(Bell Media theme playing)
(applause)
- Good evening, everyone, welcome to Taskmaster!
My name is Louis Morissette and I am the Taskmaster.
But what is, "Taskmaster?" That's easy.
♪♪♪
Over the last few weeks, I've created a series of tasks
for five beloved comedians to complete.
Together, we'll see what they did
and how they did it. As the Taskmaster,
I'll give out top points to the most deserving contestant,
based on highly subjective and ambiguous criteria.
The overall winner of this season
will take home the greatest prize in the history of television:
a golden replica of my head!
(cheering)
Allow me to present to you the comedians
taking part in this first season!
They are, Ève Côté!
- Good evening! Good evening, dear friends!
- Matthieu Pepper!
- Good evening! Good evening, everyone! Good evening.
- Jo Cormier! - Good evening!
- Good evening, Jo, good evening.
- Christine Morency! - Good evening...
- And Mehdi Bousaidan!
- Of course, of course!
- So, you know how this works. I'll give you points
randomly and unfairly. - (together): Yes!
- To back me up on this, I have an assistant.
- Oh yes! - Because, unlike me,
everyone loves him. Antoine Vézina!
- Well done, Antoine! - That's nice of you to say!
- We do love you! - Thank you!
But Louis, we love you too. We love you. The problem...
the problem, is your girlfriend. [wife Véronique Cloutier; popular French-Canadian TV and radio personality]
- Ah OK, yes. - She's intolerable. - (Louis): Detestable.
No, for real: she's holding you back. She's too controlling.
I hate to see it. Get out of there.
We have to hold on to each other. OK?
(laughing)
As always, we're going to unveil the prizes! So, tonight,
the winner will go home with five prizes. They have been
brought in by the contestants themselves.
We asked them to bring in their most meaningful item.
- Oh, that's good, eh? - This is going to be emotional!
- Yes! - Let's start with Matthieu's item.
- Ah, right off the bat, eh? - (Christine): Eww...
- (Jo): Cufflinks?
- No, they're earrings
from my time as a douchebag in Saint-Eustache [Matthieu's hometown; city ~30km northwest of Montreal].
- Impossible. (laughing)
- They're my actual earrings.
- Impossible. - That's meaningful to you?
- Yes, because I'm really glad I got out of there.
- Hey, that really makes me want to win this.
- Well, even better! But that's not all!
There are more items to win. Ève?
- Yes! Hey, check this out!
A lovely certificate that I won in 2011. ["CÉGEPS en spectacle" is a performing arts competition in the francophone college system in QC]
Look at the impeccable penmanship
of the person who wrote my name in at the end
after I won my local division [college of Rimouski]
of "CÉGEPS On Show," where everything started for me. - (Matthieu): Oh, wow.
That's actually meaningful, to me.
Not some old, crusty earrings.
- I see you've been trying to break through the industry for ten years, now.
- Exactly. (laughing)
It's going pretty well!
Things are good! - Christine?
- Yes! I really tried hard on this one.
- What? - Because I do stand up!
(Jo laughs) A microphone.
Well, it's the microphone from my first set. - (Matthieu): No. no.
- Really, from Bordel [Montreal comedy club]?
- You borrowed it from down there! - No, I'm telling you!
It's a mic from [El] Zaz [Montreal bar and venue],
Where I did my very first standup show.
- Oof. Bullshit! - With the fee I received... No.
With the fee I received, I asked them if I could
buy the microphone. And they said, "yes".
- It was an open mic, you earned zero dollars.
- Not true, I got paid. I got $25.
- What! I've never been paid there.
- Well, you got screwed. (laughing)
- The mic was worth $25? - Well, it was used.
- Thank you for your contribution! - That is such
bullshit. I don't believe that story one bit.
- None of that is true. You got here.
You had no item so you just grabbed any old thing. - No!
Hey, I'm participating in this show!
- Mehdi! - Yes, this is it...
- Your contribution.
- It's the l'Olivier [Quebec comedy award] that I won after my first show.
(applause)
- (Antoine): Wow!
- "Visual Designer"?
- Well, I told myself: "If everyone else is lying,
I'll start doing the same." (laughing)
This is an Olivier I won for visual design.
- Of course! - You didn't win it!
- Yes I did!
- What did you design? - I made a mistake.
I have six of them. I brought the first one
I saw on the shelf.
- Well, he's cracking on top of everything! OK, perfect.
- I don't think you've ever won one, Antoine?
Because I made one for you myself
since you've never been to the gala.
- Hey, it's really nice!
- That's really sweet! (applause)
- Out of Ferrero Rocher wrappers!
- Have you not understood the concept of this show?
I'm the one who gives out points.
(laughing) - One to go.
It's Jo. We don't care. (Matthieu laughs)
(laughing and applause) [image of Louis's wife and her ex-boyfriend, Patrick Huard, a popular French-Canadian actor/comedian]
- That's fine.
That's fine. We have the same picture
above our fireplace at home.
