That's a shocking start.
Stop. Argh!
Yep, that's it. Where's Tom?
Ah!
Ah. Ah.
Ah! No!
I hate you!
Let me out of here!
Hello, and welcome to a brand-new series of Taskmaster Australia.
It's a new season, and that means everything is bigger and better.
And by everything, I mean my car park and my pay cheque.
As a result, it must be said, everything else has really suffered.
And despite complaints that the chocolate inside
tastes a lot like polystyrene,
we've got ourselves another trophy of my dome up for grabs.
The five new faces vying for glory this season,
each coming from different levels of fame and circumstance,
all united by one thing, availability,
are Dave Hughes...
...Emma Holland...
...Lisa McCune...
...Takashi Wakatsuki...
...and Tommy Little.
Hello.
And, once again, physically by my side,
yet hierarchically well beneath me, it's lesser Tom Cashman.
Alright, I'd like our first prize task for the season, please.
That's right, our first task is a prize task.
Each contestant has brought in a prize,
and the winner of the episode will take home all five prizes.
Tonight, our contestants have been asked to bring in
what they consider to be the most misunderstood thing.
Dave, what do you have for me?
I have the ashes of my, uh...
Oh, no. ...of my dog, Barkley.
So this is where we're back, Season Four,
let's kick it off with discussing your dead pet.
Thanks for that, Hughesy.
Yeah, but he was misunderstood.
See, even though he bit a lot of people, he was a lovely dog.
So you're just saying your dog was misunderstood, essentially.
So you could have just had a beautiful photo
of your dog, Barkley.
Yeah, 'cause I'm committed to this show,
and Barkley would love that.
So Barkley will go to the winner of tonight's episode.
Yeah, OK.
If I win your dog's ashes, I'm smoking them.
I'm telling you right now.
That would be... Sorry, but I am.
You're really putting it all on the line there.
What have you got, Emma?
I brought in the Commonwealth Electoral Act Number 17 from 1948.
It's the part of the Electoral Act
that discusses proportional representation in Senate elections.
I hate to say this,
but Hughesy's pet's ashes are now seeming less depressing.
If you can look me in the eye and explain Senate Preferencing to me
I'll accept less than five points.
OK, well, I'm not sure I really can describe Senate Preferencing.
Because it's hard to understand. People don't understand it.
So what have you brought in, Lisa?
Maths. Maths?
I'm just not good at maths and I don't really understand it.
126. I ended up bringing maths.
Far out.
That's not right. It's not right?
You proved that Lisa's was good because you misunderstood it.
Waka, what did you bring in?
I bought a giraffe.
Oh.
I think giraffe doesn't have a long neck.
It has long shoulder, like a lower shoulder.
You know what I mean? No, not really.
One thing the giraffe is known for is it has a really long neck.
OK, here is shoulder. Yeah.
Over here. That feels shoulder to me.
Right, right. Here... That's neck.
Right, alright, that's giraffe - here. - Oh.
But here is shoulder. Yeah.
But if giraffe wears shirts, that part...
Yeah, I get that.
Yeah.
Most people would say it's got a long neck,
but you've made a convincing case for it having a very long shoulder.
Yes.
Alright, Tommy.
I have brought in the skull of a red deer.
It's misunderstood because people think when they see it at my house
that I'm into hunting.
Tommy, someone shot that.
No. Mine died of natural causes.
Alright, so what are you saying is misunderstood about your object?
It's not a good look, and I feel that's misunderstood.
I feel like you misunderstood the assignment.
I just love the idea.
Because if Hughes wins this,
he's got to go home and take this with him
and then convince people that he's a vegetarian.
But I'm not a vegetarian. I'm a vegan.
He says that.
Have you seen the skull on the wall and the dead dog in the jar?
Well, I should give out some - scores. - I think so.
Well, Tommy Little gets one. OK.
I'm going to give two points to Lisa because I understand maths.
I'm giving three points to Hughesy.
I respect your dog, but at the same time, it's very depressing.
And I'm trying to create light entertainment here.
Can we smile because he happened?
I'm giving four points to Emma.
I think we all have no idea
what's going on when it comes to that section of the Constitution.
I'm going to give five points to Waka because he made a good point.
I think we've been misunderstanding the giraffe all this time.
Well done.
OK, Boy Wonder, time to earn your keep.
I want a task. I can do that.
And, first up, it's time for our contestants to win at losing.
OK.
Where's Tom?
Tom? There's no Tom.
"Lose the van keys. You cannot leave the van."
Key?
"The keys that remain lost for the longest, wins."
"Tom will arrive to search for the keys in four minutes."
