Really good!
"Ball, ball, there, built up"
Hello and welcome to another episode of Kongen Befaler.
The show based on tasks where everything is measured precisely
in height, score, time, and my own personal judgment.
Next to me is the man who measures all other results,
the Prince of the tape measure and the Duke of the stopwatch, Olli Wermskog.
Hi, hi, hi.
Here I am, and there you are.
Here I am. Episode six.
How do you think it's gone?
I think it's gone pretty well.
Earlier this year, I was at a stopwatch camp...
The prize is a bust in gold of me.
Let's say hello straight away to Erik Solbakken.
Tara Lina!
Else Kåss Furuseth!
Aksel Hennie!
And Bjarte Tjøstheim!
Well, well, well.
Let's get started. What's the first task of the day?
We're doing the prize task, and today you're going to
fix, arrange, or bring something that makes me shudder.
Exciting.
And whoever solves it best gets 5 points.
That's how we usually do it. We'll hold onto that.
I'd like to start with the greatest son of western Norway.
That would be Bjarte.
We'll start with something that looks innocent: a handkerchief.
But if you don't have this, it could be disastrous.
I'm on the plane, British Airways, from Oslo to London.
My wife...
I've been so generous that I've put myself in the middle,
and given her a window seat, as the gentleman I am.
Next to me is an Englishman in his 40s,
in a pinstripe blazer and jeans.
Looking super smart, hair combed back.
As we taxi out towards the runway, here's what he does.
He blows his nose in his bare hands.
And then he wipes it on his trousers.
Immediately, I gag.
I lean over to Kristin [wife],
she doesn't believe what I'm saying, and I whisper...
She thinks I love her, and I do.
I'm leaning extremely over, so that I'm lying on top of her.
I explain it to her and she doesn't believe me,
so then I'm like, "Keep an eye on him."
The plane taxis towards the runway, and as it starts to take off,
he's blowing his nose again.
I can't handle this.
No!
No.
The flight attendant comes running. "Are you okay?"
"No, we're not okay. Two gin and tonics, please."
This became... Now I actually shuddered.
A distinguished British gentleman, in his finest attire.
Absolutely awful. - Brilliant, thank you.
Else, we'll take you.
Me? Yes, you shudder at snot.
But do you know what you shudder at? [puts emphasis on the 'R' that she can't properly pronounce]
Atle Antonsen. Monsieur Antonsen.
It's bad humour.
You like good humour, not bad.
Well, I'm not the only one.
Don't do something...
I'm going to give you bad humour.
I'm just going to get ready.
Just talk for a minute. Do what you normally do.
The last time Else said that, she got naked. So I'm excited.
Then you can introduce a task. - I'm glad.
Should I just pretend? A very warm welcome to Kongen Befaler.
It's very nice to see you at home, you in the studio,
and not least you, the contestants, who...
Antonsen!
Is this where an interrupter character is wanted? [parody of a popular 'interrupter' skit from the '80s]
You're an interrupter character? - Yes, and you're a presenter.
Are you the janitor? [original character] Or a cleaner?
I don't know my own name, but I'm here to surprise-- Oh, there are people here?
What are you doing here? I'm making a TV show.
I'm going to clean the bust. The bust is skinny, and you're fat.
Drammen Theatre. I'm just gonna clean a little.
You're very interruptive. I'm in the middle of a show.
You're in the middle of a show?
How unfortunate that you came here by mistake.
I'm shaking in my thighs out of shame.
But I'm standing tall. And I'm still going.
Until security comes to get me.
You're shuddering because you don't like bad humour.
Something tells me that you're shuddering as much as I am.
Yes, and I have a big head, so it's painful to wear a wig.
You feel like you're wearing it?
To be honest, I didn't see you were wearing a wig.
Even if you're out of character, it's never coming off?
No. - No, exactly.
You're shuddering a bit.
A very good try.
A good try? Don't talk to me like I'm a loser, I could be a winner.
Well, I'm a lot sweatier now than before you came in. That's a good sign.
Who's next?
Tara Lina is next. What makes me shudder?
I've heard rumours that you're a die-hard Liverpool fan.
I'm really into Liverpool. - That's not a secret.
So I've enlisted AI expert Herman Henriksen
to make a picture of Atle Antonsen...
...in Man U...
