1 00:00:02,160 --> 00:00:04,600 That's a shocking start. 2 00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:05,640 Stop! 3 00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:08,160 (SCREAMS) 4 00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:09,200 Whoo! 5 00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:12,560 (TASKMASTER THEME MUSIC) 6 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:13,880 Yep. That's it. 7 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:16,040 Where's Tom!? (VOICE ECHOES) 8 00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:18,760 (STRAINS) 9 00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:23,120 (ALL SCREAM) 10 00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:24,240 No! 11 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:25,280 I hate you. 12 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:29,040 Let me out of here! 13 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:31,720 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 14 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:34,720 (TYPEWRITER CLACKS) 15 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:36,200 (DING!) 16 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:40,480 Hello, and welcome to Taskmaster. 17 00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:43,560 It's the wordy bit at the beginning of the show where I can say 18 00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:46,600 whatever the hell I want, because most of you still haven't unmuted it 19 00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:47,720 from the ads yet. 20 00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:50,880 And that's why I'd like to say that I endorse the consumption 21 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:56,000 of breast milk well into teenagehood, maybe even adulthood. 22 00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:57,280 Let's start the show. 23 00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:59,320 Jockeying for my golden head trophy, 24 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:01,840 which previous winners have described as 25 00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:04,080 "a burden on baggage allowance", 26 00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:05,480 it's Dave Hughes! 27 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:07,520 (APPLAUSE) 28 00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:08,920 Emma Holland. 29 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:10,880 Lisa McCune. 30 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:14,200 Takashi Wakasugi. 31 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:15,480 And Tommy Little. 32 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:17,440 Hello! 33 00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:21,480 And next to me, it's the guy who told me he thinks that him 34 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:23,600 and Duke Nukem would be boys. 35 00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:26,400 It's Tom Cashman. 36 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:30,280 (APPLAUSE) 37 00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:32,000 Let's have a prize task, please. 38 00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:33,960 That's right. Our first task is a prize task. 39 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,480 Each of our contestants have brought in a prize, and the winner 40 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:39,360 of tonight's episode will take home all five of those prizes. 41 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:41,400 Tonight, our contestants have been asked to bring in 42 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:44,800 what they consider to be the most frustrating thing to be left 43 00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:46,240 on a desert island with. 44 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:48,000 All right, Emma, what have you got? 45 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:50,040 Uh, a train replacement bus. 46 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:55,720 (LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE) 47 00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:59,160 So, train replacement bus. You're on a desert island and there's that. 48 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:03,080 Yeah. Imagine you're, like, hungry, like, starving, thirsty, angry. 49 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:04,640 Like, what is going to make that situation 50 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:07,000 even more frustrating is... 51 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:10,360 OK. So it could have also just been a bus. 52 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:12,000 No, but it's replacing the train. 53 00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:13,040 Oh, OK. 54 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:17,440 But there is no train, because you're on a desert island. 55 00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:20,000 Exactly. That's why the bus is there. 56 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:24,360 (APPLAUSE) 57 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:25,600 All right. Tommy. 58 00:02:25,640 --> 00:02:27,280 It's my gym membership. 59 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:32,560 Because I think if all I had was that, I'd not only be trapped 60 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:37,480 on a desert island, but every week I'd go, "Well, that's another ¤21." 61 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:41,400 So you're just upset at the inefficiency 62 00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:42,880 and how it's affecting your budget. 63 00:02:42,920 --> 00:02:45,800 But also, I can't do literally anything with it. 64 00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:47,800 Like, I've got a fob... Yeah. 65 00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:52,240 ..that gives me access to over 100 locations around Australia, 66 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:54,480 and I'm nowhere near any of it. 67 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:56,600 OK, it is pretty frustrating, 68 00:02:56,640 --> 00:02:58,800 because you could use a replacement bus as shelter. 69 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:01,520 Or you could also use it as a bus. 70 00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:04,240 I don't even know why we have to use the bus 71 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:05,840 as other things at this point. 72 00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:07,680 Have you tried to get shelter under a fob? 73 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:08,840 No, but Tommy. 74 00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:11,960 Tommy, you could shove that up your arse quite easily. 75 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:13,840 You could. 76 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:17,560 How dare you think I haven't already? 77 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:20,840 Uh, Waka, what about you? 78 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:23,080 I brought the toilet. 