Hello, I am Greg Davies and this is Taskmaster.
In this show, I, Greg Davies,
make some accomplished but needy comedians do stupid things for me.
Why? Because I can. I'm a powerful man.
Look at me. Thank you.
They have no idea how each other did, but they will soon find out.
I shall be judging both what they did, and how they did it.
My word is final. The contestants will definitely respect me.
Let's meet them now.
First: he's wearing a suit because he's both professional
and from a different generation to the others.
- It's Fr-- - [laughter]
It's the very smart Frank Skinner.
[applause]
Secondly, a man who's chosen not to wear a suit
and who clearly needs a haircut, Josh Widdicombe.
[applause]
Next up, a woman I once genuinely witnessed
calling for her mum because she'd seen a mouse. Roisin Conaty.
[applause]
A man who has quickly gained a reputation in comedy
for being livid all the time, Romesh Ranganathan.
[applause]
Finally, a future poet laureate
if some massive poet disaster happens.
Tim Key!
[applause]
And as always, I am both aided and fluffed
by my personal assistant, Alex Horne.
- Shall we have a little bit of banter? - OK.
[he exhales] So, thanks for giving me this opportunity.
You're welcome.
So, Alex, tell us about the first task.
OK. Well, I think you're tremendous, and as always, the first task...
[laughter]
...is the prize task. Each of the contestants
have brought in one of their own possessions
for the prize haul, and they're going to be awarded points
depending on how impressed you are by them.
Yeah.
Yes. And tonight, you've asked them to bring in their most unusual item.
And that's what I'll be scoring this first round on, then.
How unusual their unusual item is.
Frank Skinner, what was your unusual item that you decided to donate?
Um, I have brought in a pair of grape scissors.
And yes, they have grapes on their shaft.
When I first saw them, I thought they were
haemorrhoid tweezers, but no.
Has anyone in this room ever heard of grape cutters before?
Yeah? Huh, doesn't sound that unusual, Frank.
Josh, what did you bring in?
I brought in a football signed by the Plymouth Argyle squad
that lost in the Division 2 1994 playoff semi-finals.
Did they use invisible ink?
[laughter]
I don't know what's happened to the signatures. It's... it's unusual!
It's the most unusual "signed" football I've ever seen.
Roisin, what did you bring in?
I found this old tramp poet and he carves on benches, and I found him sitting
next to the bench that he'd just carved into, and I took a photo.
[Greg] That is from a trip that Roisin and I had to the seaside recently
where I paid for lunch and the petrol.
So, interesting that you would...
- You didn't pay for lunch. - Eh?
- You didn't pay for lunch. - Yeah, I did.
[Romesh] You let a tramp pay for your lunch?
[laughter]
I was gonna put you in last place,
but Romesh has just snatched that from you
before I even know what he's brought in.
What have you brought in?
Uh, I've brought in a snow globe
that features my children Photoshopped as little Santas.
It was given to me as a Christmas present from my sister-in-law.
I think we can all agree it's the shittest present in the history of mankind.
I get presented that picture in a snow globe
which has very few of those little granules. You know the granules?
The snow density is piss poor. Like you have to shake it for ages
and it's only floating for about two seconds maximum.
It's awful.
[Tim] Is it signed?
- All three of them are signed. - OK, yeah.
A snow globe isn't an unusual item, but your fury is.
Yeah, but snow globes featuring my three children,
there's only 250, 300.
[Greg] Tim Key, what did you bring in?
Reindeer skull.
[laughter]
That, my friends, is how to play this game.
[Greg] OK, let's not mess around. A clear winner.
The winner of round one, ladies and gentlemen: Mr Tim Key.
[applause]
And ladies and gentlemen, there are all of the unusual prizes.
They're up there on the balcony, and the winner of this competition
will have to take all of that shit home.
So let's get these onto the leaderboard.
OK, so who have you got in second place, Greg?
I've got, well, the grape scissors. They're insane.
OK, and third?
Ugh, you know. Snow globe.
Alright, and so you've got a picture of yourself in fourth.
Yes, of course, and I would put that last if I could, but the football
- was so bad, I have to-- - [Josh] What?!
[Greg] It's an unsigned football, Josh.
I've brought in a signed football,
you've rubbed off the signatures and put me last!
[laughter]
[Frank] That's harsh.
Which all means...
the scoreboard looks like this.
Josh Widdicombe in last place, Tim Key in first place.