That's wonderful.
We can't show this on TV.
It's been shown.
Are you shuddering?
When this is out of context later, I'm screwed.
Yeah, this makes me shudder. It really does.
On top of that, portraying me as a bit cool with the hat askew.
That's almost even worse. - You look like all Kurdish dads.
Doesn't this hit the mark of the task?
I liked it.
Yeah, you liked it.
We're moving on. Erik.
I've been trying to figure out what makes you shudder.
I've pulled out some stories from Hallingdal,
that I thought might make you shudder, but you're a surprisingly nice guy.
We've been hanging out like a gang.
But I've found out one thing that makes you physically shudder.
A pretty simple thing, really.
Before every episode... - Are you going to a classic?
Can you hold that, please?
...we have a meal together.
And it's like when this fork...
...strikes porcelain in a slightly unfortunate way.
Why don't we see for ourselves?
It's like you don't like that...
No, no.
That one. - It's not great.
It's a classic.
It's making quite a few people in the room shudder.
Yeah, it's not nice.
A simple answer, but a good answer.
Aksel. - Yes?
We haven't seen you.
My prize task is over here.
Can you come over here, Luring? ['Luring' = sneaky/cunning/clever]
Sit, sit.
Sit.
Do you want a treat?
Where should we put it?
In Atle's ear? Sit, sit.
Put it in Atle's ear?
Put a lot in Atle's ear.
There you go. There you go.
Yes, good dog.
Go home.
That worked.
I'm telling you. That worked.
Are you ready to score?
Well, am I?
I don't want to score anybody, really.
I'm gonna give it a twist, since I'm so exposed.
Everybody starts at 3 points.
Nobody's coming down from 3. - Oh, boy, oh, boy.
That's how close and good I think it is.
But I'm gonna have to jack you up to a 5, Aksel.
Should we go to 'backwards land', Olli? [children's song about everything being 'backwards']
No, I think you're thinking of 'backwards duck'. ['duck' = 'and', rhymes with 'land']
I'm not thinking of 'backwards duck'. It's 'backwards land'
No, "in backwards 'duck', where anything goes." [lyrics from song, but with 'duck' instead of 'land']
"Just as silly and weird as any 'duck'." - That makes me shudder.
THAT makes me shudder. 5 points to you.
Just start the task, Olli.
Hi. Hello there.
What are you looking for? - Just... There it is.
Doesn't look too bad.
"Get the rubber duck in the bird bath from as far away as possible."
"Your back must be facing the rubber duck when it lands in the bird bath."
"You get one extra point if the duck stays the right way up."
Like that.
"Your last attempt counts."
"The rubber duck must float in the bird bath within 10 minutes."
"Your time starts now."
Clear as day, really. Anything particularly important to remember?
Everything was said quite clearly, so everything should be clear.
Like it usually is. Then we can get going.
Let's get the herd of ducks going.
Go like this, and then I'm going to pick it up.
I can go like this, and then I can...
...quickly turn around. Right?
I just... I mean, perhaps this could work.
I'll just try a regular throw.
I'm wondering if I should do an installation.
Look at this construction right here.
That's nice.
I call it "The Perfect Little Dive of the Duck."
My precious little one.
No.
No!
Some encouraging comments, wouldn't that be something?
From me? - I really need some response.
Wow, you almost got it.
Close.
Maybe it's smarter to get a little closer.
The closest.
No, I'm not going to tape the duck to it.
I'm just putting double-sided tape underneath.
In other words, you're taping the duck to it?
Yes, that's exactly what I'm doing.
How about there?
That's it. Let's see.
That might be alright.
I'm not gonna be overly cocky
because it has the potential to not work.
But standing over there throwing, I don't believe in that.
It's much better to throw down and turn around afterwards.
10 seconds. - One, two, three!
Yes! No!
Time is up.
If I go like this, Olli.
It's in, isn't it?
Morbid.
Yeah, somewhat. It suits me.
Olli, I'm gonna let go. Ready? - Yup!
Three, two, one.
There you go.
Yes. Happy? - Yes, pretty happy, actually.
I wish I'd done this a long time ago.
Five, four, three, two...
Can I turn around now?
Do you have a smoke?
No. - I've never had a cigarette before.
I'm going to do some measuring. - You do that. Bye.
