Shh.
Bye-bye. Oh!
Aaah!
Oh!
This is the best day of my life.
Pffft! Excellent.
Aaah!
Shh!
Yes, hello. Welcome to Taskmaster Australia.
For months, I have been setting tasks for my little underlings,
watching them squirm, stumble and very occasionally triumph.
Tonight, we do it once more
and in only two weeks, we will be awarding the best of them
this beautiful Tom Gleeson-shaped head.
Perfect for taking home and putting in your spare bathroom
and occasionally practising kissing on.
They're all in it to win it.
It's our season-one cast. Danielle Walker.
Jimmy Rees.
Julia Morris.
Luke McGregor.
And Nina Oyama.
With me, as always, is my right-hand man,
the loyal deputy behind all my sneaky back-room deals.
It's Tom Cashman.
Alright.
Enjoy the spotlight for a moment and introduce the prize task.
Our contestants have been asked to bring in
what they consider to be the most cursed thing.
The winner will take home 5 points,
second-best, 4 points - and so on
and the winner of tonight's episode
will take home all five cursed items.
Uh, let's start with Danielle. What do you have?
It's a tiki mug I made.
That's it there.
And, um, that's a real chicken bone in its mouth.
Eugh!
And its two front teeth are my wisdom teeth.
Is there a curse on it of any type?
Well, I mean, aren't tiki mugs, like, sort of, a bit...
spooky-dooky?
I mean, that one is. Yeah.
Luke, what did you bring in that's cursed?
Well, with social media, sometimes you get tagged in photos
that you don't want on the internet
and this photo of me...
I wish it didn't exist...
...and I hope I don't look like this anymore but, um...
Do we... we have to leave it up or can we take it down now?
I'm not sure if the photo is cursed or...
I mean, maybe it's just your head that's cursed.
Well, I guess, either way, I've brought in something that's cursed,
so that's... so I still win?
It is a savage curse that you have to live with there, Luke.
I'm walking round with that all day, so...
Nina, what have you brought in that's cursed?
Uh, I have brought in a rotten vegetable from my fridge.
So, that was a zucchini at some point
and now it's, like, a sea slug...
I don't know how science works.
I don't see where the curse is - you just brought in old food
that you can't be bothered putting in a bin.
I think there's two.
There's 'cursed' and then there's 'curs-ed', which is, like...
Mispronouncing 'cursed'.
Uh, Jimmy, what have you got?
Uh, I've just, um...
I brought my fishing rod.
It doesn't catch fish.
This might be another situation... You might be like Luke's head.
It's not the photo - it's the primary product that we're worried about.
Um, Julia, what did you bring in?
Uh, I brought in my engagement ring.
When I was still engaged, uh, like, 21 years ago,
I knocked the ring on the side of the sink
and the diamond broke.
I had it re-made,
a year-and-a-half ago,
and my marriage broke up.
So when your engagement ring was broken, everything was fine.
Yep. Fine.
As soon as it was repaired, everything fell apart.
Not ideal. OK.
Well, I need to hand out some scores.
Um, I think it's pretty clear that Nina's there on 1.
2 points to Jimmy for the fishing rod,
'cause I'm a little bit worried
maybe he's cursed, not the actual fishing rod.
Man, the more points I get for this one, the worse my head is!
Um, and I'm thinking Danielle's tiki mug again...
Are you kidding me?
You did that just so you can say Luke's head is the worst thing!
Also, I'm gonna give 4 points to Julia for the engagement ring.
'Cause it clearly is cursed.
But I think we can't argue the most cursed item tonight
is Luke's head.
5 points!
Are you ready for a real task, Main Tom?
Ah, yes. Don't you know it? Alright.
This one's easier than a spelling bee
and harder to spell than the word 'bee'.
A beautiful day.
Tom!
May I step up? Please.
Thank you, sir. Ooh!
Oh!
Hi, Danielle. Hello.
So, Danielle, crazy question. What's your favourite colour?
Ooh, that'd be red. Purple.
Green. Maybe green.
What's the fanciest word you know?
'Lugubrious'. 'Encyclopedia'.
I do love the word 'palaver'.
'Acquiesce'.
Thanks. Do I open the task?
I'm sorry I didn't ask you any questions.
"Correctly spell your fanciest word..."
"..using items that are your favourite colour.
"Fastest wins."
