Really good.
"The evil little cousin"
Welcome to Kongen Befaler,
the programme that yanks and pulls at your smile muscles,
diaphragm and laughter muscles.
And not least at the soul of the man who,
by Norwegian standards, appears sullen and depressed,
but by Finnish standards, he appears bubbly and life-affirming.
Olli Wermskog! Yes!
Thank you so much for a nice and quite generalising introduction.
And someone who does not need a nice, or generalising, or a further introduction,
is this: a bust in gold of me.
Yes. Huh? - That's nice.
And the gang over there, who need no other introduction than their names.
Erik Solbakken!
Tara Lina!
Else Kåss Furuseth!
Aksel Hennie!
And Bjarte Tjøstheim!
Yes, the prize task.
The task where everyone brings something in a category given by you, Atle.
And where today's winner gets to take everything home at the end of the episode.
Since you are who you are, it’s you who decides who has solved the task best.
Today's prize task is as follows:
Bring something you really shouldn't have.
Is that understood?
Bring something you really shouldn't have.
It could be anything.
Who do you want to start with?
I want to start with Western Norway's great son, Bjarte.
I had hoped to win 'the longest prize of the night',
but I've lost that one too.
You lost your confidence right away.
But, well... - Oi!
I should have never gotten these slalom skis that I bought when I was 14.
The same year I was confirmed.
All my friends had slalom skis and said:
"Aren't you getting slalom skis, Bjarte?"
I didn't want them, because it was just downhill all the time.
To avoid the peer pressure,
I bought some cheap used slalom skis from my neighbour Bjørn Erik.
He said: "before you start using them, you need to take them to a sports store,"
"so they can adjust the bindings according to your weight."
"Okay." I didn't think much about it,
because I wasn't going to use them anyway.
I just wanted to avoid the pressure.
So, the night before I was supposed to go skiing,
I went down to my basement and thought
I should prepare the skis for Sunday morning.
So I adjusted the bindings myself.
I found a screwdriver,
and I thought the boots were supposed to be
as tightly secured in the bindings as possible.
So I tightened the screw as much as I could.
The next day, Sunday morning, I took the ski lift up to the top.
At the top, there was a flat area,
where I was supposed to get myself over to the slope.
And that's where it happened. On the flat area.
I was practically standing still,
but I still lost my balance and fell forwards.
The boots were, of course, completely stuck in the bindings,
so both my calves broke at the top of the boots.
No, no.
But the sweet thing about that situation
is that I was carried to my baptism by my mother,
and then I was carried to my confirmation by my father.
Oh my God.
Wonderful.
The task is solved.
Erik, what should you never have had?
I left NRK four years ago. [Norwegian national broadcaster]
At the time, I thought it would be nice to have a memory from that iconic workplace.
So I went down to the basement alone and took something
that I thought would be a memory for me, and NRK wouldn't care.
The last email I saw before I logged off, almost for good...
"Almost", because I work there again.
...is this email.
"To everyone at NRK: Hi, a somewhat unusual inquiry."
"The sign for the warehouse is gone. Has anyone seen it?"
It's such a nice sign too. - Very nice.
But when you quit, and walk out the door for the last time,
you don't come back on Monday with this sign.
So you stole this. - Technically.
Something tells me it needs to go back now.
I have a feeling about that. NRK-people like this show.
So a new email is coming. - And they love to be able to forgive.
I'll give it back tomorrow. - Well done.
Tara Lina. Your turn, Tara Lina.
I was really drunk one Sunday at four o'clock.
I'm a woman in 'my worst age', 29 years old. [the opposite of 'in my prime']
Then I had a notion that I wanted a rowing machine.
I went out and got a rowing machine.
Within an hour, the rowing machine was in my apartment.
I have a 30 square metre apartment.
Only a sofa and a rowing machine.
It’s so big too.
Did you buy it on Finn [online marketplace] and collect it yourself?
No, I was tricked by my colleague Abubakar Hussain.
It was his, and few months earlier he said that I could have it for free.