There are two that stand out here, but we'll start with another one.
Then we can work our way up from there. Else.
What was the thinking here? You give it a thousand goes.
The same way.
And at the end, you raise the difficulty.
After you haven't been able to do it.
You're thinking like a pole vaulter.
It's very strange, but it didn't occur to me that you could build things
and use your imagination in any way.
I just did what I've always done.
Just give it my all, and then it goes to hell.
Because there was no victory.
Bjarte, could we call your solution 'a low-level walk in the park'? [in Norwegian, this idiom includes the word 'plank']
Helplessness at a very low level.
You were going to throw it once, and then you just carried on.
There was no need to think of something new.
No, it was terrible.
Erik and Aksel, I guess they're both next level.
Very similar, only a metre apart.
But I've noticed... - Aksel's lucky metre?
No, there's something else he's noticed.
I've noticed that you've been sitting there like that,
shaking your head ever since you saw it. - That's right.
Why are you shaking your head? - I don't want to say.
He's a beaten man.
I can say it. - You say it, Else.
Because it was supposed to be...
You know the rules.
I've dressed up as the headmistress.
You were supposed to stand with your back turned.
Why don't we take a look at it?
There you are, Aksel.
Look at that. Very impressive,
but you're not standing with your back turned.
But you're not much better, Else.
You missed.
It's much more important to Else that Aksel doesn't do well.
What have you learned from this show, Aksel?
That when I'm having fun,
I block out anything but what I think is fun.
And that's not always a good idea.
No, it's not like you've been following the rules your whole life.
No, no, no.
And you've had to pay for that more than once on this show.
Ask me what I've learned.
What have you learned from this show? - That beating Aksel is a lot of fun.
A lot of fun.
Unfortunately, there are two disqualifications.
There are two disqualifications.
Else didn't finish, and Aksel... - I didn't finish?
No, you didn't get the duck into the bird bath.
I love that you were questioning that.
I don't know if we were watching the same thing, but it didn't go in.
I still don't understand it.
Then I'll retract my cocky tone.
Because you thought you had succeeded in the task?
Two disqualifications, Else and Aksel.
You're in third place, Bjarte.
And it landed the right way up, so you go from 3 to 4 points.
With a one metre plank. As easy as that.
Tara Lina,
you get 4 points as well. It landed on the side.
Erik, you get 5 points, plus 1, because it landed the right way. 6 points to Erik.
Superior. - That's lucky.
That's not bad. Here are the scores. And then your totals.
Yes, Erik's in the lead. But it's pretty close.
Else, it's still possible.
Do you notice how I'm building you up now?
I've torn you down. I'm going to build you up again.
It's time for some adverts. See you soon.
New task. - Preferences?
Tower. - Made of...
Duplo. - Okay. That will...
Be transported. - The furthest? - Yes.
With an extra element of difficulty. - Only holding on to the beige block?
Yes. - Got it.
Here's the 'transport the Duplo' task.
Home turf.
Yay, Duplo.
Do you like Duplo? - I love Duplo.
Should I hold onto this?
Since it was on top of the letter?
I'll do that. I'll put it here.
Can't fool me.
I'll try to be smart and think it through.
"Bring a tower of Duplo blocks as far as you can in 3 minutes."
"The number of Duplo blocks built vertically"
"is multiplied by the number of metres you move."
"You can only hold onto the beige Duplo block."
Right! - There it was.
"You can only hold onto the beige Duplo block"
"when you move outside of this square."
There, yes. - Yes, it's that one.
"The task ends the moment"
"a Duplo block is removed from the tower outside the square,"
"or when your time is up. Your time starts now."
Okay...
There are some rules you have follow.
The contestants will be making a tower out of Duplo blocks
and take it as far away from the square as possible.
And when they move, they can only hold onto the beige block.
And the number of Duplo blocks is multiplied
by the number of metres they move.
And the sum of that is their result.
So if I only take the beige block and run off...
Then you'll get that multiplied by the metres.
Exactly. Clear as a whistle. - Yes, pretty clear.
And then the task is over if the tower breaks on the way.
As it should be. Shall we see how it went?
Yes, let's have a look at the whole lot,
in a kind of Duplo-building symphony.
"Your time starts now."
When is my time up?
It says in the letter.
There.
