1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,120 This programme contains strong language and adult humour 2 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:05,840 Oh, no! 3 00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:06,880 Hello? 4 00:00:13,240 --> 00:00:14,560 Eh... 5 00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:16,920 SHE SLURPS 6 00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:18,880 HE STRAINS Ahh! 7 00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:21,680 Nothing's ever straightforward in this stupid house. 8 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:25,560 Pbbt. Blah! 9 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:35,040 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Welcome! 10 00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:40,040 Welcome to Taskmaster, a group of comics battling it out 11 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:42,960 to see who is the least-worst at doing a thing. 12 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:45,600 No-one will learn anything from the next hour, 13 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:48,800 so crack open a can and give in to the pointlessness. 14 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:51,760 Here are the names of our giggling gladiators, 15 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:54,840 Ania Magliano... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 16 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:57,760 ..Maisie Adam... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 17 00:00:57,800 --> 00:00:59,680 ..Phil Ellis... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 18 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:02,120 ..Reece Shearsmith... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 19 00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:05,400 ..and Sanjeev Bhaskar! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 20 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:08,160 And next to me, a man who told me he never struggles 21 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:10,360 to get back to sleep after the alarm goes off. 22 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:13,200 He simply has to listen to one of his wife's descriptions 23 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,440 of a dream she had. 24 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:17,040 As he put it himself, "They're so boring, 25 00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:19,760 "I soon be snoring." LAUGHTER 26 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:21,920 HIGH-PITCHED: It's... 27 00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:23,480 ..little Alex Horne. 28 00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:25,320 Thank you. Good evening, everyone. 29 00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:27,640 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hello. 30 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:29,960 Hey, Greg, I've got you a present. 31 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,480 Yeah. Think you'll like it. 32 00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:33,840 It's a working mind-reading machine. 33 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:35,800 HE LAUGHS AUDIENCE LAUGHS 34 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:37,760 You want to give it a go? Yes. 35 00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:41,320 MACHINE: "I mean, honestly, that's one of the coolest things 36 00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:43,160 I think I've ever seen." Oh! 37 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:45,720 LAUGHTER 38 00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:47,760 That's quite good. It works! 39 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:48,800 Is there more? 40 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:50,520 "You are...my best friend." 41 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:51,600 Ooh! 42 00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:54,280 Oh, that was a bad edit, wasn't it? 43 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:56,400 "You are t..." SHOUTING: "..my best friend!" 44 00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:59,640 Oh! You really mean it. LAUGHTER 45 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:03,280 This is the best section... this is the best chat section ever. 46 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:05,920 Let us begin! Yes, and I strongly suggest 47 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:07,840 we start with the prize task. 48 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:09,160 And the category this time is 49 00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:13,920 the thing Greg would most like to see Alex wearing. 50 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:15,400 Oh-ho-ho, God. 51 00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:17,920 So, at the end of the show, not only will the winner take home 52 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:20,040 five things Greg would like to see me wearing, 53 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:21,560 but I might appear on the stage 54 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:25,240 and don the outfit that wins this bit of the task. 55 00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:27,040 AUDIENCE OOHS Ooh! 56 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:28,880 Before I see any of them, I want to say that 57 00:02:28,920 --> 00:02:31,920 the things that make him look, er, the most stupid, 58 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:34,160 inconvenience him, or cause him pain 59 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:36,600 are the things that I'm likely to give high points to. 60 00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:39,120 LAUGHTER OK, Ania.It's not constrictive, 61 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:41,480 but I've brought in a versatile hat. 62 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:43,280 Yeah. Can I see the hat? Yeah. 63 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:44,720 Here's Ania's hat. 64 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:48,720 LAUGHTER 65 00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:52,120 That is wonderful. That, I imagine, is incredibly heavy. 66 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:53,600 It's heavy. It hurts. 67 00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:56,240 It hurts to wear. It will ruin his life. 68 00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:59,400 And I'll barely be able to see him and his horrible, gappy mouth. 69 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:00,440 LAUGHTER 70 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:03,720 Obviously it's got the sparkliness for, like, all your awards dos, 71 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:06,080 and then, it's black, so you can wear it to a funeral. 72 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:08,080 When my heart inevitably gives in... 73 00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:10,480 Yeah. ..I'd like you to wear that to my funeral. 74 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:11,840 It's a deal. 75 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:15,120 LAUGHTER 76 00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:17,560 That's a strong opener. OK. Thank you. Sanjeev. 77 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:20,400 What was it you said, constrictive, er...? 78 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:22,600 Er, causes him embarrassment or pain. Yeah. 79 00:03:22,640 --> 00:03:27,920 OK, so if you imagine him wearing this in India... 80 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:29,760 THEY LAUGH 81 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:31,440 ..all of those things are covered. 82 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:33,240 Sanjeev's brought this in. 83 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:34,600 It's the sari! 84 00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:38,040 LAUGHTER 85 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:42,160 Oh, my God, our next night out - that, you, Southall. 86 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:45,840 Yeah, I-I would walk ten paces ahead. 87 00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:47,200 Not for cultural reasons. 88 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:50,280 LAUGHTER Er, just for personal safety. 89 00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:51,800 This is wonderful. Yeah. 90 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:53,600 You'll look silly in a sari. 91 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:55,480 And you'll be in danger. 92 00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:59,200 I mean, I'm excited we're having another night out. 93 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,120 LAUGHTER Phil. 94 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:03,240 It's a suit I've made, 95 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:05,560 and it's covered in various things 96 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:07,280 that will attract predators. 97 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:11,520 Yes, it is. This is what it looks like, Greg. 98 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:13,080 Oh, here we go. 99 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:15,320 There we are. LAUGHTER 100 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:19,320 Oh! It's beyond my wildest dreams. 101 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:22,480 There y'are, you've got steaks there for any, you know, carnivores. 102 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:25,280 Erm, some sausages - maybe get a cartoon fun dog chasing him. 103 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:28,600 Yeah. And, er, and honey. 104 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:30,440 Wouldn't we all like to see Winnie-the-Pooh attached 105 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:33,520 to his back, clawing away at him? Yeah. Wouldn't we? 106 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:36,600 With his little T-shirt on? Nothing below the waist? Lovely. 107 00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:38,080 Your ass blowing in the wind. 108 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:40,240 Why Winnie, and not one of the bad bears? 109 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,800 Winnie, behind closed doors, is a real piece of shit. 110 00:04:42,840 --> 00:04:45,400 LAUGHTER 111 00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:47,400 I absolutely love it. 112 00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:48,760 Thank you. Maisie. 113 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:51,240 Have you got something that will humiliate my friend? 114 00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:53,760 The late Lady Diana's revenge dress. 115 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:58,000 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 116 00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:03,000 You mean...you mean this one? That's the one! 117 00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:07,200 It's off the shoulder, form-fitting with an asymmetrical hem line 118 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,240 and chiffon train. 119 00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:12,440 Cleavage-bearing - a departure from typical royal attire, of course. 120 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:14,800 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was apparently a statement of defiance, 121 00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:17,400 and a powerful symbol of reclaiming her narrative. 