(Bell Media theme playing)
(cheering)
- Good evening and welcome to Taskmaster!
My name is Louis Morissette, and I am the Taskmaster.
The concept of this show...
how can I explain it?...
♪♪♪
Over the last few weeks, I've created a series of tasks
to be completed by five beloved comedians.
Together, we'll see what they did,
and how they did it. As the Taskmaster,
I'll dole out points to the most deserving contestant,
as determined by subjective and ambiguous criteria.
The overall winner of this season
will take home the greatest prize in the history of television,
a golden replica of my head!
(cheering) ["I'm a failure"]
And here are our whipping-boys
for the first season of Taskmaster.
Ève Côté. - Good evening, Taskmaster.
- Mehdi Bousaidan. (cheering)
Christine Morency. (cheering)
Jo Cormier. (cheering)
(whooping)
And Matthieu Pepper! (cheering)
And because I could never manage the egos
of these five comedians on my own,
I've hired an assistant.
- Well done. - Antoine Vézina!
(cheering) - Thank you.
- What's the prize task for today, Antoine?
- This time,
we were looking for the most important document
in your possession. (surprise)
Shall we? - Let's go!
- Ève! - Yes!
So, this is a book ["The Power of Happiness," by Frédéric Lenoir],
that really changed a lot of things in my life.
It helped me understand a bunch of things.
I know that you're not playing, Taskmaster. But if the winner
could give it to Louis,
maybe it could bring some "pep" into his life, you know?
It's fun to be happy! Try it!
(cheering)
- Happiness is overrated.
It is overrated, completely!
- Ah, that's too bad... Let's go to Jo!
- Yes. Well, this, for those who don't understand,
is a very important document.
I was at "La Belle Province" [fast-food chain in Quebec] on March 11, 2020,
and I saw François Legault [Premier of Quebec since 2018] get up and leave,
and leave his placemat behind.
I said: "Ah, that's his communications strategy." [for handling the COVID pandemic]
(laughter)[Language on placemat is unsophisticated] ["Managing tuff moment -It's gonna be okay [Quebec's COVID slogan] -White wine = stress reducer -Send 'em home -Small party only -Gotta take it easy"]
(laughter)
- Mehdi. - Yes, well for me,
the most important document is, obviously, my passport.
(laughter) - Oh...
- It's hard, at the moment, to travel without a passport.
But I guarantee you that, with this,
it's just as hard to travel with one's passport.
(laughter)
(applause)
- Thanks for putting that into the kitty.
(laughter)
Matthieu.
- Yes, absolutely.
It's my mom's Caesar salad recipe.
- (Louis): But it's a family secret? ["Mom's Caesar salad recipe 1-Salad? 2-Croutons 3-? 5-Salt? 6-? sauce 7-Half cup cheese 8-Lots of love"]
- It's a secret family recipe ["Mom's Caesar salad recipe 1-Salad? 2-Croutons 3-? 5-Salt? 6-? sauce 7-Half cup cheese 8-Lots of love"]
that I can't reveal. But honestly... ["Mom's Caesar salad recipe 1-Salad? 2-Croutons 3-? 5-Salt? 6-? sauce 7-Half cup cheese 8-Lots of love"]
Oooh, it's really good!
- Thank you, thank you.
There's just Christine left. - Christine's turn!
- Yes!
So, here you go! - Wow!
- It's... - This is the most important document in your possession?
- Yes, it's the show bible for my show ["Grace"].
- You don't know it well yet, is that why it's important?
- No, actually, I brought it because I told myself:
Eventually, soon, Pepper will win.
And when that happens, he'll be able to have a show for which
people actually buy tickets.
- Finally, at last!
(applause)
- Isn't that generous?
- Such generosity on your part! - You're welcome, Pepper!
- Listen, I'm giving five points to Christine.
- Ah! Well, now, fanstastic, Pepper!
- Well done. - Absolutely!
- I'll be producing Matthieu Pepper's show.
So I'll want it to sell some tickets.
Four points to Jo. (Jo cheers)
That's an important document for Quebec.
- (Antoine): Essential.
- Three points to Mehdi, poor guy.
- The passport, yes!
- I no longer have a passport.
