Why?!
- No ... - Last verse!
Good evening. Welcome to Stormester.
Five brand new foolhardy duelists have been summoned from far and near -
- to try to impress me, Lasse Rimmer, with their efforts.
I've been looking forward to this. Let's greet the brave quintet.
Anders Breinholt. [journalist, host of Natholdet late-night talk]
Neel Rønholt. [actor, writer]
Mahamad Habane. [stand-up comedian]
Annika Aakjær. [singer-songwriter]
And Jakob Thrane. [stand-up comedian]
You're sitting nice. Nice to see you.
- You too. - New team, new season.
New house, a new chair. You've got a new suit.
I asked for a new suit. A whole new one.
Not the clothes from the first season with 40 liters of green paint.
I sense an undertone of ingratitude.
I've got a new suit. New season of Stormester.
My faithful assistant, Mark Le Fêvre.
Le Fêvre is French and means "tennis champion".
- No ... - Yes, I'm pretty sure.
We aren't just playing for a single trophy for the whole season -
- but also a prize every time. What are we playing for tonight?
We have asked one of the participants to bring a personal item.
It should be something that the person would rather not do without -
- so they make an effort to win it back.
- Who has today's prize? - Annika Aakjær does.
What are we playing for?
We're playing for the keys to my 2002 VW Lupo.
I'm not done. It has an electric sunroof and automatic transmission.
It has cruise control and drives 30 km on a liter of diesel.
But it has to go to the workshop first.
- You have to do that yourself. - It's part of the prize.
That's not all we're vying for.
After seven programs, one of our five talented participants -
- could decorate their home with this fleshy face.
Mark Le Fêvre, shall we get started?
We start with a task where I spent three hours in a trash can.
It's good to be back.
- Where's Mark? - I wonder where Mark is.
Mark?
It's good enough. A task.
Did he hide in a trash can?
"Which trash can is Mark in?"
- "Observe the seven commandments." - "Guess only once."
"None of the bins can be opened ..."
"... unless authorized by the seven commandments."
Time starts when I say so.
Mark is lying there with his iPad. I can keep talking.
When oxygen is lacking, one of the bins will shake.
Isn't it hot, Mark?
- "Fastest guess wins. Time starts now." - Let's see the seven commandments.
"You have to roll one trash can 3 meters."
- "You must gently shake one." - "You must strike one with the frying pan."
- "You must overturn one trash can." - "You have to listen to one."
"You must, without looking, let one thing fall into one trash can."
"You must make one call to Mark while standing inside the shed."
Okay...
I have often looked at God's 10 commandments and thought they could be made shorter.
- And more positive. - I should have used the 6th commandment.
"You must, without looking, let one thing fall into one trash can."
- A heavy thing. - Not to hurt you, Mark.
It's only now that I remember that commandment.
You think oxygen torture would be a good method.
I want to find out where he is. Mark quickly panics.
Mark is neurotic about certain things.
Oxygen may well be one of them. It could have helped me.
Is it unique to Mark that he's anxious about not being able to get air?
I just think he gets claustrophobic if someone closes the lid.
- Do you suffer from claustrophobia? - Apparently.
- We talk a lot with Anders. - And we start with him.
Now that's a surprise.
"You have to make a call to Mark while standing inside the shed."
Hello, Anders.
Hello. Where are you?
- I'm sitting in a trash can. - Which one?
A really hot one.
I've heard you're good at yodeling. Can I make you yodel?
- Thanks. I don't need more. - It's good.
I hope to the powers that be that this is it.
He's sitting down there.
Well, then I have not won.
Then Mark must die.
Then Annika Aakjær must find him.
- Shouldn't you use more? - It's not just one. It's true.
You had an opportunity to examine the bins.
- I didn't understand it either. - I didn't read the task properly.
It is the first task, so there will be better tasks.
You may be failing, but you're doing it fast.
- Did anyone use multiple commandments? - We can see Nabane and Annika.
Yes, please.
"You must gently shake one trash can."
