Oh, yeah!
Come on!
"Cat being squeezed"
Welcome to Kongen Befaler, the Rolls-Royce of comedy shows
where unprepared contestants solve tasks
for no other purpose than to entertain us.
And that same introduction goes to you, Olli Wermskog.
Thank you. Today, I have really high hopes for this episode.
I give the episode a seven on my 'Hswpstfnopteu' scale.
Hmm? - Okay?
The 'Humour Show Where Participants Solve Tasks For No Other Purpose Than Entertaining Us' scale.
But only a seven? - That's the top score.
The highest score is the highest prime digit. Then it goes down.
Moving on! We're staying at the top end of every scale in the world.
Here's a bust in gold of me.
Fighting for this coveted prize are Henrik Fladseth,
Ina Svenningdal,
Ole Henry Snildalsli,
Pernille Sørensen, and Thomas Numme!
Yes.
It's an excited bunch sitting here. We can see the totals.
Ina actually leads the whole thing.
It's 9 points from top to bottom. It's that close.
One of the not so close ones here is you, Thomas Numme.
You're the only one who hasn't won an episode so far.
Will it be today?
Funny you should ask. Yeah.
Today's the day!
What have you asked them to bring today?
Today, I've asked you to bring something from a closed chapter.
Could be pretty much anything.
I'd like to start with you, Henrik. What did you bring?
I brought this little rascal.
Wow. - A canoe?
A teeny-weeny canoe.
It's not a shuttle?
I have no idea. I really don't know.
Maybe it's a moustache case, for when you're sleeping.
You've lived a while, Atle. To say the least.
Maybe this tool was used when you were a young man in Lillehammer.
Anyway, it's something from a closed chapter.
A lot of people think it's a fake moustache. It's not.
It's a shuttle that you use when weaving. That's my best guess.
There's a rod here. - The one you weave through?
Are you unsure? - It's usually flatter.
And it's got wheels. - Is it from a closed chapter?
No, hey... - I think so.
You're so scared of failing that you insist on it.
But you've accomplished the task. - It's from a closed chapter.
A mini-canoe, a shuttle, or something like that.
Ina, what did you bring that's a closed chapter?
Right.
I've had this for a long time. I've had it long enough.
And I've just been waiting to come on Kongen Befaler
to bring this to you.
And here it is, the legend.
Yeah.
Most people remember that Trond Fausa brought four or five of them
in a season a few years back. [see season 3]
I'd love to win it today because there's a Facebook page called
"We Who Think Thomas Numme Looks Like an Owl."
Lovely.
Ole Henry, what have you got?
We're going back to 2000... Well, middle school.
Eighth, ninth grade. Then I went for a change of style,
and this is what I wore.
Here we go. I'm gonna change my clothes.
You're not going too far here? No, right!
Wow! - Like this...
Just wait and see. Some water in my hair.
Right.
You had a bowl cut back then? - No, that... And then...
You didn't have a bowl cut? - No, I had
the coolest side cut ever. - Right. You had a side cut.
Wow, look at this.
Look at this.
And then...
That's not bad. - It's a totally different guy.
I thought, "I'm going to be a minister."
Or a business man.
This was fascinating.
Do I have to stay like this now? - For the rest of the show, yes.
Lovely. This is good. Numme.
Yes. This is just a dummy cloth.
It's too big to put underneath, so I have to go and get it.
If you'll just give me a minute.
Dummy cloth. - Dummy cloth.
This is Late Night. Please welcome Thomas and Harald!
[they co-hosted the talk show 'Senkveld', or 'Late Night', from 2003 to 2018]
A warm welcome to an absolutely closed chapter.
But tonight, we have Pernille Sørensen,
Ole Henry Snildalsli, Ina Svenningdal,
and to tell us about the difficult days on Kongen Befaler,
Henrik Fladseth.
And a big round of applause for my dear friend, Harald Rønneberg!
Lovely. - That was clear.
There will be no more of that. - No more of that.
But you stick together anyway. He's not a closed chapter?
No, just Late Night.
Lovely answer. Nicely accomplished. Pernille.
I have...
20 years ago, my husband and I bought a house.
