Yess.
Oh! So cold!
Good evening, and welcome to come and see how comedians compete against each other by carrying out some truly weird tasks.
I on the other hand will score the performances based on strict analysis, thorough consideration, but mainly, my own feelings.
I am Jaakko Saariluoma and this is Taskmaster.
Our regular contestants are:
Eija Vilpas — [Actress, screenwriter, drama teacher]
Pirjo Heikkilä — [Comedian, actress, screenwriter]
Kalle Lamberg — [Comedian, actor, art director of a theater]
Fathi Ahmed — [Comedian]
And tonight, competing with them is the one and only Jukka Rasila! [Actor, known from comedies]
And here next to me is the show's very foundation, —
the beacon of directives, the official referee, Pilvi Hämäläinen.
(Eija:) Go Pilvi! (Pilvi:) Thank you.
Pilvi, how have the contestants prepared for this, or what kind of packed lunch* have they ventured out with? [*"Packed lunch" = figure of speech meaning the assets and resources that one has for a starting point.]
– What kind of packed lunch. (Jaakko:) Yeah. – Weeelll.. Let's just say that one of them forgot to take their packed lunch as they left home, — [*"Packed lunch" = figure of speech meaning the assets and resources that one has for a starting point.]
one of them turned out to just have a half-eaten sandwich, —
and the rest, I guess, were mostly confused about what they had ended up cooking.
Right. Doesn't sound too convincing but let's say that I am looking forward to what's coming.
Well let's begin then. For starters, let's find out what we'll be competing for tonight.
And as we do, the first round of points are up for grabs. Pilvi, could you just remind us, what's this about?
The show's prizes consist of the contestants' personal property, —
and this time, what you asked them to bring in was...
the most head-turning grey thing. [*As in: something that just won't go unnoticed]
That's the one. The most head-turning grey thing. [*As in: something that just won't go unnoticed]
And what an ingenious task, once again. Where do we start?
Let's start with Fathi.
Fathi brought in a frying pan because if you walk on the street with a frying pan in your hand —
it will definitely turn some heads.
(Pilvi:) And to Eija, who's brought in a megaphone.
There's probably no need to explain why Eija and a megaphone would be a head-turning combination.
(Pilvi:) And Pirjo has brought in a grey vest because, —
according to her, if you wear nothing but a vest, people will stop and stare.
Or at least that's how it went last Friday.
Jukka brought in his Italian Greyhound, Tino. Here's a photo of him.
According to Jukka, Tino constantly wants attention and scratches. I can relate.
And lastly, Kalle. Kalle thinks that the most head-turning grey thing is his mother.
And here she is.
Kalle... You brought in your own mother. – Yup.
You... You brought your own mother as a prize item for this.
A prize thing.
(Jaakko:) A prize thing, right. Umm, why didn't you just bring a photograph?
Umm, well, in my youth, I've lived under the same roof with her for 18 years, —
so I know that if someone wins her, it'll be about two weeks and she'll be returned.
Thank you. Thank you. The scores will go as follows:
Kalle, 5 points.
Pirjo and Eija, 4 points.
And Jukka and Fathi, 3 points.
So the first round of points have been given.
And remember, regular contestants: at the end of the season, one of you will win this coveted golden Taskmaster statue.
And now, dear friends, it's time to set the ball rolling and go to the mansion to check out the first task.
Hi, Pilvi.
Let's give it a read. – "Make yourself get goosebumps. Show the goosebumpy skin to Pilvi."
"Pilvi will not leave this room during the task." – "Fastest wins. The time starts now."
So the task objective was to get goosebumps on their own skin, as quickly as possible.
Well now I'm excited. I'm so excited to see these. Who's first?
First, let's see how Kalle and Fathi did.
Idris Elba, Idris Elba, Idris Elba...
I'll have to get myself to... – Do you have anything woolen?
So this is the kind of stuff that gives you goosebumps, huh?
