Oh man, no idea...
Hehehee!
Noooo!
Aaaargh this is just terrible!
Good evening and welcome to Taskmaster! Once again we've got many fine tasks on offer –
but I can promise you that none of them is going to be easy.
But on the other hand, you didn't want to see easy ones anyway, did you.
So let's get started. Our regular contestants are Jenni Poikelus [*radio & TV personality] –
Jukka Hildén [*stuntman], Janne Kataja [*comedian] –
– Hello, hello! – and Roni Back [*Youtuber].
And competing with them tonight is the lovely actress Minttu Mustakallio. – Thank you.
And here next to me is the contest's official referee, Pilvi Hämäläinen.
– Pilvi, has the pencil been sharpened and the bun done tight enough? – Yes –
I'm ready to examine the actions of the contestants – and yours too – pretty ..-king closely!
While not forgetting about my own position, of course.
Good. Let's get started.
And let's first reveal what we'll competing for tonight.
At the same time, we'll be giving the first round of points.
Pilvi, will you tell us what this is about?
Sure. All the prizes of the episode are things that the contestants have brought from their own home inventories.
This time, the item you asked them to bring was –
'the most surprising picture (of self)'.
Right. One would think that this would be an easy one because –
People don't even take photos of anyone else but themselves these days, so...
Back in the day you would've photographed others, but...
– Jenni, here's the photo you brought. – Yeah.
(Jaakko:) I mean, what's surprising, this is a photo of a driver's license?
Well there's nothing surprising about a driver's license per se, but like –
the fact that my picture is on a driver's license. That's what doesn't make any sense.
– So that's the surprise? – Yeah. – Oh...
I almost could've sworn by what I've seen, that you would've been a genuine blonde, but...
Janne, here is your photo.
What's surprising about this one?
It's the only photo that has been taken of me that hasn't been retouched, at least from the tummy area –
because it is 3D printed. – Right, and these 3D printed models would appear to be surprisingly truthful.
Janne, it's this small and round thing, so if you attached a string to it, you'd get a yo-yo.
Yeah I have these as a yo-yo version as well.
Jukka, here's a photo you brought.
What's so surprising about you wrestling with Juha Mieto? [*Olympic cross-country skier, medalist]
Well there's nothing surprising about that part but um, if you look at the lower left corner –
you'll see some world wrestling champions in the background and other heavyweight tough men and then –
Who's the cutie in the middle in the red swimming trunks –
that's what's surprising about it: It's Lauri Tähkä himself! [*Famous light rock/pop/schlager front man, fans mostly middle-aged]
– What is he doing in this photo, wearing speedos? – I don't know. Doubt that he's coming from a solarium, if you look...
– He's probably waiting for his turn there. – This also won the Finnish press photo of the year in 2001 –
So it's quite surprising that it's possible to win prizes with my mug.
– I reckon it's more about Mieto's arse and Lauri's face here, so... – Same thing.
I wonder what's on Lauri's mind, probably the lyrics to that "roaring heart" song...
Minttu, here's the photo you brought. Um...
Surprising... photo about you? Would you like to elaborate a little bit?
Thank you, I would. It's an avocado seed.
And folks usually know that I've got proper green fingers.
But with this I want to demonstrate that even I can fail, and –
I have failed. The avocado hasn't sprouted.
So the surprising thing about me is fact that I haven't been able to make it grow...
Minttu there's nothing surprising about this. And actually there's nothing interesting about this either.
You've completely misunderstood this task, and even that isn't surprising.
Oh no this got off to such a bad start!
Roni Back, here's a photo you brought in.
– Oh wow. – Could you explain what's surprising about this?
So this is a selfie of me from 2015 and the surprising part is the fact that no filters were used here.
(Jaakko:) There really are no filters on this at all? – Nope. – But that is surprising. Where's this from?
– After a chin operation, I took a photo of myself. – Right, I see.
Well you actually do look exactly the same with or without a filter.
I hope these photos won't stay on our retinas for too long, it's time to score them.
– And the most surprising photo was brought by Roni. – Oh!
– So, five points.
Jukka four points, Janne three points, Jenni two points and –
Minttu, I was about to give you zero points but you did a rare thing by photographing something else than yourself –
So I'll give you one point for that. – Yay! Thank you!
