Arggh!
Egh!
Ohh!
YES!
No! Mwah!
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
Hello and welcome to Mastertask.
My name is Glom Theeson and through a science experiment gone wrong,
the game show I host has been body-swapped through the multiverse,
and I find myself here hosting an eerily similar show
in your feeble-minded world.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Now, assuming I have the format correct,
we're about to watch some comedians do some ridiculous things,
all for the chance of winning Tom Gleeson's head.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Who are these comedians?
I can only assume it's people sitting over there.
Anne Edmonds. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Jenny Tian.
Josh Thomas.
Lloyd Langford.
And Wil Anderson.
Sitting next to me is a man of many talents.
He keeps time, he blows whistles. The end.
It's Tom Cashman.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Alright. Lesser Tom, prize task time.
This week, our contestants have been asked to bring in
the thing you would marry if you could.
OK. Anne. AUDIENCE: Ooh.
What would you marry if you could?
Well, I said...
(LAUGHTER)
We can show who I said up here.
ALL: Aw!
(APPLAUSE)
Uh, yeah, but I haven't been asked, so whatever!
(LAUGHTER) OK. Um...
Lloyd, you're next.
Oh!
What have you brought in for the prize task?
I actually might need to talk to one of the producers.
(LAUGHTER)
(APPLAUSE)
I chose, um...
(LAUGHTER)
I chose Anne Edmonds.
ALL: Aw!
(APPLAUSE)
Well, I like the way you both chose this
as a funny hypothetical in a game
when you have been together for a long time
and could have done it at any time in the last however many years.
ANNE: Now... I got married. It's quite easy.
..Channel 10 has to pay for it.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Alright, Wil. What thing do you want to marry?
Um, it's going to be awkward because mine's also Anne.
(LAUGHTER)
This actually is as sincere as that was, truly.
Because there is one thing I love about above all other things so much
that I write a joke about it every year in my comedy festival show.
So on the day of my shows, I can have a piece of it
and then talk about it in the show,
claim that piece of it on my tax.
It is cake. I love cake. I would love to marry a cake.
(APPLAUSE)
That's me on top of my wedding cake getting married to a cake.
(LAUGHTER)
That's the loneliest little statue I've ever seen.
I feel like that's a little window into your home life there, Wil.
My no-home life. (LAUGHS)
(LAUGHTER) Ah, Josh.
What would you love to marry?
I find the thought of getting married quite terrifying
and sort of cloying.
I found this quite stressful, actually.
And I didn't like the idea of really marrying anything.
I voted yes for nothing...
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
Doesn't even appreciate it.
Anyway, so I went with... I went with water.
Just... (LAUGHTER)
I just thought, you're not going to...
You're not going to regret that,
like, because it's... because it's to death do you part.
And that just seems like a lot actually,
because I don't know what's next to me.
But I do know whatever is next to me, I might be thirsty.
(LAUGHTER) Um, OK.
Jenny, what did you bring in?
Yeah, well, I thought of, like, marriage is, like,
something that's going to be there for you all the time in your life,
no matter what.
So I'm thinking about, like, the lowest points in my life
and what was there for me.
And also, I think the best marriages contain a little bit of spice.
So what I've brought in is a shin ramen.
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
So we basically have two people wanting to marry each other
and three people who like to consume things.
(LAUGHTER)
So I'm going to give Josh one point for the water.
I feel like I've seen it before.
Um... (LAUGHTER)
Uh, also, I'm going to give two points to Wil for the cake
because I feel like it wasn't new knowledge for me.
I already knew that you like cake. Jenny's got three for the ramen.
And just because I believe in true love,
I'm going to give five points each to Anne and Lloyd.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Alright. If I had a little task bell, I would ring it, but I don't,
so I'll just ask, "Any task, Lesser Tom?"
For this task, I'd like to add my two cents. And then three more.
Hello. Hi, Josh.
Oh, another potato. Mr Potato Head.
I had an ex-girlfriend that used to call me that.
"Show off one of your senses."
"The sense you show off must be one of the five official senses."
"Most impressive use of a sense wins."
"If you pick the same sense as another contestant...
"You will have two points deducted for each contestant who picks it.
Oh, man. OK.
"You have 20 minutes. Your time starts now."
So what are they?
Sight. Smell. Taste.
There's hearing. I'm not good at hearing.
You're not good at hearing? What? See?
Taste is the obvious one. You think?
Although can make you sick eating a raw potato.
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
Yeah. OK. So we've got taste, touch, sight, hearing, smell.
We're just looking for the most impressive use with one of those.
Who's up first? They're common law partners.
Let's see if they share common sense.
It's Anne and Lloyd.
How about we do hearing?
I'm going to choose seeing.
What have you got? I got banana.
A strawberry. An apple.
Chips. A mandarin. And a blueberry.