(laughing)
- Can I explain? - No.
I'm going to give the points out right away. So...
Because I was very moved by Ève's story,
I'm giving her five points!
- Thank you, Louis!
- Lovely, lovely, lovely. - That was all true!
- Four points to Matthieu for your douchebag testimonial.
- It's a right of passage. It's important!
- Three points to Jo; I dont' know why.
- Everyone Wins! - Three points? Come on!
- Two to Mehdi because he didn't understand the concept.
- Good job. - I didn't believe a word of your microphone story!
It reeked of a 4-second brainstorm.
Just one point to Christine.
- Oh, come on. Ugh, that's so frustrating.
(applause)
- So, shall we move on to the first task now that we know
what we're playing for?
- Yes! It's a non-visual art challenge.
(upbeat music playing)
- Oh wow! Antoine!
- (Antoine): Yes!
- It's beautiful, eh? - It's super.
- Oh, crayons! I've never been good at visual arts.
- "Make the most beautiful portrai
of the person on the other side of the curtain."
That's pretty scary.
- "You cannot look at the person.
The person may only answer 'yes' and 'no'."
- "You'll get five bonus points
if you can find out the person's full name."
- "You have ten minutes.
Your time starts now." - Started.
- Hello, are you a boy or a girl?
Hello?
They're not speaking, or..? - "Yes" or "no",
it's "yes" or "no" only, Ève.
(Christine laughs)
- Good start, my friend! Good start, my friend!
- (Louis): That's good, Ève.
- But it didn't take me long to adjust, Louis!
- There were two rules.
You weren't able to respect them from the beginning.
- That rule wasn't so easy. I get it.
- I see that just explaing a task,
is complicated. Who are we starting with?
- Well, I've grouped Ève,
Christine, Matthieu, and Mehdi.
- Ève, OK.
- Hello from the other side.
Can you hear me? - Yes.
- Is the person under 50 years old? - Yes.
- Under 40? - Yes.
- In your twenties? - No.
- Thirties? - No.
- Under 20? - Yes.
- Do we know the person from children's television? - No.
- Do they act in films, too? - No.
- Is it someone famous? - No.
- Well, how the fuck are we supposed to do this?
(laughing)
What are you doing here?
- It's a real person? - Yes, they're right there.
- Oh, the person is there? - Of course!
- Oh, I thought it was... - No, that person there!
- That's the actual person? - Yes!
- Do you have brown eyebrows? - Yes.
- Shit, I made them red. Is it okay that I
stenciled your eyebrows in? (laughing)
- Are you wearing lipstick at the moment?
- No. - I'm going to give you lipstick anyway.
- Are you a man? - No.
- You're a woman? - Yes.
- A living woman? - Yes.
- Is your shirt pink? - No.
- Is it white? - No.
- Maroon, salmon? - No, no.
- Is your shirt purple? - Yes.
- (Antoine): Ah.
- I mean, come on, Antoine!
Like this. - Wow.
- Shoulder... Camisole straps? - Yes. No.
- No? - No.
- Yes or no? - No!
- No problem. No need to scream, either.
- If you saw my kindergarten notebooks...
it's the same calibre.
(laughs)
- And... - Well, it's shitty.
- Is it true that you've been doing caricatures
in the Old Port [of Montreal] for a while, now?
- Yes, I couldn't tell you
how many tourists I've disappointed.
- Yeah, eh? And you seem to have gotten worse.
- Yes! It started to...
I once closed down the entire Old Port, actually.
(applause)
- OK, OK... Mehdi...
It's hard to understand, eh?
- I thought it was the game where you have to guess who...
The whole time, I thought it was Marilyn Monroe
and even now, I'm still pretty sure it's her.
- The person is there. "The person is there?
She's alive?" Well of course; she's there!
- That's worse than me. - OK, and now, you...
You avoided...
- Yeah, I kept Jo separate.
Jo had a different approach, and it's very interesting.
(Christine): Oh!
- Are you a human? - Yes.
- Is that a feminine voice? - Yes.
- Are you doing okay in that little cabin?
- Yes. - Ah!
- Aquiline nose?
- No.
- Big nose?
- Um...
No.
(laughs)
- This is awkward.
Bald? - No.
- Perfect! Morning person?
- Yes. - Yes!
Hands... big hands, five fingers? - Yes!
- Five fingers? Well, we're dealing with a healthy woman.
(laughs) Standing up?
- Yes. - Standing up.
Have you ever fractured your nose?
- No.
- So, it's straight. Perfect!
- Thick neck? - No.
- Non, thin neck. Do you have long arms?
- No.
- No. Drop them at your sides.
Do they reach your waist or your bum? Your bum?
- Um, no. - That's so short!
- Do you like dogs? - Yes.
- Do you have one? - Yes.
- Golden Retriever? - No.
- Poodle? - No.
- German Shepherd? - No.
- Australian Shepherd? - No.
- You're not drawing the dog, here.
