1 00:00:02,360 --> 00:00:03,360 Oh, no! 2 00:00:05,560 --> 00:00:06,640 Hello? 3 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:11,560 This programme contains strong language and adult humour 4 00:00:13,040 --> 00:00:14,040 Eh... 5 00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:16,640 GEESE HONK 6 00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:17,720 STRAINING 7 00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:18,960 HE GROANS 8 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:21,200 Nothing's ever straightforward in this stupid house. 9 00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:32,800 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 10 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:34,160 Hello! 11 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,880 Thank you. Welcome to Taskmaster, 12 00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:40,080 a set of challenges presided over by a temperamental dictator. 13 00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:42,120 It's a sort of upbeat North Korea, 14 00:00:42,160 --> 00:00:44,520 and I'm Kim Jong-Fun. 15 00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:48,680 LAUGHTER 16 00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:51,840 Let's meet our citizens for the first time. 17 00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:53,080 They are... 18 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:56,000 ..Ania Magliano! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 19 00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:58,360 Maisie Adam! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 20 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:00,360 Phil Ellis! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 21 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:02,520 Reece Shearsmith! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 22 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:05,880 And Sanjeev Bhaskar! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 23 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:08,840 And next to me, 24 00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:11,600 a man who I once thought I saw riding on the back 25 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:13,920 of a baby elephant with a tiny trunk, 26 00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:18,320 to discover he simply had no trousers on. 27 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:20,080 It's... 28 00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:23,120 HIGH-PITCHED: ..little Alex Horne! Hi, thank you. 29 00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:26,920 Cos the trunk would be... Yeah. 30 00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:28,240 Hello, everyone. It's lovely to be here. 31 00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:29,960 It's lovely to see you, Greg. I actually think you're great. 32 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,120 Thanks. Hm. 33 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:32,760 Thanks, man. But I do think I could help... 34 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:33,800 Ooh. 35 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:35,680 ..with a couple of enhancements. 36 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:37,680 On the count of three, would you mind smiling? 37 00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:38,760 A-one, two, three. 38 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:41,120 ANGELIC CHORUS 39 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:42,960 ENTUSIASTICALLY: Eh? 40 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,240 I can do a couple of these. 41 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:48,200 How about doing a nice big blink to camera. 42 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:49,760 One... A blink? A blink. 43 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:50,960 One, two, three. 44 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,280 SNARE DRUM CRACKS Ah! 45 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:54,760 A snare. Snare drum? 46 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:56,520 Open your mouth. One, two, three... 47 00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:58,320 VACCUUM CLEANER WHIRRS Yeah? 48 00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:01,280 Yeah? Yep. 49 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:03,440 Yep, by your standards, not bad. 50 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:06,640 OK, here we go. 51 00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:09,880 What's the first prize task of this series, little Alex Horne? 52 00:02:09,920 --> 00:02:11,520 Well, my guy, 53 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:13,720 today, you asked them quite specifically 54 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:15,640 to bring in a very soft thing 55 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:18,880 which would be most beneficial for Greg Davies. 56 00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:22,080 OK? So the very soft thing Greg thinks he'd find most beneficial 57 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:24,000 will get the full five points. 58 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,960 Then the winner of the episode will take home all five very soft things 59 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,720 even though they're intended to benefit Greg. 60 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:30,480 But Greg won't mind, as it's bound to be 61 00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:32,440 a great big bunch of crap. 62 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:35,440 Thanks very much. Over and out. 63 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:38,120 OK, Ania. Welcome. Thank you. 64 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:39,920 What soft thing did you bring me? 65 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,920 I brought you a bum cushion. 66 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:43,240 OK. 67 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:46,640 LAUGHTER 68 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:48,760 It doesn't look unlike my bum. 69 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:51,680 So, I made it extra soft, 70 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:54,920 because I added some cat hair on it, 71 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:57,160 from my cats, Chicken and Ricken. 72 00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:58,480 Chicken and Ricken? 73 00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:01,640 Now, the problem for you and your bald cats is 74 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:03,320 I am profoundly allergic to cats. 75 00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:05,000 Oh! Oh, no! 76 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,560 What I will say is this - at least you've made an effort. 77 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:11,120 The people I get angry with are the people who haven't made an effort. 78 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:15,080 Yeah, when we got them spayed, I said, "Can I keep the hair?" 79 00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:17,920 Cos they had to shave some of them to put, like, an injection in and... 80 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:20,600 Oh, that's lovely. Yeah. So this is hair is just before 81 00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:22,280 they had their wombs removed. 82 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:26,640 It's from the really special zones... Ah, great. 83 00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:29,160 ..which you might not be allergic to that! 84 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:30,720 Well, I've never... 85 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:32,760 LAUGHTER 86 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:34,280 I've never put that to the test, 87 00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:35,920 but never say never. 88 00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:38,880 Maisie. 89 00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:41,520 Uh... Uh, a-ba-ba-ba. Ooh, sorry. 90 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:43,080 Small talk. 91 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:45,080 How are you? Very well, thanks, Greg. 92 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:46,160 Good. What...? How are you? 93 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,080 What have you brought in? Cool. 94 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:53,440 Uh, I've brought in a manly bonnet for you. 95 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:56,920 I'm concerned about banging your head on things what with your... 96 00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:58,880 Extraordinary height? Extraordinary height, yeah. 97 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:00,640 Here is Maisie's bonnet. 98 00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:02,080 So you've got... 99 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:03,960 LAUGHTER 100 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:07,320 I didn't want you to feel emasculated by wearing a bonnet, 101 00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:09,680 so I've stuck loads of manly things on it. 102 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:12,760 Oh, that's nice. Yeah. Um, barbeque on the top... 103 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:15,240 Lovely. Bit of weights, tool box, 104 00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:17,800 couple bottles of beers for the lads. 105 00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,280 My dad's quite tall, 106 00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:21,720 and he always hits the top of his head and it's... Yeah. 107 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:24,680 ..and it scabs over, so... And what better to protect it 108 00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:26,560 than a miniature barbecue? 109 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:30,400 I really like it. 110 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:32,200 Wow. You're welcome. I've got nothing negative to say, 111 00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:34,240 and I'm not allergic to any of those things. 112 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:36,360 Phil. 113 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:39,240 What is the softest thing in the universe? 114 00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:43,240 And we all know that is the hands and voices of the elderly. 115 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,040 So, I thought if I just, like, pop these on, 116 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:50,440 these elderly people's hands on... 117 00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:52,120 Yeah. They fit like a glove. 118 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:53,960 I mean that's perfect, innit? Yeah. 119 00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:57,520 So, I thought if, like... 120 00:04:57,560 --> 00:04:59,600 If you just enjoy the... If we play the cassette... 121 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:02,560 Yeah, you ready? ..of a softly spoken elderly lady. 122 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:04,120 Here is the elderly lady talking now. 123 00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:06,240 ELDERLY LADY: Hello, Greg. 124 00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:08,760 You're such a wonderful person. 