1 00:00:02,360 --> 00:00:03,560 Oh, no. 2 00:00:05,560 --> 00:00:06,560 Hello? 3 00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:12,040 This programme contains strong language and adult humour 4 00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:14,720 OK. 5 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:18,880 Ah! 6 00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:21,680 Nothing's ever straightforward in this stupid house. 7 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:37,040 Yes, hello! Welcome to Taskmaster, 8 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:39,680 the show that is as meaningful as an old man sweeping up 9 00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:43,560 autumnal leaves only to have them blown across the garden overnight. 10 00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:46,800 And yet, five people want to take part. Why? 11 00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:48,960 Ego? A competitive streak? 12 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:51,760 Well, according to a chat I just had in the green room 13 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:53,040 with one of the competitors, 14 00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:56,720 it's no more complicated than an unhappy home life. 15 00:00:57,800 --> 00:00:59,920 Let's play on and welcome them. 16 00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:01,800 Ania Magliano... 17 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:05,760 ..Maisie Adam... 18 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:07,920 ..Phil Ellis... 19 00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:10,720 ..Reece Shearsmith... 20 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:12,440 ..and Sanjeev Bhaskar. 21 00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:18,800 And next to me, a man who once told me that there isn't 22 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:22,440 a single presenter in the ITV daytime schedule that he 23 00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:30,240 hasn't thought about when having solo fun time... 24 00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:32,200 ..it's little Alex Horne! 25 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:34,840 Hello. 26 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,080 Thank you. 27 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:39,800 Let's have a look at the prize task. 28 00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:42,240 What an outstanding idea from the opulent orca! 29 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:44,640 And this time they've brought in 30 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:47,440 the present that would most make you say this if you received it 31 00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:48,880 on your birthday, 32 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:52,360 "Oh, that's just the most gorgeous gift ever." 33 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:54,800 Greg will give five points to the best one and they will all go home 34 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:57,120 with the episode winner whether they like it or not. 35 00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:58,640 Over to you, Greg. 36 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:01,280 First then, Reece. 37 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:03,920 What do you think I think is gorgeous? 38 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:09,160 I fashioned, from an old doll's house, a haunted house. 39 00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:13,360 So if you want to see what it was when I initially got it off eBay... 40 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,360 And this is what Reece made. 41 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:18,600 Wow! Oh, that is lovely. 42 00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:21,440 It's gorgeous and opulent. Thank you. 43 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:22,920 This is Reece is in action. 44 00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:24,760 So you actually did do it, as well. 45 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:27,400 Yeah. I made the pumpkins. Yeah. 46 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:29,680 Put the glass in the windows, broke the windows, 47 00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:31,800 curtains, and also, it lights up. 48 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:33,880 I put lights in it. 49 00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:36,160 Look at that. Oh, look at that. 50 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:39,160 I mean, we're looking at, what, a day's work there? 51 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:41,440 Two weeks, Greg. 52 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:43,800 Nonstop. Up in the mornings. 53 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:46,520 Getting up, setting the alarm, going downstairs. 54 00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:47,720 Spraying, painting. 55 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:49,200 You got up then set the alarm? 56 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:51,840 No, no, that was the other way round. 57 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,120 14 days? 58 00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:54,360 Yes! 59 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:56,360 Wow, gorgeous. It's gorgeous. There you go. 60 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:59,200 What a disappointingly positive start. 61 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:00,600 Don't worry - Phil. 62 00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:03,480 It's a picture of Phil with a mayor. 63 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:04,880 There we are. 64 00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:11,520 That's not just any mayor. No. 65 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:13,600 That's the mayor of Preston. 66 00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:16,160 Ooh, the big one. 67 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:18,360 Speaking of big ones, what's that behind him? 68 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:21,080 Well, it's the biggest bus station in Europe. Wow. 69 00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:22,320 It's Preston bus station. 70 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:24,240 And I'm wearing a Preston North End shirt, 71 00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:26,640 holding a Preston guild plate. Is it a plate? 72 00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:29,760 Yeah, and I had to find a way to meet the mayor 73 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:31,640 and it's a lot easier than you think. 74 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:35,600 Very good. Ania. 75 00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:37,320 I wrote a book. 76 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:38,680 Ooh. 77 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:42,920 And I wrote a book of all the gossip I've heard in my life. 78 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:44,000 Wow. 79 00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:46,120 It's a lovely book. It's a big book. It's a gorgeous looking book. 80 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:48,920 It's a gorgeous book and I wrote a title for it as well. 81 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:52,560 She genuinely did do this. 82 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,120 Yeah. There's 100 pages. 83 00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:57,040 Of just malicious chitchat? 84 00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:58,400 Greg, look at this. Ooh! 85 00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:00,800 Oh, it's like a serial killer's diary. 86 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:02,600 That is insane. 87 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:06,240 Is, uh, "I don't really know what the Magna Carta is..." 88 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:10,920 ..is that gossipy? 89 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:13,480 This is the introduction page. 90 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:15,880 Is "gossip" gorgeous? Yeah. 91 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:18,880 Not according to the points I've just given you. 92 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:19,920 Greg! 93 00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:22,480 Maisie. 94 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:25,880 I've got you, Greg, a ball on the end of a string. 95 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:27,840 OK. No, no, no, no, no. 96 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:28,960 You might be back in the game. 97 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:32,680 No, no, no, no, no, no. I did some digging. 98 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:34,920 And I found a chat forum 99 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:36,520 of people who had encountered 100 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:38,960 Greg Davies throughout their life. 101 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:40,400 It's very personal 102 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:42,160 because I found on this chat forum someone 103 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:45,600 who was taught by you when you were a teacher. Oh, God. 104 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:47,840 "I had him as a drama teacher for a year. 105 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:50,200 "I don't remember him doing a lot of teaching 106 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:52,880 "and we mostly pissed around in class. 107 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:58,120 "His warm up exercise was swinging a ball attached to a rope 108 00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:01,760 "around the room that you had to jump over and duck under." 109 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:11,560 The '90s were a different time in education. Different time. 110 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:12,640 Only one left now, Greg. 111 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,680 Hello, Sanjeev. Have you brought something gorgeous? 112 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:16,760 I, well, something that would make you say, 113 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:18,480 "This is the most gorgeous thing ever." 114 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:21,280 I kind of made something that was practical. 115 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:23,320 Oh... 116 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:24,640 It is a tea towel. 117 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:29,320 But it's this tea towel, Greg. 118 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:37,200 Clever. Clever. It's clever. 119 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:38,640 But it's cleverly tricked me into saying, 120 00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:39,920 "It's the most gorgeous gift ever." 121 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:41,680 What do you mean trick you? Nobody made you do anything. 122 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:43,480 You just read that and then you said that out loud. 123 00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:45,040 You said the thing that was in the task. 124 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:50,360 All right, all right, I'll drop the lawsuit. 125 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:52,440 OK, let's go. Right. 126 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:55,520 I thought the stones on the outside of the book were truly gorgeous 127 00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:56,680 but then inside, 128 00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:59,560 it was just horrible, spiteful, malicious gossip. 