- That's my choice. - OK.
(laughing and applause)
- The interrogation technique...
- My technique,
was to ask the most questions possible
to draw attention away from my drawing.
- OK, that's fine.
- Well, that won't work.
Because, if you will,
Taskmaster, we're going to see their drawings now,
- OK. - of this person.
(laughing and applause)
- (Ève): Wow!
- (Antoine): That's a lot of information, eh?
- Jo! (laughing)
["Her dog is here.] It's not a Golden Retriever nor a Poodle."
- OK, all of those questions, for that?
- Well... I call that "constructive art."
Lots of questions, so it's imbued with weightiness.
- I think that's the most fractured nose
I've ever seen in my life. - For sure!
- Like, you didn't take the response into consideration at all.
- It's not fractured.
She said she didn't have an aquiline nose.
So I made something big.
- And to me, those eyes say, "late riser."
- Let's leave the little girl with no feet.
- Christine, that, for real, is some good work.
The lips and everything, there's actually...
You have some talent. I'll give you that.
You're good. Really, I love the details.
I don't know who it us, but she's beautiful.
It's a beautiful girl. So, I'm giving you three points!
- What, three? - I'm not giving anyone five points. We can't tell who it is.
We have no way of knowing.
- Louis, just to plead my case,
Ève's has really big hands
that hang below her bum.
(laughing) - It is a little embarrassing.
- Same goes for Mehdi's.
But the person actually has very short arms.
- Well done.
- I actually like the facial details.
- Yes, but the arms! - Big ol' octopus arms.
- Hey, you know what? I'm going to give three points to everyone.
It's equal. Three points for everyone.
- Everyone wins! - When we come back,
we'll reveal who the mystery person is.
♪♪♪
- On no! There's no knife or anything?
- Ouch, ouch!
♪♪♪
(applause)
- OK, OK! We're back with Taskmaster. Antoine?
- Yes?
- Before the break, we saw some
fairly mediocre drawings.
- Average. - Approximations.
- Yes, we had asked our comedians
to draw a mystery person
just by asking them questions.
And they could earn five bonus points
if they were able to figure out who they were.
Before we reveal our muse, our mystery person,
maybe you'd like to have a go.
To guess who it is based on the drawings.
- I have no idea. - None?
- One thing is certain.
The person has brown hair...
- Not brown, you have to base it on mine.
- I don't think so. Actually, yours, in my mind...
- No, she's a redhead.
- Strawberry blonde! (laughing)
- You love her more than you love your wife.
- I love her more than I love my wife?
Whoa, that doesn't narrow it down much.
(laughing)
- C'mon, Louis! - Louis!
- I don't love anyone more than I love my wife.
Can you keep that in the edit?
I don't love anyone more than I love my wife.
- I filmed it too, Louis. - OK.
- Ah, the blackmail...!
- Let's have a look! (drumroll)
(fireworks sounds)
- It's Delphine! - It's your daughter, Louis!
- The wide eyes, the nose. - Of course, the crooked nose.
- The crooked nose?
- Strawberry blonde hair.
- Her fucking huge hands. I should have known.
(laughing)
- Her mother's hands!
- Her mother's hands...
- Her arms are a little short.
It's true. But let's see which
of our comediands guessed who she was.
- Are you in your twenties? - No!
- "Z", "H", "I", "J"? - No!
- Are you in your forties? - No!
- Are you the daughter of someone well-known?
- Yes. - Ah!
- "M"? - Yes.
- She's not an actress? Um...
Ummmmmm.....Fuck!
Ummmmm....(rolls tongue)
Makeup artist? - No!
- Stop yelling at me!
- Are you in your teens? - Yes.
- Ah, something tells me that you are
one of the Taskmaster's children.
- Yes.
- Are you Delphine? - Yes!
- Ah, it's Delphine Morissette!
Hi, Delphine!
- Is your name, Delphine Morissette?
- Yes! - Woohoo!
I got it!
- I only know one name. - Go ahead.
- Delphine.
- Maybe Amélia?
- We're going to have to ask you to leave. - Alright.
- Well no, we can't leave it there! I want to know. - No!
This person came all the way here!
- Yes, exactly.
We're not going to bother her, Matthieu. Let's go.
- You didn't guess her? - No, I didn't get it!
- And you never found out who it was? No!
- So, it was five bonus points
for the folks who guessed correctly.
We have, in first place: Ève! - Yes!
- For the moment, tonight...
(applause)
- Matthieu Pepper tends to whine a lot.
Do we have another task to see if he manages better in that one?
- Yes, that's true.
- It's a quick and dirty task.
Those are Jo's favourites.
- Yes, I love being dirty! (laughing)
♪♪♪
(sigh)
- Oh boy!
He's handsome.
- I'm a little concerned, here.
(laughing)
- "Eat the most watermelon in one minute"?
- "Your time starts when you enter the lab."
- I love watermelon.
- Probably my favourite task so far.