- We're left with two points to Matthieu and one point--
- So, happiness doesn't interest you one bit?
- Oh, happiness, happiness...
- Oh no, no... - He doesn't want anything to do with it!
- Are we ready for the first task?
- Certainly! A task that is silent,
but strong! ["Fort" means both "loud" and "strong"]
- Wow!
♪♪♪
(surprised laughter)
- (whispering): Hello.
- Bartender!
- Hello. - Good evening.
- What's going on?
Is someone sleeping or...
(laughter)
- Hey!
(laughter)
Oh? Oh, it's not a microphone!
- No.
- It's to measure decibels?
- Yes. - OK, careful.
- (whispering): "Silently,
"make the most beautiful
and most delicious cocktail."
- "You must also give your cocktail an original name."
- (whispering): "If you make a sound over 60 decibels..."
(She sings) - Oh...
(She hums) That's the maximum, OK.
- "If you make a sound over 60 decibels,
you have to pour out your concoction..."
"And scream, 'I'm useless!'"
- "You have to pour out your concoction and scream, 'I'm so sorry!'"
- "Pour out your concoction and scream, 'I'm a failure!'"
- "And scream, 'Woof!'" - "And scream, 'I love this!'"
- "at a volume higher than 100 decibels
"before starting again.
"You have 20 minutes.
Your time starts now."
(applause)
(Christine laughing wildly)
- I think they're even more annoying while whispering.
- Yes! - It's amazing!
- So, they had 20 minutes
to create a special cocktail.
Of course, they could not go over 60 decibels
with the sounds they produced.
- That's not very loud, right?
- It is quite soft. Let's have a look.
- You know, Christine, you blast past that threshold just by saying, "hello."
- That's right, it was really hard.
- Just breathing, sometimes, will do it.
(laughter)
When they go over 60, they have to scream
a predetermined phrase above 100 decibels.
Obviously, technique, the look of the drink, the name,
but also the taste; we're taking all of this into consideration.
- As far as taste goes; is it you who...
- Absolutely, I was the one there.
I tried, and I survived...
all of the cocktails!
Well, look, we're going to start
with two people who are well acquainted with alcohol,
but not so much with silence:
Ève and Mehdi.
(laughter)
- I feel like I'm on "Les chefs!" [Culinary competition show in Quebec]
- You went over, just then.
- (screaming): Woof!
OK.
(soft music playing)
(cork pops) (laughter)
- (whispering): I think you went over...
I'm not sure.
- (screaming): I'm so sorry!
- (whispering): You went over.
- (screaming): Woof!
- (whispering): You went over.
- (screaming): Woof!
- (screaming): I'm so sorry!
(metal scraping against the bucket)
Oh no...
(laughter)
- Hey, "Sling-sling" 75 [dBs].
(laughter)
- I don't wanna waste it all. (screaming): I'm so sorry!
♪♪♪
- (screaming): Woof!
- You have to pour all of that out, now.
(laughter)
(delicately places the bottle on the island.)
(laughter )
- Seriously?...
(screaming): I'm so sorry!
I'm so sorry!
- Over. - Woof! Woof, woof!
- (screaming): I'm so sorry!
- (screaming): Woof, woof, woof!
(screaming): Woof!
(sigh)
(laughter)
- "L'ostidedreenk." ["TheGodDamnedDrink."]
- "L'ostidedreenk!" ["TheGodDamnedDrink"]
(applause)
- (whispering): You went over!
72!
Do you have something to tell us?
- (screaming): I'm so sorry!
(laughter and applause) [Mehdi's drink: "Gin suis désolé," which sounds like "Je suis désolé"/"I'm so sorry"]
- Oh, that's strong.
Oh, that's good. It's simple!
(applause)
- That was tough! - Good job.
It's not easy! - No, it's not easy.
- But in the end, it tasted...
Mehdi, that was a glass of gin, there?
- Er... Mehdi's drink, was gin.
It tasted... like gin.
- OK. - Good.
In the end, Ève's, was a glass of sparkling wine...
with an orange?
- It was peach juice. - OK, sorry!
- There was a little bit of peach juice in it.
So, it tasted like good quality sparkling wine with...
a little bit of peach juice in it.
