(Vocal warm-ups:) Rrru. Rrru.
Wasn't the joke that this phone was supposed to endure anything?
It's a Finnish salutation.
I mean I could make a whole album in this time.
Very good evening to you! I am Jaakko Saariluoma —
and this is Taskmaster.
We warmly welcome you to join us to the culmination —
and highlight of this season, because today we'll find out which contestant has been the cleverest, the most skillful, —
and most of all, who joins the band of legends —
and wins this golden Taskmaster statue.
Our regular contestants are Riku Rantala, — [*Journalist, presenter, known esp. from early 2000s backpacking adventure show Madventures]
Jenni Pääskysaari, [*Radio/TV presenter, writer, journalist] Anna-Maija Tuokko. [*Actress; film / TV / stage]
Taxi!
Mikko Penttilä. [*Actor; comedy / improvisation]
And today, stirring things up with them —
is the musician Mikko Kuustonen.
And here next to me, last but definitely not least, —
is the show's backbone and bedrock, —
the official referee Pilvi Hämäläinen.
Thank you.
Pilvi, in the face of the final episode, how are you feeling?
Um well, I must admit that last night, I was so nervous about the upcoming finale that I could barely get any sleep.
I mean, not even though I must've had something like 13 caffeine pills.
Right, so at least someone is in the finale.* [*"To be in the finale" = slang: "to be completely exhausted".] – Yeah.
Excellent. Before we start, —
we've got a positive problem: We have two Mikkos.
I should decide how to handle this, —
so I thought, since I am a fan of spirituality and paradoxes...
So um, Kuustonen, you can be Big Mikko. – Thank you. – And Penttilä is Little Mikko.
Okay.
Good. And now, first off let's find out —
what we'll be competing for tonight. And as we do that, the first round of points is up for grabs.
Pilvi, can you just remind us of what this is about.
The prizes on this show consist of the contestans' personal belongings.
And this time, what you asked them to bring was...
The best thing to take onto a desert island.
The best thing onto a desert island. I think we'll start...
Riku Rantala.
Right. I'm quite familiar with desert islands,* and the worst thing, — [*Because of his travelling shows]
I mean, the worst thing there is of course the loneliness.
So did you bring in Tunna Milonoff? [*In the show Madventures, Tunna is the cameraman and Riku's only partner in crime.]
I did not.
I brought Wilson. [*Movie ref: Cast Away, from 2000]
The volleyball.
A ball is a good listener.
A very good listener. So it's like, the best desert island item.
So you'd rather talk to a ball than to Tunna Milonoff? – Absolutely.
I mean, of course.
Sending our regards to Tunna.
Thank you, Riku.
Anna-Maija, what did you bring?
Well, to a desert island, I of course would take —
a smoothie maker. – Uh-huh?
I think a capillary has just burst in my head.
I mean, have you really thought this through?
Um, Jaakko... – It's an electric smoothie maker.
Do you really think that if I got shipwrecked, —
that I'd get shipwrecked on some genuinely deserted island?
No. No. I intend to get shipwrecked —
onto a sort of five star abandoned resort —
that has like, at least solar panels —
and electricity because of that, so I can use some of those lovely mangos —
and, and... pineapples to make lovely smoothies in the morning —
before I go down to the swimming pool.
I don't think I can ask any further questions now. – There's nothing to ask, —
everything's already been explained.
Thank you, Anna-Maija.
Little Mikko. – Yo.
What did you bring? – I brought a portable DVD player.
And a DVD of my favourite show, —
which is the DVD Jaakko Saariluoma: Gone With The Wine.
Wow.
Wow. Wow!
Thank you. Um... I must ask the same question, —
have *you* thought this through? – Yes, I have charged the DVD player.
Its battery lasts for 2 to 4 hours.
I'll finally have the time to watch this, my favourite show.
Thanks for this, Mikko. – Thank you.
And next, Big Mikko.
What did you bring?
Uh, I brought Hota powder. (Laughter.) [*Painkiller produced between 1929-1998, banned as unsafe by the EU. Widely used in the 60s, contained a bit of amphetamine in the 50s. Named after a holy flower of an undisclosed Native American tribe.]