"Bring the tower as far as you can in 3 minutes."
Am I stupid now?
I just need to start building.
That's what I have to do.
"The task ends the moment a block is removed."
I can only hold onto this now?
Am I supposed to walk and build at the same time?
I'll put these in there then.
Just to bring some.
Where are we now?
You've got half a minute left. - That's fine. Bye.
How far can you go in half a minute?
That's what I'm wondering now.
There, your time is up.
There.
What's the time now?
You've spent 1:50.
Then I'll get out.
That concludes your task.
But... I didn't hold it?
What does the letter say?
Hold onto it.
My tactic is to build up high and then run from here.
Within a very short time.
How long has it been?
Now it's been 55 seconds.
55 seconds. I think I'll stop at about 60.
Which I'm thinking is now.
I don't look particularly clever at the moment, but I don't anyway.
Oh, yeah!
20 seconds left. - 20 seconds left?
Your task is over. Here.
Here, yes.
I don't think it went that...
...that bad.
Are you trying to trick me?
"The task is over"
"the moment a block is removed from the tower outside the square."
10 seconds left.
Three, two, one. - Like this.
I didn't understand the task.
Darn it.
How many minutes do I have left?
You have about 40 seconds left.
40 seconds? Then I need to get the hell out of here. Bye!
No!
Don't. Please.
That concludes the task. - Please have mercy on me.
Have mercy? Oi. - Please. Please.
There's a lot to talk about here.
I'll start with you, Tara Lina.
You know there's no mercy here.
But something tells me you're used to get what you want by begging.
You're really good at begging.
Yes, it was pitiful to watch. I apologise.
My apologies to the Norwegian people. It will never happen again.
I'm sure the begging usually works, but not here.
But that doesn't matter,
because like Else, you're holding onto more than the beige block.
So none of you passed.
Don't put me in the same category as Else.
But an excellent solution on the wing here.
I'll say.
That was awesome.
But I'm wondering, why did you put blocks in your bra?
That's more of a private fetish.
The result is, Tara Lina and Else were holding it, so zero points?
Yes, they didn't pass.
Which means, Erik, you are in third place.
Well-deserved! Well-deserved.
You took 23 blocks 40 centimetres out,
which gives you 9.2 points.
Aksel, you transported 19 blocks 83 metres and get a score of 1577.
And Bjarte, 14 blocks transported 201 metres is a score of 2,814.5 points.
Congratulations.
Now, I want to see the contestants create something.
They're going to use their hands and their brains to create something.
A chain reaction, for example.
That could be fun. Chain reaction. Fantastic!
I've seen a lot of cool chain reactions on YouTube.
It's so impressive. The bar is set very high.
It's fun, and it was also fun to see what the contestants are about to do.
Hello. - Hello.
Hey. - Hi.
Bonjour.
You're cheerful.
Do you want me to take that?
What should I do? What should I do?
Should I take it out of there?
That's too silly.
Fuck.
"Create a chain reaction that causes this balloon to burst."
"You cannot affect the chain reaction as you go, just start it."
"The balloon must burst within 33 minutes."
"The chain reaction with the most elements wins. Your time starts now."
Thank you. I'm assuming I shouldn't break this.
That gets to stay as it is.
Yes. The winner of this task is the contestant
who creates the most elements that influence each other
in a so-called chain reaction, so that the balloon bursts.
In other words, it's important to create many elements that influence each other.
Which is the concept of a chain reaction, right?
One element hits the other, and suddenly, you're there.
The most of those.
And take good care of the balloon.
That's also very important. So that it doesn't burst.
That's very, very important. - Well explained.
Here are Bjarte, Tara Lina and Else.
"Your time starts now."
Shit... Okay.
Can I put it gently here?
It's yours. - It's mine. It's mine.
I'll go out to the shed.
Well...
If you go like this...
If there were dominoes.
A thousand dominoes like this, and finally, a pin into that.
The winner.
Not bad.
Not fucking bad.
I think I should have a good chance of winning.
Is it okay to be that cocky?
I'll go like this, Olli.
Are you ready? Here we go.
What an anticlimax.
I don't know how I'm going to do this.
I wasted 33 minutes playing dominoes.
You've wasted 26 minutes.
Now I'm wasting precious time, but it would be a shame not to try.