[applause]
[Greg] On with the next task, the first task proper.
This took place in my lab at my Taskmaster retreat
and for good reason.
[Romesh] I'll put this on, first of all.
I'll be honest, this feels a bit kinky.
Used to be a guy in my village who used to wear one of these.
Is this my task? [she laughs]
I feel like I'm back at school in science lessons.
[he sighs] I really need my reading goggles.
"In the lab, there is a watermelon."
"Eat as much watermelon as possible."
"You have one minute. Your time starts when you open the door to the lab."
I'm allergic to watermelon.
What's frustrating is that I just ate one in my dressing room.
Uh, I love watermelon, I'm a big fan of it.
But, you know, I'm sure it's going to be ruined by this experience.
If you were in any doubt about the tone of this show, now you know.
There's five comedians being forced to eat as much watermelon as they can
whilst wearing a white boiler suit.
Josh, we're gonna see you first. Are you a melon fan?
Um, yeah, you know.
Fine. Seven out of ten.
It's quite a strange question, isn't it?
Let's have a look at Josh's attempt, bearing in mind
the task is to eat as much watermelon as you can in the time allowed.
[Josh] OK, so I'm worried I'm going to get in there
and there's going to be a watermelon sitting on a table.
So I need some kind of carving knife or knife.
I mean, I don't know how you do better than that.
I'll show you afterwards, if you like.
You know, I was impressed that you used implements,
but I didn't think there was much sense of urgency there.
I've seen my grandmother eating melon and it seemed a similar sort of pace.
I've seen your grandmother eating melon.
[Greg] You've seen my grand- mother eating melon, right?
She loves it, you know. You were just nibbling away at it.
I said I quite liked melon. There's the proof!
I thought I'd done well!
I'll be honest with you, I think you've slowed down the footage.
I wouldn't put it past you.
No, you did alright.
In one minute, you ate 218 grams of watermelon.
That's the equivalent of ten mice, if you can imagine that.
- That's pretty good! - [Greg] It's good.
[applause]
Just to calm you down a little bit, any antagonism
between you and I over this issue is all scripted.
[laughter]
Let's see the master, Frank Skinner.
[Alex] OK, here we go.
[laughter]
[applause]
Not so much scope for banter.
Before we get onto that amazing technique, I mean, there's a lot of
ageist references to Frank being the oldest member of the panel.
I want you to have a look at Frank in a white boiler suit
because we're of the opinion that he looks 12 years of age.
[laughter]
"Can I clear any melon up for you, sir?"
Frank, such an impressive start.
Yeah, well I'd forgotten my watermelon scissors.
[laughter and applause]
And the truth is, it had not occurred to me that it would
be a bright idea to get a knife or anything like that.
I was just prepared to tangle with it from the off.
My feeling is that Frank probably gobbled
a lot more melon than Josh Widdicombe.
[Alex] No, not at all, he ate 179 grams.
That's the equivalent of nine mice or ten smaller mice.
But less, just less.
- Who's next? - Roisin Conaty.
Let's see how Conaty handled the melon.
Oh!
Oh, I need a thing, I need some sort of hammer.
Can I get a hammer? A knife? Shall I go and get it?
[Alex] I would.
[laughter]
Well, is there any of this? No...
[Alex] You've got 36 seconds, Roisin.
[Roisin] Oh, God.
A bigger one, a bigger one.
This drawer, this drawer.
[rummaging, clanking]
[hurried footsteps]
[laughter]
I've always wanted to do this. Such a shame...
[whistle blows]
That wasn't fair.
I mean, I just grazed it. [she sighs]
I've got so many questions.
I guess my first question is, you knew before you went into that room
that the challenge was to eat as much melon as possible,
and yet your reaction to seeing a melon on the table was
"Oh!"
"Oh, clever twist!"
I thought it was gonna be free prepared melon.
I didn't think I had to cut a watermelon.
I thought it was going to be a massive bowl of melon and just keep eating.
[Josh laughs]
Like a melon buffet, I thought there was--
Like a melon buffet? That's not a thing!
How many seconds had passed before Roisin started to eat melon?
- 54 seconds. - 54 seconds.
I don't want to be negative, but I have eaten that much melon
by walking past a fruit stand.
How much melon did Roisin Conaty eat?
I've put it in Rolos. She ate one Rolo. Nine grams.
[Greg] Lovely.