And now, let's wipe these off our retinas and go to the first proper task at the mansion.
– Hi! – Hi.
Right then.
"Pop as many bubbles from the bubble wrap as you can."
– "Most bubbles popped wins." – "You have 100 seconds."
"Time starts when the first bubble bursts."
How large a bonfire am I allowed to make on this table?
You can't on this table, but outside you can make a bonfire.
And the time starts when the first bubble bursts.
– Marvellous. Who's first? – Let's start with Roni and Minttu.
(Minttu:) Right then!
– I suppose I can take this out of this room? – Yes.
Let's go outside. Oh no...
I'm thinking, if I attached these to my feet and then did something, like this –
So they would burst from a larger area than if I just did some jumping there, like this –
it probably wouldn't get as many.
Nothing's burst yet, this is still testing. Right.
(Pilvi:) I heard a pop. Time started.
They're not popping at all!
Why won't they pop? They always pop so easily in all the movies.
No way, absolutely nothing's happened here! (Gosh, like this...)
– One minute has passed. – 30 secs, 30 secs!
– 15 seconds. – Ahhh! This is just awful.
10 seconds.
– 5 seconds. – (Howls.)
Time.
(Pilvi on video:) Time.
Aw man. Admirable, Minttu. The hope you had there was so admirable –
It's like driving a rally car into the ditch, getting up, and saying "still got a chance", so...
Roni, I have to ask, when you said that they do always burst in the movies, so –
which movies were you referring to? – I can't actually say what my technique was based on now, but –
I guess I've seen some movie related to this. – But you don't remember which movie.
No, I haven't got the slightest clue.
Right, well the performances were... what they were.
What were their results? – Well...
Roni burst 52 bubbles. – (Minttu:) Unbelievable, that's a lot!
That is a lot.
And Minttu burst 83 bubbles.
I can't believe this!
Minttu, we're all just as surprised as you are –
you're in the lead at the moment – – This can't be!
Although, we've only seen two performances so far. Who's next? – Let's watch Jukka's performance next.
I'll just go and take a look at some stuff. Hold your horses.
Hildén is trying to be sly.
Oh my lawd!
Now then!
Oh god damn this can't be happening! It's stuck!
No! No!
Piece of shit! Utterly useless gadget! Oh nooo! [*Fig. of speech, lit. "sold me something shit"]
– Time. – That's that. – Thank you.
Absolutely shitty apparatus!
Jukka, I must say that this is a rather tragic experience, like –
I had high expectations when you came out with the lawnmower but, um –
it seemed like you would've made more progress with a leaf blower.
But at least for safety, I was wearing a safety helmet for what must've been my first time ever!
Yeah but the visor was up.
I also saw some movie where like in the cartoons it just drives over it, but...
Soz, I think I might've actually broken the mansion lawnmower. – The lawnmower but not the bubbles. What was Jukka's result?
Jukka's result was the weakest so far, 48 bubbles.
– Good job, Jukka! – It's alright.
Jukka, don't worry, it did have a promise of something greater.
We still have the performances of Janne and Jenni left.
Can we just not watch?
We can for a bit, because now we'll go for a little break.
Welcome back to Taskmaster!
Before the break, we were having some bubble wrap popped –
by Roni, Minttu and Jukka.
But we still have Janne and Jenni left. – And their footages have been merged.
Smart. Let's see how many bubbles they can burst in 100 seconds.
Right then.
What an I gonna burst them with? What if I just used a saw?
And that would cause a lot of them to burst.
Oh no, they won't.. they won't burst after all. How about with a chair? Ohh fu-..
Let's just remove that bit first. Are you ready?
This is going nowhere.
They're not even bursting!
– 10. – Noo!
10 seconds.
5 seconds.
Time.
Five, four, three –
two... Time.
Well I'm sure at least some of them burst.
– Jenni, I think you know what I'm about to ask you. – What is it?
– Why the saw? – I thought that I'd make some sort of nice slices out of it and –
the bubbles would just keep on popping but that's not what happened!
– Well how did it go? – Badly.
– If you could do this again, what would you do differently? – Well I wouldn't use the saw.
Good, you did learn something from this task.
Janne, what do you personally think of that two chair choreography of yours?
How much do I have to pay to not have it shown?
– It was humiliating. Humiliating! – You're right about that.
What were the results of Janne and Jenni?
