Shh! Ugh!
Bye-bye! Eugh!
Arggh!
Ohh!
Mmm!
This is the best day of my life.
Yep. Go on.
Eughhh!
Shh!
Yes, hello and welcome, one and all, to Taskmaster Australia.
Many months ago, I sent five comedians
of varying levels of fame, success and hand-eye coordination
to our private Taskmaster retreat
to complete a series of complex tasks.
Why would they put themselves through it?
The answer is simple -
to win this, my iconic head
re-created in pure gold paint and medium-heavy plastic.
As they will be every week,
our contestants are Danielle Walker...
..Jimmy Rees, Julia Morris,
Luke McGregor and Nina Oyama.
Tonight I have the distinct pleasure of watching them attempt things
and deciding who is good and who is shit.
It's the job of a lifetime!
Speaking of job of a lifetime,
look who the work experience people have sent us today.
It's a younger, keener Tom -
my assistant Tom Cashman.
Tom 2 will be keeping us up to date with stats and figures this evening.
Have you got some good ones for us? I do have some good ones.
2 minutes and 25 seconds.
I've also got 71%.
And if you think those are good, just wait till they're in context.
Shall we dive into a task?
Our first task is a prize task.
So all five of our contestants have brought in a prize.
The one that tickles the Taskmaster the most will receive 5 points.
The one that tickles him the least will get 1 point.
2, 3 and 4 points will also be given based on the level of tickling.
The winner of tonight's episode will take home all five prizes.
Ooh! OK.
A brilliant system terribly explained.
What have they brought in for us tonight?
Our contestants have brought in what they consider to be
the most satisfying thing to touch.
Ooh.
I've always believed the most satisfying thing to touch
is a nation's heart.
Jimmy, what have you got?
I have three children, um, and...
I would like to redact this.
I brought in kinetic sand, OK?
OK.
This is everywhere in my house and it's very satisfying to touch.
Long the kids are gone
and I am still playing with the kinetic sand
and it is very, very satisfying to touch.
OK, so even when your kids are out the door
doing something else and you're home alone,
your first thing that you want to touch is kinetic sand?
Luke, what have you got?
I brought in the union valley spot on your hand.
Oh. What?
Sorry. Can you just say that again, Luke?
Can I... So this... I brought this.
This...this spot.
Do you realise that spot is also on your own hand
and you could've sat down and...
Sit down over there. Sit down.
So it's supposed to relieve headaches and backaches.
I'm not sure about this one.
You're saying it's satisfying to touch,
but you're touching yourself so you're also being touched.
How much joy are you giving and how much are you receiving?
You try it.
Like... I don't want to try it.
Nina, what did you bring in for us tonight?
Uh, I brought in my arse...
..moulded in one of those hand pinny thingies
that you touch in the science shop.
So you brought in a thing and you love it so much,
you don't even know how to name it, that's how often you use it?
Well, I don't know... What do you call it?
I don't know. You brought it in.
On your shelf, what do you call it when you point to it?
I typed in, "Hand pin mouldy thingy,"
and it came up.
I really hope that you like it
'cause it was a real 'pin' in my arse to make.
Don't applaud. You'll make it worse.
Danielle?
I brought in the most satisfying thing to touch,
which is sensitive weed.
The leaves open up and then when you touch them,
they shut up like that.
Oh! Ooh!
Yeah!
You know what? The crowd's into it and I'm always swayed by the crowd.
Thank God. It made athletics day at school entertaining for me.
OK.
I would just sit on the ground and stroke those plants.
When you used to sit there stroking those plants, were you...
I'm guessing you were on your own?
There was a few other kids like me
and if you could fit three kids around, you would.
If not, you'd be very protective of your patch of weeds.
She wasn't doing shot-put. She was staying put.
Oh, yeah.
Am I allowed to make you lose points?
Julia? Ooh!
Yes. OK.
So I got it in a towel.
We weren't supposed to bring it in to the actual thing,
otherwise everyone would've touched the kinetic sand
and I would've won already.
No, I brought mine in as well. Oh, God!
OK, what is that?
That's the prostate. Oh.
Julia, I have to ask the obvious question -
have you touched one?
Uh, I'm not legally allowed
to talk about whether I've touched it or not.
But that's it and apparently boom crash opera.
Alright. That's what I'm talking about!
Alright, well, I'm gonna start at the bottom, I think.