After about a year in that house, I decided
that I was gonna buy a punching bag to put in the shed.
I thought I was gonna become someone who was out boxing in the shed.
That's why I also bought a pair of boxing gloves.
I think in the 19 years we've had that bag hanging in the shed,
I've boxed maybe seven times.
Wow.
It's been seven times. Every two years.
And then I've boxed really short. I just pop in and do a bit of this.
What I thought was going to be a thriving boxing career,
I've had to realise is now a closed chapter.
After 19 years, you're retiring?
Yeah, basically. I retire as a boxer.
So now someone else can enjoy these and box a lot.
They're welcome to come and get the bag.
Because it takes up a lot of space.
So that's five different things. Pretty good stuff.
Pretty good. - Fun with the guy in the middle.
Absolutely. Shuttle, 1 point.
The owl lamp gets 2, although it was a precious reunion.
Okay. That's fine. - But Pernille gets 3.
4 for the changeover, and I'll give you 5 for Late Night.
Shit. - Two?
Now I want the combination of old weaponry art, precision,
and garden-based status symbols.
You want the catapult as the theme. - That's what I want.
Hey there. - Stop.
Right.
"Catapult something into the fountain."
"Catapult"?
Is that a word?
No. Huh?
"You cannot move within the marked area."
"Fastest wins. Your attempt will begin in 20 minutes."
Okay.
That one. Yes.
It can be as simple as that to get a catapult in.
The contestants will make a catapult to catapult something in with.
They have 20 minutes to prepare.
The fastest to hit the fountain from behind the line wins.
I might even call this easy peasy. Who do we start with?
I thought I'd start with the ladies. - Nice to start with the ladies.
There, and then... Yeah.
Yeah! Yeah. Easy.
Three, two, one.
Just need to adjust the direction.
I just need to make sure they're secure enough.
Lots of dirt.
Here we go. Yeah.
No! What happened to that hole?
It's in! - It's in.
I like that you must point out that the duck's got in there.
I was surprised that I could do it.
Didn't think so? - No.
It's hard to aim with the bottom of your foot.
Ina, it doesn't count as a catapult if you just place the duck on a ski
and then throw the ski, I would say.
There was something missing. - I don't know catapulting.
But what she did was catapulting. She pressed down...
According to the encyclopaedia, "a catapult is a throwing machine"
"used until the late middle ages,"
"and can be a collective term for different heavy throwing weapons."
I guess we'll have to approve Ina then.
But is the encyclopaedia in charge of this show?
I'd trust that. - There must be some sl...
No! There isn't. She was throwing with a ski.
That doesn't fit MY definition of a catapult.
She kicked with her foot. - It had a catapulting effect.
So, the scores. It's zero for Ina.
Here we do not take human considerations into account. We're just moving on.
Throw it in the pressure cooker. It'll be fine.
Let's go from the simple to the slightly more complicated.
I've never made one before, but I've always wanted to.
I follow someone on Facebook who keeps pulling
and throwing watermelons and stuff.
Will this work?
No! I'm just building a new structure.
Not bad.
Right.
Fuck!
Isn't that a catapult?
I'll just go with that. This is good. It's good.
This is from Roman times.
Cata pult.
'Cata' means cutting a string.
And then 'pult'.
Two, one... - Okay!
Fire in the hole!
No! That thing flew like a motherfucker.
I won't be able to retrieve the duck. It was designed to fly.
Fire in the hole!
That's it! Yes!
I believe in this one. Fire in the hole!
No!
Now I'm going for a spreader.
Fire in the hole!
Yes!
Right.
I'll give you that, Ole Henry. You're all in.
I used a shotgun approach and hit it. - You also went for a little hump?
You pig. - I got so excited.
It's a family show.
Although the constructions are great, there's no guarantee it'll be enough
for a good score. Olli, you know more about that.
I timed Ole Henry. - Oh, good.
There was a lot of trial and error. You took 8 minutes and 3 seconds.
Henrik took 1 minute and 7 seconds. THose are the positions for now.
Do we have a little trickster left? - Sure.
Don't we have a dark horse left? Thomas Numme. None other.