It's the only remaining bag. [*Painkiller produced between 1929-1998, banned as unsafe by the EU. Widely used in the 60s, contained a bit of amphetamine in the 50s. Named after a holy flower of an undisclosed Native American tribe.]
It contains 18 little portion sachets.
And I figured that it could take about a week or even two, and then a sort of —
vigorous raft building would start.* – Indeed. [*Not entirely sure if he means literally or not. But substances like this known to have been given to soldiers to avoid tiredness, so the contained stimulants just might make you desperately search for stuff to do.]
Thank you, Mikko. – Thank you. [*Not entirely sure if he means literally or not. But substances like this known to have been given to soldiers to avoid tiredness, so the contained stimulants just might make you desperately search for stuff to do.]
Big Mikko, Little Mikko... And next is Jenni.
What did you take onto a desert island? What's the best thing?
The situation is all about, like, survival, isn't it.
So I brought an item, —
which is responsible, I would dare to say, —
for the fact that most people in this studio have managed to stay alive in the first place.
So far.
I brought The Junior Woodchucks' Guidebook. – Wow!
(Jaakko:) Oh! This one's a classic. (Jenni:) Yes it is.
(Jaakko:) What in particular would you think is worth a mention?
Dada Urka.
Dada Urka? – Can you remember what Dada Urka is?
It's the cipher!
Look at that, knowers gonna know. – Yes.
Weren't they the dots and lines, was that it? – Yeah. The Dada Urka cipher.
What does it look like? – Well here's a little sample.
(Jaakko:) Oh yeah, I remember that now. (Pilvi:) I remember too.
What does it say? – Well this is —
a message from the future, in Dada Urka, it's a prophecy:
Jenni five points.
(Riku:) Oh, oh, oh! (Jaakko:) Ohh!
(Jaakko:) My, oh my.
Ahh, I'm not sure what to think of this.
I should be scoring these somehow.
I'll give Jenni 5 points now, as stated by the prophecy.
Because The Junior Woodchucks' Guidebook is so good.
Riku, 4 points.
Big Mikko 3.
And our electrical engineers who I bet don't know what an aggregate is, —
1 point.
And tonight's winner, —
*tonight's* winner, gets to keep all of these things.
You can take them on a getaway to a desert island.
So today, the winner of the entire season —
gets this, the noblest of all statues, the golden Taskmaster statue.
And now it's time to really set the ball rolling —
and head to the mansion to check out the first task.
(In colours of the Finnish flag:) FINLAND SUOMI [Suomi = Finland in Finnish.]
Good afternoon. – Hi.
Morituri te salutant. [*Latin: "Those who are about to die salute you."]
As a mortal I salute you, Pilvi Hämäläinen. [*Latin: "Those who are about to die salute you."]
"Make the most unusual thing out of this beanie."
"You have 10 minutes."
"The time starts now."
So the objective was to use the beanie —
to make something very unusual.
Excellent. I can hardly wait. Who's first?
Let's start with Anna-Maija, Little Mikko and Jenni.
The best ones.
Oh no... I mean, among these people, what could possibly be unusual?
Okay. Right. Off we go.
(Whispers:) Yeah.
Can you hold that if I just go get something?
The first thing that comes to mind is that I'd turn it into pants, but what could be —
unusual as well?
Markers.
No running with scissors.
I can just think of like, some flowers and other stuff. Oh, you're here too.
Now what I think I need for a finishing touch is, like, some kind of, like, masculine element.
It's a tribute to a certain famous um, —
movie scene. [*Translator: Not sure which, Finnish or otherwise.]
I really hope that it fits.
Is this a tail? – Well it's a sort of, nethertuftlet.* [*A completely made up word, sounds comical.]
Wanna try?
Sorry, excuse me, I'll just go and put them on.
Well this is how the six minutes are gonna be spent, but...
Oh my God, why am I doing this?
As an extra freebie, I think I'll use this to make a sort of, um...
(Pilvi:) Top?
Apple.
Look.
Finished!
It's got some elastic band, so... It might do a little crackle and pop.