125 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:11,240 We're all so proud of you. 126 00:05:11,280 --> 00:05:15,000 Such a big, strong, beefy boy. 127 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:19,480 Good, innit? Is that an old lady? It is an old lady, yes. 128 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,160 Well, it's the oldest one I could find. 129 00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:24,960 Um, I found it quite distressing. 130 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:26,280 LAUGHTER 131 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:27,920 I think if you'd brought an old lady on, 132 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:30,200 maybe, uh, it would've been more beneficial. 133 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:32,960 I know. It's weird, though. None would come with me. 134 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,720 Yeah. 135 00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:36,120 Reece, what did you bring us? 136 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:38,720 My first question is are you allergic to feathers? 137 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:39,760 I am. Oh... 138 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,280 Right, well, moving on. 139 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:46,840 Just imagine I'm not. I have created for you... 140 00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:50,240 ..a fortune-telling raven. 141 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:54,240 Didn't I say that's what I was hoping for this...? Yeah. 142 00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:56,920 Here is the fortune-telling raven. 143 00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:59,320 LAUGHTER 144 00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:03,800 Every morning, it will give you a prediction 145 00:06:03,840 --> 00:06:05,400 for the events of that day. 146 00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:07,440 Raven... 147 00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:09,280 ..tell me my fortune. 148 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:14,520 There it is, look. Picked one out for you. 149 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:15,840 What's it? 150 00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:18,280 "You will leave the iron on." 151 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:20,840 ALL: Oh... 152 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:24,040 Greg, you've got to leave and get home. 153 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:25,640 Yeah, like I iron. 154 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,000 Christ, none of these are rubbish. 155 00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:32,240 You must be feeling the heat, aren't you, Sanjeev? 156 00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:33,520 Totally. Yeah. 157 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,960 I've gone incredibly practical. 158 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:37,600 Here it is. Nice big blanket. 159 00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:41,280 You see... And there it is. 160 00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:43,040 And there he is. 161 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:45,440 Made from... The contestant who grabbed something 162 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:46,840 on his way to the show. 163 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,760 It's electric. 164 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:53,480 Oh... So it warms up. Wait a moment. 165 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:56,440 It's made from the finest cat-...uh, sheep hair. 166 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:01,360 Or wool... "Sheep hair." ..as I believe some people call it. 167 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:03,760 No, because I thought, you know, because you are tall, 168 00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:05,840 you feel the cold quicker than anyone else. 169 00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:07,720 I do. OK. 170 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:09,760 You've seen five quite soft things. 171 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:11,600 Yeah. Other people have made stuff, 172 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:13,640 so I have to punish you cos you didn't make it. 173 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:15,520 Uh, sorry, you didn't ask me whether I made it or not. 174 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,600 Yeah, I know but... You made a huge assumption 175 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:20,000 that I picked it up on the way here. 176 00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:26,800 I've been knitting and bolting that thing together for months. 177 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:28,080 Right, well, does that change things? 178 00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:29,160 No. 179 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:33,040 The thing I want second least 180 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:37,440 is to have latex gloves rubbed over my face. 181 00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:38,640 Two points to Phil. 182 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:42,160 Next, I want to sit on a doughnut of cat hair. 183 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,880 Well done, Ania. Three points. 184 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:45,440 And then we're up to the big two. 185 00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:47,200 I want the raven most. 186 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:50,640 Maisie, four points. Reece, five points. There we go. 187 00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:53,200 I want it. I want that raven. 188 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:55,840 We're off to a flying start. Let's get going. 189 00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:57,200 What's the first task proper? 190 00:07:57,240 --> 00:07:58,640 You're gonna love this one, Greg, 191 00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:01,240 because it involves your two favourite things. 192 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:02,640 One, basic technology, 193 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:06,920 and two, me standing next to a table looking all mysterious and macho. 194 00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:23,280 Hello. BEEP 195 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:25,120 Oh, no, he's started the clock! 196 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:28,080 What do I do? 197 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:29,160 MAISIE: Hiya. 198 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:31,520 BEEP What? What? What? 199 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:32,920 Why are you timing it? What? 200 00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:35,600 Hello, hello. 201 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:36,960 BEEP 202 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:40,080 Hi. BEEP 203 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:41,880 Hello. BEEP 204 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:44,320 Oh, God. 205 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:45,480 Speak! 206 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:47,160 Hello. 207 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:49,640 What? You all right? What's the task? 208 00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:54,080 Well, I can't see any kind of task written down here. Mmm. 209 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:56,160 So, I'm just going to hit you with this. 210 00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:01,280 Is there...a task anywhere? Do I have to find the task? No. 211 00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:02,920 Are we against the clock? Yes. 212 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:05,400 But what do you want me to do? 213 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:06,800 Is there anything different about me, Reece? 214 00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:08,160 Well, you've got that on. Yeah. 215 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:10,040 Do you know what it is? 216 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:12,960 Yes, it's one of those things where you...you pay at restaurants. 217 00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:18,440 Uh, well, I don't know what you call those things. 218 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:21,520 Yeah, it's a QR code. QR code, that's it, yeah. 219 00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:23,000 Do I have to have a phone to scan it? Mm-hm. 220 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:24,640 Unless you can do them with your eyes. 221 00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:25,920 I can't do them with my eyes yet. 222 00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:29,080 Do I need my phone? Yes. 223 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:32,680 Can I not use this to scan your QR code? 224 00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:35,320 Have you not got one of these? No... Back in my room! 225 00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:37,640 Well, go and get it then. Oh, Alex! 226 00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:39,440 I have a phone in another room. 227 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:40,680 Ah. Shall I get it? 228 00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:43,280 You might need it. OK. 229 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,120 Have I got to look for it in this room? 230 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:47,040 Your telephone? My telephone? 231 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:48,200 Your telephone. 232 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:50,560 Why do you keep saying do I have a telephone? My telephone? 233 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:53,440 Do you have a telephone? No, not on me. 234 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:55,120 Right. Do you want me to go and get one? 235 00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:56,840 Where is it? 236 00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:58,560 My telephone? Your telephone. 237 00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:00,720 My telephone... 238 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:02,080 Yeah, your telephone. 239 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:03,240 Well, wh-what do you mean? 240 00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:04,360 I-I don't have one on me. 241 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,840 I mean, I've got my mobile phone. Oh. Private to me. 242 00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:08,240 You want me to bring it into this room? 243 00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:09,560 Well, you need to scan that somehow. 244 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:10,960 Well, then I have to go and get it, don't I? 245 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:12,760 I suppose so. Sorry to argue. 246 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:17,240 Share your phone! 247 00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:18,640 What? 248 00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:20,680 PHIL LAUGHS 249 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:23,640 PHIL: Clever boy. Right. 