"You have to listen to one trash can with a stethoscope."
- He's not in here. - "You must overturn one trash can."
Why aren't I stronger?
Damn. "You must strike one trash can with a frying pan."
Mark.
I hit him right in the head, I think.
- Hi, Mark. Did it hurt? - What?
No, Okay. Well.
- It's Mark Le Fêvre. - Be a good boy and stand up, Mark.
- Otherwise I'm freaking out. - Then you have to freak out.
Then I have to hit you on the forehead.
"You must gently shake one trash can."
"You must, without looking, let one thing fall into one trash can."
Okay.
Mark is in here.
I think he's here. That's my guess.
What?
Is there another trash can somewhere else?
Effective, I would say.
In commandment 2, there is a word that you disagree on the meaning of.
You have to gently, Annika, shake one trash can.
- Then you'll see me when I'm crazy. - I'm never letting you hold a baby.
- It was dramatic. - You can keep my Cocio. [chocolate milk]
You hit the right trash can. He thought he hit you in the head.
- It was very uncomfortable. - Well, that was the right one?
It's well done. So why didn't you say anything?
- I asked if it hurt. - I didn't know where I was.
Annika, so far you're the only one who found him.
You try in a loud voice to coax Mark out of the trash.
- He didn't listen. - It was against the rules.
I didn't understand what you said. "You must be a good boy."
I commanded with you. I felt militaristic.
But it worked. Let’s see if anyone was faster.
One solves the task quickly. One breaks the rules quickly.
Is it me?
I must gently shake one, but I guess that's violent.
Okay. "You have to overturn one trash can."
I can start with that.
I think Mark's in here.
- I was right here. - It was you.
It's called female intuition. See you.
I have to ask you, for the whole class -
- read commandment number 2 aloud. What does it say?
"You must gently shake one trash can."
- You shook them all violently. - I don't think it was violent.
No, not as violent. Mine was more careful than yours.
- I don't know. - I thought it was pretty violent.
It's not up to you.
You're a participant after my head. It's never up to Mark.
In fact, no. We must get done with Jakob Thrane.
Welcome to the program. You are disqualified.
- Then there must be clapping. - Then they clap.
Neel. You follow the rules.
You make the right choice. Bucket #5. And you do it fast.
Yes, I was actually quite surprised myself.
I usually have no luck in games.
I obviously have good intuition when it comes to trash cans.
- Let's get some points. - Zero to Anders, Habane, and Jakob.
Two wrong guesses and one disqualification.
Annika got me out after eight minutes and 49 seconds.
Neel was a little faster. One minute and ten seconds.
For a long time, Danes haven't been able to travel abroad on holiday.
- Can we have a little holiday atmosphere? - Yes, I can handle that.
["Warm regards from Stormester" in German]
- Hello. - Is it Postman Pat? [animated char]
- No, my name is Mark. - It's because I'm myopic.
- Mark. What will happen? - Is it in there?
This means there is mail.
Shall we look at it?
"Build an inventive imitation of a famous tourist attraction."
"You have 10 minutes to make your shopping list."
"You have 20 minutes to build."
"The most inventive wins."
"Time starts now."
I want to ask for something real. And something made of papier-mâché.
A thick paper towel. Black paint. Pine trees.
Plover.
- And lots of white modeling wax. - What the hell to do?
- Where have you been? - Nowhere.
I can't travel out of the country. I'm a refugee.
- I need some glasses. - I choose the Taj Mahal.
- Or down under. - A wig.
- It would be cool to bake it. - And a nice chair.
- What is easy to build from? - Citrus fruits. Lime.
- And a book. - Orange. Lemon.
- Bechamel, frozen spinach, onions. - A fake nose, bigger than yours.
I'm building the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Of passports.
- Pomelo. Did I say grape? - I have to make a lot of passports.
My cousin actually sells them.
- That's what I'm asking for. - The rest I have to find in my heart.
- I look forward to that. - I can understand that.
I need to be able to recognize the attraction. Similarity is one parameter.