I know we're all having fun, but this thing is funded
by adverts, so we've got to stop for a while.
See you soon.
Welcome back to Taskmaster.
If you've just joined us, you've missed some comedians
either eating or not eating a watermelon.
[Greg] Who are we seeing next?
We're gonna see Romesh and Tim together.
I've grouped them, and you'll see why.
[laughter and applause]
[he clears throat]
[he coughs]
[frustrated noise] I'm gonna throw up!
If I throw up, would you weigh it?
OK.
[whistle blows]
[he coughs]
[audience gasps]
[muffled] Yeah, I'm fine.
[Alex] It's alright.
[he coughs]
[whistle blows]
[laughter and applause]
Amazing how far we've come from...
Josh Widdicombe gently spooning melon into his mouth,
to two psychopaths.
You threw it on the floor! You had to eat off the floor.
That's my first question to you. There was clearly a table in front of you.
Why did you throw it on the floor?
Well, I knew it wasn't gonna be like a melon buffet.
I knew it was gonna be a whole watermelon,
but I just didn't realise that a watermelon was that soft.
I thought in my head that it was rock hard.
When I threw it I was like, "Holy shit, that has..."
[laughter]
"That has gone everywhere!"
It was a genuine surprise to me.
I just didn't-- I just hadn't anticipated that watermelon was like that.
I just built it up in my head, like,
"I'm gonna have to really smash into this!"
And then I was like, "Oh God, that's gone so badly."
I've got the image of you at an all-you-can-eat buffet
just kicking the shit out of everything.
Tim, how'd you-- I mean, really powerful start.
You'll have recognised the technique.
[Greg] Oh, I loved the technique.
It's your grandmother's technique.
Oh God, it's what she's evolved.
- She wrote the book on it. - [Greg] Yeah!
I thought, you know, it's a minute, it's a watermelon.
It has got to be grandmother technique.
Smash it and eat it.
Can I just say I genuinely thought I was gonna die.
Basically, when the whistle went,
my throat was full of watermelon.
My body just went, "Let's try and get that down, shall we?"
Then I started like... It was a weird situation,
because I had this bit of watermelon in my throat.
It was quite a weird situation, wasn't it? Slightly surreal.
It was really big and I kept trying to swallow,
and my body made-- I just went [high-pitched squawk]
It was horrendous.
My instinct is that Tim Key probably gobbled
the most melon there, because of the vomiting.
I asked whether it counts if you vomit, do you weigh the vomit.
And you said no. That's why I didn't vomit.
I think when the whistle goes, if the melon's still inside you, it counts.
Oh, thank God for that.
Because I think I produced more melon than I ate.
[laughter]
My instinct is that Key's won this. Tell me otherwise.
Well, Tim ate 302 grams of watermelon in one minute
and Romesh ate 301 grams.
[all] Whoa!
The way I measured it was scooping up and weighing
what was left in the room compared to what was in the watermelon,
so some of that had been in Romesh at one point.
Fine, so you scooped up Romesh's vomit.
So, it's up to you. There's one gram difference,
but also there was a bit of dodgy business with Tim.
If you just want to have a look at this...
[Greg] Ah.
[audience gasps]
Oh dear, oh dear.
Son of a bitch!
I love melon.
[laughter]
How can you possibly, at the end of that task, go
"Do you know what I fancy?"
He gobbled an extra bit of melon, which would mean
he was the winner if we count that bit of melon.
Yeah, so I didn't weigh that bit 'cause it was in Tim.
[Alex] If you want to subtract nine from Tim's,
it would put Romesh in the lead. That's up to you, though.
What I find very difficult about it is,
I'm pretty sure that Tim winked at us as he left.
- [Greg] Did he wink at us? - [Alex] It's very hard to tell.
If it was a wink, it was a bad wink, but we can have a look.
[laughter]
If that's a wink, that's such breathtaking arrogance from Key.
I'm gonna ask to let the audience decide.
Give me a cheer if you think that was a wink?
[audience cheers]
I'm taking nine grams off you.
[Greg] The winner is Romesh Ranganathan, ladies and gentlemen!
[applause]
Good work, Romesh. One step closer to the reindeer skull.
Alex, how are the scores looking?
Very, very neat. I've put them with frames. We can see them there.
The leader is Tim Key followed by Romesh,
and Roisin and Josh are in last and second-last place.
[applause]
[Greg] Really good fun.