250 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,080 I mean, it's fascinating, 251 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:34,520 because there's such a range of ages amongst the five of you, 252 00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:38,240 but my initial impression is that was like watching footage 253 00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:41,680 of the distressed residents in a care home. 254 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:45,320 The age range is extraordinary this series. 255 00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:48,480 For the first time it's 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and up we go. 256 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:51,080 It is... 257 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:54,840 I think if the staff were looking after these pensioners, 258 00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:58,760 Reece would be the one that they'd dread looking after the most. 259 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:01,600 You can almost hear the staff go, 260 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:06,120 "Will you go and deal with him? He's really on one today." 261 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:07,920 But when do we get our medication?! 262 00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:12,240 You know there's going to be a Dispatches about this 263 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:15,920 and you will all be revealed - your cruelty will be revealed. 264 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:18,120 I was left on the stairs last night! 265 00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:25,320 Let's crack on. 266 00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:27,640 OK. It's QR versus AR, 267 00:11:27,680 --> 00:11:29,400 Ania and Reece. 268 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:35,360 Why didn't you just s-...? 269 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:37,040 Oh, for f-... 270 00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:40,600 Stop... 271 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:44,920 Come here. No. 272 00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:52,040 Come here. I need to scan your chest! 273 00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:57,200 ALEX WHEEZES WITH LAUGHTER 274 00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:59,320 I don't feel good about this. 275 00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:04,520 ANIA GIGGLES 276 00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:07,160 Ah, right. Ah. 277 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:09,000 Stand there. No, no. 278 00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:11,280 Oh, I can't remember my passcode. Keep still. 279 00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:12,680 I don't want to keep still. Keep still. 280 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:14,520 I need to go that way. You can't. 281 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,320 Ah, I still have the dice game open on my phone! 282 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:22,560 SHE LAUGHS 283 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:24,160 Keep still. I don't want to keep still. 284 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:25,600 You've got to. I don't want to. 285 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:27,720 Oh, his back. 286 00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:29,400 Come here. I don't want to. 287 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:33,480 Keep still. I don't want to! 288 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:35,040 God's sake. 289 00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:36,640 Ah! Oh, I nearly got it! 290 00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:41,080 ALEX WHIMPERS 291 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:45,560 APPLAUSE 292 00:12:58,280 --> 00:12:59,760 BOTH HONK 293 00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:01,360 I've stopped the clock. 294 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:03,280 That was so fun, I feel so alive. 295 00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:05,080 ALEX SIGHS Can we go again? 296 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:07,320 ALEX PANTS I can't. 297 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:08,640 HE SIGHS EXHAUSTEDLY 298 00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:10,880 APPLAUSE 299 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:17,720 Ania, you looked like you were genuinely enjoying running around. 300 00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:20,640 You don't get to chase someone very often in your life. You don't. 301 00:13:20,680 --> 00:13:23,360 And you were really enjoying being chased. Course I was. 302 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,160 Yeah. It's the build-up. 303 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:29,640 It was actually quite slippy, so I couldn't go at top speed. 304 00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:31,320 MAISIE: Mm. Um... 305 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:34,040 And if I had my time again, I would go at top speed. 306 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,160 I'm sorry you never got to go at top speed. 307 00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:39,040 Did you enjoy that, Reece? 308 00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:40,320 Um... No. 309 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:41,360 No? 310 00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:43,680 I found it frustrating because he wouldn't stop, 311 00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:46,920 and I guess that's the point. That's the point all right. 312 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:48,720 Reece, you're twice as old as Ania, 313 00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:50,120 and twice as slow, it turns out. 314 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:51,600 Ania, 2 minutes 29, 315 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:54,800 Reece, 5 minutes and 5 seconds. Oh, God. 316 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:56,880 But she wasn't even at top speed. 317 00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:58,920 Imagine. 318 00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:00,560 OK, that's the first part through. 319 00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:04,200 But as my doctor said in a recent health screening, after a break, 320 00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:07,240 I'm going to need to get a glove and really get amongst it. 321 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:10,480 LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE 322 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:14,960 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 323 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:18,760 Hello! Welcome back to the second part of the show 324 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:20,680 and the second part of the series. 325 00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:22,720 The current task is to get the Horne, 326 00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:24,600 scan the Horne, then honk the horn. 327 00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:26,880 Now, let's see how the final three got on. 328 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:28,400 It's Maisie and Phil, 329 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:30,800 who both understand the concept of "fastest wins", 330 00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:32,600 plus Sanjeev Bhaskar. 331 00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:37,400 MAISIE: What? 332 00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:43,080 There you are, you little bugger! 333 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:44,760 Come here, let me spank you. 334 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,040 You got a QR code? 335 00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:48,600 Oh, he's got a big one on the back! This is brilliant! 336 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:53,200 LAUGHTER 337 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,040 Back here now! Now! 338 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:04,640 AUDIENCE GASPS Bugger! 339 00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:06,280 You little prick! 340 00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:09,280 SANJEEV GROANS 341 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,760 I know how to get him. He likes music, doesn't he? 342 00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:23,680 CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS 343 00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:28,720 I've got it on the wrong bloody setting now. 344 00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:30,280 Using the wrong settings? I'm phoning my mother. 345 00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:35,720 I'm still on the wrong bloody settings. 346 00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:40,560 HE STRUMS UKELELE TUNELESSLY AND HONKS HORN 347 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:41,800 Come on. 348 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:44,200 HE CONTINUES STRUMMING AND HONKING Don't be scared. 349 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:46,560 You like instruments, don't you? 350 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:51,520 Alex! 351 00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:54,920 Fucking 'ell! 352 00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:57,440 I think he's on a loop. 353 00:15:57,480 --> 00:15:59,120 Need to block his path. 354 00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:05,520 Ah. 355 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:08,080 There's one of two things I can hit you with. 356 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:09,800 Right. Where's your telephone? 357 00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:10,840 It's in my pocket. 358 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:13,040 Right how are you going to...? 359 00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:14,240 What? 360 00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:17,440 Ah, bastard! HE LAUGHS 361 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:21,520 Sanjeev... 362 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:22,800 Now... 363 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:24,360 Say hello to the ostrich. 364 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:25,680 I don't want to. 365 00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:30,840 SHE GASPS 366 00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:32,880 Oh, I think I've just beheaded a gargoyle. 367 00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:34,480 I'm really sorry. 368 00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:40,080 HE LAUGHS Oh, I've got him! 369 00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:42,000 Oh, shit, I'm on airplane mode. 370 00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:46,560 CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS 371 00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:48,640 Hmm. Do you know how to use QR codes? 372 00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:51,000 It's just giving me a little yellow light on it, which is not the thing. 373 00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:52,280 Yeah, then you... No, it is the thing. 