Am I allowed to step out of the caravan?
Oh! "Your time starts now."
Tom, I don't know why I keep refusing to say that.
Having a more complicated favourite word is not an advantage.
No. Quite the opposite.
They have to spell the fanciest word they know
using their favourite colour.
Shall we watch some words get spelt? Why not?
They may smell fancy but can they spell fancy?
Here's Jimmy, Nina and Luke.
'Acquiesce'! I don't know how to spell it! Can you tell me?
'Palaver'. Does it have an R on the end? 'Palave-R'?
God, why did I pick purple? It's such a stupid colour!
I need to get some red things.
Let's go! Keep up!
This could be a good 'Y'. That's a good 'L'!
I mean, I could just write it out with a red pen
but I feel like that's cheating.
"Aquer..." "Ac... acquee..." Oh, my god.
Isn't that the thing to know what left is?
I thought it was, like, which way does the L go?
No, it's to know which way left is
and to know which way left is, you have to know what an L looks like.
"Palarv... palarva."
"Pa-lava"? "Pa-la..."
OK. I'm gonna give you a couple of options.
I'll do one with a 'C' as well. Oh, my god.
These are, like, so cute, these little buttons.
What's the cutest one? Maybe this one.
Right. That is cute. Look at that little...
Wow. Look at that.
I can't even spell the word.
Maybe I'm actually making a palaver of the word 'palaver'.
Mmm.
Look at this little pink shell. That's cute.
How much... This is a time task!
So... the top one's definitely not it.
I'm thinking maybe this middle one here...
Time for the E. OK.
What does an E look like?
L-O... Um...
There you go.
You're finished? I think so.
Maybe that one is the... Are you happy?
No.
That's so loud, Tom.
I took quite a long time but the results are worth it.
Right. How confident are you in that spelling?
In that spelling? Mm-hm.
Out of 10? Like, a minus-2.
What I will do straightaway is just go and, like, google the word
and, um... and realise that I'm wrong.
What will you do if you're wrong?
You'll probably just hear me scream. OK.
Hey, Siri, how do you spell 'palaver'?
P-A-L...
...A-V-E...
TO-OOO-OMS!
So, Luke, you couldn't find anything green
while standing on a square kilometre of grass.
I thought I was a genius by remembering
that there was a green crayon upstairs.
Where the genius stopped is I couldn't spell 'acquiesce'.
Well, you gave three options, didn't you?
Yeah.
I have typed in all three of your spellings of the word 'acquiesce'.
None of them even know that it's close enough to 'acquiesce'
to even suggest the word 'acquiesce'.
So, Jimmy, you had the easiest word to spell.
- Mmm. - Why did you not know how to spell it?
I actually feel that I got a little mixed up with 'pavlova'.
Nina, you spelled 'encyclopedia' correctly.
Oh, yeah!
I don't think we're used to things going well for you. Um...
So we just need to take a moment, just to...
I don't know - re-adjust.
Nina spent 4.5 minutes showing me how cute different buttons were.
Luke took 4 minutes and 34 seconds
to write three incorrect words down with a crayon.
Jimmy took 9 minutes and 14 seconds to incorrectly spell 'palaver'.
Nina took 30 minutes and 29 seconds but she got the word correct!
Yep, she did.
Wow. Have we got time for any more? Do we ever.
This contestant has me spellbound.
That is, I was bound by the Taskmaster to make her spell.
It's Danielle Walker.
Oh, actually, this is so easy.
'Lugubrious'. 'Lugu...'
Look, I think it's L. I don't know.
I learnt this from a child, this word, as well.
What child?
I used to nanny. The little girl - she called me 'lugubrious' one day.
Oh! I didn't know what it meant.
I think it means, like, sad or disdainful.
So the person you were responsible for nannying termed you sad and...
I was a live-in nanny! I lived there for multiple...
You're allowed to be sad sometimes!
'Lugubri...' I hope this is correct.
If not... oh, well.
If you're done...? Yeah, I... I guess... I did it.
Thank you. Goodbye.
OK.
When the child described you, when you were nannying, as 'lugubrious',
uh, was it accurate?
Well, yeah - I'd just moved
from Townsville, where it's sunny every day, to London
and I hadn't seen the sun and I got very depressed
and then the kid was like...
.."You're lugubrious, Danielle."
Uh, how long did Danielle take?