I don't know if our expectations were just set very low or what happened here but –
Janne and Jenni made the highest numbers.
Jenni popped – or rather, sawed and punched with her fist – 127 bubbles and...
– No way! – Brilliant!
Janne trampled and... danced with the chair, popping 254 bubbles.
There you go! That's the way you do it!
Now this is how you swing the towel, this! [*Prob. ref. a punchline of an old joke]
I dare you to come and criticise my tactics again!
– Let's just say that it was alright. – It was enough. – Best result, you get five points for that –
and the others get their points according to how they did. Pilvi, how are the total scores?
The overall situation is very tight at the moment, but –
In the lead at the moment is...
Janne.
(Minttu:) Go Janne! – Unusual.
Janne, you can enjoy it for now, the others have room to improve. Let's get straight to the next task.
– Hello. – Hello.
"Impress a hundred-year-old."
"The one who makes the biggest impression wins."
"You have 20 minutes."
"Time starts now."
This is a fiendishly difficult task!
What do I impress a hundred-year-old person with?
– Oh my. – That's a good question.
So the task was to impress the hundred-year-old Maija.
And this time, Minttu has an extra task:
Her task is to guess –
which one of our four regular contestants makes the biggest impression on the 100-year-old Maija.
– Okay. – Who would you say it was, Minttu?
For his tone of voice, Jukka, but I won't say that yet.
– Thanks for the trust! – But you can't say it afterwards can you.
– So the task hasn't been carried out yet, Minttu. – Exactly –
you asked who I think it would be. Or do I have to know it already? – You can't know, you'll guess.
– Oh no, I'm sorry! I misunderstood. – (Jaakko:) Yet again.
Well I'm gonna say it's Jukka, about that initial brief moment I'll say that –
he had a soft tone of voice and he looked at Maija with warmth and I feel that –
maybe it was the start of this sort of deeper friendship between them and –
he has charmed Maija.
It would be nice to hear more of your reasoning, but you think it's Jukka. Pilvi, how will we watch the tasks?
All the performances will be watched in one go.
– Oh no.... – Brilliant! Let's see who made the biggest impression.
Impression.
(Formally:) Are You a hundred years old? – Yes.
Oh wow.
– Well, do you want coffee, tea, grapes? – Nothing, thank you –
I've already been served morning coffee here today, it's all been taken care of.
They already impressed you.
I, too, am usually this energetic and a little bit "field-grown" – [*Fig. of speech: a kid who grew up with little supervision and taming]
because I used to live in Härmä. [*Countryside village]
So um, I usually somersault into the room and do stunts but –
When you see a person to whom you don't need to pull those stunts –
because you want to be the one to ask and learn instead, that's when you behave according to that situation. – Right.
Oh, I know! I'll make you work of art –
that I bet you've never ever seen before. Where do you come from?
– I'm from Helsinki. – Okay. I am from Tampere.
– Is that so? – Yeah... It doesn't impress you that I'm from there.
Do you know anything about social media?
They complain a lot out there. I for one am not complaining –
because at least right now my life's pretty nice so I uh...
what would I complain about, because... – I completely agree with you! – Right...
So, is there really that much to complain about here, after all?
(Formally:) What kind of work did you use to do? – Various-... I've been bookkeeping.
And I even worked at the Suomenlinna* Commandant's Office. [*Sea fortress 15 min ferry trip away from Helsinki, now popular picnic spot)
(Formally:) Back in the day when I was a little boy, I acted alongside this Finn-Film* actress called Inga-Liisa Laukka. [*Golden age of Finnish b&w films 1919-1960ish]
So she was also in Suomenlinna for work reasons, but it was during the war.
There she worked under the Suomenlinna Finnish navy commander, in air surveillance.
Oh?
– I have two sons. – Oh, how-... – Grown-ups, retired.
Of course retired, two of them.
And such nice boys. The boys take such good care of me that –
they really take care of mummy in everything.
And so on and...
– That's nice to hear. – And then there's grandchildren, of course there's the grandchildren too and –
And then some other relatives.
On foot we used to go where we wanted to. So if-...
– On foot? – On foot, always.
– Quite different, huh. – Well there was no other way. What could...