Sorry, I wouldn't be able to move.
They are Suomi pants straight from the garden of Eden. [*Suomi = Finland in Finnish.]
Alright then. You're all set so vamos a la playa.
Oh my word. Little Mikko. (Someone:) Respect. (Riku:) That was great.
Little Mikko, uh... I'm gonna assume —
that we're now on our way to the Paris Fashion Week, —
so first, could you just explain what nethertuftlets are?
A nethertuflet is a whimsical...
whimsical addition that you can already see a lot of, if you go to beaches across Europe. – Right.
But you know, I have... That task got me so excited that I'd want to, like, focus on becoming a full time fashion designer.
In what way? – Well, I have designed this snazzy T-shirt. (Pilvi:) NO
Is that exactly what I think it is, a 15-year-old Pilvi Hämäläinen?
Or a 14-year-old. This piece is called:
"MOM, THIS ISN'T JUST SOME PHASE!"
How did I not notice that earlier?
Can you get over?
I might never.
Jenni, you also had some of those like, dangly things there, —
it slightly reminded me of The Hunchback of Notre Dame* when you were swinging them around. [*The Finnish name makes no reference to 'hunchback', it's just "The bell-ringer of Notre Dame, making you think of the ropes rather than what the bell-ringer himself looks like."]
So was it intentional that you included a sort of game with it? [*The Finnish name makes no reference to 'hunchback', it's just "The bell-ringer of Notre Dame, making you think of the ropes rather than what the bell-ringer himself looks like."]
Yeah, I mean it wasn't put there. It came with it.
Yeah, sure. But no one prevented you from cutting them off —
so you made a conscious choice to leave them on. – And I was quite subtle.
I mean, I used rather subtle gestures. Because I only cut two slits.
But I'm completely mind blown about Anna-Maija's Eden there.
You're right to.
It proves that the less comfortable the garment looks, the more fashionable it is.
Yeah. I know what you mean.
They were very stylish indeed. – Weren't they? What it had was, like, a stereotypical —
masculine element, I had added an axe.
And a ladle, it was the feminine element. (She got mixed up with words.)
And then in a way the garden was everything else.
Indeed, and everything happened in the garden of Eden. – Yes, let all the flowers bloom.* – Indeed. [*Proverb meaning "Everyone has the right to thrive regardless of differences."]
I'll assume that Rantala and Big Mikko have come up with something completely different.
We'll see about that after a short break.
Welcome back. Before the break, —
we saw how Anna-Maija, Little Mikko and Jenni —
turned a beanie into hotpants.
We're yet to discover what's in the thinking caps of Big Mikko and Riku.
I bet you want to to see their performances? – Immediately, please. – Right now.
It does actually match quite nicely. I've gone for this patriotic style anyway. [*His sweatshirt happens to be in the colours of the Finnish flag, by a well known Finnish outdoor/sport clothing brand.]
Bye! [*His sweatshirt happens to be in the colours of the Finnish flag, by a well known Finnish outdoor/sport clothing brand.]
Undies are already so last season and tassels just make you itchy.
It's not unusual to put it into my mouth.
It's not unusual to put it into my ars... Now, now.
Something what would be as unusual as possible. As unusual as possible
Yes there is. That's great. Are these movable?
Oh yeah! I know what I'm gonna do.
Cotton is quite the environmental threat.
Whoops. I wonder if this could be a start of something, if...?
If I turned this into a performance which was going to answer —
to the threat of the environmental crisis.
This um, immediately turned out looking like a Finnish skier.
Can you just look this way for a bit? Okay.
I just happened to spot the taskmaster's frequently used kitchen towel holder.
Hands. – You see a Finnish archipelago landscape.
And now you're about to see something completely different.
Well it's like, a sculpture in the image of Pilvi Hämäläinen, —
representing lot of strength, but also a certain sense of fragility because of the rope.
The light shines through the beanie —
and Suomi-Finland is present through your personality. [*Suomi = Finland in Finnish]
Done.
And here we go. [Dramatic, emotional soundtrack music.]
Think of the perishing planet.
