That's a shocking start.
Yep. That's it.
Where's Tom?
Ah...
No!
I hate you.
Let me out of here!
Hello! It's Taskmaster time.
Tell your mum to come in from the shed
and your dad to put some lippy on,
because it's 2025, you idiots.
Your mums can be into woodworking
and your dads are meant to look pretty.
This is the show where five contestants duck and weave
through my devious demands to win an item
that's the source of the dandruff
used to make gold flake vodka.
It's the Taskmaster trophy.
Those contestants are...
...Dave Hughes...
...Emma Holland,
Lisa McCune,
Takashi Wakasugi
and Tommy Little.
Hello.
And beside me, the guy who once said he'd love to see
an all-female remake of Gallipoli.
It's Tom Cashman.
How's it going, Lesser Tom?
I'm OK. It's tough for me at night, you know, because I'm a muso.
Oh, right. It should be easy for you.
Musicians love the nightlife.
Out at night. Aren't you a - night owl? - Oh.
Oh, sorry. I've been using it - wrong. - Oh.
I thought 'muso' referred to someone who likes muesli.
I've been telling everyone I'm a muso.
Yes, that's the end of it.
Right.
All right, let's kick things off.
A prize task, please, Lesser - Tom. - Of course.
Tonight our prize task is
the thing most worthy of being hidden when visitors come around.
Ooh. So you've got visitors at your house. What are you ashamed of?
Lisa.
I'm gonna sound like a really bad mother, but it is my son's bedroom.
Like, I actually have started sneaking in sometimes
to take some of the washing out, to get some of it done,
because it just piles up so badly.
And now he's gonna know, because he likes watching this show.
But I do. How old is he?
Um, he'll be 21 soon.
OK, so, Waka, you've got visitors. What are you ashamed of?
I think... air fryer.
I just don't like the - conversation. - Why?
If someone came, find air fryer, "Ah!"
They start talking about air fryer.
Where did you get? How big? Yeah, yeah.
It's very boring.
So you don't like the chat that it generates?
And then you brought it in this show for the part of the show
where we normally chat about a thing.
You're annoying yourself now.
No. Just don't... don't...
So can we talk about... I love air fryers.
Can we talk about that? Seriously?
Air fryer changed my life.
Honestly, you slice a potato. This is great.
Slice the potato. Tell him more.
A little bit of salt.
A little bit of olive oil.
This is what I'm talking about.
I know. I hate the conversation.
Even better, Hughesy.
Hey, if you are watching this show and you're a big fan of Taskmaster
and you see Waka in the street, ask him about his air fryer.
He would love it! No!
Stop him.
All right. Tommy, what are you ashamed of?
Well, mine will sound good until you see it.
Um, years ago, I did a sketch for a dear friend and comedian
and from this show, Luke McGregor.
And it's a framed picture of all of us.
But have a look.
Now, the reason I don't like having it out is obvious,
because it starts a conversation.
And for the record, Hughesy's is the only one that's accurate.
No, no, can I say...
And Luke did a great job with that show
'cause it gets played in schools
and it's been played in my own children's schools.
And they say, "Is that your dad?"
It is crazy to label the one man of colour in that photo as 'other'.
All right. Emma, what are you ashamed of?
It's my full scale model skeleton.
Oh.
He sits in my house, and the only place he fits is this chair
at the end of my bed.
Um...
I love his little cuck chair. I think it's really cute.
Um, and also, when we have guests over,
particularly like my husband's parents, when they come over,
we don't want them to see a full scale skeleton,
because it'll scare them, so I put him in my car
because there's no other place for him.
What message are you sending by doing that? It's like...
I am unwell. Yeah.
OK. So, Dave.
Yes. It's a pillow, which is a weird thing to hide,
because you shouldn't be ashamed of a pillow, should you?
Um, yeah. So that's my...
So that's, um...
It doesn't look like a pillow. It looks like you're getting a massage.
I...
It does.
It makes me feel a bit egocentric to have it on display
when visitors come over. So...
You find that egocentric?
Yeah. I'm... Yeah.