Apparently not.
What gives me goosebumps?
(Screeches fork against plate.) No.
(Fathi:) Kombucha.
Oh now we're talking! Ha, my old friend!
Freezer, what's up man?
(Pilvi:) Hi. – Hi.
And nothing!
Brrr... (Fathi:) Cold!
Haaaa!
I don't actually... Now that I think of it, my skin doesn't get goosebumps, at all.
And there.
(incomplete) ...I would get goosebumps. I mean some Adele song has managed to done that.
But now I'm not, I have a feeling that this won't, like, get any better than this.
What says the referee? – We'll talk about it in the studio.
Thank you, Fathi.
Fathi. Which one did you believe in more, —
the idea that you grind your back against Pilvi, or the idea that you put your feet into an ice hole*. Or, one of those... (Fathi:) Ice bucket. (Jaakko:) ...juice jug with ice cubes in it? [*Ice hole, as in a hole made into lake/sea ice so people can dip into the water for a quick winter swim.]
Well I thought Pilvi would've done the trick, she's from Lieksa* after all, and they're quite frigid* people out there. [*Lieksa = tiny village in Finnish North-Karelia.] [*Frigid, not sexually, but as in intimidatingly stiff and stoic]
But I assume that it didn't work. (Fathi:) No. [*Lieksa = tiny village in Finnish North-Karelia.] [*Frigid, not sexually, but as in intimidatingly stiff and stoic]
Kalle, did I just see you biting something like, an oven mitt there? – Yes.
Hasn't that phase already passed in your childhood though? – Yeah it has, because back then, I always got goosebumps if I had to bite some wool.
So I tried everything but there was like nothing, not even like, outside of your mansion, there aren't even any sheep.
I was so ready to bite just any wool. Yet nothing woolen to be found anywhere.
No. And then you got yourself some ice. (Kalle:) Then I got ice. – How do you think that worked for you?
Very badly. I mean I didn't know that it could even work out so badly.
What are the results, Pilvi?
Um, Kalle quite weakly got goosebumps on his skin in 7 minutes 48 seconds.
And Fathi got goosebumps to show slightly better in 5 minutes 4 seconds.
Although the quality of both goosebumps was weak, to say the least.
Oh my.
No steak from your chicken meat this time.* [*Goosebumps in Finnish is literally 'chicken meat'] [*While unusual, 'steak' might be used like 'beef', as in 'the main content of a matter']
So those were the performances of Kalle and Fathi. We're still about to see those of Jukka, Pirjo, and Eija, and we'll see them after the following break. [*Goosebumps in Finnish is literally 'chicken meat'] [*While unusual, 'steak' might be used like 'beef', as in 'the main content of a matter']
Welcome back. Before the break, we saw how Kalle and Fathi –
just about got their skins to display goosebumps.
We still haven't seen how Jukka, Eija and Pirjo did.
And we'll see the performances of the threesome in question, now.
Brrrrrrr!
Here we go. Huh! (Blows.) That won't work.
This is always, if this is made of metal, I'll bite on it and get goosebumps.
I'm disgusted but it's not happening.
Ew, let's say there's a corpse or something. Ew, ew, ew, ew...
Did I get any ? No. – You know um, I guess I'm off then.
Ooooo, oooo, look at that. There's clearly some. – Can you try to spook me a little bit?
Right.
They're cold, they're from the fridge. And now I'll try to, like, just wing it on the first try.
Boo! – Wow! Look. Did it work?
Brrrr, how can it be so cold in here? Brrr...
I don't think they're cold enough.
Boo!
When I was a little, there was this thing with a chalkboard, where... Chalkboard!
Is there... Where can I find a chalkboard?
Was there a chalkboard somewhere?
What could make the kind of noise that's like, so irritating that it makes you get goosebumps?
[Typing:] "Disgusting worms". – Let's just start out from... just from something quick and radical. If this would do it, for example.