Danielle took 2 minutes and 41 seconds.
OK!
We're going to sit in this room in silence for 3 minutes,
while some ads play.
See you back soon!
Welcome back to Taskmaster.
I'm Tom Gleeson
and we're making comedians spell words using inanimate objects
and somehow, they put it on TV.
That is correct.
Our contestants are spelling the fanciest word they know
using items that are their favourite colour.
So far, Danielle has done it fast,
Nina's done it slow
and Luke and Jimmy have not done it.
That means there's one left.
What's her word and colour again?
We still haven't seen. It's Julia Morris.
What's your favourite colour?
Cerise.
What's the fanciest word you know?
Antidisestablishmentarianism.
Come on, Tom! Let's find some cerise stuff!
Tom, would you do me a favour?
How many letters are in the word 'antidisestablishmentarianism'?
28. Oh, god help me!
'A'. How many letters to go, Tom?
27.
Get your shit together, Lady J. Let's do it.
There's your 'N'. I want to do that as a 'T'.
In what way is that a 'T'?
In no way, Tom, if we're gonna get technical.
Here's how long the damn word is.
I can't believe I'm just not allowed
to sticky-tape that to the front of the desk.
'Antidis...'
Degree of difficulty -
surely the Taskmaster will take that into effect.
It's fastest wins. How dare you?
I don't have a lot of regrets in my life.
Who would have thought that this task was gonna be one of them?
Alright. I'm going to second-layer now.
OK.'Cause I'm running out of space.
And interest.
'Antidis...'
'est...a...'
'buh-ul-ih...'
Honestly, if I start crying,
I don't want you to see that as a bad sign.
OK.
That's just what I like to call emotional processing.
I think I've only got about another 5 hours in me, Tom.
I wonder if my stomach could be the bottom part of the 'E'
and I can do that when I go to present the whole word.
Actually, we're hurtling through it, babe.
What did I do?
Can you tell me where I'm up to? 'Cause I just...
I'm not sure where the 'M' comes into it.
I don't know either.
Can I just say...
I've never wanted to kill myself before?
And we're back to 'A' again.
This is a real thrill. This is, like, a modern-art 'A'. Whoo, whoo!
Look, we're so close now, mate.
Are we? I've got another 18 letters to go.
So, 'ism' - is that what I've got?
No. Have I just got 'ism'?
I can't go round the table again. I can't spell it all again.
I can't do it. You'll have to.
"..duh-ih-ss..."
No!
Whatever was left of my sanity has burst.
It's like an aneurism of insanity.
Emotionally, this is where I'm up to.
That's an 'I'? Yes. Do you feel like that's an 'I'?
You... didn't you already have an 'I'?
Where's the other 'I'? Have we done the 'I'?
Mm-hm. Fffffuck!
Does that feel like an 'S'?
No.
Here we go. Are you cerise?
Oh, god!
Stand by, Tom.
So, you've got your 'S', I'm the 'E', here's 'M'.
Fair.
Nailed it.
And I think 3 hours is pretty standard.
I fail to see who could have done it better.
Or quicker.
Julia Morris!
Not only is your chosen word a long word -
it is the sixth-longest word in the English language.
Ooh! Ooh!
Did Julia actually spell the word?
'Cause I couldn't quite make it out.
I mean, we looked at it, we digitally put it all together
and it was correctly spelled.
It's a shame the task's about time.
Oh!
I mean... well, it was 19 hours, wasn't it, Tom?
How long were we there for?
53 minutes and 2 seconds.
OK. So, do we have final scores for that task?
We do. Luke and Jimmy received zero points,
having been disqualified for incorrect spelling.
Julia receives 3 points,
clearly behind the other two times
and Nina gets 4 points but Danielle wins with 5 points!
How about the overall scores for this episode?
The winner at the moment is Danielle, with 8 points.
OK. We go again!
More tasks, please, Lesser Tom.
We agreed I would sing this intro but I'm simply too nervous.
It's me... eee, Luke.
Hi, love bug!
Hello.
Oh! Snacks!
Oh, boy. This is gonna be a musical challenge.
I can feel it in my willies.
"Create and perform a celebratory personal theme tune."
Oh, I see. It's a keyboard.
"The best theme tune that celebrates you wins."
"You have 45 minutes."
"Your time starts...
"..now."