374 00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:53,600 Oh, is it? Yeah. 375 00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:55,360 Stay still. I don't want to. 376 00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:57,120 Stay... Argh! 377 00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:00,320 I'm really strong, Alex. 378 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:04,440 Stupid man. 379 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:06,800 "Honk the horn. Fastest wins." 380 00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:08,760 Oh, you bastard. I've honked a horn! 381 00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:10,040 "Honk the horn." 382 00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:11,520 SHE HONKS HORN 383 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:12,880 HE HONKS HORN 384 00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:15,600 I should've done this at the... Yeah, I've stopped the... 385 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:17,080 I should have done that at the bloody beginning. 386 00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:19,000 Yeah, I've stopped the clock. 387 00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:21,440 APPLAUSE 388 00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:28,440 So, what I wrote down for you during that is, 389 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:31,840 "Good to see someone who knows he can't win this having fun." 390 00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:36,080 Yeah, yeah, I mean, it's so early on, isn't it? 391 00:17:36,120 --> 00:17:38,600 And yet it's so obvious. 392 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:39,840 Just having the time your life, weren't you? 393 00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:41,560 "Come here, you little bugger. I'm going to spank you." 394 00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:45,080 I didn't hear that, but...OK. 395 00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:46,280 Y-you...you said that. 396 00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:49,160 Oh, yeah? That wasn't me saying that to you, Phil. 397 00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:54,840 And he wasn't destructive. There wasn't £40 worth of damage. 398 00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:58,160 £40? MAISIE: That gargoyle? 40 quid? 399 00:17:58,200 --> 00:17:59,680 Yes, that gargoyle, yeah. 400 00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:01,720 What...? Right. OK. 401 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:03,040 Sorry. Um... Thank you. 402 00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:06,440 What I will say is... 403 00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:08,560 ..I'd forgotten I'd worn such big pants. 404 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,120 There's nothing wrong with a big pant, my friend. 405 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:15,040 Well, my leggings, they didn't come in my length, 406 00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:18,200 so they only reached round my bum. 407 00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:20,160 Are you saying your trousers were riding down? 408 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:21,640 I didn't notice, did you notice? 409 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:24,480 Yeah, I noticed, yeah. Of course I noticed. 410 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:27,400 I mean, I still enjoyed watching you running around breathlessly 411 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,800 with your... I was not breathless, thank you. 412 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:31,080 Sorry. 413 00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:34,000 I was firing top speed, but with saggy pants, so... 414 00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:35,600 Sanjeev. 415 00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:37,080 I was going at top speed. 416 00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:40,280 LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE 417 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,920 I wasn't holding back. 418 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:46,040 Have you, genuinely, in real life, had a phone for long? 419 00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:47,720 A... A phone? A phone, yeah. 420 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:50,880 A telephone? PHIL: A telephone. Yes, a telephone. 421 00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:52,640 Yes, I think, you know, in that moment, 422 00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:55,320 I didn't know whether you wanted me to, I don't know... 423 00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:56,840 To know how to use your own phone? 424 00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:58,360 Yes. 425 00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:00,360 Yes, I have people who do that for me. 426 00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:03,800 The nurses. 427 00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:06,840 LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE 428 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:11,360 Shall I tell you some times? Tell me some times. 429 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,360 I can't imagine any of them are good. 430 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:17,720 Phil did find a horn and lure me out with another horn... Wow. 431 00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:19,400 ..at 1 minute 37. 432 00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:20,920 That was his first honk of another horn. MAISIE: Oh. 433 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,480 We didn't say which horn you had to honk. 434 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:24,000 So Phil, 1:37. 435 00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:27,640 Suddenly, he's overtaken Ania who's lagging at 2:29, so slow. 436 00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:29,560 Reece, 5:05. 437 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:32,440 Maisie quicker, 4:22. 438 00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:34,080 More than twice as long as everyone else, 439 00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:37,120 Sanjeev, 10:16. Yes! 440 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:40,160 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 441 00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:43,080 However, there is also one extra video to watch. 442 00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:44,800 AUDIENCE: Ooh. 443 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:47,240 Hiya. BEEP 444 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:49,160 What, what? What? 445 00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:50,400 Why are you timing it? 446 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:51,440 What? 447 00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:52,920 HONK 448 00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,040 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 449 00:19:57,840 --> 00:19:59,240 That's me, baby! 450 00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:03,400 Wow. 451 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,360 And what's amazing is 452 00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:09,160 we literally didn't need to show any of that footage 453 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:10,880 of your trousers falling down. 454 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:13,480 It is one point to Sanjeev, two to Reece, 455 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:14,800 three to Ania, four to Phil, 456 00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:16,440 and five to Maisie Adam! 457 00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:18,280 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 458 00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:22,120 Shall we see our first scoreboard, young fellow-my-lad? 459 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:24,240 Of course. At one end, consistency himself, 460 00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:25,760 Sanjeev's got two points. 461 00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:27,560 At the other, Maisie's got nine points! 462 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:29,840 GREG WHISTLES CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 463 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:33,480 Right. What's next, little Alex HONE? 464 00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:35,880 Ooh, well it's time to task with a target. 465 00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:37,800 We've found a big space, we got some big balls, 466 00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:39,720 we're going to have some big fun. 467 00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:59,520 Do you know who I'm doing? 468 00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:02,160 Max Schreck as Nosferatu. 469 00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:04,320 I thought you looked like a penguin. 470 00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:06,000 1921 classic. 471 00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:07,840 SICKENED: "Looks like a penguin." 472 00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:11,640 You're quite far away. 473 00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:13,040 So are you. 474 00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:18,760 "Roll an object onto the target." 475 00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:23,760 "You must release your object from behind this line." 476 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:26,360 "You may not move the line or target." 477 00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:30,120 "And you may not affect your object after release." 478 00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:33,320 "You must use the first type of object you touch, 479 00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:36,280 "and can have three attempts with that type of object." 480 00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:40,080 "And must not go within Greg's height of the target." 481 00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:46,520 What? 482 00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:49,240 "Closest to the centre of the target wins." 483 00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:51,400 REECE: "You have 15 minutes." 484 00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:53,280 "Your time starts now." 485 00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:57,160 What w-...? How do I know how tall Greg is lying down? 486 00:21:57,200 --> 00:22:00,240 Or standing up. Or... Ah! 487 00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:04,240 APPLAUSE 488 00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:08,800 And it's...it's a game of curling. 489 00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:10,320 Ah, well, we invented it, but yeah. 490 00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:12,320 Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Right, well, let's crack on. 491 00:22:12,360 --> 00:22:13,880 OK, well, it's a tricky task, 492 00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:17,600 but there's 15 minutes, so plenty of time to plan, etc. 493 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:20,360 Or I guess you could just get it done and go home. 494 00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:21,840 It's Maisie, and yes, it's Sanjeev. 495 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:27,760 So, the first type of object you touch? 496 00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:29,760 HE SIGHS 497 00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:33,840 Well, they're quite heavy. 