Could go either way.
Do you want some catapult magic? - I do want magic.
I'm thinking I've got to come up with something spectacular.
Three, two, one...
Thanks for having me.
I'm a proper guy. I turn off before I leave.
It's so rare to see you almost gloating.
No, I don't gloat. But I'm curious to see if it's okay.
Did they stop using leaf-blowers in the late middle ages?
Because as Olli pointed out...
If skis don't count, does leaf-blowing count?
Well, it was spectacularly simple and effective.
It was quick. It took you 7 seconds to get the shuttlecock in.
Whether to approve it or not, is a bit tricky.
It wasn't entirely obvious.
I think we'll leave it up to the one who's already disqualified. Ina.
I think you can decide whether you think Thomas should pass or not.
Then you just have to think fair. - It's between 5 points and a disqualification.
I don't want to make that decision.
How am I supposed to make that decision?
I have to make decisions like that all the time.
You've done it for a hundred years. I have to do it now, once.
What do you say if I count down from three, two, one...
Five. - 5 points.
Then it's zero points for Ina.
Ole Henry, 8 minutes and 3 seconds.
Henrik, 1 minute and 7 seconds. Pernille, 25 seconds.
Then there's Thomas: 7 seconds; 5 points.
Those are the scores. Let's see what the total scores are.
Look at that. - Oh, yeah.
Time for a little commercial break. See you soon.
Now, I'd like to see an insanely erased eraser.
So erased, I can hardly see it.
You have a golden opportunity now. - I know.
Hello. - Good day.
Eraser?
"Erase as much of this eraser as possible in 60 seconds."
"You have 15 minutes to prepare. Most erased eraser wins."
"Your 15 minutes starts now."
It's lucky I have 15 minutes to prepare!
So much time.
Oh, my goodness, so much time.
15 golden minutes to prepare to erase a eraser.
The contestants have been allocated their own erasers
to be erased in 60 seconds.
The less you have after that, the closer you are to 5 points.
I wonder if we should watch Pernille and Ole Henry erase until they cramp up.
Yes, sir.
It doesn't say anything about how to erase, does it?
I'll find a grater.
I'll wrap it around like this. This was a wise idea.
Things move quickly in here.
No!
No, no, no.
I brought two things just in case. This one looked a little Barbie rasp.
I'm not sure it'll work like it usually does.
I say, "Ready, set, go," and on "go," I start.
Ready, set, go.
That was so... That was my nail.
How much time have I got left?
You've gone 40 seconds. - Whoa.
No!
Don't do your own nail.
That's it, time's up.
No!
Bad patent.
You didn't do bad though.
Ole Henry, you say it's a bad patent. You didn't have a plan B.
It was right onto the very smooth, friction-free surface.
Pernille, you basically grated the eraser.
Let's be clear, I had coloured the grater with a pencil.
So I erased things... - I can confirm that.
So don't say I wasn't erasing.
I didn't grate, I erased.
You were just really lucky with the surface.
Exactly. - Of course, it's approved.
We didn't specify the surface.
There are more erasers. Shall we see three more?
Yes, please. - Henrik, Ina, and Thomas.
How can you erase a eraser? I'll get another one,
then I can try to erase the eraser.
I'm going to erase this down until there is just a fraction left.
This doesn't have to be done in here.
I bet some idiot starts doing this.
I'll just try to get as much off it as I can then.
You've started? - Yeah, I mean...
60 seconds, right. Shit!
I've started. Fuck!
You had 15 minutes. - That's exactly it. Darn it!
Stop.
"In 60 seconds." I didn't register that.
I'm no good at this.
Erase...
It can't go wrong. This has been solved badly by several people.
Ready, set, go.
I hate erasers. - Your time is up.
I'm going to warm up until there's four seconds left.
Come on! Ready...
...set, go.
Yeah, it's alright.
I can see quite a bit disappearing. It's not great, though.
But it's not supposed to be easy either. Come on.
Come on now!
There you go!
I think it's as well-executed as possible.
I'm happy with that. Okay, next task.
Right.
Yeah. What an athlete!
What a performance. How do you feel now, Henrik Fladseth?