"Your time starts now."
I'll just eat it. Obviously, I'd eat it.
Can I just put it up me?
Can I just put it up my arse?
So it's the very first task for the season, and no Lesser Tom in it.
I like this format.
Do you think maybe we should do it like this from now on?
Just you not being there. I feel like it's already an improvement.
I disagree and, also, we've already filmed it.
Alright.
What a way to kick off the season too.
Tommy Little straightaway discussing putting things up his arse.
I wish I could also say that that was a once off,
but it becomes a really common theme.
That's your comedy. That's what you do, and that's why people love you.
Because you look at what everyone else has already thought,
and just say it out loud.
But is that where you would look first?
Because I've seen your act, yes, because I've seen your act.
I'll think what would Tommy Little think? He wants to keep it basic.
He'd think of putting them straight up his arse,
and I'd just be up your arse in no time.
I'd be like, "Here they are.
"Your comedy is predictable, and so is the location of these keys."
So, just to be clear, losing the keys...
That's right. ...and you can't leave the van.
I'm going to arrive in four minutes, and I'll look for the keys,
longest before I find the keys wins.
Alright. Who are we going to see lose their keys first?
One jiggles her key before it works,
the other laughs when he sees keys being jangled.
It's Lisa and Tommy.
I just want you to know it's not...
It is going down my pants, absolutely.
But it is not going up my arse.
Argh. It's accidentally gone up me. It hasn't gone up me.
Ow! Whoa!
Oh, my gosh. I've got a couple of places I want to put this.
It's not up my arse. It's not... It's on my gooch. Grow up.
Lisa, please step out of the car.
They said I wasn't allowed to. Now, you may. Your time is up.
OK. And where's the key?
That's a trick question, because don't you have to find it?
Where are the keys?
Isn't that's the point, that you have to find them?
Yeah. Wanna give me a hint?
Why would it be in the front end of the car.
It would be in the back end.
Not in the back end. It would be near the back end. It's near it.
Where are they then? Are you in a real hurry?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Why is that?
If you could just tell me where they are...
Do I really need to tell you, or do you have to find them?
Do you want another hint? Yep.
I'm quite ashamed.
What have you done? Is it in your undies?
No.
Why? Why would you guess that?
That's something that would bring you shame.
Oh, my God, now I feel like
I actually should tell you where they are.
Yeah, maybe just a hint so I can find them.
What do you need them for?
Oh, just to start the van and use the van.
For the next task? Yeah, exactly. Stuff like that.
It's in your undies, isn't it? What makes you say that?
Because when I ask you the direct question,
you avert eye contact and giggle
and refuse to promise it's not in your undies.
Do you think I'd put it in my...
Yep. Yeah.
Do you really want me to give them to you?
Really important stuff.
Do you want me to give them to you Seriously? Yeah, yeah.
Am I going to blow it? I'm in a hurry.
Oh, OK. I'll give them to you.
Really? Yeah.
Oh, thank you.
Was that a fail? Thanks, Lisa.
Goodbye.
How would you like to proceed?
Could you just turn away and maybe I'll make the keys appear.
OK.
And we can pretend they weren't in my undies.
That sounds good to me.
Oh, I found 'em. Oh, you found 'em.
What I like is Lisa McCune came in
and you asked for the keys and she just said, "Here they are."
So your reputation as Australia's sweetheart is intact.
Thank you.
Were you worried about your image?
No. I was hoping he'd put his hand down my top again.
I was hoping he was going to say,
"Get it off, McCune. Start taking... Peel off the layers."
That's the first time anyone has ever said that to Tom.
OK, so I just feel like he just politely asked for it,
you just gave it up.
Because he kind of was yelling at me like he wanted them back
and I felt like he needed them, so I thought, I'll give...
That was not yelling. Really?
We're all thinking the same thing, though
They're both disqualified because they left the van
and the keys left the van with them so it's over for both of them.
We were told... It's over for both of them.
No, no.
You couldn't leave the van for the first four minutes
while you were hiding the keys.
After that, the search began, and I asked them to leave the vehicle.
Alright, so... Alright...
Don't set the tone for being a... Yeah.
...a snitchy little bitch from ep one.
Look at Hughesy, straightaway, day one, he's playing tennis
and he's walking straight up to the umpire to have a chat.
So, Tommy, you were pretty vocal
about making it clear the keys weren't up your arse,
but then you were making all kinds of noises
like they were up your arse.
What was that about?
Yeah, I don't know if you've ever had keys right near your arse
and then you've moved around a lot on a seat,
but the wrong movement can end up with
when they weren't up your arse being up your arse pretty quick.