(laughter) It wasn't bad!
But I wasn't transported...
For a 20-minute wait, you know?
No. But it was good, though!
- Yes, of course! - After the break,
we'll see the three remaining cocktails from Christine,
Jo, and Matthieu.
- You'll see that it's delicious!
- (screaming): I'm a failuuuure!
"I'm a failuuuure!"
It's starting to affect me.
♪♪♪
(applause)
(whooping)
- Welcome back to Taskmaster.
So, Antoine, before the break... - Yes!
- ...we saw Ève and Mehdi... - Exactly!
- ...preparing a cocktail without talking.
- Silently, yes!
- And without success! - There you go!
- Can our three other friends do better?
- You'll be the judge.
Taskmaster, let's see Christine and Jo, for the moment!
(soft music playing)
(knife cutting)
(You have to scream, "I love this!")
- (screaming): I love this!
(continue)
(little tap on the glass)
- (screaming): I'm useless!
- (whispering): You don't have to say it for a long time, just loudly.
- (whispering): I'm saying it,
as I understand it.
- Yes, we hear it, too. ["Entendre" means both "to understand" and "to hear"]
(laughter)
(she places the bottle on the island.)
(whispering) Too loud
- Oh no, but...(screaming): I love this!
♪♪♪
OK, but come on!
(screaming): I love this!
(laughter)
(whispering) Your knife sucks.
- I can't hear you. - Your knife, it sucks!
(laughter) (whispering) I'm making a little flower.
(screaming): I'm useless!
(laughter)
♪♪♪
(laughter)
[Jo's Drink: "Flower Island." "L'Île des Fleurs" rhymes with a neighbourhood in Montreal called, "L'Île des Soeurs"/"Nun's Island"] (applause)
- (whispering): It's better in a condo tour.
You're drinking this... Beautiful marble counters,
with a nice view.
Helps you forget that they've served you piss.
(laughter)
- (whispering): "Citronquille icitte!" ["It's quiet here."] ["Citron" = "lemon", "c'est tranquille" = "it's quiet"]
This is how you drink it.
Cheers, everyone!
(applause)
- Good job, friends. - Thank you.
- Seriously, that's great work.
Was it tasty? - Um... listen,
one of them tasted like urine.
- That's from when I dropped the ice in with my fingers.
(Christine's disgust) (laughter)
- Yuck!
- But it wasn't bad!
But it wasn't bad...
Christine, it was good
and I appreciated the very lemony presentation.
- Why haven't we seen Matthieu yet?
- Well... as seen throughout Taskmaster's short history,
it's rarely a good thing when you show me last, eh?
- You're last often!
- I'm often last. - You're always last!
- (whispering): Stay far away!
- (whispering): That went over.
- No it didn't! - Yes.
- For real?
Now, I have to scream at 100 decibels?
- Yes, yes, 100. It's not too bad.
- OK. - Go on, now.
- (screaming): I'm a failure!
(whispering): Honestly, I don't think
my psychologist would recommend that.
Just to be 100% clear, here.
- You're speaking too loudly. - Oh, OK...
♪♪♪
(laughter)
(screaming): I'm a failuuuuuuure!
- 112, you're good.
- Ok, but, hell, at some point...
Shit!
(screaming): I'm a failure!
(laughter)
(He opens the bottle.)
- Over.
- This is starting to affect me.
(laughter)
- Make less noise, then! - I'm trying.
- I don't know what to tell you.
- (screaming): I'm a failure!
- Dump it out. - Why?
- When you go over 60... - Oh, each time?
- Oh, it's not just all about screaming. - OK.
(laughter)
♪♪♪
(laughter)
- (whispering): One minute left.
(laughter)
You're good.
(screaming)
80.
- You've gotta be kidding me...
- Well, go on, stop messing around.
- But can I just write and--
- Well no, you have to dump it. "I'm a failure."
- (screaming): I'm a failure!
- Louder. - I'm a failure!
Yes, yes, Christ... - Five seconds.
Stop! Too loud.
You have to dump it. - Yes, but I...
- You have to dump it out, and I'll taste it later.
(Matthieu laughs)
- (screaming): I'm a failure!
- Not loud enough.
- (crying): I'm a failure.