(laughs)
- The Taskmaster is so unpredictable, crazy!
- This is definitely going to fit me, eh?
Nobody will... This should be a task in itself, Antoine.
Getting myself into this. (laughing)
- "Bond" voyage. (laughing)
- Well, then! - Wow!
- Now he's happy - I'm happy, there.
- You really looked it!
You're going to eat some watermelon. "I like this task."
- So, it's a simple task.
And here; let's see Matthieu, Ève, and Christine...
- Oh yes, it went well. - ...execute it.
- Oh non!
There's no knife or anything?
♪♪♪
- Fuck!
(laughing)
- Oh boy, I have to bust it open!
Shit, it's going to give me another bruise. Ouch, ouch!
- What? Why on your knee? - I don't know!
- Oh, this is terr-...
(moans)
(laughing)
- Oh, that's a lot, eh?
(laughing)
- Oh, dear lord!
(laughing)
- A minute goes by quickly though, eh?
- I gotta stay classy, here.
"Date me"!
I have a Tinder profile, Antoine, did you know?
(laughing)
- How much time is left?
- (Antoine): 30 seconds.
- It's all falling out of my mouth.
- One minute!
Stop! (laughing)
(applause)
- Oh, I'm tired.
- (Antoine): Finished, finished.
That's good. It's almost empty.
- Yes, but it's eating, I imagine, that you had to...
Look, we'll measure...
- If you can't see it, it's been eaten.
(laughing)
- Oh wow!
- That's a good trick!
- OK, there's a lot to unpack, there.
First off, Ève, how's your knee?
- I had a big, big bruise! - That's a shame.
There was nothing hard lying around to break it open.
- I never thought of busting it open on the table.
I was being careful with the furniture.
- You could have always used the floor!
- I honestly never thought of it. For me, right away, it's...
- Well yeah, I saw that.
- OK, but I have a question, Antoine.
How did you measure what was eaten or not eaten?
Because, obviously, the cheater threw a bunch onto the floor?
- The cheater, of course.
- Absolutely, we obviously weighed the melons before the task.
And then, we collected everything left over,
including what was on the floor.
We weighed that and then we did a very, very skillful subtraction.
- Wait a second, because...
Just one question. - Yes?
- Did you take into account the dust
that you picked up along with the melon remnants? Because that could affect things.
- Yes, we gave ourselves a bit of wiggle room.
- Alright, we're going to have a think about this during the break.
When we come back, we'll see Mehdi and Jo's attempts.
And Ève will reflect on her strategy
to see if she would have done anything differently.
- To the left! - [Spanish]: Derecha. [Right.]
To the right!
- What if there's something ahead of me?
- Ay ay ay! - Ay ay ay!
♪♪♪
(applause)
- Oh, thank you, you're too kind!
Welcome back to Taskmaster!
So, Antoine, before the break, we saw three comedians trying to
eat the most melon in one minute.
- Exactly. Christine, Ève, and Matthieu used
fairly straightforward techniques.
- Yes. - Let's now see...
Jo; who is always a little bit different.
♪♪♪
- Where are you going?
- This goddamn bitch of a watermelon!
(surprised cries)
- (Antoine): 15 seconds.
(grunting and laughing) (Ève gagging)
Stop!
Am I allowed to swallow?
- OK, it's done, Ève. You can turn around.
- (Ève): Thank you!
(applause)
- Ève, are you OK? Are you nauseated? - Yeah, I'm good.
When someone gags, I start to gag.
- OK, we won't talk about it anymore. - I'll stop it there.
I'm not talking about it anymore. I'm moving on.
Can you explain your strategy?
- I've always dreamed of squeezing a melon
between my big thighs, Louis.
(laughing)
- Well, goal achieved.
- He waited until he could be filmed to do it.
- You helped make my dream come true.
- That was your first time? - Nice work, Jo!
- Here's where we are at the moment:
Um, Matthieu, 590g of melon.
570 for Jo!
Christine, 520. And 235 for Ève.
- That's it?
- Yes, that's it. - Eaten or remaining?
- No, Matthieu, eaten!
- Oh wow! - You're in the lead, you're dominating!
- Ah, I'm happy about that. - Bravo, Matthieu!
- Thank you, audience. Thank you very much!
- But Mehdi will swallow him whole!
- There's still Mehdi left to see.
- What did you do?
- Oh wow! - I mean, come on!
♪♪♪
(cheering)
- (Antoine): Ten.
Five seconds.
Finished.
Ah! Oh!
- Oh, but there's plenty left. - There's a bunch left, yes!
- Ingenious. - Bravo, bravo!
(applause)
Well done, Mehdi; I liked that.
Bending the rules quite a bit but stopping short of cheating.
- Well yes, that's right.
- You had access to tools. Ève, just so you know.
You were allowed.
- Mehdi, you ate the most watermelon
with 640g.
- Bravo, bravo, bravo!
- Five points; and then four points for Matthieu,
three for Jo, two for Christine
and one for Ève. - Just one?