122 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:20,200 There you go! It was soon after finding out about the divorce, 123 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:21,640 I think, wasn't it? Yeah. Yeah. 124 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:23,640 And I've often heard you say backstage, 125 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:25,760 "There's three people in this marriage." 126 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:28,520 LAUGHTER God, these are all strong! 127 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:32,120 Reece. Reece? You have mentioned sometimes, haven't you, Greg, 128 00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:33,600 that you used to be a teacher? 129 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:34,960 Yes. You occasionally mention it. 130 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,680 I-I may have got a bit of... bit of material out of it. Yes, yes. 131 00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:41,560 I presume, when you were teaching, if someone was hard-of-thinking, 132 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:43,400 they would be given the dunce's cap. 133 00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:45,480 So, I thought, what's the next best thing? 134 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:47,680 It's basically a hat with a propeller on it. 135 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:49,240 LAUGHTER 136 00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:51,320 This is the hat. Let's have a look. 137 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:55,120 I think that... I think that should win. 138 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:57,040 That is, oh... 139 00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:58,480 What a nightmare. 140 00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:01,760 Can I say, the reason I'll find it hard to score that highly 141 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:03,800 is because he - and I mean this - 142 00:06:03,840 --> 00:06:05,880 would genuinely wear that out of choice? 143 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:08,000 LAUGHTER I've miscalculated, then. 144 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:09,520 Yeah, it would appear so. 145 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,160 I like all of them. 146 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:14,400 I'm going to do something that'll annoy you. 147 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:15,960 OK? TERSELY: Mm-hm. 148 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,760 I'm not going to give anyone 1 point. 149 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:22,680 I'm going to give Reece Shearsmith 2 points for that hat. Yes. 150 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:24,040 Just cos I'm in a good mood. 151 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:28,560 I'm going to give hat number two, that Ania brought in, 3 points. 152 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:31,240 Right. Because I liked it, but I think part of Alex 153 00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:32,760 would like that, too. 154 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:35,760 4 points for the sari. OK, well done, Sanjeev, 4 points. 155 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:38,320 Yeah, and then, we're up into the big guns. 156 00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:43,120 It's so difficult for me between meat and Diana. 157 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:44,760 LAUGHTER 158 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:47,920 I'm going to give 5 points to the late Lady Diana dress 159 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:50,760 and the meat outfit. Yay! That's how I'm going to play it. 160 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:52,560 OK, 5 to Maisie, 5 to Phil! 161 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:54,720 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 162 00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:57,720 I have to ask, what should I wear at the end of the show? 163 00:06:57,760 --> 00:06:59,720 I'll tell you what - you put the dress on, 164 00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:01,760 I'll throw meat at you from down here. 165 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:03,840 LAUGHTER Yeah. 166 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:06,080 Looks like we've got ourselves a show! 167 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:07,480 LAUGHTER CONTINUES 168 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:11,080 Let's have a... let's have a task proper. 169 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:14,680 Let's see the extraordinary power of one little snip. 170 00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:30,480 I thought you were going to be sat there. Hello. 171 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:31,960 May I? Please do. 172 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,000 An envelope, a cushion, 173 00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:36,760 string, and a gorgeous set of scissors! 174 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:39,400 Would you like me to open the task? Yeah, OK. Yeah. 175 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:41,000 Can I use the scissors? Yeah. 176 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:45,480 "Cut a single string... 177 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:49,280 "..to cause the greatest effect. 178 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:51,120 "You have 20 minutes. 179 00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:52,840 "Your time starts now." 180 00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:54,560 Greatest effect is pretty broad. 181 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:57,120 It's too bloody broad. Oh, right. 182 00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:58,800 That's subjective, innit? 183 00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:01,560 Yeah, some of these tasks are. Yeah. 184 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:03,680 REECE: Maybe I shouldn't tell you what I'll do, and just do it. 185 00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:05,280 Might need that and that. 186 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:07,960 It's all good stuff, innit. 187 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,240 Thank you. 188 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:12,200 APPLAUSE 189 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:18,480 Yet again, Phil - positive, making fun out of just having 190 00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:20,000 a pair of scissors in front of him. 191 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:22,440 Thank you, I-I try to look at the bright side of life, 192 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:25,000 and just enjoy every second. Good. That's wonderful. 193 00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:27,360 He said that like there's someone with a gun at his head. 194 00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:28,760 LAUGHTER 195 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,240 Alex. Greg. 196 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:32,360 Shall we see some? Why not? 197 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:34,560 Let's begin with Phil - short for Philip - 198 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:37,040 and Ania - short for genetic reasons. 199 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:38,080 Here we go. 200 00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:40,000 LAUGHTER 201 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:42,880 I could use one more item, if possible. 202 00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:45,360 Have you got a watch on? Yes, always. Brilliant. 203 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,800 Strange response. Er, do you mind if I take it? 204 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:49,480 It depends. Well, I'll look after it. 205 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:52,520 I'm not an animal. It's a good watch, this. 206 00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:54,760 All right. Right, I don't know how long you've got left. 207 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:56,720 Well, none of us do, do we? 208 00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:58,560 But isn't that life's big question? 209 00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:00,520 Part of the fun of it, really. LAUGHTER 210 00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:05,120 I'll take the whole bloody thing, then, right. See ya. 211 00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:07,160 OK. OK. 212 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:12,880 Really simple - we're going to winch the glasses over the house, 213 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,800 and then, I'll smash the glasses... 214 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:16,600 Clock's ticking, Ania! OK. 215 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:24,040 OK. 216 00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:27,400 Would you like to take a seat, please? Thank you. 217 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:29,560 Thank you so much for coming. And thanks, guys. 218 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:30,640 Right. Right. 219 00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:33,120 So, that's the single piece of string. This is the anvil. 220 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:34,960 Mm-hm. So, just going to... 221 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:39,160 OK. 222 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:42,280 You might remember earlier, I took your watch from you. 223 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:44,920 Yeah, I remember that. Yeah. Well, I'm going to give it back, 224 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:46,280 because I'm a good person. 225 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:48,040 But, first of all... 226 00:09:49,680 --> 00:09:52,160 ..we've got the trap, we've got the watch. 227 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:55,400 Well, I do like my watch. It's a beautiful watch. 228 00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:57,600 But points are points. LAUGHTER 229 00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:59,840 So, here we go. I imagine you've got about a minute left. 230 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:01,320 A minute left. 231 00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:02,640 Ah! Oh! 232 00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:03,680 Ah. 233 00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:07,520 Ooh! That's good, but it's not what I wanted. 234 00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:09,120 OK. Ah! 235 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:11,840 That's on. 236 00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:14,120 Was that the little bit you were aiming for? Yeah. 237 00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:15,680 Amazing. LAUGHTER 238 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:19,720 Watch your head. OK, we're going to do it. 239 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:21,600 We're going for it, are we? OK. 240 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:25,880 Five, four... 241 00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:31,160 ..three...two, one. 242 00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:38,160 Oh. 243 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:40,120 I thought it would be bigger than that. 244 00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:42,160 LAUGHTER 245 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:44,520 I thought it was going to cover the whole house. 