Hello! I'm Greg Davies and this is Taskmaster.
We're nearing the end of the series,
and before long we'll find out who's going home with this.
The most sought-after trophy in television.
Imagine the delight as they wake up each morning
with this face next to theirs in bed.
Because that's definitely where they'll be keeping it.
Let's meet our five contenders now. They are...
Al Murray!
Dave Gorman!
Paul Chowdhry!
Rob Beckett!
Sara Pascoe!
And next to me, statistically speaking,
- it's Alex Horne. - Mm-hm.
- Is it? Is it Alex Horne? - It is.
I am Alex Horne. I am officially...
the deputy Taskmaster. So if you get ill...
or weak, or lost, I become the Taskmaster.
Or else it says we might get David Walliams.
Really?
OK, we usually start the show
with the prize task, and today...?
Oh, yeah, we're gonna start the show with the prize task.
Today you've asked the people, these five,
to bring in their shiniest thing.
So whoever brings in the shiniest thing,
that you judge to be the shiniest,
will win the first maximum points of the show.
Whoever wins the whole episode will go home
with five shiny things.
- Wow. - Yes.
Everyone's into shiny things, right?
Right.
- [Greg] Sara? - Yes?
What shiny thing have you brought in and why should it win?
Oh, I have brought in the shiniest thing of all,
which is the single Shine by Take That.
[laughter]
Every kind of meaning of the word "shine" is encapsulated,
plus it's one of the best songs ever written,
I think we all agree.
Or don't we?
[laughter]
It seems to me your relationship with Take That is fairly complicated.
When Take That were first together, I really loved them,
and then they broke up and I didn't kill myself,
I just carried on going.
And I'm glad that I did because then they got back together.
[audience cheers]
And then we found out that three of the four
didn't actually pay tax, which I'm very against,
- so it's complicated. - It is.
But I think if I love them enough, they'll change.
- [laughter] - For the better.
Uh, Rob, what have you brought in?
Well, I've brought in something quite close to my heart.
- [Greg] Yeah? - I'm a big football fan...
and I've brought in my almost 99% completed
sticker album from the World Cup.
[audience gasps]
[Rob] Look at all those shinies in there.
The difficult thing for me is, Rob,
it brings back pretty awful memories from the 80s,
'cause I despise football, and I...
So not a great pick then, was it?
I got a Panini sticker just to try and fit in.
[laughter]
Paul, what have you brought?
I've brought in my shiny balls.
[laughter]
Of course he did.
I mean, what do you use them for?
Just playing with them, innit?
OK.
It's good for your joints and your movements.
Yeah, they're also called Chinese exercise balls,
Chinese medicine balls or Chinese healthy balls.
Those are the official names.
That is genuinely the official name.
Is it like a stress-release thing?
- [Alex] It is, Sara, yeah. - Oh, OK.
Al Murray?
Um, I've brought in a torch.
[laughter]
[Greg] Is it a nice torch? I haven't seen it.
- It doesn't work, does it, Al? - What?
No, it turns out it doesn't work.
- What do you mean...? - [laughter]
Don't offload all your crap on this show, mate!
What's really good about it is, if it worked,
it could be used to test how shiny our objects are,
- which are actually shiny. - If it worked!
If it worked, it would be useful.
To be fair, yours doesn't work without a CD player.
- Hang on... - Your CD.
Well, hang on, mate.
I can't look at your stickers if someone plucks my eyes out.
[laughter]
Fair point!
Doesn't that make 'em all null and void?
No, my balls are fine.
[laughter]
- Pop 'em in your eyes. - Pop 'em in instead.
I'll look like a Doctor Who monster. It'll be wicked.
You already do.
[gasps and laughter]
Welcome to last place.
[laughter and applause]
I hadn't finished saying, "One of the nice monsters that everyone loves."
Awww.
Too late.
So, we don't need to see what Dave's is.
Come on, Dave. What's yours?
I've brought in a cycling jacket made of what I think
science has proven to be the most reflective surface on Earth,
so it's very, very shiny.
It also has a little light in the back,
so it actually creates its own light also.
So it's doing what the torch does
and what these other objects do, combined.
- It's not cool. - You can't stick it in a book, mate.