- Yes. - (whispering) I don't have any liquids left. - (whispering) I don't know what to tell you.
- "Inner Emptiness."
- Cheers!
(laughter and applause)
(Christine sighs)
- I just want to make one thing clear.
The phrases the comedians had to say
were assigned weeks ago
completely at random.
- What?
- But it pretty well summarizes your season.
(laughter)
(applause)
So, wait, he didn't make a cocktail?
- No, it was just "emptiness."
So, I projected a flavour onto it. It wasn't terrible!
But now, you have to give out some points, Taskmaster.
- I'm going to give five points to the drink
that I found to be the most original.
And it's Christine's with her lemon. (joyful cry)
And for four points,
I'd say go with the best tasting one.
- OK... So we had: nothing, urine...
- "Nothing" is probably better, right?
- Gin...
- Peach -- that's exotic!
- And the sparkling wine. I'll tell you,
I'm partial to strong alcohol.
Mehdi's gin! - Mehdi's gin!
- I wish I had known that! - I wish I had known.
- Three points for Jo,
two points for Ève
and a pity point for Matthieu.
(laughter and applause)
- Well... Let's look at the scores.
Matthieu and Ève are last.
- That's so unlike me, isn't it?
- And for the moment, Christine is in the lead.
- (screaming): I love this!
- We're ready for the next task, Antoine.
- Oh! A task that is both physical and zen at once,
just like the Taskmaster himself.
- Stop it! (Antoine laughs)
♪♪♪
- Hello. - Hello!
- Take a seat, please.
- Oh, thanks!
- "Place these three exercise balls
on the yoga mat on top of the hill."
(laughter)
- "The task is complete when all three balls sit fully inflated
and stationary on the mat."
- What do you mean, "inflated"?
- Inflated! - But they're inflated now, yeah?
- (Antoine): Well, there you go, so...
if you were thinking of deflating them,
you'd have to re-inflate them.
- But seriously, though, that slope
is pretty damned steep.
- It's all psychological!
The mat. - Yes, they have to be resting on it?
- Exactly.
You can't hold them down with your hands.
- So they have to be placed there...
- "Fastest wins. Your time starts now."
- On you go. - OK.
- There you are! - OK.
- So, three exercise balls.
You need to bring them up the hill.
There's a little mat up there.
You have to drop them there.
They have to remain stationary without touching them.
- With your hands! - Exactly.
We're starting with Christine and Ève.
♪♪♪
(laughter)
- Here's where it gets rough!
It's clear that my rings aren't helping me much, here.
(laughter and applause)
Oh boy, oh boy!
Come on, little chicks!
No, no, no! You're not going to escape me
in the middle of our trek, my gang!
♪♪♪
(effortful cry) Move the balls, push up the rings.
That's what you do, when you want to be flirtatious!
(effortful cry)
Stationary on the mat.
- You have to let them go
and they have to remain stationary.
♪♪♪
No hands!
(laughter)
- I have to let go of them...
- Stop!
(laughter)
(applause)
- Great job! - There you go, done!
(laughter)
- No, but!
- No hands, but breasts; that counts!
- There you go, that works! - It didn't say I couldn't.
- That's perfect! A lovely mix of Titanic and...
and Minnie Mouse.
(laughter and applause)
Hey, great job, girls! Seriously, well done!
- Task complete!
- That seemed quick.
- Yes, Christine completed the task in 2 min 12 s.
- Holy cow! - Ève: 1 min 38 s!
- Oh! - After the break,
we'll see how the three boys did.
It's like the boys vs. the girls!
That's some great 90's humour.
(applause)
♪♪♪
(laughter)
(Christine laughing wildly)
♪♪♪
(applause)
(Jo laughing)
Welcome back to Taskmaster,
the show in which the five best comedians in Québec
have to complete my tasks.
Oh yes, oh yes! - Oh yes, that's us.
- Remind us of the task, Antoine.
- So, before the break,
we saw Ève and Christine's efforts
hauling three exercise balls
up a hill. And there, they had to place them
on a small yoga mat.
They had to remain stationary without being held down by their hands.
It's now time to see the boys: Mehdi, Jo, and Matthieu!
- "... on the mat. Fastest wins.