He had worked out enough? - Yes.
This time he said I could have it for 9,000 kroner [£633],
I said 8,000 [£563], then he said "that's fine".
Okay. Lovely.
Aksel, what is it that you shouldn't have?
I'll say sorry in advance, Atle.
What I shouldn't have is another man's underwear drawer.
Another man's underwear drawer?
This is another man's underwear drawer.
I shouldn't have had that.
I should never have had that.
That drawer has been removed from this closet.
I've actually forgotten the name of the owner,
but I'll see if I can find any hints.
Here is a book.
Atle Antonsen and Johan Golden's 'Cabinet minister won dry-cured ham'.
A clown nose.
Is there more?
Oh!
Atle Antonsen's 'Dag' season two.
What do we find here?
A Comedy Award, best male... It's yours.
It looks very much like mine.
Well done.
This programme wasn't supposed to affect me.
Else, what should you never have had?
We're laughing and having fun.
But inside I am nervous and worried.
I should never have had
four Amanda awards. [film awards]
Best male lead, 2003, 2009, and 2014.
Best director 2005. - Who could those belong to?
Let's see. There's something inside here. I know that.
Because it's not Bjørn Sundquist's awards? - What is this?
"Amanda Award zone 4 at 22:00."
"Seat 1, row 1, Aksel Hennie", it says.
I'm putting it back. - It's yours, yes.
Row 1, seat 1. Then you know you have winning chances.
Are you guys visiting each other's apartments in your spare time,
and stealing underwear drawers and awards?
Apparently. - He wasn't home,
but you had a really nice home. - That's nice to hear.
It's not 17 square metres, to put it that way.
It's 30, please.
Yes, how will you distribute the points here?
It became both close and painful.
And far apart as well.
Always sad to give 1 point.
But it will be 1 for you, Tara Lina.
Just 2 for you, Erik.
You outed yourself as a thief and everything.
Outed myself as a thief? What are these guys doing then?
"You shouldn't steal"...
Then we're through with you two.
The low points are always the worst. You get 3, Else.
Rebuttal? - One thing is stealing your old underwear.
But to get on the wrong side of Aksel Hennie?
He only gets 4.
The winner is Bjarte. - Yes, yes!
It was a good story.
But it should be possible to get you back down to earth.
I don't doubt that. - The next task is about balls.
Then it’s a short path to ball jokes.
That can easily happen. - But we're above ball jokes on this show.
No-one here would stoop to that level.
We have the best people Norway has to offer.
They only go for quality.
That means no jokes about balls in this clip, I'm sure about that.
Olli! - Else.
Now I saw something I don't want to see. - What?
This is completely out of the question.
I'm not going up there.
There are numbers on them.
2, 3, 4, 5, 5, 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 100. Points?
300?
Can I feel it? This is a bowling ball.
That's right.
There are many balls here.
Yes.
"Score points by getting balls to lie in the hammock where it's currently hanging."
"Always stay outside of the oval circle."
"Only the balls that are in the hammock in 10 minutes count. Highest score wins."
"Your time starts now." Fun, fun, fun, fun.
Yes, Bjarte.
I tried my best to hold back, but I couldn't.
You don't discriminate when it comes to jokes.
They're all equally good. - Yes, thank you.
That's great, but still, we have to put you on the naughty bench.
So we won't show your attempt yet.
A little reprimand. Where do we start then, Olli?
Not with Bjarte, but all the others. - Yes, we'll do that.
Always stay outside the circle. 25 points. Okay.
Yes! Great. There.
This is completely insane.
Incredibly good job.
This is so much fun.
Yes!
No, did it fall down? No.
I thought at first that this would be fun.
No, that didn't work. Message received. This works.
This might not be a bad idea.
No. - No, no, no.
No!
Let's hope it doesn't fall down.
No, damn it.
Yes!
Now it's getting scary, because I have points.
I can easily mess up with one, and then all of them fall out.
Come on.
I don't know if I should wave the white flag.
30 seconds left. - Half a minute left?
Yes. You know what?