Ew, so fucking gross, there's some kind of worms coming from that dog.
Ew ew ew ew ew ew... Look at my skin, keep your eyes at my skin. Look, keep looking at it. Ew!
I thought, if I could make it happen with a little bit of pain. As you can see, there will be some hair left on this.
Ouch. – Ouch indeed. (Eija clattering out of cold.)
Okay, that's enough for me. – Thank you, Eija.
Thank you, Pilvi.
1-2-3, go!
So terrible. – So terrible, this is so terrible. Won't they emerge now?
Oh, this tingles rather nicely, actually. Can you just do some of that to the back of my neck, so...?
(Jukka:) Ooh! The back of my neck gets goosebumps. – There's goosebumps in here.
Yes! Woohoo! Ha ha ha!
Didn't get the arm, but got back of the neck. Look. Now there's the arm too.
Thank you, Jukka. – There's strength in collaboration.
Didn't work. – Boo! – Ah! Good! Good, Pilvi!
Is there some in there? – I reckon there's one.
Pirjo, what's one goosebump like? When there's like, one goosebump on your skin? [*Literally: "one chicken meat"]
Here. Like this. (Jaakko:) Is the size a bit exaggerated perhaps?
Because we couldn't see it in the footage.
Oh. Well, but Pilvi knows what it looked like. We know... what it looked like.
Yeah, you have a connection, in that sense. Yes. Eija. (Eija:) Do tell.
You had this like, uh, acting based approach to this, you just decided to start freezing.
Yes indeed. That was the thing. And just now I remembered something: why didn't I do the old trick where... Because normally I genuinely get goosebumps very quickly —
if I rub my hair against wallpaper.
It's true!
Aah! – If I'll just be your wallpaper, like this.
So now you can lean back. – Aah!
Yeah. But I didn't remember it then and... For some reason I didn't think of using props and tools like it had occurred to the others.
Great. Jukka.
I was watching that and um, a bottle of Tabasco in your mouth, a Brazilian wax with some tape, —
and your glasses dented from biting marks. Was this like, your way of completing a task or just a description of what happened last weekend?
This was a bit of both. So I took everything I could get, whatever I remembered had caused me goosebumps before.
I mean the easiest thing to do is to just stare and get into the zone with imagery, like Eija did. She got into it.
But that's too s- that would've been too simple. – Yeah it was a childishly simple thing to do.
What were the results?
Well, Eija's rather unclear goosebump outcome was achieved in 2 minutes and 25 seconds. – Oh wow!
Jukka's time was 8 minutes and 9 seconds.
But very clear!
And Pirjo's... Pirjo's time: 19 minutes and 55 seconds. And indeed...
The only person with perfectly obvious goosebumps was Jukka. (Kalle:) Yeah! (Eija:) Congratulations.
Merely hearing the amount of time that Pirjo spent trying to do that task gave me the chills.
As for the scores, besides the completion time, the quality of the bumps also count. [Lit.: "Quality of meat"] The quality of the goosebumps.
So Jukka, 5 points.
Fathi, 2 points. And everyone else, 1 point. (Kalle:) Well alright. I'll take it.
(Eija:) We'll take it, we'll take it. – Pilvi, how are the total scores at the moment, who's in the lead?
The one in the lead at the moment is... Jukka.
Ha! (Jukka:) Just one goosebump ahead. – Yeah.
(Jaakko:) Yes indeed. Let's head to the mansion and tackle the next task.
Right, just gonna open it then.
"Make an alarm system for the taskmaster's mansion."
"You've got 15 minutes, after which Pilvi will try to get into the mansion unnoticed."
"The best system wins. The time... starts... now."
So the task was to build an alarm system for the mansion and have its effectiveness tested by me.
They had 15 minutes to devise the alarm system.
Right, that was it, I remember it now. I didn't get a satisfactory result from the previous bidding competition so I... came up with this.
Who's first? – First, let's see what kind of systems Eija, Fathi and Pirjo devised.