- So, here are the current scores.
Oh, it's tightening up in first place.
We have Ève and Jo; Mehdi is bringing up the rear.
(applause)
- Everyone wins. - Well done!
- Everyone wins! - Super!
- Very, very good. I'm ready.
- You're ready for a new task?
- For the next task. - The next task,
is a team task.
- Wow!
♪♪♪
- Oh dear!
This looks like a whole ordeal...
One of them is in the garbage bin.
- No, no, no! - Go ahead, you have the honour!
- On the other hand, the longer we delay,
the less we have to deal with this stuff, here...
- With all this stuff, here.
- ...reality Is anyone in there?
- No.
- "Get this bin across the
"finish line.
One of you must be in the bin at all times..."
- We still don't know which one of us that will be.
- I don't mind pushing you.
- No, no, I wouldn't do that to you.
"The other person must remain blindfolded at all times."
- "The bin rider must direct the bin conductor
"to navigate the obstacle course.
Nobody can speak French nor English."
- "Nobody can speak French..."
(laughing)
"Your time starts now."
- [in Spanish]: "¡Tu tiempo comienza ahora!" ["Your time starts now!"]
- Who speaks Spanish well?
Who understands Spanish well?
- Well... This is starting off badly.
- So, Christine in the bin.
- Well no. Are you nuts?! - Let's go, baby!
- No, no, no!
- OK, OK. Interesting.
- So, an obstacle course
with a person in a garbage bin.
My god, that must remind you of your time at university.
(laughs)
- More so being on tour with Les Mecs Comiques ["The Comedy Guys"; Quebec comedy troupe formed in the '90s.]
So, the comedians have to
work together. This will be interesting.
- Yes. So, the conductors will be blindfolded.
Right? They'll push, and the rider will navigate,
but they can't speak French.
Let's see the first team.
- The first team weren't allowed
to speak French or English.
- Exactly. Christine, Mehdi, and Jo.
- That's even more difficult, eh? - Yes! That's true.
- OK, I'm going in. - So Med, you'll be in there.
- Mehdi, what language are you gonna speak? - Spanish; easy.
- No, but...
- [Spanish]: "Todo recto." [Straight ahead] - Todo recto, straight ahead.
- [Sp]: "Izquierda." [Left] - To the left.
- [Sp]: "Derecha." [Right] - To the right. Let's say there's something
in front of me?
- Ay ay ay! (laughing)
OK, todo recto. [Straight ahead]
- Straight ahead. Todo recto.
- Izquierda, izquierda, izquierda. [Left, left, left.]
- Izquierda. [Left] - OK, stop!
- "Stopa!" [not a Spanish word]
- [Sp]: Tresciento[s][Three hundred] [in French]: sixty "degrees". [Sp]: Sí [Yes.]
Continuar, continuar! [Continue, continue!]
No, no, no! Tres... Sí. [Three...Yes].
Sí, continuar![Yes, continue!]
Sí, esta bien. Esta bien. [Yes, that's good, that's good].
Tranquilo, oh![Calmly, oh!]
Ay ay ay, Jo! - Ay ay ay!
(laughing)
- Suavemente recular [Gently step back]
- Recular suavemente.[Gently step back] - Sí, bien, bien. [Yes, good, good].
Ay ay ay, Jo. Ay ay ay!
- [In French]: OK, wait. He's heavy.
- Recul...
- Reculado? [Moved back?] - Beep, beep, beep!
- Ciento y ocho... [One hundred eight...]
- Cientos ochos. [Hundreds eights] - Sí, sí! [Yes, yes!]
- Todo recto. [Straight ahead] - Todo recto! [Straight ahead!]
- OK, todo recto. [straight ahead.]
- "Change-o, change-o!"
- [In French]: Wait, because... "Heavy-o, Heavy-o!"
- "Change-o, change-o!" - Todo recto! Sí. [Straight ahead! Yes.]
Sí, sí, sí! [Yes, yes, yes!]
Stop! - Stop?
- Boom, Boom, deposado. [put down.] - Deposado. [Put down.]
- Tranquilo, tranquilo! [Gently, gently!]
- Todo, todo, OK! [Everyone, everyone, OK!] - Vamos, vamos! [Let's go, let's go!]
- (together): Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, [One, two three, four, five,]
seis, siete, ocho, nueve, diez! [six, seven, eight, nine, ten!]
- OK, go! - Todo recto. [Straight ahead.]
- Sí [Yes]. Stop, stop, stop!
- "Deposar, deposito?" [To put down, put down?]
- OK! OK, todo izquierda! [Everyone left!]
Stop, stop, stop!
- Izquierda, izquierda! [Left, left!] - Izquierda! [Left!]
- Recular un poquito. [Back up a little bit.] - Recular! [Back up!]
- OK, izquierda, izquierda. [Left, left.]
- Izquierda, izquierda. [Left, left.] - Izquierda! [Left!]
