you should be doing?
No, I shouldn't do that again.
You have 80% of a good idea.
It's perfection up to 80%.
One eye is perfectly placed.
But I was once a bowling champion at 'Mama Rosa Pizza and Bowling' in Tønsberg.
You were?
A champion. - I see.
Then I take back everything.
Yes. - We need to figure out some points.
Hard to avoid...
You get last place, Bjarte.
Both eyes were outside the face. - Yes. Else was much closer.
Was I?
Both of his eyes were outside the face, but one of yours was perfect.
So you get 2 points, Else.
Should we go to the top right away?
I can't separate Aksel and Erik.
They're the same. Shared second place.
Tara Lina gets first place.
5 points to Tara Lina, 4 to Aksel and Erik.
Yes. - Then we can see the total.
Let's take a look at the total before the last task.
Tara Lina is in the lead!
Wow! It's surprisingly close. How fun.
That's good. Now it's time for the studio task.
Get up on stage.
We've made it to the final task.
You all have a sheet of paper in front of you.
Along with coloured markers.
On your paper, there's sausage.
Let's let the viewers see it.
Erik, please show us your sausage.
Wow.
Now you have to bring the sausage to life.
Draw it as human-like as possible.
The least human-like sausage after 30 seconds is out.
Think outside the box.
Let's see what happens.
Three, two, one...
Yes.
They are underway.
Shit.
And five, four, three, two, one...
Great. We'll start with...
Erik has already started, so we'll start with Erik.
Erik, you've shown it. Eyes and mouth. Great.
Tara Lina?
Okay. - Oh. Yes, yes, yes.
Exactly.
Else, you can show yours.
You understood it well.
Aksel?
Yes. Yes, indeed.
Bjarte?
Yes, that's...
Yes. Atle will eliminate one.
It's actually quite difficult.
Many of them had very similar solutions,
but with different quality.
I think Erik is last. - No.
It's the first time I've got applause for a drawing.
And you're the first one out.
Then I'll get applause for that too.
The task isn't over.
It’s time for round two.
On the same drawing, you'll make the face as scary as possible.
Alright. 30 seconds from...
As scary as possible.
The human-like sausage will become scary.
Scary.
Half the time left.
You could've had a commentator or something.
We can see Bjarte is working on...
Don't you have time to do that, Erik?
Yes. - Five seconds.
Bjarte is working on one of the eyes.
This is scary. I'm cheering for you, Bjarte.
Three, two, one... - I like it. A bit of free jazz.
Yes. We can start with you, Tara Lina.
It's...
Yes. Darker around the eyes and red lips.
It's something. - Yes, it's something.
Else?
What...
I'm calling it 'No Title'.
Aksel? - Yes.
Oi oi oi.
Nightmare.
Bjarte?
He has a patch on his eye. And then...
I want to see.
He clenches his teeth while he sticks out his tongue.
Impossible.
Who are you eliminating? - I think it has to be Else.
I agree.
Sit down, Else.
But Bjarte, you're on very thin ice.
I completely understand that.
You have 30 seconds to make the scary sausage sporty.
Three, two, one...
Come on, Bjarte.
Sporty.
Was I eliminated before Bjarte?
Yes, that's strange.
Was I eliminated before you?
10 seconds left. - Lovebirds.
Let's hope Tommy isn't here. [Else's husband]
Five, four, three, two, one...
Yes.
Tara Lina, show us sporty.
Can I explain? - Please do.
Markus Rooth? Is that his name? He won... [Olympic decathlon champion in 2024]
The decathlon. - It's hard to draw sporty.
And you wrote "Olympics" [OL]. - Yes.
Aksel?
What? The keeper from hell.
Yes, yes.
Bjarte?
Now he has sports glasses.
He's running, and there's a lot of snot coming out of his nose.
And now the tongue fits well.
Absolutely. But you're out with that one.
You are.
Aksel and Tara Lina,
make the sausage sexy.
30 seconds from... now.
A sexy sausage that has been sporty and scary.
I must say, both have a way to go.
Damn it.
It's difficult to remove what you've already done.
You need a little red.
This is a great task for children's TV.
Yes, this can be used in several places.
Three, two, one...
Time's up. Yes, you... Then you can start, Aksel.
Yes. - What have you done?
Tits and stripping pole. - Is that it?
There's nothing more sexy.
I thought it was a fishing rod.
Tara Lina?
Could you tell us what you've done?
There are tits and... What did you say? - There are boobs there, yes.
Some breasts. - And hands?
Yes, she's touching her breasts.
Do you have a winner and a second place?
There's a long way to sexy for both of them.
But touching one's own breasts has a certain appeal.
That will be it.
Aksel is second best. Tara Lina wins.
We know the points, but we'll sum it up down in our seats.
Yes, fantastic effort.
A lot of nice drawings. And what were the points?
A lot of great ones, a lot of not great ones.
A lot of both.
We've just seen it, so it's not a secret.
Erik, you're last. - Surprising.
1 point.
Else, 2 points. Bjarte, 3 points.
Aksel, 4 points. Tara Lina, 5 points.
That's fantastic.
Then it's no secret who wins.
In total today, it's Tara Lina!
Tara Lina, come up and receive these fantastic prizes.
We will also look at the totals after four programmes.
Nothing is decided yet.
Tara Lina, come and get these fantastic prizes full of painful childhood memories.
Today we have seen that Erik is meticulous when he delivers a toilet roll,
and Aksel eats dry spaghetti when he is annoyed.
We'll be back soon with more fun. See you!
Original Norwegian captions: Helge Haaland (LinQ Media Group)
English translation by: u/msbtvxq
Proofread by: u/taskmastermaster
Translation produced in association with: Taskmaster Worldwide Inc @tmworldwideinc