246 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,720 Yes! AUDIENCE OOHS 247 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:01,840 PHIL GIGGLES Oh, it has smashed it. 248 00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:05,240 Happy with that. Does it still work, Phil? 249 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:07,800 It does still work but, much like me, it's damaged. 250 00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:10,440 Can I have it back? You can have it back, 'course you can. 251 00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:11,600 There you go. Thank you. 252 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:13,000 No, thank you very much for that. 253 00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:15,320 I appreciate you trusting me enough for that. 254 00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:18,560 Well, another day, another dollar! LAUGHTER 255 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:20,440 Let's get back to the grind. 256 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,440 APPLAUSE 257 00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:24,880 Well, Ania, I mean I was with you the whole way. Yeah. 258 00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:26,480 I was thinking, "She's got it sussed." 259 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,800 I found it was pretty spectacular when you managed to lasso 260 00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:31,840 the weather vane. Yeah. It was all going well, and then... 261 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:33,440 HE LAUGHS 262 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:36,880 Well, I wrote down what I think let the whole thing down, 263 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:39,640 was, "I thought it would cover the whole house." 264 00:11:39,680 --> 00:11:40,680 LAUGHTER 265 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:43,640 Did you think it was like nuclear paint powder? 266 00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:45,960 Sometimes I don't even need to score this, 267 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,840 because you scored it yourself. 268 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:49,960 Er, after the video you went, "Oh." 269 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,640 LAUGHTER 270 00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:54,760 Yeah, sometimes you have to know when it's over. Yeah. 271 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,960 But I've got a lot of my life left to live. 272 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,600 PITIFUL LAUGHTER 273 00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:01,000 Well, I still enjoyed it. Thank you. 274 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:02,440 I enjoyed watching you fail. 275 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:04,800 Phil. Hello. This was...bold. 276 00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:07,240 Thank you! Because he loves that watch. 277 00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:09,520 I do love the watch. I-Is it broken? 278 00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:11,680 Er, no, it's not broken. It made it sort of dirty. 279 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,160 Oh, it's horrific. What an impact! 280 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:15,760 But you should see the house. 281 00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:18,000 PHIL CHORTLES LAUGHTER 282 00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:19,720 It is yellow! I can't! 283 00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:22,120 I can't, it's just a cloud! LAUGHTER CONTINUES 284 00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:23,400 Let's see some others. 285 00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:27,040 OK, well, the next one's not, for the squeamish 286 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,240 because it's Reece Shearsm-ish. 287 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:31,120 Oh. 288 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:33,200 THUNDER CLAPS 289 00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:37,520 VINCENT PRICE-ESQUE: And so, Contessa... 290 00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:41,120 ..for three days, you have denied answering our questions. 291 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,800 Mm. You still will not 292 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:45,280 loosen your tongue?! 293 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:48,560 Mm! For the greatest effect... 294 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:52,440 ..one small snip is all it will take. 295 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:56,440 Let us see if we cannot change... your mind. 296 00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:05,760 ALEX STRAINS LOUDLY 297 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:08,040 You still want to confess?! Mm! 298 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:11,320 Ever lower the pit and the pendulum swings 299 00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:13,560 upon the gut of the miscreant. 300 00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:14,600 Mm! 301 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:16,880 Do you have anything to say, my lady? 302 00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:18,080 MUFFLED: Ow! 303 00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:20,000 Other than "ow"? Not really. 304 00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:22,800 You must not steal again... 305 00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:24,240 from the supermarket! 306 00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:26,920 MUFFLED: It wasn't me! 307 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:28,800 It was you! 308 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:30,480 DEATH RATTLE 309 00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:33,160 Ah, she has expired. 310 00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:37,200 Never again will you steal from Asda. 311 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:39,480 MUFFLED: I'm still alive. 312 00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:41,520 Lower it, finish her off. 313 00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:43,760 ALEX GRUNTS 314 00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:46,920 SQUELCHING ALEX WINCES 315 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:50,760 LAUGHTER 316 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:53,000 APPLAUSE 317 00:13:56,280 --> 00:13:57,920 My work here is done. 318 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:02,440 Never again will you steal 319 00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:04,440 cream eggs from Asda. 320 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:07,920 Bring in the next one. 321 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:10,520 He is said to have parked... 322 00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:12,160 ..on a single yellow. 323 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:13,920 LAUGHTER 324 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:17,040 APPLAUSE 325 00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:22,720 Wonderful filmic ambition. 326 00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:24,800 I'd like, for the first time this series, to drill down 327 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:25,960 into the narrative somewhat. 328 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:28,640 Mm-hm.Who are these characters? REECE LAUGHS 329 00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:31,240 Well, it's based clearly on Edgar Allan Poe's 330 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:33,040 Pit and the Pendulum. Of course! 331 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:36,040 Yeah, in which a man is tortured... 332 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:38,320 ..sort of in the inquisition style. 333 00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:42,120 And I changed it slightly that he'd been stealing cream eggs from Asda. 334 00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:43,480 From Asda, yes. 335 00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:46,160 Where was your character from? He was Sp...Spanish? 336 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:48,800 Er, no. LAUGHTER 337 00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:50,280 He's from Hull. 338 00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:54,720 Great effect, indeed. Hmm, OK. 339 00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:56,720 I'd like to announce the end of part one. 340 00:14:56,760 --> 00:14:58,880 And it's time, ladies and gentlemen, 341 00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:00,440 strap yourselves in. 342 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:02,200 Alex is going to end this part 343 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:04,040 with his Robert de Niro impression. 344 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,360 IN NORMAL VOICE: You t... You talking to me? 345 00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:10,920 A-Are you talking to me?! It's like he's in the room! 346 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:12,120 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 347 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:22,760 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 348 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:25,640 Yes! It's the start of part two. 349 00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:28,560 We've been seeing the dramatic consequences that can occur 350 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:31,120 after cutting one single piece of string. 351 00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:34,320 Yes, especially if you parked on "a single yella!" 352 00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:35,880 LAUGHTER 353 00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:40,040 Time now to see what... I didn't know you were from Hull. 354 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:43,760 Sh! Time now to see what Maisie and Sanjeev decided 355 00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:45,560 was a good idea. Here we go. 356 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:53,240 Uh-huh. Right. OK. You sure? 357 00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:54,880 No, but here goes. 358 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:59,960 TENSE MUSIC INTENSIFIES 359 00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:04,920 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 360 00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:10,720 Oh. 361 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:12,680 OK. Thank you, Sanjeev. Hmm. 362 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:16,400 Quite a shame. 363 00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:19,240 Is it? 364 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:26,200 Greatest effect, you want most of the string. 365 00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:28,680 For greatest effect, you want most of the string. 