Luke's on 1 definitely
because you just described touching your own hand.
But you didn't even try... Do you want me to try?
Alright, I'll try!
1. There we go.
At least I know how to de-stress.
I feel like Julia I'm gonna put on number 2
'cause I feel like most of the pleasure's
going to the person whose prostate is being touched.
And then I'm gonna put Jimmy at 3...
What? ..for kinetic sand.
Nina above that. OK.
And Danielle I'm gonna give 5 points to
just because I feel sorry for her
sitting on her own at an athletics day.
I'll take it!
Danielle is off to a rousing start, but only one of our contestants
will get to touch all these satisfying things.
Ooh, I'm ready for a proper meaty task, lesser Tom.
What have you got for me? Let's have a look.
Hi, Danielle. Good morning.
How are you, sir? I'm alright.
Ooh! Dog collar. That takes me back, babes.
OK. Ooh!
What's that? Oh, oh, oh. The task is...
Oh, yeah, gotta read the letter.
"Let the cat out of the bag."
"Once you touch a bag, you must open it."
"Fewest bag openings wins."
"Your time starts..." I can't...
"Your time starts..."
"Meow!"
Is that... And that's 'now'? 'Meow'?
Do you like that joke? Yes, very clever.
So a pretty simple task here.
We've got 100 bags and you've got to find the cat
while opening as few bags as possible.
Whose attempt are we looking at first?
He shares his name with Carr and Fallon,
but he doesn't 'Carey' - it's Jimmy Rees.
There's a cat in a bag. I get it. I've got it.
The cat is...here!
Is that a cat?
Don't think so.
Is that a cat? Don't think so.
There's a bowl and a chilli. Right.
I know you, Tom. There is a pattern to it all.
A koala...
..with some milk.
And there's a chicken with some milk!
We've got milk, milk, milk,
ice, ice...
Baby.
What? Sorry.
I just thought it'd be funny to say 'baby' after you said 'ice' twice.
OK, I...I've got it. I figured it out.
OK, it's a game of warm/cold.
Warm/cold? Chilli is hot.
So I'm close over here.
Dog has a...
..chilli!
So I'm getting warmer.
There's a sausage or maybe it's a chorizo. That's a bit spicy.
The chillies are here. There's sausage there.
This one is...
Can I get a drum roll, please, Tom?
This one is...
..a cat!
Yes!
I have found the cat!
I'm a bit worried about your palate 'cause at one point,
you picked up what was clearly a frankfurt
and called it a spicy chorizo.
It was near a chilli so I was like, "I'm getting warmer."
So you just willed it into being spicier than it was?
Basically!
The kransky wasn't cooked, it wasn't hot.
What does a frankfurt go in?
Oh, go...yourself.
Do you have any stats for us? I do.
Jimmy opened a total of 22 bags. AUDIENCE: Ooh.
OK, have we got time for another? We do!
Hopefully killing won't be necessary
and curiosity will just find the cat.
It's Nina Oyama.
So there's a cat in one of these bags.
And I have to let it out?
Is there, like, salsa in this bag?
OK.
Oh, it's a bunny! That's not a cat.
You can see in some of the bags.
I think I've seen in this one. Ooh!
No, definitely not.
Oh, maybe we're in business. Oh, shit!
Come on, come on, come on!
Is this a cat?
Oh, cool.
How do you feel?
I feel like I won this one.
I feel like I might win this whole show.
Right. Yeah.
You're that confident just after this?
Yeah, I'll bet you $50.
$50. Agreed.
Have a good day!
You seem genuinely disappointed that you did well.
Yeah, 'cause I always think I'm gonna fail
and then when I do OK, I'm like,
"What the hell? That's not supposed to happen."
Speaking of disappointment, I don't know how you'd feel
spending hours putting different foodstuffs
and different soft toys in bags
only for someone to just look through the little hole in it.
Well, maybe you should've thought about that before you...
Stats?
Nina opened two bags in total.
Alright, we're due a break.
More comedians opening bags
filled with soft toys and foods of varying temperatures after this.
Television doesn't get any more exciting. See you soon!
Welcome back to Taskmaster episode two,
the long awaited sequel to episode one.
We are smack bang in the middle of a riveting task, aren't we, Tom?
Well, that's subjective, but I think so.
Our contestants are in the middle of trying to get a cat out of a bag
while limiting their number of bags opened.