Todo recto. [Straight ahead.] - Todo recto. [Straight ahead.]
- Un poquito a la izquierda. [A little to the left.] - Izquierda, izquierda. [Left, left.]
- Todo recto. [Straight ahead.] - Todo recto. [Straight ahead.]
- Sí [Yes], OK, stop! - Stop!
- Deposando! [Putting down!] - Deposito Mehdito! [Little Mehdi deposit!]
- OK, los manos [the hands] "clap-clap"!
- Los manos [the hands] "clap-clap"!
(laughing)
- [In French]: That's it!
- Sí [Yes], OK! Let's go. - OK?
Derecha [Right], stop, stop, stop! - Derecha! [Right!]
- Derecha, derecha, derecha! [Right, right, right!]
Derecha, derecha, derecha, derecha! [Right, right, right, right!]
- Todo recto? [Straight ahead?] - Todo recto! [Straight ahead!]
Todo recto, todo recto! [Straight ahead, straight ahead!]
Todo recto, izquierda. [Straight ahead, left.]
- Izquierda, izquierda. [Left, left] - Izquierda, todo recto! [Left, straight ahead!]
Sí, todo recto! [Yes, straight ahead!]
- Ay! (victorious cry)
- Finito? [Finished?] - Finito! [Finished!]
- Finito, todo recto, Mehdito! [Finished, straight ahead, Little Mehdi!]
(applause)
- I feel like changing my GPS language to Spanish!
- Wow! Well done, Mehdi.
Very impressive, there. "Ay ay ay," Jo. "Ay ay ay!"
- That's good.
(fake Spanish) - [Sp]: Sí, claro. [Yes, of course.]
- You know that he's not saying real words, right?
- No, I know. He learns stuff from, "l'Île de l'amour" [Quebec's iteration of, "Love Island;" a reality dating show]
and he repeats it here. (laughing)
- Dirty stuff, probably.
- How did you know that I was the narrator?
- How long did their attempt last?
- Tres minutos y veintiocho segundos.[3m 28s]
- Well, that's not bad!
- [Sp]: Gracias. [Thank you] - (Christine): Thirteen minutes...
- ...that's pretty long, though.
- When we come back,
the Gaspésienne will try to speak English. This'll be good.
- Excellent. Stay there! Stay there!
OK, OK, left, left, left!
You're turning too much! OK, go!
- Straight ahead!
- With all the "fast" you can!
♪♪♪
- Todo recto! [Straight ahead!]
- Welcome back to Taskmaster. Antoine, before the break,
we saw the Three Amigos complete the obstacle course.
- Exactly! So, there's one attempt remaining.
I'll remind you: There's an obstacle course.
One person in the garbage bin, the other person is pushing them,
and they're not allowed to speak French.
- No French. - Let's see which language
they used. - But you're very good.
- In English? - In English.
- Excellent. A bit of an accent, but not much.
- Ève and Matthieu's attempt.
- When I was young, I put water in that
and that was my pool, and I was...
- OK, that's just sad, my friend. That's just kind of sad.
- Sad, but it's Gaspésie, you know.
- Can we go?
- Yeah, you go, the time has started.
Woohoo! - OK, OK, my chum.
(laughing)
- Go straight? - Straight but a little bit on the right.
- On the right? OK. Yes, OK.
- And here we're gonna have... You have to turn around.
- What do you mean? - You have to go to the [in French]: "reculons" [backwards]
Because there's a [Fr]: "pancarte" [sign].
[Fr]: Non, non, mais de reculons [no, no, backwards] but in the [Fr]: piste, là [path, there].
In the way. - It's gonna be a long ride.
But now you don't see if I have something behind me, there.
- Yeah, exactly but I watch [Fr]: pareil, là [anyway, there].
OK, the right, right. - Right.
- Left, left! Sorry.
- Ah Christ, it's gonna be a long time.
- Left... Right!
There, there, [Fr]: par là [that way]!
- There? I have something... - My left! My left!
- My left. - Your left too.
- Yes, the same.
- [Fr]: Plus [more] left. [Fr]: Barouette [wheelbarrow] there.
- OK. (laughing)
- OK, OK. - Yes.
- Um... - Oh, Cripes!
- Yeah, left, left, left.
Right, right, right, right, right!
There's a tire. - [In French]: Of course. Now she gets it.
- [Fr]: Oui! [Yes!]
(laughing)
- Left again? - Yeah, yeah, full left.
There's a bench. - There's a bench?
- Yeah, and we have to wait here eleven seconds
so you can maybe take a nap.
- OK. Hey, it's been... The first part went well.
- Yeah, yeah. - OK, sorry for that.
- No problem! - OK! Turn on this side.
- OK, OK, left, left, left! - Oh, left!
- You are turning too much. OK, go!
Straight ahead, straight ahead with all the "fast" you can!
- What? - Fast, fast!
- Fast, OK! - "With all the fast you can!"
- We get to [Fr:] éclater le [burst the] balloon [Fr]: par le conducteur [by the driver].