366 00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:31,200 If I cut it at the very end, I've got more string, 367 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,200 so I can do more with it. 368 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:34,840 If I hook it round that... 369 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:39,080 Yeah! So, you are going to cut the string at some point, are you? 370 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:41,680 Alex, leave the room.Oh. LAUGHTER 371 00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:43,000 Right, duck. 372 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:55,160 Upon invitation, Alex is going to walk in, 373 00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:58,000 pull off that hook, and it's going to tug this horse, 374 00:16:58,040 --> 00:16:59,760 which will bring the chicken down. 375 00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:01,880 He'll think, "Right that's the chicken out the way." 376 00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:03,880 Surprise! Another chicken. 377 00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,640 That chicken - still not over. 378 00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:10,200 Third poulet of the day is going to land ready to eat, 379 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:14,440 and I'll be waiting, saying, "Cheers! There's your seat." 380 00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:17,520 Alex, please enter the restaurant. 381 00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:19,040 The restaurant? The...room. 382 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,800 OK, here I come. Yeah. 383 00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:25,520 Hooraaay! 384 00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:28,880 Bon appetit! 385 00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:33,760 SLOWED DOWN: Hooraaay! 386 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:37,280 Bon appetit! 387 00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:39,520 That's an absolute cock-fest, look at that. 388 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:41,280 Three chickens fell over. Yeah. 389 00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:42,760 And you just cut one bit of string. 390 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:44,840 That's really good, innit? Absolute cock-fest. 391 00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:57,200 AUDIENCE GASPS 392 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:06,160 LAUGHTER 393 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:23,600 AUDIENCE GASPS 394 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:28,520 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 395 00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:39,800 LAUGHTER CONTINUES 396 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:43,680 Got one word for you - existentialism. 397 00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:46,760 LAUGHTER CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 398 00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:54,520 I've gotta be honest, I was going to score you highly 399 00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:57,720 when you just let the table miss the egg. 400 00:18:57,760 --> 00:18:59,720 Cos I thought, "That's so clever," 401 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:02,200 because we're all expecting the egg to be smashed 402 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:04,880 and you deliberately made it miss the egg, obviously. Mm-hm. 403 00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:06,200 And then... And then? 404 00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:07,600 ..what a second chapter. 405 00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:09,160 LAUGHTER 406 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:12,000 Did you deliberately have the balls miss the second egg, 407 00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:13,280 or was that just fluke? 408 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,560 That - no, it was deliberate, because the whole thing is, 409 00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:17,040 you expect the eggs to break. 410 00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:19,320 Yeah. And that's why I said it's existential, 411 00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:22,960 because everybody, as people are the kind of most vulnerable thing, 412 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:26,400 like an egg, and situation and time, and the world and everything 413 00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:28,800 is everything else - but we can survive it. 414 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:30,360 ALEX WHEEZES 415 00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:33,920 You, my friend, are on the wrong show. 416 00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:36,000 LAUGHTER 417 00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:39,280 So, Maisie, I did think it was fairly chaotic. 418 00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:42,040 You helped one of the chickens off the thing, 419 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:44,000 but it was still a pretty great effect. 420 00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:45,440 Er, thank you. 421 00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:48,800 And you had the best celebration, as well. "Wahey!" 422 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:51,880 OK, I can score. What is the least effect? 423 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:54,800 Well, it's Ania, I'm sorry.Mm! LAUGHTER 424 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:55,840 1 point to Ania. 425 00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:58,360 OK, I think I'll have to give you 2 on this occasion Maisie, 426 00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:01,400 and I'll give the anvil 3. OK, Phil gets 3. 427 00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:02,800 And now, I don't know... 428 00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:04,680 There was profundity and action, 429 00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:07,560 so I think probably, Sanjeev just pips it. 430 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:09,920 So, 4 points to Reece, 5 points to Sanjeev. 431 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:12,680 There we go, 5 points to Sanjeev. APPLAUSE 432 00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:15,800 Could I see the series scores? Yes, it's tight, it really is. 433 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,080 Sanjeev is at the bottom with 76, 434 00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:20,760 and then, it goes Maisie 80, Phil 81, Ania 82. 435 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:23,160 Reece suddenly in the lead, with 83! 436 00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:26,040 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 437 00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:27,920 Right! Let's have another. 438 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:31,360 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! 439 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:33,640 LAUGHTER 440 00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:45,840 REECE: What is it this time? 441 00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:48,520 Well, we're in a corridor. I know. 442 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:50,840 What if I don't like heights? 443 00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:52,200 OK. 444 00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:56,280 "Write an autobiographical ten-word story. 445 00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:57,800 "You have two minutes. 446 00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:00,480 "Your time starts now." 447 00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:03,240 On the notepad, please. 448 00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:06,120 Ten-word story. I don't think I need that many. 449 00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:07,920 I have to write it? 450 00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:10,400 MAISIE: An autobiographical ten-word story? 451 00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:12,040 That's what he wants. 452 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:14,240 He? Greg. Davies. 453 00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:16,280 LAUGHTER 454 00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:18,800 He's the Taskmaster. Yes! Thank you. 455 00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:24,560 ANIA: Ooh, what else have I done in my life? 456 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:27,400 Great, done. Happy with your story? 457 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:28,720 It's true. 458 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:30,120 Do you mind just showing me... 459 00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:31,600 WHISTLE BLOWS ..your story? 460 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:34,760 HE LAUGHS 461 00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:37,400 That's for you, and I'll take this away, thank you. Oh. 462 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:39,240 Oh. OK. 463 00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:40,560 There we go, that's for you. 464 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:43,000 Oh, I knew you were up to something troublesome. 465 00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:47,640 "Communicate your story to the Taskmaster. 466 00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:49,600 MAISIE: "You may not leave the bridge. 467 00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:52,920 "The most accurately-communicated story wins. 468 00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:55,520 "You have ten minutes to prepare your performance. 469 00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:58,360 "Then 30 seconds to communicate your story. 470 00:21:58,400 --> 00:21:59,560 "Your times tarts now." 471 00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:01,480 You've got time to prepare or practice, or... 472 00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:04,040 No, let's just go for it. You just want to go for it immediately? 473 00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:06,440 Yeah, let's go for it.Right, OK. LAUGHTER 474 00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:10,120 Well, that's bloody useless. 475 00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:11,520 What is this? 476 00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:13,480 Ania, are you ready?Yeah. BOTTLE SPRAYS 477 00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:15,240 Ready, Maisie? Ready. 478 00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:17,560 Am I able to write on this window? 479 00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:19,520 HE LAUGHS DEMENTEDLY 480 00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:21,400 Taskmaster will be watching. 481 00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:23,000 Well, where's the Taskmaster? 482 00:22:26,120 --> 00:22:27,120 Oh, shit! 483 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:29,200 THUNDER CLAPS 484 00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:31,760 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 485 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:34,480 Reece...grumpy that morning? 486 00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:36,120 MAISIE SNICKERS 487 00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:38,720 No, I thought that's me on a good day. 488 00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:41,280 Sanjeev didn't take any rehearsal time, 489 00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:43,520 just launched straight into it. 490 00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:46,800 But we've learnt today, we shouldn't write Sanjeev off. 491 00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:48,280 Often a lot going on up there. 