Nina 'Two Bags' Oyama is currently in the lead.
Let's see some more cat hunting. Who have you got?
It's Luke and Danielle!
OK. Cat, cat.
It's...it's not alive, is it?
Here, kitty!
Hm. What are you thinking?
I was, like...
Maybe there'd be something to give me a clue somewhere.
Oh, right.
That's a cat. That's a cat?
That's a cat. It doesn't look like it, but it's a cat.
Oh, I...I didn't even think of that. They spell out something, right?
They must spell out...
Is that an arrow?
Oh, no, you've just spelled 'cat'. Oh, it's in the shape of a cat head?
I'm gonna go upstairs and look down. Maybe there's something I'm missing.
It spells 'cat'.
And then there's... OK, OK, OK.
Oh, that's an arrow...
..to this one.
I think you'll find the cat is in this bag.
Ba-bow!
Are you happy? Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, upstairs I said, "Is it a big task?"
If it was a big task, I was gonna go to the toilet, and I'm done.
So you didn't go to the toilet? No, I did.
But I didn't even need to, so... Right.
Thank you very much. You're welcome, buddy.
Here if you need.
Jimmy and Nina, are you still feeling clever?
No!
Did you remove the arrow for when I went up and looked on the roof?
Dammit!
No, the arrow was definitely still there
while you were walking all over it, playing hot-and-cold for no reason.
Just out of curiosity, how many of you thought it would be a live cat?
How many of you were looking for a bag that was just, like, wiggling?
I thought just in case I should find it fast. Um...
You were worried about its safety? Yeah.
Unfortunately, it was already dead and stuffed. No, I'm kidding.
Danielle, you were so quick when you did the task
that we could include a minute of inane chat
about you going to the toilet or not.
I was pretty good.
So you didn't go? Is that right?
I peed before nearly every task just in case...
You know, 'cause you never know if you need to go.
But we shot, like, 12 tasks a day.
Do you have a UTI?
Nope, never had one 'cause I keep it clean and flowing.
Would you like to know how many bags were opened?
Yes.
Luke opened four bags in total.
Ooh!
Danielle opened the cat on her first bag opening.
So there must be one more left. Uh...
Maybe they've done even better.
Maybe.
This contestant has the same first name as my eldest cousin.
It's Julia Morris!
Here we go. What am I doing? Stop mucking around.
Oh, oh! No, that's a seal.
Uh, I feel like it's over here.
Hang on. Does it say something?
A, T... C-A-T.
Someone has reached out to the shareholders today.
That's a lot of bags, babe.
Oh, here's a little sweetie. It's a monkey, babe.
Here we go! Oh, look at this!
Oh, lamby!
Hey? I mean, takes ages to get rid of them.
I feel like there's a close-up over here I can get on board with.
Sweet bear.
It's another monkey.
Have we got time to stop for a droney?
What's that?
Dronies. Everyone's talking about them.
I wanna see if there's any rhyme or reason to it.
It doesn't feel like there is.
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Where's the pussycat? Where's the pussycat?
He could be here, babe.
Oh!
The drone hasn't gone, has it?
Do you have the cat?
Doesn't have the cat. Pussycat!
Where would the cat be?
That's an elephant. Bear, bear.
Froggy. Koala.
It's a bear that has returned from war.
Bear with no eyes. Grasshopper.
Hi, ducky! Neigh!
They don't call it a snow leopard for nothing.
I think that's a wombat.
Hello, lamby. Polar bear.
A red whale.
Tom, I haven't gone up to this corner much.
Here we go. Hello! Rawr!
Who's this? Who's this? Who's that?
Oh!
And as for you, one last droney?
How many people are cool enough for a droney, babe?
Just you and me.
I could happily watch you, Julia, waving cluelessly at a drone all day.
I kept thinking, "Well, if the drone's flying,
"there's something to see from up there."
Interestingly enough, you were only there for 20 minutes and 4 seconds.
Ohh!
You took less time than Jimmy, but you opened way more bags.
How many? How many did I open?
You opened 71 bags.
I mean...
..no wonder I was tired.
In last place, I think we know who it is - with 1 point, Julia.
2 points to Jimmy. 3 to Luke. 4 to Nina.
And the winner of the task is Danielle with 5 points!
Alright, what's that done for our scoreboard?
Leading this episode is Danielle with 10 points.