And we're doing hearing? Hearing, yeah.
You could hide him. OK.
And I could see him, try and find him.
If I'm blindfolded and you drop each individual item
from a height onto the ground...
Yeah. And I'll tell you which it is.
Ready.
(LAUGHTER) (LAUGHS)
Just showcasing my vision... for the camera.
Ha! Ha-ha!
11 seconds.
Wow.
If you would drop it, like, around there somewhere.
So really, really close to your ears.
Well...
That's an apple.
Blueberry.
Ready.
Ha! There he is.
Oh!
They're chips, that is.
You really needed to wait that long to guess?
(CHUCKLES) I got to be 100% sure.
(COUGHS) Ready.
Oh.
Oh, no. Now it's hard.
That's a banana, 100%.
Oh, you're redoing some of the items, are you?
That's another banana. Stop messing me around.
Get that strawberry on the floor.
I can take my blindfold off. We can all go home.
He's in there! I knew you were up to something.
You found him? Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah!
Well, actually, I don't know what that was.
(LAUGHTER) I'll say that was a strawberry.
I'm torn between the mandarin and the strawberry.
What's your final guess?
I'll change my mind. The mandarin.
Alright, off I pop. Thank you. Thanks, Anne.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
So you thought you'd test your vision by looking for something?
Yeah. Like, I just showcased my seeing.
OK. And just showing off.
Wow. You know, like...
(LAUGHTER)
"Wow. She could see." (LAUGHS)
You could argue that your test less assessed your sight
and more your problem solving skills,
and Lloyd's less assessed your hearing
and more what it would be like to be kidnapped by Con the Fruiterer.
(LAUGHTER)
(APPLAUSE)
OK, so, Lloyd, you were pretty good at identifying things from sound.
I am disappointed that I got the mandarin wrong.
Because not only could I hear the mandarin, but it touched me.
(LAUGHTER)
Did you thought, "Wow.
"This small spherical banana has rolled towards me"?
Because it rolled towards you,
and I'm pretty sure bananas do not roll.
(LAUGHTER)
Look, you know, they sometimes say when you have one sense removed
and the others become stronger...
Not in my case.
(LAUGHTER)
Anne had five attempts at finding Mr Potato Head.
Three of them she found Mr Potato Head in under 20 seconds.
So I'd put that as a 60% success rate.
Lloyd got four out of six correct.
So I suppose if you wanted to look at it this way,
Anne got 60% of hers correct, and Lloyd got 66.66 repeater.
(APPLAUSE)
Alright.
Now, watching the visually overwhelming footage
of Lloyd on the ground has hurt my eyes,
so I need to cleanse my sense of sight
on these relaxing low-stimulus ads.
See you soon.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
We're back on Taskmaster.
Tonight, three comedians are trying to win the ultimate prize pack -
three food items and two unmarried comedians.
(LAUGHTER) Where are we, Lesser Tom?
Our comedians are choosing their strongest sense
and using it to try to impress you.
If two contestants or more choose the same sense,
points will be deducted.
I wonder why that's come to mind ahead of introducing these next two.
It's Jenny and Josh. No!
My taste buds are pretty deec, I'd say.
I'll go with taste.
We'll do a tasting.
You have to come to the kitchen.
That's not where the kitchen is.
So I'm going to do a taste test completely blindfolded
with all these ingredients here.
How many do I have to do to show it off?
That's up to you. OK, we'll try and do 100.
100... (LAUGHS)
Cocoa.
Cumin?
Oh, it's turmeric. Oh. (BUZZ!)
OK, let's go again.
Red powder.
Is that food? Not sure.
Is it unpopped popcorn?
I don't know. What is it?
It's that.
It's a full lentil.
These are edible now. You can't eat those, babe. Honey...
Curry powder. (DING!)
Pepitas. (DING!)
Wholemeal flour. (DING!)
It's a jam.
What flavour jam?
I think probably apricot. No.
(BUZZ!) (LAUGHS)
Pineapple and coconut. OK.
(COUGHS)
Oh, you're... You're looking.
No, I thought someone was sick.
I was covering up the sound of the opening of the...
Black tea... (DING!)
(COUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
Peppermint. (BUZZ!)
Popcorn. Correct.
Last one. 10 seconds.
Lemon and ginger. (BUZZ!)
How do we think we did? We don't know.
We don't even know how many we did.
Not 100. Probably not 100.
Thanks, Josh.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
You both chose taste, which means...?
They get two points deducted from their scores as given at the end.
Yes. But I feel like you actually both very good at tasting.
But I think Jenny was better at making up a tasting test.
No. Oh!
Because...
Jenny's like, "These are the number of things that I'm going to taste
"and I have to identify them."
Whereas you're like, "I'll do 100!" and then you didn't do 100,
and it's a bit messy.
But the point was you're trying to prove how excellent you are. Right?