- And it's not called Shine. - You actually can.
Can you?
Yeah, if you open the pages of a book,
you put the jacket in, you close the...
You can literally do that.
[laughter]
You're gonna be telling me next, with enough encouragement,
it can sing a song and avoid tax.
[laughter]
OK, well thanks for your shiny objects.
Here comes my judgment. Strap yourselves in.
Al's broken torch last.
- Really? - It's broken.
Yeah. Number four. I'm really sorry, Rob...
It's your shiny stickers, but that's 'cause of my past.
It's not fair, but that's what's happening.
[laughter]
Three, Dave's high-vis jacket. It's just boring.
Number two, Take That.
You know, they would've been number one,
if they'd stop avoiding tax.
Stop it. Pay your tax. You'd have been number one!
Number one, it's Paul's Chinese handballs!
[cheers and applause]
What's next?
Uh, we're gonna have some fun undressing.
- Ready? - Yep.
- Here we go. - [Greg] Oooh.
Oh, that's good, innit?
That's a good one.
"Spread your clothes as far and wide as possible
at your own expense."
"Your must discard four items of clothing
that you're currently wearing."
"Farthest and widest wins."
"You have 30 minutes. Your time starts now."
Four items.
So, what, I just dump me clothes?
Well, it says "discard", but whatever.
"As far and wide."
So they've gotta go in opposite directions.
[applause]
Yeah, I mean, essentially I wanted to
mark my territory with your clothes.
We're looking for an enormous shape
with four corners made of clothes
and they've got the whole of London to play with.
All of London, they could use.
Well, they only had half an hour,
but we did film this in London.
[Greg] Any part of London. Good.
Let's see how Paul got on. Ready?
[laughter]
As far and as wide as possible?
[Alex] Yes, please.
So we'll start with one sock here.
[laughter]
Shall I put the other one in the other corner?
Alright, and the other one's over there.
If we can get that plane to take off...
I can get it even further.
[plane whirring]
[laughter]
Pretty far, innit?
Far and as wide as possible, that was.
[applause]
You know that if you throw a sock over a fence,
it's still just the other side of the fence?
[laughter]
You didn't see where it landed.
- [Greg] What, the sock? - Yeah, I chucked it over the fence.
Unless you did some sort of martial arts throw...
I mean, it's just the other side of the fence.
Yeah, but when you twist your hand
it gives it a spin, and it...
[laughter]
It's probably still travelling now.
What did you think were the chances of that plane
flying with your fucking sock wrapped round it?
Pretty high.
- [Greg] High? - I was when I tried it.
[laughter]
I thought if I put the sock on it...
I put it in the place where it could've still flown.
So when you see all those nerds at weekends,
at flying club, putting their models
and getting them absolutely perfect,
the last thing they always do is stick a sock on it.
[laughter]
OK, so we're going to the break.
I just want to say a quick thank you to Paul
for being extraordinary.
In fact, to express this gratitude...
we've set Paul his own special task.
- What? - [Greg] See you after the break.
"Have the most fun on this bouncy castle."
"You have one hour."
One hour?!
[laughter]
"Your time starts now."
[applause]
Welcome back to Taskmaster,
and thank you, Paul.
[Greg] Alex, what was happening before the break?
Well, clothes...
[laughter]
Clothes were being shed left, right,
and in Paul's case, centre.
[Alex] Happy with Paul?
Are you joking? I fucking love him.
[laughter]
[Greg] Who's next?
Well, we're gonna have a look at Sara and Dave,
and see if they left... the house.
[laughter]
Come on, then.
Come on, Alex! We can do better!
One magpie.
[applause]
I'm gonna put this bit of wood inside my sock,
so that it goes out to the middle of the river.
[Alex] Yes?
And then we can watch it drift away.
That's it.
Yeah.
There she goes.
If I gave you a sock to put in your pocket,
would you take it with you to the end of your journey?
Can do.
And whereabouts is the end of your journey?
East Sheen.
I appreciate your help. Thank you.
Godspeed. Thanks, mate. Thank you.
[applause]
How are we doing time-wise?
Halfway.
Oh, great, there's no barriers. Right.
Thought I might as well walk this way for a little bit, then.
There's no bus coming.
