Just keep it there, good.
Oh no it's all entangled!
A bar of sausage...
Important situation, we've got the president here
Good evening and welcome to Taskmaster!
I am the Taskmaster, but I am also a human being.
And just like all human beings, I tremendously enjoy watching entertainers sweat –
as they try to solve difficult problems.
It just might be the best entertainment there is, so without further ado, let's get started.
Our regular contestants are: Roni Back – [*Youtuber]
Janne Kataja – [*Comedian, magician] – Hi, hi!
Jukka Hildén – [*Stunt performer, The Dudesons group "Finnish Jackass"]
and Jenni Poikelus. [*Radio & TV personality]
And this week, tonight, competing with them is –
an absolute favourite, the brilliant actress Miitta Sorvali.
Thank you! Yay!
And here by my side, day after day, sits the contest's referee, Pilvi Hämäläinen.
– Thank you! – Pilvi, what are some of the fun things that we can look forward to today?
Today you can expect some really great tasks.
– Better than before? – Well not specifically better, I guess –
Pretty much the same quality as usual.
Or if I really think about it, it's possible that this time they're even a bit worse than usual.
Somebody might even think that they're utter rubbish [*manure] but go figure.
But hey, it's been a terrific sales pitch, thanks for this!
Before we get to the actual contest, let's find out what we'll be competing for tonight.
And of course that's where the first scores will be handed out too.
– Pilvi, could you explain what this is about? – With pleasure.
As in the previous episodes, the prize is a collection of items that the contestants have brought from their own home collections.
And this time, what you asked them to bring was, 'their most outlandish souvenir.'
And just a reminder: it should be one that you can banish with antibiotics.
Why is Jukka the only one laughing?
And a bit nervously too. – And a bit nervously, indeed.
Right. Let's get started. Jenni, what souvenir did you bring?
I brought a very dear souvenir.
This is a bread roll from a Lisboa flight a few months back.
Why do you have that bread roll?
The tray was cramped, I put it it in my pocket and forgot that it's there.
Have you tried the other pocket just in case the chicken pasta is there?
I ate that one from there. – That one you ate, but from the pocket?
Well it really was a flight on a budget. This one was rather peculiar.
Next, Janne. Here's what you brought. What is this?
– It's a copper kettle from Turkey. – Why did you get it?
– I don't know. – What did your wife say about this?
I don't know, she left.
Does it have something to do with the kettle?
No, it didn't have anything to do with this. But it did with kettles in general. [*Kettle = slang for head in a fig. of speech that describes someone being angry/annoyed]
So you're clearly a kettle man then. – I am.
Jukka, you brought this.
Yeah it's my lucky cane. The story I could tell you about it is that –
I was driving cross-country in the US and somewhere around Texas, a cop car siren started blaring behind me and –
The disco ball was spinning and the lights were blinking and then this Texas ranger comes up and knocks on the window and goes:
"Sir, please step out of the vehicle." Well I step out and I have this staff in my hand and I'm wearing a G-string and –
I have this fresh USA (burn) brand on my buttock and –
He just looked at me and went: "Sir, please step back into the vehicle."
And he let me go without fines, so this thing has really taken me places.
– It has. Miitta, you brought this. – Yeah – What is this?
I was 18 years old. We hitchhiked with my 24 year old friend Liisa –
from Poland through Czechoslovakia to Hungary.
I was this nice girl with pigtails and no make-up –
and Liisa was this erotic, 24 year old femme fatale.
The only thing I remember about the trip is that Liisa constantly wanted to be off to make love.
Even if the driver was a bit eccentric, every once in a while she'd just say, "Wait, we'll stop here and we'll make love over there on the side of the road."
And I just ate banger sandwiches or something all by myself there. – But what is this?
What this is. Well I on the other hand didn't make love once, but I bought something, just ALL the time.
So we had backpacks, we're hitchhiking! I bought this fur coat from Czechoslovakia.
It was this, how could I put it, a 100-year old fur coat of a cossack that stood so still, it was like it was made of wood.
You can't even use it. I just thought it was so magnificent.
So I'll always remember that Liisa carried the fur coat all the time and made love every once in a while.
– Give Liisa my regards. – Yeah!
One could say that Liisa was in wonderland. [*in Finnish "Alice in wonderland", it's Liisa]
Roni, you brought this. What is this?