The tassel is bubbling.
It must contain plastic.
There, symbolically, Finland gets charred.
But at the same time, so does the whole planet.
The performance has ended.
Big Mikko, I have to check that I saw correctly, I mean...
The objective was to put together, to make something unusual out of a beanie.
So you made an artistic sculpture of Pilvi and put the beanie on its head as an actual beanie.
Well yeah but the beanie there represents more than just beanieness.
What does it represent? – It represents, in a way, the universe.
...around Pilvi. – Riku Rantala, —
You decided to solve this by creating a performance, which was surprising.
I mean we haven't seen a lot of those from you during this season, have we.
Well... Yeah. But anyway I thought, since you were after —
something unusual, which is the opposite of ordinary, —
I'd present the most unusual thing.
I reckoned that since this is a feelgood show after all, a family show, so it would be good to stop and recognise this topic just for a moment.
Indeed. – The tassel was plastic.
It was plastic. Because it — how did you put it so well — was bubbling.
But so did this piece.
It bubbled impressively enough to deserve 5 points.
Big Mikko 4 points. – Yes!
And to everyone else, 3 points and probably a 3-year contract with Gucci, so...
Congratulations.
And Pilvi, what are the overall scores at the moment?
The one in the lead at the moment is Riku. – Wow.
But the game isn't over yet.
Let's get back to the mansion, there's more points to be had there.
Heyy. – Hello.
Well this is an interesting one. A good old cassette deck.
"Write lyrics to the Taskmaster theme music."
"The theme music is available to listen from the taskmaster's audio device."
"You have 15 minutes."
"The best lyric wins You may not use the words 'angel', 'fly', or 'dream'." [*Mikko's hit song translates to "Angels Fly Into Your Dreams".]
"The time starts now."
I'm not enjoying this production.
So the objective was to write lyrics to the Taskmaster theme music.
So we're looking forward to a release party, aren't we. – Yes.
Who's first? – Let's begin by watching what the creative process of our contestants was like.
(Taskmaster theme plays.)
Ah right it's this one, okay.
I can probably do some mixing a the same time. (He uses variable speed control to change pitch and tempo.)
Duh, duh-duh, duh...
You might have the slowest name in Finland, I just realised.
Because it's Hämäläinen and then the first name is Pilvi. [*Hämäläinen = of Ostrobothnia. (area in Finland). Stereotypical joke is that Ostrobothnians slow, calm and composed. Pilvi means 'cloud', but it's also slang for marihuana.]
What's...
Duh-duh, duh-duh, duh-duh, duh... I got all mixed up, I confused the whole thing with Matti and Teppo.* [* = A duo of Finnish schlager singers, now old men.]
Duh-duh-duh duh, and something like...
I can't change direction anymore, so I won't, I'll go with this.
You have 10 minutes left. – Yeah —
I mean I could make a whole album in this time.
What would be, like, a really, like, Karelian* style interjection? [*The small town where Pilvi is from is in North Karelia region. A lot of Finland's most famous folk tradition is based on Karelian imagery.]
"Whaaat the hell?" heyy I can't help you. – Ah you're right. [*The small town where Pilvi is from is in North Karelia region. A lot of Finland's most famous folk tradition is based on Karelian imagery.]
I can't get the ending right. Sorry, one more time. I completely messed it up.
Egg. Apple. Well, there's some artsy stuff.
Now I think I discovered the sort of, climax for the song.
...as you can see. Brrrr... Nervous.
Let's never talk about this again.
Anna-Maija, it probably won't come as a surprise that we'll definitely talk about this.
And a lot too, and my expectations are in the clouds.
Oooh, in me, you say? [*Pilvi means 'cloud'.]
Ah, no, I mean, it's just an expression. To have one's expectations high up in the clouds.
But um... Umm, where should we start?
Well, first off let's hear what kind of lyrics Jenni, Little Mikko and Riku wrote. (Jenni:) No, no...
As performed by them.
(Vocal warmups:) Rrru. Rrru.