129 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:00,600 OK, one point to Ania. 130 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:02,840 One point to Ania. Got it. Um... 131 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:06,360 Is it gorgeous, me being reminded what a terrible teacher I was? 132 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,440 It was nice and fun! 133 00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:11,880 No. Two points. Two points to Maisie. 134 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:13,840 Three points to Sanjeev. 135 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:17,040 I enjoyed the trick but it wasn't an especially gorgeous item. 136 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:19,400 I don't know why I found Phil standing next to 137 00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:21,480 a mayor gorgeous. Four points. 138 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:24,840 And of course, you know, any man who isolates himself for 139 00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:28,600 a fortnight, painting a ghost house - gorgeous. Five points. 140 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:33,960 Let's crack on. 141 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:35,000 Yes, I think we should, Greg. 142 00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:38,680 And just like when I go to a trendy nightclub in any capital city, 143 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:41,560 this one involves everyone trying to get my number. 144 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:50,760 One, two, three, four, two, two, three, four, start. 145 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:53,680 You all right? 146 00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:55,080 Yeah, I've decided to have a seat. 147 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:59,960 You looked a bit, I don't know, pensive, worried. Everything OK? 148 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,760 Yeah, pretty accurate. 149 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:02,800 Oh, hi. 150 00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:04,320 When are you going to learn? 151 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:05,960 You keep dragging me back in here to do things. 152 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:08,520 Yeah. Well, I've got to be here. 153 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:10,560 What you been up to? It's not that sort of situation. 154 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:11,960 OK, let's crack on, then. 155 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,720 Shall I go into the task? 156 00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:15,760 Yes. 157 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:17,160 Happy birthday, is it? 158 00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:19,480 Is it your birthday? 159 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:20,600 Well... Ah. 160 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,880 Hmm. It is this year. 161 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:24,160 Capricorn? 162 00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:29,920 This? That's for you. Yeah. These are mine. 163 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:34,720 20 beads. Mm-hm. Yeah, nice. 164 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:37,600 You know, I come from a hinterland of culture 165 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:39,080 which contains many beads. 166 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:42,320 In fact, people go there to buy beads. 167 00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:43,960 Where are you from? 168 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:45,400 Well, I was born in West London. 169 00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:48,040 Yeah. Yeah. 170 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:49,800 Cool, well, if you want to open the task? Yeah. 171 00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:52,400 What number has Alex written down? 172 00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:55,480 You may ask no more than 20 questions. 173 00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:57,560 Alex may only say "yes" or "no." 174 00:07:57,600 --> 00:08:01,440 And you must be increasingly surprised by every answer. 175 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:03,040 Your time starts now. 176 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:09,120 And ends when you say the correct number or ask your 20th question. 177 00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:11,920 OK, and you can only answer yes or no? 178 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,480 Yes. 179 00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:17,800 Ooh! 180 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:22,760 Hmmm. Ah! 181 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:24,240 Interesting. 182 00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:26,080 Very much so. 183 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:30,400 You've gone in pretty surprised early doors there, haven't you? 184 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:32,400 Yeah, I pitched it far too much, yeah. 185 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:35,840 God, by the end you're going to just be screaming, aren't you? 186 00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:37,040 LOUDER: Ooh! 187 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:39,800 Great. Let's crack on with it. 188 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:42,360 Right, well, first to become increasingly surprised 189 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:47,800 whilst guessing my number are Maisie, Reecey and Philly. 190 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:52,040 Is your number between one and ten? 191 00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:54,040 No. Hmm. 192 00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:55,080 Single digits? 193 00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:56,280 No. Hmm. 194 00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:58,080 Higher than 50? 195 00:08:58,120 --> 00:08:59,680 Yes. Ooh! 196 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:03,360 Is the number by any chance a prime number? 197 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:04,560 No. 198 00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:09,360 Wish I knew what a prime number was, cos that is a good question. 199 00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:11,280 Is your number... 200 00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:12,680 ..lower than 50? 201 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:14,960 Three numbers? Is it between one and 100? 202 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,280 No... No... No... 203 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:17,360 HE CLEARS HIS THROAT 204 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:19,120 Oh. 205 00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:20,480 Is your number, er... 206 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:25,280 ..63? 207 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:26,400 No. 208 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:28,520 You're kidding? 209 00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:30,000 It's not under 100? 210 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:31,920 No. Is it over 100? 211 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:34,080 Yes. 212 00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:38,280 If you were playing for this number in pounds, would it be higher than 213 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:43,960 the £64,000 question on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? 214 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:47,160 Yes. Yes! 215 00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:49,320 I've lost track of where the numbers are. I know. 216 00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:52,880 I've lost track of the numbers it is and isn't beginning with. I know. 217 00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:54,920 I've wasted so many questions, haven't I? 218 00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:56,520 Yes. 219 00:09:56,560 --> 00:09:58,640 I don't think I care what the number is. 220 00:09:58,680 --> 00:10:00,280 That's the tricky thing, you know? 221 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:01,320 Hmm. 222 00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:02,360 PHONE RINGS 223 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:05,960 Is your number on the end of that telephone? 224 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,160 No. Right... 225 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:12,080 PHONE RINGS I'm just going to take this call. 226 00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:16,360 Hello, Lil Wayne, Maisie speaking. 227 00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:18,000 360. 228 00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:25,600 Is your number 360? 229 00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:27,560 No. 230 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:29,840 That's insane! 231 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:32,440 Is the number in this room? 232 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:33,760 Yes, I've written it down. 233 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:37,000 I could just find the number, couldn't I? 234 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:38,080 Yes. 235 00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:39,800 Right. Blooming heck. 236 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:41,880 Try not to ask me any more questions, I would say. 237 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:43,520 Why's that? Oh. 238 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,320 Is your number, um...? 239 00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:48,720 What do you know about my number at this stage, Reece? 240 00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:50,000 It's higher than 50. 241 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:51,520 That took you 11 questions. 242 00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:53,400 Wait a minute, what the fuck's this? 243 00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:58,880 Is the number you've written down the answer to this? 244 00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:01,120 Yes. 245 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:04,120 Well, don't we have a conundrum? 246 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:05,360 Is that a question? 247 00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:08,000 Has your number got a one in it? 248 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:09,320 Yes. No! 249 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,880 Is the one in the number, your number, 250 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:13,120 at the beginning of the number? 251 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:14,960 Yes. Now we're getting somewhere! 252 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:19,240 Is the second number a number between one and ten? 253 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:20,280 No. 254 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:22,480 Is the number...second number is zero? 255 00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:24,120 Yes, but you've only got one question left. 256 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:26,520 Right OK. Is your number...? 257 00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:27,920 This is the final question. 258 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:29,960 Right, yes, of course! I know. 259 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:33,520 Is your number ten? 260 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:35,440 ALEX LAUGHS 261 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:39,040 No. 262 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:42,320 The answer is 8,500. 