Myself, I have this thing called an electric skateboard*, that you can get around with, so... [*Informal Eng slang, therefore not even Finnish]
– That's a part of the modern world. – Yeah. [*Informal Eng slang, therefore not even Finnish]
But so, back in the day your own legs were the only thing that worked.
Are you ready?
Oh I see, so this thing was blown into a balloon, huh?
Right...
– Ta-dah! – Oh how nice. Nice one...
You can have it. Here you are!
Thank you. Oh look how graceful it is, it's wonderful isn't it.
– And again, thank you so much. – Thank you.
So very nice to see and get to know the youth in here.
Very impressive. The objective here was to impress you, but now I must say –
you've made such a big impression on me, that it doesn't even matter if I succeed at this task. – Right.
– Long life and all the best! – All the best to you. Bye bye!
Everyone behaved completely naturally and normally.
Nobody changed in any way.
Roni, did you feel like you were totally speaking the same language with Maija?
It was quite the search, actually.
– Yet you offered up the word "electric skateboard", regardless. – Well she did have a quite confused look on her face.
Jenni, was that the best you can do?
I might have misunderstood this task a little bit, but...
but she seemed impressed about this origami of mine.
– And you being from Tampere didn't impress her all that much. – No, strangely not.
– Minttu, you placed your bets on Jukka. Do you regret it now that you've seen this? – No.
I feel embarrassed on all of their behalves.
– What were the results? – Right, we can watch the results as presented by Maija herself.
(Roni:) Oh, that's good!
– Oh wow! – (Jenni:) Well this is exciting.
– Janne's fireworks. – What on earth?
It was the sentence in the end.
So the biggest impression was made by Janne.
Jenni in second place, Jukka and Roni in third place.
Minttu's guess, it was wrong.
Good, and let's hand out the scores from this so that Janne gets five points –
Jenni four points, Jukka and Roni three points each –
and Minttu gets... three points.
Pilvi, how are the total scores?
In the lead on the scoreboard just a tiny bit ahead of the others, is Janne Kataja. – Ah. But...
Now, I gotta say it would've been strange had I lost this round because if we look at –
the audience profiles of you all, I'm the only one whose –
viewers are somewhere around the 100 years old category.
– You were the only one who got recognised here. – Probably so.
We'll stay and think about this as we go on a little break now.
Welcome back to Taskmaster!
Tonight, the contestants have brought the most surprising photos of themselves as prizes.
Someone's gonna take them home after the broadcast.
But that's about it. It's time to move on to the next task.
– Howdy. – Howdy.
"Get into the sleeping bag and zip it up."
"Erect the tent without unzipping the sleeping bag."
"Fastest wins."
"Time starts when you zip up the sleeping bag."
So... Which one of them is the tent?
So, roughly speaking, the objective was to end up into the sleeping bag and erect the tent.
– Who's first? – First, let's see how Jenni and Roni did.
I've never erected a tent. This is gonna be quite interesting.
This is gonna be a hot task. Luckily I joined the scouts in the summer.
– This summer? – Yeah. Very well suited, this task. [*Fig. of speech "fits like a nose to a face"]
I mean it's already difficult without the sleeping bag.
(Zips up.) Right...
– Shut. – Time started.
Right...
Right.
Come on now.
Could I have taken the tent out here before getting into the sleeping bag? – It wasn't forbidden.
– Is it possible to start over? – The time is already running.
Yeah I know that!
I wasn't thinking at all.
(Huffs.) Oh come on!
– (equivalent of tutting) – But you erected it just like the scouts.
How do you erect a tent? I mean I've got no idea. What part is this?
Why am I wearing this, can't I just take this off? How do I know where to put these?
Helicopter. There you go.
What was this? What's this? Does it go here?
What am I doing? And where do you put those? And these, where should you put these?
Why doesn't it come with any instructions? I mean... Will I just put these here?
– How do they like, go in here? (Pilvi:) You can just shout "now" when you're ready.
What's the point of this then?
"Now"! (Sighs.)
– So how did it go? – Really good.
– The shelter, that's the way it's intended. – It looks just like the midsummer celebration of the Rauma sea. [*Pop/rock/Schlager festival, mostly Finnish]
I have to go now but I'll come back soon to check on you, you won't be left here alone but –
you'll be filmed constantly. – Okay. – It's wonderful that you're not... giving up.
– See you again! – See you!
Roni's performance seemed to go on for just a bit longer, so –
let's come back to it a little later.