It's a Fort Boyard coin. There was this contest that I won in 2018 and –
I nicked that coin from there.
– You nicked a coin from there. – Yeah.
But you decided to go and talk about this whole theft business on TV.
– Can you cut this bit off? – No, this bit in particular is the only thing that will be left.
I've determined the scores, and they are as follows:
Jenni gets the five points.
Four points to Miitta.
Three points to Janne, two to Jukka just because the story was great.
Other than that, it was a rather ordinary travel outfit and souvenir, wasn't it.
And one point to Roni for the coin.
So the winner of this whole episode gets these items as a prize.
And now it's time to go to the mansion for the first proper task.
Please.
I see, I see...
"Order a custom pizza for the Taskmaster."
"The pizza to order is an XL vegetarian pizza with bacon and pepperoni –
without tomato or cheese."
"However, you can't use any of these words when you order."
"You get a bonus point if you can get the worker to say the word: marine weather."
"The most successful execution wins."
What?
Oh my, I don't think I know how to use somebody else's cell phone.
Great, I'm really looking forward to this.
Who's first? – Roni, Jenni and Janne.
– Right on! – Here we go!
Hi, I'd like to order a custom pizza for our grand master [*Taskmaster] please.
And it's an extra large vegetarian pizza.
Did I say it?
'Cause he doesn't like anything red, so there shouldn't be any of these like, fresh... I mean...
No sun dried, nor... – Red fruit. [*sic]
(Female voice:) Umm I wonder if that's like tomato and paprika? – Yeah, tom... tomato yeah!
Oops.
And don't top it with any of that grating... what is it again... – (Female voice:) Cheese?
Exactly, or um, not in any form, the substance in question.
(Female voice:) So should it be fully vegan?
Um, not like, any of that. Like, at all. – Right, yeah. Right...
– ..well that's what minced meat is... – No not minced meat, but you know these strips –
that you'd always eat in the morning too.
A kind of greasy, I think it's made of pork, that..
– Umm, okay, so... Bacon! Could it be? – Yeah, exactly! Yeah!
– What did you say before the ham? – I wonder what I just said... (laughs)
– So now there's bacon. – Yeah, that.
A bar of sausage.
What I think reminds me of the word 'pepper'. – You mean pepperoni?
Wasn't it supposed to be a vegetarian pizza? – Yeah it is, I did order (such).
I see. Right.
I wonder if my friend had any other questions... Right, he asked –
what kind of climate [*sic] it is out there, if he were to go boating today?
You know, something among the lines of "Uleå 54". [*Uleå, not a place in Google Maps. There's Luleå in Sweden...]
Well what is it, not a lake but... – The sea, you mean?
Exactly! So the programme was that, and then say what it is when there's a forecast –
for whether it's sunny or raining. What forecast...
– Weather. Marine weather. – That one, exactly!
Oh my gosh, have you looked this up somewhere? What is it, the news...
In the news there's some kind of a segment, where they always tell.
– Noooow I have no clue of what that could be.
(Sighs.) Well, fine. Okay.
Should any additional questions arise, can you be reached on this number? – Yes, absolutely!
And if you can think of what it is, the wind in the archipelago, do give me a call.
At least Janne seemed to have a few blunders there –
I mean, you started with the extra large vegetarian pizza right away, although...
This tape has been tampered with, because...
You weren't allowed to use the words in question.
Pilvi, did these pizzas get delivered? – They did, yes.
And these are the pizzas ordered by Roni and Jenni.
Both had two mistakes: they contained tomato sauce and cheese.
Also, neither one of them managed to make the worker say the word "marine weather", so no bonus points.
But how is it our fault if she's made the pizzas wrong? – It was a clear explanation!
How did Janne do? – Here's a photo of Janne's pizza.
Right. Janne's pizza had one mistake, and it was the tomato sauce.
Janne also got the worker to say the word "marine weather" –
but he himself repeatedly uttered so-called forbidden words.
So um, what should we do? – (Janne:) Ummm, what did I say?
I thought this was my best task. – Among other things, you mentioned extra large vegetarian pizza right in the beginning.
– I didn't say it in the beginning though. – (Jukka:) Well it doesn't matter where... – Did you just watch the same video as we did?