263 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:43,440 OK. 264 00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:45,320 Is your number three? But that's... Then that's... 265 00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:46,880 I'm fine with that, honestly. Yeah? 266 00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:48,680 Three? Yeah. No. No? Right. 267 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:49,840 See ya. See ya. 268 00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:51,080 Have a nice day. 269 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:54,880 APPLAUSE 270 00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:58,480 One of your questions... 271 00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:00,360 I'm just interested in your thinking here. 272 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:03,800 ..was, "Is the number above 64,000?" 273 00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:05,880 Yeah, well, I knew that it was... 274 00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:07,760 It was a big net, right? 275 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:09,760 So I was like, it's somewhere between one and a million. 276 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:11,720 What else is between one and a million? 277 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:14,640 The prizes on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. 278 00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:17,320 What's around halfway? 64 grand. 279 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:18,680 Yeah. But I did say... 280 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:20,400 Oh, halfway to a million? 281 00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:24,040 No, no. Fuck off. 282 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:28,800 Halfway through the process of the show 283 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:31,560 is around 64 grand when you, you... 284 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:33,240 Yeah, but I said, "Yes, it's over that," 285 00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:34,600 and your final answer was three. 286 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:38,240 Do you think this is going to be your angry episode? 287 00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:41,520 Yeah, I do. Do you think you'll come up with a decent task? 288 00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:46,480 And I think you were the only one who got more surprised every time. 289 00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:50,240 I'm glad you noticed that, Mr Taskmaster. 290 00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:53,760 Phil, I don't think you showed any expression of surprise throughout, 291 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:56,880 and largely... I cannot believe! 292 00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:00,680 Were you taught drama by him? 293 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:08,960 We're going to nip off for a break now, 294 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:11,600 but not before Alex has tried out his new joke. 295 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:12,920 Oh, great, OK. Thank you, Greg. 296 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:14,360 Pan Asian? 297 00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:16,200 I just call it a wok. 298 00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:19,720 TOTAL SILENCE 299 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:21,920 Wok's the time? It's time for a break. 300 00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:24,960 LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE, CHEERING 301 00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:32,080 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 302 00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:37,480 Well, hello. Thank you. 303 00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:39,680 Welcome back to part two of Taskmaster, 304 00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:42,480 where we are in the thick of a numerical task. 305 00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:45,840 Yes, they're trying to work out what number I've written down. 306 00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:47,200 They have 20 questions, 307 00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:49,640 and must be increasingly surprised by every answer. 308 00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:50,880 Without giving too much away, 309 00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:52,720 Maisie, Reece and Phil were awful. 310 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:56,960 Now let's see if Ania and Sanjeev can do any better. 311 00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:00,320 I'm going to be very strict about what is a question. 312 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:04,640 OK. Well, a question is one that goes up the end, isn't it? 313 00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:06,360 Yeah. Uh... So that's one. 314 00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:08,400 Excellent. 315 00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:12,320 Is the number somewhere I can see in this room? 316 00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:14,480 No. 317 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:17,720 Have you looked? Was that a, "Have you looked?" 318 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:19,840 That was a question, yeah. Yes. 319 00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:22,240 But you asked me a question then, so maybe I get one back. 320 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:26,160 No. 321 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,360 Where are you taking them? 322 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:32,040 Oh, no that was a question! 323 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:35,960 Is the number you've written down between zero and 100? 324 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,080 100 and 1,000? 325 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:38,920 Between 1,000 and 10,000? 326 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:40,520 No. No. No. 327 00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:41,600 OK. 328 00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:43,160 PHONE RINGS 329 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:44,920 ANIA GASPS There's a phone! 330 00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:47,440 Lil Wayne? 331 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:48,840 He's always calling. 332 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:53,640 Is the number that you've written down a telephone number? 333 00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:55,080 No. 334 00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:57,320 Then that is even more stupid, that ringing, 335 00:14:57,360 --> 00:14:59,760 than I first thought it was. All right, OK. 336 00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:02,960 Hello! OVER PHONE: 120. 337 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,080 PHONE CONTINUES RINGING Have you actually written down a number? 338 00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:06,240 Yes. 339 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:07,840 I need you to be more surprised. 340 00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:10,440 Pfft! Fucking hell! 341 00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:12,680 I'm losing the will to live here. 342 00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:14,120 Is the number 120? 343 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:15,160 No. SHE GASPS 344 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:18,320 Have you written down the number in this room? 345 00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:20,200 Yes. 346 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:21,640 Right. 347 00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:24,800 RUMMAGING 348 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,800 Does the number have emotional significance to you? 349 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:29,520 Yes. 350 00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:31,240 Is the number your birthday? 351 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:34,880 Yes. 352 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:37,600 PHONE RINGS 353 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:41,560 Mum? 354 00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:44,880 No, that's my wife. Maybe don't answer that. 355 00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:47,240 I don't call her mum. But my children do. 356 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:50,080 I don't want to know what goes on in that relationship. 357 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:59,280 I'm going to ask your wife for some details about you. 358 00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:00,600 You're telling me or asking me? 359 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:02,000 I'm telling you. OK. 360 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:03,640 It's got a full stop at the end. 361 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:06,120 Hello? Hi, this isn't Alex. 362 00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:07,320 Can I ask you a question? 363 00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:08,880 I've managed to get hold of his phone. 364 00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:10,320 That's a question. 365 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:12,680 If I had a mallet, I could just smash through this, couldn't I? 366 00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:14,560 You don't need a mallet for this task. 367 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:15,880 LAUGHING: Yes, of course. 368 00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:17,880 When's his birthday? 369 00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:22,320 His birthday... 370 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:23,840 I always get this wrong. 371 00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:27,800 No! 10th of September '78. 372 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,480 Is the answer 1-0-0-9-7-8? 373 00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:34,560 Is the number 10-09-78? 374 00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:35,800 Yes. 375 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:37,280 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 376 00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:38,520 Thank you, Sanjeev. 377 00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:39,560 Thank you very much. 378 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:44,800 Sanjeev did pretty well there. 379 00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:47,400 He was pretty forensic in his hunt for the numbers. Yeah. 380 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,040 And then we saw a crack in his calmness 381 00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:51,440 when he threatened to take a lump hammer to the wall. 382 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:54,280 But pretty good, I thought. 383 00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:56,000 Yeah, working out that it was written somewhere in the room, 384 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:57,920 you can always find... I mean it was just in my pocket. 385 00:16:57,960 --> 00:16:59,280 You could've got that at any point. 386 00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:01,240 Were you as surprised as me that, uh, 387 00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:04,080 Alex's own wife doesn't know his birthday? 388 00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:07,600 It really felt like I'd got a key to the task, and then it... 389 00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:10,440 Then it became something quite sad about their marriage. 390 00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:13,040 Yeah, heart-breaking. It was an accidental key to the task. 391 00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:16,120 She rang to check I'd had my sandwiches and, um, 392 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,720 and you seized on the opportunity. Ah! 393 00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:19,120 Isn't Mum kind? 394 00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:24,320 I sense Ania was fast, though. I could be wrong. 