I'm satisfied with that.
5 points? 4 points? I don't know.
Here it comes. Olli.
Five, four, three, two, one...
There! - Yes!
That was in! Wasn't it?
Yes. - Exactly at zero.
Three, two, one... And there.
Yes!
Perfectly timed!
Olli, Olli!
Look at this! Look, how nice.
Okay. Why stick with five points?
That looks great.
When you can go for the big bell cow. 300.
Let's stop joking, let the magic roll. [this rhymes]
How much time is left? - 20 seconds left.
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,
five, four, three, two, one.
And time's up. - Yes! Yes!
It's so nice!
Finally. I've pushed the laws of physics in so many tasks.
Now I made it.
It was so nice.
Erik, you're going the extra mile.
No wonder you're getting emotional.
Great moment. I liked it. You were happy there.
Aksel, there's no lack of self-confidence
when you try to puncture a bowling ball.
I hadn't felt it beforehand.
You're just thinking "anything is possible".
Anything's possible. Always. Always. Always.
Not a bad idea, if it was within the rules.
Else's? It was in the hammock at the moment when the time ran out.
So it's accepted.
Just like Aksel's was in, but fell out right after the time ran out.
So far, they're all approved.
Was I b-b-b-better than Aksel Hennie?
We'll see. It's not decided yet. We don't know how this will end.
No. But before we see the last person, I can announce the scores.
Erik has 300, Aksel has 225, Else has 100.
Yes! - Tara Lina has four.
But we have more left. - Absolutely. We're not done yet.
If anything... If not anything can happen, at least something can happen.
We'll take Bjarte out of the naughty corner and take a look.
He's off to a good start. It's a good start.
I need to feel the balls a bit, if that's okay to say.
That one is out of the question. 300 on that, yes.
They're rolling down here. Jut a moment.
There's a hammock here too.
Does it have to be in that hammock?
Olli, it says here:
"Score points by getting balls to lie in the hammock where it's currently hanging."
There's one hanging there too.
Okay, okay.
I'll leave that there.
Three, two, one. Finito.
So good.
Are you for real? - What do you say now?
What kind of day is this? [a catchphrase from his podcast]
What's going on? How do the rest of you feel?
Was that there the whole time?
It was.
Do you think they hung it...
We didn't hang it there just so he could win.
This isn't Kongen Befaler Paralympics special.
Yes.
That was a full score for Bjarte.
With a bowling ball, yoga ball. and everything. 525 points.
Lovely. - So good.
So we have a final result, right?
Yes, Bjarte on top, 5 points. Erik gets 4...
Olli, wait a minute.
Hello? I have someone in my ear.
It's from the VAR room. - No.
Yes, yes, yes. It's VAR. It's taking a little time.
No. - Yes, exactly.
No!
A little further ahead. Go on, let's see.
No, no, no!
That's good. - Oi oi oi.
Erik, believe me when I say this, this gives me no joy.
You were inside the line, so you're disqualified!
What does it look like then?
Then Erik goes down, while the others go up.
Then it looks like this.
Yes, that's how it is.
Still a wonder of all wonders. Tjøstheim in first place.
There's something about this day.
Yes.
And overall, we can see.
This is the overall score. - Oi oi oi!
Yes, Erik. Erik is asking for the floor.
I've been looking forward to this for several weeks.
And now I feel a little revengeful.
No.
What's that?
I found this in the house. ["GIFT CARD"]
What is it?
What is this? - We can see it here.
It's so tempting.
There you go.
Be careful. - Oh, hi.
Gift card!
"You have found a gift card from Atle. The gift card has a value of 10 points,"
"which can be used in the studio."
"It must be used by, and not after, episode 6."
Congratulations! Yes!
That's outrageous.
Aksel is really angry.
I have imagined that.
"I won't be part of this."
That means that, with this gift card, we can see what the scores look like.
It has changed a bit. - Look at that.
No, that's not possible. That's cheating!
Not possible!
After all this, we need a little breather.
We'll take an ad break.