Hughesy, for those who don't know, when we're in a foreign city
and we're walking at night together, he refuses to walk with us
because if someone asks us for a photo and not him,
he gets offended.
And so... I don't get offended,
I get sad, so... Which is different.
So... and you're all very well known in your own rights
and deserve recognition, but just... I don't want it around me.
Uh, so, yeah, but anyway, I'm sick of people wanting to draw...
...paint me for the Archibald, all right? So...
This is all... Stop that.
This is all great, relatable stuff.
No, because they pay you for the Archibald.
You don't win. They don't even get in the final.
I know.
And then they put the painting up on eBay and I have to buy it.
I know.
How many... how many do you have?
I've got about three at home.
Got to allocate some points here.
As always, it's pretty - challenging. - Yeah.
I'm gonna give one point to - Waka. - OK.
And I do encourage anyone who does run into Waka
to have a chat about it. It's a great chat.
No need to be ashamed of it.
Chat about it.
Don't talk to me about air fryer.
Tommy Little, you get two points because you had HIV
and you were referring to that as a negative,
and some people live with it. No, no...
And it's nothing to be ashamed of.
And I would hate for anyone at home to feel terrible
because of Tommy Little's poorly thought through comedy.
I'm gonna give three points to Emma
because I feel like a skeleton, it's not... it's not that embarrassing.
Four points to Lisa because I could smell the photo.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
But five points is gonna go to Hughesy
because that pillow is disgusting.
Thank you. Thank you.
All right, so we know what they're playing for.
How are they playing for it, Lesser Tom?
For this next task, my tunnel vision really came in handy.
Hi, Emma. Oh, my God.
Hi, Waka.
Hello, Tom.
Oh, hi, Tom.
Do you want me to come and read it next to you so we can be together?
Yeah, if you want. Why not? OK.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God.
Oh, shi...
Oh! They just work on the show.
Let's do it.
"Sneak the sticky-taped balloon along the tunnel to Tom."
Oh! It's about the balloon
that was back there. Yeah.
"The lights will turn off for five seconds every eight seconds."
"If Tom sees the balloon when the lights are on,
"you must start again."
"Whenever the lights come on, you must wave at Tom with both hands."
"If the balloon pops, you will be disqualified."
"Fastest to get the balloon to Tom wins."
"Your time starts now."
Every five seconds for eight seconds.
Hang on, five seconds for eight seconds.
Careful of the spooky - people. - Agh!
What happened, Tommy?
Were you frightened to learn that there were other people
working on the show?
Embarrassingly, yes.
OK, who's down the shaft first?
As the youngest contestants, they were probably
mucking around with balloons most recently, it's Waka and Emma.
OK, might as well just give it a go, hey.
Hi, Tom.
I can see the balloon.
Please return to the start.
Thank you.
Please wave, Emma.
Hi, Tom.
Not really waving to me.
Faster, faster!
Wait, wait, wait. I can see the balloon.
Yeah.
Oh, this is hard.
I saw the balloon.
All right.
Hi, Tom. Hi, Emma.
Yes, I got it.
I can put...
Actually, I can move here at that time, actually.
Hi, Tom. Hi, Tom. Hi, Tom. Hi, Tom.
Hi, Tom.
Oh,
You scared the shit out of me.
Two minutes and 20 seconds left.
Take it, take it, take it, take it, take it, take it.
What's the task again? Yeah.
What?
Touch the balloon?
What?
All the information you need is in the dark.
"Fastest to reach Tom will win."
Give me the balloon. OK. OK.
When you are dark.
Thanks, Waka.
Thank you.
Bye, Tom. Bye, Emma.
Oh, my God!
It happened again.
So Waka, what did you think the task was?
You just had to run to the end and pretend you're pregnant,
then rub your belly on...?
I thought, it's finished, I already arrived,
and then I say hello to Tom, and that's when it's finished.
So you thought it was finished because you said hello,
so then you desperately rubbed your tummy on him.
I touched Tom too. Shake your hands there.
So you took the plinth with you, Emma. How do you think that worked?
Uh, it was pretty arduous on my big muscles, but I made it work.
And so before that, you were trying something else.
You were just trying to stash them behind those pillars?