395 00:17:24,360 --> 00:17:26,000 They were the only two that got it right. 396 00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:29,600 Sanjeev you got it in 9:43. 397 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:31,600 Ania, 9:40. 398 00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:33,120 ANIA GASPS Whoa! 399 00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:34,360 Yeah, genuinely. 400 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:36,920 APPLAUSE So, yeah, Ania gets the five points. 401 00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:41,280 The other three didn't get it right, 402 00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:43,480 but I guess they get points for how close they got? 403 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:47,080 Built in within this task was that stupid phone ringing in the thing. 404 00:17:47,120 --> 00:17:48,720 And then there was a real one that happened 405 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:51,240 and it gave her an advantage. 406 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:53,880 "Her!" Her? 407 00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:59,320 I'm not going to factor in the luck afforded 408 00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:01,360 to anyone who heard the Mum call. 409 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:03,480 OK. Well now we have clarity. 410 00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:07,800 You-You're welcome. 411 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:09,240 So we're saying that Ania gets the five points 412 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:11,120 for being the quickest and getting the right number. Correct. 413 00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:12,720 Sanjeev gets four. Correct. 414 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:14,920 And are the other three getting according to how close they were. 415 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:16,840 Yes, they do, according to how close they were to the number. 416 00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:18,600 Phil, you get three points. You were... 417 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:19,800 And can I say, Phil, 418 00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:22,000 you do not deserve them. 419 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:26,520 Two points, and... Aw... Maisie, you were just 100,975 away. 420 00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:28,160 You get one point. 421 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:30,400 But the winner is Ania Magliano! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 422 00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:39,080 Well, pull my shorts down and smack my bottom. 423 00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:40,520 What's next...? 424 00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:42,760 What's next, little Alex? 425 00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:44,720 Well, Greg, we're mixing it up now 426 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:46,800 in an alternative teams task, 427 00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:49,360 and this one's got a whole lot of heart. 428 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:50,520 Ooh. 429 00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:07,640 Hello. Hi. Hey. Hey. Hey. 430 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:08,800 Hmm. 431 00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:13,040 Nice shoes. 432 00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:18,960 That too close to you? No. 433 00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:24,640 Hello. 434 00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:26,400 You all right? Mm-hm. 435 00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:27,480 What's that? 436 00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:28,800 Chicken soup. 437 00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:34,520 Thank you. Pleasure. 438 00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:36,800 Oh, it's a heart. Mmm. 439 00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:39,360 Is this a romantic task? 440 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:43,120 "Make a love heart using your body, 441 00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:46,120 "the body of your team-mates..." 442 00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:50,200 "The body of your team-mates and any other items of your choosing." 443 00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:52,120 The body of my team-mates? Mm-hm. 444 00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:55,240 BOTH: "You must make up half of the heart." 445 00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:56,960 "Your team-mate has made up the other half." 446 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,800 "You have ten minutes to make your half, 447 00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:00,560 "during which you also have one chance 448 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:01,880 "to record a ten-second voice note 449 00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:04,000 "with instructions for your team-mate." 450 00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:06,680 ALL: "You must make up a third of the heart." 451 00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:09,240 "Your team-mates will make up the other two thir-..." 452 00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:11,080 Who's the team-mates? 453 00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:13,280 "One of your team-mates..." What? 454 00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:16,920 "..has made up the first third and has provided you with instructions." 455 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:18,000 Oh. 456 00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:21,360 "Your team-mates have made up the other two thirds 457 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:24,200 "and one has provided you with instructions." 458 00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:27,040 "The most affecting heart wins." 459 00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:28,640 An affecting heart? Yeah. 460 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:31,440 What, it's got to beat? It's got to move Greg, the Taskmaster. 461 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,040 Emotionally? Oh, yeah. 462 00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:34,400 Right. 463 00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:36,000 Is he a romantic? 464 00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:38,840 So I'm going to be half of the love heart. 465 00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:40,440 With your team-mate. 466 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:50,480 So, I suppose the obvious question is why were you eating chicken soup? 467 00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:51,920 I like it - you know when you see a task 468 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:53,400 and someone comes in drinking a cup of tea 469 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:54,960 cos they're just dead caszh, and they're like... 470 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,000 Yeah, yeah. I thought I'd up that. 471 00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:58,920 Yeah, it's not quite as acceptable, is it, 472 00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:00,640 to come in eating a bowl of soup? 473 00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:02,480 I mean, seeing it on the big screen now, 474 00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:04,000 I realise my mistake, yeah. 475 00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:08,200 So, these aren't their standard team members, as you'll see. 476 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:09,760 We're mixing it up. We're mixing it up. 477 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:11,480 Let's get some romance on the go. 478 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:14,480 OK, well, let's see how normally mortal enemies 479 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:17,120 Ania and Reece work together as a team. 480 00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:22,800 I have my supplies. 481 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,960 I'm going to be the top like this. 482 00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:34,360 Then, to make it affecting, it will say "Mum" in it. Hmm. 483 00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:36,640 For like, when you have a tattoo of "Mum". 484 00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:39,880 And I'm going to pulse. I'm going to be beating. 485 00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,160 You're going to get across this information in ten seconds. 486 00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:45,320 Yep. I'm a really accomplished voice-noter. 487 00:21:45,360 --> 00:21:48,040 I usually do them in, like, seven minutes. 488 00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:50,440 Oh, the voice note isn't ten minutes, the voice note's... 489 00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:51,760 Ten seconds. 490 00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:53,040 OK. 491 00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:54,880 I'm going to do it in order of importance 492 00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:56,560 of what they need to know. 493 00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:58,200 BEEP We're doing the heart from above. 494 00:21:58,240 --> 00:21:59,400 I'm the left side. It's pink, 495 00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:01,000 it's got "Mum" written on it, but I've done M 496 00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:03,080 and half of the U. My body is the top. 497 00:22:03,120 --> 00:22:05,200 The side is the umbrellas. It's pulsing. 498 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:06,920 It's filled with pink fabric. 499 00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:08,840 But you have to pulse to make it-... BEEP 500 00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:10,960 Why is she gabbling? Is she at gun point? 501 00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:13,120 Play it again. 502 00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:16,640 I think that what I've done is...incredible. 503 00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:18,480 The side is the umbrellas. It's pulsing. 504 00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:20,000 It's filled with pink fabric. 505 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:21,760 But you have to pulse to make it-... 506 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:23,480 The sad is the umbrellas? 507 00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:26,040 I need to go again, and just hear about the umbrella. 508 00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:28,400 My body is the top. The side is the umbrellas. 509 00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:31,720 Again? Yeah, I need to because that was absolutely gobbledegook gabble. 510 00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:34,160 My body is the top. The side is the umbrellas. 511 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:37,160 Go again with the umbrella. 512 00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:39,040 If they get it wrong, like, it's like... 513 00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:41,320 ..that's on them, completely. 514 00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:43,520 OK, so she said she is the left side. 515 00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:45,160 I think she's doing this. 516 00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:47,920 Something about "Mum" written in it and full of pink. 517 00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:52,760 Right. Right. 