"The time starts now."
Let's pay a visit to that shed. – I have to come up with a system that's somehow sound related.
From this...
I need a bucket.
Is this loud enough?
I'll attach this here.
Oh this is going to make heck of a racket.
I'm going to be very surprised if this doesn't get top scores.
Now we'll just put away these miscellanies and go wait for the bandit.
Right then.
This setup looks so complicated, I reckon it might be quite difficult to... I don't think I'll risk that now.
I don't think there's anything on the first door.
I'll get some idea of what's in the...
[Windchime chimes.]
Oh no. I'll leave that. It was a mistake to try that.
I didn't realise that wind chimes would be so sensitive. I'll go in from the...
...Any way to remove this, no...
And boom! Baby's in da house!
You should always try the back door first —
because they're often unlocked.
It looks as if there's nothing here. I'll enter from the other side.
It looks too easy.
This too looks like there's nothing there.
I see.
I just can't see what's in... Oh I see, there's a bowling pin.
I think I'm sort of more keen on entering through this particular door.
I'll take the risk. And even though I can't properly see what's in there, I'll open this door now.
FFU...!! Aaah!
Pirjo. You had a ping pong ball, a bowling pin, and a tambourine there.
You reckon that you can use the stuff found from any after school club to build an alarm system?
Yeah, it was like, a musical alarm system. You can tell that I was on music classes.* [*In Finland, some primary schools have classes with an education plan that has emphasis on a special interest such as music, math, or sports.]
Yes. And it was really clever that the pin fell onto the tambourine. [*In Finland, some primary schools have classes with an education plan that has emphasis on a special interest such as music, math, or sports.]
– Wasn't it? – Indeed. – Wasn't it just? – And are you personally happy with that? – I'm very happy with that.
Fathi. The classic water bucket trap was titillating, but this time it didn't work, did it.
Yeah, I mean somehow immediately I just went, like, violence first.
And it's not always a very good idea. Not always. – Right. Not always.
Because Pilvi, as we saw, she's masterful at testing those things.
She's become... By the way, there we can really observe how she went in. You can really tell what she's been up to in her youth back in Lieksa. [*Lieksa = Small village where Pilvi is from]
Eija. (Eija:) Yes? – Just there, you said that you'd be very surprised if this doesn't get you top scores.
So Eija, is it time for miracles now?
Yes it is. – We still haven't seen the systems of Jukka and Kalle.
You three were okay. But let's see what Jukka and Kalle came up with.
But let's watch those only after the following break. See you soon.
Welcome back! Before the break, we saw what kind of alarm systems —
Pirjo, Fathi and Eija had devised.
And we're yet to see the masterful... Or let's see if they are masterful... Let's see, let's see.
But the expectations are high. The alarm systems of Jukka and Kalle.
And next, we'll see how functional both of these alarm systems were.
Ha! This would be fun wouldn't it. A classic, a classic.
I'm getting quite excited! I'm gonna start selling alarm systems in Southwest Finland.
Okay. – I'll put this up there with tape.
What I'm gonna use here is a classic one.
Works. Now if I wanted to be really nasty, —
what I would do is that I'd leave this just slightly open and place this over here as well.
Tons of glass onto the floor.
For safety reasons, I'll take this down though.
But I'll leave it there, as a warning to Pilvi.
Just a little bit there, and there.
Lamberg the Slime Cannon. What a terrible name!
That's perfect! – Happy with that. Now we'll just wait for Pilvi.
This is safe. There's... two bowling pins in there.
I can see a tambourine with some string hanging from it.
I don't think I'll dare to touch this door. Let's see how the other door looks.
I'll just go in then. I don't see any...
Ahhh... There's that pot leaning just quite... I don't dare to touch this one at all.
So both sides have...
Would I dare, could I...
You made some noise! Security Lamberg!
Ow! Ow!
Security Lamberg? – Yes.