[laughter]
It's the other platform, it's the other platform!
It's coming in! Oh, no!
[blows whistle]
[applause]
Not for the first time, Sara Pascoe,
your response to a task is just to run. Run fast.
I take everything very literally.
My favourite bit of the whole tape was, uh...
I don't know what it meant, the "Yeah!" that you did
after you'd put a piece of wood in your sock
and chucked it in the Thames.
- What d'you mean? - You went, "Yeah!"
Like, "Yeah!"
I felt really great about it.
I felt like that's what our ancestors would have done
if they needed something to go really far away.
But you went in an exact straight line for 1.6 miles.
So we are trying to look for an area, but it's...
Am I being stupid here?
Are you saying that Sara ran
with her sock down the Thames?
I mean, sort of ran...
It was going slower than Sara, but it was bobbing along.
But it's probably still going out to sea now,
which is the important thing for this task.
Even though you had a time limit,
you think you've taken the moral victory.
Oh! Ooh...
So it doesn't matter how far the sock went.
I've just got what we were supposed to be doing.
[laughter and applause]
Oh, I understand it now! I've got it!
I should've put a sock over a plane.
- Now it makes sense. - [Paul] Exactly.
Well, that sort of explains
your Forrest Gump reaction to tasks now.
[laughter]
Dave, you used some clothes mules.
Yeah.
Yeah, I got a bus, then got off the bus,
leaving a sock there, so that travelled.
Yeah, lovely.
All makes perfect sense.
You got a round of applause when you got on a bus.
Using public transport, very impressive.
None of this quite explains why you
took a knife to one of your shirts.
[laughter]
Because...
we were doing four items of clothing
and I split one of my four in two.
So that they could go in opposite directions,
so I had five nodes to play with instead of four
to give me further breadth.
[applause]
It's not an item of clothing, half a shirt.
Unless you're howling mad.
No, but if one half of a shirt is here
and one half of a shirt is there...
- [Rob] You're naked. - ...that shirt is spread.
It's a broken shirt, so...
It's no longer an item of clothing.
It's like when David Banner turns into the Hulk.
- It's exactly like that. - He can't put the Hulk's shirt back on.
'Cause they're two pieces of a shirt, you can't...
Well, I would say that shirt has been spread,
and I think their reaction to hearing it
says that they agree with me
that that shirt has been spread.
[cheers and applause]
What a shame they have no power.
[laughter]
You did use the word...
Did you use the word "nodes"?
Yeah, I did.
You did use "nodes" and that almost got me back onside.
[laughter]
Dave Gorman's in the lead.
Next up, Rob and Al, and we've grouped them together
because they did similar things. Here we go.
You've got your van?
[Alex] I've got my van.
Shall we go for a drive?
Request taxi.
So, two of you go...
One with the jacket, one with the hat.
Right? And then we'll do the similar in another direction.
When I figure out how to order a second taxi.
It's the "and wide" that's the problem.
[Alex] You've got 28 minutes and 15 seconds left.
[Rob] OK, let's go! Left out of here, mate.
[Alex] OK.
Here he comes.
- Good luck. - Thanks, Al.
[Al] Fly like the wind. Right.
OK.
Ugh, I don't know this area.
You for hire?
Ha-ha!
So towards Richmond or towards the south-west?
Toward Richmond, please.
First exit.
Just over there on the right by that Fiat, please.
[driver] Yeah.
Thank you.
[laughter]
So...
So just drop it out the window?
[Alex] If you want, yeah.
[Rob] Discarded, isn't it?
Right.
OK.
[Alex] Socks gone?
Socks are gone!
[laughter]
Ooh!
A bit of my bum came out then.
[laughter]
If we could stop in 30 seconds, that would be brilliant.
[laughter]
Five, four, three, two, one...
[he giggles]
[laughter]
Trousers gone, are they?
Yeah, no trousers any more, mate.
Just me in my pants.
[applause]
I mean, you are the naughtiest boy.
You know, I'd always been warned of getting into
a van with a man with a beard
with no trousers on, but it was great.
We had such fun, didn't we, Alex?
- We had a lot of fun. - Hope you're listening, kids!
[laughter]
Al throwing cash at the problem.
Yeah.