518 00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:54,160 She's left-hand side. 519 00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:55,520 Right. 520 00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:58,440 Right, OK, and I'm going to be right-hand side. 521 00:22:58,480 --> 00:22:59,760 Yeah. Four and a half minutes. 522 00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:00,960 Oh, no! 523 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:03,480 I'm going to spell "-um," 524 00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:05,600 the other half of Mum, with flowers. 525 00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:07,400 Get rid of that. 526 00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:08,880 Sorry. 527 00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:12,000 HE SPLUTTERS There's a creature on me! 528 00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:14,880 Give me the M of that. Please. 529 00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:20,360 All I've gotta do now is fashion a, uh, ooh... 530 00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,560 ..half of the U. 531 00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:25,280 I love you, Mum. 532 00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:27,120 WHISTLE Thank you, Reece. 533 00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:28,760 HE EXHALES I think that was quite good, that. 534 00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:31,640 APPLAUSE 535 00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:35,520 I mean, from what I've seen so far, 536 00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:37,960 you were an incredible team, I thought, to be honest. 537 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,080 Yeah. It does feel like an exercise that you'd make 538 00:23:40,120 --> 00:23:44,040 a couple that's about to break up do to try and save their marriage. 539 00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:46,520 Yeah, and it looks like you guys are going to last. 540 00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:49,920 Often a clip gets thrown up that we can use out of context 541 00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:51,280 throughout a series. Right. 542 00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:52,560 And I think probably this is... 543 00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:56,120 Yeah, the brave boy dealing with a little bug? Yeah. 544 00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:58,320 HE SPLUTTERS There's a creature on me! 545 00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:02,040 No-one comes running in to help, though, do they? 546 00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:04,080 One of those things that's going to keep being funny as well. Yeah. 547 00:24:04,120 --> 00:24:06,040 Show it again now. Show it again, yeah? 548 00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:07,200 It'll still get a laugh, watch. 549 00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:09,720 HE SPLUTTERS There's a creature on me! 550 00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:14,720 OK, we're halfway through the show, 551 00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:16,520 and as Alex's wife/mum said to me 552 00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:19,920 when she discovered his subscription to Greedy Butter Babes... 553 00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:22,360 ..it's time for a break. 554 00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:25,040 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 555 00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:32,560 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 556 00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:36,680 Hello. Welcome. 557 00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:38,760 It's the start of part three, 558 00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:41,960 where we've mixed up the teams to create two patchwork hearts. 559 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,560 Oh, just a bit, yes. 560 00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:47,000 They're using their bodies to create the most affecting heart, 561 00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:49,880 following instructions from their team members via a voice note. 562 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:51,480 Now for the other team. 563 00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:54,320 It's Maisie, it's Phil, and Sanjeev. 564 00:24:54,360 --> 00:24:56,800 OK, we need to do it on the floor. 565 00:24:56,840 --> 00:25:00,160 I think one third is the round bit here. 566 00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:03,200 Second third, which I can instruct someone to do 567 00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:04,600 is the other bit. 568 00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:05,720 I'll do the point, 569 00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:08,920 and I will compliment Greg's top half. 570 00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:12,400 Then the next person must compliment his, like, torso, 571 00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:15,480 and then the last person compliment his lovely legs 572 00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:17,640 in a not objectifying way. Hmm. 573 00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:20,480 You know, like, "Those legs are great for swimming." 574 00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:24,000 So I'll go... I'll be the point there, look. 575 00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:25,760 Oh, I'll also let them know I'm wearing black. 576 00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:27,880 Then we can all be the same colour. 577 00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:30,080 Right, Alex, I'm ready for my voice note. 578 00:25:30,120 --> 00:25:32,560 I'm not going to look at you, cos you will put me off, no offence. 579 00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:34,960 Here we go. 580 00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:37,600 Bum to the floor. I'm the point of the heart. 581 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:39,840 One of you needs to be the left side, the round side, 582 00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:41,920 one of you needs to be the right round side. 583 00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:44,480 Wear black and pay a compliment to Greg. 584 00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:48,000 Genuinely, chicken soup is really good. 585 00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:50,480 I can't recommend it enough. 586 00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:51,720 I don't want to tempt fate, 587 00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:54,440 but there's no way they can cock that up. 588 00:25:56,120 --> 00:25:57,440 Found some black stuff. 589 00:25:58,520 --> 00:25:59,880 How long have I got, Alex? 590 00:25:59,920 --> 00:26:01,120 Seven minutes. 591 00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:04,200 Seems like too long, doesn't it? OK. 592 00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:06,800 Now where would Maisie point? 593 00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:09,240 I reckon she's gone point like that. 594 00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:13,560 HE GIGGLES 595 00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:15,840 How long have I got? One and a half minutes. 596 00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:17,160 Do I have to stay in this position? 597 00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:18,960 Yes. Ready? 598 00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:21,320 I'm going to play you some instructions 599 00:26:21,360 --> 00:26:23,240 from one of your two team-mates. 600 00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:25,720 OK. Fingers crossed. 601 00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:29,400 Hey, mate. Um, Maisie's the point of the heart, 602 00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:32,040 with her bum to the floor, as a V shape. 603 00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:34,240 I'm the left hand curve of the heart. 604 00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:35,520 You need to be the right hand-... 605 00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:39,480 You want to hear it again? Yes, please. 606 00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:42,960 Hey, mate. Um, Maisie's the point of the heart... 607 00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:47,080 So if she was doing a V shape, she might be doing that... 608 00:26:47,120 --> 00:26:48,720 ..as the bottom of the heart. 609 00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:50,960 He was the left hand, so I'd be the right. 610 00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:53,640 Here. 611 00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:55,800 It's...that. 612 00:26:57,360 --> 00:26:58,880 There you go. OK. 613 00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:01,160 You think you obeyed the instructions? 614 00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:04,440 "Uh, hey mate, uh, yeah, I think I did, 615 00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:06,200 "but I might have just g-." 616 00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:08,800 LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE 617 00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:12,480 GREG: Lovely work. 618 00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:14,560 Well is it...? I mean, 619 00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:18,360 Maisie and Sanjeev were incredibly effective heart-makers. 620 00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:20,360 Straight to the point, clear instructions. 621 00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:21,640 And then there's Phil. 622 00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:24,440 I looked like a reverse stripper, didn't I? 623 00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:27,440 I came in and just got dressed. 624 00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:30,160 You certainly upset the two incredibly efficient parts 625 00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:31,640 of the heart, but maybe it won't matter. 626 00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:33,880 Maybe the heart will still be a thing of beauty. 627 00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:36,840 Can I, um, see the team of two first? 628 00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:38,160 Why not? Let's save the team of three. 629 00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:41,440 Here is Ania and Reece's heart, and remember, 630 00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:43,080 the sad is the umbrella. 631 00:27:43,120 --> 00:27:44,320 Here we go. 632 00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:48,200 MAISIE: Oh, that's good! ANIA: That's pretty good! 633 00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:56,560 APPLAUSE 634 00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:58,440 I think it's very good. 635 00:27:58,480 --> 00:27:59,840 It's a very... Thank you. 636 00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:02,120 ..lovely tribute to someone's mother, 637 00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:04,600 and it was animated. 638 00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:06,760 I mean, I've got nothing negative to say. 639 00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:08,320 I think it's really brought us back together. 640 00:28:08,360 --> 00:28:09,520 It was... Absolutely, yeah. 641 00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:11,080 We're all right now, aren't we? Yeah. 642 00:28:11,120 --> 00:28:12,560 Let's have a look at the other heart. 643 00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:13,760 OK the team of three. MAISIE: Come on. 644 00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:15,320 Harder with three people, arguably. 645 00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:16,600 This is what they came up with. 646 00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:23,200 Greg has a lovely beard that is complemented by his glasses. 