OK, onwards is the march. I'd like more tasks.
OK, I suppose I better bring-bring, bring-bring you another one.
Alright.
Just hanging and chilling. Mmm!
This is exciting, this one.
"Call an older family member and make them hang up on you."
"If they suspect you want them to hang up on you,
"you will be disqualified."
"Fastest wins."
"Your time starts when they answer the call."
Oh, my gosh.
Ooh, this is...
It's hard!
Oh, excuse me.
Oh, my girlfriend's calling
and she says she'd like to see Nina and Jimmy.
OK. Oh, God, I really hope this works.
Hello.
Hey... Hello?
He... Jimmy.
Hello! How are you? Ja...
That's a pleasant surprise.
Hello?
Oh, you keep cutting out. Where are you?
Just... I'm...
..plane...with...
Oh, a plane, are you?
..35,000 feet up...
Oh, so that's why you're cutting out.
What's that?!
Are you in the toilet?
I can't even hear you now.
Hello?
I feel like how often you ring that relative
would affect how quickly they would hang up.
Is that someone you talk to often, Jimmy?
Um, yeah...
No!
She's here. Is that the person you called?
That's my aunty. She's here. Hi!
Really? Yeah!
Oh!
What were you thinking?
I feel like we're reliving the phone call.
What about you, Nina? How often do you talk to that relative?
I called my friend Bec who's my chosen family
and I call her all the time and she was like,
"I was really worried that you were in danger."
But then she hung up after, like, a minute
so I was like, "Couldn't have been that worried."
And she's here tonight!
No, um, she didn't want to come.
So Jimmy achieved a hang-up in 2 minutes and 25 seconds.
Nina achieved it in 1 minute and 8 seconds.
Here's a great opportunity for you at home to call your loved ones.
Make sure they hang up within three minutes
'cause we'll be back on your TVs then.
See you soon!
Welcome back to Taskmaster
as we grow ever closer to finding out
who will win an imprint of Nina Oyama's bottom.
But first we need to see
more comedians disappointing their families.
That's right - our contestants are trying to get an older family member
to hang up on them as quickly as possible.
This next contestant's phone number
has two zeros, a three, four eights, a five, a seven and two nines,
but not in that order.
Here's Danielle Walker.
Can't type in 'Nanna'.
It's gotta be her actual name.
Hello.
He...hello.
How are you?
Hey?
Wa...
Are you there, Dan? Wa.
Dan? Eh.
Ow... Bye-bye.
Where are you, Dan?
Hello?
I can't do it. Hey, Nanna. I can't...I can't do this.
I think Nanna's worried. Hey, Nanna. I'm so sorry. I'm filming something.
Sorry, I've gotta be disqualified from that
because I was stressed out Nanna was worried
'cause my nanna would definitely think I was on drugs if I...
OK, sorry, Nanna. I'll talk to you later. I love you!
'Bye, Nanna!
I'm so sorry. That's OK.
Did that... She seemed like she was freaking out, right?
I knew I'd get, like, 35 calls from the family.
You were making...concerning noises.
I know. Why did I do that?
That was the worst tactic.
Oh, boy.
To be fair, you sounded like you were having a medical emergency.
I know!
I was gonna not say anything
and then as soon as Nanna answered,
I was like, "I've... I can't!
"I can't not say anything!"
And then I went off and I was terrified
I was gonna give her a heart attack
and then she'd call my mum
and my mum would have a heart attack and...
Oh, I was so scared.
Well, it's admirable how much you care about your family,
but unfortunately it counts for nothing on this show.
I think it's fair to say you're disqualified.
We're not gonna give her an extra point for being cute?
Bup, bup, bup, bup!
I've heard what the crowd thinks and the answer's no.
Aww.
Alright, who's up?
This next contestant loves phones so much,
she has two but won't tell me what the second one's for.
It's Julia Morris.
Well...
OK, here we go.
Oh, that's... Hello? Hello?
Thank you.
It's not a great task from me output-wise.
Mmm.
But it did the trick.
I must say, a theme's emerging, Julia.
You seem to do the best when you put in the least amount of effort.
Oh, welcome to my career, Tom!
I have watched it and I have noticed that.
I get the feeling that you bum-dial a lot of people
'cause they hung up so quick.
I feel like that's happened to this person so many times.
To be perfectly honest with you, I am turning 55 any second, right?