Yeah, but, like, because of the nature of the balloon,
it just kind of kept floating out,
and so I didn't really... Right.
Honestly, I felt like it was the only option for me,
what I ended up doing.
Emma's plinth shuffling took ten minutes and 17 seconds.
And Waka, even after doing 99% of the task and then starting again,
took exactly nine minutes.
OK, Emma and Waka have done well and earned two minutes
on their Game Boy Color.
We'll have a little rest, a few cordials and see you after this.
Welcome back to Taskmaster.
We've got balloons. We've got the dark.
Come on in, little children.
That's right. Our contestants are trying
to sneak a balloon down a tunnel.
If I see the balloon while the lights are on, the contestants
must go back to the start.
Up next, our older contestants.
Did they struggle in the tunnel because they kept reaching
for the light at the end of it? It's Lisa and Dave.
I saw the balloon!
Oh, yeah, I know. I'm starting again. Yeah?
Yes.
Agh!
I know you saw the balloon.
I saw the balloon!
Oh, shit. It didn't.
Thanks, Lisa.
It popped.
"Your time starts now."
Oh!
Thanks, Dave.
Those rocks have not been eroded enough.
Please walk back down the tunnel, Dave.
It's not my finest moment.
So, Dave, when the task is to not pop the balloon, that's key.
Why did you think putting it against
a wall of sharp rocks would help?
Balloons were stronger in my day. Uh...
And... Yeah. So for me, it was...
It was the last task of the day.
And it was beer o'clock earlier than they thought
it was gonna be, so...
Lisa, I think I'm glad yours popped, because you didn't seem
to be very good at hiding the balloon.
Look... It was poking out all over the place.
I know. And look, it does look worse. I took longer in between.
It didn't happen that quickly, but basically
I was really shit at it.
Well, I think I'm kind of relieved, actually, because they both are...
...you know, some of the oldest contestants on the show.
And I just feel like if you did run further down the corridor
and you discovered the crew that were working there...
...I'm just worried you could have had a heart scare.
And, I mean, spare a thought for the crew as well, Tom,
because obviously if Lisa comes down,
the crew are gonna scare Lisa.
But if Hughesy comes down, the crew are gonna shit themselves.
So Lisa's balloon popped after two minutes and 35 seconds.
I think Dave's effort, you could argue what he did
was indistinguishable from if the envelope had said
"pop the balloon". It popped after 24 seconds.
Hey, come on.
You know, at least you offered us some brevity. Cashman, let's go.
Like a helium balloon,
the only way he knows how to have fun is to get really high.
It's Tommy Little.
"Whenever the lights are on, you must flail both hands in the air
"and scream loudly.
"Your time starts now."
Just making... Agh!
Hi, Tommy.
Oh, my God. Don't pop.
I saw the balloon.
Please go back to the start. What the ?
It's dark, it's dark. Take the balloon.
Take the balloon!
You savage!
Thanks, Tommy.
Gonna keep the lights on when I walk away?
Exit's that way. But...
you!
Yeah. So, Tommy, we accidentally worded your task a bit differently.
Barely discernible, though.
And so ultimately, you just did Waka's trick.
You just stuffed it up your shirt.
Well, to be fair, I didn't know it was Waka's trick,
so according to me, it was my trick.
Sorry. I'll pick that up. Waka did Tommy's trick.
We both didn't read the task in the end.
Well, Tommy, he flailed only in the literal sense.
He took just three minutes and 52 seconds.
That means Dave and Lisa get zero points,
Emma gets three, Waka gets four, but Tommy wins the task
with five points.
And in terms of scores for the overall episode,
we've got Emma on six, but Tommy's in the lead with seven points!
Ooh.
All right, let's move on from this unholy service shaft.
I'm just getting word I've been granted three wishes.
I wish for a new task.
I wish for it to be entertaining.
And my third wish is for everyone to know how thankful I am
for those first two wishes.
It's a long way. I should have taken the bike.
I jog. Because I love task. With you.
Just the usual?
"Flip a coin from the furthest distance into the wishing well.
"You must make a new wish with every flip.
"You have five minutes.
"Your time starts now."
All right, it's easy one, simple one.