And then there's how inventive you are.
That is the second parameter.
That is, ingenuity and similarity. Who's going first?
I offer dancing with three beautiful things.
Neel Rønholt, citrus fruits, and extremely high falsetto.
Where is it going? How's it going?
Like this. We need four of them. Like that.
I think it's going to be nice. Like this.
So. Well. It's very nice.
Up with the clouds. I warm up my voice.
I remember it as if you were singing along.
Maybe just before the clip ...
We are actually on Utzon's Sydney shells. [Jørn Oberg Utzon: designed Sydney Opera House]
But exactly how close did we get to the original edifice?
- Shall we look at them side by side? - Yes, here it comes.
Yes...
I think it's nicely solved. Let's continue.
- Who's next? - Habane. He has many things.
Nice hair. Talent. But no passport.
We get an explanation afterwards. Let's see your attraction.
Can you speak Somali? Say "What are we going to eat tonight?"
We don't say that in Somalia.
It's fucking cozy. Like needlework in school.
Yes, yes.
It's coming ... It's a whole monument.
Well. There we have it.
The Leaning Tower of Pisa. Of passports. Of pizza.
I'm out.
Yes, yes. I don't have a passport, Mark.
That's because I'm a refugee.
I haven't seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
When I wrote to you, you said it's because you're a refugee.
But you hadn't applied for one either.
- Laziness comes into play. - I have applied for it once.
Yes, I did. I performed for the Crown Prince Couple.
For the afterparty, I talked to Crown Prince Frederik.
He said, "That was fucking funny, Mahamed."
"Thank you, Frede." I just call him Frede.
I presumed to ask if he could fix that passport.
Then he said no. So I gave up.
I'll probably say ... I'm from Somalia.
If you ran for just one of the presidents of Somalia ...
There are many. That's why there is civil war.
I'm just saying ... If he liked you -
- and you asked for a passport, they would come running with a gold passport.
"Go ahead, my good lord."
I talked to he who will be king soon.
"No, you need to talk to Lone from the civil service."
Let's take a look at how the Leaning Tower of Pisa you've never seen before -
- in passports and in pizza, looks compared to the original?
- Wow. - Okay.
I am impressed. On to the next masterpiece.
Yes. The next is Anders Breinholt.
Yes, it's Bornholm. [Danish island]
- What were you going to build? - Dueodde Fyr. [lighthouse on Bornholm]
- What is your relationship with Bornholm? - I was a soldier over there.
When you are on holiday, you start talking like that.
"I would like smoked herring."
Finally, the waiter asked us to shut up.
Do you know why all Bornholmers run around with scissors in their pockets?
Then you can see they come from a rocky island [klippeø - wordplay].
- 15 seconds. - Thanks.
I love your local patriotism. Dueodde Fyr.
We've seen the Sydney Opera House and the Leaning Tower of Pisa -
- and then you select a lighthouse for cutters on Bornholm.
Hammerhus [medieval fort on Bornholm] would be too difficult. Dueodde Fyr was easier.
You can go there.
It's a beautiful place. He must not travel.
- Then go to Bornholm. - It's also a good place.
Mark Le Fêvre. Let's compare Dueodde Fyr with Anders' interpretation.
Here's a comparison.
Yeah, okay. It's okay.
- Who are we missing now? - We need a trip to India.
Can we just lower our expectations a little bit?
Keep that in mind, and then play the damn clip.
How many lasagnas high is the Taj Mahal?
- 60. - We have five.
Then it just has to go in.
Then just follow over there.
No...!
- What happened? - It overturned. It's coming out now.
Oh ...
Fuck, it's hot.
Ouch!
- Ten seconds. - No!
And the dome. No! No...
- Did I say welcome? - Thank you.
The Taj Mahal has stood for 400 years. Yours held for six minutes.
- Why was it in the oven? - We could eat it afterwards.
We could also examine what the Taj Mahal would look like -
- if we put it at 220 degrees. [428F] Then it might look more like that.