So most of my older relatives are dead.
OK.
And I thought, "Who can I call that's gonna hang up immediately?"
So I called my agent.
Her agent hung up after 17 seconds.
Stayed on for a while!
It's last call, everyone, and it's Luke McGregor.
OK, I'm gonna call Mum 'cause she's retired
so she'll probably pick up
and then I'll just try and wrap it up.
Mm-hm.
Hi, dear. How you going? Good.
What are you up to today?
Oh, just...just laying low.
Not much happening here at the moment.
Just looking up recipes on the computer.
Oh, right. Yeah, no.
I mean, that sounds like something you gotta focus in on.
Once you do that, you're like,
"I don't want anything to distract me while I'm doing that."
Oh, no, distract away.
Great.
Are you just at home at the moment, are you, dear?
Uh, yeah, yeah, just...just... just laying...laying...laying low.
How did your date with the girl in Sydney go, by the way?
Um... Yeah, good, thanks.
But, um, I'll fill you in in person.
Well, what's the weather like up there at the minute? Raining?
It's...it's pretty overcast.
Yeah, same as down here.
Just got dark all of a sudden down here.
So you'd rather just go out for dinner for your birthday?
You don't want us to get you something?
No, just dinner with you guys, that's present enough.
Don't want to burn all the conversation now either
because we, uh, gotta save it for that dinner, so...
Not that I want to get off the phone or anything, but...
Celia's baby's cute.
Celia's baby is cute, yeah.
They've gone down so much, haven't they, shares.
Shares have gone down, yeah.
And 'Avatar's coming out again.
Really looking forward to seeing that one.
Really? Is it...
I mean, the first one, I didn't feel like it needed a sequel, but...
Anyway, don't want to get lost in the weeds on that one.
You don't really see many 3D movies anymore.
They don't really bring them out.
Sorry, Mum. I've just...I've just gotta double-check something.
I'm just gonna mute you for one second.
Can I tell them... Can I say...
Can I... It's up to the Taskmaster.
I can't...
And you know those photos... We'll be here fore...
I'm back. Did we break up, do we?
No, no, sorry. I was just checking how much battery I have left.
Um... Uh...
And I'm doing pretty good.
Oh, good. Yeah.
So I had my Facebook hacked the other week.
Yeah, right. Did they post anything weird or...
No, they were just sending out friend requests,
but it took me a while 'cause I couldn't remember
what the password was.
Well, don't say it out loud. You never know who's listening.
It would have to be now, but...
This will never stop.
I love going to the games when I'm in Melbourne, though.
Oh, yeah.
It is, yeah, being amongst the crowd...
Yeah, it's just good being amongst all the crowd, isn't it?
Oh, absolutely.
Anyway, I better let you go.
Oh, yeah. OK, yeah.
Yeah, no, if you have to go, you have to go.
Um, thank you for talking to me. I really appreciate it.
Thank you for ringing.
Um, love you guys. Aww.
Love you too, baby.
'Bye.
Have a good weekend. You too.
See you, dear. Thanks again for calling.
No worries, Mum. Good talking to you.
You too. 'Bye, sweetie.
'Bye.
Oh, no! Wow.
It's a, uh...it's a close race.
The phone call went for exactly 20 minutes.
I counted - you covered a total of 34 topics...
..including the share market, the weather,
Wendy Harmer, what Luke wants for his birthday
and last years Optus privacy breach.
Alright, we've got our times.
How do they all score up? Oh!
So Danielle has been disqualified. Luke receives 2 points.
Jimmy with 3. 4 for Nina.
So the winner of this task is Julia with 5 points!
Ohh!
Thank you, Bec!
I'm going to give our cast
a minute to repair their relationships with their families.
See you soon with more Taskmaster right after this.
Welcome back to Taskmaster,
the only show to turn ringing your mum
into a competitive sport.
What could possibly be next?
What's next is another task.
Apologies in advance to any trees watching.
I'm coming!
Whoo!
Hi, Julia. Hi, baby boy.
Hi.
G'day, mate.
What's this?
A bunch of paper.
Huh.
"Do the bravest thing with this ream of paper."
"Bravest thing wins."
"You have 20 minutes."
"Your time starts..."
"..now."
Alright, memoirs. Let's go.
No, just kidding.
Just so I've got some thinking time, let's make paper aeroplanes.