World peace, 'cause let's do world peace on an easy one.
That's good. We're going well.
10 million bucks.
I think the duck is laughing at your wish.
I want to be cool.
I wish you'd stop looking at me like that.
That's OK.
I wish I had longer legs.
I want to be popular. Damn it!
I wish I could see Coldplay live again.
That my hair continues to be luscious.
Oh, God.
I want a helicopter.
I want a plane.
Oh! You mother.
Did I get that one in?
Yeah. Oh, yay!
There's hope for me yet.
What's that?
"Make the wish from your last successful flip come true.
"Truest made wish wins.
"You have 30 minutes.
"Your time starts now."
I don't even remember what the wish was.
What was my last successful flip?
What did I say?
Do you remember what your...?
Yes.
We all remember what it was.
So just to be clear, we want to see them make their last wish come true.
Mm-hm. But we haven't seen it yet.
That's correct. Oooh!
We got an insight into how privileged Hughesy's life is.
Most people just want their life to be better.
Hughesy just wants to continue to have luscious hair.
On the other hand, in Hughesy's defence,
his first wish was world peace.
Tommy's first wish was $10 million for himself.
OK, let's get this wish list cranking.
First up, with the most Tommy Little wish imaginable,
it's Tommy Little.
What's the most cliche thing you think I would wish for?
A bigger dick?
Oh, who cares about the rest of the task?
Oh!
How big is it at the moment? It's not big.
That's actually good for this, though.
I can't just... I can't just get an erection on TV.
Heat might help.
No, but even then, comparatively, it'll make my balls appear bigger
and my dick look even smaller.
So you only ever measure the size of penis relative to the balls?
That's good.
I don't know what's good about what I just said.
I just thought I could make my balls smaller.
And so, comparatively... If I put ice down my pants...
Yes. ...and you scare me...
Yep. ...is that television?
I think that's fun. How long have we got?
16 minutes and 20 seconds. OK.
I figured you could scare me as a clown.
OK. And remember, somehow,
this is to make my dick bigger.
OK. Yep.
OK. Are you ready?
Yep.
Close your eyes. Oh, my God!
Hurry up!
Tommy, open... Open your eyes in five seconds.
Count down. Five. Four. Three. Two. One.
Ohhhh!
Oh!
How do you think you went? Not good, bro.
So, Tommy, first of all, congratulations for being on brand.
I'll have it known getting an erection was the easy option,
and I chose not to take it.
So you were...
...you were wanting to create the illusion of largeness via making
something else smaller? Yes.
And hoping I wasn't secretly aroused by clowns.
OK, but was your wish that you wanted to make it SEEM bigger
or that you wanted to make it bigger?
Seem bigger?
I think it was... No, bigger.
...you wanted to make it bigger. Bigger. Yeah.
So I think it would have been unchanged in length,
perhaps even shrunk a bit just from the...
It definitely would have shrunk.
Did you see that tape measure? I was no way that big before.
He has got us a little bit
in that it's not allowed to measure it.
Yeah. We kind of have to trust him
to some degree for the measurement.
Yeah, I think Cashman's right.
You've got to trust Tommy Big Dick on this one.
OK. They've just told me we're going to take a break,
but I think that's code for "the show has been cancelled".
Thanks to Tommy.
Find out whether we're back or not soon!
Welcome back to Taskmaster.
We're in the throes of a task and wishing for a good outcome,
aren't we, Tom? That's right.
Tommy was first, and we all know what Tommy did.
Next up, like a stingy genie, she'll only make one wish come true.
It's Emma Holland.
I wish I knew what it meant to love.
Why did I say that?
I'm gonna try and develop a love friendship
with you in the next 30...
36 minutes and 38 seconds. OK.
What's your favourite childhood memory?
The only thing that's coming to mind is me winning cross-country.
OK. I feel like I could learn to love you if I saw you in a moment
of pure joy. OK.
And I think a moment of pure joy would be you winning a race.
Ready? Yeah.
Set.
Congratulations. Thank you.
Well done. Wow.
Now I know what it means to love.
I feel like that's what nerd love looks like.
You look like you met at a flash mob.