Let's get some instruments, Tom. OK.
Oh, thank you, Tom. Useless!
# Get out of here! ♪
I like how you made even that musical.
Thank you.
OK. It works.
Did you have a genre that you were thinking?
Um, yeah, maybe. Could we go for, like, a... like, a rock ballad?
Trying to think of, like,
the Taskmaster's favourite genre of music.
I think that's the question. Ugh!
As if it won't be, like, some Gregorian chant or something.
He's so grown-up.
You think the Taskmaster is into Gregorian chants?
♪ Yea-eah, owwww
♪ Ow, wow-oh Eh-oh, eh-oh, eh-oh... ♪
Oh, man.
This is, like, the emptiest my brain has ever been in my entire life.
Oh!
What about a hymn?
♪ She's quite slim
♪ And she used to be round, round, round, round, round... ♪
Hang on.
♪ ..mother, father
♪ She's the best kid in town... ♪
What's your favourite theme song of all time?
I like Seinfeld. That's a trick question.
It's this one. Oh.
Julia, for the record, Gregorian chant is not my favourite music.
Awww. What sort is it?
I like Ambrosian chant.
OK.
Whose dulcet tones are we hearing first?
She's the only contestant
whose first name rhymes with her last name -
it's Nina Oyama.
Five, six, seven, eight!
♪ Mmm!
♪ Ah!
♪ Ooh! Yeah!
♪ Congratulations!
♪ Congratulations You did it
♪ You braved all the odds
♪ You braved all the evens
♪ Because you are very brave
♪ Didn't you know It's a feat of strength
♪ That you even survived?
♪ Because you are so very weak
♪ All of the time Yeah
♪ Mmm You don't even
♪ Know how to play most instruments, Nina
♪ I'm singing to myself Actually... ♪
♪ Congratulations You did it
♪ You braved all the odds
♪ You made it through that recorder solo
♪ You didn't think it was gonna end
♪ And it's the end of this song
♪ Yeah. ♪
Well, the crowd seemed to like it. Maybe you should release it.
Yeah, totally, man!
Do you practise often?
Well, I actually used to be in a recorder quartet.
Oh, OK. Alright.
Until they kicked me out.
OK.
Uh, use the break to wax your ears.
You'll need them soon, with all the theme tunes coming up
when Taskmaster returns.
Welcome back to Taskmaster.
Everyone is trying to win a very scary photo of Luke McGregor.
How are they going about it, Tom Cashman?
Our contestants have written celebratory theme tunes
and now you are choosing which ones are good.
Who have you got for me next?
It's MC Gregor, i.e., Luke McGregor.
Maybe speed it up a tiny bit.
I will remind you that the time is ticking.
I don't know how to... OK. That's fine.
Oh, here we go.
Oh, no. No.
OK. That's fine. That's fine. Real song. Here we go.
♪ His name is Luke
♪ McGregor
♪ He's never puked
♪ I have ♪ In public
♪ Till the time his comedy's not a fluke
♪ He's against nuke
♪ ..lear war
♪ He's a red-head by birth
♪ You should check his pubes
♪ He's won bravest person on earth
♪ And other planets
♪ He's been to Perth
♪ Twice
♪ A gazillion dollars is approximately how much he's worth
♪ That's not enough, I reckon
♪ Luke, you're the best
♪ He is
♪ You're very blessed
♪ I agree
♪ You should go on a quest
♪ You totally should
♪ To find out if you're actually the... uh, the best
♪ I checked the end of the quest and he ac... he is the best
♪ Luke, you're so cool
♪ Damn straight
♪ Everyone drools
♪ When they look at Luke
♪ He supports renewable fuels
♪ That's really nice ♪ Savin' the planet
♪ And he rules
♪ He rules ♪ Rules
♪ La. ♪
Thanks, Luke.
Thank you.
OK. I feel like you celebrated yourself really well there.
Um... thank you.
I was worried at first - like, obviously,
you rhymed your name, 'Luke', with 'fluke', 'puke' and then 'nuke'.
...lear war. Yeah.
I remember your contribution, Tom.
Don't worry.
Some of your achievements, as listed in the song,
were being worth a gazillion dollars.
Yep.
And being the greatest person on earth.
Yep.
And, um, also visiting Perth twice.
I actually visited Perth three times
but I felt like I was getting too arrogant.
Alright. Who's next?