There were three different vehicles involved.
My taxi cost 60 quid, which, you know,
you could buy a sofa. I'm selling a sofa at the moment.
[laughter]
Sixty pounds.
[laughter]
What he did well was three of the clothes
went in different directions at the same time.
[Alex] You paid a man to just walk
- with some clothing. - Yeah.
[whooshing noise]
- Very impressive. - You're gonna be at a loss
at the end of this series, the amount of money you spend...
What price glory?
[laughter]
Currently £340.
[laughter]
Have we got some statistics, or what?
Yes, do you want to see?
What I've done, I've plotted it on a map.
It's my sort of thing.
So, we can see the distances covered here...
We're gonna look at Sara's first of all, in green.
It's quite narrow, so it's a total of...
[laughter]
0.02 square miles.
Then we've got Dave's in blue...
It's more of a shape, it's 0.3 square miles.
Then in red, we've got Rob's.
- [everyone gasps] - 2.7 square miles.
Then finally, in purple - nearly finally -
in purple, Al Murray, 6.2 square miles.
Ba-ha!
Wait, we're gonna zoom in!
In pink... in pink...
Paul Chowdhry's clothes
covering 0.0001 square miles.
Pretty much the same as his clothes.
Yeah, chuck it over a fence, stick it on a plane. Bam.
So, Al Murray was the winner of the task.
[cheers and applause]
I'd like to see the scoreboard, Alex. If I could, please.
This is our fifteenth show, and for the first time ever,
we have joint leaders.
- [Greg] Whoa! - Six points each!
[cheers and applause]
[Sara] That's nice!
- Next task, please, Alex. - OK.
This one is one of my favourites.
It's a lab-based task.
[both] Oooh.
Ooh.
Hi. Nice to meet you.
[Rob] Mornin'!
Oh... Hi there, mate.
[laughter]
I'm Rob. Nice to meet you.
He looks-- Is he your dad?
- [laughter] - Are you his dad?
Hello.
"Find out what this gentleman did for a living."
"You can ask him any question,
but you must whisper at all times."
"The gentleman can only nod or shake his head."
[he sighs] "The gentleman can only lie."
- [audience] Ooh! - Oh, man.
"Fastest wins."
"Your time... starts..."
"...now."
Is everyone getting someone dressed up as their future self?
[laughter and applause]
- [Al] I loved this. - [Dave] I loved this one as well.
Rob's instinct was exactly the same as mine.
I presume that is your dad, is it?
It's not my dad. He looks nothing like me.
He definitely looks like him, right?
- Who else thought it was Alex's dad? - [audience cheers]
[laughter]
Nothing like me.
It's not my dad. His name is Hugh.
He's 83 years old.
Same age as Michael Caine,
but we couldn't get Michael Caine because people know he's an actor,
and also he hates people whispering.
The rule is these guys had to whisper...
[Greg] Yeah.
and he could only nod or shake his head.
- And he's your dad. - He's not my dad.
Terrible timing, but we have to stop now for a break.
Back soon.
[laughter and applause]
[laughter]
[applause]
Welcome back.
And, uh, thanks so much for that, Paul.
Our contestants are playing for shiny items today,
and the eagerness to win them
is written all over their little faces.
Alex, can you bring us back up to speed, please?
Of course I can. So, Hugh, our octogenarian friend,
is being grilled by the comedians
on what he used to do for a living.
The rule is you guys had to whisper, he had to lie...
Yeah.
...and he could only nod or shake his head.
- Yeah. - That's it.
[Alex] Do you want to start with Rob and Paul?
- [Greg] Yes. - Here we go.
Here we go.
[whispers] Did you work in a public sector job?
The government?
The council?
NHS?
Oh, was you a doctor?
[Alex] What sort of doctor, Rob?
That's niche! What sort of doctor? Are you mad?
[whispers] Did you help people?
You worked in a care home?
Were you a driving instructor?
Are you a doctor? Were you a doctor?
He's a doctor.
[Alex] What sort of doctor, Paul?
Oh, for fuck's sake. You fucking bastard.
I don't know what type of doctors there are.
Oh, were you a GP?
No, you weren't. Was you a surgeon?
Oh, brain-- brain doctor?
I don't know any more doctors.