So, there are three tasks to go, including
a live task on the stage behind me at the end.
And with ornate grape-cutting scissors to play for,
emotions must be running pretty high.
What's next, Alex?
We have some extreme art.
[he whistles]
[horse whinnies]
This necessary, is it?
Wow. Ugh.
Horse shit.
What a pile of horse shit.
What a pile of... [he clears throat]
"Paint the best picture of a horse..."
"...whilst riding a horse."
I've never ridden a horse before.
And I am absolutely dogshit at painting.
I feel more comfortable about painting a horse, probably, than riding one.
Can't paint, can't ride horses.
I can draw a horse, sat on a chair.
And I can ride a horse, in my mind.
Do I get points for that?
What I was hoping for here when we set this challenge
was for you to capture the essence of horse.
Alex, before we carry on, can you show us
which horse everyone was painting?
[Alex] The horse they were attempting to draw is called Baz.
Baz is there. Not a bad horse, not a bad horse.
Now I'm gonna ask you, Greg, to judge the paintings
just on gut reaction before you know who's painted which painting.
So here are the five paintings of horses, painted whilst riding horses.
[laughter]
[Greg] I know that a lot of judges
in art competitions would find it difficult.
I'll tell you now, at one glance,
I'm gonna find this pretty straightforward.
This is the way I see it.
Bottom right is clearly the best picture of the horse,
would you all agree with me?
No!
Secondly the horse next to it is, um,
sort of an Impressionist version of a horse
but there is some degree of artistic flair.
Happy with that? Yeah.
- So that's second. - [Josh] No.
The top three are absolutely shit.
The one on the right has got a bridle,
there's been some attention to detail,
that that person probably can dress themselves.
The next one, incredibly bad,
but so dramatically overshadowed
by a picture of a giant mouse.
Genuinely don't know who painted these,
but that is one of the worst paintings I've ever seen in my life.
- In fact, it's genuinely infuriated me. - It's OK, it's OK.
As if things couldn't get any more exciting,
we're gonna pause for a break. See you in a minute.
Welcome back to Taskmaster. Now, where were we?
Would you now like to find out who painted the paintings?
[Greg] I genuinely don't know who did that mouse.
It's a horse, mate.
Oh, now I think I have a better idea.
OK, so here are the names of the artists.
[Alex] So yeah, Tim Key painted the worst one.
Frank Skinner painted the best one.
But I think it's probably worth you watching how they painted it.
You may want to change your mind, Greg.
I mean, I won't change my mind on Tim's, but let's see.
I would say that Tim did spend the longest time
on the horse by quite some distance.
[laughter]
[Romesh] Sort of want to capture Baz's spirit.
[Josh] I've got off to a really good start, guys.
I'm really pleased with how it's looking.
Oh, my word.
Oh, blimey. Oh, God.
Ow, Jesus Christ!
- [horse snorts] - Shut up.
[he cackles]
Oof. Slow down. Slooow down.
- [horse snorts] - Shut up!
[laughter]
[Romesh] Oh, God. Oh, God.
[giggling] I couldn't get anything.
Just difficult to express myself artistically in these conditions.
- How do you make brown? - [Alex] How do you think?
Blue?
[Josh laughs] Quite pleased with this.
[Frank] Who says men can't multitask?
OK, I'm done. [he laughs]
I'm definitely done. Not gonna get better than that.
I'm quite pleased with that.
[applause]
Roisin, conspicuous by her absence so far.
That obviously means she's either done
incredibly well or incredibly badly.
We'll come onto that. Frank, do you paint? Your painting's lovely.
[Frank] You know what, a weird thing has happened.
I'd never painted before, since school.
And the end of that, I thought,
you know what, I might start painting.
I went out and actually bought some watercolours and stuff.
And I'm less good not on a horse.
Josh, my understanding is your parents have 15 horses.
- I hate horses. - You hate horses?
Yeah, 'cause you're not into what your parents are into.
- Have they got a horse farm? - Well, I'm from Devon, yeah--
No, they live in a council flat in Ealing.
[laughter]
Romesh, we haven't known each other long,
but I've never seen you that happy before.
I just sort of, really, I just lost myself in the joy of it.
Have you seen the film The Matrix?
You know when Neo suddenly sees everything in code?
I suddenly saw everything in, like, auras.
I saw Baz's spirit and basically tried to capture that on the canvas.
Stop being such a wanker.