So she's making a small amount of things
and she's picking out of things she already know what they are.
I'm taking anything from the entire universe
and getting it from nowhere.
So any time I get a win, that's much more impressive.
OK, so, with my test.
So I picked things that were of the same texture.
Because you're able to obviously tell it's popcorn in your mouth
because of the texture of it, right?
Yeah.
So there's one variable that you're allowed to change
within a science experiment.
And everything else has to stay consistent.
Yeah. So you were changing two things.
You were changing the thing that you were tasting,
and you were also changing
the texture of what you were tasting as well.
Those are two different variables.
And therefore it's not a proper experiment.
No, but it's just not... Yours is easier!
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE) No, it wasn't!
Yours was easier! Yours was easier!
Everyone here is a nerd! (LAUGHTER)
So, Josh, you said you were going to do 100.
You didn't get to 100. How many did you try, do you think?
As many as Tom would get to me.
OK, which was how many, do you think?
Well, I don't know.
(LAUGHTER) What a fun game. OK.
Oh, do you want me to guess? Oh, sorry, I would say...
Oh, sorry. Yeah, I know.
Imagine a TV show having (BLEEP) Jeopardy.
(LAUGHTER)
That's thrilling to guess. It's thrilling! Please, let me guess.
I think that I got...
I think we tried 32.
(EXHALES) 31.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
But let's just take a moment to remember that wasn't the task.
(LAUGHS)
What stats do you have for their attempts?
Josh got 24 successful guesses out of 31, putting him at 77.41%.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE) That's good.
That's very good. That's very good.
And, Jenny got seven correct out of nine, which is 77.77%.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
But easier.
My spidey senses tell me there's one more to go.
That is so awesome that you just referenced Spider-Man just then.
(LAUGHTER)
For this intro, I will also reference a movie.
Up next, it's Mr Anderson.
(LAUGHTER)
I'm going to use the sense of touch. OK.
I'm going to touch the hand of God. The finger of God.
OK. That's one of the best fingers to touch.
Right?
How...how amazing. Where are we?
Well, we're in another place.
And I wanted you to be here for this,
because I'm about to use my sense of touch
to literally touch the hand, the finger of God.
Well, in this case, I'm going to say "generic male religious deity".
So here we go. You just stand there and I'm about to do it.
OK.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Alright. Well, if I am going to enter into your fictional sketch world,
since you've turned into Mr Sketch Guy on the show.
It's not a sketch. It's, like, it was more a drama.
Yeah, that's what you said last time. It's not true.
You're trying to get a sketch show up on Channel 10. Everyone knows it.
And all the sketches are shithouse.
Well, you don't give away your best stuff in YOUR show.
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
Wil, do you believe in God? Do I personally...
Remember you work... (LAUGHTER)
Before you answer, remember, you do work at the ABC as well.
And if you say yes, you'll get fired.
(LAUGHTER)
(LAUGHS)
No, no, I believe in all the gods. (LAUGHS)
So you only touched one out of innumerable gods?
(ALL EXCLAIM) Oh!
That's fair. So how many gods are we going to say there are?
It's got to be more than ten. I... Oh, there'd be more than ten.
OK.
Well, let's just say more than ten.
That puts Wil at less than 10%.
Alright, well, that makes it quite easy then. Wil's on one.
Anne's on two. Lloyd's on three.
Josh is on four. Jenny wins on five.
OK. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Yeah, yeah, taste. Yeah.
So what are the final scores for this round?
Well, that means we take two away from Jenny and two away from Josh
because they both chose taste.
Alright, so what are our episodes scores looking like now, Little T?
Tied in last place, we've got Josh and Wil on three points,
but in the lead with eight it's Lloyd.
ANNE: Oh! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
OK.
Lesser Tom, task us up.
It's time to have a gander at people trying to find a gander.
Hello. Hi, Josh.
Hi, Lloyd. Twink.
Hello, Tom. How are you? I'm OK.
Good. I'm glad.
Ducks and numbers.
And different-coloured bows.
Have a good feeling about them.
(SIGHS) Oh, it's so long.
"Win a game of
"duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, goose."
"Interrogate these ducks.
"Then correctly accuse the one that is secretly a goose."
Tom, you've lost me already. Oh.
And there's so much more to go. (LAUGHS)
"There are two gangs of birds.
"One gang wears blue, the other wears red."
Ah, yes.
"One gang always tells the truth. The other always lies."
"You may ask each bird one yes or no question,
"and not the same question twice."
"You have one official accusation.
"The goose successfully accused after the fewest questions wins."
"Your time starts now."
How much time? As long as it takes.
And under there is Duck Pocket Dictionary.
Duck/English. English/Duck.
You've outdone yourself, Tom.
(APPLAUSE)
So it's a...it's a logic puzzle, really.
Using limited yes or no questions,
the comedians have to discover the imposter duck.