647 00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:26,440 Always been a big fan, Greg. 648 00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:29,200 Uh, I never used to like people, uh, taller than me, 649 00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:32,120 but you're the first person I could genuinely have 650 00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:33,760 look after my children, 651 00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:35,120 of which I have none. 652 00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:43,200 PHIL, HYSTERICALLY: I forgot to tell him! 653 00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:44,400 There we go. 654 00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:47,400 Sorry there, seems to be something wrong with the tape there. I... 655 00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:50,440 I wasn't told to pay you a compliment. 656 00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:55,760 And if you just look at Maisie and Sanjeev in that heart, 657 00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:57,640 it is perfect. Look at Sanjeev. 658 00:28:57,680 --> 00:29:00,280 What a curve. What a curve. Proper curl. 659 00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:03,320 ANIA: He looks the most peaceful I've ever seen him. 660 00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:07,560 It looks like you're trying to post a letter in my arse. 661 00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:13,200 The letter starts with, "Hey, mate!" 662 00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:18,360 APPLAUSE 663 00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:22,920 Five points to the mum heart. 664 00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:24,240 Congratulations. I'll say that now. 665 00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:27,200 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Congratulations, Ania and Reece. Five points. 666 00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:28,480 Let's have a look at the other heart. 667 00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:30,200 It's impressive in a way. I'll give them three points. 668 00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:31,400 They deserve three. 669 00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:32,920 OK. Three points and five points. Well done. 670 00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:35,600 APPLAUSE 671 00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:37,240 One more, please. 672 00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:39,880 Yes, please. And giddy up, or hold on to your horses, 673 00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:42,200 because we're off to a horse-based location 674 00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:43,680 for a horse-based task, 675 00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:45,480 and I'm not even jockeying! 676 00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:48,000 SCATTERED LAUGHTER AND GROANS 677 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:53,560 STARTER PISTOL, CHEERING 678 00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:03,680 Hi, Alex Horne. 679 00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:04,720 This is exciting. 680 00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:05,800 It's the viewing deck. 681 00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:09,520 Is that a trot or a gallop? 682 00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:10,920 That was sprint. 683 00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:13,080 That was 100 miles per hour. 684 00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:14,960 OK. Interesting. 685 00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:18,080 Strange. Darts. 686 00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:19,880 Hedgehog darts. Mm-hm. 687 00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:22,720 Binoculars, if you need them. 688 00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:24,880 I buried a hedgehog once. 689 00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:26,760 Why? Well, I found it dead in the road, 690 00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:28,840 and I thought I'll give it a dignified funeral. 691 00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:34,160 "Win the horse race." 692 00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:35,960 "Win the horse race." 693 00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:37,480 Have you spotted your horse? 694 00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:43,880 Yes. Oh, has it got my face? 695 00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:46,360 Oh, God. 696 00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:50,440 Oh, my God, that's terrifying. 697 00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:54,560 "You must do one of the following things." 698 00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:57,240 "Eat something without looking at the food..." 699 00:30:57,280 --> 00:31:00,560 "Spin the wheel at least 720 degrees..." 700 00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:03,040 Twice. 701 00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:05,840 "Throw a dart at the dartboard..." 702 00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:07,160 That one there. 703 00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:09,800 "If you eat an olive, your horse will advance two steps." 704 00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:16,240 "If you eat a grape, your horse will retreat three steps." 705 00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:19,760 I've never eaten an olive in my life. 706 00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:21,360 This is going to be a nightmare. 707 00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:25,160 "If you throw a dart in an olive, your horse will advance five steps." 708 00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:28,600 "If you throw a dart in a grape, 709 00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:30,760 "your horse will retreat eight steps." 710 00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:35,320 "If the wheel lands on an olive..." 711 00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:37,520 "Your horse will advance ten steps." 712 00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:40,960 You couldn't have done it with chips? 713 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:45,760 "If the wheel lands on a grape, your horse will retreat 15 steps." 714 00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:50,320 "You must stay on the spot and you must not move the spot." 715 00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:53,200 "First horse past the post wins." 716 00:31:53,240 --> 00:31:56,880 "You have a maximum of 30 minutes. Your time starts on the whistle." 717 00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:58,880 You're riding a horse. What is your horse called? 718 00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:00,960 Doctor Magic. 719 00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:03,960 Called Mashie Niblick. Mashie Niblick? 720 00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:06,000 Yeah, it's a golf, uh, term. 721 00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:07,240 Old Pip. 722 00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:09,560 George Clooney. 723 00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:11,360 OK, so you're riding George Clooney today. 724 00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:12,880 The envy of many. 725 00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:15,480 What do they write on the door in The Shining? 726 00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:19,080 AS A COMMENTATOR: It's Mashie Niblick on the left hand side, followed by Red Rum. 727 00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:21,400 Red Rum... NORMALLY: That's what they do in horse racing, isn't it? 728 00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:24,520 Red Room. Red Room. Your horse is called Red Room. 729 00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:26,200 OK. 730 00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:30,400 I'm still sort of dumbstruck by the mask of me. 731 00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:32,440 I can't stand it. It looks like some sort of... 732 00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:35,240 It's like Hannibal... Oh, Christ. 733 00:32:35,280 --> 00:32:36,480 Starter's orders. 734 00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:38,440 WHISTLE 735 00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:40,920 APPLAUSE 736 00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:47,120 Do you think the impact in the film, The Shining...? 737 00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:49,080 Oh, for God's sake. 738 00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:51,240 Do you think it would've lost some of its impact 739 00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:53,640 if they'd gone, "Ooh, moor-der?" 740 00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:57,280 I will walk out. 741 00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:01,520 Anyway, back to horses. Yeah. 742 00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:03,240 Can't wait to see these jockeys in action. 743 00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:04,520 Yes, they control the horses. 744 00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:06,160 Olives, good. Grapes, bad. 745 00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:08,400 The first jockeys to the starting stalls are 746 00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:09,600 Sanjeev, Maisie and Reece, 747 00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:13,240 with their horses, George Clooney, Red Room, and Mashie Niblick. 748 00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:15,440 MAISIE: Do you know, I don't think I've ever concentrated 749 00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:17,480 on the feel of an olive? 750 00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:18,760 Well, now's your chance. 751 00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:20,600 WHISTLE 752 00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:22,200 Now you think you can tell olives from grapes? 753 00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:23,640 OK. It's an olive. 754 00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:27,920 George Clooney, you may advance two steps. 755 00:33:30,120 --> 00:33:32,480 Right in a grape. Oh! 756 00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:35,080 Come on, Red Room. 757 00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:38,800 That's an olive. You hit an olive. 758 00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:42,440 Yes! That's an olive. 759 00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:44,720 The horse will advance. Congratulations. 760 00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:46,480 It's taking its time. 761 00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:52,280 Ooh. Which one...? Is it that one? Yeah. 762 00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:53,880 It's a grape. 763 00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:57,240 Another grape? Yeah. 764 00:33:57,280 --> 00:33:58,760 It's a grape. 765 00:33:58,800 --> 00:34:00,440 It's a grape. Grape. 766 00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:03,520 That's ridiculous. 767 00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:08,080 That's an olive all day long. 768 00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:11,040 OK. 769 00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:16,800 Olive! Forwards ten. Oh, no! 770 00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:19,240 Because that's... Sorry... But that's good for you. 771 00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:20,320 Great. 772 00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:30,560 Oh, he's sprinting now. 773 00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:32,480 Feeling a bit sick. 774 00:34:32,520 --> 00:34:34,520 MOUTH FULL: That's a fucking olive. 775 00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:37,080 Well done, Maisie. That's not worth two steps. 