It's fun.
I think...
I can't do it! The scissors are fucking...
They're not even sharp. They're all blunt.
No wonder it doesn't burst. How much time do I have left?
12 seconds left. - 12 seconds left.
Eight seconds, seven, five, four...
There you go. - Task completed.
Now I've created a... chain reaction.
That's when... Hold it while I do this.
Solved.
The worst thing is that I don't remember any of it.
You've repressed this?
I don't... Who is that lady?
I don't stand by that, but I mean, is that a chain reaction?
And at the end, you're like, "That's solved. Now I've solved it."
You think you've solved it?
You were standing next to Olli and popped the balloon with a needle,
with a pile of clothes around you.
But listen.
It's a chain, but where is the reaction?
It's a chain reaction. - It's a chain, but I don't think...
The clothes don't affect your movement towards the balloon.
You were onto something when you talked about Tara Lina's idea.
Then you knew that something must affect something else.
It's a spiritual power.
My solution suddenly seems a bit clever.
Among many amazing things, perhaps the most amazing.
Let it marinate a bit, Atle.
Tara Lina, you're onto something quite clever.
But your ambitions slowly fade.
It's sad to see you with the scissors at the end.
Then you're in the same category as Else.
Don't put me in the same category as Else.
It's your responsibility not to... - Else is on a different show.
I am not here.
But you've made her feel at home, Tara Lina.
We need to talk about how many chain reactions there are.
Else... - That's one.
You get one chain reaction. - And Tara Lina?
You get a reaction.
Tara Lina gets one. Same thing. - It's not exactly the same.
But the worst thing is that Bjarte gets two.
Are you serious?
Yes, because you put the balloon down, and then you walked away.
And then, in a way, the table or something else took action.
Then it was something spiritual!
So you get two. - That's fantastic.
Who would've thought? - Unbelievable!
We have two more to go.
I can't guarantee such a low level of what's to come,
but I can guarantee strong emotions and big plans.
I'll be inspired by the office desk.
But the bigger, the more tremendous you make it...
This is definitely a task for me.
I wish I had a week.
I just have to start somewhere.
Right in the horse's ass!
That's the plan.
I don't know exactly what will start...
I wish there wasn't something in the way that could potentially trip me up.
I hope there isn't.
I hope this place is completely clean.
Hey! No! No, no, no.
Yes!
Hat off!
Ball, ball, there.
Built up. Boom.
Okay.
Aksellll!
I'm coming for you!
Ready?
Oh, that feels good!
Argh! No! No!
Nooo!
Son of a bitch.
Do you want a burst balloon?
Do you want it?
Bye.
Son of a bitch.
You know what we're gonna do?
A little commercial break. We'll be back soon.
Erik, I can feel your frustration.
Good idea and a fantastic setup.
Obviously, some weaknesses down the system.
One more pipe could have made a difference.
I must say that I did a lot of testing.
Solid plan and calculation.
I had a different test balloon and then the last part worked.
I was standing up there thinking...
You were Leonardo da Vinci there for a moment.
I was standing there thinking--
I know there are a couple of people from Hemsedal here today...
I was thinking: "If I can do this now,"
"I've never thought grander."
"There will be a bust in gold of me in Hemsedal."
There will be anyway.
But that didn't happen.
Aksel, beautifully done, of course.
Solid craftsmanship.
This is how I wanted the worst attempt to be.
But very good. Let's get the points.
The crazy thing is...
Bjarte, you get third place.
Will you take a little bow and a round of applause?
Best pay of the day. - Yes, it's fantastic.
And then Erik had three reactions.
You, bowling ball, and chair.
And then Aksel had 11 elements.
Congratulations.
Shall we see the total? - The total so far today.
Wow, it's close at the top!
Nothing is decided. We can feel it.
Now, it's time for the studio task. Hep-hep!
It's exciting.
It's the final task.
We want you to bring out your inner street artist
and create a caricature of...
...this guy, Atle Antonsen.
The drawing will be judged on two things:
As much of a resemblance as possible.
Looks the most like Atle.
And it should be the least flattering.
Very dangerous territory.
Yes, it's a dangerous territory.
So let's say, keep it within the limit [of what's socially acceptable].
You get two minutes, and your time starts now.
Two minutes.
Oh, you're doing that...