Your time starts now!"
- On you go.
- Let's go!
(imitating a car engine)
♪♪♪
(laughter)
- Can I bring this...
(laughter)
♪♪♪
(laughter)
(Christine laughs wildly)
♪♪♪
(laughter and applause)
(Christine laughs wildly)
- This isn't working!
- (Antoine): What are you doing?
- I'm keeping it from rolling with my iPhone.
- Ah, good idea.
(sigh of exhaustion)
(laughter)
(whooping)
- I'm getting some small rocks.
♪♪♪
They can't be on top of each other, right?
- (Antoine): What did the task say?
- Read it to me again!
- "... they must be inflated and stationary."
Oh!
- "On top of..."
(laughter)
- Hold on, I have to go sort something out.
(laughter)
♪♪♪
(sigh of exhaustion)
(laughter)
- (Antoine): No hands!
(discouraged laughter)
(sigh of exhaustion)
Are all three of them on the mat?
Thank you!
OK.
Good job!
(panting)
- Was that fun?
- Yes!
- Was it?
- I sent you a text.
(laughter)
(applause)
- I'm coming!
- Can we see your crazy carpet ride again?
- (Christine): Yes!
- Come on, kids!
(applause)
- (Ève): Ouch!
(laughter) (Christine laughs wildly)
- I thought you could do anything with a yoga mat.
- There are limits!
However, it seems there wasn't a limit on time.
Mehdi completed the task in 3 min 6 s.
- Oh, OK.
- Jo in 3 min 35 s.
Matthieu in 4 min 48 s.
- Oh, that's not so bad.
- So it's Ève who takes it--
- Mine were more stable than the others', weren't they?
- (Christine): Every time he speaks...
- I'm getting some feedback.
(recording of Matthieu screaming): I'm a failure!
(laughter)
(Christine laughs wildly)
(laughter)
- Indeed!
- Poor Matthieu!
- Five points for Ève, four for Christine,
three for Mehdi, two for Jo
and one for Matthieu!
- There we go.
(applause)
- OK. Next task.
- Pity point: Matthieu is always last.
And Christine is in the lead!
(whooping) (applause)
Bravo, Christine. - Thank you!
- Another one, Taskmaster.
- (Louis): OK.
I'm listening.
- The next task is a group task...
a musical group task.
- Oh, god!
♪♪♪
(choo-choo train noises)
(laughing): Oh-oh-oh!
Ooh!
- Buongiorno! - Hello!
- Oh my! There is already someone in here.
- Oh, my god, that scared me.
- Same! Hi. - Hi.
- You're going to paint her? - Yes.
(He sings.)
- "Write and perform a song
about this stranger."
(laughter) - "Best song wins."
- Oh, no! - "You have 5 minutes to talk to the stranger."
- "And 30 minutes to write your song.
Your time starts now."
Write!
- So, hello, who are you? - Stephanie.
- What do you do for a living? - I'm a sales and marketing manager.
- Here? - Yes.
- Do you love to ski? - Yes, skiing, snowboarding...
Which do you like better? - Um... Skiing.
- Where are you from? - Rawdon. [town ~60km north of Montreal]
- Rawdon? - Rawdon? - Yes!
- Have you travelled? - Yes? - Where to?
- Most recently? - Yes. - Florida!
- Married? - No.
- Single? - No.
- Oh, in a relationship! - Yes. - Open relationship?
- How long have you been in an open relationship?
- Um... 16 years. - 16 years together.
No wedding? [common-law unions are highly popular in Quebec]
- We're waiting. - YOU'RE waiting!
- Of course! - OK, that's it.
- What's your partner's name? - Fred.
- Fred, that's good! - Yes, it rolls off the tongue well. It's a short name. "Fred"!
- When you look at a fire...
how do you feel?
-It turns me on. -It turns you on!
Little fires as much as big ones? Or the bigger and more devastating, the more...
- La Saint-Jean! [Quebec's provincial holiday in which bonfires are common] - La Saint-Jean...
Oh! A good Saint-Jean song. - Two minutes left.
- I'd write a love song...
- A love song, OK!
Where did you two meet? On a ski slope?
- No, in Montreal. - Montreal.