OK, straight, straight.
Right, right. OK, right, straight.
Straight, straight, straight. OK, stop!
Stop. Put the [Fr]: poubelle [garbage bin] back. OK.
Do you have something to put the balloon?
There's a balloon here.
You need... [Fr]: Pète [burst] it.
(fearful cry) Perfect!
OK, back! - Back?
- Back, back, back!
- Left, left. - Left.
- Right. Sorry. (laughing)
OK, and go straight ahead. - Ah, straight ahead! Fast?
- No, not that fast. OK, left, left, left.
Clap in your hand...
[Reading in French]: "Chacun avec chaque... [Each person with each...]
Taper dans la main de chacun avec chaque..." [High-five each person with each..."]
(Ève sings a popular, mostly gibberish clapping song for children)
(laughing)
OK, it's OK. Go, go!
- I just started to have fun.
- Straight ahead, fast, fast, fast.
Not too fast. There's another... The last mission.
- What do you mean? - Keep on, keep on.
- Sorry, there was a... - OK, OK, stop, stop!
(mumbling)
Back a little bit.
- Ah, so you don't tell me. Just read it for yourself, eh? Shit.
- Yeah, yeah, because I have to remove the noodle
but you don't see it. OK!
OK, OK.
And go straight ahead.
But little, little, little, little... OK!
- Little what? - [Fr]: Tortue [turtle], turtle!
- OK!
- And...
Go, straight ahead.
It's OK. It's a [Fr]: réussite [success]!
Oh, it's [Fr]: réussite [success]! (applause)
- Well done! - Don't drop me!
- Well done!
- Ah shit, it went well!
- Really well!
- Pretty good.
- Very well executed. - Not bad.
- Before we discuss... - Yes!
- You're a pretty good conductor, eh?
- Excellent, for the directions he was getting,
I thought he was pretty good, Matthieu, truly.
- But she was super precise. We understood each other in this...
We found each other through the fog.
- And we weren't scared, I don't think.
If I'm going by her expression, you weren't scared for one...
- Well, there were a few times where he stopped pretty abruptly.
Straight ahead, fast, fast, fast.
- C'est ça.
(laughing)
- Maybe a little brusque on the starts and stops.
If I had to do it over again, I'd be gentler.
- The clutch slipped. It's ok.
- Because once it goes off, the Pepper is primed. Hey, my Jo?
- I was, like: "turtle."
I learned how to drive on a lawnmower.
You see, I was, like: "turtle, turtle".
- Well, speaking of your childhood.
Can we go back to your story about
the pool in the garbage bin?
- This is gonna sound so dumb,
but it's because it was really hot.
We do have beautiful weather sometimes in Gaspésie.
We were young when those new recycling bins came out.
They were brand-spanking new. There had never been any recycling material in them yet.
- So you made yourselves some in-ground pools.
- I filled them up with a hose with 3 or 4 pails
of hot water, and I'd swim in it.
- That's both moving and disturbing.
- But it was great. To go to the pool,
you could go swimming at the Beaulieus' in the afternoon. It was fun!
- How long did their attempt take?
- So, Ève and Matthieu had to beat
3 min 28 sec.
They completed the course
in 3 min 42 sec.
(disappointed cries)
- But didn't you say "13 minutes"?
- You said 13 minutes.
- No, he said [Sp]: "tres" [three]. - Tres. ["Tres" sounds like "treize," which is 13 in French]
- It just wasn't clear.
- [Sp]: Es en espagnol [It's in Spanish]. - What did that mean, Mehdi?
- "Tres", is three [Fr]: "Treize" [thirteen], yes.
- Can I say something, though?
Because there was some wrongdoing, there. There was an error.
- I think we're thinking the same thing. Go ahead, I'm listening.
- Well, the balloon had to be burst by the conductor
and not by the rider.
- (Louis): The person in the bin.
- (Ève): Well spotted, comrade!
- Oh, I have something to say! - That's pretty much a disqualification.
- I have something to say! - We're listening.
- The conductor was the one holding the handlebars.
We were the motor.
- Well no, The handlebar is there.
- Well, no. The handlebars are at the back. The rider is inside. There's nothing in their hands.
- We were the motor.
I was the horsepower. And my colleague, here...
- The mare-power! - Nice try, but no.
- In any case, it's not just the timing
that will be taken into account in the scoring.
Louis took everything into consideration:
He's the Taskmaster.
(laughing)
- I love him!
- I have the same view on this as Matthieu Pepper.
The conductor is the person
who controls the direction.
So we'll give five points to Ève
and Matthieu, and four points to the Three Amigos.
- Four points, not bad!
- Come on!
- After the break,
it's the final task of the evening
that will completed here before your very eyes. Don't miss it.
(applause)
- Hide behind your chairs.
- Oh, what a good idea.
♪♪♪
(applause)
- Of course, thank you so much!