776 00:34:39,640 --> 00:34:41,440 The horse will advance ten steps. 777 00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:42,960 I'm going to will it to be an olive. 778 00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:44,240 It is. 779 00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:45,920 You've crossed the finish line. 780 00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:47,120 Come on, George. 781 00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:48,240 Well done, Red Room. 782 00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:49,920 And Mashie Niblick has crossed the finish line. 783 00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:52,000 Expressionless, dead eyed. 784 00:34:53,600 --> 00:34:57,040 AUDIENCE GROANS Why would you ever have that before your meal? 785 00:34:57,080 --> 00:34:58,160 It's minging. 786 00:34:58,200 --> 00:34:59,720 APPLAUSE 787 00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:03,200 They're gross. ANIA DROWNED OUT BY APPLAUSE 788 00:35:03,240 --> 00:35:05,600 No, no, no. 789 00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:10,760 I don't like to be regionally prejudiced, but... 790 00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:12,160 ..you hate olives as well. 791 00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:15,000 Yeah, I'd had one before. Oh! 792 00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:16,160 What the hell is going on? 793 00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:18,040 I would also point out, yes, 794 00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:20,400 Ania just asked, "Did you know there was a camera in the bin?" 795 00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:22,280 and I don't... I think I would've made more of an effort 796 00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:23,600 not to drool into the bin. 797 00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:26,920 OK, we're stopping once again. 798 00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:28,320 In the final part of the show, 799 00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:31,160 we'll witness our very own Taskmaster derby, 800 00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:33,400 plus someone will take home a tea towel 801 00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:35,840 and a ball attached to some string. 802 00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:39,480 So highs, lows, highs, real lows. 803 00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:42,000 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 804 00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:52,880 Hello. Welcome back to the final part of the show, 805 00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:56,560 and our own Grand National of sorts at Sandown Racecourse. 806 00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:57,920 Yes, but before the race, 807 00:35:57,960 --> 00:36:01,640 we need to see how Ania and Phil did at progressing their horses, 808 00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:05,400 Doctor Magic and Old Pip, towards the post. 809 00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:06,640 Let's have a look. 810 00:36:08,720 --> 00:36:11,040 I don't know how to play this game cos I'm not an old man. 811 00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:12,560 Dart first. 812 00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:14,200 Think olive. 813 00:36:14,240 --> 00:36:16,440 That's a grape. Oh, come on, Old Pip. 814 00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:18,880 I didn't know horses could go backwards. 815 00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:21,920 Miss. 816 00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:25,080 Shall I try this? 817 00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:27,120 Do I have to eat the whole olive? 818 00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:28,480 They're not in here. 819 00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:34,400 They look rank, don't they? What is that for? 820 00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:36,880 Grape. Oh, they're salty. 821 00:36:36,920 --> 00:36:39,280 It's a salty grape, yeah. 822 00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:40,520 Oh, my God. 823 00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:42,400 Oh, my God. HE LAUGHS AND CHOKES 824 00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:43,880 This is my Everest. 825 00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:45,560 Old Pip, you can advance two steps. 826 00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:47,200 Two?! Come on, mate. 827 00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:52,880 Olive. Grape. 828 00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:54,760 Are you kidding me? 829 00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:56,080 15 steps. 830 00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:57,360 15?! When does that happen? 831 00:36:57,400 --> 00:36:58,640 Come on, Old Pip. 832 00:36:59,920 --> 00:37:01,600 LAUGHINGL: Doctor Magic. 833 00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:05,120 She's gonna be in a different country soon. 834 00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:06,360 Stop. BUZZER 835 00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:08,400 Fuck. 836 00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:09,600 This is ri... Is this rigged? 837 00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:11,000 WHISTLE BLOWS Olive. 838 00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:12,600 Grape. HE GROANS 839 00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:14,600 WHISTLE BLOWS Come on, come on, come on. 840 00:37:14,640 --> 00:37:15,920 Oh... 841 00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:17,160 Oh, come on! 842 00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:19,080 15 is insane. 843 00:37:22,240 --> 00:37:24,080 Can I change this? Can I just take these off? 844 00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:26,400 That'd make more sense, wouldn't it? 845 00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:28,240 Well, fingers crossed. 846 00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:32,120 BELL DINGS Hey! Come on, boy. 847 00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:33,280 APPLAUSE 848 00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:35,040 Got a new idea. 849 00:37:35,080 --> 00:37:37,080 The wheel's about to land on an olive. 850 00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:39,080 Ready? Uh-huh. 851 00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:41,600 BELL DINGS Please advance ten steps. 852 00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:42,840 APPLAUSE 853 00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:47,360 BELL DINGS 854 00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:49,280 Oh, he's just pulled up short. 855 00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:51,080 What's it landed on? Olive. 856 00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:52,520 BELL DINGS It's landed on olive, 857 00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:53,720 so please advance ten steps. 858 00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:55,680 HE LAUGHS 859 00:37:55,720 --> 00:37:57,640 BELL DINGS That's an olive. 860 00:37:57,680 --> 00:37:58,680 Come on, boy! 861 00:37:58,720 --> 00:38:00,120 Advance ten steps. 862 00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:01,880 Yes! 863 00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:05,480 Five, four, three, two, one. 864 00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:06,760 We've finished the race. 865 00:38:06,800 --> 00:38:08,720 FLATLY: Blast off. 866 00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:12,000 Let me get him. I wanna hug him. 867 00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:13,360 Yeah, baby! 868 00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:15,160 He's a good boy. 869 00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:17,080 LAUGHING: Yeah! 870 00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:18,520 Bloody gorgeous. 871 00:38:18,560 --> 00:38:21,560 Yes! What a victory! 872 00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:23,560 Ah, come on, let's take you... 873 00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:25,360 Let's get you to the glue factory. 874 00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:29,000 APPLAUSE 875 00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:34,640 So nice to see a man running excitedly 876 00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:37,960 to hug a member of production crew. 877 00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:39,680 You know, they played a blinder, didn't they? 878 00:38:39,720 --> 00:38:40,720 Well, was it too little too late? 879 00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:42,160 They did get very unlucky with the spinning wheel. 880 00:38:42,200 --> 00:38:43,680 There were more olives than grapes. 881 00:38:43,720 --> 00:38:45,560 But we're gonna see them all race as one, Greg, 882 00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:46,720 and we can see who wins. Ready? 883 00:38:46,760 --> 00:38:49,560 Oh, my God. I genuinely don't know. 884 00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:51,200 OK, they're under starter's orders. 885 00:38:51,240 --> 00:38:53,760 But Phil and Maisie's starter orders are definitely not olives. 886 00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:56,040 It's a little joke. Let's get down to the track. 887 00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:57,480 Good luck, everyone. 888 00:39:02,720 --> 00:39:04,000 Oh. Come on, George. 889 00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:05,440 Come on, Red Room, get up there. 890 00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:06,760 Come on, George. 891 00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:08,280 Get up there. Giddy up, giddy up. Come on. 892 00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:09,680 Good old George. 893 00:39:09,720 --> 00:39:11,440 WHISTLE BLOWS Right, here we go. 894 00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:12,840 Mashie Niblick. 895 00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:15,080 Dr Magic. Blast off. 896 00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:18,600 It's Mashie Niblick on the left-hand side. 897 00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:20,120 Come on, Old Pip, you bastard. 898 00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:21,520 Oh, no! 899 00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:23,320 Come on, Old Pip! 900 00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:25,400 God! I must have won. 901 00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:29,080 APPLAUSE 902 00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:35,680 And the tragedy is, it was only Old Pip that had to be 903 00:39:35,720 --> 00:39:37,640 put down in the end. 904 00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:39,840 Yeah, Sanjeev won. Three minutes, 56 - 905 00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:42,640 just six seconds quicker than Maisie's Red Room. 906 00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:46,080 Phil took as long to eat one olive as Sanjeev... 907 00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:47,920 LAUGHTER DROWNS SPEECH 908 00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:49,040 Never again. 909 00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:50,680 So, yeah, five to Sanjeev, four to Maisie, 910 00:39:50,720 --> 00:39:53,840 three to Ania, two to Phil, and one point to Reece Shearsmith. 911 00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:55,520 Well done. There it is. 912 00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:00,160 Can we have one more look at the scores, then? 913 00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:02,400 It's tight Greg. It's the tightest episode so far. 914 00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:04,400 There are just four points between the top four. 915 00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:06,920 At the top of the pile, it's Sanjeev, with 15 points. 916 00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:10,880 Amazing. APPLAUSE 917 00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:12,960 OK, everyone. Make your way to the stage, please. 