Dentist?
I said, "Are you a doctor?"
and he went "No," which means he was.
That's a job.
I don't know what more you want from me.
Were you a GP?
A doctor of paediatrics?
Like a psychiatrist?
This is unfair. I've got he was a doctor.
Were you a Dr Pepper?
[laughter]
Dr Dolittle?
OK, I don't know what other doctors are there.
A surgeon?
Was you a doctor in hearing?
Uh, heart doctor? Brain doctor?
What kind of sort of doctors are there?
Were you a surgeon?
Were you a nurse?
Did you ever get involved with the nurses?
[laughter]
Have you got a degree in medicine?
Was you a psychologist?
I might need one.
X-rays?
Are you a bone doctor?
Radiologist?
Are you an ear, nose and throat surgeon?
Were you a doctor's assistant?
So you gave...
the patient something...
in the surgery rooms?
Can you mime what you did as your job?
Anaesthetist?
[Hugh exhales]
[applause]
That was hard work, weren't it?
Anaesthetic doctor?
He's an anaesthetic doctor.
[Alex] What's that called?
When you put people into anaesthesia.
[Alex] Are you saying anaesthetic doctor?
Er... an anaesthesis?
[Alex] A what?
An anaesthesis.
[Alex] A what?
Anaesthesis.
Thank you, Paul.
[cheers and applause]
Wow. I'm gonna recreate my favourite moment from that.
When Rob got his breakthrough on the NHS.
[whispers] "Do you work for the NHS?"
"Oooh..."
[laughter and applause]
Rob get NHS very early, but then spent a long time after that
- pinning it down. - Oh, ages.
You then said things like, "Captain Birdseye."
"Head of the NHS." It took a while.
I was in there for about two days.
You both seemed very angry that you had to get
- the type of doctor. - Well, yeah.
'Cause it said, "What job is it?" A doctor.
That's your job, isn't it, if you're a doctor?
He shouldn't have said yes.
The trouble is, yeah, he is Dr Hugh,
but he's an anaesthetist.
[Greg] I struggle with that word as well, Paul.
Could you say it now?
Anaeth-eses-tist.
- [laughter] - Yeah, I struggle with it too.
Do you want to know some of the other things that Paul guessed?
Yes, please.
Yoga instructor, rent boy, babysitter, hygiene doctor.
[laughter]
Dr Dre. There was quite a few.
Dr Dre!
[laughter]
Look, I didn't know.
I may as well get these ticked off before we...
Rob said the word "doctor" 49 times.
Paul said the word "doctor" 63 times.
He made 15 sexual references and he swore 23 times.
[laughter]
Fifteen sexual references?
[laughter]
Rob took ten minutes and five seconds to discover the truth.
[Greg] OK.
Paul, slightly longer, 42 minutes and seven seconds.
[laughter and applause]
Let's take a look at Sara and Dave.
Here we go.
Medicine?
OK.
Er, was it something you needed a university education for?
Yes.
Were you a doctor?
No, I'm getting very confused about what's...
[Alex] Make sure you whisper, please, Dave.
Did your job begin...
with the letter "A"?
Wow, OK. I wasn't expecting it to go that well.
[he laughs]
Er, right. Were you an architect?
Oh, that's the only job I can think of
that begins with an "A".
Were you a heart surgeon?
Um...
Er, were you an archer?
[he laughs]
Oh, God. I've really hamstrung myself
by knowing it begins with an "A" now.
[chuckles]
Did you ever get to go in an ambulance?
Were you a paramedic?
OK, um...
Were you an ambulance driver?
No...
A general practitioner?
Did you ever use an X-ray machine?
Were you a nurse?
I'm in the ballpark, right?
[Alex] Yeah. You've been in the ballpark for quite a while.
I know!
[laughter]
Was it medical in any way?
Yes!
Was it-- And it's not an ambulance driver.
Paediatrician?
OK, um...
Were you an anaesthetist?
Get in.
- [applause] - Yeah, amazing. Lucky.
- That's a result! - [they laugh]
Wow.
Well, I think I've got to win this one, haven't I?
Surely that's...
[Alex] Four minutes 21, Dave.
Nobody's getting that in under four minutes 21.