(Sings:) B-listers — [*Literally: pointless celebrities]
doing tasks
Embarrassing themselves
Hunching their backs
Where am I
Are you there
Is this mine
Or yours after all
The Finnish nation is hungry for ingenuity again
Creativity and —
total embarrassment
A stern referee Pilvi is – or is she a drunk?
A festival of pillocks
It's taskmaster's fault
Anna-Maija, Mikko too, and
Riku Rantala will lose
when Jenni Pääskysaari
Shines the brightest
Jaakko is not
Here at least
What do I —
have to do now?
Pilvi sits there quietly maybe she's got an idea
Appleee...
Just give the (unclear) to me already thanks, thank you, bye
Pretty good.
Uh... Riku Rantala, Uh... So you're a person who actually writes?
Yeah, I was.
But have you considered the option of focusing more on the art direction role we saw just there, because —
that's a part you did really well. – A cucumber's always great.
I mean, I use cucumber often. – For what?
All sorts of things.
It makes an impression. – Little Mikko, you were asking where I am. I'm here.
But you weren't there at the time. (Jaakko:) Everything's alright.
Now everything is fine, but did you see the distress I was in?
I did. You could hear it in both, the lyric as well as the vocal style. – Yeah.
Jenni. You decided to declare yourself as the winner there. – Yeah...
I think I've already said the main points there.
And now I'll say...
I'll say one important thing now, which is —
that you guys probably shouldn't start making any calls, the record company calls you if they see fit.
But we're yet to see the performances of Anna-Maija and Big Mikko.
– Oh my. – And we're excited to see them —
and we'll still have to wait out the following advertisements. See you soon.
Welcome back, this is the finale of Taskmaster.
Before the break, we saw how —
Jenni, Little Mikko and Riku —
wrote lyrics to the Taskmaster theme tune. And that was really something.
Indeed. And next, we'll get to hear —
the lyrics of Anna-Maija and Big Mikko.
It has a short intro, right?
(Does a vocal warm-up.) Okay. It's quite low, isn't it. Okay here we go.
Taskmaster is —
Invincible
His speed is —
unbelievable
Who's gonna win this?
It's not easy
It makes no sense either
There's a lineup —
of a virtuous gang
Or not really! What we're aiming for
Victory! It's all they have
Taskmaster My hero
You're my everything
Taskmaster
Now it starts, stomp your feet, Everybody goes WHOA!
What the hell?
Sign there. Drop the dough on my account.
Anna-Maija, if we ever make a Taskmaster musical, —
can we count on you to be in it? – Yes, you can.
Because you also did a great job on the musical's chorus parts —
by shouting all sorts of things between the lines. – Wasn't it just?
Everything was in there. – Yeah. And most of all, the opening of a musical: Huuuu...
...Da da da... I had the, like, textbook musical... There's a face for musicals, —
that you do when you get on stage. And it's this:
– Big Mikko. – Yes. – Surely you've understood —
that there's gonna be none of the so-called "dough" coming your way?
I've understood that for a very long time.
But overall, impressive performances.
The scores for this will go as follows:
Anna-Maija 5 points. – Yes!
Big Mikko 4 points.
and everyone else, 3 points.
Great performances.
All in all. Multi-faceted, wonderful, impressive.
What are the scores at the moment?
On the scoreboard, in the lead at the moment is...
still Riku.
But the game is far from over.
And now, dear friends, we'll go —
to the mansion for the last time.
You've got a nice atmosphere going on here.
"Throw one of these Finnish items as far as possible."
"You may only choose one item." – "If you choose an item —
that no one else has chosen, you get an extra point."
"You have 5 minutes to do the task. The time starts now."
So the objective was to throw one —
Finnish item that was the table, as far as possible.
They got an extra point if they chose an item that no one else had chosen.
Wonderful. A classic task. Great one. I wonder who came up with it?
Well, doesn't matter. Who's first?
Let's start with the performances of Anna-Maija, Jenni, and both Mikkos.
Do I get several gos? Not just one try?
You have 5 minutes.
Well, on a quick estimate, um, the boot and... [*Before cell phones, Nokia manufactured various other goods, most famously, tyres and rubber boots. Nokian Footwear split into its own company in 1990.]