She came fifth on The Masked Singer
and she's guaranteed to come at least fifth in this task.
It's Julia Morris.
Hi!
I'm Julia Morris
and I'm somebody very special.
Let's get to the song.
Here goes the thigh, Tom!
♪ Well, she's a model for ya She's the best in town
♪ She used to be fit But now she's round
♪ She's round But she's also around
♪ 75 years in the biz
♪ She calls all the shots
♪ She used to be a Mrs Now a Ms
♪ That means she's not attached
♪ Now I've got a red thigh
♪ 'Cause I was slappin' real hard
♪ That skin's so loose
♪ But I kinda like it
♪ Now it's like a goose
♪ It's kinda hairy-sided
♪ If you take the hair off
♪ And ah, my leg's quite smooth
♪ But no-one sees them
♪ 'Cause I'm not handing anything over to anyone again
♪ I'm single
♪ I think that's one of my best qualities for now. ♪
I think that's the best it's gonna get, so...
...I'm just gonna... just go.
Now, I might be wrong but I feel like
all the others wrote down the lyrics in full
and then performed the song to the best of their abilities
as it was written on the page.
I feel like you wrote down one or two sentences
and then just ad-libbed from then on.
'Cause Julia experimented with 17 different genres...
...before deciding to write one line - you wrote one line.
Oh, and even that took it out of me.
You read that, then you completely improvised
while making full eye-contact with me.
You were celebrating yourself. You were celebrating being single.
Yes!
Were you trying to invite attention, maybe, from viewers?
No!
You know, I would like to word this in a different way
but I have (BLEEP!) my last
Who's next?
If only his last name was Barnes, Hendrix or Page -
it's Jimmy Rees.
This is a celebratory, um...
interpretive theme song
of a moment in my life,
um, where I first appeared...
...on TV.
# I was chillin' at home In my house
♪ What age, you ask I was a teen
♪ I was mildly pimply, eating chips
♪ Playing Nintendo And I had a dream
♪ I suppose I'd better tell you
♪ About that said dream
♪ Or this song wouldn't really go anywhere
♪ And it'd be rather obscene
♪ Or speaking of 'scene' That's what I waited
♪ In my dream, I seen, on the small screen
♪ I saw myself So buckle up
♪ I'll tell you how I first was seen on said small screen... ♪
# This is what I dreamed of when I first walked into the TV
♪ I dreamed that I'd be
♪ You know, be faffing... People'd be faffing about
♪ All around me
♪ I...I... There'd be hair
♪ And make-up
♪ And the And the costume department
♪ Dressing me in all kind of groovy attire
♪ And there'd be faffing... ♪
I already mentioned faffing, didn't I?
♪ Because I love TV
♪ And it's always been my dream
# I was on Rove Live as a look-alike
♪ I didn't even know Caught by surprise
♪ It was a bit of a gotcha
♪ I was like, "What the...?"
♪ I was on Rove Live as a look-alike
♪ I didn't even know Caught by surprise
♪ It was a bit of a gotcha
♪ And I was like, "Wh-wh-what the...?"
OK. Stop. That's it. That's the end. That's the end. Stop. Stop.
Stop! That's the end! Stop! Stop!
Stop, Tom! That's the end! Stop, Tom!
Stop! Stop, Tom! That's the end!
That's it.
It was a bit hard to watch at times.
I was sort of hoping that this was like The Voice
but this chair was in reverse.
But I must say, I'm very proud of you.
Always dressing up - this time, you just relied on your... talent!
Maybe you should dress up again, Jimmy.
I think I should, yeah.
It was missing something, wasn't it?
OK.
After the episode, make sure you log in
to your favourite music streaming services,
not to listen to the them tunes - they won't be there.
But they have heaps of other songs.
You'll probably find something you like.
See you soon for more Taskmaster!
Welcome back to Taskmaster.
Soon, one contestant will be walking away
with a tiki mug forged in the pits of hell itself
but first, more theme tunes - am I right?
You're always right.
We have one left.
She's a 12-time granny award winner.
Those are the made-up awards her gran gives out at Christmas.
It's Danielle Walker.