Sure I did. – Look Janne, this is what we're going to do.
Even though you were given a bonus point for this marine weather, for the wrong words and excuses –
we'll take that bonus point back. – Tough stuff.
In a minute we'll have Miitta and Jukka order some more pizza –
but now, let's go for a short break.
Welcome back to Taskmaster!
Before the break we saw how Jenni, Roni and Janne tried to order some pizzas –
with very limited instructions. Pilvi, what was the exact order?
They had to order an XL vegetarian pizza with pepperoni and bacon –
without cheese and tomato. However, they were not allowed to use any of these words while ordering.
We're yet to see the performances of Jukka and Miitta. Shall we take a look at them next?
Maybe. I wonder if I'd like to hear this one more time.
No, let's have a look.
(Busy tone on the phone.)
They hung up on me right away! This one really got off to a good start.
(Female voice:) We don't deliver to this address. – You don't deliver to this address at all?
Would it be possible to deliver here if I pay extra?
So what do you have there like, on the menu? What is it that you sell, that sort of flat, round thing?
But if I pay you 100€ extra, can you deliver here?
There's this important situation. We've got the president present here and...
What's the largest one you've got? – (Male voice:) Extra large, it's a pizza for about 3 to 4 people.
Could I order a pizza to the Kulosaari mansion please?
(Man with a foreign accent:) Yeah Vuosaari? Yeah. – No, Kulosaari!
In that case it would probably be the Vegetariana. – Yeah. What's on it?
Well then I'm just gonna say, one of those big flatties –
topped with what a pig has and then some of that terribly burning green (stuff).
Which ingredient? Rucola, meat, kebab –
bacon, ham, so, what? What do you want? We're a little busy now.
So are we. We have the president waiting here so this is a very important order.
And then those smaller round things that you put on top of the flat thing.
Might that be pepperoni? – Yeah, exactly those two ingredients would go on this pizza.
– Send as a message to this number. – I can't because I'm blind.
I must say it here. The only thing that shouldn't go on it –
is the sort of thing that's made out of cow milk, and then those red (things). – We're in a hurry now.
Now we're in a hurry a little bit. 'Cause we don't have time, you know. – Right, right, I see.
Yeah, and um, now I'm interested, 'cause there's quite the swell, so could you simultaneously check from the internet –
what this thing is, this... not the general weather, but the one that's at the sea.
– Weather, huh? Weather sea? – No, the other way around.
Marine weather?
(Angrily:) Ham, bacon... – Yeah, the no.2 that you said! After the ham.
I'll call you back. I'll call you back. – You wouldn't call me anyway. Yeah. Thanks.
That was terrific.
This is how you order a pizza. Ha ha haa!
Oh wow!
Miitta, was it so that the task itself wasn't challenging enough when –
you decided to play this president card? – Apparently! I liked the second phone call more –
but in that one I was so terribly racist that it's probably been cut. – You probably understand why.
I didn't even get a pizza from this first order, it came from the second phone call.
Miitta's calls went on as she said herself. Was there a pizza delivered to the mansion eventually?
Yes there was, both of their pizzas arrived to the mansion –
And here we have a picture of Miitta's pizza.
(Laughter) – (Miitta:) What's there to laugh at?
(Pilvi:) The pizza ordered by Miitta had four mistakes: The pepperoni was missing –
and somehow it had been topped with random extra ingredients.
Lemon mayo, ham and jalapeños.
Okay. – Jalapeños were not requested so –
Did you perhaps mean pepperoni? – Yeah but I always confuse them.
They're sort of the same thing to me.
Same here. Jalapepperoni. That's the better quality one.
But hey, other than that, how did Miitta do?
Miitta managed to...
Miitta did manage to make the worker say 'marine weather', so that gets her a bonus point.
And here we have a photo of Jukka's pizza.
Jukka's performance, it was very successful: Zero minus points from mistakes so it's a perfect performance –
and a bonus point for getting the worker to say the word 'marine weather'.
And a bonus point! – Perfect pizza and marine weather.
So Jukka gets six points.
Everyone else, four points. How's the status of the scores?
On the scoreboard, in the lead right now...
Jenni.
As we're on such a good roll, let's get straight to the next task.
Hiya! – Hiya.
This isn't gonna go well, I can already tell. – "Remove the thread from the spool."