See who can go the furthest.
Swimming with sharks, but only protected by paper.
Do you have a shark? No. No.
One, two, three... Oh!
Eat shit.
Alright, now the task.
You could argue that it was brave of Luke
to allow himself to be filmed flying such a piece of shit paper plane.
Would you like to see what he did? Uh, yes.
Alright, I'll do you one better. Here's Jimmy and Luke.
Is it just doing a brave thing holding a ream of paper?
I mean, that could be interpreted that way, couldn't it, really?
"Do the bravest thing with this ream of paper."
What does bravery mean to you?
Well, facing your fears.
One of my fears is actually being, like,
poked in the eye with the spoke of an umbrella.
Has that happened to you?
It was just a recurring dream that happened.
In the dream, it was like...
Mmm. Mm.
You could be the gauntlet of umbrella spokes
and I could face my fears with this ream of paper.
I guess if I wrapped my head in paper
and then just went for a long walk, that would scare me.
But is that brave to do that or is that dumb?
They're not mutually exclusive. Yeah, yeah.
You could go crazy and then we'll have one last one where...
You know, like, 'Mission: Impossible'
where the knife goes, like, near his eye?
Like that? Yeah.
Sorry, I'm thinking it might be fun to have obstacles on the way.
OK.
Final boss? Final boss.
OK, let's wrap my head in paper. OK.
So it's a busy city, it's just started raining
and everyone's getting their umbrellas out.
Just draw a brave face on there. A brave face?
But be quick about it 'cause we've only got four minutes.
This is...this is...
Is that marker safe to breathe in? What does it say?
It says, "Sharpie permanent marker.
"Fine point. Safe to breathe."
Bullshit. OK, so, Tom, you've gotta lead me to the track.
OK, cool. Then I'll walk back in the caravan.
Oh, this is a big one. Does he know where he's going?
Don't tell me if I'm gonna hit something.
OK. How much time have we got?
1 minute and 19 seconds.
1 minute and 19 seconds? Oh, this sucks.
Just... OK.
Oh, this sucks. I'm never gonna make it.
No. No, no, no. No! The wind's got it!
Oh, where's...
Oh, my gosh. Thanks, Luke.
Am I close?
Kind of.
Are you ready? Yeah.
I'm a bit nervous, but it's OK.
You feel like you're too close!
Thank you, Tom.
Luke, I feel like, for you, the bar was pretty low.
Like, you seem pretty easily frightened.
At one stage, you were scared of a texta.
Well, the fumes were quite strong
and I was worried that would be poisonous.
So that was quite brave, thank you.
Now, I'd say that, for most people,
wrapping paper around your head and walking around a yard
isn't that frightening,
so it was more of an internal struggle.
Yeah, um, once I'd sort of breathed in the fumes,
I actually felt quite relaxed.
So, Jimmy, you just kind of did something brave
while holding the paper.
Yeah, well, all the information was in the task and that's...
You just said, "With a ream of paper."
To be fair, the paper did really have nothing to do with the task,
but you are claiming it didn't have to be?
If I knew that, it would've been way easier
to walk without my head covered in paper.
Actually, that's true.
You could've just held a ream of paper,
sat down in a chair and been anxious.
Indeed.
Whose paper bravery is up next?
They're not A4, but they're both a force to be reckoned with.
It's Nina and Julia.
20 minutes? Have I got a printer?
I think we can get you a printer. I'd like a printer.
Bravery to me is, like, vulnerability, which is...
..kind of cringe now that I think about it.
In terms of feeling really brave,
talking about politics, I suppose.
That's bravery? I think it is.
I don't, so that feels super nervous to me.
So I'm leaning into vulnerability. Alright.
"I vote...
"..uh...
"..left-wing."
Wow. I've never said that out loud.
Oh, my God. What am I doing with my life?
I need some rocks.
I'm gonna do what I stand for.
OK, well, this feels pretty brave to me. I could throw up on the table.
"I think we should be a republic..."
Ooh. "..in Australia."
You know I'm never gonna be invited anywhere again.
Wait. Can you just, like, dump them here?
And then can you get more rocks?
Oh, right, yeah. Yeah.
I decided to go with, like, a very honest, embarrassing message
and now I'm regretting it.
I should've just written something funny.
No, I don't care, I don't care.
Killing misogynists? OK.
Is that... That's probably too far, isn't it?