- Do you know Louis Morissette? - Yes.
- What do you think of him?
- Well he's... a good person.
- Oh, OK! - She doesn't know him.
- Is there anything that really bothers you, that you hate?
- Oof, that's a tough one...
- Feet... the...
- Yes, I hate having my feet touched.
- You hate it when people-- - I hate it!
- Tell me if I'm wrong. When I look at you,
I feel... like there's something melancholic there,
tenderness, happiness.
- That's... yes, those are good descriptors.
- Is there an emotion you have difficulty controlling?
That you'd like to throw into a song?
- I have a lot of love to give!
- Fred is really lucky, boy!
- Of course. - OK, perfect!
That's really good! It's gonna be about love.
Love, the beach, skiing...
- I have one more question. - Last one, make it quick.
- If you had to dye your hair a different colour,
which one would you choose?
- Dark brown. - OK, thank you.
♪ - I would have loved to have been a dark brunette ♪
♪ - Like my little bunny Carlos ♪
♪ - I would have loved to have been a dark brunette ♪
♪ - Those who created skiing were those who created love ♪
(applause) - So, there you are,
they had to write a song
based on the information they learned about this stranger.
So now, they're going to write a song. - Yes.
- And we're going to hear them... - OK.
- ...after the break!
- Oh come on!
- Let's go, do it!
- Do it, Pepper, go for it!
(encouragement)
♪♪♪
(applause)
- We're back with more Taskmaster.
Antoine, can you remind us
why Matthieu looks so nervous?
- Certainly!
We've split our comedians into two groups.
They had to write and perform
a song for a stranger.
We saw them ask their questions.
Now we'll see what they came up with.
And we're starting with the trio: Mehdi, Christine, and Jo.
Good evening,
everyoooooone!
How are you feeliiiiing?
(screaming) Excellent!
What an evening!
Let's keep it going with an exceptional group.
It's my pleasure to present to you
The Saint-Bruno Mars Band! [filming takes place in Mont-Saint-Bruno, QC]
Bravo, bravo! Have a good show, gang!
- So, here's a song we wrote for Stephanie
on behalf of all the employees of Mont-Saint-Bruno. [mountain in the Montégerie region known for skiing]
(guitar music playing)
♪ Stephanie's hot enough to melt the glaciers ♪
♪ Her blond hair raises the temperature ♪
(laughter)
♪ When she puts her boots on in Montérégie ♪
♪ I feel a sudden urge to become one of her skis ♪
(laughter)
♪ She's to blame for climate change ♪
♪ But because she's so pretty ♪
♪ It's no tragedy ♪
♪ I drown in her eyes like the Titanic ♪
♪ And her bare skin rubbing... ♪
- No, no, no!
No, no, that's not it. No, no!
It's becoming too sexual, now.
All of our employees adore Stephanie.
So we've got to make this a team effort, a "we" effort,
and abandon personal fantasy.
- No, that's not what that was... - Yes, that's clearly what that was!
- It sounded really pervy. - No, it's not--
- It was totally pervy. "I want to be her ski."
You know? At a certain point, it's enough.
- Can we continue? - Let's do the chorus, thank you.
- In the stillness.
(screaming): Three, four!
- Three, two...
(guitar melody)
♪ - Stephanie, why did you leave for Florida? ♪
♪ Since you left ♪
♪ The mountain is emptying ♪
♪ Stephanie, since you left for Florida ♪
♪ All of the skiers are headed to the Laurentians ♪ [another mountainous region of Quebec]
(laughter)
♪ Stephanie, since you left for Florida ♪
♪ Even the snow is crying and liquefying ♪
♪ Stephanie, please come back from Florida ♪
♪ - And we can spend a torrid night with each other ♪
- No! - Why not?
- Stop! - But I said, "we."
- (whispering): Stephanie.
- The Saint-Bruno Mars Band!
Thank you so much, thank you!
- The arrangement!
- (Louis): Well done, well done!
Bravo! - Yes, that was good.
- It reminded me of...
It's very "[Francis] Cabrel" [French singer-songwriter], eh? It sounded "Cabrel."
- Yes, there was a mix of Cabrel, of [Patrick] Bruel... [French singer-songwriter]
with a little persistent, annoying sexual tension.