"You have 100 seconds to prepare." – "100 seconds to act."
"Most thread removed, or the one who did it the fastest, wins.
"Preparation starts now."
So the task was to remove as much thread from the given spool as possible.
And the crucial thing here of course was to understand the difference between preparing and acting.
Wasn't it? This was probably clear to everybody.
Right. There may have been a couple of different views on that one.
If we'd just begin with Jenni and Miitta.
"Preparing starts now."
Now.
Oops!
Is this preparing? I don't know.
Oh come on!
One minute.
To prepare? – To prepare.
Oh no, this might've been a really stupid thing to do now.
And now it is OH NO now it's all entangled!
Clearly it was worth it to do some preparations. – Yeah, this was um... Don't be like that (Pilvi)!
Why are you jeering at me? – Do you think that you'll win?
Well this does actually look quite good so if I'm fully honest, quite a lot of it has come off.
30 seconds.
Ten. – Oh no! Look! Final spurt!
Time!
Ends... Now.
– Wohoo! – Well that happened.
Jenni and Miitta, I suppose you were so well prepared beforehand that you just got straight to the action.
It seems. I understand it now –
But the one thing I remember is what it felt like at the time –
So initially I sort of thought this would be the kind of creativity test where you can try a whole variety of methods.
And right away you realise, everything just freezes up here. The only thing I can do is this.
And then I thought it was this grand invention that I'd throw the spool! I was just incredibly proud of how I'd managed to be so witty and think, over the table!
It was the only thing I came up with during the entire task.
So somehow I just got this one-track mind right away.
Well, let's see how that turned out. What were the results?
Jenni managed to remove 160 metres of thread from the spool. – Oh wow!
and Miitta removed 185 metres. – Look at that!
That's quite alright isn't it? – It is.
Imagine if you'd thrown it out of the window, it would've probably been over 200 metres.
That was a decent opening. It'll be interesting to see what other issues are related to this task.
Before we do, let's go for a little break.
Welcome back! Before the break –
we witnessed how Miitta and Jenni tried to empty spools of thread by manic unwinding.
We still have… whom will we watch next?
The spool shows of Roni and Janne have been merged to one so that's what we'll be watching.
Of course.
Can we go out? Let's go. Let's go out.
Errr, where's that car?
(Pilvi:) You have one minute to prepare. – Sure.
I'll drive slowly so it doesn't snap. So the spool empties much faster than if you were to unwind it manually or...
Wait. There you go.
Can I just run like this? Ouch!
Has it- did it snap? Ohhf-
Just keep it there, good.
You have 30 seconds to prepare. – Just go go go go go now!
(Roni:) Run, Roni! Nooo what happened?
It snapped. – Preparation time ended now.
(Roni:) Just go now!
Time! – (Panting.) How can you be in such a poor shape?
Time!
Wonder where he's gone?
So Roni and Janne also had 100 seconds to prepare and 100 seconds to act.
And Roni was already emptying the spool by running outside –
and Janne took off and disappeared somewhere in a car. Where was he?
Well... I looked into it afterwards, very precisely, second by second where he was, so –
I do have that information. Janne eventually returned to the mansion so I know all about it, no worries.
Right then. Roni managed to unwind 177 metres of thread from the spool.
And Janne managed to unwind 280 metres of thread –
which is the best result so far.
(Janne:) Well it's not that much more...
Of course, we're yet to see Jukka's performance. – Right, we still have Jukka.
I wonder how Jukka did? Let's see.
"Starts..." (clears throat.)
"...now."
Most thread off the spool.
Right then!
Umm your preparation time is... – Well I don't need to spend than this.
"Time starts..." – Time starts now.
Should've done it like that.
Thank you.
Jukka! I'm surprised, still got it! – For once in my life I realised something and –
it really came to the right place.
(Jaakko:) And you really used it in the right place, that one time when something's happening.
How much thread came off?
From the spool, Jukka removed... five thousand metres of thread.
(Roni:) I think he won. – I'm a bit too thrilled now.
Jukka, that's five kilometres of thread off the spool in a hundred seconds.
So the scores are as follows:
Jukka gets five points, four points to Janne, –
three points to Miitta, two points to Roni, and Jenni... one point.
– Oh my! – (Pilvi:) After emptying the spool of thread, Jukka is in the lead –
and Roni is in last place.