You know what I enjoyed?
You knew they'd been, like, pretty much rested against his ball bag,
and you're like, "No worries, buddy."
What's that about? A job's a job.
So what times are we looking at so far?
Well, using my skills of deduction and personality profiling,
I found Tommy's keys in four minutes and 34 seconds.
Using my skills of asking for the keys,
I found Lisa's in one minute and 26 seconds.
Alright, we need a break.
Just enough time to hide some keys down your trousers
and get your significant other to reach in and fish them out again.
Back soon.
Welcome back to Taskmaster Australia.
It's a new season and our first episode
or 'ep' as they like to call it in the biz.
Yes, and we've already lost the van keys.
Thankfully, they were lost by people
very happy to tell me where they were.
Up next, they'd already amused me, but can they elude me?
It's Waka and Emma.
Alright, so I'm gonna hide the key, and Tom gonna look for...
What? This is spare key and there's so many fake ones here.
I could just chuck em, hey.
I just don't trust my arm.
No!
Alright.
Oh, God. What the hell? Where did you come from?
Where's the key? I don't know.
Where's the key? In the van.
In the van? In the van.
Does that mean it's not? Did you throw it out of the car?
No.
That's Tom doing a task. I love it.
I love watching someone doing a task.
I don't know why I feel bad - now. - You've left quite a few decoys.
Don't get grumpy.
It's nice to see you a bit distressed, I'm gonna be honest.
I can't tell. Are you trying to look?
- Am I trying? - Are you genuinely trying to look?
Yes, I'm genuinely trying to - look. - OK.
When the last time you lost something?
I'm usually pretty good at not losing things.
Yeah, that's why you're not good at looking for them.
If it helps build my case,
at this point, I don't know where the key is.
But why has that point changed?
You're over thinking things, you gotta relax, man.
You just said a very confusing thing.
You say confusing things all the time.
You can't say confusing things, then get mad at me for being confused.
All the information you need is in the task.
Did you find it? Yeah.
Really? I found it.
I don't think so.
The fact you might have believed me means it's near here.
- I love this task. - Can you just tell me where it is?
I reckon I'm gonna go back to the house.
You're done? Yeah, I think I'm done.
Oh, shit.
Is it in here?
You still looking?
Yeah. Any last hints? What?
Please give me a hint. No.
So, Waka, you found a pretty good hiding spot there.
Yeah. And I feel so bad.
The longer it takes time, the more my heart... my heart hurts.
That's weird, because watching it, I felt the exact opposite.
The longer he took to find it,
the more I was just really relaxing and enjoying myself.
Alright, Emma, we got to see you go from loser to hero very quickly.
Did you see the first time I tried to kick it and missed it?
Yeah.
What I liked was the crossed-arms nonchalance of it all.
I started to get really cocky, like, it wasn't good for me.
It wasn't healthy. Oh, we saw it.
Yeah. Yeah.
The power went to your head very quickly.
Yeah, and it remains.
How are we going to judge this, then?
The time for Waka would be pretty clear.
Waka lost the keys for 10 minutes and 38 seconds,
more than doubling Tommy's arse-based efforts.
But then, Emma...
Well, you only just now found out where it was.
I still don't have the keys.
So for the whole time that Emma was in the house doing other tasks,
you were still looking for those keys?
I went multiple times a day back to the van
to look in the van for the keys.
There is nothing I love more in this world
than wasting a man's time.
Well, what time are we looking at?
Emma lost the keys at 10:11am on the 26th of June, 2024.
That was 82 days, six hours and 33 minutes ago.
Absolutely brilliant.
OK, who's left?
Well, Hughesy is known for losing it, but can 'it' be car keys?
It's Dave Hughes.
Alright, I need to lose these keys. I can't leave the van.
Can I move the van?
I can move the van.
Alright.
I have not driven manual for quite a while.
How far can I go?
Tommy!
I'm not getting out of the van, man.
A man with a plan and a van.
This time the plan involves the van leaving.
Here we go. We're out of here.
Sorry, Tommy, we're gone.
So, Hughesy, you found a bit of a hack there?
I know, I think my season just peaked,
uh, but that was wonderful.
Honestly, I felt like... I almost drove home.
For some of our younger viewers, I think putting keys up your arse
would be easier than driving a manual.
I can't believe no one else thought of that though so, yeah.
I was the same with the arse thing.
Did you get the keys back?
He brought the van back at the end of his shooting days
and gave me the keys then.
So the whole time he was in the Taskmaster retreat,
there was no van?
Yep.
When Emma did her throw, I just leaned over and said,
"That's pathetic."
I didn't know what was coming up, so, God, I can't...