An old cell phone will obviously fly the furthest — [*Before cell phones, Nokia manufactured various other goods, most famously, tyres and rubber boots. Nokian Footwear split into its own company in 1990.]
but these other things have of course been thrown less.
May I attach extra weight to the items?
Do I get extra points if I wear these? [*Practical woven birchbark items such as containers, bags and shoes are a common traditional Finnish craft. Found esp. from cottages.]
But the problem is, is it obvious to everyone else too. [*Practical woven birchbark items such as containers, bags and shoes are a common traditional Finnish craft. Found esp. from cottages.]
And because of that, no one picks it. [*Practical woven birchbark items such as containers, bags and shoes are a common traditional Finnish craft, found esp. from cottages.]
I'm picking this after all. Just a moment, can I go get a stick? [*Bath broom is a bundle of birch branches used to beat skin (esp. the back) in the sauna. It gets rid of dead skin cells, improves circulation, and distracts you from the heat. The branches are freshly picked from your own lands, while dried ones stored for winter or sales have to be revived with water.]
What do you reckon, would.... this be, like, alright? [*Bath broom is a bundle of birch branches used to beat skin (esp. the back) in the sauna. It gets rid of dead skin cells, improves circulation, and distracts you from the heat. The branches are freshly picked from your own lands, while dried ones stored for winter or sales have to be revived with water.]
Stick, stick...
We'll just perform a quick installation.
It's a Finnish salutation.
I'll trust raw power, take a risk, and choose the phone.
And how many attempts? – You have 5 minutes all in all. – Nice.
Yah!
I'll have a go now.
2 minutes left. – Yeah.
Here we go.
Yeah!
I've warmed up now. And now I'll sprain an arm.
I'll build up some speed.
(Roar echoes in the landscape.)
Just like on my gigs.
Aaagh!
(Pilvi mimicks the Nokia Tune ringtone.)
Now do it again, 1-2-3-go!
(To the tune:) What the heck, it's someone calling I won't pick that up!
So the items they had available were a rubber boot, —
a cell phone, tuokkonen*, and a bath broom. [*Birch bark tray]
Out of which, the phone was chosen by —
Little Mikko, Anna-Maija and Jenni.
Well, how am I not surprised, that...
It's a bit like, it was the same threesome who came up with the idea that you could turn a beanie into hotpants.
Somehow everyone chose the cell phone. How original.
Tuokko, you had the option of picking a tuokkonen.* [*Birch bark tray]
I did. – But you ended up with the cell phone anyway.
Well yeah, because I thought that it's, just like Mikko thought, um, —
that it's so obvious that the others wouldn't pick it so I decided to take the risk, but...
Was it worth it? – It was not worth it. This time.
What were the results? – Anna-Maija's throw:
17 metres and 68 centimetres. [*58 feet]
Jenni's throw: 22 metres and 62 centimetres. [*Over 74 feet]
Little Mikko: 33 metres and 43 centimetres. [*Under 110 feet]
And Big Mikko: An impressive...
11 metres. [*36 feet]
Those were quite some results.
What still remains is Riku and his result.
But I think we'll go for a break at this point. That's what we'll do.
Let's wait for it, see you in a bit.
Welcome back to the final episode of Taskmaster.
Before the break, we saw how Anna-Maija, Jenni and Mikkos, the Big and Small one, —
tried to throw a Finnish item as far as they could.
Their performances were quite entertaining.
We're yet to see Riku's performance. – And we'll see his performance now.
Can I throw it multiple times?
You have 5 minutes for the task.
I choose the Nokia phone.
Oops!
Wasn't the joke that this was supposed to endure anything? [*Internet meme: Dropping a Nokia 3310 breaks the floor, not the phone]
Nokia phone. Well...
(Riku laughs.)
This was the end of this Nokia. It wasn't tough enough after all.
Us Finns, we always think too highly of ourselves.
And here we go again.
Aargh!
Yes! Almost made it. These are tight minutes.
For God's sake.
Do you see, Pilvi Hämäläinen, that I'm trying to keep it in one piece.