(Jukka:) Quite excited now.
Hey, no worries, there's still more tasks to go and I believe we should go to the mansion for the next task now.
I see!
Hi! Thank you.
"Into the box at the end of the seesaw, load up..."
"...a collection of objects that together are equal to the referee's weight."
"You have 15 minutes to prepare. One attempt."
"Time starts now."
– Dangerous waters. – (Janne:) This one's tough.
So this task requires precision, and I would say, some butcher's eye.
Who's first? – First, let's see how Jenni, Miitta and Roni did.
Oh of course.
How much do you weigh?
I mean this feels really awful somehow..
62? 61?
58?
Time starts.. 15 minutes for getting items.
Has to be quite heavy stuff doesn't it.
Stuff like this weigh a lot. Well they don't really weigh that much.
Maybe I'll be creative for the first time in my life.
Could I lift this?
I'll just take these first, and...
I wonder how these are gonna stay upright?
Maybe this is too fragile, maybe I'll just reconsider that.
I'm turning this into a vehicle, you see.
I feel like there's plenty already there, but on the other hand how could it be like, 50 kilos?
Come on!
(Out of breath:) Hang on...
(Audience laughs.)
Yeah! That's pretty good.
I did A-level maths, I know how to calculate this.
This holds about ten litres. 10, 20. And then on top of that 2,5 and 2,5.
(Pilvi:) Two minutes to prepare.
10, 9, 8, –
7, 6, 5, 4 –
3, 2, 1, time.
Ready!
Are you on it now? – Yeah.
Oh come on! Why are you weighing it down?
There's been some mistake in the calculations now. ...And now I'm wet.
Roni, of how much use was the A-level maths in this one? – Well apparently we didn't go through litres and such separately –
so we just stuck to the metres. – Just stuck to the metres. – Yeah. Or was it feet or miles? Anyway.
I didn't understand a word you said now. – Well, A-level maths, so...
Miitta, would you have done something differently? Now that you saw this.
Definitely. Again, the same thing as in the thread's case:
Completely frozen. I keep going back in to get things –
Not even thinking about their weights.
I thought, why didn't I even go to the other building? I think there was a lawnmower there, something heavier.
I just had such a... blocked brain. – I had the same thing.
So I feel like it weighed something like 14 kilos, this unintelligible contraption of mine.
(Jukka:) It was a very elegant art installation.
Jenni you thought that just this one item would be enough? – I mean it just felt perfect.
I lifted Pilvi up and I lifted it (the item) up.
The same feeling. Equally like, cold and hard.
How did this threesome do in terms of results then?
Miitta's estimate was 31 kilograms short.
Roni's was 29 kilograms short.
and out of this group, Jenni's came the closest, so only 26 kilograms short.
Did't quite go as expected now.
Yeah, well at least these estimates were quite polite, to say the least.
We still have Jukka's performance to watch, and Janne's. Isn't that right? – Well yeah, that's right.
– Shall we watch them? – Or should we go for a break first? – You can decide.
Let's go for a break first.
Welcome back, this is Taskmaster!
Before the break, Roni, Miitta and Jenni –
tried to estimate the weight of Pilvi, the referee –
by loading her weight's worth of objects to the end of a seesaw.
Everyone's estimate was about 30 kilograms off.
There's still Jukka remaining, and Janne. Shall we watch them?
Let's. We can watch them in a single go because their footages have been merged. – Good.
Okay. I'm gonna like pick you up.
So if I bring some stuff here, then...
How much water does this hold?
Surely it says somewhere? Don't they really state it anywhere?
Incredibly annoying.
Hahaa! (Triumphant laughter.)
There was a sticker left after all!
I wonder how much this holds?
20 litres. That's 20 kilograms.
In which case that's...
So there's 20... 30.
So if this weighed about... This weighs something like two kilos when empty, so...
Damn handle came off!
– One minute and fifteen seconds. – I'd even have enough time to do some folk dancing while waiting.
But now this might actually be too heavy.
Damn it! Umm...
(Pilvi:) 4, 3, 2, 1...
– Time. – I'll remove just a little bit. There you go!
Yeah, so...
Are you sat down properly? – Yeah. And now.
(Miitta:) No, it.. It is.
Haa!