That's the meanest thing anyone's ever said to me.
OK, so you wanted to know what it meant to love,
and you... and you're married.
And I presume your husband's watching the show.
So... Yeah. And so that's awkward.
It's like, you know, I'm on the screen.
I'm playing a character.
You know, I'm not really me. I see. Yeah, OK.
Can we establish that you do love...
...you do love your husband?
Yeah. If you want to say that, for sure. Yeah.
All right, Cashman, I wish for us to see another go.
Will there be wishful thinkers or bashful stinkers?
It's Waka and Lisa.
I want to eat steak tonight.
I wish that I could cook a souffle.
Yes!
Steak!
Good smell?
You know.
I'm gonna whisk the egg whites. So this...
I reckon you've probably got about ten minutes left of that,
and then we'll be great.
Ten minutes of this? Yep.
So, 190 on the oven and.
Make a wish is great.
But don't be too big.
Small steps. Small dream makes you happy.
Does it say anything in there
about what to do when your arm starts getting sore?
Hey, and just keep going. You're building up muscle.
Just don't worry about the pain.
Beat the egg yolks well.
Oh, sorry. It's these you've got to beat with those.
That's all right. Just start on those.
It'll be all right. It's good for you.
I'm gonna do a warm basin of warm water.
Just chuck the eggs in there just to warm them.
I can't find a sifter, and I'm just going to sift it through your hands.
Hey, who does the dishes here?
Um, me.
OK. Oh, my God.
I accidentally poured water into the...
Oh, my God!
The eggs.
I've gotta do it again.
Do you reckon I get a couple of minutes back
for the moment that you put the water in my eggs?
Unfortunately not. I'm sorry.
It's just gonna be a fast rise.
I did everything perfect in this task.
How do you feel?
Deflated.
Hope you eat steak tonight.
Is this your philosophy in life, Waka?
Yeah, it looks good, right? It looks good.
You know what? Because I didn't use air fryer.
Better. Waka got very lucky.
If I could read out some other wishes you made.
"I want to be cool."
"I want to be tall."
"I want to win Taskmaster."
"I want to travel more." "I want to buy a house."
"I want to live longer." "I want to be a genius."
And then "I want to eat a steak tonight."
That goes in.
So, Lisa, I haven't eaten too many souffles that are just watery eggs.
Yeah, and look, I was hoping my experience would be a little more
like your experience with your steak, but I think
we had a few issues in the kitchen, and it just...
...it turned to shit, and that's OK.
And I would like to formally apologise.
You did tell me to put the egg yolks down under the sink,
but then I forgot about it and washed my hands.
You know what? It was a mistake. And we make mistakes and that's OK.
It's all right.
I really like you
and I would love to cook more souffles with you one day.
I really enjoyed your company in the kitchen.
Thank you. I can see, like,
I fell in love in that moment.
A little bit like... Like, you...
You should have cooked with him, because it was a moment.
Yeah, I-I love Tom.
Lisa's being very sweet.
If I could just read out a few of your other wishes,
which are very sweet.
"I wish that all these little ducks would start quacking."
"I really wish that Tom Gleeson was here."
"I wish to be on a mountain where it's snowing in a warm cabin."
"I wish for my children to stay at home forever."
Awww!
I do. I like doing their washing.
Lisa failed with the souffle. Did not achieve the wish.
But it's kind of your fault, buddy.
I mean... But no, I'm happy to cop it.
I don't want him to take the blame for it.
I'm happy to take one point.
It was Tom's fault my dick didn't get bigger.
Are you saying that your normal amount of horniness was reduced
to a point where an erection didn't kick in,
where if I wasn't there, it would have?
Shut up, dick shrinker.
OK, let's souffle our way to the final attempt, Tom Cashman.
Will he be wishing poorly or wishing well?
It's Dave Hughes.
Uh, my wife doesn't buy too many cats.
Thank God for that. I've got to ring my wife and convince her
not to buy any more cats.
I'll convince her by saying, "Honey, I got scratched by a cat.
"I think I might have a cat infection."
If my cat-infected blood gets infected by another cat,
could be curtains for me.
I've got feline AIDS.