Jenni, you constantly kept talking in question form there.
Were there any additional questions that kept perplexing you?
– Did I win? – We'll find out later.
– What was Jenni's result? – Jenni's time was 9 minutes and 40 seconds, but –
the tent was left with quite a bit of room for improvement.
Huh?
Jenni, it definitely wasn't finished. It looked like you were coming out of a sleeping bag.
– Whose performance will we watch next? – Let's see how Janne did.
Do I have to do these in this order? 'Cause they don't seem to cancel one another out, look.
"Erect the tent without unzipping the sleeping bag." I won't unzip it. The only thing I did was unfurl it.
But if I zip it up, I haven't even started, in a way. I haven't been inside.
– Time started. – Oh, right, good, right.
I zipped... Right. So...
Right, but actually I could've just been inside of the sleeping bag and kept it unzipped –
But on the other hand, now that I erect this and get into the bag and zip it up, that's when the time stops. That's the way it was, wasn't it.
Once as a young child I have slept in a tent. Once.
This one is the central beam*. [*Not a real word, but bears resemblance to "beam".] I look like a complete idiot now, but...
Nooo way... I mean this can't be right.
This is the one that goes, it's gonna be this rear fluttery thing.
I mean it's good enough for spending the night. I'll get in myself.
'Cause then again, it's not raining.
The modern people have to, like, have everything so down to a tee these days.
Here we go. Ehh...
So the tent has been erected and you're in the sleeping bag and it has been been zipped up?
– Yes. And soon I'll be in the tent as well. – Time.
Now I'm in the tent as well as in the sleeping bag. Oh this is quite nice, 'cause it's breathable.
And there's no stench of like, wet plastic.
– Well we can later speculate it in the studio, whether this tent was erected or not. – Just come over already.
Right.. Based on what we've seen so far, it would've been a hard enough task to just stand there and watch –
someone erecting a tent. And try not take off and run after a cyclist or something.
Janne, personally, how do you think it went?
Well I'm happy with it. I just wonder why you didn't show the end of the clip where the referee game was also carried out.
What happened in there?
Well, what happened in the tent stays in the tent.
But of course, if it didn't have the roof- well it did have the roof but not the rain shelter –
then probably some footage of it exists too.
It does. What was Janne's result?
Janne's time was 11 minutes and 41 seconds –
but I mean the tent wasn't quite that down to a tee was it.
– Janne. New experiences, if nothing else. – Right. Towards them.
What shall we do next?
Would you like to see how Roni is doing?
– Of course I would! – (Jenni:) Oh nooo!
(*35 minutes later...) Now... (inaudible) ...it over there...
...Into the ground.
That doesn't look like it's gonna be finished anytime soon so maybe we should just go for a little break.
We're yet to see the performances of Jukka and Minttu. See you soon!
Welcome back to Taskmaster!
Before the break we saw how Jenni and Janne tried to erect a tent and –
even Roni got quite far into his attempt.
Next, we have the performances of Minttu and Jukka which have been merged into a single clip.
– Good idea, starting to feel quite anxious about whether anyone at all is gonna be able to erect that tent. – Right.
Oh man, no idea...
– So the time starts when I zip up the bag, so can I erect the tent first? – Well it isn't forbidden.
In a way you should use your head with this one. Basically it's a bit tricky to erect if you're in the...
But I'm guessing that someone else has realised that too.
The last I've erected a tent was at Provinssirock in the 1900s. [*Big rock festival with int'l rockstars]
Has anyone gone into the sleeping bag first, and...?
The tent is just about... Oh, I think I'm starting to grasp how this works now!
It's rather gorgeous.
It's good enough for me. Time starts when I zip this up.
The tent might not be that pretty, but some time was saved. Finished!
Time. And time.
– Thank you! – Thanks.
My worm is a bit choppy. [*Literally said: expectorating]
– And you think that this tent is now finished? – It is as finished now as it's ever gonna be while I'm here.
Well I'm sure we'll talk more about this back in the studio then.
Well done!
Right then, now it seems like we've gone to a whole new level with these performances.
What were the official results? – The time of both, Minttu and Jukka, was 1 second.
Minttu's tent, there truly was some room for improvement there but Jukka's was just perfect wasn't it.
So Jukka was the one to carry out this task the most successfully.