This did not make me look very good. I've come out looking very cocky.
I thought you wouldn't see the eraser. There was some left.
Something tells me this might be the closest you've come to sports.
Thomas went for the technique from school.
It took a year, and there was still a lot left.
There's some information that just slips away sometimes.
The 15 minutes you had, you didn't use them well.
I didn't have to. - You read "Erase" and went "Right".
It's the moment of truth. - Yes. We'll start from the bottom.
With Ina. Not very well erased. Thomas: Quite well erased.
Ole Henry: Well erased. - Wow!
Henrik: Very well erased. Pernille: Exceptionally well erased.
Very fun, very good.
Do you know what I think you want? - What you think? Peace and quiet.
I was actually thinking the complete opposite.
A lot of sounds? - Yes.
Is that what you want? - Yes.
Don't tell me I have to rap or something.
"Make your best sound effect." Gosh, what a wonderful task.
"The sound must be recorded on this machine."
There are so many to choose from.
That Goofy...
My son loves that.
I'm not good at these things. A tennis match?
That was boring.
Tennis it is. - Cat being squeezed.
A drop in water.
Man falling.
Pouring water and a drop.
Nice task.
I just don't get it.
Am I done now?
I recognise that.
Alright.
"Make an engaging 30-second video..."
I can't bear it.
"All sound effects must be used for your attempt to be approved."
"You have half an hour to prepare, and one attempt at making the video."
"The best use of sound effects wins. Your time starts now."
Let's listen to the sound effects.
What? A tennis ball?
What on earth is that?
I think that's quite fun.
I'm imagining a cave.
Witch.
Well, that's a lot of sounds.
Everyone made a sound effect, which was put into the machine.
Then everyone was told to make an engaging video
of a maximum of 30 seconds, where all the sounds had to be used.
And the best use of the sound effects wins.
It'll be interesting to see what you've created. Let's start with Ina.
I should've had someone press it. - Okay.
Then I'm ready.
Right.
It was a pretty straightforward use, but very effective, simple and nice.
Are you ready for the next one? - Yes. Pernille.
There's nothing more engaging than really good radio theatre.
Once upon a time, there was an orphan dog asleep in a cave.
After days of searching for shelter,
because of all the trauma, he immediately crawled into a cave.
What he didn't know was that this was a stalactite cave.
It was fairly new, so it had only been able to produce one stalactite,
but it was long, and was hanging directly above the dog's head.
Just as the dog fell asleep, a drop came loose...
Your time was up.
I've written a radio play that's so good...
You had 30 seconds.
It's just a shame that I didn't get to use one sound effect.
The sounds will come in season two. - Yeah.
You'll be lucky not to earn last place with that one.
Are you absolutely sure about that?
We're not absolutely sure. Because now it's Thomas.
Okay, Olli. It's one shot. I'll try to nod you in.
At least you've gone for realism. - It felt a lot better than it looked.
Quite irrational behaviour, but at least it was somewhat accomplished.
I'm a big fan of realism. I'm less fond of the abstract.
Let's move on to Henrik. - No. You're not fond of it?
Art is supposed to engage.
Fuck off, bird fucker.
Come on, push, Santa. A bit more. It's a girl.
Are you engaged, Atle?
Well, well, well.
It was creative, and also a way to bypass the brief a little bit.
But you've delivered.
And lots of sounds. - A lot of sounds.
We'll have a little commercial break. We'll be right back.
One person left, but with two names. - I guess it's Ole Henry.
What engages with this... I like watching YouTube videos.
People going into abandoned houses.
It's like a horror movie. Things happen and stuff.
I'm going to act that out now.
I'm now going into an abandoned magic house
where anything can happen.
No, what's happening?
Is it haunted? What's happening, Olli?
I'm leaving you. I'm leaving the chair.
Olli. Things are following me.
Press it, Olli.
Thank you.
Another creative solution. - You've been making comments.
Do you also have an idea on how to rate this?
I have a clear idea.
It's easy when Pernille makes sure she's in last place.
I don't know how I missed the fact that it said '30 seconds'.
When you send yourself to last place, you make it easy.