I can't believe this!
This was just the perfect estimate, Jukka. Honestly I didn't believe that anyone could get it this close.
What was the estimate based on? – My wife is pregnant so I did a little bit of estimating –
I knew something about women's weights. Based on that, I could estimate this Pilvi's weight a bit. [*Pilvi means cloud, but his grammar is off, literally making it "this cloud's weight"]
And I saw her having a bit heavier breakfast this morning, so I threw in an additional 1,5l soda bottle –
and that's what balanced it! – It was a perfect performance.
How did.. Janne. What was Janne's result? – Janne's estimate was very close –
But unfortunately it was 800 grams off. – Oh wow!
That close? But I assume it was short, wasn't it? 'Cause I'm a polite gentleman, so...
Yes short, if I stayed...
Somehow I just didn't have the nerve to put the exact change on the table after all.
You were about to, because you did throw 3-4 fistfuls of water back out, so... – I did.
In the very end, so maybe that was the 800 grams.
That was it! When I looked how enormous the tub was, I thought it would really look bad on TV –
when a middle-aged man compares her to a massive tub like that.
Should've just been honest.
You see it now, it's not always a good idea. – It really isn't.
The scores are as follows: so Jukka gets full five points, and the others get one to four according to their results.
How does the scoreboard look?
In the lead right now...
Jukka. And in last place, Roni.
But dear friends, everything can still change –
Because it's the time for the final task. Pilvi, what is the final task?
The task in question is the cream of the final tasks, one that's simultaneously sophisticated and wild.
Miitta, would you please read the letter aloud.
"Onto the board, write the second longest word starting with the letter T."
"The person who wrote the word with the second longest character count wins."
So everyone writes a T-word of choice onto the board, while keeping it to themselves.
The winner is the one whose word's character count is the second largest.
Have you understood?
Take your boards. – Yes.
And write, don't peek at each other's boards.
Could you face a little bit like...
And write the word onto the board now.
And Jenni, don't hyphenate the syllables like you normally do because they don't count.
But you can hear when the other person's got this whisking going on...
(Janne:) I'm trying not to listen. (Miitta making wobbly noise)
And now you must have finished. Janne. Could you show us what word you wrote?
"The research centre of reality". [*Actual collective of avant-garde performance artists in Helsinki]
Todellisuudentutkimuskeskus!
And you thought someone would write something even longer than that?
I thought no one would dare to write anything shorter. Because then it could regrettably lie somewhere in the middle ground.
Miitta, what word did you write? – "Television programme's."
Was it that grand? What a great, great word.
I added the S when I heard that this one was over here still writing a longer one. There's still room for an 'S.
And then the way I've written this, this is how I always write into postcards.
Somehow it grows smaller as you go and usually that thing, what is it, the address, can't even fit.
Well then. Ehhehe, ehhehe. – That's about it.
Roni, what word did you write? – I mean I thought for a long time. The only thing I could think of was...
Tuberculosis doctor.
Long one. – Tuberculosis doct-or.
What made you think of that?
Us Youtubers are often compared to tuberculosis, so...-
And then the doctor just to get some more length. – I'm speechless.
Jukka. – "Not even for a person/thing from Tampere." [*Finland's third most populous city]
Sitting next to someone from Tampere, it's the only thing going through my head. – Tamperelaiseksikaan.
What has our genuine one from Tampere written?
Disease. – (Roni:) Oh look, something in common!
Jenni had you perhaps wanted to write something longer, but you started out so big that it couldn't fit?
I guess that's what happened to me now.
Pilvi, who wrote the second longest word?
It's a tie.
Roni and Jukka both had words with 19 characters.
And I thought I'd win. I was being all winner here. – Word of the year.
In the final task the scores are as follows:
Jukka and Roni, you both get five points.
Miitta and Janne, you both get four points.
and Jenni with her word "disease" – redeemed three points. – Wow!
(Janne:) Yeah, good. That went well.
All of the tasks are done. Pilvi, what are the final scores tonight?
The contest was rather tough but after all the tasks, the person who accumulated the most points was –
Jukka!
(Jaakko:) Congratulations Jukka! – I'll take that fur coat on my shoulder and be off to make love.
Jukka, you may go over there and enjoy your prizes.
Thank you viewers, thank you contestants. This was Taskmaster.