Pretty straightforward. We should get straight into it.
Let's do it.
Will they duck and leave or take a successful goose step?
It's Wil and Lloyd.
Quack equals yes.
Quack, quack equals no.
Mm. Interesting.
Uh, duck number seven.
Are you wearing a blue bow tie?
Quack, quack!
Duck number five. Is my name Lloyd Langford?
Quack, quack!
You son of a bitch.
That is...no.
Which means...
The blue team are the lying team.
I'm gonna say duck number six, my question to you is...
Is the goose on your side with a red bow tie?
Quack!
One quack is yes.
And they always tell the truth.
The goose is red.
Duck number four, are you the goose?
Quack, quack!
That's the truth. It's not number four.
Duck number seven,
is the goose on a number that is divisible by four?
Quack, quack!
He said no, so it is.
The goose has to be duck number four or duck number eight.
Duck number eight, is duck number two the goose?
Quack, quack! Number one.
Is number eight the goose?
Quack, quack!
That's a no, which I'm going to take as a lie.
So I'll direct this question to number eight.
Number eight, are you the goose?
Quack!
Number eight, I accuse you...
BOTH: Of being the goose. (BLOWS WHISTLE)
Your accusation is correct.
Yeah!
Thanks, Tom. (APPLAUSE)
So finally some male comedians got to make some accusations.
(LAUGHTER)
Feel pretty novel to me.
So you both did pretty well there, I think.
I felt like I could have gone a bit quicker.
There was a couple of wasted questions
where I could have narrowed it down a little bit more.
How'd you go, Lloyd? I absolutely loved it.
(LAUGHTER)
(LAUGHS)
What did you love about it? It was like a puzzle.
And there were rules to it.
And there was logic and there were no silly little surprises.
(LAUGHTER)
So let's not forget the point of the task.
It's the least number of questions. That's right.
So how many questions did they ask?
Wil asked eight questions in total
before successfully accusing the goose.
Lloyd asked four questions.
ANNE: Whoa! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Well, my goose is cooked.
That's not an expression.
I've cooked up a whole goose backstage, as I do every episode.
You watch the ads, I'll go carve it up, and we'll see you after this.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Welcome back to Taskmaster,
the show that is taking the simple childhood game
duck, duck, goose,
and turning it into a logistical nightmare
involving courtroom accusations and a pocket dictionary.
Tom, care to explain?
Our contestants are trying to find the secret goose amongst the ducks.
We've already learned that the red team always tells the truth.
And that number eight on the red team is secretly the goose.
OK. Who's next?
Like when you threw those five lamps at me in the green room earlier,
it's all about to duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck.
It's Anne and Josh.
Quack, yes. Quack, quack, no.
Going to make you quack.
This feels more like just a dumb prop than being important.
It's a notebook. Eight.
Are you something that starts with G?
Quack!
I'm not going to fall for that.
(LAUGHTER)
So the first thing is to deduce
who's lying, who's telling the truth.
Duck number seven, are you on the blue team?
Quack, quack!
Are you something that starts with G-O?
Quack!
Now I'm really, um, confused.
Number five.
Am I wearing white shoes?
Quack, quack!
I actually have no idea.
You know when you go into a parallel universe?
Mm. That's how I feel.
I'm like, dong...
Number three, is the sky red?
Quack!
So I'm assuming that the one quack corresponds to a yes,
and the two quack corresponds to a no, or the other way round.
But along the way I forgot what I did, even though I wrote it down.
Are you number five? Quack, quack!
That was an absolute waste of time. Was it?
I'm trying to work out who's a liar and who isn't.
How many quacks were there?
I genuinely can't remember.
Might be having some sort of episode.
Number ten, are you not a duck?
Quack, quack!
I think I've misunderstood something.
I think the blues are the liars.
But what does that matter?
Like, what am I doing?
If they're a liar or not. What do I care?
Number nine... are you?
Would you say that a male version of you is a gander?
Quack!
(EXCLAIMS)
Can I make an accusation now?
At any time you can make an official accusation if you'd like.
Number ten is the goose.
Is that your official accusation? Yeah.
(BLOWS WHISTLE) That's incorrect.
(LAUGHTER) Huh.
So two...two of red is a yes and one is a no.
OK.
How many do I have left? One question left.
It's all riding on this.
Hey, eight. Are you much bigger than a duck?
Quack!
My official accusation is that eight is the goose.
(BLOWS WHISTLE) That is a correct accusation.
Did I get it?
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE) Yes!
I worked it out!
Ha!
Thanks, Anne. See you later.
Thank you!
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
What they're cheering exactly, I do not know.
(LAUGHTER) I mean, so, Anne...
ANNE: Yes. Just to be clear...
Yes. You asked the goose first...
Yeah.
.."Do you start with the letter G?" and it said yes.