♪ My name is Danielle and
♪ I am sick as hell
♪ I'm cooler than a cold-room in June
♪ Where you keep all your beef
♪ Guavas and lychees are my favourite food
♪ And I can make a mean ragu
♪ I am pretty good with dogs
♪ And I can pick up their poo
♪ 'Cause I'm desensitised to their poo
♪ I worked at a dog hotel
♪ For a number of years over my teen years
♪ And I cannot smell poo anymore
♪ My mum said I'd be a great nurse
♪ Because I don't smell poo
♪ But I have a fear of veins
♪ So I cannot do that
♪ I've got the voice of an angel... ♪
♪ And the arse of a demon... ♪
♪ Of the sexy arse of a demon
♪ Not one that would be gross
♪ And covered in warts and pus
♪ Like the best arse you've ever seen
♪ Smooth like a marble
♪ But soft like a bla... baby's...
♪ No, not a baby dolphin... ♪
No, that's silly.
So, I feel like the lyrics were really the star of this performance.
Um, "Voice of an angel, arse of a demon."
I think that really stood out for all of us.
If you work with dogs for long enough,
you become desensitised to the smell of poo?
At the... when I first started working at the dog boarding kennel,
I'd get shit on my leg and wash it off.
By the end, I'd just be like, "Pfft.
"I'll wash it off at the end of the shift."
Yeah.
For you, it was a highlight that you put into song. Why is that?
That was my favourite job I've ever had
and if you got paid more than $10 an hour, cash-in-hand,
I'd probably still be there.
OK.
We're going to need some scores here.
So, on 1 point is Jimmy.
The highlight of your life being a look-alike on Rove Live?
I can't quite abide by that.
I love the song but I'm giving 2 points to Danielle.
Awww! Boo!
Boo-oo-oo-oo!
That's really gonna change my mind.
Nina Oyama, I'm giving 3,
because the song was very catchy.
Oh, thank you.
Uh, we had it stuck in our head, unfortunately, for a very long time.
I'm giving 4 points to Luke McGregor, because of his political nous.
But I think we have to give 5 points
to the improvising genius of Julia Morris!
Alright. I think it's time for another task.
Would I be right, Tom? It's like you're reading my mind.
Or a cue card.
Life imitates art
but I sincerely hope life does not imitate what you're about to see.
Hi, Tom! Hi, Julia.
Hello, Tom.
Well, this is a bit of a set-up, isn't it?
What have we got here?
What are these?
Paints, I assume.
OK.
"On the canvas below..."
"..paint an accurate map of Australia.
"The canvas cannot leave the ground.
"All painting must be done from the balcony.
"Most accurate map of Australia wins.
"You have 13 minutes."
"Your time starts... now."
How big's the canv...
Rightio. Here we go.
Pretty simple task here.
Our contestants just need to paint a map of Australia
using the most Australian tool of all -
gravity.
Go on, then.
Can they paint down under from up above?
It's Luke, Jimmy and Julia.
OK. Let's see if we can get a bit on there.
No. OK. There's some...
Yep. Also completely missed.
Tom, can you move the canvas closer to the balcony, please?
OK. Oh, not there!
Oh, come on! Girt the living daylights out of it.
I'll start a constant stream and then you move it to paint Australia.
Yep. That's looking good.
Rip! There we go. Whoop!
I want to get one of my favourite places in the whole wide world
on this map.
Which is where? New Zealand.
So you're gonna start by painting New Zealand?
Yes. Aww, look!
It looks beautiful!
Just gonna have a...
Just gonna fashion a...
I need a bit more finesse, Tom. OK.
OK. Here comes Tassie.
Aww, I love you, Tassie.
So, this is for the finesse? Yep. This is for the finesse.
Yea-aah.
There's a line.
Here comes the middle of Australia.
I still need to get the east coast right.
There's no way to tell that I drew it. We have to sign my name.
Did you do it?
Oh, well, I guess it was a team effort.
I'll sign your name as well.
L... Uh...
Oh, don't ruin New Zealand, Julia!
Go!
Oh! I think throwing paint at the thing is more accurate.
OK. Sorry. That was a miss.
What's the idea there? I was trying to smooth it out.
It's... I was just... Yeah. Thank you very much. Take those off.
What if I did this splodge-painting of Australia...
Lands flat.
That's Australia judging New Zealand,
that bit of orange straight across there.
So that bit on the right - that's just judgement?
Yeah.
I guess we'll just go, like, a week on, week off,
whose house it stays at?
Maybe, like, an annual thing.