What kind of market do you think there would be for one of those Security Lambergs?
Well, it would be sold to the highest bidder because there's only one of me.
And now I'm in your mansion, so...
(Jukka:) There's already a Security Lamberg school in Southwestern Finland. – Yeah.
Jukka. I'm glad that you thought of the physical safety of our dear Pilvi —
but you just left the bowling pin in there and said that it was there "as a warning to Pilvi".
How does a bowling pin on the floor warn someone?
Well, did she dare to enter through that door? No!
The scores will go as follows:
Pirjo 5 points. – Oh wow.
Jukka and Kalle 4 points.
Eija 3 points and Fathi 2 points.
And I'll dock one point from Kalle because I don't think Security Lamberg could be in service 24/7.
Do you know how many relatives I have?
Sure, but you don't intimidate me.
So those were the scores for this fine alarm system task. Dear contestants, we've still got plenty of points to give.
Let's head straight to the mansion to check out the next task.
"Make a sailing boat for a rubber duck."
"You have 5 minutes. The best sailing boat wins. The time starts now."
So the objective was to make a sailing boat for a rubber duck in 5 minutes.
If anything, I'm particularly happy with this task, —
because it's a sort of feel-good* task, isn't it. Who's first? [*In Finnish, 'feel-good' is literally 'good wind', making it a sailboat pun.]
First, let's see how the initial boat designing phase went for everybody. – Good. [*In Finnish, 'feel-good' is literally 'good wind', making it a sailboat pun.]
Oh my. A sailboat!
What does a sailboat consist of? I'm clueless about boats.
What? – This is quite... duck coloured.
So it needs a sail, doesn't it. – A bark boat* is always... [*Oldschool children's outdoor activity: Carving a boat out of tree bark, with a stick and a leaf for the sail.]
This would at least make a great sail. [*Oldschool children's outdoor activity: Carving a boat out of tree bark, with a stick and a leaf for the sail.]
This won't be any good for a bark boat. Nope.
No way. Look at this. Aren't they usually made out of this stuff?
This is what a sail is like, isn't it.
My sailboat can't withstand wind.
What's all this about? Well...
It's stuck on the table now.
[Honks horn.] For some reason, that signaling noise is extremely important to me now.
You've got 30 seconds left.
I'm finished!
Time's up. – There we go.
(Pilvi:) Time's up. – Alright.
I'd say pretty good. – So you're done? – I'm done.
You still have 2 minutes left.
Okay. Well, I could use that time to return to the mansion by hopping on one leg, couldn't I.
Goodbye! – Thank you.
Great stuff. Jukka, when you said that you'd hop on one leg to return to the mansion, how happy were you about the fact that the shed wasn't any further than that?
I mean do I hop very, very, very long distances on one leg.
(Jaakko:) Sparing your shoes from wear, or what? – No, it's just a part of a training program. – I see.
But I just have to say now: as I built that sailboat, I built it as a decorative item.
Oh right, so you're kind of cushioning the steps before we've even seen how it works in practice.
Okay, I guess I know what to expect now.
At this point I can say that it did look like a decorative item, if somebody considers that thing to be one.
Eija, a triangle [*percussion instrument] sail? – Yeah.
What's a triangle sail? – It's the current state... state of the art thing now...
We're going towards that design even in competitions and stuff, so...
You should try that next summer.
There's a lot of things one should try but not this one. [*A familiar ring with a Finnish saying "You should try everything once, except for incest and folk dances."]
Fathi, I heard that you somehow had a problem with the idea of making a boat for a duck.
Yeah but I mean, halfway through the process, I think I started crying or something. (Jaakko:) Yeah.
It was somehow really tough, so I just like, became scared. (Jaakko:) What was it about it?
Well... I don't really... I mean... (Jaakko:) Can't you build a sailboat for a duck?
Well, it can already swim, can't it. (Pirjo:) Aaah, true! (Jaakko:) Sure.