Were you an anaesthetist?
Is that it?
- [applause] - Yeah! That was pretty fast!
[applause]
Sara seemed very efficient to me.
Couple of highlights from Sara -
"Did you make babies in a test tube?"
- It's a doctor! - [Alex] Yeah.
And, "Did you specialise in urinary tract infections?"
- [laughter] - Very specific.
I was trying to guess the different kinds of doctor!
That's an incredibly specific doctor.
Eight minutes 31, she took.
So it's pretty impressive. She's into the lead.
[applause]
But we obviously we heard that Dave did it in four minutes 21,
so currently in the lead with one to go.
- That was good. - It was good.
- It was. - It was.
Er, Al?
[laughter]
[Greg] Four minutes 21 to beat.
Four minutes 21 to beat. You ready?
Impossible, innit? Let's go.
Dave thinks so. Let's see. Here we go.
Not any more, I don't.
Did you do it for a very long time?
So yeah, you did.
Was it highly skilled?
Yes, it was.
Did it involve working with, like, machinery?
Yes, it did. OK.
Were you a doctor?
[Alex] Keep your voice down a little bit, Al.
Sorry.
Were you a doctor?
Yes?
So were you a GP?
No. Were you a surgeon?
No.
Er, an anaesthetist?
[gasps and applause]
[Al] Yes!
[cheers and applause]
[Hugh] Nice to meet you.
[Sara] Oh, my God!
Unfortunately not whispering at the beginning of the task,
so null and void.
[audience groans]
I'm joking! I'm joking, of course.
Like me. Please like me.
Good. Well, I mean, amazing performances
nearly all round.
Yeah, I mean, Al was...
He was tender, he was professional.
He said afterwards, he knew because he had soft hands
when he shook his hands.
- [Greg] Really? - Yep.
I could just tell!
He'd not done anything like manual labour
'cause he had very soft, delicate hands.
So he must have been an... an anaeth-etist.
[laughter]
I have a cousin who's an anaeth- anae- No.
[laughter]
Who does this job.
And, er, so I just got this vibe off him.
Wow.
Properly Derren-Browned it.
Oh, yeah.
D'you wanna know his time?
Nah.
[laughter]
Yeah, yeah, please.
Eight seconds and two minutes.
[cheers and applause]
Tell me how it's affected the scoreboard.
Well, obviously, they are now no longer on the same score.
They're all on different scores and Al Murray is in the lead.
Bam!
[cheers and applause]
Lovely whispering work.
Let's have another task, Alex, please.
OK, it's a team challenge. It's a high-tech team task.
Ready? Here we go.
OK.
- Do you wanna read it? - No, you read it.
OK.
P-51D Mustang.
- [Alex] Is that a good one? - Yeah.
"Make the most special effect."
"You have one hour."
"Your time starts now."
A special effect? So, we've got green-screen.
Yeah.
If one of us wore a green outfit...
we could fly this aeroplane across
this amazing landscape that we put in later.
[all talking excitedly]
[mimics aircraft gun] Well, it's pretty special!
I could try and be King Kong.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
- You can come in really angry. - I can do a chimp face.
So it's like this horrible monkey...
[laughter]
Well, then, we could tell a story.
We could do anything.
We could make us all disappear.
Independence Day.
Big Momma's House?
[Paul] Pick a film.
[laughter and applause]
Some very interesting team dynamics straight away, I thought.
Some very sensible suggestions from Dave and Al,
followed by Paul listing terrible films.
[laughter]
Big Momma's House. There was three to choose from.
I think you misunderstood the task, mate.
Special effects, innit?
So why are you saying Big Momma's House?
The same actor played of the characters.
- Martin Lawrence isn't a woman. - They're not the same people.
It's not different...
[Sara] He's doing all of 'em!
We watched that together.
We didn't have a clue, did we,
- when we watched that? - No, we didn't!
We thought it was all real.
It's all CG. It's very special.
You need to watch more foreign films.
[laughter]
Let's have a look at Al, Paul and Big Momma's House...
...and David.
OK.
["Carnaval de Paris" by Dario G plays]
[laughter]
[wind whooshing]
[whistle blows, crowd cheers]
[applause]
Very good.