Oh, so you'd have it for a whole year?
Just the shipping costs of a weekly arrangement...
Who goes first? You can have it.
OK.
You know what? I'm gonna do a tiny little Australia here.
Just to show myself that I can.
And I think what's happening there is I definitely cannot.
Yeah, Julia, as everyone knows,
when you want to do a painting of Australia,
the first thing you paint is New Zealand.
When did you give up during that task?
Oh, we all know -
within the first minute is when I gave up.
Jimmy, what were your hopes when you decided to use an oar tied to a rope?
I just thought a line... like a finger-painting but with an oar.
With an oar. From the balcony.
From the balcony. Using a rope.
Attached to a piece of rope, yes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
After seeing Luke just say,
Hey, Tom, could you just move it a little bit closer?"
I kind of felt a little bit stupid.
Alright.
Now, Luke, you actually had a really good map of Australia there.
Thank you.
I've been using it to navigate around ever since.
Let's have a look at the paintings. I think we have them here.
Um...
See, I think, with Luke's,
you can actually make out Australia.
I think you could claim, with Julia's, that...
Maybe that's an emotion about Australia trying to...
What about you, Jimmy?
How could you justify that being Australia?
Well, if you take certain sections of it away,
the bits that are left
is a map of Australia.
Oh.
Don't you think that maybe if you stared into that
and just unfocus your eyes for a while,
you'd be able to see, in 3D, your regret.
Maybe?
It's... it's quite possible.
At the end of the day, the most inspiring works of art
are those being cooked up by ad agencies around the country.
Let's take a look at their work
and we'll see you soon with more Taskmaster.
Look, I know you're watching it now but how about watching more later?
Catch every moment of triumph and utter humiliation
of Taskmaster Australia
with full episodes at 10Play.com.au or the 10Play app.
Welcome back to Taskmaster.
It won't be long before someone wins Julia Morris's engagement ring
and ultimately marries Julia Morris.
I'm ready for some more balcony art, Tom.
Who have you got? Australians all, let us rejoice.
These two are young and free -
it's Danielle and Nina.
Let's do orange!
That is a fun colour.
So you started with Northern Queensland?
Obviously. I'm not a psychopath.
So, I feel like if I just do a small drawing of Australia...
You think smallness helps with accuracy?
Yeah, I think so.
I don't know if this looks much like Australia.
You don't think this looks much like Australia?
No. You are absolutely insane.
It's a bit minimalist. Minimalist?
Yeah. What is wrong with you?
I reckon you should add a little bit more detail as well.
You reckon more detail? I mean, yeah.
Well, this is what I'm doing!
I have stuffed up my painting.
In what way?
I think I really mucked up the state lines.
It was looking so good.
That's a crocodile.
And then there's actually a lot of...
Oh, no! That's the shark gone.
Done! Thanks, Nina.
Thanks, Danielle. No worries.
Happy with this? Yeah.
I won't know till I see everybody else's, you know?
But, um...
I think it's colourful, which is nice.
I think you'll have fun seeing the other people's.
Thank you.
I think I'm gonna win, 'cause I'm a genius!
Would you like to look into the camera and say to the others,
"Sucked in - I win"?
Hey, everyone. I just want to say that I've already won this task.
Give up, if you... if you had a go,
because this is clearly the best thing
that's ever happened to this canvas.
OK.
Well, maybe we should compare with the others.
So, first up, let's have a look at Nina and Danielle's canvases.
As part of the task, it did say, "Paint on the canvas below."
And the drop-sheet was below us. Well, that was below.
Yeah. The material was canvas.
"All painting must be done from the balcony."
And we were on the balcony!
"The canvas."
The canvas!
Saying it together doesn't make you sound smarter.
It just...
It just makes you sound dumb in unison.
Alright. Well, that's pretty easy to score, then.
I think I have to put Danielle and Nina at the bottom, both on 1.
- Alright. - Tied, 'cause they were equally bad.
And then, with the other paintings,
Jimmy and Julia both did paintings that were quite abstract
but I feel like there was a bit more energy in Julia's,
so I'm gonna give Jimmy's 3, Julia 4
and the best map of Australia was done, clearly, by Luke McGregor.
5 points for Luke!
Thank you.
What's that done to the scoreboard for this episode?
Julia is currently in the lead, with 16 points.
Ooh!