But considering the way how guys have carried out these tasks before, I had to go with something that would float even if the boat sunk.
So I went with the duck. – I see.
Pirjo, uhh... When people see this, you can be absolutely sure —
that you won't be asked to renovate a house.
Sure. But... (Jaakko:) You had the panels attached to the table there, and... – Right.
Yeah because wood floats.
(Fathi:) And the duck. (Pirjo:) And the duck too, so their combined escape force* is... in that case... [*Nonsense word, somewhat mixing up centrifugal force]
(Jaakko:) Now I'd sure like to know what "combined escape force" is. [*Nonsense word, somewhat mixing up centrifugal force]
It's when, if there's escape force... And then you have two things that each have escape force, so the combined escape force would...
(Jukka:) They've been forced together with a nail. There's an escape force there.
I think my head is starting to hurt now.
It's just the mold here, not the banter.
Pilvi, help me, where do we go from here?
Should we just take a break? – Let's take a break. Let's take a little break at this point!
Welcome back. Before the small break —
we saw what kind of sailboats our constants had built for a rubber duck.
And now, we'll move on to footage from the test zone —
and see what happens when the boats of Eija, Fathi and Pirjo get launched.
Pilvi, could you give us a quick recap on what we just saw? Like, in a technical sense.
So Fathi's vessel did stay afloat —
but the aerodynamic features of the sail and the strength of the mast were both weakish.
(Fathi:) Oh? (Jaakko laughs.)
The helmet hull on Eija's sailboat kept the water out well —
and the vessel stayed afloat, albeit somewhat erratically.
And Pirjo's bark boat sunk straight away.
I think it was afloat for two seconds.
Eija, did your triangle sail look as unstable to you as it did to everyone else?
Oh sorry, I didn't...
I didn't understand the question.
I'll ask the same thing a bit simpler. (Eija:) Yeah. (Jaakko, slowly:) How did the boat's going look?
This is plain TV, plain TV. – Yeah, plain Taskmaster, right.* [*Finland has special news broadcasts spoken in simpler Finnish, for non-native speakers or people who need plainer language due to cognitive disability. While rare, some websites offer plainer Finnish as an accessible language option.]
We still haven't seen how Jukka and Kalle did. [*Finland has special news broadcasts spoken in simpler Finnish, for non-native speakers or people who need plainer language due to cognitive disability. While rare, some websites offer plainer Finnish as an accessible language option.]
And we'll watch them right now. – "Poo and Jules".* [*Spoonerism of Jukka and Kalle. The clear syllabic structure of Finnish language offers a lot of opportunities for spoonerisms, and seeing them everywhere spontaneously and without trying is quite irresistible to many Finns.]
Jukka, you clearly took everything onto account there, except for gravity and water.
It was a decorative item! (Eija:) Yeah, exactly!
I was shocked when I heard that it would be put into water!
What do you think it would've felt like for Pablo Picasso, had he been told —
after he finished a piece, "yeah we're off to submerge this into water!" I mean Jesus Christ...
But Pablo was not a boat carver, was he.
No and neither am I. I'm an artist! – We could all see the fact that you're definitely not a boat carver, no.
Well, the look of the boat matters, of course. But then again, the swimmability, floatability, —
the ability to move forward on water is the thing that settles the game. So, Kalle 5 points.
Eija 4 points.
Fathi 3 points, and to the others, no points.
(Kalle:) Oh!
Outrageous! (Jaakko:) How are the total scores right now, who's in the lead?
On the scoreboard, the one in the lead right now is...
Kalle.
(Eija laughs loudly.) (Jukka, Eija:) Mommy's waiting!
(Kalle:) I can give up on the final task!
Of course I won't. No.
Dear friends. It's time for the final task. Get ready.
Pilvi. What was the final task again?
The final task requires the use of descriptive language and imagination.
Jukka, read the task aloud, please.
"Write down three adjectives to describe the fruit that Pilvi is going to show you.