[laughter]
Do you know how to make brown?
- You don't, do you Tim? - No.
[Greg] No. I quote, "How do you make brown?"
Alex said, "How do you think?"
And you said, "Blue?"
[laughter]
I had bigger problems than that.
Yeah, you did have bigger problems than that.
I mean, what happened?
Not very good at painting. Never ridden a horse.
And I guess I was sort of, somewhere,
thinking "anteaters."
I wanna slam you into last place, but there's a reason,
I don't know what it is yet, but there's a reason why
Roisin's been separated from the group, so...
Did she kill the horse?
Let's see if she did kill the horse.
I 100% cannot paint a horse whilst on a horse.
I won't even get on it.
I'll meet him, but I've met loads of horses.
That's what I do, I meet the horse, then decide not to get on them.
It's my history with horses.
[Alex] Would you trust us if we came up with plan B?
What's plan B?
[Alex] This is plan B. This is Merlin, the mechanical horse.
This is Baz, the actual horse that you're gonna be painting.
I don't like plan B.
[Rawhide theme plays] ♪ Rollin', rollin', rollin' ♪
There's no brown. Must be red and blue.
[Alex] Have you started painting yet?
Yeah. It's Impressionist. It's quite Cézanne.
- [Alex] Finished? - I'm finished.
- Have you signed it? - I have.
Oh, my God.
I think that came out way better than I thought.
It's a bit like My Little Pony.
[applause]
[Greg] Mechanical horse, a steady rhythm.
I've never been on a horse.
Met hundreds of horses around the world...
Alright, big shot!
It's what I do, Josh!
So, what do you wanna do, Greg?
You've put her in third place at the moment.
I can't possibly put anyone--
Can I just say one thing? Based on where my horse was,
at that window, my painting's actually quite good.
All I had was his head.
It was easier. He was already framed.
[applause]
This is what I think's fair.
I mean, you did do a painting of a horse,
but for the challenge you were supposed to be
riding a horse while you were painting.
Therefore, I'm afraid you have to be disqualified
from this round. Take last place.
- [audience groans] - Really?
You don't think that's fair?
I'll go last place but not disqualified. That's fair, right?
OK, I'll go third.
[laughter]
As we're reasonable, let's stick Roisin in last place
for not actually painting a horse whilst on a horse.
And the winner of that task was
Mr Frank Skinner, ladies and gentlemen.
[applause]
[Greg] Fair, right?
Alex, what are the scores so far?
OK, so it's tight. We have a leader, as you can see,
but there are two people in second place.
Romesh in the lead, Tim and Frank in second.
[applause]
Let's crack on with the next task.
[he chuckles]
Oh, God. Oh, God!
Duck's gonna be a lot of fun.
"Completely empty this bathtub."
"Fastest wins."
"You must not remove the plug, tip or damage the bath."
"Your time starts now." What?
What didn't you understand about that task?
I did understand the task.
It was an easy task, it was just empty the bath without removing the plug.
But there are lots of different varieties of methods, as we can see.
Again, I've grouped. I've put Frank and Josh together to display some methods.
[Greg] Are we seeing them first?
- [Alex] If you want to. - [Greg] I really do want to, yep.
I can do that. Yeah, that's fine.
I'm gonna do this while I think.
This can't be the way to do it.
Can't tip it, can't bring out the plug.
Have you got a hoover?
Can you do that?
I mean, that's got "death" written all over it, hasn't it?
I know there's that thing you can do with petrol...
where you get the thing and you suck and then it keeps it going.
There used to be a thing that ruffians used to do
with petrol tanks when they siphoned it.
You have to drink a certain amount of petrol to do it.
Or soapy water.
[laughter]
It's not how I remember it.
That's absolute bullshit.
I'm tempted to just go for it with a bucket.
No, I'm gonna go for it with a bucket.
[nervous laugh]
[Frank] This, you think, would be quite a quick method.
[he laughs]
This is so tough!
Does it need to be completely dry in there?
It's hard to get the last... the last dregs.
I mean, I think you've gotta say that's empty.
[Alex] Stop the clock.
[he exhales]
There's some bits, but I think that's my best job.
[applause]
Interesting that you both used the same method
and you both made it look incredibly
difficult to empty a bathtub.
I can't tell you how heavy those bins of bath water are.
Maybe put less water in.
Well, yeah.
I'm starting to think those ruffians used to turn the cars upside down.