Yeah.
I feel like with this task
I would need to take that information that is in the task
and go away for a year.
(LAUGHTER)
(WIL LAUGHS)
Once I'd asked someone and they said they lied,
I then didn't know who I'd already asked.
I know I should have written things down.
I know a lot of things now, you know, that I didn't know then.
Because you...you read the dictionary.
I did, yeah. So you knew what they were saying.
One quack was yes and two quacks were no or something.
Everybody else looked... opened the dictionary
where it said "one quack equals yes, two quacks equals no."
Josh looked in a different page,
saw nothing, said, "Oh, it's a notebook."
At no point knew which one was yes and which one wasn't,
and was writing down questions as
true questions and false-answered questions
and somehow got the answer anyway.
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
JOSH: Yeah. So I...
I spent the first half trying to learn duck.
Yeah. (LAUGHTER)
With a dictionary in your hand. Yeah.
Alright. So how many questions did they ask?
Well, Anne asked five questions to get an unsuccessful accusation.
Josh asked 10 questions and successfully accused the goose.
OK. (APPLAUSE)
Alright.
We've got one more high-octane legal stoush to watch.
Will she be out for a duck or will she goose correctly?
It's Jenny Tian.
So obvious questions to get out of the way,
is, I could interrogate them straight up
and ask one of them, "Are you the goose?"
But that would be, like, a one-by-one process of elimination.
You know what?
I'll just start there. as a potential question I could ask.
Potential questions? Not actual questions? No.
The other way to eliminate it is to kind of try and figure out
which teams are the truth tellers and which ones are the liars.
Oh, my God, this is breaking my brain.
Do you see what I'm doing?
(LAUGHS) No.
I'm really regretting giving you a pen.
I will eventually make a guess, by the way.
OK. I'm not gonna sleep here.
OK. Yeah.
Oh!
I don't even know where to start.
I'm gonna take a walk around.
Where are you gonna go? Around.
I just need to think about something that's not ducks for a moment.
Oh!
You know, because the people that are obsessed with Wordle are,
like, really into it,
so they're usually, like, quite good at it, you know?
Totally. Yeah.
Perhaps we ask one of these birds a question.
Yeah. How long have I been doing this?
We've been here for 42 minutes.
Would you also like an update on how many questions you've asked?
Yeah. We're at zero.
Alright, this is my official question.
Wait, what was the sign for yes or no?
Number ten.
Are you on the team with the goose?
Quack!
So it's either lying or it's telling the truth.
So what have we learned?
I'm not getting anywhere closer!
So if I asked, "Is the goose next..."
No, I shouldn't say the goose.
They all lead me to the same thing!
Let's just keep entertaining hypotheticals.
(LAUGHS)
Oh! Um...
Number one, are you on the team without the goose?
Quack, quack! Yes.
To number three. Is number ten the goose?
Quack!
Is number ten a duck?
Quack!
So, then, if number two was protecting number ten
and lying to me,
and I asked, "Is number ten a duck?"
then it would say yes.
I am ready for my accusation.
You're going to make an accusation?
What, you want me to ask more questions? No.
OK. Number ten, I accuse you of being a goose.
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
Your accusation is incorrect.
No! (MOCK SOBS)
So depressed.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
(JOSH LAUGHS)
(LAUGHTER)
I've never seen someone work so hard for such a bad result.
So how many pages did you fill of that notebook?
Because I was trying to figure out, like, the probability.
And at no point did it occur to me that
I could ask the ducks and the goose questions
other than about each other.
So then I was drawing matrixes,
and I think I drew... I think I drew six matrixes.
Jenny was drawing a grid system with ten rows and ten columns...
(MAN GROANS) ..thinking about... Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
..thinking about the combinations of what,
which is how you solve some problems.
It's weird because it's like so much smarter than me.
Yes!
But it's so dumb. Yes!
Can you understand how frustrated I felt when YOU got it...
(LAUGHS)
..with absolutely no logic?
Jenny took a total of one hour, 26 minutes and 49 seconds.
(AUDIENCE GROANS)
In season one, Danielle Walker's attempt at passwords
took one hour and 54 minutes,
but that is the second longest I've spent during a task.
(APPLAUSE)
Alright.
Well, we've got to put the scores together.
So straight up, Anne and Jenny are out with zero.
They get zero.
Josh gets three points because he took ten questions
to get the correct accusation.
Wil gets four points because he asked eight questions,
and Lloyd gets the five points with only four questions asked.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Alright. It's time we take another break.
Why? Well, it's simple economics.
The less time I spend on your screens,
the more my hourly rate goes up.
I host smarter, not harder.
See you in a tick.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Welcome back to Taskmaster,
where our contestants are trying their darndest to win
a cup of ramen and Lloyd Langford.
Mmm.
Dinner and dessert.