There's no better television.
There isn't.
Aksel, are you good at drawing?
I love it.
So do I. I love it, too.
Don't forget to be evil.
Okay.
Evil, but within the limit. That's a feat.
You have 10 seconds left.
Now I'm enjoying myself.
Now it's... five seconds left.
Erik is turning in the exam at noon.
One... - No, wait!
...and there!
Else, the only one with the drawing towards her.
I don't think she's been mean to me, because she likes me so much.
We'll see. Else I love you.
If you look here.
My eyesight is very bad. That's an advantage for you guys.
I've written here "No neck."
With graffiti... It's true though, look at him.
But it's well drawn. - No neck.
I've got an arrow to his genitals.
A small one. And written "You know what this is."
There isn't a massive penis? - You know what this is, dot dot dot.
And then a quote, "I'm Atle, and I'm biased towards Aksel Hennie".
You know he will do great here.
Ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching. All you ever think about is money.
Having a smoke.
And you got a tattoo on your chest that says "Aksel".
Great.
Aksel, I will let you go next.
Here's a beloved and well-known comedian.
That's a good drawing.
He's holding a little pennant, where it says "Spurs".
And what is he doing? Pissing on a Liverpool flag?
No! - Yes, yes, yes!
He's pissing on the Liverpool scarf.
That's evil.
But I can see that I've finally got skinny legs.
Yes.
Very slender and nice legs.
Yes, they're called "smokers' legs".
Great. Shall we have a look at Tara Lina's?
I'm regretting this.
Atle, I love you a lot too.
This is...
I can't see... What am I doing? - Je suis Atle Antonsen.
You're drinking and publicly masturbating.
The police is coming.
Yes, great.
I've at least done it many times.
Bjarte.
You're allowed to explain it.
The mouth got too big.
I couldn't decide how small your neck would be.
So here's a series of attempts.
I wanted some...
You made a very long neck.
That's nice of you.
I think I'll just put it down.
That leaves one star artist. Erik.
A very happy artist as well.
One that takes chances. Art is about taking chances.
I've taken a chance on everyone mistakenly thinking that I've misunderstood,
that I went with a perfectly normal child's drawing,
of a house and a sun.
Well, you can see for yourselves.
But this...
Yes, that's good.
This, my friends, is our dear friend Atle dropping his soap in the shower.
It's signed it because I believe this will fly.
Well, Atle. I think you need to have a little extra look at them.
I'll have an extra look and then we'll give the scores down there.
These weren't very flattering, but neither was the task.
Most of the drawing skills weren't very flattering either.
A shout out from me to you Bjarte. And Erik.
I'd like to put you in joint last place.
But both get 2 points.
So nobody gets 1 point.
Is it okay to say...
I didn't sign up for a drawing show.
This was gen-- Does anyone want it?
Yes, a lot of people want it. -Yes. Go for it.
There, you're rid of it.
Do you miss it? - No, I don't.
It was ugly, I agree.
Okay, we've divided those scores.
Three quite good ones.
Yes, in different ways.
A lot of provocative stuff in Else's drawing.
No throat and small penis?
What I care about the most is the "just thinking about money" part.
That really hurts to be accused of.
Greedy?
Is that worse than...
You get 3 points for that.
Thank you very much. - That's not bad.
I'm very pleased with that. Thank you very much, noble sir.
We've got two good ones. It's a portrait resemblance as well,
and you can see that the other two look more like me.
A completely different class.
In that sense, that's right, but briefly summed up,
4 points to Tara Lina, and 5 points to Aksel.
It has to be said, and the scores are in. Let's have a look.
Here are the scores for this task.
And then we'll see who wins the episode.
It's Aksel who gets the prizes.
I hope you'll enjoy a bunch of things that make me shudder.
The battle for the bust is tight and here's what it looks like right now.
This will probably be a thriller.
Today we have learned
that if you remove a chain or a reaction from a chain reaction,
you just end up with a pile of clothes.
Thanks. We'll be back before you know it. See you then.
Original Norwegian captions: Ståle Waren (LinQ Media Group)
Original English captions: LinQ Media Group
Additional transcription and translation by: u/msbtvxq
Proofread by: u/taskmastermaster
Translation produced in association with: Taskmaster Worldwide Inc @tmworldwideinc