If you use the same adjective as someone else —
you lose one point. You have 30 seconds.
Time starts from the taskmaster's cue."
Questions? (Eija:) Why are you looking at me?
I don't know. My gaze just happened to.
You're there, shining as the brightest one, so... Maybe that's why.
(Pilvi:) Shall I reveal the fruit? (Jaakko:) Yes. Take out the fruit.
(Jaakko:) Three adjectives. The time starts... now.
Time's up. (Pirjo:) Ow.
And, stop writing.
Kalle. – Yes. – What three adjectives did you write down?
Concentrated.* Cheerful. And fun. [*Doesn't translate well: Unusual and rather vague word used to describe a taste or smell that's so strong that you're yet to decide whether it's too unpleasant.]
Concentrated, cheerful, fun. Jukka, what three adjectives?
Ornate. Lovely*. Crystal clear. [*He uses a variation of the word 'lovely', where a grammatic suffix sort of makes it an adjective, twice. As a result of the suffix, the word ends up containing both, the word 'lovely' and the word 'woman'. It still just means 'lovely', but it ends up bearing that feminine connotation. Only used humorously, or possibly in poetic context.]
"Lovely(woman)"? – Initially it was just 'lovely', but I thought that someone else might write that. (Eija:) Would, yeah. [*He uses a variation of the word 'lovely', where a grammatic suffix sort of makes it an adjective, twice. As a result of the suffix, the word ends up containing both, the word 'lovely' and the word 'woman'. It still just means 'lovely', but it ends up bearing that feminine connotation. Only used humorously, or possibly in poetic context.]
Good. Good thinking, Jukka. Eija, what three adjectives did you write?
I have colourful, mysterious, and relaxed.
Fathi, what three adjectives? – Complex, sexual, and authoritative. (Eija:) Authoritative fruit.
(Pilvi:) You know you had to describe the fruit, not the taskmaster.
Pirjo, what three adjectives did you write? – I can't say these. – Try.
Leafy, holey, and full of vaginas.* [*Not a real word, but a single word. With a suffix, she's turned vagina into an adjective. It also sounds like the word 'regular/permanent' but she's replaced a hard K with a soft G.]
Because I felt... But Fathi understands me because there's something about that fruit that's, like... [*Not a real word, but a single word. With a suffix, she's turned vagina into an adjective. It also sounds like the word 'regular/permanent' but she's replaced a hard K with a soft G.]
It's like, flesh coloured. So that's why it made me think of...
So the only adjective that came to mind when you saw something flesh coloured, was 'full of vaginas'?
Well yes, because I was running out of time so I put that. But I can fix it... – No no, you'll have to go with what you've got there.
Oh, okay. (Everyone agrees.) – So now, dear friends...
Jukka, take out another task from the underside of your chair, please.
(Fathi:) Oh my god... (Eija:) Now we'll have to perform something based on...
"Write a modern poem about the contestant next to you.
The poem must be three lines long and have no end rhymes.
In the poem, you must use the three adjectives —
that you just described the fruit with.
The most impressive work of poetry wins. You have 45 seconds to come up with the poem.
Time starts from the taskmaster's cue." (Pirjo:) Whom do I write about?
Do you have questions? – Yes. The person next to you, on which side?
(Jaakko:) Pirjo writes about Kalle, Kalle about Jukka, Jukka about Eija, Eija about Fathi, and Fathi about Pirjo. – Okay.
Have you understood? Your time starts...
Now.
(Pilvi:) Time's up.
Dear friends, it's time to read out your poems. (Eija:) Oh such a fun...
So Kalle, let's start with you. Which three adjectives did you have? – So I had concentrated, cheerful, and fun(ny).
And your poem is about Jukka. – Yes. – Please go ahead.
"Jukka Rasila, a strong and unforgiving man* [* = Somewhat how Finns would now interpret the unusual word for 'concentrated', in this reframed context.]
a cheerful chap, as everyone knew
He's also funny, e.g. when sweaty." [*He's rhymed every second line.]