79 00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:26,360 Not toilet. The aeroplane toilet. 80 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:31,320 So you crash in a desert island, aeroplane, and you find a toilet. 81 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,560 And it is good. You know, you can use the toilet, 82 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:35,400 but...aeroplane toilet. Yep. 83 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:38,000 You have to listen, the noise. 84 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:39,040 Oh. 85 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:44,400 (TOILET FLUSHES LOUDLY) 86 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:47,880 That's frustration. 87 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:49,280 Do you think? 88 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:51,200 To be honest, the noise hasn't really bothered me. 89 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:53,200 You particularly don't like the noise? 90 00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:55,280 Too strong, do you think? 91 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:57,960 But that sound is only 'cause of the vacuum effect 92 00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:59,200 from being at high altitude. 93 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,680 If it's just on a desert island, it will make no noise at all. 94 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:03,720 It'll just go like this. 'Ba-bup'. 95 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:05,440 So you don't have to worry. 96 00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:10,120 That's another frustration, because maybe I might miss the noise. 97 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:15,120 All right. OK, Dave. Yes. 98 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:20,280 My object of frustration is a video camera, which I purchased 99 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:23,640 about 15 years ago, and I never worked out how to use it, 100 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:27,800 so I thought I'd bring it in and... Yeah, so that's why it's here. 101 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:30,360 So... (LAUGHS) 102 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:32,040 But you haven't worked out how to use it. 103 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:33,160 And I reckon the reason why 104 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:35,120 is because you haven't had enough spare time, 105 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:36,720 because you're so busy with your job. Yeah. 106 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:39,000 You're on a desert island. You've got all the time in the world. 107 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:40,960 I reckon you'd have plenty of time to work it out. 108 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,600 I know. Which would not be frustrating. 109 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:43,800 It'd be satisfying. 110 00:04:43,840 --> 00:04:45,120 Yeah, but I wouldn't have electricity. 111 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,280 So, uh... 112 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:47,680 It's got a battery. 113 00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:53,560 Yeah, but I would have forgotten to charge it before I came 114 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:55,000 to the island. 115 00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:56,160 So, Lisa, what... 116 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:59,880 What would you be frustrated at being left on a desert island with? 117 00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:03,200 A book with very, very small print. 118 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:05,440 I now need glasses to read books. 119 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:09,320 And I figured without my glasses, I'd have a book, I'd have time, 120 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:11,840 and I wouldn't be able to read it. That's very frustrating. 121 00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:13,080 Really frustrating. 122 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:16,840 See, what I'm seeing is 150 pages of kindling. 123 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:19,760 Yeah. Yeah. Or toilet paper. 124 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:21,400 Lisa, I don't wanna ask too personal a question, 125 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:23,480 but wouldn't you just go in the water? 126 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:25,200 What? Oh, no. All the time? 127 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:27,000 You know, like, if you're fishing there 128 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:28,480 and you see your floater go p... 129 00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:30,280 I mean, there's so many issues with that. 130 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:33,320 Yeah, but also, if someone rocks up and they find 131 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:35,160 Treasure Island pages covered in shit, 132 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:36,680 that's not a great look either. 133 00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:38,360 But you're not going to leave it lying around. 134 00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:39,880 You'd bury it. Where would you put it? 135 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:42,000 It's where the treasure comes in. 136 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:47,800 All right, well, I'd better hand out some scores. 137 00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:50,240 Uh, well, I think one has to go to Emma straight away 138 00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:52,480 because you've got a whole replacement bus on the island. 139 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:53,960 You can drive it, as Tommy pointed out, 140 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,480 or you could sort of sleep in it. 141 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:57,960 Then I'm going to say two points to Waka for the toilet, 142 00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,640 because again, it can still be useful, 143 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:01,960 and he's not going to be annoyed by that 'khh!' noise. 144 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:05,800 Then I'll go three points to Lisa, because it's very frustrating 145 00:06:05,840 --> 00:06:07,680 not to be able to read the book, but still, 146 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:08,960 the pages can have other uses. 147 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:12,240 A flat video camera is very useless. Four points to Hughesy. 148 00:06:12,280 --> 00:06:15,040 But a plastic tag that can't be used for anything at all. 149 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:16,440 Extremely frustrating. 150 00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:18,680 So five points to Tommy Little. 