Two minutes left. – Well I could keep throwing it all the way to the city centre.
No!
Argh!
It came apart mid-air! – 30 seconds.
Well let's not sweat the small stuff anymore.
Arrrgh! And...
10 seconds! – Arrgh!
Time's up! – Ah!
That was some Seppo Räty spirit, was it not? [*Finnish javelin thrower, Olympic medalist, World Champion]
Yes.
Riku was definitely taking the Finnish mobile industry forward there.
So you had 5 minutes for throwing, and you used all of it.
I thought I just had to use it because um, we've got some really good throwers here, and um —
you should always go all the way.
Indeed. They were focused on throwing, not on thinking.
What was Riku's result?
Riku threw the cell phone for 350 metres. [*Under 1150 feet)
So Riku, by throwing*, you'll get 5 points for this. [*"By throwing" = fig. of speech, meaning: easily / with barely any effort / on the first attempt.]
And to the others of course, according to the result they got.
And one extra point to Big Mikko —
because you were the only one who chose the bath broom.
Wohoo!
And you bravely threw it regardless of the wind blowing against you. [*PAUSE TO READ: Finnish language pun. The word 'against' (or 'contrary'), while unrelated, happens to contain the word 'vasta' which is one of the names for a bath broom. The pun is that the word could be interpreted as a highly novel but grammatically correct (non-dictionary) adjective "littered with vastas".]
Did I say against? I meant to say 'vihtainen'.* [*PAUSE TO READ AGAIN: Finnish language pun continues. 'Vihta' is another name for a bath broom. Jaakko replaces 'vasta' from the word 'against' with its synonym 'vihta', ending up with a made up nonsense word that doesn't have any preexisting meanings. But it's grammatically correct "littered with bath brooms".]
Anyway, Pilvi, how's the scoreboard?
In the lead on the scoreboard: Riku.
We're close now.
Yes we are. – Great.
Okay. The excitement is building up and the final task is near.
Or —
does taskmaster have anything else to say about this?
Well there's one thing, just a small one. You know how on this show, you get rewarded for noticing the small things.
And dear regular contestants, —
I left something to the mansion —
before the first task begun.
And I believe we left a camera running in the mansion.
Indeed, I left —
this letter into the shed.
And it sat there through all of your visits.
Pilvi, could you read what it says, please?
"You've found the taskmaster's secret letter."
"The finder of this letter gets 20 extra points." – Ahhh...
But look, I value your honesty —
and the fact that the competition is gonna be solved in a straightforward manner through rivalry.
Now, it's time for the final task.
Pilvi, will you just remind us what the final task is?
The final task requires animalistic creativity.
Big Mikko, please read the task aloud.
"Come up with, and name, a new animal species —
according to the features described by the taskmaster."
"Draw your made up animal onto the board using your non-dominant hand."
"You have 60 seconds."
"5 points for the best drawing."
Good. Are you ready?
So the time starts from my mark.
Take out the drawing kits. The definition —
for the animal in question is as follows:
The animal has three legs, —
it's got a perplexing case of body hair, —
and it can only procreate in Tampere.* [*Largest city outside of the capital city area.]
The time starts now.
Time.
Good. It's time to have a look at your drawings and hear out your explanations —
about these new species. But before that, —
hand the boards to the person on your left side. And Jenni takes hers to Riku.
Good. And now.
You have 30 seconds to explain.
Riku, please go ahead. Reveal it, and...
So, by its latin name, it's known as syphilis vulgaris. [*PAUSE: Drawing: "Hello babe" in Tampere dialect. On the left, the city's most distinguishable landmark, the Näsinneula observation tower.]
So by its Finnish name, of course known as —
(Pronouncing like a Tamperean:) Balibababa näsinneulanen. [*Either unclear or nonsense, except for the second part which means "little Näsinneula" or "Näsi pine needle".]
And it can't procreate outside of Tampere, because —
(With a thick and playful Tampere dialect:) I mean hi there, said the handsome ones to each other. You know me!
Thanks, Riku.
And next, Big Mikko, please go ahead.
Okay. This is... [*Drawing supposedly features the same tower landmark.]