(LAUGHTER)
What's next, Lesser Tom?
They've fumbled their senses. They've bumbled through a trial.
And this next task, they'll try to stumble into a chance occurrence.
(KNOCKS AT DOOR)
It's me. Hello, mate. TOM: Hi, Wil.
Hey, sugar. Hi, Josh.
Hey, Tom. Hi, Jenny.
Ah. What's this all about?
Whales.
Wales.
Whale tail. I mean, it's a clue of some kind, I imagine.
Is there another word for it? Like the literal whale tail?
Or are we talking about the bit of undies
that sometimes stick up the back of...
Have you heard that described as like, you know,
if your G-string's out the back of your pants?
I rarely wear a G string.
But I mean, you would have maybe observed this.
And they will often call that a whale tail.
They call that a whale tail? We're of different generations.
And when I see something like that, I look away.
Don't accuse me of looking more closely at it.
You've got a name for it. That's how much you're looking.
OK. Alright. Interesting.
(LAUGHS) "Fluke something."
"Biggest fluke wins. You have 30 minutes."
"Your time starts now."
Fluke, in this context, does not mean whale tail.
Just a bit of a pun.
A fluke is just like you do really well at something accidentally.
That's right.
Do you have any sharp knives? Because there's a target over there.
And, I mean, there's a target over there but that seems obvious.
I feel like a lot of people are throwing things at stuff.
Yeah. Boring.
(APPLAUSE)
Uh, yeah, so you've got to get lucky with something, pretty much.
That's right.
The definition of fluke is an unlikely chance occurrence,
especially a surprising piece of luck.
Well, thinking of the career trajectories of the comedians,
it's all down to right place, right time.
So as professional flukers, this should be easy.
Cashman, who's up? They're lucky in love.
But can they be lucky when push comes to shove?
It's Anne and Lloyd.
LLOYD: So maybe let's get some sharp knives.
(LAUGHS) This feels dangerous.
I go downstairs, I'll give you a certain distance
where you can move along and drop this.
I'm only allowed to turn around once it's been dropped.
Does that make sense? No.
I reckon it does.
Have you thrown a knife before?
Nope.
Are you gonna try again?
Nah, I'm gonna give up now and go home.
OK, I've got, um, small mandarins.
Drop.
Ooh. Drop.
I'll tell you what, this is giving me
a lot more respect for circus folk.
How much respect did you have before?
Barely any.
(CHEERING)
I paid a compliment to the circus folk and they delivered.
(LAUGHTER) Do you feel skilful?
I mean, that was clearly a fluke.
And to prove it was a fluke,
now I'm going to do 17 minutes of missing again.
Where is he? Drop!
Whaa! (LAUGHS) (APPLAUSE)
You got it?
Yes!
That's no way to celebrate.
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
I have a newfound respect for all circus performers, carnival folk,
clowns, roller-coaster operators.
I think you do a wonderful job.
And it's easy to overlook the difficulties you face every day.
I didn't hear an apology in there.
I'm sorry. (LAUGHS)
(APPLAUSE)
OK, Lloyd.
So if you do something over and over again until you get it right,
is that a fluke or is that just practice?
It was definitely a fluke. Tom will attest to that.
Because I must have done it a hundred times and it went in once.
You did it 67 times, so you did 20 attempts, you got it on the 20th,
and then you did 47 more...
(LAUGHTER)
..to prove it was more of a fluke, so you had more attempts.
If what you're saying was true, I would have got better...
..and I actually got worse.
(LAUGHS)
So what would have you done if when you kept throwing it again,
you got it in a second time?
I would have quit the show and joined the circus.
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
(LAUGHS)
Anne, I feel like given your results in all the other tasks to this point,
even you just winning anything would be a fluke.
(LAUGHTER)
Fluke implies to me, like fate or divine intervention.
Oh.
So the fact that Tom and I crossed at a certain point
and he dropped the mandarin and I was there
to me is the... is the pure definition of fluke.
That actually... That wasn't a mandarin. It was a banana.
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
Anne successfully caught the mandarin on her fourth attempt.
Right. Flukish.
Because I also feel like if you were trying to catch it,
you wouldn't have.
Are you the goose?
(LAUGHTER)
(APPLAUSE)
OK. Who's next?
While they never say no to a lucky dip,
these two want to avoid a dip in luck.
It's Josh and Wil.
I'd like a beer. Oh, yeah.
Shall we have a beer while I try and figure this out?
11th of September...
Uh... Oh, no. September 11th. That's the wrong...
That was a fluke to you.
No, no, no, no, I was going to just try and guess your birthday,
and I'm not sure why September 11th came up.
I'm going to throw the zebra.
And the fluke is going to be if that's entertaining. OK.
(LAUGHTER) Was that entertaining?
It was horrific.
Donald.
Your dad's name? No.
Circumcised? Me or my dad?