151 00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:26,800 OK, cobber, frustrate me with a recorded task, please. 152 00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:29,480 This next task I didn't like at the start, but then I did like it. 153 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:31,760 But then I didn't like it again at the end. 154 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:38,160 (HEART BEATING) 155 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,160 (HEART THUDS) 156 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:47,680 So scared always. 157 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:49,760 Hi, Tom. Hi, Emma. 158 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:51,360 Oh, it's so nice in here. 159 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:54,000 What's this? It's a ball. Yellow ball. 160 00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:58,320 OK. Can I open the task? 161 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:00,320 Yes, please. All right. 162 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:04,080 "Stress out Tom. 163 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:05,800 "You have seven minutes. 164 00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:08,240 "Your time starts now." 165 00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:12,720 (LAUGHS) 166 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:19,840 EMMA: Is this stressful? 167 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:20,880 Kind of. 168 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:25,280 Argh! 169 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:28,240 No. 170 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:29,680 I think you're too heavy. 171 00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:32,240 I think we're going to have to start waxing your ears. 172 00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:33,600 This is what we need. 173 00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:35,400 Oh, you've got a pocket knife. 174 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:39,040 Now, the lake is in front of you, so you just go slow. 175 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:40,600 Yep. That's it. 176 00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:46,120 (BOTH LAUGH) 177 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:47,200 Together. 178 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:49,880 You're not stressed. 179 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:51,320 I'm not sure exactly how I feel. 180 00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:52,680 How long do I have? 181 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:54,080 Three minutes and ten minutes remaining. 182 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:56,000 All right, go for a run. Go for a run. 183 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:57,040 Thomas! 184 00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:00,400 (TOM GASPS) 185 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:01,960 Ohhh! 186 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:03,280 Oh, sh... 187 00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:04,760 I have one more plan. 188 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:05,800 OK. 189 00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:08,840 (GURGLES) 190 00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:15,800 I'm holding, Tom. 191 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:17,120 Do you trust me? 192 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:18,360 Um, kind of. 193 00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:20,640 On the count of five. One, two... 194 00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:21,720 Ooh! 195 00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:23,280 It's quite substantial. 196 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:24,800 LISA: You ready? 197 00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:26,360 No. What? OK. 198 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:27,400 And... 199 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:31,360 Oh, my goodness. So that was the idea. 200 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:33,320 This is like GTA IV. OK, ready? 201 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:35,080 I'm stressed now. You're stressed. 202 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:38,120 And also I run out my ideas. 203 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:40,840 OK, so we just keep doing. OK. 204 00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:43,280 36 seconds. I'm gonna key your car. 205 00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:44,880 It's not my car. It's a hire car. 206 00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:46,400 I'm gonna key the hire car. 207 00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:47,440 Oh, no. 208 00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:50,400 (LAUGHS) God! 209 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:52,320 Are you OK? I'm OK. 210 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:54,120 I went from tickling to waterboarding. 211 00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:57,480 Are you feeling at all stressed? Kind of confused. 212 00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:58,960 OK. Drive again. 213 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:01,440 Hello? 214 00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:02,480 Time's up. (BLOWS WHISTLE) 215 00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:06,080 (BLOWS WHISTLE) 216 00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:07,600 Oh, God. 217 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:08,920 Oh, don't do that. 218 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:12,040 "Relax Tom." 219 00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:14,840 "Tom's heart rate is being measured. 220 00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:19,320 "Biggest difference between stressed and relaxed Tom wins. 221 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:21,960 "You have seven minutes. 222 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,760 "Your time starts now." 223 00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:27,400 (APPLAUSE) 224 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:32,200 OK, so, Tommy, I thought the job was to stress him out, 225 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:33,440 not to arouse him. 226 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:39,080 I think tickling is the most stressful. 227 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,200 Because you can't hit the person, 228 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:41,920 because it's seen as a joyous activity. 229 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:43,160 Yeah. And so you've gotta... 230 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:46,120 ..you're laughing, but you're actually choking to get air in. 231 00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:51,440 And when I then moved to waterboarding, I noticed, Cashman, 232 00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:53,400 you were actually a lot more comfortable because you knew 233 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:55,280 where my hands were, and they were out of... 234 00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:57,320 ..they were out of tickling distance. 