If I haven't won this challenge, I'm really going to be sad.
Well, you didn't. Oh!
That's pathetic.
I was without Dave's keys for four days, two hours and 48 minutes.
Ah.
I shouldn't have driven it back. I should have sold the bloody thing.
So that means Lisa's giving-up strategy gets her one point,
Tommy gets two, Waka three,
Dave four,
but Emma takes the task with five points.
Also, give you some episode scores.
With three points each, we've got Lisa and Tommy trailing the pack,
but out in front, Emma Holland on nine points.
OK, what's next?
This one goes out to all the Phil's and Angie's out there.
It's about phalanges.
Tommy. Ah.
Hand.
Well, most of one.
This is very relevant for this task.
"Choose a finger and create an ad for it."
"Your finger must be chosen from
"one of the remaining fingers on this hand."
"For the purposes of this task, the thumb is a finger."
"Ad that proves your chosen finger is the best finger wins."
"You have 45 minutes. Your time starts now."
Do you have a favourite finger?
I mean, they're all quite handy.
I just want to do the middle one.
The only reason I don't wanna do it
is because everybody thinks I'll do the middle one.
Mmm. And they're right.
I'm gonna go with the thumb.
I'm gonna choose the pinky finger.
I think I'm going to go the pointer.
It's the ring finger.
Why have you all left the best till last?
We might have to cast a finger.
Pinky finger is the weakest finger, but very important.
Make a promise.
Now look at this finger. This is a lovely, lean, long finger.
This finger is the only one
that can cause the death of Roman gladiators.
A little bit of a "Come here, tiger," one again. Nice.
I love an infomercial.
I love a call-to-action, "Ring for the ring finger."
That's good. I need a telephone.
I might just get another male one, if we could.
Jesus.
So someone got the choice of all five,
and then someone had the choice of four, three, two, one,
until we got to Hughesy.
You had no choice, did you?
I had no choice, which is often better.
When you say often better,
have you been in a situation like this before?
In life, no choice. Then you've just got to do it.
So, yeah, choices are complicated because they involve choosing.
I suppose we just need to see some finger ads then. Who's first?
First up, pulling the trigger on the trigger finger,
it's Lisa McCune.
♪ Point the way, you make my day
♪ 'Cause, baby, you're my number one. ♪
Hi, I'm Lisa McCune, and we are here to celebrate digital health
and to highlight just how important your pointer finger really is.
So just think for a moment about the many ways
you use your pointer finger every day.
How much easier is it to use your pointer finger
when operating your touch screen?
Hitchhiking when the car breaks down,
beckoning that special someone,
showing someone the way,
diving deep to clear that pesky earwax or crusted-over nasal mucus.
It really is the easiest way to scratch your head
or even your arse.
♪ 'Cause baby, you're my number one. ♪
Spoken by L. McCune for Digital Health Australia, Canberra.
So, Lisa, you would have done a lot of ads
across your career, I'm guessing.
So what's the secret and why didn't you use it here?
I think it's important...
I actually thought my belief in the pointer finger was really strong.
I think I made a really good point there.
I'm happy with the way that it came up.
A bit concerned about a few details.
How do you hitchhike?
That's for like if you need to be picked up and that's for a cab.
Well, see, you've been in showbiz so long
that when everyone else was backpacking,
you were probably saying to your chauffeur, "Over here."
So you probably haven't hitchhiked.
How did she get a finger model? You weren't like...
I auditioned. I asked.
You forced someone else to put their finger up their arse?
Yeah.
To be fair to Lisa,
that particular member of the crew volunteered.
Alright, ad break time, I'm going to spend it
peer pressuring some of the younger cast to pull my finger,
because it's just good fun.
Hello. Welcome back to Taskmaster.
It's our season premiere
where we're taking ad breaks from ad breaks.
That's right. Our contestants are making ads for fingers.
So far, we've seen Lisa's, and it was a bit gross.
Next up, let's hope her thumb ad is more agreeable than opposable,
it's Emma Holland.
Are you a Coliseum spectator tired of not being able to convey
to your local Roman senator
whether you want a gladiator to live or die?
Are you a Roman senator who is tired of not being able to understand
the gestures of your citizens?
If only there was a finger that was bold, opposable,
and easy to comprehend.
Introducing the thumb.
With its very own ligament, the thumb is able to be used
to communicate all kinds of desires for your favourite gladiator's fate.
The thumb can go up for live, down for die,
or sideways for centrism, the correct political view.
Don't be a Russell Crowe, be a Russell No.
The thumb, additional movements sold separately.
I thought that was great. Short, to the point.
Great. We can move on.