I mean, again, that's just a 50/50.
You can tell me later, though, because now I am curious.
Do you want to know now? Yeah. Alright.
Oh. OK.
If I throw this and it lands upright
and all the flowers are still in, then I win.
What happens if you don't do that?
Well, then we have to just keep walking around in a malaise,
trying to figure out how to do a fluke.
In a malaise? Is that the right word? Google it.
If you google it, and I've used the word 'malaise' correctly,
that feels like my entry so far.
"A general feeling of discomfort, illness or unease."
Nah, I got it wrong.
We're getting really towards the end.
I mean, we've only got, like, one minute and 28 seconds to go.
24.
(GROANS)
Do you want to ask me the definition of another word
that you think I wouldn't get?
Hoi polloi. Hoi polloi I know the answer to.
But I also don't know what to tell you.
It's just a lot of, like... "That's a lot of hoi polloi,"
a lot of, like, hoity toity nonsense.
It means the common people generally. Hubris.
Hubris is when you're like to believe in yourself too much.
I just did hubris just then
when I told you I knew what hoi polloi meant.
OK. Yeah. Overbearing pride.
Thomas Cashman. Do you have a middle name?
Yep. Yeah. OK.
James. Thomas James Cashman. Correct.
Oh!
Alright. OK.
Martinet. It's a type of curtain.
Someone who demands exact conformity to rules and forms.
That's you. You're a bloody martinet.
Convivial.
Convivial is when you're getting along. You're trying to get along.
Enjoyable atmosphere or jovial company.
That was right. Did you know it?
I think I did know it, if I'm being honest with you. OK.
I feel like, you know, maybe for this last 28 seconds, we should...
Yeah. Ahhh!
Yeah!
Well, I failed, but I did get a beer.
Yep. On to the next one.
Thanks, Josh.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Alright. So, Wil, you had many attempts at a fluke.
Which one are you going to run with?
I honestly think the build-up to that last one...
Like, by the Lloyd logic
of how many times you get it wrong
proves that it's a fluke when you actually get it right,
it was my last attempt and I got it wrong
so many times up until that point,
I celebrated by clapping my hands together so hard
that the next day when I went to set, I had a bruise on my hand!
(LAUGHTER)
OK, so, Josh.
Hey, babe. No flukes for you.
It seemed to me you just wandered around the paddock just saying stuff.
The original fluke I was going with was,
if I throw this and it's entertaining, then that wins.
And I threw the zebra, and the zebra is in the opening titles,
so that's got to be a highlight.
(LAUGHTER)
It's a pretty good argument.
Yeah...but at the same time it's not a fluke
that's something by you was in the opening credits
because you're in the show.
If...if Hannah Gadsby was in the opening credits,
that would be a fluke.
No, no, no.
But that moment of all the moments
of how many weeks were we filming out there?
Like nine and a half...
One. ..months.
(LAUGHTER)
We were out there walking around a field.
The fact that that moment made it in the opening titles
without context,
has to be the absolute best result I could possibly ask for in this.
OK. Alright. Would you look at that?
I just spotted Cashman giving the secret signal
that he needs to apply his emergency fungal cream,
and I spotted it right at the ad break.
That's right. Fluke perfect timing. See you soon.
(APPLAUSE)
Welcome back to Taskmaster,
a show built on comedians fluking their way
through tasks outside their ability.
Cashman. What's going on?
We're watching flukes. Biggest fluke wins.
OK, that means there's one more to go.
Yes. Will she be lucky last or just last? It's Jenny Tian.
Have you ever fluked something before?
Oh, constantly.
What do you think I'm bad at?
What do I think you're bad at? Yeah.
This is a trap.
Um, successfully accusing a goose.
(LAUGHS)
I'm pretty bad at that.
Could we set up the duck duck goose thing again?
Do you want to do that? Yeah.
Oh, my God, you're gonna break me again.
But if you got it right, imagine.
Imagine.
(STIRRING MUSIC, APPLAUSE)
(CHEERING)
Welcome back, Jenny.
I'm ready for my redemption.
You've got to fluke it with one successful accusation.
Alright. Here we go.
Number five, I accuse you of being a goose.
(BLOWS WHISTLE) That's incorrect.
No! (LAUGHTER)
Ooh. Oh!
Thanks, Jenny. Oh...
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
So no fluke for you.
No, but I tried so hard.
Um, so, just to be clear, you got zero from the same task
twice in the one episode.
(LAUGHTER)
Look, I'm not going to lie.
I did try to draw another matrix.
Oh! (LAUGHS)
No!
Come on. We can only take so much pain.
I mean, Jenny, would you like to make a successful accusation now?
Wait, what? (LAUGHS)
Do you remember which one was the goose?
You just accuse the goose.
Oh... Honey...
(LAUGHTER)
So I accused number eight... Oh, my God.