492 00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:50,000 LAUGHTER 493 00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:52,360 Can we see their ten-word stories? I'm ever so excited! 494 00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:54,880 Yeah, So we're going to see them one at a time, Greg. 495 00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:56,920 You've gotta watch it and try to scribble down what you think 496 00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:58,160 the story is, Greg. 497 00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:00,680 First up - is he Mr Cool and Confident? 498 00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:03,280 Or is it Mr Let's Hurry Up So I Can Bog Off Home Early? 499 00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:05,760 Either way, it's definitely Mr Sanjeev Bhaskar. 500 00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:08,960 WHISTLE BLOWS 501 00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:15,520 LAUGHTER 502 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:29,080 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 503 00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:34,120 This is what I've gone with. "A child is born. 504 00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:36,360 "He grows up to be Sanjeev." 505 00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:38,240 LAUGHTER 506 00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:42,360 That might be slightly better than what I wrote. 507 00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:43,760 Well, the gist is pretty good. 508 00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:45,640 The story was, "I was born Sanjeev, 509 00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:47,400 "which I remain to this day." 510 00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:49,440 LAUGHTER ANIA:Wow. 511 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:51,800 It's not bad, not bad. Not bad. 512 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:52,840 APPLAUSE 513 00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:55,600 We have to take the gist is correct into it, when scoring. OK. 514 00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:58,280 You want to see another one? Yes, I do, whose can I see? 515 00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:01,000 I want you to see Maisie's ten-word story. 516 00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:02,200 OK. Here we go. 517 00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:03,240 WHISTLE BLOWS 518 00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:14,400 WHISTLE BLOWS 519 00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:16,840 LAUGHTER 520 00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:18,000 APPLAUSE 521 00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:20,120 You looked like you don't know what it was. 522 00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:22,200 I don't know what that was. LAUGHTER 523 00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:23,600 I've got it. Oh? 524 00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:25,600 You're ahead of me. 525 00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:30,200 I've written, "Bored woman sarcastically indicates 526 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:32,600 "she did not enjoy man's company." 527 00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:34,720 LAUGHTER 528 00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:37,160 I mean, that is my autobiography, actually. 529 00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:41,800 It's not a million miles off. 530 00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:45,200 Maisie, you wrote, "He keeps explaining the plot 531 00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:46,480 "of the show I'm in." 532 00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:48,320 LAUGHTER 533 00:24:48,360 --> 00:24:51,520 What? Because you asked me to read the rules out a couple of times, 534 00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:53,680 you got infuriated, you wrote that down. 535 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,160 LAUGHTER I'm a fucking idiot! 536 00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:01,240 You've had highs, but... this is a low. OK. 537 00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:04,000 Who's next? OK, I'm going to show you one more before the break. 538 00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:07,480 Here is Phil's autobiographical ten-word story. Have a look. 539 00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:08,800 WHISTLE BLOWS 540 00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:24,680 LAUGHTER 541 00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:40,920 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 542 00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:46,200 A tale as old as time. 543 00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:47,240 LAUGHTER 544 00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:48,840 I'll tell you what's thrown it, 545 00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:50,760 and what I think's going to damage it is 546 00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:53,560 I couldn't decide what this was. 547 00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:55,960 And in the end, I decided it was a circus tent. 548 00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,040 Do you think you've got it? This is what I've written. 549 00:25:58,080 --> 00:25:59,120 Ready? OK, yeah. 550 00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:01,920 "Child born to circus. 551 00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:03,400 "Runs away. 552 00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:05,120 "But returns when skint. 553 00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:07,840 LAUGHTER 554 00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:10,360 No, I-I think that's pretty... Yeah. 555 00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:13,200 He actually wrote, "Preston-born, Preston-raised, 556 00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:14,680 "left Preston, failed. 557 00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:16,040 "Returned to Preston." 558 00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:17,600 LAUGHTER 559 00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:19,200 That's pretty good! 560 00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:22,240 APPLAUSE The journey's there!Yeah. 561 00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:24,400 Remember why? 562 00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:26,200 Pr-Priest town. Priest town. 563 00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:29,160 Er, is this a church, then? That's a church. Come on! Oh! 564 00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:31,240 Got a couple of words right, and you got the gist right, 565 00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:32,840 but circus was wrong. 566 00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:35,120 OK, it's break time once more. 567 00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:36,840 So, stand up, have a stretch, 568 00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:38,320 have a scratch, have a retch, 569 00:26:38,360 --> 00:26:40,080 have a burp, have a yawn, 570 00:26:40,120 --> 00:26:41,720 pick up your phone, look at some porn, 571 00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:43,320 close the curtains, make a den, 572 00:26:43,360 --> 00:26:45,400 and before you know, we'll be back again! 573 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:47,000 LAUGHTER 574 00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:56,720 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hello! 575 00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:58,760 Welcome back to part three of Taskmaster. 576 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,120 Before the break, the cast had written ten-word 577 00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:04,400 autobiographical stories, and were trying to communicate them 578 00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:06,200 in silence for me to interpret. 579 00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:09,480 What would your ten-word story be, Alex? 580 00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:11,560 Hmm, good question. I suppose it'd be s... 581 00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:13,000 NO-ONE CARES! 582 00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:15,720 LAUGHTER AUDIENCE AWWS 583 00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:18,560 OK, well, here's Reece's s...story now. 584 00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:22,720 Ten-word, autobiographical, have a look at this. 585 00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:23,760 WHISTLE BLOWS 586 00:27:52,120 --> 00:27:54,760 APPLAUSE 587 00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:57,040 So, that's what you've got to work on, Greg. 588 00:27:57,080 --> 00:28:00,400 OK, well, all I've got is, "When I was a little." 589 00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:02,440 I don't know what to do.No. LAUGHTER 590 00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:04,200 Well, it's an autobiographical story, 591 00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:07,200 what do you think happened to Reece when he was little, I suppose? 592 00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:10,040 "When I was a little boy, 593 00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:12,320 "I was... 594 00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:17,440 "..sometimes...grumpy." 595 00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:20,120 LAUGHTER 596 00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:22,760 Well, you've got the gist of it. Oh. 597 00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:26,120 "When I was little, I choked on Monster Munch crisps." 598 00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:28,680 LAUGHTER 599 00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:30,960 Which would make you cross. Really angry. 600 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:33,000 On the back of my brother's bike. 601 00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:36,520 Oh. I started to choke on pickled onion Monster Munch crisps. 602 00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:38,160 The greatest of all the flavours. 603 00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:40,120 The thing that saved me was those holes in the crisps, 604 00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:42,440 and I think it went... and I had a gap. 605 00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:45,760 He's only here because he breathed through a Monster Munch foot. 606 00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:48,120 Well, there's only one left to see. Here we go. 607 00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:51,040 Fania-lly - finally - it's Ania. 608 00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:53,720 Fania... No? OK. Ania! 609 00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:54,760 WHISTLE BLOWS 610 00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:25,280 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 611 00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:26,920 There's a lot there1 612 00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:31,480 It was like a Kate Bush music video. 613 00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:34,400 Have you auditioned for Rada? Cos that... 614 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:35,960 ANIA: Do you think that was good? Yeah. 615 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:37,320 And he was in Paddington 2. 