The Beelzebub of Tesoma.* [*District in Tampere]
A really rare fellow in the sense that we've only encountered three individuals so far.
They've all been, I mean, they've been spotted in Lihasula.* [*Tiny village next to Tampere, literally means "meat thaw".] And um —
umm, the way the procreation issue has been solved is —
that it can only give birth… (dialect:) …against the kerb.* [*A word for kerb (US curb) that's only used in Tampere. Tampere dialect has a distinct sounding R, which Mikko really got to use now.]
Thank you.
Next is Anna-Maija.
Could you turn it around and tell us... Yeah, go ahead please.
This is... Uhh...
Go ahead. – Known by its latin name —
Akus anas kukus.* [*nonsense]
An unusual species of rabbit known as —
(She says half a word, based on how Tampereans say 'hello')
Don't be shy. – Hello... Hellotanger.
Hellotanger.
Uhh from Tampere, I mean in Tampere only do you encounter this —
animal in question.
The three legs...
Uh, but the happy face is a sign of its origin, and...
And the three legs can be seen there, there, and one more hidden in the back.
They're the upper feet. – Upper feet. Oh they're upper feet?
Ah! Ah.
I think 30 seconds have elapsed many times over now.
Yes it has.
Thank you.
What else did I have to say about it?
I don't know, but it's amazing that during a 30 second explanation —
you could still take so many long, creative breaks.
And now Little Mikko, go ahead please.
So this is uh... This is a nethertuftlet leech.
So you can find these from the sludge container of a certain textile factory in Tampere. [*Well known textile factory.]
And so um... The perplexing body hair and legs —
are used for making popular nethertuftlets for Suomi beanies, you know those.
Thank you. – Yeah.
Thank you. And the last one, Jenni, go ahead.
You may know of a pest called... – Turn it around.
Yeah, in a moment. You know the pest, common furniture beetle. So...
(In Tampere dialect:) So this is a Manse beetle. [*PAUSE: Manse = Pet name for Tampere, used by Tampereans. It's a riff on Manchester, because supposedly like Manchester in the UK, Tampere is historically an industrial town, with plenty of red brick buildings left, now often repurposed as industrial style apartments or business spaces.]
(Dialect:) It buzzes around in the bars.
(Dialect:) Can be found there.
(Dialect:) Buzzes around in the rock bars, trying to procreate. [*Tampere = rock and metal capital of Finland.]
(Dialect:) But can't. [*Tampere = rock and metal capital of Finland.]
(Dialect:) I mean it just can't.
(Dialect:) It absolutely just can't find a female.
(Dialect:) That's why it's so cross.
(Dialect:) And really dangerous.
(Anna-Maija:) Oh my word.
Thank you. It would be interesting to see, had the description said —
that it could only procreate in Turku. Would everyone have spoken Turku dialect then, but... [*Another major urban area with a distinct way of speaking.]
Thanks everyone. – Thank you.
And once more, dear friends, thank you for these explanations —
and wonderful drawings.
As I said, the best drawing gets 5 points.
And that goes to Little Mikko.
After that, the points —
for the wonderful and imaginative explanations go as follows:
Big Mikko, Little Mikko and Jenni 5 points, —
Riku 4 points, and Anna-Maija with the pauses, 3 points.
And now the important question. The second most important question.
Who won this episode?
The highest score in this episode was accumulated —
by two people:
Little Mikko and Riku.
Congratulations.
Congratulations, it's an even score. You can fight about those items amongst yourselves.
But now... (Riku:) Wilson's mine!
I can tell that everyone is waiting for just one thing:
Which one of our regular contestants managed to accumulate —
the highest score during this season. Who gets to come and take this, —
the finest, noblest and most beautiful one of all the prizes, —
the golden Taskmaster statue?
The one to accumulate the highest score during this season was...
Riku Rantala!
Congratulations Riku, come and get your prize!
Congratulations to the winner!
Riku Rantala won the golden Taskmaster statue —
and joined the legends.
Thank you, dear viewers. It was great to have you with us.
This was Taskmaster. Bye then!
Suurmestari!