"I think the former government caused
"a lot of damage that needs cleaning up."
I really want to use the word .
Oh, my God. Imagine if I just put my phone number.
Like, I'm self-aware about how cringe this is,
but I just genuinely didn't have any ideas.
"Workers' rights."
If the Taskmaster disagrees, he's a rich white man.
Mmm. Oh!
Here's some things that I stand for.
Anyway, if this is my last job,
I just wanted to say I've really enjoyed my career.
This is my bravest thing!
Aww!
Nina, was that a droney?
That was a droney!
Now, it was nice to see you being vulnerable.
I think the audience always likes that.
Yeah, that's why I did it.
It's not 'cause I ran out of ideas or anything.
Would you care to elaborate on the heartbreak?
Um, I just went through a break-up
and I just wanted to say something that was, like,
vulnerable and relatable
and, like, "I cry when I masturbate" was too long.
There we go! She's back!
We were worried that you were gonna be sincere there for a second.
But you fixed it, didn't you?
I really appreciate it because we're a comedy show.
Julia, people at home will be so inspired
by just how brave you were as a woman who works in the arts
being vaguely left-wing.
I know!
Do you know what?
There's an interesting thing that happens, I think,
with people who have been on television for a long time.
Yes.
You move from you care about the workers 'cause you are
to, "I've got an investment property and I need to protect that,
"so that's gonna change my politics."
I feel like you're mistaking this show for 'The Project'.
OK, more ream-based bravery in but a moment.
We'll be back soon with more Taskmaster. Get excited!
Look, I know you're watching it now, but how about watching more later?
Catch every moment of triumph and utter humiliation
at Taskmaster Australia
with full episodes at 10play.com.au or the 10 play app.
Welcome back to Taskmaster
where five contestants are trying their hardest
to win Julia Morris's prostate.
God, I hope you didn't just join us in that ad break.
Tom Cashman, get us up to speed.
OK, so, like, a prostate, it's kind of, like, up and then...
Our contestants are trying to be brave with a ream of paper.
Just one remaining. That's right.
Plucky, courageous, fearless - these are all synonyms for 'brave',
but whether they apply to our next contestant
remains to be seen.
It's Danielle Walker.
I could write a list of my fears.
What are you scared of?
The Irukandji jellyfish. Right.
Or I don't like the way centipedes move.
Um, I guess also it's pretty brave for me
to go face to face with those geese as well.
I might attack the geese.
I'm gonna take these so I can quickly make a sword.
How long do I have left? 14 minutes 39 seconds.
My mum's friend Deb, her geese kept on killing all her chickens.
Like, they were very aggressive
and so she offered to give them to my grandad.
Do you fear your grandad's geese?
Yes, 'cause my nanna said they took a chunk out of the back of her leg.
They attacked her, but she doesn't blame the geese.
What bit of her leg?
Just the...just the back.
The calf? Yeah, the calf, I guess.
OK, you ready?
Yeah. Great. Let's go.
Honk, honk!
What are you yelling? Honk, honk!
Oh, I see. Honk, honk!
Come over here so I can fight you!
Honk, honk!
Do you have any strategies for when you attack?
Um, I'm just gonna honk at them. Right.
Honk!
Ooh, this is getting real now. It's a bit spooky.
Yep. Honk, honk!
Honk!
Honk! Ohh!
Honk!
I beat 'em. You beat them?
Yeah, they flew away.
OK. They bowed down to me.
Thanks, Danielle.
Honk.
I feel like I could judge your attempt,
but I'd prefer to just hear more about
a goose taking a chunk out of your grandma's leg.
How big was the chunk? Oh, like...that big.
Like, I guess a 50-cent piece, but circumference...
Like, "Ugh!" Geese size, bite size.
Um...
Well, you might think I'm gonna judge you harshly,
but I've been attacked by geese as well.
It's frightening. They really come at you.
They're gonna tear you limb from limb.
Alright, well, I think Julia Morris I'm gonna put on 1
'cause I know that for you it felt really brave...
Yes!
..for you to say that you were slightly left-wing,
that we couldn't quite nail down...
No, it was worth completely losing my career for 1 point.
I... Absolutely. That is absolutely worth it.
Next up, I did think that geese are very frightening, Danielle.
You're on 2 because I think you didn't
get close enough to get genuinely scared.