616 00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:39,160 LAUGHTER 617 00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:42,640 That's true, isn't it? Th-That is true. 618 00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:45,760 I didn't finish the previous sentence to which you... Oh, sorry. 619 00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:48,160 ..you took as a compliment. 620 00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:50,520 LAUGHTER 621 00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:52,160 Wait, what were you going to say? 622 00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:53,440 But well done. 623 00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:56,760 So, this is what I've gone with. Mm-hm. 624 00:29:56,800 --> 00:29:59,280 "Baby born to dancing cat 625 00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:02,680 "who writes, jumps, and then dies." 626 00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:07,760 "Ania born, Cats the musical, school, university, 627 00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:10,280 "trampolining, Ania die." 628 00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:12,000 AUDIENCE OOHS Ooh. 629 00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:14,120 Oh! It was the full life. 630 00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:15,880 I told the story in a different way, 631 00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:17,880 I did it through bullet points, which I think, 632 00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:20,240 I didn't realise that you could do it as one sentence. 633 00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:22,920 I thought it was like, do the main events of your life - 634 00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:26,480 birth, Cats the musical, I went trampolining... 635 00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:29,640 C...Cats the musical was a big thing in your life, right? Yeah. 636 00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:31,760 Were you in it, or...? I watched it. 637 00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:33,720 LAUGHTER 638 00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:35,320 What did you write again, Greg? 639 00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:37,760 Er, "Baby born..." "Ania born." That's good. 640 00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:39,920 ..to "dancing cat..." Cats the musical. 641 00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:41,200 .."who writes..." 642 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:42,920 School, university. 643 00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:44,560 .."jumps..." Trampolining. 644 00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:46,160 .."and dies." Ania die. 645 00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:49,800 Wow.That's really good. APPLAUSE 646 00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:54,320 So, it seems to me Maisie unfortunately should come in 647 00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:56,280 last place, and receive 1 point... DEFLATEDLY: Yeah. 648 00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:57,960 OK, cos she didn't really understand it. 649 00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,520 ..followed by half-a-story Reece, with 2 points. OK. 650 00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:03,160 Phil didn't go to the circus, but he did the rest of the stuff. 651 00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:04,920 Yeah. 3 points. 652 00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:07,520 Ania, surprisingly accurate, 653 00:31:07,560 --> 00:31:10,120 despite unusual priorities in life... 654 00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:12,160 LAUGHTER ..4 points. 655 00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:17,120 But Sanjeev proving once again, sometimes simplicity is best. 656 00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:20,240 Five points to Sanjeev Bhaskar! 5 points. 657 00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:23,280 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 658 00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:25,560 Another task, please, my basic boy! 659 00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:27,520 Yes, I am here to adhere! 660 00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:29,360 And now, what the flippers? 661 00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:30,640 We're off to the lab. 662 00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:48,280 Hello. You OK? 663 00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:51,400 I am, yeah. You? Nice flower. 664 00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:52,920 This a new look you're trying? 665 00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:55,120 Maybe, I just thought I'd mix things up. OK. 666 00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:58,760 Hello. You know there're protests outside this lab. Again? 667 00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:01,840 Yeah. They're trying to stop you whatever you're doing here. 668 00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:04,080 Should I step into the ring? 669 00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:06,800 That's up to you. Well... 670 00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:08,200 ..is it? 671 00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:16,280 Eugh. Creepy. 672 00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:18,360 No strings attached to this, is there? 673 00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:22,960 "Wear the flippers correctly. 674 00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:27,800 "The slowest wins. 675 00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:31,040 "Your time started when you entered the room. 676 00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:32,600 I have read that correctly. 677 00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:34,880 "Slowest wins." 678 00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:36,880 Slowest? 679 00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:38,600 What a strange task. 680 00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:43,320 APPLAUSE 681 00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:46,360 This is a particularly confusing task. It was SLOWEST wins. 682 00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:49,480 Slowest wins. No explanation. It was very odd. 683 00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:51,520 Hmm. What a tricky use of words. 684 00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:53,280 So irritating, isn't he? 685 00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:56,560 Let's begin with two very famous faces from the stage and screen, 686 00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:59,520 perhaps best known for playing Martin in London's Burning, 687 00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:01,160 and Ravi, the Indian Cobra, 688 00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:03,640 from Zoo Rush 2: Destination New York, 689 00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:05,400 it's Reece and Sanjeev. 690 00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:06,440 LAUGHTER 691 00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:10,280 Slowest wins. 692 00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:12,640 So, I've got to sort of make a meal of it. 693 00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:15,040 Oh, look, there's loads of little chopsticks. 694 00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:24,040 What I'm going to do is try to not come out of this...circle. 695 00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:26,440 I'm going to try and get the flippers with chopsticks. 696 00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:27,520 Yes. 697 00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:32,880 Am I missing something? 698 00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:39,000 The thing is, Alex, there is no right or wrong. 699 00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:40,240 Is that right? 700 00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:44,800 LAUGHTER 701 00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:47,240 WHINILY: Don't...confuse me. 702 00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:49,840 Slowest wins. 703 00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:51,880 You look like a cowboy. Do I? 704 00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:58,120 Oh! Something's happening. Ooh! 705 00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:02,880 I mean, I'm going to go and have lunch now. 706 00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:05,080 How long are you going to spend having lunch? 707 00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:07,480 You never want to rush lunch, so an hour for lunch, 708 00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:08,880 and then, I might have a nap, 709 00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:10,440 and then, I-I'll go home. 710 00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:13,360 Meet you back here tomorrow. Meet you back here tomorrow. 711 00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:22,080 I can't deviate from the path. 712 00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:23,880 Can you not? 713 00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:27,080 LAUGHTER 714 00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:36,960 Ooh. I don't get it. 715 00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:41,080 Because it's easy to do something slowly. 716 00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:42,840 Stop the clock, is it? OK. 717 00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:44,560 OK. I'm going. 718 00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:53,880 Ah. I was heading off... 719 00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:56,840 Yes. ..but then, I thought, you know, overnight and stuff, 720 00:34:56,880 --> 00:34:58,280 that's just a step too far. 721 00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:00,040 HE STRAINS 722 00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:03,800 Right, the flippers are on. The flippers are on. 723 00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:06,080 And I-I've stopped the clock. 724 00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:08,600 APPLAUSE 725 00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:14,640 When they found out it's the longest task, 726 00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:18,800 Sanjeev just went for lunch for six hours and 19 minutes? 727 00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:20,800 We did, yeah, we did other tasks, as well. 728 00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:23,640 I think, in many ways, your attempt was more in the spirit 729 00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:26,720 of the show, in that you decided to give yourself extra tasks. 730 00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:28,680 The chopstick ladder... 731 00:35:28,720 --> 00:35:31,720 Well, it was to buy time, it seemed to be the right thing to do. 732 00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:34,080 Of course. Why sit there doing nothing? 733 00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:37,640 Why go for a nice lunch when you can make a chopstick ladder? 734 00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:39,680 And not deviate from the path. 735 00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:43,400 He's making his own rules. 736 00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:47,280 OK! That's the end of the third part of this Taskmaster chapter. 