Yes. Olli, you know that I love music.
Especially live music, and especially jazz.
Yes, you are crazy about jazz.
I'm crazy about jazz.
That's why I've snuck in a little treat for myself among all the tasks.
Let's hope the treat tastes good. - The gang is excited, at least.
Hey!
Am I... Oi!
What do I do here?
Should I open all of them? - No.
You should open that one. Then you'll understand.
"Jam..."
That's my middle name.
"Jam with the other contestants."
"You are a jazz band consisting of five contestants with unique instruments."
"You draw the instrument you'll play from this bowl."
"Don't worry if you can't play your instrument."
"Your mouth will be your instrument."
"Overall enthusiasm will also count positively."
"The jam starts in three minutes, and will last for 30 seconds."
"The best 'jammer' wins."
How fun.
I've dreamed of this since I played saxophone at music school.
Trumpet! Not far off. The evil little cousin.
Double bass.
Saxophone.
Guitar. Di-di-dum.
Even just doing that was embarrassing.
That's the trombone.
A jazz band.
So it's like, balam-pimp!
Isn't it... yes, no. - Aren't you a drummer?
Yes, actually. So...
Imagine that. I would have been great at that.
And in free jazz, the drums are super important.
Drums.
Wasn't that... Is that a drum?
I...
For Else, a cat and a drum are exactly the same.
Very promising. - No, a cat is...
Those drums would have been on point, if you were supposed to play the tuba.
Then it would have been good.
Look at him! - Erik.
"This is fun!"
This is your type of task, Erik.
I can't take credit for that energy.
I'm nervous about the rest. - You set the bar high.
The fall could be great.
I look forward to seeing the result.
Olli, what about you? - I... We’ll see.
Alright then.
This is going to be embarrassing.
And five, six.. and five, six, seven, eight...
Time's up. - No, I haven't started yet.
I haven't started yet.
An encore.
I've never been so happy not to be part of something.
Wow.
How do you feel now, Bjarte? - I need to go straight to therapy.
You've heard the whole jazz quintet.
There are also possible bonus points for enthusiasm.
Does anyone stand out in any direction?
Many stand out in a direction.
No doubt. A lot of standing out. What do you want to say, Else?
Was I a bit good?
No, it's difficult to give points here.
There's a close contest to be the worst.
So I'll just let several of them be the worst.
It's not any harder than that.
1 point? -Yes.
1 point for Tara Lina, Aksel, and Else.
No! - For all three.
Else gets one extra point for enthusiasm. Sorry.
Did you see what I did there? - This show is rigged.
What did you think about Aksel's double bass?
It was bad, that's why I gave it 1 point. - How did it go again? Let me hear it.
No, I got 1 point. I will never do it again.
It was better than Else's. And the enthusiasm was...
But you're not the judge.
I don't think it was any better.
Those points are distributed.
So we'll do the rest.
Tjøstheim wasn't bad.
But not the best, because Erik was the best.
5 points. You get 3 points, Bjarte.
It's rigged. This show is rigged.
4? 3? - I'll give him 3.
Yes, I'm ranking based on quality.
Then I think Erik is 2 points better.
That's special. - It's a little special.
But a lot has been special today.
I must say.
Olli, now it's time for something spectacular.
No, no, no. - Yes, yes, yes.
How about a spectacular self-timer?
Spectacular self-timer? That's good.
The stairs are so exhausting.
Okay.
"Create a spectacular photo."
"The photo will be taken with a self-timer in exactly 30 minutes."
That's the camera.
"The photo Atle likes best wins. Your time starts now."
Spectacular.
Spectacul...
That's nice. Thanks. - Any thoughts?
As usual, 783 that need to be boiled down to one.
It's difficult to know the definition of 'spectacular' for Atle.
Does he think anything is spectacular?
The task is to take a photo with the self-timer after 30 minutes.
So they have 30 minutes to prepare something spectacular.
We can take a look at Else and Erik. - Let's do that.
Anything can be duct-taped.
If you duct-tape me to the tree.