498 00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:35,280 Um... 499 00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:38,400 I think that means you're touching it, Sanjeev. 500 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:39,520 Well, no. I didn't touch that. 501 00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:40,920 I think you touched the tyre. 502 00:22:42,360 --> 00:22:43,520 Fine. 503 00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:47,480 Oh! They ice? 504 00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:56,000 Aye, ice. 505 00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:57,560 We're going to go ice. 506 00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:11,360 Good for length. Ah, yeah. 507 00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:13,080 The line was a bit off. 508 00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:21,240 That hit a camera. Yes! Brilliant. 509 00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:26,200 Ooh! 510 00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:36,560 AUDIENCE: Ooh! 511 00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:40,360 Happy with that? 512 00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:41,880 Absolutely delighted, Alex. 513 00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:48,000 Slow, slow! 514 00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:50,800 Oh... 515 00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:52,800 That's in another time zone, that one, innit? 516 00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:54,000 Right, you've got one more. 517 00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:55,480 What have you learnt from the first two? 518 00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:57,160 Absolutely nothing. Great. 519 00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:58,240 Shouldn't have come. 520 00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:02,240 Now then... 521 00:24:05,120 --> 00:24:06,480 Oh, charming. 522 00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:08,360 Out the door! 523 00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:10,520 Great, that's near Windsor. 524 00:24:15,360 --> 00:24:16,800 Stop. 525 00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:19,240 Stop! Stop! Stop! 526 00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:20,560 Oh! 527 00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,440 Are you going to, like, doc-... Like, you know, take a picture? 528 00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:26,480 Just cos they're going to melt in a minute. 529 00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:28,040 Yeah, we're filming a lot of this. 530 00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:31,560 LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE 531 00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:40,480 I mean, basically, at that final shot, 532 00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:44,920 there was no sign that you'd ever been part of this. 533 00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:47,680 It's like a metaphor for the futility of life. 534 00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:49,080 The thing is that I... 535 00:24:49,120 --> 00:24:51,120 I get the rules with, you know, the first thing you touch, 536 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:54,400 but I was just moving it up a bit, I wasn't kind of like... Yeah, or... 537 00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:57,640 ..choosing it. Or, as some would say, touching. 538 00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:00,400 Some may interpret it that way. 539 00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:02,960 Maisie, I think this is the most sense we've seen you make. 540 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:04,720 I'm...I had a method, I was like, 541 00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:07,040 "Let's see what weighs more," 542 00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:10,400 cos weight... Yeah. ..weight is to do with distance and something. 543 00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:12,080 Yeah, course, weight. It's science. 544 00:25:12,120 --> 00:25:15,480 Famously, weight's to do with distance. Yeah. Yeah. 545 00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:17,200 Right, we're at the halfway point now, 546 00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:19,800 and as my doctor said in a recent check-up, 547 00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:21,720 "Let's just stop for a little breather. 548 00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:24,480 "I wasn't expecting it to be such a mess down there." 549 00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:27,320 APPLAUSE 550 00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:32,960 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 551 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,960 Hello! Thank you, and welcome back. 552 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:38,280 It's the start of part three, 553 00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:41,160 and our new competitors are trying to stop their objects 554 00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:44,000 as close as possible to the middle of the target. 555 00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:45,400 Three people left to go. 556 00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:48,120 Are they actually good at sport despite their appearances? 557 00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:50,280 It's Ania, Reece and Phil. 558 00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:57,400 I'm going to try to make it easy by going dead centre big ball first. 559 00:25:57,440 --> 00:26:01,240 I'm going to use these little balls to make a thoroughfare. 560 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:02,760 Ooh. 561 00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:09,320 First time I've felt like I've got a good idea. 562 00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:11,560 Right, you have to use that now. 563 00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:13,000 What? You touched that first, 564 00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:15,040 so that's going to be the object you throw. 565 00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:20,600 You're going exercise ball. 566 00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:25,760 So, I'm thinking if I set up a buffer zone behind it... 567 00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:27,200 Nice. 568 00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:31,240 It's really stinky. 569 00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:33,120 We didn't know they were there. OK. 570 00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:38,000 Far too much power. 571 00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:43,000 OK, good to know. 572 00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:45,760 AUDIENCE GASPS 573 00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:48,000 Do me a favour and put your foot on there for me, please, Alex. 574 00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:49,200 Thank you. 575 00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:56,160 It's time for a few more bins. 576 00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:06,200 Ha-ha-ha! This is exciting. 577 00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:11,560 OK, I'm ready. 578 00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:13,800 OK it's all about what I pick now. 579 00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:15,440 I'm going to do this one. 580 00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:16,760 Yes, you are. 581 00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:22,960 That's no good. 582 00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:26,880 That was, uh... 583 00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:30,440 DISTANT RUMBLE AND IMPACT ..disappointing. 584 00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:31,800 Let's go. 585 00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:39,200 ANIA CHUCKLES 586 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:44,960 That were a bit shit, weren't it? 587 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:46,720 The bins still worked. 588 00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:51,560 Oh. And there was me doing that! 589 00:27:56,680 --> 00:27:57,840 Oh, for fuck... 590 00:27:57,880 --> 00:27:59,680 Are you actually joking me? 591 00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:07,720 AUDIENCE: Ooh... 592 00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:12,560 AUDIENCE GROANS Fuck. 593 00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:14,400 Good luck. Ah, thank you. 594 00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:24,040 Is it going to bounce back or...? It's not, is it? 595 00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:26,160 Do you know what happened? The Sellotape stopped it. 596 00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:29,600 25 seconds. This is your last go. 597 00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:54,800 Yes, yes, yes! 598 00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:57,640 Oh, my God, oh, my God. 599 00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:01,560 Ah, it's on the target! 600 00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:05,360 Who'd have thought it'd be that simple? 601 00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:07,520 WHISTLE, APPLAUSE 602 00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:09,280 GREG: Nice. Very nice. 603 00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:11,240 I got stressed. I couldn't remember if it went on. 604 00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:16,520 Reece, what was that device you created? 605 00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:17,800 What was it meant to do? 606 00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:21,040 No, initially I thought I could slow the ball down with the Sellotape. 607 00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:25,200 Like when you see it in America, where they pull spikes across 608 00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:28,320 and the cars get their things punctured. 609 00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:32,320 It all fell down when I accidentally touched the wrong thing first. 610 00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:35,920 He's quite calm and softly spoken in the studio, isn't he? 611 00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:38,640 Hmm. But when he got cross with his catapult, 612 00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:41,680 he went more northern than you've been for the whole show. 613 00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:44,480 EXAGGERATED NORTHERN ACCENT: "And there was me doing that!" 614 00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:49,480 The real latent rage. 615 00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:51,480 I thought Phil's worked amazingly well. 616 00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:54,720 And I think Ania's would've worked as well if she was capable 617 00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:58,560 of rolling a ball in the correct direction. 618 00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:01,440 I mean, incredibly, she is worse than Sanjeev. No offence. 