737 00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:49,080 In the final part of the show, 738 00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:53,240 Alex will be up on the stage wearing Princess Diana's revenge dress 739 00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:54,400 and a load of sausages. 740 00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:55,920 LAUGHTER See you soon! 741 00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:08,520 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 742 00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:10,600 Welcome back to the last part of the show. 743 00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:14,320 Alex, are we about to finally find out what the hell is going on 744 00:36:14,360 --> 00:36:15,640 in this current task? 745 00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:18,160 Well, Greg I'm pleased to say, we are! 746 00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:22,400 Which is less good news for Reece and Sanjeev. 747 00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:25,320 So, let's get some answers with our dear friend Pam - 748 00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:27,280 that's Phil, Ania, and Maisie, "Pam" - 749 00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:29,200 their initials spell Pam. 750 00:36:29,240 --> 00:36:30,720 LAUGHTER 751 00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:33,480 Am I allowed out this ring? Hmm, it's up to you. 752 00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:44,720 Can I open that? 753 00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:53,000 "Every time you say the F word, F word, or F, 754 00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:54,440 "your time is halved. 755 00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:56,280 "Every time you say flipper, 756 00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:58,280 "flippers, or flower..." 757 00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:00,680 Oh. I said f... 758 00:37:00,720 --> 00:37:02,440 LAUGHTER 759 00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:03,520 F...Fuck! 760 00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:07,960 "Every time one of your feet leaves the circle, 761 00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:09,760 "your time is halved. 762 00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:11,880 I'm just confused as to why there's a ring. 763 00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:14,800 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not mentioned in it, is it? 764 00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:17,040 "Every time you laugh, your time is halved." 765 00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:18,440 Well that's all right. 766 00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:20,280 CHUCKLING: Am I missing something? 767 00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:24,280 That was disappointing. 768 00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:25,360 HE LAUGHS 769 00:37:26,520 --> 00:37:29,760 "You must put the flippers on within ten actual minutes 770 00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:33,160 "of entering this room, or you will be disqualified." 771 00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:36,400 Ah. I was heading off... 772 00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:39,120 ..but then, I thought, you know, overnight and stuff, 773 00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:40,480 that's just a step too far. 774 00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:43,960 MAISIE: "After reading this, 775 00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:45,800 "you must immediately return to the circle." 776 00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:47,000 But I wasn't in the circle! 777 00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:49,240 Oh, so I don't have to get back in the circle, cos I was never there. 778 00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:51,480 Well, you can't return. Can't return somewhere you've not been. 779 00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:54,560 "And the flippers must be where they were when you entered this room." 780 00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:56,080 Correct. 781 00:37:56,120 --> 00:37:58,480 But there's a lot of rules here, Alex, like... 782 00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:00,480 ..have a day off, do you know what I mean? 783 00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:02,440 LAUGHTER 784 00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:05,640 You look like you know what you're doing. 785 00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:08,040 Yeah, this is always the key thing, I think, is to look like 786 00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:09,440 you know what you're doing. 787 00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:12,400 I thought there was going to be something with the flowers. 788 00:38:12,440 --> 00:38:14,440 Ohh! 789 00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:15,880 F...! 790 00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:18,120 How do you know how to do a lasso knot? I don't. 791 00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:19,160 HE CHUCKLES 792 00:38:20,240 --> 00:38:22,960 So, I've gotta wait until it's just about to go ten minutes, 793 00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:24,200 and put the flippers on? 794 00:38:24,240 --> 00:38:26,160 Oh, f...! 795 00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:28,720 How long left, Alex? I can't tell you that, Maisie. 796 00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:31,040 You can't tell... What are you here for, then? 797 00:38:31,080 --> 00:38:34,080 I'm here to write down how many times you say "flippers". 798 00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:35,400 EXASPERATED SIGH 799 00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:37,360 There's something else I'm missing here. 800 00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:39,360 HE LAUGHS 801 00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:41,560 What am I missing? LAUGHTER CONTINUES 802 00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:46,320 OVERLAPPING LAUGHTER TURNS MANIACAL 803 00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:47,840 What...what is it? 804 00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:57,920 MANIACAL LAUGHTER 805 00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:02,680 Oh, you. 806 00:39:03,720 --> 00:39:06,200 "After reading this, you must immediately return to the circle, 807 00:39:06,240 --> 00:39:08,680 "and the flippers must be where they were when you entered this room. 808 00:39:08,720 --> 00:39:10,400 Yeah. Do you want to give me the flippers? 809 00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:12,040 We've gotta put them back. What? 810 00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:14,080 So, I've gotta start again? Yeah. 811 00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:16,200 Oh, come on I did the lasso thing! 812 00:39:16,240 --> 00:39:17,440 HE LAUGHS 813 00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:18,880 OK, I have all my supplies. 814 00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:20,600 How long have you been in this room? 815 00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:21,920 I think probably... 816 00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:24,280 ..seven minutes. 817 00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:25,440 AUDIENCE OOHS 818 00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:27,600 Lasso... Hey! Come on! 819 00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:28,640 Oh... 820 00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:31,560 Shall I stop the clock? Yeah. 821 00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:32,600 Stopped the clock. 822 00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:35,080 Stop the clock? Yeah. 823 00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:39,280 Yeah, I'm not laughing any more either. 824 00:39:40,720 --> 00:39:42,560 All right. I've stopped the clock. Whoo. 825 00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:44,520 Least I'll be leaving with my dignity. 826 00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:48,240 LAUGHTER 827 00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:50,400 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 828 00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:55,720 The next time you get asked to write a ten-word autobiography, 829 00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:57,520 that seven-minute thing's gotta go in. 830 00:39:57,560 --> 00:39:59,880 Was that actually bang-on? It was uncanny, yeah. Really? 831 00:39:59,920 --> 00:40:02,200 It was as the minute ticked over. Wow! 832 00:40:02,240 --> 00:40:04,200 That's not funny, that's just cool. 833 00:40:04,240 --> 00:40:05,600 LAUGHTER 834 00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:07,760 So, I can tell you some stats, Greg. 835 00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:11,320 Tell me them. Maisie, when you read the instructions, 836 00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:14,360 panicked, and put the flippers on in a total of three minutes 837 00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:16,080 and 52 seconds... 838 00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:18,160 ..which we then have to halve ten times 839 00:40:18,200 --> 00:40:20,800 because of various...problems. 840 00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:24,040 So, you completed the task in 0.22 seconds. 841 00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:27,320 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 842 00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:28,360 Seriously? 843 00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:30,840 It's already better than Sanjeev and Reece. 844 00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:33,160 Ania, the human clock, 845 00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:36,360 finished it in nine minutes, 25 seconds. Whoa! 846 00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:38,120 AUDIENCE GASPS 847 00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:42,160 You only had to halve it seven times, 848 00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:45,040 so about four-and-a-half seconds, she completed the task. OK. 849 00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:46,800 Let's not bother with the next one. 850 00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:48,480 LAUGHTER 851 00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:52,000 Er, are we not leading to the joker being the winner? 852 00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:53,040 Phil... 853 00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:55,360 GREG IMITATES PHIL'S MANIACAL LAUGHTER 854 00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:57,640 ..had to complete the task in ten minutes. 855 00:40:57,680 --> 00:41:00,320 He put the flippers on in ten minutes and five seconds. 856 00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:01,600 AUDIENCE OHHS 857 00:41:01,640 --> 00:41:04,200 If you hadn't done the lassoing, if you hadn't done the lassoing, 858 00:41:04,240 --> 00:41:05,960 you would've done it in under ten minutes. 859 00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:08,600 But I'm afraid, like the older men, he is disqualified. Ah! 860 00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:11,200 So, only two scorers in that. Only two scorers. 861 00:41:11,240 --> 00:41:12,560 It's 4 points to Maisie... 