They flew off before you really faced your fears.
I went down there with the intention
and that was scary!
Oh, I think it was as scary as you looking at them at a zoo.
Yeah, so you're on 2.
And then, Nina, I'm putting you on 3 because you were vulnerable...
But was I brave?
Uh, not really.
And, Jimmy, I'm putting on 4.
Even though you were just facing your fear
holding some paper, rules are rules.
It satisfied the actual original task even though it was disappointing.
And, uh, I just want to take a moment
to say that I think Luke was the bravest of all
and, um, he faced the biggest fears that we all face
and that is what's inside us.
So tell me, Tom, what does that do to our overall scores?
In the lead with 15 points, it's Nina Oyama!
What?!
It's clear what everyone has to do.
Let's head upstairs for a live task!
Tom, I'm deeply intrigued. What's going on here?
This live task doubles as catering for the cast.
Could you all please put on your mitts?
Oh! OK.
They have, like, chopsticks in them. That's correct.
Danielle, could you please read the task?
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Need a hand?
I'd love a... How about I break the thing?
Get... Come on.
There we go! Thank you.
"Wearing your chopstick gloves,
"de-pineapple the pizzas
"and put the pineapple in your bowls.
"If you want a new pizza, you may request one from Tom C
"by asking him accurately and politely in Italian.
"The contestant with the most pineapple JUICE extracted wins."
S...sorry.
After the task is complete, we will be juicing your pineapple.
Great.
"You have 120 seconds.
"Your time starts when Tom C blows his whistle."
Tom, so, like, full Italian,
or, like, Chris Pratt as Mario?
The accent is not a must,
but the Italian must be accurate.
OK, yikes.
Oh, she does!
Get off!
What are you doing?! What?
Uh, excuse me. Pizza, por favor? Prego?
"Por favor"? What are you doing?!
Uh...uh... Scusi?
Um, pizza, grazie?
-Hey, pizza Italia! -Cashman, ciao!
Pizza, por favor? Uno?
It's a-me, wanting a pizza.
Oh, si! Quickly!
Get open!
Prego, prego!
Grazie.
This is the longest two minutes of my life!
Uh, pizza, andiamo, Tom Cashman!
Grazie, grazie. Oh, sorry.
Alright, Tom Cashman is taking your pineapple juices
to the lab for some testing and measuring.
We'll be back with the results soon.
Welcome back! Enough of the clapping.
We've got points to award.
Five comedians sit before me
holding five disgusting cups of pineapple juice.
Tom 2, talk us through the results.
So Luke had 9mL.
Did you spill mine by accident?
Nina had 30mL.
She had so much bacon in her bowl that it clogged the juicer.
Next we have Danielle who had 32. Julia had 64.
And then Jimmy had 70mL!
Wow, babe!
70mL of liquefied pizza.
I'm thinking I'm just gonna play it on volume
because I would hate to do a taste test.
Has that done any moving and/or shaking
of the scoreboard for the night?
It sure does.
We have a tie! Ohh!
For first place, Jimmy and Nina on 17 points each!
That means the first tiebreaker in Taskmaster Australia history.
So the tiebreaker task
is to clap as many times as possible in 60 seconds.
Let's see how Jimmy and Nina did.
"Your time starts..."
"..now."
They're slowing down! I can't go quicker!
Oh, my God!
Count me down! Six. Five.
Four. Three. Ow!
Two. One.
Oh!
Ow! Alright.
OK, break the tie, Tom.
So Jimmy had 352 claps.
There could've been more, but some of them,
his hands didn't even touch.
But Nina is the winner with 372 claps!
Nina, warm up those fingers
because you're about to touch five very satisfying things.
Get on stage. They're all yours!
Yes!
There you have it. Another episode complete.
Tonight we learned the best way to find a cat
is to look for the sign with a big arrow next to it.
We learned that umbrella spokes can kill.
And we also learned every single detail
about the everyday life and opinions of Luke McGregor's parents.
Most importantly, our episode two winner in Nina.
Well done to them.
Give them a smattering of applause.
But don't use all your energy.
We'll need that for next week when Taskmaster Australia returns!
Goodnight!
Are we ready to take flight?
Three, two, one.
Arggh!
Taskmaster.
I admit there are flaws.
Blergh, blergh! Hyah!
This was really hard to score because they're all equally a bit shithouse.
Captions by Red Bee Media