918 00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:14,400 Why? I'll tell you why. 919 00:40:14,440 --> 00:40:16,240 The final task of the show! 920 00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:18,440 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 921 00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:25,080 Hello, my tender friend. Who will be reading the task? 922 00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:27,280 I think Ania should read it. Ania. 923 00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:28,560 Yes. 924 00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:29,840 OK. 925 00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:32,640 What? 926 00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:35,280 This one's mad. 927 00:40:35,320 --> 00:40:37,040 "Fill out your form." 928 00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:39,080 Uh... Fill out your form? 929 00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:40,680 Yeah, they've got big forms in front of them. 930 00:40:40,720 --> 00:40:42,800 There are ten flaps on your form. 931 00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:44,760 Open the flap, fill in the form. 932 00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:46,160 Start. WHISTLE BLOWS 933 00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:50,560 MUSIC PLAYS 934 00:40:53,160 --> 00:40:55,840 They've done it. Give Greg a nice big smile. 935 00:40:55,880 --> 00:40:58,000 They've completed the form! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 936 00:40:58,040 --> 00:40:59,160 OK. 937 00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:02,880 I will now ask you to display your forms 938 00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:04,120 and stand beside them. 939 00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:06,280 There's a little flap on the back of the desk. 940 00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:08,400 And then Ania's gonna read part two of the task. 941 00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:09,720 Oh! 942 00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:10,800 REECE: Oh, no. 943 00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:14,120 "Either convince the Taskmaster that you have written something 944 00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:15,800 "other than what you have written, 945 00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:17,640 "or exactly what you have written." 946 00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:18,880 MAISIE SIGHS 947 00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:23,320 "If you fail to deceive the Taskmaster, you are eliminated. 948 00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:25,840 "Last person standing wins." 949 00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:29,400 So, Greg's gonna call out, one at a time, a number and a category. 950 00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:31,560 OK. So you have to either say what you've written, 951 00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:33,120 or something you haven't written. 952 00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:35,160 And, if he gets it right, you're out. 953 00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:36,360 He'll start with you, Ania. 954 00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:39,000 Number three, and the category is a motorway. 955 00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:40,600 Ooh, which motorway did you write, Ania? 956 00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:42,840 I wrote the M40. 957 00:41:42,880 --> 00:41:45,200 Hmm, you did not. 958 00:41:45,240 --> 00:41:47,560 Let's see what you've written, Ania. 959 00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:49,280 She... Oh. 960 00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:50,520 She wrote the A40. 961 00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:52,280 That... LAUGHTER 962 00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:53,680 That is what I meant. 963 00:41:53,720 --> 00:41:56,000 She meant the M40, clearly. 964 00:41:56,040 --> 00:41:57,400 Oh. The A40 becomes the M40. 965 00:41:57,440 --> 00:41:59,040 You're fine, you've survived. 966 00:41:59,080 --> 00:42:01,760 Great. 967 00:42:04,720 --> 00:42:07,520 OK, Maisie, I would like you to do number four - 968 00:42:07,560 --> 00:42:09,840 best kitchen appliance. 969 00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:11,800 I put "a kettle." 970 00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:14,160 Have you? 971 00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:19,240 She did put a kettle. 972 00:42:19,280 --> 00:42:20,800 Did you put a kettle? 973 00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:23,440 Yes. Kettle, yeah. 974 00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:25,600 Maisie, please sit down and take your form with you. 975 00:42:25,640 --> 00:42:29,400 Thank you. Gently, gently, yeah. Oh, God. Thank you. 976 00:42:29,440 --> 00:42:32,120 All right, Maisie's out in Round One. 977 00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:34,320 OK, on we go. Now I'm terrified. 978 00:42:34,360 --> 00:42:35,720 Phil, number seven. 979 00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:37,480 Oh. Something quite big. 980 00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:38,960 Tell me what you've written and I'll tell you 981 00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:40,320 whether you're telling me the truth or not. 982 00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:42,600 I've written, "You know." 983 00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:45,040 LAUGHTER 984 00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:46,320 What have you written? 985 00:42:46,360 --> 00:42:48,800 I've written, "You know." 986 00:42:48,840 --> 00:42:50,120 You've just written the words "you know"? 987 00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:51,800 Yeah, like, something quite big, and I've gone... 988 00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:54,280 You say, "Something quite big." Innuendo. He means his cock. 989 00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:57,640 Yeah, and I've gone... LAUGHTER 990 00:42:57,680 --> 00:42:59,520 OK. I think. 991 00:42:59,560 --> 00:43:02,240 You know. I think that's true. He has written that. 992 00:43:02,280 --> 00:43:04,200 Uh. Number seven, Phil. What have you written? 993 00:43:04,240 --> 00:43:05,440 Number seven. 994 00:43:05,480 --> 00:43:07,320 Oh, fuck. 995 00:43:07,360 --> 00:43:08,600 Sit down, Phil. Sit down. 996 00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:13,880 APPLAUSE 997 00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:16,920 Reece, I would like you to read out 998 00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:20,200 number five, which is a new band name. 999 00:43:21,680 --> 00:43:23,520 I said Style Lemon. 1000 00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:26,720 LAUGHTER 1001 00:43:33,680 --> 00:43:35,640 I don't think Reece did put Style Lemon. 1002 00:43:35,680 --> 00:43:37,720 Reece, show us what you wrote. 1003 00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:39,120 Style Bomb. 1004 00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:41,400 Oh! Reece, you have to sit down. 1005 00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:44,480 I know. It's a fucking disgrace. 1006 00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:45,640 Please take your form with you. 1007 00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:47,600 Right, well, there's only two left. 1008 00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:51,000 Let's have number ten - a quite scary animal. 1009 00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:55,280 Leopard. 1010 00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:58,240 I think he's double-bluffing me with the doubt in his voice. 1011 00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:00,800 SNIGGERING I think you did write leopard. 1012 00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:08,680 We have a winner! APPLAUSE 1013 00:44:08,720 --> 00:44:10,760 That's not right. 1014 00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:12,920 Come down and join me! 1015 00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:15,320 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1016 00:44:19,720 --> 00:44:22,520 Well, well, well. Yeah, it was shorter than I expected. 1017 00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:25,080 Not as high-octane as we imagined. 1018 00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:28,240 No. You were very good at not being deceived, Greg. 1019 00:44:28,280 --> 00:44:30,000 Oh, thank you. 1020 00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:31,680 Only one person deceived so, the full five points 1021 00:44:31,720 --> 00:44:32,920 goes to Ania. 1022 00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:37,200 However... 1023 00:44:37,240 --> 00:44:40,360 in joint second was everyone else, so they all get four points. 1024 00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:42,640 Loving it. So five, four, four, four, four. 1025 00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:47,440 OK, so final scoreboard. 1026 00:44:47,480 --> 00:44:49,720 It's interesting. There's not one winner, there's two winners. 1027 00:44:49,760 --> 00:44:51,480 There's joint winners. With 19 points, 1028 00:44:51,520 --> 00:44:52,920 Ania and Sanjeev! 1029 00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:57,520 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1030 00:44:57,560 --> 00:44:59,400 Oh, no, we've got a tie. 1031 00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:02,320 We do. So we need a tie-break. 1032 00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:04,880 And this one is fun and made them look really cool, 1033 00:45:04,920 --> 00:45:07,280 because they had to remove their shower cap 1034 00:45:07,320 --> 00:45:09,960 by inflating a balloon. Fastest wins. 1035 00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:11,720 Here's how they both got on. 1036 00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:15,160 I don't like that everyone's laughing at me. 1037 00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:19,560 WHISTLE BLOWS 1038 00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:35,440 It's off. Yeah, it's off. 1039 00:45:35,480 --> 00:45:39,320 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1040 00:45:39,360 --> 00:45:41,560 My God, it's...it's neck-and-neck. 1041 00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:43,360 It is. 1042 00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:45,840 Yeah. The winner is Ania Magliano! 1043 00:45:45,880 --> 00:45:47,600 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1044 00:45:47,640 --> 00:45:49,160 Ania wins! 1045 00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:53,160 Please, go up and gather up all of your gorgeous gifts! 1046 00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:02,360 So, what have we learnt today? 1047 00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:05,040 Well, we've learnt that, no matter what happens, 1048 00:46:05,080 --> 00:46:07,080 no matter who it ha... PHONE RINGS 1049 00:46:09,360 --> 00:46:10,680 So sorry. 1050 00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:13,640 Hello? 1051 00:46:13,680 --> 00:46:15,840 Yeah, yeah. Phwoar. 1052 00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:17,880 Phwoar, yeah. Yeah. 1053 00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:19,760 Oh, defo. Absolutely, yeah. 1054 00:46:19,800 --> 00:46:21,240 Later, though. I'm at work. 1055 00:46:21,280 --> 00:46:22,800 I told you. 1056 00:46:22,840 --> 00:46:24,360 You can't ring me at work. 1057 00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:26,120 THROATILY: Whoa! 1058 00:46:27,440 --> 00:46:29,120 Alex's mum. 1059 00:46:29,160 --> 00:46:32,000 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 1060 00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:42,400 But, more importantly, let's celebrate our winner. 1061 00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:43,840 It's Ania! 1062 00:46:43,880 --> 00:46:47,120 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1063 00:47:04,760 --> 00:47:11,520 Subtitles by Red Bee Media