862 00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:15,120 Oh, bloody - I'll take that, yeah. LAUGHTER 863 00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:17,080 ..and 5 points to Ania! Wow. 864 00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:19,480 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 865 00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:21,960 Let's have a quick look at the scores, then. 866 00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:24,640 Sanjeev is in the lead with 14 points! 867 00:41:27,560 --> 00:41:30,440 OK, everyone, will you all please... 868 00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:33,320 Ah! Stay put. ANIA AND MAISIE TITTER 869 00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:35,040 ANIA AND MAISIE GASP BOTH:Ooh! 870 00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:37,080 ..for the final task of the show! 871 00:41:41,440 --> 00:41:44,120 CASIO BEAT PLAYS 872 00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:47,600 Whoa! Oh, whoa! 873 00:41:47,640 --> 00:41:51,320 So, Greg, I think Phil should read the task. 874 00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:53,720 OK, here we go. Ah-hem! 875 00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:56,680 "Find the age of the mystery person. 876 00:41:56,720 --> 00:41:59,280 "You must stay on your seats at all times. 877 00:41:59,320 --> 00:42:01,320 "You may ask one question at a time, 878 00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:03,600 "going from oldest to youngest, 879 00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:06,600 "and you may only say two numbers each. 880 00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:09,000 "The person may only say yes or no. 881 00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:11,720 "First person to say the correct age wins." 882 00:42:11,760 --> 00:42:14,760 So, there's someone behind that screen. Yeah. 883 00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:16,960 You've got to work out their age by asking them questions. 884 00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:20,280 The twist is, you can only say two numbers throughout the whole thing. 885 00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:22,120 There will be only one winner of this task, 886 00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:24,480 one person takes away 5 points, the rest gets 0. 887 00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:25,520 MAISIE GASPS LOUDLY 888 00:42:25,560 --> 00:42:27,520 Do you understand how high the stakes are now? 889 00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:29,720 Yes, I do! Wow. 890 00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:32,080 So, this time, we're going oldest to youngest. 891 00:42:32,120 --> 00:42:34,840 Hello, Sanjeev.Thanks. LAUGHTER 892 00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:37,440 You may ask our mystery person a question. 893 00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:40,360 Er, are you in your third decade? 894 00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:41,560 MODIFIED VOICE: No. 895 00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:43,640 OK. Oh, come on! 896 00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:47,560 REECE: When you look in the mirror, do you think you look old? 897 00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:49,600 No. 898 00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:51,880 Right, we're off! LAUGHTER 899 00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:54,800 PHIL: Are you in a decade above the one Sanjeev mentioned? 900 00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:55,920 No. 901 00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:58,600 One is definitely a number. MAISIE: You mentioned a number! 902 00:42:58,640 --> 00:43:00,600 What? One is a number. One is a number. 903 00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:03,560 Oh, for f...! LAUGHTER 904 00:43:03,600 --> 00:43:06,160 So, three questions down, one number gone for Phil. 905 00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:07,400 Maisie, it's your turn. 906 00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:09,800 Were you alive for the moon landing? 907 00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:10,920 ANIA: Oh. 908 00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:12,280 Yes. 909 00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:14,800 GREG: I was, er, one. 910 00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:16,640 Please don't help the contestants. 911 00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:18,440 LAUGHTER 912 00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:24,320 Does your number... start with letter S? 913 00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:26,440 PHIL: Oh, that's a good one. Oh, Ania! 914 00:43:26,480 --> 00:43:28,640 Yes. AUDIENCE OOHS 915 00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:30,120 This is good. This is good. 916 00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:33,280 Are the two numbers? 917 00:43:33,320 --> 00:43:36,680 AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS DISAPPROVINGLY 918 00:43:36,720 --> 00:43:38,120 Well, you've only got one left. 919 00:43:38,160 --> 00:43:40,240 but you might as well finish this question. 920 00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:42,400 Er, are the two numbers in your age the same? 921 00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:43,640 No. 922 00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:44,840 GREG: Oh, this is lovely. OK. 923 00:43:44,880 --> 00:43:46,760 It's a great question, you have sacrificed a number, though. 924 00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:47,920 This is lovely. Reece? 925 00:43:47,960 --> 00:43:49,400 Are you 68? ALEX GASPS 926 00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:51,760 He's used a number, is it worth it? 927 00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:52,800 No. 928 00:43:52,840 --> 00:43:54,840 GREG: Oh! God, it was bold, though. Yeah! 929 00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:57,320 LAUGHTER OK, we've ruled out 68. 930 00:43:57,360 --> 00:44:04,680 Is the letter that follows the other letter of your age... 931 00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:09,600 ..an I, and that's not a Roman numeral? 932 00:44:09,640 --> 00:44:12,560 LAUGHTER 933 00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:13,600 No. 934 00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:14,840 Oh. Huh? 935 00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:16,520 Oh. Oh. Oh! 936 00:44:16,560 --> 00:44:18,640 I-I'm not sure our mystery person's comp... 937 00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:20,600 Do you mind asking the question again? 938 00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:25,160 Does the letter that follows the other letter you mentioned 939 00:44:25,200 --> 00:44:30,240 from...that part of your age begin with... 940 00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:32,160 ..the letter I? 941 00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:35,880 Oh, and I don't mean Roman numeral - I thought that deserved more love. 942 00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:37,160 LAUGHTER 943 00:44:37,200 --> 00:44:39,560 I-It did deserve more. Thank you. 944 00:44:39,600 --> 00:44:41,800 MODIFIED VOICE: I don't understand the question. 945 00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:44,640 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 946 00:44:46,360 --> 00:44:50,320 Is the letter that follows the other letter that you mentioned 947 00:44:50,360 --> 00:44:55,320 to spell out your age...an I? 948 00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:57,560 Yes. Yes. 949 00:44:57,600 --> 00:44:59,760 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 950 00:45:01,680 --> 00:45:04,080 It takes us down to one specific decade, for sure. 951 00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:06,760 Can you ride the bus for free? No. 952 00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:10,000 GREG: So, they can't ride the bus for free. 953 00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:14,640 The bit that we've narrowed it down...about... 954 00:45:14,680 --> 00:45:17,560 ..is that number got curves? 955 00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:19,840 LAUGHTER 956 00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:21,040 Yes. 957 00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:25,440 Were you born after the Cuban missile crisis? 958 00:45:25,480 --> 00:45:26,960 No. 959 00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:32,080 Does the second number...rhyme... 960 00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:34,160 ANIA: Oh! ..with "more"? 961 00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:35,720 No. Oh. 962 00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:37,200 If it had done, Reece... 963 00:45:37,240 --> 00:45:38,800 GREG: You would've given it to someone else. 964 00:45:38,840 --> 00:45:40,840 Well, it's magnanimous. 965 00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:42,520 I don't know if I should just guess. 966 00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:43,880 Just guess, Phil. 967 00:45:43,920 --> 00:45:46,800 AUDIENCE CHEERS 968 00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:48,560 What a rush! 969 00:45:48,600 --> 00:45:53,800 Are you...63 years old? 970 00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:54,840 Yes. 971 00:45:58,720 --> 00:46:00,840 It's Quentin, from series 13 and 18! 972 00:46:00,880 --> 00:46:02,840 # Get to the stage to guess the age 973 00:46:02,880 --> 00:46:04,720 # Get to the stage to guess the age... # 974 00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:07,680 And is that your real voice, Quentin? 975 00:46:07,720 --> 00:46:10,000 MODIFIED VOICE:I hope not. LAUGHTER 976 00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:12,360 Quentin, thank you so much for being our guest, 977 00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:15,520 we'll add up the scores and see how that affects the final scores. 978 00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:17,760 Goodbye! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 979 00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:21,440 That was a high-octane round. 980 00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:22,600 LAUGHTER 981 00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:25,400 Is it on purpose, that that number is written all over the house? 982 00:46:25,440 --> 00:46:28,000 Everything's on purpose. AUDIENCE GASPS 983 00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:29,840 63 was the age of Quentin, 984 00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:32,120 which means that Phil wins 5 points! 985 00:46:32,160 --> 00:46:35,560 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Well done, Phil! 986 00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:37,400 And so... And so, sadly for Sanjeev, 987 00:46:37,440 --> 00:46:39,640 who has not won an episode yet, 988 00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:42,800 he's come second in this one. The winner, with 16 points, 989 00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:44,760 is Phil Ellis! I've won again?! 990 00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:46,920 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Phil Ellis wins! 991 00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:49,480 Please head up to pick up some clothing 992 00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:51,360 for the person I'm loathing! 993 00:46:51,400 --> 00:46:52,960 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 994 00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:56,120 Here he is, the latest winner, Phil Ellis, 995 00:46:56,160 --> 00:46:59,080 and little Alex Hooorne! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 996 00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:26,080 Subtitles by Red Bee Media