619 00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:05,440 You... I feel like you're ganging up on me. 620 00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:07,680 Yep. Yeah, you are. 621 00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:12,840 Well, I can show you where all their objects ended up. 622 00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:16,160 In fifth place, Ania's was furthest away - 22 badgers. 623 00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:17,520 Fourth, Sanjeev - ten badgers. 624 00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:19,760 We're doing it in badgers. Reece, seven badgers. 625 00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:22,160 Phil, 2.5 badgers, but the winner, with five points, 626 00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:24,400 1.5 badgers - Maisie Adam! 627 00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:26,920 Look at that. 628 00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:30,720 Let's have another task, please. Right you are, 629 00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:33,320 and just like our infamous camping trip together, 630 00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:36,560 this one involves being disgusting in a caravan. 631 00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:58,000 Hello? Hello? Hi. 632 00:30:58,040 --> 00:30:59,160 Oh, hi, Reece. 633 00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:01,880 PHIL: Hi, Alex. 634 00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:03,000 Welcome to the caravan. 635 00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:04,480 Thank you for having me in the caravam. 636 00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:05,520 Cawavan. 637 00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:08,040 The cawavan? Oh, yeah, it's caravan. 638 00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:09,560 Been having a lovely time. You have? 639 00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:11,520 Hmm? Oh, good. You? 640 00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:14,520 Uh... It's all right. Yeah. 641 00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:16,200 I mean, you know, what do you compare it with? 642 00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:18,360 You compare it with kind of the worst times in your life, 643 00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:20,040 and you go, "I'm having a great time." 644 00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:22,640 Yeah. And then you compare it with some of the best times of your life, 645 00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:25,080 and you go, "This is shit." Yeah. So it's... 646 00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:26,680 So, yeah, it's OK. Yeah. 647 00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:30,120 Do you mind me saying you suit the caravan? 648 00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:34,520 I actually do know what you mean. 649 00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:35,560 I was going to be insulted, 650 00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:37,720 but then I was like, "He's completely right." 651 00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:42,280 "Do something behind this curtain... 652 00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:46,480 "..that sounds disgusting but is actually really nice." 653 00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:51,680 "Highest D by N wins, 654 00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:55,640 "where D is your disgustingness score out of ten 655 00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:59,360 "and N is your niceness score out of ten." 656 00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:02,920 So, the swingometer of how horrible it sounds 657 00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:04,920 compared to the reality of how nice it is, 658 00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:07,560 there are more points involved in such a situation. 659 00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:08,600 Is that correct? 660 00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:09,840 That's very well put. 661 00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:11,240 Thank you. 662 00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:14,040 "You have 15 minutes. Your time starts now." 663 00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:15,640 OK, so it's behind this. 664 00:32:15,680 --> 00:32:16,720 Yeah. 665 00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:19,320 If you don't mind. Oh, right. 666 00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:21,000 Little privacy. 667 00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:22,840 I'll be waiting. 668 00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:25,040 You not coming with me to look at it? Do you want me to? 669 00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:26,240 No. 670 00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:30,000 APPLAUSE 671 00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:33,960 You really do suit that caravan. 672 00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:37,520 What I don't... 673 00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:39,720 This is the thing, I don't know whether I... Do you like camping or not? 674 00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:41,400 No! You don't? 675 00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:42,800 No. 676 00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:44,720 Why are you getting so angry about it? 677 00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:46,880 The way Alex said it was quite like, 678 00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:49,720 "I'm going to try and get in your head..." No! 679 00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:51,880 "..and live in there as a worm." 680 00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:56,200 Yeah. Just eating away at your brain. Yeah, it really felt... 681 00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:58,840 ..so in the end you can't even roll a ball in a straight line. 682 00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:03,160 Ready to start? God, yes. 683 00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:05,120 Yuck, urgh, and vomit, 684 00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:07,080 it's Ania, Maisie and Phil. 685 00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:09,040 ANIA: OK, I'm starting my attempt. 686 00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:11,640 WET HISSING 687 00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:14,960 VIGOROUS CHURNING, CLATTERING 688 00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:18,440 PROLONGED LOUD SLURPING 689 00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:20,320 Are you having a nice time? SLURP 690 00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:21,760 Yeah. SHE HACKS 691 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:23,800 I'm going to reveal you. SLURPING, GASPING 692 00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:27,280 SLURPING CONTINUES 693 00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:31,000 SHE SLURPS 694 00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:32,600 GENTLE SMACKING OF LIPS 695 00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:35,120 METALLIC SCRAPING 696 00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:36,880 CHURNING It's really tasty. 697 00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:38,000 I'm going to cover you up again. 698 00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:40,680 Are you sure you don't want to suck a bit off? 699 00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:41,960 OK. 700 00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:45,440 MAISIE: I was just looking through in the kitchen there. 701 00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:48,160 Yeah? Looking for all sorts of various things 702 00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:49,840 that I might be able to use. 703 00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:51,520 And, um... METAL IMPACT 704 00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:52,880 Oh, fuck! Argh! 705 00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:55,920 METAL IMPACT Oh! Please, stop! 706 00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:57,520 RATTLING Whatever, please! 707 00:33:57,560 --> 00:33:58,640 Oh, God, no! 708 00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:00,000 SHE GASPS AND ROARS 709 00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:01,720 Oh, oh, right. Yeah, OK. 710 00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:03,800 Gyeorrhh! CHOKING 711 00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:05,000 Yeah... 712 00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:07,200 RATTLING, CHOKING I'm going to open the curtain. 713 00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:08,440 Eurgh, no! 714 00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:10,240 RATTLING 715 00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:12,400 Don't come in, save yourself. 716 00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:16,120 Making you a nice, uh, fruit smoothie, Alex. 717 00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:19,000 SHE PANTS 718 00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:20,680 You're doing it quite violently. 719 00:34:20,720 --> 00:34:21,720 Yeah. 720 00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:24,440 I would like a little bit of the drink to see if it's nice. 721 00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:27,160 Oh, I'm so sorry. 722 00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:28,600 Well, thank you. 723 00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:32,040 Ooh! Nice? 724 00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:34,240 Mm. Very nice. There you go. 725 00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:35,480 PHIL: OK. 726 00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:39,360 SLOPPY RATTLING 727 00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:42,120 RATTLING, SPLASHING 728 00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:43,880 Are you all right to keep doing it for a bit? 729 00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:46,480 PHIL LAUGHS, MUFFLED Yeah, if my calf muscles are. 730 00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:47,960 Your calf muscles? 731 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,440 RATTLING, SQUELCHING 732 00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:53,480 I need to know what it is you're doing, I'm going to have a look. 733 00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:54,680 Here I come. 734 00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:03,080 What are you doing? 735 00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:04,600 MOUTH FULL: What does it look like I'm doing? 736 00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:07,400 I'm rubbing my feet in gravy, 737 00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:09,760 and eating a mixture of chocolate sauce 738 00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:12,560 and crumbled up non-product-specific biscuits. 739 00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:14,520 I'm having a bloody great time. 740 00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:16,400 "Nice"?! Bloody lovely. 741 00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:20,440 SPLASHING AND RATTLING RESUMES 742 00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:26,840 Right. Right. 743 00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:27,960 Caravan girl. 744 00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:31,200 When the curtain went back, I mean, 745 00:35:31,240 --> 00:35:32,880 you were eating yoghurt with your fingers. 746 00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:34,720 It wasn't! No, it wasn't yoghurt. 