Yeah, maybe because you're one of the younger cast members,
you're good at making short, shareable content for online.
I don't think I'd share that.
Alright, so I thought it was very good,
but, unfortunately, in Roman times
I think thumbs down meant thumbs up and thumbs up meant thumbs down.
I think a lot of people believe that, yes.
I wasn't alive, then, I wouldn't know.
Alright, who's giving us a good fingering next then?
It's pinky and the brain -
he used his brain to make an ad for a pinky.
It's Takashi Wakasugi.
I'm a pinky finger.
I'm the weakest and the most useless finger.
I cannot help people.
Waka? Tom!
Help! Tom!
Ah! To-o-o-om!
I cannot be cool.
No!
I'm always dirty.
I always get hurt.
What a cute dog! What's your name?
Ah!
But I can make promise.
Promise is very important.
Let's make more promise.
It's quite a journey, Waka, that you took us on.
So, do you think it's cool to shoot endangered wildlife?
Just to be clear.
I think so.
Were you aiming the gun at the shoulder?
Shoulder, yes. Not neck. Alright.
Also, one thing I did really respect that you did in your ad,
which I quite enjoyed,
was you picked your nose and straight after that,
put it in the dog's mouth.
I think we all enjoyed that. That was funny.
I'm now trying to think which scene we shot first.
I like to think one led straight into the other.
Alright, who's next?
He chose the ring finger.
But it's my time to propose that we watch Dave Hughes.
It's Dave Hughes.
Hi, viewers. Have I got a bargain for you?
The ring finger. I have one left.
Phones are here and they are ready.
Are you sick of rolling the dice? You are.
Ring now!
See the shaka?
You know why these fingers are down? Because they're being protected.
It's the last one.
Do you know what they say? They save the best to last.
Are you drunk?
Get on the phone and we will dial up the savings.
We are running out of time. Now. Gotta ring now.
It'll be gone. Before you know it's gone.
Are our phones working? Tom, have you paid the bill?
Ring for the ring finger.
Hello?
Yeah, you can have it.
Sold it. It's gone. You were too late.
Sorry.
But so you're advertising the ring finger,
at the very end, you picked up the phone and said,
"Yeah, you can have it," and you sold it.
So then why would anyone ring at all?
Uh, yeah, I don't know.
No, you know what I've understood here just so far in this show that,
yeah, it's a stiff competition.
Some of these guys have got really good ideas, and I...
I'm feeling under pressure.
Something else I noticed? I mean, I think it was a very effective ad.
But you spent the whole time trying to sell a ring finger by pointing.
Yeah, I...I think you're helping out Lisa.
Look, I didn't know that Lisa was going for the pointer finger,
but I'm happy that she gets a leg up because she needs it.
Uh...
You don't need to be mean. No, I was... No, no...
Here he is, Captain Snitchy Poo again.
I mean, you were pointing so often, I thought you were hitchhiking.
Yeah.
Dave used his index finger 17 times.
Alright, ad time. Take us to the break, Salesman Hughesy.
Ring now.
Hello, and welcome back.
Lesser Tom, why has everyone in the audience been locking pinkies,
giving the thumbs up and asking if Hughesy's alright?
Because we've been doing a task about fingers
and Hughesy doesn't seem alright.
Last to compete with his predictable choice of the rude finger,
it's Tommy Little.
G'day. My name's Malcolm.
Ten years ago, my discus got stuck in the lawnmower,
and I reached in with both me middle fingers to get it out.
And now I ain't got none.
And you might think, "Has that affected your life?"
Yeah, yeah, it has.
The other day I was driving in traffic, a bloke cut me off,
and I said, "Watch where you're going."
He thought I was enthusiastically suggesting he turn right.
The other night I was with my missus, Karen.
We were lying in bed.
We've been together for 20 years and she Dutch Ovened me.
And I said, "Oh, you cheeky little thing."
It was almost completely lost on her.
I was at the sport watching my favourite football team
and the ref made a horrible decision.
Oh. And I said, "You white maggot!"
He thought I was being encouraging.
It's one of the most common ways to lose your fingers in a lawn mower.
The next time your discus is stuck, just leave it, yeah.
Or otherwise, you'll be stuck with no middles, like me.
I'll be honest, Tom, I didn't remember doing that.
And I thought maybe that was just because I drank too much.
But, no, I blocked that out of my memory,
and I have no idea where that accent came from.
Where were you from?
I don't know.
So you reached in under a lawnmower...
To get a discus, Tom! What don't you understand?
Well, I'm sorry, did you mean a disc was under a lawn mower?
There's a disc that has blades on it.