- Then it probably slips out too. - A curly man stands and screams ...
I think the guards will stop you before you arrive with bechamel.
Jakob Thrane, I was thrilled with the approach to your building.
Let’s look at it in comparison to the Taj Mahal.
- Yes... - Yes.
I like it.
That's how the Taj Mahal sees itself.
The Taj Mahal has very low self-esteem.
It was a good effort, but did not end as expected.
We lack just one.
We are missing Annika Aakjærs. If you are a little observant -
- maybe you can put two and two together in relation to this.
- We go with the big nose. - Yes...
- Does it wash off? - It's going insanely good.
Shout "to travel is to live". [Hans Christian Andersen quote]
To travel is to live...
I was born in Denmark ... Shout it again.
- To travel is to live. - We've done well, Mark.
- Yes, that's for sure. - I am satisfied.
I had also ordered Asians with expensive cameras.
But it was very difficult in the middle of the coronavirus era.
They belong to that statue. H.C. Andersen at Rådhuspladsen. [Copenhagen city hall square]
- Yes. - It's then ...
A question arises.
Why does Mark's version have sausages on its shoes?
There are sausages, remoulade, and herring.
Why?
I probably just wanted to do that to Mark.
I'm ready to hand out points. Good effort, Jakob Thrane.
But disappointing result. You get one point.
And then it gets difficult. The field is hard. Neel, two points.
It also means that Anders and Dueodde Fyr must have three points.
Then there is H.C. Andersen and the Leaning Tower.
It's a great story that you've never been to Italy.
Five points for Mahamed. Four to Annika.
- I have only one thing to say. Vroom. - Then we're going to the mechanic.
Let's see how it goes.
- Where are we going now, Mark? - Now you have to go for the gold.
- Jakob Thrane. - Hi, Mark.
You must wear a helmet. Does it fit well?
How close should it fit?
There's a tomato.
- What? - A tomato.
- There's something about getting it up there. - Isn't it a tomato?
Isn't it a tomato? No, a potato.
There are no reptiles or spiders down here, are there?
If there is, I will refund my participant fee.
And then I'll leave this place.
- Christ on a stick. - "Gather your hands."
"The tip of all your fingers on one hand ..."
"Touch the tip of the corresponding fingers on the other hand."
- Like this? - Like that.
- "Keep them that way all the time." - Like this, right?
"Turn the task over now."
"Place the most gold rings on this drumstick."
- "You have five minutes." - "Time starts now."
The gold rings are hard to find when you're standing there.
- Who do we take first? - The best paid. Anders.
How to make unboxing videos on YouTube.
"Hi, blog. Then I got a pair of Skechers."
No! We'll cut that out.
There are no rings in there. There is only one.
It was good mouth work.
Come to Daddy.
Namaste.
- It's there. Can you see it? - Yes, there is one ring on.
There are no more rings as far as I know.
Namaste. Anders Breinholt, damn it ...
What to do? Obviously not like that.
- "Cut it out", and then you continued. - Strange rocks.
- It's not like on Natholdet. - Yes, they are the same from Ukraine.
They're also cheap.
I would like to see some more participants.
- Can I tempt you with Annika and Jakob? - Yes, please.
There are not a thousand gold rings on this one, are there?
Sick if the whole underside was just gold rings.
What can you do?
- You also have a gold ring on. - Do you have any? Do I have to get it?
How do we do that, Mark?
- Spread your fingers. - Uh, it's clammy.
There is also one here.
- Okay. - Nice. A bowl of baked beans.
It's just like beans. So I don't mind.
It's disgusting.
There's a double layer, Mark.
Three seconds. Time's up.
Now it's located. There are two now.
It was an unpleasant start to the day.
When you finally got into the fight, it was with the buds in front.
I obviously have low standards for what I put in my mouth.
How much of your dignity did you leave inside the room?
I took a long bath. I would like to admit that.
You identify many of the same rings.
Would you have done something different? Jacob used both toes and mouth.