So, for the scores over the course of the whole series,
we've got Danielle and Julia both tied for first place
on 122 points.
Ooh!
I feel a live task coming along. Let's go upstairs!
What's happening, lesser Tom?
Jimmy, could you please choose a suitcase?
OK.
Nina, please make a selection. This one.
Danielle. Luke, you know what to do by now.
And, Julia, sucked in.
Ooh! Oh.
"Open your suitcase and use the contents
"to transform your face into an Australian icon.
"The case must stay up until you are asked to reveal your face.
"You have 100 seconds.
"Best transformation wins. Your time starts on Tom's whistle."
Ready, set...
Oh!
Oh, man... Oh!
Oh, my gosh!
This is a disadvantage. I've never used any of this stuff before!
Julia has a fruit platter, Jimmy has a bunch of make-up,
Luke has stationery,
Nina has pasta
and Danielle has art supplies.
Uh... Oh, my gosh. This is so hard.
Hey, do you do this every day?
That is undoubtedly the easiest suitcase to have.
No, it's not!
It really isn't!
Tom, can we get a 10-second time check?
10 seconds left.
What? Oh, dear.
This is not gonna go well.
I need red! I need a red lip!
Please put down the items.
Danielle, reveal yourself.
Um, what icon are you?
I'm the Big Pineapple.
Nina, please reveal your face.
Hello!
What icon are you? Wait, wait.
I'm the Big Banana.
(MUFFLED VOICE) I'm the Big Banana!
Luke, please reveal your face.
What icon are you? I am the Tasmanian tiger.
Jimmy, please reveal your face.
Hello, possums!
Are you Dame Edna Everage?
Yes.
Have you drawn anything on your face at all?
Yeah, I have. Zoom in.
OK.
We might have to hurry this up.
The sweatier I get under the lights,
the less the Post-It notes will stick.
Julia, please reveal your face.
Hello, possums!
Like a couple of twins.
We'll have some results after the break.
Welcome back to Taskmaster.
Five cursed items are about to haunt the home of one lucky contestant
but first I've got to judge this Australian icon competition.
Look at all these icons.
My god.
The desperation is hard to look at.
OK. Well, I think Jimmy's gotta be at the bottom on 1, surely.
- What? - There's barely anything on your face!
What were you doing back there?
I know there's no point arguing with you
but you didn't even open half of the make-up things.
I spent half the time
trying to get the stupid plastic lids off everything!
OK.
Well, I feel like we should talk to Nina
before we can no longer tell she's the Big Banana.
You only had pasta to play with, Nina,
and then you made a beard out of it
and then you decided you were a banana.
Why didn't you just say Ned Kelly?
Doesn't he wear, like, a big... like, a big square on his head?
Yeah but when he takes it off, he's got a beard.
I must say, Danielle, I was very impressed
you'd actually drawn crosses on your face
to make it look like a pineapple.
Yeah.
Luke, I feel... He's got stripes.
Um... he's a tiger.
And I must admit, if that was the only defence you had in the wild,
you would soon be extinct as well.
I think I'd blend right in.
But look at Julia Morris there.
You know, I feel like, again...
I mean, Jimmy had just said Dame Edna Everage
and then you turn up looking like this.
One could argue that, like, Nina stole Danielle's,
that Julia stole mine.
Oh, yes. We can definitely see that.
I think Jimmy's an obvious 1. Nina's on 2.
Danielle's on 3.
I love the Tasmanian tiger, so I'm gonna give Luke 4.
But I think 5 points has to go to Julia Morris...
...as the fruity Dame Edna Everage.
Does that mean we have an episode winner, Tom?
It does. The winner of this episode is Julia, with 21 points.
Congratulations, Julia!
Life will never be the same again.
Get ready for centuries of bad luck
with five brand-new curses.
They're all yours. Get on stage!
What a pleasure it's been
journeying with you all through our eighth episode.
We learnt that Australia was designed by Jackson Pollock.
We learnt that Danielle Walker can spell
but when it comes to dog shit, she can't smell.
The main thing we learnt is that Julia is our champion for this week!
Good for her.
Want to see someone else win it?
No guarantees but try next week. Goodnight!
Captions by Red Bee Media
What grinds your gears?
What grinds my gears?
What is wrong with you?!
At which point did you lose your tether?
Oh, no! Dag, dammit!
I'm sorry for your loss.