235 00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:00,520 When I started getting waterboarded, my heart rate was 69 bpm 236 00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:02,320 and by the end, 61. 237 00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:11,240 Tommy's tickling got me to 104 bpm. 238 00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:13,200 Oh! 239 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:15,920 All right, so, Lisa, you were thinking it was gonna stress him out 240 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:18,520 if he had to drive without being able to see where he could go. 241 00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:21,000 Yeah. Originally I wanted to be on the roof, but I wasn't allowed 242 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:23,240 on the roof, because I thought that would add danger, 243 00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:26,080 and that was a little bit too much for my safety. 244 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:29,280 My peak heart rate during Lisa's was when you were arguing 245 00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:30,600 with the director. 246 00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:33,880 Are you serious? 247 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:37,960 Lisa was adamant that she get on the roof, and the director 248 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:41,240 and a producer were trying to say no. 249 00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:42,760 Yeah. And during that kind of tension 250 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:45,640 of not knowing, my heart rate got to 100 bpm. 251 00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:51,040 Emma, you just...it was like you were trying to incite fight or flight. 252 00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:52,080 You just chased him. Yeah. 253 00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:54,560 It was...it was such a natural instinct on my part. 254 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:56,720 You gave me an opportunity to chase him with a baseball bat, 255 00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:57,760 and I took it. 256 00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:00,280 Well, what did it do to your bpm? 257 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:02,800 Emma got me to 140 bpm. 258 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:06,840 Genius. 259 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:08,920 So Dave got me to 85 bpm. 260 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:10,280 Lisa got me to 100. 261 00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:11,840 Tommy got me to 104. 262 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:15,360 Waka got me to 105. And Emma got me to 140 bpm. 263 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:21,080 OK, time for a quick ad break here. 264 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:23,920 We're not going to do much other than tickle Lesser Tom. 265 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:25,160 No, no, no! 266 00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:38,200 (APPLAUSE) 267 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:40,400 Hello. Welcome back to Taskmaster. 268 00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:42,160 It's our halfway point of the season. 269 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:44,200 That's right. And our contestants have just been trying 270 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:45,240 to stress me out. 271 00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:46,960 Little did they know, my heartbeat was being measured, 272 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:48,720 and now they have to try to relax me. 273 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:50,680 Biggest drop in my heart rate wins. 274 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:52,120 Let's see how much they can lower it. 275 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:54,400 Our contestants face the ultimate challenge - 276 00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:56,560 trying to get me to relax. 277 00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:58,480 I think we need to get you lying down. 278 00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:00,880 OK. Wanna jump up and take a seat here? 279 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:02,160 OK. 280 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:04,640 Please, lay down. Oh. Thank you. 281 00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:06,920 You just relax in the sunshine. 282 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:09,240 We've worked some stuff out with your hair and that's... 283 00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:11,320 You know what? The thing about that, it's fixable, Tom. 284 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:13,440 Mm. But what I'm saying, 285 00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:17,040 I really want to get that nose hair now. 286 00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:22,720 You walk in to the rental car office, calm, knowing that the car is fine. 287 00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:24,360 No. It's OK. I'm not gonna tickle. 288 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:26,600 I promise I'm not. Just loose... 289 00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:29,680 Sorry about that. 290 00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:30,760 About what? 291 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:32,560 Make you stress. 292 00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:34,720 Oh. Now you're free. 293 00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:36,400 I know that this might increase your heart rate, 294 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:38,520 and that's poor by me, but I'm going to do it. 295 00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:41,520 I can feel it. 296 00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:43,520 A woman speaks to you at the front desk. 297 00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:48,280 She hands you over a fully working iPad to rate your experience. 298 00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:51,280 There's no apps on there except the one you need. 299 00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:52,760 No apps? Do you want apps on there? 300 00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:56,280 Yeah. There's Temple Run on the iPad. 301 00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:57,680 I'll be someone else. Hang on. OK. 302 00:12:57,720 --> 00:12:59,120 Hang on, hang on. 303 00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:01,600 (HIGH-PITCHED) Hello. (LAUGHS) Oh, who's that? 304 00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:04,440 Um... Lady Fingers. 305 00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:07,400 Is it your first time here, big boy? Yes, it is. 306 00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:09,960 Raindrops. Beautiful. 