Again, I'm not sure of the initial concept of the idea,
but it appears like I'm talking for one you throw in the Olympics.
If it's under a lawn mower, that would've been a spiral thing,
and it would've made sense.
Don't tell me what my skit was.
Actually, if you can tell me what my skit was.
I think I have to give away some scores.
And giving away the least amount of scores is pretty easy.
So Tommy's on one. OK.
Don't worry, I'm not happy about it either.
And Hughesy gets two. Yeah. Happy with that.
Then I'm going to give three points to Waka.
It was... It was a beautiful story.
I'll give four points to Lisa McCune.
I'll buy anything she's selling because she's just so lovable.
And five points to Emma because it was just a really good ad.
I love that.
Alright. Shall we wade into one - more? - I think we shall.
We're off to the dock for this one
for our first team task of the season.
Hi, Emma. Hello, Thomas.
How are you? I'm OK.
How are you? I'm great.
I like your umbrella.
I like yours. Am I going to get wet?
I think there's a non-zero chance that you get wet.
Oh, hey. Is that Tommy? Em, is that you?
Yeah. Hi.
Hello. How are you? What are you doing?
Just hanging... Hanging out with Tom, making good conversation.
That sounds like a lie.
Oh, my God. Dave.
"Make one of your red things touch one of your..."
Dave! That's Dave Hughes.
Hello. Dave Hughes.
Oh, Lisa. How are you?
My God. How are you?
I'm great. What are you doing over there?
It's... It's hard for your words to get through the rain.
Yeah. Hello. This is... What?
It's exactly like that. I have no idea what he's saying.
Oh, my God, it's Waka. Hey, Waka.
Hey, Waka. Emma, Tommy.
Yeah. Hey, brother. How are you?
I'm good. How are you? Very good.
Why'd they have to put me with Tom.
Yeah. I don't know, I feel like he requested it.
Do I read this out now?
He's ploughing on without you. Yeah, it's a task...
Make one of your red things touch one of your team-mate's green things.
Make one of your red things... One of your green things...
One of your yellow things...
...touch one of your team-mate's green or yellow things.
You must remain within your designated zones.
Also, every 30 seconds...
...you must wave to your team-mates and introduce yourself again.
Fastest wins. You have 45 minutes.
Your time starts now.
Let's do it!
Um, now, just to be clear,
did both teams have to introduce themselves every 30 seconds?
No, only the team of three. Right.
That was just because there's three of them, they've got an advantage,
and we needed something just to even up the...
And it's funny.
OK, make a green thing touch your red thing or your yellow thing.
Sounds like a Wiggles after-party.
Who are we seeing first?
Call them romance novels because they need to be touching quickly,
it's Waka, Emma and Tommy.
Hey, Waka. Yes.
It's me Tommy. Hello, good day, Tom.
Hi, Tommy. I'm Emma. Hi, Waka. I'm Waka, Tommy, Emma.
Oh, yeah. By any chance, have you got Frisbees?
Yep.
Do you wanna go three-way in the middle?
I can't tell you how bad at throwing I am.
You ready? Yep.
I'm Tommy, by the way. I'm Emma.
I'm Waka. Emma.
OK. Let's do it.
One, two, three, Frisbee.
Oh, my gosh, you guys are shit.
I told you as soon as we started that I couldn't throw.
I'm Tommy, by the way. I'm Emma. Nice to meet you.
I'm Emma. Hi, Tommy.
What's... Tommy, I'm Waka. Sorry.
Hi, Waka. Hi, Tommy.
Waka, what are you thinking?
Can you please throw something big?
I played baseball before, so I think I can hit.
Oh.
Well, that's alright. Waka, what do you reckon?
Go on. Let's finish the task.
Come on, Waka.
Thank you, Tommy, Emma. My name is Waka.
Ah, shit.
I reckon we use the duct tape to tape them like this
and then we can just, like, push them across the top of the lake.
Emma? Yeah.
I'm Tommy. Oh, I'm Emma. Nice to meet you.
How'd you know my name? I hadn't introduced myself yet.
I'm Emma. I'm not Emma. Sorry, I'm...
Do you wanna noodle it out and I'll see if I can fish?
Yeah. Oh .
That's close to me, though.
That was a great idea, Tom. I'm gonna do more.
Great, Waka. You just keep throwing shit, bro.
Ah! Oh, no. His boot's come off.
I reckon I'm gonna get it.
Oi, fellas. I reckon I might touch the ball.
Oh, Em, Em, Em!
Come on. Yeah, I think that's touched.
Yeah.
I'm Emma, by the way. I'm Tommy.
Nice to meet you guys.