747 00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:36,800 What was it? It was whipped cream and sugar. 748 00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:38,400 But it was really tasty, 749 00:35:38,440 --> 00:35:40,720 and I ate it for quite a long time. 750 00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:41,960 But this is where it's tricky, you see, 751 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:43,640 because if it was nice for you, 752 00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:45,320 I'll have to take your word for it. 753 00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:47,640 It wasn't nice watching you eat that with your fingers. 754 00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:50,800 Alex told me that you would be really jealous of it. 755 00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:53,080 IRKED: Oh. Oh, did he? 756 00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:57,320 Phil's is tricky, because what I'm learning about Phil is 757 00:35:57,360 --> 00:35:58,640 he's so upbeat about everything, 758 00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:01,040 he'd sort of sell anything as being nice, really. 759 00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:03,120 I think he genuinely was having a wonderful time. 760 00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:05,040 I was. Yeah, I mean, I... 761 00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:09,440 I would've been doing that if I wasn't on the show anyway, but... 762 00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:11,120 Was it warm gravy? 763 00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:13,000 No that was... That was where we fell a bit short. 764 00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:15,280 It was... I could feel the granules between my toes. 765 00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:17,360 Ah. AUDIENCE GROANS 766 00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:20,160 Your noise, Maisie, where it got sinister, and I wrote it down, 767 00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:24,080 was when you shouted, "Please, stop." 768 00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:28,120 I think I'm now realising that the two things had to be the...same. 769 00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:30,640 I just pretended to be attacked, and then made a cocktail. 770 00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:32,600 And then made a cocktail. 771 00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:35,760 Very much separate activities, yeah. 772 00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:37,720 OK, let's stop once again, 773 00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:40,480 and, as my doctor said to me at a recent check-up, 774 00:36:40,520 --> 00:36:43,880 "Just one final push left. Relax, loosen up a bit. 775 00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:45,280 "Hey, stop squirming! 776 00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:48,560 "Nurse, nurse! Help me! He keeps biting!" 777 00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:50,920 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 778 00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:56,800 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 779 00:36:56,840 --> 00:36:59,800 Hello! Welcome back to the final part of the show, 780 00:36:59,840 --> 00:37:04,000 where the cast are tricking us into thinking they're being disgusting. 781 00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:06,800 The final attempts come from two neighbours over there, 782 00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:09,640 it's Sanjeev from Number 42, and Reece from Number 9. 783 00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:13,040 STRAINING You OK in there, Reece? 784 00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:18,800 WET TOOTING AND SQUEAKING REVERBERATES 785 00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:22,120 REECE GRUNTS AND SIGHS, TOOTING RESUMES 786 00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:24,800 Hello, Sanjeev. CAVEMAN-LIKE GRUNTING 787 00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:26,760 CAVEMAN COMMUNICATION CONTINUES 788 00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:28,400 SANJEEV IMITATES EXPLOSION 789 00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:30,600 HE HOOTS AND BLOWS RASPBERRIES 790 00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:32,600 Bub-bub-bub-bub-bub! HE BLOWS RASPBERRY 791 00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:34,200 Right, Sanjeev... Yep? 792 00:37:34,240 --> 00:37:35,760 I'm going to have a look at you. OK. 793 00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:37,600 I want to check you're OK. OK. 794 00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:39,160 SANJEEV BLOWS RASPBERRY 795 00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:41,320 I'm going to come and have a look. 796 00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:44,440 OK. Be prepared, it's not disgusting. 797 00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:45,680 SQUEAK 798 00:37:45,720 --> 00:37:47,440 TOOT REVERBERATES 799 00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:50,000 WET TOOT 800 00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:54,880 BABY-TALK 801 00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:56,120 HE CHUFFS 802 00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:57,680 Got a little baby in there? 803 00:37:57,720 --> 00:37:59,240 HE BLOWS RASPBERRY Yes. 804 00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:02,160 Multicoloured sausage mobile with disco ball. 805 00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:03,600 Uh-huh. Kids love that. 806 00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:06,160 So you're babysitting? I am babysitting, yeah. 807 00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:07,720 TOOT 808 00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:11,080 What I'm doing is sending the duck to a happy sleep. 809 00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:14,880 And he's dreaming the word "thank you". 810 00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:16,200 He liked it, did he? 811 00:38:16,240 --> 00:38:18,200 I think... Well, look at the duck. 812 00:38:18,240 --> 00:38:19,600 But if you want to close that now, 813 00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:21,800 so that I can get him actually to fall asleep. Sure, OK. 814 00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:23,440 Deep sleep. Sorry to disturb you. 815 00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:24,720 That's all right. All right. 816 00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:27,600 WET TOOTING RESUMES 817 00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:32,840 I'd like to see the baby. Do you want to s-...? OK. 818 00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:41,320 Oh. Yeah. Beautiful baby. 819 00:38:41,360 --> 00:38:43,040 Thank you. APPLAUSE 820 00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:52,480 Reece, I...I'm no expert in how one soothes a duck. 821 00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:55,120 ALEX LAUGHS 822 00:38:55,160 --> 00:38:57,880 Well, I hit upon the idea that the duck would enjoy 823 00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:01,080 the sound of something that was similar to a duck quacking. 824 00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:03,320 But it... Oh. So that was what I was trying to do. 825 00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:04,920 I thought it sounded a bit like a duck whistle, 826 00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:07,720 which famously draw the ducks out to be shot. Yes. 827 00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:09,480 Yeah, oh, well, 828 00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:11,640 it was a bit of both I think. Sounding bad, 829 00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:14,520 and then it being revealed to be quite a charming thing. 830 00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:19,240 Now, do you think that the sort of nice element of Sanjeev's attempt 831 00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:22,000 was somewhat compromised by it being revealed that 832 00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:24,880 the baby was in fact a beheaded old woman? 833 00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:28,440 All babies are beautiful. 834 00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:30,840 Yes. Yeah. They are. 835 00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:33,280 Even those who are old, without a body. 836 00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:37,120 Well, they have old faces and no body, 837 00:39:37,160 --> 00:39:39,640 but they change. They grow. 838 00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:41,120 They grow a body. 839 00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:43,240 They... You don't have children, Greg. 840 00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:44,800 You don't have children. I don't have children. 841 00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:46,560 I did see my nieces when they were babies, 842 00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:48,800 and they definitely didn't just look like a head. 843 00:39:51,160 --> 00:39:53,720 It's a really tough one to score, this. Well, there's a bit of maths. 844 00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:56,440 I guess you can tell me how disgusting you found them all, 845 00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:57,560 and then how nice you found them all. 846 00:39:57,600 --> 00:39:58,680 Yeah, OK. 847 00:39:58,720 --> 00:40:01,360 So, Ania - what's her disgustingness score out of ten, Greg? 848 00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:04,720 Well, it sounded absolutely disgusting. Nine. Nine! Yeah. 849 00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:06,000 Terrific. And the niceness? 850 00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:08,000 Well, she says she's having a nice time, 851 00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:09,080 so I'm going to take her word for it, 852 00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:11,280 but I didn't enjoy watching it, so seven. 853 00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:13,720 Cool. Nine times seven... 854 00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:16,600 LAUGHTER 855 00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:18,320 So Ania, 63. 856 00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:19,720 Maisie. 857 00:40:19,760 --> 00:40:22,600 OK. The cocktail looked absolutely delicious. 858 00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:23,720 Ah, it was, yeah. It was lovely. 859 00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:24,920 Looked like you were having a lovely time, 860 00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:27,640 so that, I mean, it's a delicious nine. 861 00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:28,680 Thank you. 862 00:40:28,720 --> 00:40:33,000 Yeah, but no way does that cocktail involve those noises, 863 00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:35,440 a person being horribly attacked. 864 00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:36,880 Two. Two? 865 00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:38,120 Two times nine. 18. Two? 866 00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:40,760 Right, so we've got high and low. 63, 18. 867 00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:42,160 Phil. Going to get complicated. Phil. 868 00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:43,680 Let's go all the way up the line. This'll do it. 869 00:40:43,720 --> 00:40:45,200 Wow, the noises were awful. 