I was very happy not to go down in the beans.
Mark, how did Annika and Jakob manage?
Annika, you found two gold rings. But you only placed one.
- You are listed for one gold ring. - Two. - One.
- Two, thank you. - One, goodbye.
I hear your two and round down to one.
- We'll write one. - Jakob, on the other hand, had speed.
There are five gold rings in total.
One under the table. One on my finger.
One in a plastic container, and one on the helmet. It was close.
And yet so far away. One in a bowl of baked beans.
You found four and only missed the one on the helmet.
What about the last two?
As they say on another TV2 program: "Notice the fine footwork." [Dancing with the Stars]
Now we'll see here.
Come straight with your hand.
- One. - One gold ring.
There's nothing in it. There were no rings.
Why should I wear that helmet? There's something on it.
Why did you stick one down here?
30 seconds. There's one there!
Time's up.
Is time up? See you.
- Six, Mark. - Congratulations on that.
I was always chosen last for football in primary school.
You are so good that you aren't even surprised it succeeds.
No, that was the plan.
- How did you become so good? - I've played a lot of football.
In Somalia, we joked about making money.
- It was a gloomy explanation. - I found gold rings.
- I've played a lot of football. - You did the job well.
- Neel, were you satisfied? - I was annoyed by that.
May I hear how many rings they got?
- Zero points to Anders for breaking the rules. - Namaste.
Three points to Annika for one ring. Four to Habane for three.
And five points to both Jacob and Neel for four rings each.
This actually means that Neel Rønholt is in the lead.
I was impressed by the legwork in that task. Do you have more?
I have a task where you have to impress another important person.
Not as important as you, but important nonetheless.
Oh no.
Hello.
- Good day. - Hi hi.
Hello.
I would like to admit that I don't know what this is.
There it is.
- "Impress the ambassador." - "You have 20 minutes." - "Time starts now."
Okay...
Let’s establish one thing first.
Mark Le Fevre, this is not an extra.
It is Pakistan's actual ambassador to Denmark.
It is the current Pakistani ambassador, Ahmad Farooq.
- But yes. - Let me add something.
It's cut off, but I asked if he could help with my passport.
He couldn't either. I could get a visa to Pakistan.
I just came from Somalia. I'm not going any further.
You all seemed quite pressured.
I think it was so cross-border.
I also know how I solved it.
Do you sit and wish that we shouldn't see you solve the task?
- Yes. - That was a quick answer, Neel.
- Are you in it, Jakob? - We just cut.
The ambassador is not easy to impress. Can Mahamad handle it?
- Let's see. - Oh boy.
That's it. See you.
- You're not afraid of yourself. - I was shitting in my pants.
I hadn't said what I wanted to do either.
Mark also just stood and watched for far too long.
- It was so nice. - It was a mic drop.
He should be impressed.
How many times out of ten do you think you can do this trick?
Should I try now, or what?
There is secret information on this.
Of course it's going wrong now.
So close. You get another chance.
It's an iPhone 5.
Mark Le Fevre, who should impress the ambassador now?
I must say that it's my personal favorite.
We're gonna see Neel show what she thinks -
- is the most impressive, she can at all.
Play it now!
You were so proud of yourself.
It's an open task, and you had 20 minutes to impress.
I have no skills. I can't juggle.
I thought the only thing ... I don't know why I did that.
Mahamad has just shown us that he can do it again.
- I can't stop again. - That's why I want to experience it.
- It was good. - Yes.
I'm letting it go on ... It's escalating.
Oh well...
It was thought that you couldn't be more embarrassed, and so ...
- Mark Le Fevre, who do you have for me? - We will see both Jakob and Anders.
Like ... Yeah, I don't know what they're doing. At least they do something.
Impress him ...
It went very well.
He sat for 20 minutes with that disappointing expression.
Anders, you tried to impress with Natholdet and a road party.
One thing was not in the clip. It was obviously cut out well.
That was the prelude. He has been in Denmark for three weeks.
I thought integration.