I mean, pleased with it?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Bit different to Big Momma's House,
but that's as close as you could get to it.
You'd been sacked by the end of the film, it seems.
Your character. That's gone.
Yeah, there's a sequel to that coming out soon, I think.
[laughter]
Can we talk through the narrative of the film?
I can talk you through it, 'cause I watched it.
- What it is... - [laughter]
I don't wanna read too much into it,
but at the beginning there's a man
who's got a head, but another head on top of the head.
One of his heads is reading the paper
and the other head is Al Murray, the comedian.
[laughter]
[Sara] Am I right so far?
Well, I had no idea it was an autobiographical piece.
And then a ball hits it, and then...
Al Murray's head is in the air, and you're like,
"Oh, no! I'm really worried about Al Murray!"
Can I stop you, Sara? I'll just tell you now,
I don't know whether people will be going
"Oh, no! I'm worried about Al Murray!"
because Al Murray's disembodied head
was smiling throughout.
[laughter]
Also, sometimes, for the viewer who might get scared too easily,
he occasionally just came out of the green-screen
so you could see his trousers.
I'd remember what it was and stop worrying.
- [Sara] It's all pretend. - That's special. That's a special effect.
- [Alex] It's very unusual. - It's one of our special effects.
Sometimes the word "special" can mean "bad".
[laughter]
Right, I think this is as good a time as any to take a quick break.
When we return, we'll see Rob and Sara's potentially Oscar-winning short film.
Then all five will hit the stage for the final task of the show.
Bye-bye for now.
[laughter]
Hello. Welcome back to Taskmaster.
And thank you, Paul.
So, here we are in the final part of the show.
There's Al Murray's broken torch to be won
and a live task to take place, but first...
What were we up to?
Well, we've just seen The Beards'
very incredible special effects movie.
It's just the brother and sister, Rob and Sara's film to go.
- You ready? - [Greg] Yep. Let's see the twins.
[Alex] Here we go.
Hey, Rob. D'you like my new shoes?
What shoes?
[PING]
My shoes have disappeared!
No, they haven't!
[PING]
These aren't mine!
What about these?
[PING]
I've never seen these before in my life!
Here you go, then.
[PING]
Ugh, Rob! This is ridiculous!
Can you just give me back my shoes?
Coming right up.
[PING]
Oh, phew.
Thank gosh you've stopped mucking around with shoes.
And I asked you not to use magic in the house!
We're not in the house!
[PING]
Rob!
How are you gonna magic yourself out of a divorce?
I'll find a way.
[PING]
- [laughter] - Nice shoes.
[PING]
[laughter and applause]
Introducing them as brother and sister
has taken a sinister twist, hasn't it?
[laughter]
Shoes were the least of our worries.
I think regardless of their relationship,
it's a fairly sinister film.
I'm intrigued. What was your understanding of it, Al?
What d'you think was going on there?
Well, they were doing a thing where
they were making shoes appear and disappear.
- Correct. - Yeah.
[laughter]
Is that your review? Three stars. Out.
But there was also the emotional story.
This poor woman who has to live with this guy
who keeps making shoes appear and disappear,
and then there's the divorce and then
- there's a new coupling. - Mm-hm, yeah.
There were some issues there, wasn't there?
I mean, it was a gay man trapped in a heterosexual marriage, presumably.
- Er, yes. - Or just maybe...
Hence his obsession with shoes.
Why are we talking about my private life? We're at work.
[laughter]
I thought he was a very nuanced character, though, the...
[laughter]
The insane, winking gay magician.
[laughter]
As far as I can work out in the narrative, though,
you taunted her by repeatedly changing her footwear.
Yeah, sure.
And then you made her disappear
and you replaced her with a man.
[Rob] Yes, that is correct.
Why taunt her with the shoes?
Why not just get rid of her and bring the man in?
'Cause that shoe's too loose.
I don't know what that means.
[laughter]
The character you're playing, the shoe didn't fit him.
- The shoe didn't fit. - Yes, that's probably what it would be called!
The shoe didn't fit emotionally.
So really, I should've been with a man...
It's like a reverse Cinderella story, in a way.
Yeah, it was me going through my emotional changes of
"What do I want? When do I want it?"
and also, just, what a waste of magic.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
I mean, honestly, I preferred the football one,
until I started getting into the backstory of those...