I have to admit that I'm enjoying myself now.
We have been here in this fantastic house.
We get that it's somewhere in Eastern Norway,
but who are the people surrounding this place?
Now we're ready for the neighbour edition.
I'll gather as many neighbours as possible.
We'll give it a try.
I need to pee a little.
Sorry, just forget it. Go ahead.
Do you ever think about...
...how stupid the world can get?
Yes.
Okay. Everyone is in on it.
There are only lovely people here.
Here they are.
Hello. Wow.
How much time is left? - 22 seconds.
Take that away.
The golf ball first. In my mouth.
The picture was taken.
10 seconds left. Start waving. And the rest of us...
There we have it.
Thank you so much. That was great.
Yes.
Very well thought out, Erik.
Spectacular.
There's nothing quite like a pensioners' party in the garden.
And you managed to get the shirt off a neighbour. Good job.
It was spectacular. Well done.
It was a motif that can last for a while.
You also chose one that can last, Else.
I don't know what you like, but I thought this might be up your alley.
It wasn't bad.
I also like that you seemed to enjoy yourself.
You liked it well yourself.
I thought: "What does a man in his 50s like?"
We still have three spectacular photos left.
Who should we see now?
I was thinking Tara Lina and Bjarte.
What’s waiting for me in the shed?
Two confetti cannons.
There's also a bucket with various fireworks and treats.
I need to do something that...
But timing it to exactly 30 minutes is difficult.
Spectacular.
It's faster to do it this way.
Then I'll take the stairs.
I will fill this with petrol.
Then I'll sit in front of it and have a smoke.
And at the last second, I'll...
My plan, Olli, is for you to shoot the cannon,
while I have a lot of fireworks around you.
It doesn't feel like this is enough petrol,
but we have to try with what we have.
How much time is left? - 58 seconds.
57, 56, 55.
54, 53, 52...
11, 10...
You have to say "now". - Now. No, fuck!
Turn around! Come on, Olli.
Five, four, three, two, one...
Fuck.
To walk away from here,
knowing that there's petrol that didn't...
...that makes me depressed.
That was sad.
Let's take a break. We'll be back right after this.
That was a bit sad, Bjarte. - It was very sad.
It would have been spectacular with an explosion.
Let's take a look at the photo.
There you go.
It looks like you're in the band CC Cowboys. [Norwegian rock band]
This picture... It might not be today...
...but if this was placed under a panel in a house and found in 100 years,
they would wonder: "What the hell we they doing 100 years ago?"
"A guy in front of a bathtub on a hill, with a bowler hat and wig."
"What were they doing?" It just has to grow with time.
But as of today, not very good.
But with time...
Let's see Tara Lina's too. - Absolutely.
Look at this! Can the timing be better?
Many would've wished we were done, but we're not.
No, we have one left. Are you ready for the last one?
I'm ready for Aksel.
Can I just say, I have sky-high expectations.
We’ll take a look at Aksel.
This has to be good.
I moved the camera from the garden to this motorcycle.
There are about eight minutes left.
So we're going on a ride. Come on.
Yes. - Yes.
Did you take the photo? - I think so.
Do you know how it turned out? - I have no idea.
Can you explain to this simple man from Lillehammer
what your concept, or idea, was?
The idea was that I always think it's fun to show off.
Oh, do you? - Yes.
And one of the coolest things I know
is low shots in a tunnel with a motorcycle.
I think that's cool.
That's spectacular to me. A little Hollywood and fun.
So I'm excited to see how it turned out.
Yes, let's see the photo. It was from a tunnel.
No, no, no.
The spectacular thing is
that I didn't take a picture of anything.
We can look at all of them.
Suddenly my picture turned out quite good.
Very good.
No, it’s not your day, Aksel.
1 point for you here.
Based on my tastes, Bjarte could have scored many points.
But we must follow a general thread when it comes to tastes.
I'm a bit too peculiar. So you get 2 points.
Else gets 3. That's self-explanatory, in a way.
Tara Lina, 4. And 5 to Erik.