I feel like I need to send her a photo of a scratch.
This is beautiful.
"I just got bitten by a stray cat.
"Now I don't feel great.
"Production is freaking out."
I'm gonna call her.
Come on. Come on.
You've got to answer. Your husband's bleeding to death.
Hi. You've called 042...
All right, all right, all right, all right, all right.
I don't want to worry you, honey.
I don't. I'm not here to worry you, but my arm's starting to blow up.
I've got an issue. They said "contact next of kin".
I'm gonna ring one more time. Just come on.
And if that's...
Hey, I'm in class. Babe.
Are you gonna the doctors or hospital?
I just saw your messages.
I don't know, it's weird. I don't know.
I reckon you wouldn't feel sick straightaway
from something like that.
But I still think you should definitely go get it checked out.
All right. All right, baby.
My husband got bitten by a diseased animal.
So you're gonna go to the doctors or the hospital?
Yeah, they'll sort it out. Yeah. I'll talk to you later. All right, babe.
Everyone wants to hear how you're gonna go.
Yeah, I'll talk to you. Yeah. All right. Thank you.
Sorry, sweetheart. Bye. Bye.
I think I've done pretty well - there. - She took it very seriously.
Are you gonna call her and clarify?
Nah, she'll be right.
You seem pretty happy to let your wife worry from then on, Hughesy.
Yeah. It was... I didn't want any more cats, guys.
I honestly didn't. We had one cat at the time,
so I wanted to keep it that way.
So your wish was to not have any more cats?
Yeah. How many cats do you have now?
I've got three now. So...
So this is becoming rather easy to score, because I feel like
straightaway it's obvious that Hughesy's wish didn't come true.
OK. And also Tommy Little's wish
didn't come true. Could've. Could've.
So I'm gonna give them all one. OK.
I'm gonna give two points to Lisa because it's your fault
that the souffle failed. Emma Holland...
...it kinda came true,
so I'll give her two points. OK.
But it definitely came true for Waka.
So five points!
Yes!
So one, one, two, two, five for - Waka. - OK.
OK. It's time to take the TV version of a sleep and go to a break.
Have some little sweet dreams and we'll see you in the morrow.
Welcome back to Taskmaster,
where we just donated all the coins from our wishing well
to Tom Cashman's charity of choice,
Nerds Against Wedgies.
This next one has smoke, so you know it's fire.
Hey, mmmmmmmatey boy.
Hi, Dave.
I have no idea what this is.
Is this a smoke machine? Yeah.
As opposed to you, a smokeshow.
I find this space really - creepy. - Oh.
I just wanted to tell you that.
"Unveil something unsophisticated with this smoke machine.
"You must emit smoke in 20 minutes.
"And your unveil begins when the smoke clears.
"Most unsophisticated unveiling wins.
"Your time starts now."
Do you consider yourself to be a very sophisticated person?
Nope. No.
I try very hard not to be.
What's the most sophisticated you've ever felt?
I had my hair in a bun once.
Yeah, that was a pretty good day.
I'm trying really hard to think of something
that just doesn't involve
bums, farts, boobs, dicks. Yes.
I think I'm gonna build something really ugly.
My rig is not in great shape.
It's too sophisticated.
But yours looks savage.
I reckon you could be nude eating a kebab.
I'll be back. Well, no, you'll be back.
It'll come, I don't know. We'll find out.
So, Tommy, what about Lesser Tom's rig makes you think
"unsophisticated"?
Um, a fair bit about it.
Um, we actually had quite an honest conversation,
and Tom looked me in the eyes and he said, "Out of the two of us,
"I have the comedy body."
OK, well, who's smoking up first?
Attempting to be unsophisticated,
it's two of the most polite people I've ever met,
Emma and Lisa.
I'm so sorry.
I just have to go.
That is so bad.
Voila.
Did you like it?
I'm really sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry to you, Tom.
I'm sorry to Tom.
I'm sorry I couldn't make it go any higher.
This is a chicken. And he's...
He's using the cutlery in the wrong hands.
And he's got a really big dong.
And I reckon that's pretty unsophisticated.
I was trying to make the Taskmaster have an erection,
because I thought it was really unsophisticated.