(laughter)
This puts a lof of pressure on the second group.
- Oh, man! They were good! - Do you think so?
I'm pretty confident, based on what I just saw.
- Really? You're confident?
- Let's see Matthieu and Ève's performance.
Will you please,
with thundering applause,
welcome my friends,
The Mare and Her Pony!
(applause)
- Thank you! Thanks, Antoine. - My pleasure!
- Good evening, everyone. We're happy to be here.
Right, my pony? - Oh, man, it's been a while
since I've been this happy.
- We're going to take this opportunity to bring you our newest hit
that was written exclusively for an exceptional woman,
Stephanie Grenier. - I love you.
- That's what he said... - I'm sorry.
Three, four...
♪ Let me tell you ♪
♪ a story that'll make you bawl ♪
♪ A Rawdoner in the big city ♪
♪ A beguiled man in Montreal ♪
♪ For each other, they fell ♪
♪ Had three children as well ♪
♪ She was happy but deep down ♪
♪ She was longing for... ♪
♪ - a ring ♪
♪ - For 16 years ♪
♪ - she's been waiting ♪
♪ That's a damned long time to just be dating♪
♪ What are you afraid of, Frederic, honey ♪
♪ - That she'll leave with all your money? ♪
♪ It's none of my business but Jesus ♪
♪ - she's been waiting far too long ♪
♪ Today, I'm telling you, my friend ♪
♪ I've found you a new husband ♪
- (rapping): Stephanie, the wait is over.
I'm your man for all eternity.
No point remaining in a boring twosome.
How about an intriguing new co-mingling?
Absorbed, obsessed with my verve,
equipped for downhill skiing
from Saint-Bruno to Montambault
From water sports, to limbo
I'll hoist you to seventh heaven
Without quarrel. She is beautiful.
Without touching your feet, I'll take you on a voyage
No need for a passport
You have full access to my body
four months out of the year. That's better than the Pyrenees. [ski season in Quebec is usually 4 months]
Creator of skiing Creator of well-being
♪ - For 16 years she's been waiting ♪
♪ - That's too damned long to just be dating ♪
♪ What are you afraid of, Frederic, honey? ♪
♪ That she'll leave with all your money? ♪
♪ It's none of my business, but Jesus ♪
♪ You've been waiting far too long ♪
♪ - Tonight, I'm telling you, my friend ♪
♪ We have found ♪ ♪ - Your new husband ♪
(applause)
- Calm down... come on!
- Yes! Get up, get up!
(cheering)
- Bravo! They liked it.
- Oh, there's a lot going on there. - Taskmaster!
- Matthieu, I don't know how to tell you this, but...
I think you've killed slam poetry tonight.
- Really, eh? - Hey, that's great!
- Well, maybe that's a good thing.
- Even David Goudreault [Québécois slam poet] saw that and said: OK, it's over.
Nobody wants to hear this stuff anymore.
- Taskmaster, lots of emotions, but we have to give out points.
- Well... listen, I...
The audience is always right, yes?
- Always, always! (applause)
- At last! At last!
- Finally!
- OK, OK! OK, friends.
Hey, I'll remind you, this isn't a telethon.
(laughter)
- That's right, it's confusing.
- So I'll give five points to Ève and Matthieu.
- We deserve it!
- Thank you very much. Bravo!
- And three points To The Saint-Bruno Mars Band.
- (Antoine): Here we go.
- He abandoned us.
- I think it's time for a live performance?
- (Jo): Yes, do it!
(encouragement)
♪ - It's been 16 years, that she's waiting ♪
(encouragement)
- Here he goes!
- (rapping): Obsessed with storytelling
Distributed by castration
Crowned by the Taskmaster
Abandoned by the nobodies who can do so little
(cheering)
- OK. - Hey, that was improv!
Good job, my pony!
- We'll let you try to erase that image from your minds
and meet back up here after the break.
- "There."
(trumpet playing) - "Glass?"
(trumpet playing) - "Failure."
(trumpet playing) (hesitates)
♪♪♪
(applause)
- Welcome back to Taskmaster.
Antoine, can you remind us
who is leading the episode at this stage?
- At the moment, Christine is leading.