Then you take your buddy with you. You almost have to get 2 points.
We're done with you two.
Some people will get paid quite well because we've eliminated two already.
I'm wondering if you're gonna get 3 points, Ole Henry.
It's a toss-up between Ina and Henry.
I'm going to go for Ina's classic. 5 points. 4 points to Henrik.
Delighted with that. - Well, the scores are in.
Overall, we can see... - Where we're at.
Whoa. Wide open, I'd say.
Time flies when you're having fun. Olli, what do we have now?
The final task of the episode. - Get on the stage.
Welcome to the final task, broomstick or mime?
That's the question we're going to answer in this task.
Whoever's behind here... They've hidden, Atle.
They're going to walk towards you either with a broomstick, or without.
So a mime.
At the back there, there's a selection of different broomsticks.
Whoever is in last place will go first. Then we'll go up.
If you get it right, they're out.
If you get it wrong, they make it through to the next round.
There are different types of broomsticks.
Once one has been used, it can't be used again.
We'll start with the one at the bottom, Ina.
You'll have the advantage of going first. You may step forward.
And we say: wall down.
When you're ready, let me know. - I'll let you know.
Are you good at guessing? - Yes.
How many fingers am I holding up? - Three.
Four.
I'm ready. Hello!
Are you ready? - Yes, I'm ready.
Wall up, and go ahead.
I think you've got a broomstick.
Correct.
Right. Ole Henry.
I'm ready.
You're ready? - Yeah.
Wall up. Go ahead, Ole Henry.
I think you've got one.
That's correct, Atle.
It could be a bluff, but I don't think you do bluffs.
Henrik, you're ready? Wall up. Go ahead.
There's nothing in the rule book that says that's not allowed.
I don't think you have a broom.
Yes!
Henrik. You're through. You can go to the back.
Then it's Pernille's turn.
Let's raise the wall. Go ahead.
Hello.
It's hard to tell if it's fake or not.
I think you have a broom.
I don't! - No! Well, I never.
You're through, Pernille. You can go to the back.
Wall down. Thomas Numme, you're next.
In this task, it has to be you. You can't use your partner Harald.
Are you ready, Thomas? Wall up. Your turn.
Is it a bluff or not? This is hard to say.
I think you...
have a broom.
I don't have a broom! - No.
Well, well, well. - What happened to the two of us?
We overdid it...
Then it's round two.
Pernille. - I'm ready.
Wall up. Pernille, go ahead.
Sassy tactic.
I think you have a broom.
I don't! - No.
Good.
Henrik. - Yes.
Yes, Henrik is ready. Wall up. Go ahead.
You've got a broomstick.
There are shadows and... - Well, that was...
Actually, I was going to crawl, and then I just had to...
It was sticking up from the back of your neck. It was pretty obvious.
Your turn, Thomas.
I'm ready. - Wall up. Go ahead.
You don't have a broom.
I do have a broom!
Another round it is, then.
Pernille, you go first.
Wait.
I'm ready. - Okay.
You don't have a broom.
Fuck.
I thought I played so well.
Thomas? - Yes.
If you can do it, you win.
If you can't do it, you share first place with Pernille.
Then he could go to fourth place. - Holy crap.
Okay. - Wall up. Go ahead.
You don't have a broom.
I really don't.
Very good.
We have an idea of the points, but let's sum up at our seats. Good job.
Right.
Who's the winner here? - Shall we start from the bottom?
Just so it's as neat as possible.
You're sitting with your fingers up. It's you with Ole Henry.
2 points. Almost a round of applause.
Henrik: 3 points.
Joint first place: Pernille and Thomas; 5 points.
Yes!
The scores go up on the board.
We all know what it's about. Who will win today's show?
It is...
It's Thomas Numme who wins today's show!
Fantastic. Congratulations.
You're going home with items from five closed chapters.
That's it for today.
Remember, all that glitters is not gold.
All that throws is not a catapult.
We'll be back next time.
If you liked this show, you're going to love the next one. See you!
Original English subtitles: Tommy Lund (LinQ Media Group)
Proofreading and adjustments: u/taskmastermaster