Welcome back to Taskmaster, Our comedians will now take part
in a task in front of our live studio audience.
So, who is going to read the task, Antoine?
- It's Christine.
(joyfyl cry) - Lucky!
- I'm super happy! - We're listening.
- So... - "You must..."
(laughing)
- Ah, bastard!
- "Make the longest, continuous noise.
There will be a bonus point for the best noise."
Oh boy.
- Can we get that in Spanish, Mehdi? - Yes.
- (in a Spanish accent): "Make the longest, continuous noise."
- Oh come on, now!
You're not even trying anymore! - Perfect.
- You're not even trying, now.
- Hey, they're both Latin languages. They sound similar, OK?
- OK, alright. So, the longest continuous noise.
As soon as there's a pause,
even for a second, we stop everything?
- That's right. I have the timer.
To prevent you from imitating
or observing the others' performances,
Jo is going to start; the others have a blindfold.
You'll put that over your eyes.
You'll wear your headphones. - Yes, put your headphones on
so that you can't hear what the person is doing.
- So you can't hear them or see how much time they're taking.
Jo, I'm going to ask you to stand up.
- Jesus Christ!
- Are you ready, Jo? - We're listening, Jo.
- Here we go.
(farts)
(laughing)
(applause)
We're going for the bonus point, I think.
- (Louis): That's the end of his career.
- OK. - OK...
- Look at him. (laughing)
He's like a proud little boy.
- I'm on TV, mom!
- OK. - Are you ready?
- Like in scuba diving,
you really have to empty out your lungs.
- Yes, you have to stop talking too, I think.
(inhales deeply)
(applause)
- How is she breathing?
(inhales deeply)
It's over!
Well done!
(applause)
Nice job!
- You have to produce the longest continuous noise.
- Perfect. - You tell me when you're ready.
- Alright, one second.
- I hope you can beat my sound.
- OK.
I'm ready. - Here we go.
- Are there pauses in there, Antoine?
Not really.
- Is that a continuous noise? That's the question.
- No, there are gaps. - No, it's jerky. - It's jerky.
- What's more horrible?
Stopping her now or letting her continue
for, like, ten minutes?
- My arms will give out before then.
- That's not continuous. - It's slowing down a bit.
- Oh, it's slowing down. - Oh, it's getting quieter.
- It's still there.
(laughing)
- You're gonna wear yourself out, Christine.
- You're going to injure yourself!
(applause)
- That's enough! - Finished!
- 44 seconds.
(inhales)
(laughing)
- That makes me want to pee, in any case; that's for sure.
He can't be doing it for that long.
He can't be... Because he can't inhale.
- No, but maybe he's inhaling then continuing.
- Finished!
- Ah, wait! I didn't know
we could inhale, and breathe.
- Hide behind your chairs.
- What a great idea!
(laughing)
- It's your turn!
Mister Pepper! - Yes? - It's your turn.
- Honestly, it's extremely offensive...
Where did they go? - That's perfect.
(Jo cries out)
- Zero points.
- Oh, he was definitely scared!
- Hey, you couldn't have played
a little Roch Voisine [French Canadian singer-songwriter] for us, eh?
It had to be big heavy metal.
- That was Roch Voisine at the start of his career.
- Oh well, he was certainly different. - Before, "Hélène." [His best-selling album] That calmed him down.
- Are you ready? - Yes.
Ah, he had the same idea as Jo? - That's been done, already.
- Ah, you did that?
- Listen up! Are you ready?
- Yes, yes.
- Here we... please!
Here we go!
(Fart noises)
- Wow, he's deflating quickly!
(laughing)
- Finished.
(applause) - No points!
- No, that was very good.
♪♪♪
- Yes, yes, alright.
Alright, alright, alright.
OK, we've reflected on all of this, Antoine.
Can you just...
remind us of the exact times of
our comedians' noises?
- With pleasure! Christine
won the task with 44 seconds.
- What?
- Ève did 28 seconds!
Mehdi, 21 seconds.
Mister Pepper, 9.
And Jo, 2 seconds.
- I'd like to ask a question
regarding the originality of the orifice.
- That's the point we've yet to assign. The Taskmaster...
- There's one point for the best noise.
- Yes!
- But...
- Audience, what do you think?
- Yes. (applause)
- Wait, if I may.
- (audience): Jo, Jo, Jo, Jo!
- It's the return of television's black sheep.
So, one point to Jo!
- I made the same noise,
but without the stench. There should have been...
- No, you weren't there for it. You weren't there.
It wasn't the same at all.
No, you had some class. - My god!
- Jo, this bonus point helped you climb up
in the rankings, but not to first place.
Tonight, our winner is a woman:
Ève!
(joyful cries)
- Congratulations, Ève!
- We'll see you next week
for more tasks with the same five comedians.
It's OK, you can go get...
- Yes sir!
The $25 mic!
- Can you feel it? Of course!
(applause)
Subtitles: u/the-little-kicks for r/panelshow November 2022
♪♪♪