[Josh laughs]
The siphoning, I was so confident in the siphoning.
[Alex] Yeah, to successfully siphon,
you have to do it a lot better than that.
Is that some research you've done online?
Yeah, they both did it very badly.
When you siphon, you've got to have the exit below the...
Yeah, I realised that days later.
My instinct is probably-- I don't know, you'd be able to tell us,
but my instinct is that probably Frank did it quicker because Josh...
There's a constant running commentary on how well he's doing.
[Alex] Yeah, I love your instinct. You're right.
Frank did it in seven minutes and 42 seconds.
Josh one minute longer, eight minutes and 52 seconds.
[Greg] So, Roisin, you're scared of lots of stuff. Are you scared of water?
- No? - [Greg] Let's have a look.
I walked over here with such conviction.
Thanks, Alex.
No.
What else can I use? I'll get some more things.
There's a hole in that.
- Kitchen? - [Alex] One minute.
- I've got one minute? - No, one minute's gone.
[melancholy music plays]
Might wanna move back, guys.
I've got a system, I'm sticking with it.
I've done about half.
[she exhales] Had a big lunch, didn't I?
Oh, my God. That has really hurt my back.
It's very deep.
I think that's it.
There's a bit left but I don't think I'm gonna get it out.
How would you get that end bit out?
[applause]
It was less than a minute slower than Josh,
but you didn't empty the bath in the end.
Didn't...? What?
There was some water at the bottom.
There was a healthy meniscus.
I can only imagine how these two animals approached this task.
"Completely empty this bathtub. Fastest wins."
"You must not remove the plug, tip or damage the bath."
"Your time starts now."
"Tip or damage?" Sure.
[laughter]
[circus music plays]
[cloth squeaking]
- Can I make a request? - [Alex] Yeah.
- Can I get a towel? - Yep.
- Now? - Yep.
- Just put it there. - Where?
- Where do you want it? - Just on the floor.
OK, can I just get a towel? I'm gonna get a towel.
Towel!
I'm good.
I'm done.
Ladies and gentlemen, without question,
a special round of applause for who I presume is
the inevitable winner, Mr Tim Key. Incredible.
[applause]
Incredible passion from both men. Enjoy yourselves?
Yes. Good time.
Romesh, you emptied the bathtub in two minutes and 50 seconds.
- [Alex] Pretty quick. - [Greg] Incredible.
- Tim Key smashed that, surely. - He did smash it. Yes, he did.
He emptied the bathtub in two minutes and 20 seconds.
[Alex] So, very good.
So nice to have a decisive winner in a round.
I loved it. Really enjoyed it.
There's one slight issue, in that there was a rule
saying you're not allowed to remove the plug.
And during the passion of Tim,
we did spot, if you just have a look again,
you can just see the plug. It wasn't in all the time.
[audience groans]
[Alex] The plug was dislodged.
I mean, that knocks him down into second.
It's unfortunate. The thing is, if he'd--
I didn't know that.
Well, you say that. We have got footage of you after the, um...
[laughter]
After the event. What were you doing here, Tim?
What's this?
[panting]
[laughter]
Put some thoughts to that face. What's that face saying?
That's me, having completed the task, just having a little walk around.
What had you picked up there, Tim?
Picked up? Sorry?
I was just wondering what you'd--
You've picked something up there, right?
[Tim] Picked the plug up, mate.
And then put it back in the bath.
You did do that. You picked up the plug and put it back in the bath,
but you disguised your actions.
- What?! - Of course, 'cause it's cheating!
What did you want me to--
Can we see how effectively he disguised
- putting the plug back in? - Yes, we can.
[panting]
[laughter and applause]
Any doubt at all I had about whether
that was a wink in the previous round...
Oh, that was a wink alright.
What's the fair thing to do?
I take him down two places, right?
It's up to you.
- He took the plug out. - Shut up, Rois.
He took the plug out!
Why don't you just drop me down by a place?
No way, you've got to go.
[Greg] Roisin, what do you think?
He took the plug out the bath.
He took the plug out the bath and that's enough for you,
he should go into last place?
You can't get all judgmental, getting on your high horse.
[applause]
I went last place!
- I went last place with the last... - [Frank] Yeah, you did.
[Josh] She did go last place.
So he should be honourable and go last place. You cheated.
[Greg] Well, do you know what I'm gonna do?
Tell you what, I'll do it for you.