- Again!
- But... but it's very tight
and anyone can win with the last...
Did I say: "anyone"?
- Oh, my god...
- Almost anyone can still win.
Hey, so sorry, chin up, OK?
- There was no bonus point for the improvised slam?
- But for the other four, it's possible.
- Who is going to read the task?
- Matthieu. - For real?
- Well, you have to win something.
- (Christine): Slam him!
- "Take it in turns
"to say a 5-letter word whenever the music stops.
"You may not say a word that has previously been said.
"If you fail to say a word
"before the music starts again,
"you are eliminated
and the game continues with different length words."
- Oh, wow, that's good! - OK, I understand!
- What? - OK.
- So, Jocelyn will play some trumpet music.
While he's doing that, you can prepare your answers.
The music will stop, I'll point to you, you'll give me a 5-letter word,
the music will restart, I'll point to you, and so on and so forth!
When someone is eliminated, they will take a seat.
I'll let you know.
And then we'll change the number of letters in the word.
Until there's just one person remaining!
Jocelyn! (trumpet playing)
- "Table!" [Fr. T-A-B-L-E]
- When I point to you, after the music stops.
Table, perfect. - "Table!"
(trumpet playing)
- "Penis!" [Fr. P-É-N-I-S]
(trumpet playing)
- "Five." [Fr. C-I-N-Q] - Yes.
(trumpet playing)
- "Dog." [Fr. C-H-I-E-N]
(trumpet playing)
- "Love." [Fr. A-I-M-E-R]
(trumpet playing)
- "Tree." [Fr. A-R-B-R-E]
(trumpet playing)
- "Hello!" [Fr. S-A-L-U-T] (trumpet playing)
- "There!" [Fr. V-O-I-L-À] (trumpet playing)
- "Glass." [Fr. V-I-T-R-E] (trumpet playing)
- "Failure." [Fr. É-C-H-E-C]
(trumpet playing)
(hesitates) Um...
(laughter)
- Six letters! - OK!
- Jocelyn, go! (trumpet playing)
- "Sausage." [Fr. S-A-U-C-I-S-S-E] - Oh no!
Um... "hot." [Fr. C-H-A-U-D-E]
(trumpet playing) - "Maude." [Like the name]
- "Maude," get outta here! - "Maude" doesn't work.
- How are you spelling "Maude"?
- "M-A-A-U-D-E."
(laughter) - Shit!
- Four letters! - Four?
(trumpet playing) - "Love!"
(trumpet playing) - That's an English word! "Hole." [Fr. T-R-O-U]
(trumpet playing)
- "Idiots" with an "S". [Fr. C-O-N-S]
- Eliminated! (cry of joy)
(victorious cheer)
(applause)
♪♪♪
(applause)
- Friends, we had to go to the video replay.
- (Ève): OK.
- (imitating Christine): "Five".
- In reviewing... Yes, that's the issue.
It's that Christine,
for her first five letter word, said:
(Louis and Christine): "Five"!
- But with so much confidence that...
- ...I'd love for you to give Matthieu Pepper a crash course.
(laughter)
But you said it with such conviction
and I admired that to a certain extent.
- You had to be strong to back that answer up.
- Oh, come on! - I tend to agree.
- So, for the points! - Let's summarize.
So, obviously... the pity point goes to Matthieu.
And five points to the winner, Ève.
- Obviously, I won that one!
- Well, of course!
- OK, but hang on!
- Maybe she wouldn't have won.
- Next, Jo gets two points, Mehdi gets three points.
- Three points for Mehdi, noted.
- And Christine, I can't give you as many points as Ève,
but I'll give you three points for your efforts.
- Perfect, that's a lot!
- I've compiled everything, Taskmaster. - Yes.
- Matthieu, thank you so much for participating.
- You're welcome, Antoine.
- And our winner tonight...
is Christine!
- Thank you! I'll give you a facelift!
- (Antoine): After six episodes,
Ève is still in the lead, but Christine is at her heels.
Matthieu is starting to sink.
- See you next week
with the same five comedians.
Christine, go collect your book about happiness!
(joyful cry)
Subtitles: the-little-kicks for r/panelshow October 2022
♪♪♪