Jukka, what three adjectives did you have? – Uhh.. My adjectives were ornate, lovely(woman), crystal clear.
And it was about Eija. Please go ahead and read the poem.
"An ornate soul, lovely(woman) as a person, —
crystal clear in intellect."
In a nutshell.
Eija, what three adjectives did you have?
(Eija:) I had colourful, mysterious, and relaxed.
Alright, and it was about Fathi. Would you please go ahead and read it.
"Fathi, you colourful harbour, —
your mysterious gaze enchants, in the light of the full moon you're so relaxed."
Thank you. (Fathi:) Thank you. (Jaakko:) And Fathi, what three adjactives did you have?
So.. My adjectives were complex, sexual, and authoritative.
And... And... And this poem, it was about Pirjo. Please go ahead, Fathi.
Kalle, can you hit me with a beat? – Seriously?
Yeah, give it to me. – Okay. (Starts beatboxing.)
"The most complex one of the lasses on Pyjama Party,* the most authoritative one of the gang — [*Pyjama Party (Siskonpeti) = Finnish sketch comedy show with a cast of female comedians.]
Pirjo, my most sexual friend." [*He's rhymed all the lines: Finnish grammar is based on suffixes instead of particles, so when you list superlatives, the words all end up with identical endings.]
(Kalle:) Yeaaah! [*He's rhymed all the lines: Finnish grammar is based on suffixes instead of particles, so when you list superlatives, the words all end up with identical endings.]
(Eija:) That was a great beat.
Can I drop this somehow...? (Jaakko:) Pirjo. – Yes?
What three adjectives? – My adjectives were leafy, holey, and full of vaginas.
(Jaakko:) And... It was about Kalle.
Please go ahead Pirjo, read your poem.
"Kalle's mother is a vagwoman*, — [*Pause video to read, goes quickly: Such nonsense to even interpret because it's not a word but as with 'lovely'+'woman', this word actually ends up containing both words 'vagina' and 'woman', so reframed to this context, 'vagwoman' could be the most sensible translation as opposed to 'full of vaginas'.]
that's why the leafy bundle, Kalle*, was born — [*Pause video to read, goes quickly: She's twisted Kalle's name into a very strange and child-like pet name that bears connotations of something round and small, such as a warm baby in a fetal position.]
and his mind is holey but wonderfully playful."
Ohh!
(Eija:) Holey mind.
That was like, the most disturbing children's poem that I've ever heard.
(Pirjo:) I think it was touching. – Yes absolutely, it was great. (Eija:) Yes, Kalle* [*the weird pet name]
All of these were better than um, Cheek's palace rap.* – Yeah. [*Cheek = Finnish rapper, seen as mainstream party music. Every independence day, a live broadcasted ball is held at the presidental palace. Significant figures get an invitation. Fathi most likely refers to a time when Cheek did a cringey rap when a journalist interviewed him live in the palace when as a guest.]
Dear friends, thank you for these amazing poems.
It's time to score them, and um —
no one used the same adjective, so no points lost there.
And I've scored these as follows:
Just for the entertainment value alone, and um... For like, good interpretion of modern poetry, I'm giving —
Fathi 5 points. (Eija:) Good for you! (Fathi:) Thank you.
For simple and crystal clear poetry, Jukka and Eija get 4 points.
And Kalle and Pirjo, your poems slightly suffered as they had end rhymes —
while modern poetry should be rhyme-free. But 3 points to both.
There. All of the tasks are done —
and now, an exciting moment.
Pilvi, who won tonight?
After all the tasks, the one to accumulate the highest score was...
Kalle!
(Jaakko:) Congratulations!
Kalle went all in and it was worth it.
Thanks to Jukka Rasila, thanks to the other contestants. Thank you, viewers at home. This was Taskmaster.