Thanks, Emma. Can I go?
OK, thanks, Tom.
Can I go now, please? Yep.
I'm so embarrassed.
Oh, my God.
Oh.
The displeasure that it brought you, Lisa,
brought a lot of pleasure to me.
I'm so glad.
I mean, I didn't want to be disrespectful to you,
and I didn't want to go that way.
I didn't want to go to the Tommy Little way.
I think a lot of people would be offended
by what you just said.
But I don't want you to go my way either.
Well, I can't. I mean this with all my heart.
You're above it.
Emma, I feel like you buried the lede,
because you were worried about...
...your creation having cutlery in the wrong hands...
...which is very unsophisticated, but I feel like it's trumped
by having its cock out.
You know what?
I think it speaks for itself.
It was the last task of a really long day, and I had lost my mind.
OK. All right. Well, onwards. More.
Next up, being discourteous.
It's another one of the most polite people I've ever met
and Dave Hughes. It's Waka and Dave Hughes.
"The most unsophisticated thing in the world."
Salt.
I'm a fish.
I'm a fish, but I don't like being a fish,
because fish is unsophisticated.
Some call it the essence of life,
others call it things bogans put on food before they taste.
I hate being in water. I want to be on the ground.
And I play very sophisticated sports.
Golf.
It is salt.
Golf is boring.
I'm going back to the water.
I've done it. I did it!
Thank you.
So I see what you were going for, Hughesy.
The idea of, like, putting salt on something.
Seasoning food before trying it.
Yes, my wife gets angry at me for doing it.
OK. But I really enjoy it.
So, you know, you've gotta die of something, so let's go.
Now, Waka? Yes.
What the was that?
I just... I've been...
I've been searching and looking and really polite to this point,
but we're at episode four, and I've just gotta be honest,
I don't know what the was going on.
Good question. Yeah.
So first, fish. They don't have technology.
They don't have language. You know, fish is less than human, you know.
Oh, so in terms of evolution. Yeah.
And also, I don't know what's it called.
A trike? I used it.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
So that's an unsophisticated mode of transport.
Compared to other... cars or trains, you know.
Yeah. OK. Good.
See? That's true.
See?
I'm not sure that's the laughter of agreement.
I think that's the laughter of bamboozlement.
I know.
All right, time for an ad break.
Why not do the sophisticated thing and just sit there watching them,
acknowledging the time and the effort that some advertising schmuck
put into trying to coax money from you? Back soon!
Welcome back to Taskmaster, where our female contestants
have just debased themselves with jokes about dongs.
Yes, we're doing a task that asks for an unsophisticated unveiling
with a smoke machine.
Being unsophisticated should be a real stretch for him.
Last up, it's smokeshow Tommy Little.
It's real good. Keep going.
That's probably enough? Yeah.
OK. Thanks, Tom.
OK. Um, first question I have to ask is about your underpants.
Were they medical?
Tommy wanted me to look nude
and so dressed me in skin-coloured underpants
so they could blur it, but then just didn't blur it.
Sorry, to be clear, I didn't mean to stitch you up like that.
I was as shocked as you were at no blur.
It did make it look like you were just wearing a Depends.
Oh, God. OK, well, I have to score this.
Yes. No one ever thinks about
what it's like to be a Taskmaster
when you have to deal with all this shit.
That's true.
OK, well, I feel like all the unveilings were kind of the same.
They all just emerged from the smoke in pretty much the same way.
So it really just comes down to the sophistication.
OK.The most unsophisticated, I think...
Well, I think it was you.
I mean, you, nude, eating a kebab.
I just don't want to see that ever again.
So I think it's five to Tommy Little.
OK.
Thank you.
And then starting at the other end, out of all of them,
it's the most sophisticated,
and that's just watching Hughesy eat some salt.
OK. Ooh. That's harsh.
So I'm one, am I? Yeah. You're one.
Yeah, well, it's your show, so whatever.
OK. Two for Waka, three for Emma and four for Lisa.
Because I feel like they had similar vibes there,
two unsophisticated reveals.
But I felt more menaced... My erection was better, I felt.