OK, I can't wait...
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
There you go.
(LAUGHS)
OK, so I have to hand out some scores for this.
That's right. Alright.
So it's zero, zero to Josh and Jenny because they were flukeless.
Well, unless you buy Josh's logic about being in the credits.
If I say this is entertaining, that's a fluke.
And then you put it in the opening titles of the show,
that's a...that's a crazy fluke.
I understand what you're saying,
but you're presuming that the opening credits are entertaining,
and they may not be.
And I...and I can prove that they're not,
because when they're on Paramount Plus, um...
(LAUGHTER)
..it's a little logo that says "skip credits",
and a lot of people press it.
And in fact, it comes up when your bit's on.
Skip credits. Bang! Gone.
So, that's zero to Josh.
Three points to Wil, because I feel like there wasn't much time left,
so there are only so many seconds you could have guessed.
Four points to Lloyd.
I respect that you just kept throwing that knife and missing.
That was a very risky endeavour.
If you got it in one more time, that would ruin the whole thing.
But five points goes to Anne, because that was a massive fluke.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
OK, Lesser Tom, have you got the episode scores?
Well, Jenny and Josh are both on six points up the back,
but Lloyd is in the lead with 17 points for the episode.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
OK.
When one task closes, another task opens.
And in this case, that big screen is also going to open
because it's time for the live task.
So go on, everyone. On stage.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
OK. This looks like a children's party with no children.
Uh, what are we looking at, Lesser Tom?
(THUMP!)
(LAUGHTER)
(APPLAUSE)
WIL: Is that part of it? That was not part of it.
You sure?
Wil, if you could please read the task.
OK.
"While holding your jars of hundreds and thousands,
"walk through the door, then put your party hat on,
"then pull on your fun pants,
"then unwrap your present,
"then blow your party blower.
"You must keep one jar of hundreds and thousands in each hand
"at all times.
"You have 120 seconds.
"Most hundreds and thousands remaining in jars wins."
Well, we're going to look bloody ridiculous.
(LAUGHTER)
Ready, set... (BLOWS WHISTLE)
(LAUGHTER)
(CHEERING)
(LAUGHTER)
Oh, wait, it goes this way.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
(LAUGHTER)
Are you allowed to help?
(LAUGHTER)
JOSH: I can't...
(CHEERING) (LAUGHS)
TOM: A sacrifice has been made here by Wil.
I can't get the hat on.
One minute remaining.
One minute? I haven't done nothing.
(LAUGHTER)
How do we do it?
50 seconds.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
(LAUGHTER)
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
30 seconds.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
(LAUGHS)
20 seconds.
(PARTY BLOWER BLOWS)
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
10 seconds.
Five.
Four.
Three.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE) Two.
One.
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Very good. Alright.
We'll measure up those hundreds of thousands after the break.
See you soon.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Welcome back again.
You're about to witness the exciting conclusion to Taskmaster.
We've seen our comedians poop their own parties
by spilling the hundreds and thousands.
Tom, who will be number one? And who are the zeros?
Well, Jenny has been disqualified,
because she did not complete the course.
The rest of you did complete the course.
And what we're measuring here is
how many hundreds and thousands were remaining in your jars.
Wil came fourth with 292,272 hundreds and thousands.
Anne in third place, with 423,820 hundreds and thousands.
I thought...I thought it was about that.
I thought that, yeah. I looked at it.
Lloyd, second place with 524,209 hundreds and thousands.
Josh gets five points with 557,231 hundreds of thousands.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE) Right.
Rather exciting, but let's waste no more time.
What does that do to the final scores?
Well, Jenny is down on six points,
a score...I would have called Josh-esque,
but Josh is on 11, Wil is on 12, Anne on 15.
but with an enormous win,
it's the medium-sized Welshman Lloyd on 21 points!
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Get on stage, Lloyd, and, Anne, you better get up there too,
because you're a prize.
And Lesser Tom, is it not time
to have a look at the ladder for the whole season?
Boo... (LAUGHTER)
Well, there's a lot of numbers up there, can be a lot to compute,
but the way I like to look at it, Jenny has the lowest number,
so she's doing badly,
and Lloyd has the highest number, so he's the leader.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Alright, expert analysis, Tom.
It's inspired me to also offer some insight about what I've learnt.
Lloyd learnt that if it looks like a mandarin and sounds like a banana,
then it's a mandarin.
And we all learned that if it looks like a goose and quacks like a goose,
Anne Edmonds doesn't give a shit.
(LAUGHTER)
Give it up once more for our winner, Lloyd,
and we'll see you next week!
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Let's get into the good stuff, Tom.
Oh! Ooh!
Oh, maybe I'm gonna be a genius at this game.
(LAUGHS) Ah, no!
Ahhh!
(LAUGHS)
I mean... I do feel silly, yeah.