I'm gonna put him in last place. Judgment done.
So the winner of that task is Romesh, ladies and gentlemen!
[applause]
We're learning a lot about you today, Tim Key.
After the break, we have one more task
which will be done right here on the stage.
Tim, will you cheat again?
Yep.
It's exciting, isn't it? See you after the break.
Welcome back to Taskmaster, where a reindeer skull's still up for grabs.
Alex, what are the scores so far?
OK, so Romesh is on 17 points.
Frank Skinner is on 15 points.
[applause]
Get Tim to read out the task, would you?
OK. So, Tim, here is the live task.
If you could read it clearly and slowly, please, Tim.
"Pop up a tent. Get in the tent. Zip up the tent."
"Pop on a onesie in the tent, and emerge from
the tent wearing the onesie. Fastest wins."
Shall we just explain it again? So you're gonna pop up your tent.
- You're going to get into the tent. - Get into the tent.
- Zip it up. - Zip the tent.
[Alex] Put on the onesie that is currently in your rucksack.
Come out of the tent. First out of the tent wins.
[Josh] Where do we put our tent?
Aren't we all gonna get in each other's way?
Hey, hey, hey. All that, you can do internally.
[laughter]
Can I say, I'm 58. I might never come out of the tent.
Alex, get ready to blow your whistle. Let's get on with this.
Good luck, everyone. Your time starts...
[blows whistle]
Let's hear some names. They need encouragement, these people!
[audience shouting]
Frank's in his one. He's in!
[Alex] Frank is in. This way, Josh, this way.
That's lovely. Zip at the front, please.
Back a bit, back a bit. Zip at the front, please.
You're not in it. You're not in it. He's not in it!
Get in it. Get in it! You have to get in it!
Are you in it, Roisin? Are you in your tent?
Yeah...
You're not in it! You're not in it!
Gotta get in the tent. Get in it, you have to get in it!
- I'm in it. - You're not in it!
- Put it that way. - She's not in the tent.
Do we need to send someone in for Frank yet?
- He's been in there for hours! - He's been very still for a very...
[audience cheers]
[Alex] Stand there.
- [audience cheers] - [Greg] Yes!
[audience cheers]
Looks a little bit like election night.
This is as good as it's gonna get.
- [Alex] Go on, Romesh! - That's it, patronise him!
[applause]
You almost made me forgive the crimes of earlier in the episode.
What an incredible victory for Mr Tim Key.
[applause]
Come down and join us.
Alex, you work out how that's affected the final scores, please.
Magnificent performance from the obvious winner of that task,
Mr Tim Key, ladies and gentlemen.
[applause]
OK, so let's find out, has Romesh lost a snow globe of his children?
Who's going to win a reindeer skull with a hole in it?
Let's have a look at the final scores, Alex.
Here they are.
Ooh, tie break.
I genuinely don't know what happens here.
Alex, what the hell are we gonna do about this?
There must be a winner.
We did a tie-break task, when I hid in an area of the task cottage
and they opened the task saying, "Find Alex."
So if we see whether Frank or Romesh
found me first, they will be the overall winner.
So this whole thing is gonna be decided on a game of hide-and-seek.
- I think so. - Yep, that's about right.
[both] "Find Alex. Fastest wins. Your time starts now."
He's not in here.
[tense music begins]
I've found Alex!
One minute 50. Have a seat, Frank.
Alex! [panting]
Hello, mate.
- Hello. - Hello there.
Two minutes 27.
Romesh, I imagine you wish you'd honed your
hide-and-seek skills more when you were a child.
My parents did lock me away and stuff.
In that video clip, I looked like I was moving more frantically than Frank,
and he had sort of a chilled-out vibe,
yet still destroyed me in terms of the time.
- It's the tortoise and the hare. - Yeah, exactly.
Lovely. Less movement, more finding.
On the plus side, I don't have that dogshit snow globe any more.
So the winner of today's show, ladies and gentlemen,
is Mr Frank Skinner! Well done.
[applause]
That's all for this week.
I have been the Taskmaster and this has been Taskmaster.
Thank you, Alex.
You, Mr Skinner, may go and collect your prize haul.
Mr Frank Skinner, your winner, ladies and gentlemen.
[applause]
Thank you for watching, and remember,
learning to trust is one of life's most difficult tasks.
Isn't that right, Tim?
Good night.
[subtitles by tribbletown]