Well done.
Here are the points for this task.
And then we'll see the totals before the final task.
In total... Oi oi oi! Erik, 22!
Purely on your own merits, you have managed to get 22 points.
That must be a record.
But everyone is sitting at home and subtracting 10 points from Erik.
Do I now have more points than Aksel Hennie?
Yes, you do. 10 and 11.
You actually do. But it’s not too late to ruin that.
That can still be ruined.
Get moving! Up on stage.
Yes. You have moved up on stage for the final task.
The rings are coming down from the ceiling.
Oi oi oi! - No applause, but that's fine.
No no no, we don't need it. That's good.
You will blow soap bubbles, one-by-one,
from that platform, through those rings.
The one in the centre gives you 1 point.
Then 5, 10, 50, and 100 points over there at the end.
You have 30 seconds to blow the bubbles.
The one with the most points after 30 seconds wins.
Let the games begin.
Tara Lina, are you ready?
Oi oi. - Come on!
Yes! You've got this!
Yes! - 1 point.
Go for 100! - Wow.
Imagine this becoming an Olympic event in 7-8 years.
Together with breakdancing. - Four, three..
And an Australian will do very well. - Two, one...
Okay.
Bjarte! - Yes.
Ready, Bjarte? - Yes.
Come on, Bjarte. - Let's go.
They believe in you in all of Western Norway, Bjarte.
It's so beautiful. - Bjarte!
That was close. - Yes.
Bjarte-Bjarte-Bjarte! Bjarte-Bjarte-Bjarte!
Five, four, three, two, one...
Very good.
Aksel.
And ready, set... - Should I try 100?
Take 1 point. - Don't embarrass yourself.
What a lung capacity. - Just look at that!
Oi oi oi.
Now I'm rooting for you.
Are we rooting for him or not? I don't know.
Go for 100, Aksel.
Come on, just do it. - It would be so nice.
No, no!
Then it's Else.
Come on, Else!
Come on, Else.
I can't do it. - Upward, Else!
Else, upward. There we go, come on.
Come on, Else. - Good, Else. Come on! Yes!
Yes! Yes!
I've never experienced this before.
Look at Else! Oi oi oi!
Amazing!
Erik.
How many points did you get? - 50. And 1.
Are you ready?
Oi oi oi. No! Sorry, yes, yes, yes.
Yes.
Oi oi oi!
Yes...
Come on, now.
Come on, Erik.
Or? - Now, look now!
Yes!
Did he get it?
Yes.
Now you've all done it.
We need to take another look,
then we'll go through the scores down in our seats.
Yes.
Yes, that was...
At times impressive 'bubbling'.
We had to calculate quite thoroughly,
going through the pictures several times.
Yes, lots of back and forth to get the final result.
We'll start at the bottom, with two bubbles, Bjarte.
Very good.
That's not bad. - No. It's something.
Then there's a tie.
We went through your bubbles, Aksel.
The first one burst before the ring, the second burst after the ring.
So you ended up with six in total. The same as Tara Lina.
That's third place, together with Tara Lina.
Else, 51.
And...
...Erik, 310.
Good. Then we have the points here.
Yes, the points are here.
It might not be very exciting, but we'll see who wins today.
It is... - Yes, who can that be?
Oi, oi, oi. - It's Erik.
I want to point out that you won by 11 points.
So you wouldn't have needed to use that gift card today.
That's true.
Too bad. But Erik, come up and receive all the prizes.
They are fantastic, beautiful and useful to you.
Think about all the things you shouldn't have had.
This is what the total score looks like after five episodes.
Erik has taken a big bite in the fight for the bust.
We'll be back next time with more of the same, just different.
Remember, it's better to have 10 balls in the hammock
than one ball joke on your CV.
Thanks for watching. Goodbye.
Original Norwegian captions: Helge Haaland (LinQ Media Group)
English translation by: u/msbtvxq
Proofread by: u/taskmastermaster
Translation produced in association with: Taskmaster Worldwide Inc @tmworldwideinc