How do you feel?
Uh. Like closer together, but also very far apart.
So, Tommy, despite Emma introducing herself as Emma
over and over and over again, you kept calling her Em.
What's that about?
Oh, when you're friendly with someone,
you won't be familiar with this, um...
...sometimes you shorten their name a little bit.
But Emma had just introduced herself.
Is it? You're getting friendly very quickly.
I was into it.
Now, Waka, was it wise to try to kick a soccer ball with a gumboot on?
Yep. It was also a bit slippy.
Do you remember that was after the rain? So I try, but...
Can I just say, Waka just complained about the conditions being wet.
Did you see what we had to deal with, Waka?
Come on. Come on.
Hughesy's walked straight back up to the umpire's chair.
"It was wetter at my end of the court.
"Look how wet it is up here."
Alright, no team names coming to me just yet. I don't know.
I enjoyed that, but I didn't... nothing really stuck out at me.
You wanna know how long they - took? - Not really.
I think we should, for the conceit of the show.
OK, so Tommy and Emma worked together as team-mates,
while Waka kept thinking he was one of his team-mates,
for nine minutes and 40 seconds.
Alright, so we're one part closer to finding out
who's getting to take an Uber home
with Hughesy's dead dog rattling around on their knee.
Back soon.
Hello. Welcome back.
We're in the middle of our first team task,
and there's exercise balls, noodles, and all sorts of bonkers fun
because we're crazy like that.
That's right.
Our teams are at the dock trying to get some things to touch.
So far, we've seen a team of Tommy, Waka, and Emma.
Next up, they may be older, but can they get golder?
It's Lisa and Dave.
OK, Dave. Yeah.
Thread the rope through the noodle.
I was thinking we could just throw both balls in the water
and hope they meet.
Do you want to try that first?
Right, this is to win the World Cup for Australia, the Matildas.
- Let's go. - Channel Sam Kerr or Mary Fowler.
Kick it. Yah!
That was pretty good, and that is coming this way.
Do you want this one too? Alright.
Go on two.
Oh, they're going away. I need to kick it now I think.
My God, now where do I kick? You gave me too many options.
Shit, it's too lumpy. What am I doing?
Where am I kicking it? I'm giving you options.
Do I wait for kick off? Oh, God. I'm just gonna kick it.
One, two... Ah! I can't. Ah! Ah!
Oh, my God! I saved it!
Come on, Dave. Go!
Oh, my God! That was such a shit kick.
Oh, my God.
I'm not... I'm not thinking straight. I'm having a shocker.
Do you have anything else to - throw? - No, I've thrown everything.
But I'm going to make one gigantic long noodle.
Dave, this is gonna work. I can feel it.
It's just time consuming.
You need to throw your buoy out.
You gonna attach the buoy to the front of it?
Don't throw me out. I don't know.
What is this? Is there a drone?
Then I'm just going to do it while he's not looking.
Shit.
I feel like I've got a controller here for something.
I'm giving you options, Dave.
Oh. But have I got a drone?
Oh, my God, it's not moving.
OK, Dave, start chucking shit at it. Go!
Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
Get it over there, Lisa. Get that noodle to it.
You can do this. Oh, my God.
You go, girl.
Dave! Come on, you good thing.
Hey, kick your soccer ball.
I'm gonna run up. Go, Dave!
Australia up one nil. There's a minute to go.
I've got it. I'm the goalkeeper.
I've got to get the ball out of our area, back to the other end.
Come on. Yes!
We did it!
Dave Hughes, you're a legend. We did it! You did it!
It's the A-Team. The A-Team. Don't get too cocky.
Get that in your face, you other teams. Oh, one other team.
Getting cocky. Losers!
Starting to get cocky. Yeah.
Yeah.
I think he's getting - overexcited. - We did it.
Oh, my God!
So you'd like to be called the A-Team?
I just thought we did a great job.
And my first kick was terrible as we all laughed at it.
But what about my second kick? It was incredible.
It was the winning kick. It was the winning kick.
It was a great kick but also a timed task
so how long it took was important.
You decided to commentate on your kick.
So you stood back there and it was a great kick
but it would have been even better without the yap-yap.
Yeah, but for me, time stood still and it was just wonderful.
- It was so wet. - Was that a remote-controlled boat?
Yes. I can't believe it.
So what happened was you found the remote control
to a remote-controlled boat that Lisa just off into the water.
Did we have that as well?
Yeah. You also had the same thing.
But, in your case, the boat landed upside down.
But if it had landed the other way,
you fiddling with the controls would've made it take off.
Would've made it work, yeah.
But we weren't aware the boat was connected
to the controls at any point so...