307 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:11,680 You've got lovely skin, Tom. 308 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:13,160 Oh, thank you. It's very nice. 309 00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:14,680 Very relax, isn't it? 310 00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:16,400 Uh... Ooh! 311 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:17,920 It's a bit ticklish. 312 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:19,760 You're so sensitive. (LAUGHS) 313 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,440 On the count of five. 314 00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:23,080 Mm! 315 00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:26,480 That's not good for the heart, is it? 316 00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:34,800 (BREATHY VOICE) You said your heart was racing 317 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:37,680 because you'd just been waterboarded and tickled. 318 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:41,080 So let's just forcibly slow that down. 319 00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:42,880 Are you feeling a little bit relaxed? 320 00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:45,840 Like... I think I'm a bit uncomfortable. 321 00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:47,560 Oh, no. That's no good. No. 322 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,640 I can see your heartbeat. 323 00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:51,360 Do you think? It's hard to see you. 324 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,200 The sun's kind of directly in my eyes. 325 00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:55,280 That's stress again. Sorry about that. 326 00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:58,480 That's actually quite helpful. Oh. 327 00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:00,560 All right. Don't move, don't move. OK. 328 00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:02,880 You look so stressed again.(LAUGHS) 329 00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:06,600 We need to work on your personal grooming. 330 00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:07,680 It's too late for me. 331 00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:09,560 Yep. My horse has bolted. 332 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,360 (UNSETTLING ENGLISH ACCENT) And you know, I give happy endings, 333 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:13,120 and there's nothing more happy than... 334 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:14,200 ..a little tickle! 335 00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:17,040 A little tickle! A little tickly! A little tickly! 336 00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:18,080 (BLOWS WHISTLE) 337 00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:19,760 Is that it? Mm-hm. 338 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:21,920 Have a nice nap? It's quite an... 339 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:23,440 ..uncomfortable position actually. 340 00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:25,120 Well, you could have told me that. 341 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:32,760 I felt like a lot of you started well, 342 00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:34,960 and then you sabotaged yourselves a little bit. 343 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:38,600 Like, Waka, you were getting Lesser Tom to be very relaxed. 344 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:40,320 Yep. But then you started to massage him 345 00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:42,840 and it kind of made it worse. Massage is good. Relax. 346 00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:44,920 But he just... 347 00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:49,080 You called me sensitive. I think the correct word is 'traumatised'. 348 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:53,840 So, Hughesy, you used that well-known relaxing technique of holding pliers 349 00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:55,480 very close to someone's face. 350 00:14:55,520 --> 00:15:00,400 Yeah, I lost focus on the task at hand and was more focussed 351 00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:01,840 on making you a better person. 352 00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:05,680 So. And I really gripped hard on those nose hairs and they came out 353 00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:07,160 and it was satisfying for me. 354 00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:08,840 Was it satisfying for you? 355 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:10,480 Satisfying? Yeah. 356 00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:13,880 Like, we all know, when you pull a nose hair out, it hurts 357 00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:17,680 and your eyes water, but afterwards there's an, "Aahhhh." 358 00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:20,120 I felt that the first two. 359 00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:21,960 So Emma, what was your approach? 360 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,040 I think it was like a meditation. 361 00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:26,200 It was a meditation, but also a bit of a role play. 362 00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:28,920 Oh, I'd prefer if you didn't call it that. 363 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:33,280 Well, actually, I think you hit upon something 364 00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:36,440 that was very effective that no one else thought up. 365 00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:39,320 You left him alone. That's right, I did. 366 00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:42,040 I think I asked you at one point, "Would it be better if I left?" 367 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:43,560 and you said yes. 368 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:45,880 OK, well, I feel like we need to find out your heart rate. 369 00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:48,440 That's right. And I'm going to give you the difference 370 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:50,600 between the stress and the relaxed times. 371 00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:53,000 Dave's reduction was 19 bpm. 372 00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:56,360 Unsurprising, seeing he just kept pulling hairs out of my head. 373 00:15:56,400 --> 00:16:00,600 Tommy, aka Lady Fingers, got my heart rate down 29 bpm. 374 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:03,720 Lisa reduced it 31 with her unsettling massage. 375 00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:07,280 Waka's reduction was 41 bpm, but Emma, with her genius method 376 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:11,080 of just leaving me be reduced it 63 beats per minute. 377 00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:16,600 So that means one point goes to Dave, 378 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:18,800 two to Tommy, three to Lisa, four to Waka. 379 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:21,720 But Emma wins the task with five points. 