870 00:40:45,240 --> 00:40:46,640 Horrible, disgusting. Nine. 871 00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:47,720 Nine. Another nine. 872 00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:50,200 And then, when it was revealed, he was having the time of his life. 873 00:40:50,240 --> 00:40:54,840 Yeah, yeah. And he's northern, so why not pop your feet in gravy? 874 00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:56,680 I'm not from the north, but I presume it's great. 875 00:40:56,720 --> 00:40:58,240 They squat and they, uh... 876 00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:00,560 They squat. Yeah. 877 00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:02,360 I'm a bit intrigued by you saying, "They squat." 878 00:41:03,680 --> 00:41:05,240 I just think it's important to remember... 879 00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:07,000 What was it? What do people from the north do? 880 00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:08,440 They squat and they lick. 881 00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:10,600 You know that. 882 00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:12,200 So it's nine times... 883 00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:14,840 Eight. Eight. Ooh! 884 00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:16,080 Which is... 885 00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:19,280 LAUGHTER 886 00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:22,040 I do know my eight times table. 887 00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:24,160 Nine times eight is 72. 888 00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:25,320 Yeah. Right. 72. 889 00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:26,920 But you're doing that little smug thing 890 00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:28,320 like I don't know my times tables. 891 00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:29,720 I'll fuck you up, mate. 892 00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:32,680 I'll fuck you up, how about that? 893 00:41:32,720 --> 00:41:35,040 Do you understand those maths? 894 00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:36,240 Fucking prick. 895 00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:40,000 Who's next? 896 00:41:40,040 --> 00:41:41,160 It's Reece next. 897 00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:42,760 I could tell that he was blowing a trumpet. 898 00:41:42,800 --> 00:41:44,320 It didn't sound that disgusting. 899 00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:45,720 Seven. Seven for that. 900 00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:47,840 The reveal, I don't know ducks, 901 00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:49,360 but there was a bubble coming out of his head. Eight. 902 00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:51,040 Yeah, eight. And we know eight times seven, don't we? 903 00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:53,240 We all know eight times seven. We all know eight times seven! 904 00:41:57,920 --> 00:41:59,200 Don't we? 905 00:41:59,240 --> 00:42:00,600 Yeah. What is it? 906 00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:01,720 It's loads. 907 00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:05,280 Phil, what's eight times 7? 908 00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:08,040 Well, I mean, but what is a number, you know? Like... 909 00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:11,200 Good? Good! 910 00:42:11,240 --> 00:42:12,600 OK, so we've got Sanjeev. 911 00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:15,400 Yeah. Well, it sounded absolutely disgusting. 912 00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:16,680 Great. Like a nine. 913 00:42:16,720 --> 00:42:18,400 Nine disgusting. Niceness? 914 00:42:18,440 --> 00:42:20,280 Um, I don't know why I'm charmed by it. 915 00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:21,720 Nine. Whoa! 916 00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:23,520 81 for Sanjeev. 917 00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:24,720 There we go. 918 00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:33,520 OK, Maisie you got 18, your score, so that's one point. 919 00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:36,960 In fourth place, it's Reece, with 56 as your score, 920 00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:38,200 so that's two points. 921 00:42:38,240 --> 00:42:41,760 Ania, you're in third place, you scored 63 - three points. 922 00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:43,680 Phil, 72, four points 923 00:42:43,720 --> 00:42:46,080 but Sanjeev gets the full five points with 81. 924 00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:47,520 Well done, Sanjeev. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 925 00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:51,360 All right, everybody, will you make your way to the stage 926 00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:56,200 for this series' first final task of the show? 927 00:42:56,240 --> 00:43:00,400 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 928 00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:08,000 Hello, young fellow-my-lad. Hi, Greg. 929 00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:10,200 Who will be reading the task out? 930 00:43:10,240 --> 00:43:13,320 Sanjeev will, please. Ah. 931 00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:15,840 "End up on your spot. 932 00:43:15,880 --> 00:43:18,840 "You must obey the Taskmaster's instructions. 933 00:43:18,880 --> 00:43:22,440 "Closest person to their spot at the end of the task wins." 934 00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:23,880 So it's quite a simple task. 935 00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:25,680 They're all standing on spots. 936 00:43:25,720 --> 00:43:27,440 At the end of the task, you need to be as close 937 00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:29,000 to your spot as possible. 938 00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:31,080 I have the health and safety whistle. 939 00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:33,440 If there's danger, I'll blow it. Please stop. 940 00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:37,280 First instruction, please. 941 00:43:37,320 --> 00:43:41,400 Completely cover your eyes. 942 00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:43,000 Using one of these. 943 00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:47,400 Pop these on. Nice and tight, please, guys. 944 00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:48,800 Nice and tight. 945 00:43:48,840 --> 00:43:51,200 Oop. Oh, no, 946 00:43:51,240 --> 00:43:53,200 Are they completely...? 947 00:43:53,240 --> 00:43:54,760 MAISIE: What's happened? 948 00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:56,880 Nothing to worry about, one of Sanjeev's eyes fell off. 949 00:43:56,920 --> 00:43:57,920 Oh. 950 00:43:57,960 --> 00:44:02,360 OK. March on the spot until the end of the task. 951 00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:04,880 So that means, whatever happens, you must keep marching. 952 00:44:07,520 --> 00:44:09,840 Spin 360 degrees. 953 00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:19,760 Continue to march on the spot but with higher knees. 954 00:44:25,160 --> 00:44:27,000 WHISTLE Just, just, uh... 955 00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:28,520 just be careful, just be careful, just be careful. 956 00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:35,840 Take two big steps backwards. 957 00:44:35,880 --> 00:44:40,120 Keep marching. That's plenty, Sanjeev. 958 00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:42,320 That's plenty, Sanjeev. 959 00:44:44,360 --> 00:44:45,400 Next instruction, please. 960 00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:48,480 Take two nice big steps... 961 00:44:48,520 --> 00:44:50,640 ..to the left. 962 00:44:54,080 --> 00:44:55,480 Oh, Maisie! 963 00:44:57,480 --> 00:44:59,320 You're fine. 964 00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:00,840 You're fine, you're fine. 965 00:45:02,960 --> 00:45:06,720 Take two nice big steps forward. 966 00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:12,000 Forward...forward. 967 00:45:12,040 --> 00:45:13,800 That's fine, you're right on the edge. 968 00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:23,480 Take two nice wide steps to the right. 969 00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:26,640 Go back a bit, mate. 970 00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:30,400 Where's the edge? Where's the edge? 971 00:45:30,440 --> 00:45:32,120 Don't worry, don't worry. False alarm. 972 00:45:32,160 --> 00:45:33,640 Keep marching. 973 00:45:33,680 --> 00:45:36,680 Jump quite high twice. 974 00:45:36,720 --> 00:45:38,240 Oof! 975 00:45:40,240 --> 00:45:43,280 March on the spot flamboyantly. 976 00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:50,760 Stop! WHISTLE 977 00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:53,120 Please freeze in those positions. 978 00:45:53,160 --> 00:45:56,080 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 979 00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:57,640 Was it all a dream? 980 00:45:57,680 --> 00:45:59,800 How did I end up facing that way? 981 00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:03,560 We'll score those and we'll add it to your final scores. 982 00:46:03,600 --> 00:46:05,360 Come down here and join me! 983 00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:14,520 Well, well, well. Hmm. 984 00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:15,800 Genuinely dangerous. 985 00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:18,280 Yes, they should have been wearing protective clothing. 986 00:46:18,320 --> 00:46:20,840 They should. Or we should have put a mat down. 987 00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:24,120 Or we should have thought it through more. Still, 988 00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:26,080 the thing was, they were meant to stay on their spots. 989 00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:27,240 They didn't really do that. 990 00:46:27,280 --> 00:46:28,280 Reece, you were the furthest, 991 00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:30,240 you get one point at the end of that. 992 00:46:30,280 --> 00:46:31,280 Phil, two points. 993 00:46:31,320 --> 00:46:32,520 Sanjeev, you came third, three points. 994 00:46:32,560 --> 00:46:34,560 Second place, Maisie, four points. 995 00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:35,720 Ania, you were the closest at the end. 996 00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:37,640 You get the full five points! Well done. 997 00:46:37,680 --> 00:46:40,160 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 998 00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:42,160 So? And so it's a tighter first episode 999 00:46:42,200 --> 00:46:44,760 than some of us were expecting at the beginning. 1000 00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:46,400 At the bottom, it's Sanjeev with 12 points, 1001 00:46:46,440 --> 00:46:48,400 but our first winner, with 19 points, 1002 00:46:48,440 --> 00:46:52,120 it's Maisie Adam! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1003 00:46:52,160 --> 00:46:53,560 Maisie Adam wins! 1004 00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:56,200 Please, go and celebrate with some soft things 1005 00:46:56,240 --> 00:46:58,920 I would benefit from having, but I'm not getting! 1006 00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:01,560 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1007 00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:25,800 Subtitles by Red Bee Media