I would impress by inviting him to Tivoli and to the road party.
I wanted to show him Danish humor. We tried some phone bullshit.
We called the butcher and said, "Do you have pig ears?"
The butcher didn't pick up the phone.
I panicked and talked loose, and then we came out into every nook and cranny.
We actually ended up talking about the wallpaper on his computer.
Whether he himself had installed it or whether the government managed it.
I reached far and wide. I wanted to help and integrate him.
Give him a good time in Denmark.
We are missing a single participant. Annika.
It's very clear that we are dealing with a top, top, top professional singer.
You were all nervous, but here the ambassador was nervous.
You would put your fist in your mouth.
But you didn't have to.
I don't know if it gnaws at you, but he loves Pretty Woman.
I didn't get it. Subtract it in points. Unless ...
Before you put your fist in your mouth, we must remember -
- that it's not me who hands out points.
- The ambassador does it himself. - Correct.
Congratulations, Annika.
Neel would probably have liked to have sold it for three points in advance.
I probably didn't choose the right tactics.
You know you were bad when you lose to burping.
- It's good I have you, Jacob. - There's one thing I need to know.
How do the points affect the position?
Neel and Annika have taken the lead.
Annika leads with 16 points. Neel follows with 15.
Mahamad is right nearby. It's not Anders.
Annika seems to have a chance to drive home in her own vehicle.
- It can't drive right now. - That's the only problem.
We are still missing the live task that takes place here on stage.
Anything can happen. No, Anders can't win.
Now it's time for the final task. Last chance to score points.
- Who reads the task aloud? - It's Annika Aakjær.
Oh. Okay.
"Draw the second longest snake on your toilet paper."
"Your snake should be at least 2 cm wide."
"It should be nicely rolled up after three minutes."
"Bonus points for the best snake."
Did you say you should draw the second longest?
Yes, so it's something with ...
After three minutes, the snake should be rolled up.
There are five points for the second longest snake.
- And only for the second longest. - Is the task understood?
Fine. The three minutes start now.
It's some real shitty paper.
- Is there no background music? - I got it wrong.
It's a strange thing. You can't color them.
- What are you doing for us today? - Now I have reached the stomach.
It's going really bad. So get out of here.
- What are the tactics here? - The second longest snake ever.
Then there are five points in the account. It's a blue snake.
It's one of the dangerous ones.
You must roll up your snakes nicely before the three minutes have passed.
- Is it going as it should? - Yes. What does it look like?
- There's not much noise from here. - No.
Ten seconds. Five, four ...
Three, two, one.
Time's up.
Take really good care of that snake.
- Here you go. - Thanks.
Let's start with Anders Breinholt.
Let's see. Beautiful.
- Great. - It doesn't get much applause.
I admit it's a drawn snake.
Right now, yours is both the shortest and the longest.
Got it. And the most beautiful.
- Do you want to help? - Yes, why not?
You have worked at the Royal Porcelain Factory.
Oh ... Like that.
- Most beautiful and second longest. - Now Neel's is the second longest.
Oh...
Neel still has the second longest snake.
It's also beautiful. A great kid.
- What is this? - A drawing.
What in heaven's name is that?
- It's second longest. - It is.
- But is it a snake? - Right now you have the second longest.
It's exciting.
Where does it end?
- There are two snakes. - I have drawn the second longest.
I have drawn two so the second longest is mine.
Try to hear. I award points for two different achievements.
Mark, it's obvious who drew the second longest snake.
An insane human being. Annika Aakjær.
Two bonus points for the best snake.
Viewed from a falcon's eye perspective, Neel Rønholt has made the finest.
Who has won the first program of the season?
This means that the winner is ... Annika Aakjær.
Come up and receive your prize.
A prize that Annika Aakjær herself had put at stake.
This is only the first stop on the road.
Next stop is an auto mechanic.
Annika becomes the first winner, but the journey is long.
See you next time. Thanks for tonight.
Danish text: Martin Schiær Danish Video Text