[laughter]
Poor couple. I mean, what he must be going through.
So difficult not to be able to just live in your own skin,
or indeed to be fired into a different dimension.
Can I do a draw?
No, 'cause it's gotta be five points split.
Alright, then. I'm gonna give three to the football team
and two to that team there.
Three, two.
- [applause] - [Dave] Well done. Good work.
So Alex, where are we at score-wise now?
Well, it is exciting.
For the first time in the series, with one task to go,
any of them can still win,
but Al Murray is currently in the lead with 14.
[cheers and applause]
Right, one of our contestants is gonna go home safely
in Dave Gorman's high-vis jacket.
To find out who that person is,
we need them all to participate in one final contest.
Will you please make your way to the stage
for the final task of the show!
[cheers and applause]
Not many props this time.
Sara Pascoe, would you please read the task to your fellow contestants?
[Dave] Can I point out that Sara is not wearing any shoes because Rob winked?
[laughter]
[Rob] Still got my powers, guys.
There we go, Sara.
Thank you.
"Wearing a blindfold, cover yourself in sticky notes."
"Sticky notes must be applied individually."
"The person with the most sticky notes
still sticking to their body after 100 seconds wins."
- Pretty straightforward. - Yeah.
It's got "dignity" written all over it.
[laughter]
When you say "body", you've gotta take your clothes off
- and put them on your body? - No, mate.
Absolutely not.
[laughter]
Blindfolds on.
So they can't go inside clothes?
- Ah, no! Good question, Rob. - [Rob] Thank you.
They must be on the outside of your clothes.
'Cause I was gonna get a hundred sticky notes in my pants!
[laughter]
Pew, pew! Sticky notes!
[applause]
Problem with this is I can't see anything.
[laughter]
It does make it harder, doesn't it?
OK, blindfolds on. Good luck!
[blows whistle]
Off they go.
[audience shouting encouragement]
- How's it going, Paul? - Good, man.
- What's your technique, Paul? - Just rub 'em on me.
[laughter]
[audience cheers]
Fifteen seconds left!
- [Greg] Go on, Al. Stick to the jeans. - [Alex] Ten!
Five, four, three, two, one...
[whistle blows]
Stand still!
The counters are coming on.
I feel vulnerable.
[laughter]
Is everyone else standing here like this or is it just me?
Rob, it's so weird.
Dave, you get extra marks for your comedy eyelashes.
[laughter]
I'm gonna hold you to that.
[Greg] The sticky notes are being counted.
Please join me down here and we'll find out the final scores.
[applause]
So there we are, Alex.
Have you got some stats for me?
Have I?
- I dunno. - Yes. Yes, I do.
So the worst person at sticking sticky notes to their body
was Paul Chowdhry.
- Really? - 29, 29 sticky notes.
Then Al with 31.
I'm surprised by that, because Al was hampered
by an overly expensive jacket.
[laughter]
[Alex] He did come second last.
Sara in third with 33.
Dave and Rob both in the 40s.
[everyone gasps]
Dave got 40, Rob 45!
[cheers and applause]
Without resorting to ramming them down your pants.
Didn't have to ram 'em down me pants.
- That's nice, innit? - [Greg] Impressive.
So I presume that means you have the final scores of the show?
I do. I can say that Rob is winning the series by just two points.
Whoa, series leader!
But the winner of this episode, a first-time winner.
It's Mr Dave Gorman!
- [cheers and applause] - Get in!
Thank you very much.
- Congratulations. - Thank you very much. I feel good.
[applause]
Dave Gorman is the winner, thoroughly deserved.
You may go up and collect your shiny prizes!
[applause]
Well, we made it, Alex.
You made it, Greg.
- I did, didn't I? - Yes, you did.
And what exactly have we learnt today?
Well, this is what we've learnt.
The next time you get on a plane and you're experiencing turbulence,
have a look out the window.
There might be a giant sock on it.
But more than anything,
we've learnt that today's winner is Mr Dave Gorman!
[cheers and applause]
Congratulations to Dave, commiserations to everyone else.
Thank you. I love you all. Good night.
[subtitles by tribbletown]