Oh, right, of course, we should check on Roni!
Oh Roni, Roni.
(*58 minutes later...) – Roni... – Yeah?
– I think... this tent is now erected. – Oh?
Yeah, I'm fine with that. Very much fine with that.
(Pilvi:) Thank you.
– Can I take this off now? – Sure.
– I'm proud of you. – For once! Yay!
That didn't go too well!
– Roni, it's remarkable to see such joy and triumph after the performance.
Do you still have that feeling?
Well perhaps... the mood has changed a bit since. I really thought that I'd be the only one to succeed at this but... Apparently I wasn't.
Roni, it was extremely entertaining.
You could've watched that incessantly. Better than the conveyer belt of Prisma. [*Chain of huge supermarkets, streamed conveyer belt view as "slow TV"]
What was Roni's result?
Roni's result was –
35 minutes and 42 seconds.
And the tent didn't quite get finished but I was getting so bored of watching the performance that –
I had to cut it short and I thought maybe even you wouldn't have endured watching it.
But I would have!
It just got a little bit hot in there.
So the scores for this task are such that Jukka gets five points –
Minttu four points, Janne three points, Jenni two points –
and Roni gets one point.
Yay! Wasn't for nothing.
Look, Roni, it's not for tenacity or perseverance, it's because it was extremely entertaining to watch. – Yeah right fine.
– What are the total scores? – In the lead at the moment...
and quite rightfully as well: Janne. – Oh wow!
(Minttu:) Great! – Thank you.
Janne is in the lead, so... With excitement, we move on to the final task.
Contestants, brace yourselves.
Pilvi, what is the final task?
The final task requires a sense of rhythm and a particularly good internal clock.
Minttu, would you read the task aloud please.
"Beat the drum when exactly 60 seconds has elapsed."
"The winner is the person who hits closest to the 60 second mark."
"Bonus point for the most flamboyant walk to the drum."
"You can only remove the blindfold when you start walking towards the drum."
"Time starts from the Taskmaster's sign."
So the contestants have to sit blindfolded and estimate the passage of time.
60 seconds in, they have to go and beat the drum once.
– Let's put some masks on. – Are you ready?
Time... starts...
Now. – One Mississippi, two Mississippi...
(Jaakko:) It's quite difficult to estimate 60 seconds. Jukka is clearly counting, I wonder –
if he's just doing "one, two..."
He's probably somewhere around eight, nine, ten now...
Jenni is having a go at some kind of (orchestral) conductor tactic, so...
(Pilvi:) One Mississippi, two sisisipi... Three Mississippi...
(Jaakko:) Minttu is clearly going all out on that walk now, in hopes of a bonus point.
Roni is somewhere around 30. 31, 32, 33. – Oh will you stop it now I'm all confused!
(Pilvi:) Janne seems to have other things on his mind already, listening to some song. – He looks like he hasn't realised that the task has already started.
And Minttu has already done quite the journey there...
At least with Minttu it shouldn't be about the walk anymore. Jukka is somewhere around 50...
That was the first one.
And...
Okay, now Roni is on the move too, right...
I wonder if Janne already got the memo that the task has started?
Roni beat, Minttu beat.
Ow!
Jukka is somewhere... 52, 53, 54.
– Awesome!
Excellent performances and great walks. Pilvi let's check who did best.
Pilvi, who succeeded the best?
Closest to the 60 second mark with 54,14 came...
Jenni! – Hey! Yes!
– Jenni what tactic did you use? – I counted. Quite simply.
– It's a rather original method but uh. – How did you count?
– In my head. – Well it was very good indeed. How about the other results?
Well everyone exceeded the minute by 10 seconds but Jukka got the worst result:
One and a half minutes, and five seconds on top of that. – Yeah but I'm a bit slow like everyone's probably noticed.
No no, nobody's noticed that, Jukka.
Who had the most flamboyant walk? For that, I'll give the bonus point to...
Minttu.
But who won the entire contest tonight?
(Pilvi:) After all the tasks –
The highest score was accumulated by –
Janne Kataja.
– Thank you! – (Jaakko:) A fine performance! You can go and admire the surprising photographs that you just won!
(Jukka:) Unbelievable! – I'm a little bit jealous ...
Thanks to all the contestants and thanks to you at home!
This was Taskmaster.