Well, yeah, I...
Well, I felt... I was... I was going for flaccid.
I just want to make that quite clear.
So was I.
Yeah. So I'm giving four points to Lisa
because I felt personally targeted.
So I felt like my feelings were hurt.
So I want to reward that.
OK. So that's one point for Dave, two for Waka, three for Emma,
four for Lisa and five points for Tommy Little.
And in terms of the overall episode, there's only four points separating
the top four, with Tommy out in front with 13 points.
Oh!
All right, everyone, up to the stage for the final task of the show!
All right, Lesser Tom, you're my man on the ground up there.
What's going on? Lisa is about to read a task.
OK. "Land a sandbag on the scoreboard.
"Then say a word with the number of letters
"equal to your landed score."
OK.
"Your word must begin with your randomly assigned letter.
"If you fail to say a correct word within three seconds of landing,
"you will get zero points for that round.
"There will be three rounds. Most points wins."
All right. This is good. Come - on. - Oh!
You're first, Lisa. OK.
F.
Need a word. F...
'Follow'! That's correct.
Waka.
L.
'Letter'.
That's correct.
Emma, please step up to the mat.
C.
Uh, 'cataract'?
That is incorrect. It has eight letters.
Oh. Come on, Tommy.
Tommy.
F.
It's a six.
'Follow'.
That is correct.
Dave, please step up to the mat.
H.
12!
'Hermaphrodite'.
This'd be huge. This'd be huge. It's gotta be close.
'Hermaphrodite' has 13 characters.
Oh!
That's... hurtful.
On to the second round. Lisa. OK.
E.
'Elate'. That's incorrect.
No! This is hard.
Waka.
F.
Seven. 'Flexible'.
That's incorrect.
That's eight characters. Oh!
Good effort.
Emma, are you ready? C.
You've landed on the arrow.
You get zero points.
Tommy, are you ready?
H.
Seven.
'Heavenly'.
That's incorrect. Damn!
That's eight letters.
Dave, please stand on the mat. A.
That's ten characters.
'Anachronism'.
That's incorrect. Oh! How many?
11 letters.
So close. What's 'anachronism'?
Oh, it's...
Oh, I don't really know.
All right, well, if my random letter was B, then the number
would be five, and my word would be 'break',
because we're about to have one.
See you in a bit.
Welcome back to Taskmaster.
No need for me to chew your ear off.
Tom Cashman, can you set the stage?
We're down to the final round, and the devil is at play,
because Dave and Emma are on zero,
but Lisa, Tommy and Waka are all on six.
It's six, six, six going into the final round.
It's anyone's game.
Lisa, please step up to the mat.
OK. Y.
Ten letters.
Yellowish.
Incorrect.
That's nine letters.
Oh! Waka. F.
Three letters.
Ffff...
'For'. Correct!
Emma. N.
That's seven characters.
'Neater'.
That's incorrect.
That's six letters.
Tommy, you need four to take the lead.
T.
Four letters.
'Tram'.
Correct.
Dave, Tommy is on ten.
You are on zero. B.
Gone off the end.
Zero points for Dave.
OK, get down here so I can spell out who won.
OK, so how did the scores end up for the live task?
Well, Dave unfortunately overthrew on that last one, so he ended up
with zero points, along with Emma,
then we had Lisa with six points, Waka with nine.
But Tommy won the task with ten points.
So that's two points for Emma and Dave, three for Lisa,
four for Waka and Tommy with five points won the task.
OK, so let's get the final scores for the episode, Cashman.
Well, he won spelling and he's won the episode.
It's 18 points with Tommy!
All right.
Congratulations, Tommy.
Get up there and score yourself a sweet skeleton.
OK, well, what have we learned?
Waka taught us the first rule of the air fryer
is don't talk about the air fryer.
And we learned Lesser Tom's rig is exactly what you'd think
it would be.
Hip, hip hooray for Tommy.
Thanks for watching, and see you on the next one.
Don't you do that!
Welcome back to Taskmaster.
It's our halfway point of the season.
Thomas!
Agh! You great person!
Disqualify them!
Stay in your lane, you snitch.
Are you silencing a woman? Yes.