I don't know why you're explaining that to people watching.
That was very clear to everyone who was watching at home.
Yeah.
OK, well, I'm pretty happy with team names
that Hughesy came up with there.
It's like the A-Team, which is - great. - A-Team.
You said you were the A-Team, you are the A-Team.
That makes you the B-Team.
But A in this case stands for 'aged' because you're a bit older.
And with the other team, B stands for 'better'.
So it's the Aged Team and the Better Team
will be the names for the whole series.
Thanks so much for helping me out with thinking up the name, Hughesy.
I really appreciate it.
No, I will cop 'aged'. I cop it every day, no doubt.
But Lisa McCune hasn't aged a day since 1997, mate,
so let's not worry about that.
Thanks, Dave. He's got my back.
What we need to know, how long did they both take?
The B-Team touched two things together
in nine minutes and 40 seconds.
Dave and Lisa, the A-Team, took 23 minutes and seven seconds.
God. I thought we did OK. That's OK.
It's up to you how to apportion the scores.
I feel the Better Team gave the Aged Team a flogging,
so I think I'm gonna make it five, five, five, two, two.
OK. What?
And in terms of episode scores, there's four people with scores,
but almost none of that really matters
because charging away with it is Emma
on nearly the maximum possible 19 points.
OK, please make your way to the stage
for the final task of the show.
Alright, kiddo, who's going to read the task?
Tommy Little.
"Hang the hangers on your rack.
"Before you toss a hanger,
"you must be wearing its T-shirt in the traditional way.
"You must remain on your mat, and your mat cannot move.
"For every hanger that misses,
"you compliment the person next to you about their outfit.
"Most hangers hung wins."
"You have 180 seconds."
Are we ready to go? Yeah.
Here we go.
Ah!
Oh, you, I love your blue... I do too.
Oh, so close. Oh, it's a beautiful shirt.
Ah! You look gorgeous in orange.
Lisa, you look amazing. You look good, Dave.
You, I love your... I love everything.
Lisa, compliments. Dave, you look great in green.
Thank you. Yeah! Alright.
Come on.
Here we go.
Oh! You look fetching in - orange. - Thank you.
Oh!
Hang on. What? One minute left.
Amazing. No!
Oh. Oh!
Yeah. Oh!
That is so clever. I'm gonna do that.
Yes!
Oh!
I go in. Oh!
It fell off.
...nine, eight, seven...
...six, five, four...
...three, two, one...
You're stunning. Oh, my God.
Alright, well, we've got to come back after the break
to find out who wins the concept of maths.
See you after the break.
Hello. Welcome back to Taskmaster.
The T-shirts have not been hung,
and we're hanging on to find out who's going to win the episode.
OK, sweet curly-haired boy, give us some scores.
Well, we had what is inarguably a tie, I would say.
Contrary to what Hughesy was saying,
there was nothing in the rules against sabotage.
It's up to you how much we're giving our contestants.
Well, I don't feel like they equally came first,
I feel like they equally came last.
So I think everyone gets zero. OK.
I'm allowed to say that's disappointing, aren't I?
Yeah, yeah, as someone on the show, for you it's disappointing,
but for viewers at home, it's deeply satisfying.
Some of them will be unhappy. You'll get emails.
Now you've got to go and make up an email address.
There'll be no emails.
And who does this mean won our first episode?
16 points puts Waka in second,
meaning our winner with 19 points is Emma Holland.
Alright, congratulations, Emma.
Get up there and claim your misunderstood things.
Well, there we go. What have we learned?
Well, we learned that no matter what it is or where it's been,
it's probably been up Tommy's arse.
We learned that Dave Hughes has a dead dog
and a propensity for snitching.
And those things might be - connected. - No.
Most of all, we've learned that Emma is the winner.
Good night.
How are we going, Babycakes?
We're going pretty well, Papa Strudel.
Yes. Thomas!
Competing for the Taskmaster trophy are five comedians.
Sorry, four comedians and Lisa McCune.
Oh, my gosh.
Sorry, three comedians and Tommy Little and Lisa McCune.
Sorry. Sorry, I'll start again.
Competing are five humans.
Sorry, four humans and Dave Hughes.
Wait up.
You really are lesser in every way, aren't you?
Oh, no. I might have a breakdown.
It was almost probably the best task ever in the history of the show.
Sorry, I tuned out in the middle.
Ah! Ah!
You dickhead.
Yes.
Thanks, Dave. Tommy, Waka, Lisa, Emma.
So I shouldn't use logic, I should just go on how I feel?
Absolutely. The way women do.
Captions by Red Bee Media