380 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,480 I'll also give you an idea of the episode scores. 381 00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:30,680 It's incredibly tight, but Tommy is in the lead with seven points. 382 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:34,320 And what about our series score as we near the halfway point 383 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:35,400 of our season? 384 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:39,120 Well, we've got Dave and Lisa at the back on 54 points apiece, 385 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:42,280 but Emma is in the lead with 73 points at the moment. 386 00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:48,000 OK, give us another one, Snookie Bear. 387 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:50,720 We're going back to a time when puberty was all the rage. 388 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,680 (DRAMATIC CLASSICAL MUSIC) 389 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:56,680 (TASKMASTER THEME MUSIC) 390 00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:05,400 Hi, Tom. Hi, Lisa. 391 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:06,800 There's an iPod here. 392 00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:08,160 It's a bit old, iPod. 393 00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:09,720 Ooh, iPod. 394 00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:11,920 I'm familiar with what's in front of me. 395 00:17:12,360 --> 00:17:16,360 (TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYS THROUGH SPEAKERS) 396 00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:18,720 This is the piece of technology which lied to us 397 00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:20,560 more than anything else in history. 398 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:23,640 It claimed to have something called anti-skip technology, 399 00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:25,360 and it did not work. 400 00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:29,360 And you had to sit, if you were on public transport, and you yourself 401 00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:31,640 had to be the gyroscope. 402 00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:32,920 I have two questions to ask you. 403 00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:35,360 What was your favourite slang word when you were 13? 404 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:36,680 'Grouse'. 405 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:37,960 Probably 'cool'. 406 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,000 'Chillax'. 'Wazzup!?' 407 00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:41,120 KY. 408 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:44,040 It means 'you cannot read air'. 409 00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:46,760 What was your favourite musical genre when you were 13 years old? 410 00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:48,600 Music theatre and Spandau Ballet. 411 00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:51,400 Simon and Garfunkel. Folk rock. Hip-hop. 412 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:52,960 Rock and roll, indie rock. 413 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,880 Nu-metal and Linkin Park. 414 00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:56,600 Don't do this to me. 415 00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:58,760 Yeah. OK. Yep. 416 00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:03,400 "Write a song for your 13 year old self. 417 00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:07,560 "Your song must incorporate your just-stated slang word. 418 00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:08,840 "And musical genre. 419 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:13,320 "Song that reveals most about your 13 year old self wins. 420 00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:15,120 "You have 45 minutes. 421 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:17,600 "Your time starts now." 422 00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:19,120 What were you like when you were 13? 423 00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:22,040 That was kind of like discovering boys. 424 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:23,360 I was the school captain. 425 00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:25,160 Now I think about it, 426 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:27,160 I may have been a narcissist. 427 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:30,840 I was pimply and awkward and greasy. 428 00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:34,360 Every night my mom would give me pud, which never failed 429 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,200 to improve my mood. 430 00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:40,320 Drums can be anything. This is the most lowest... 431 00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:41,880 Drums are the worst instrument? Yeah. 432 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:44,280 Are you aware that the Taskmaster plays drums? 433 00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:45,320 Tom Gleeson? 434 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:49,920 Sorry about that. 435 00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:52,280 (APPLAUSE) 436 00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:57,920 So we've got to get to the bottom of it, Waka. "KY"? 437 00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:00,320 K means 'kuuki'. 'Kuuki' means 'air'. 438 00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:03,160 And Y is 'yomenai'. It means 'cannot read'. 439 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:05,200 Cannot read air or a situation. 440 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:07,800 So, like, 'can't read the room'? Yes. Yeah. 441 00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:10,640 Oh, so someone just walks into a room, pisses everyone off... 442 00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:12,360 Yeah. He's KY. Oblivious. 443 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:13,920 So, like Josh Thomas? 444 00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:19,320 Maybe. Well, yeah. 445 00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:22,320 I just wanted to help people at home understand. 446 00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:26,840 I love that he's not here, and he's still your least favourite. 447 00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:29,920 All right. It's always exciting to see if we've got any musical talent 448 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,280 amongst our bunch. 449 00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:33,160 Any early hints, Lesser Tom? 450 00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:35,320 Um, I couldn't possibly say. 451 00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:37,280 First up, we're going back to 2008, 452 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:40,320 singing about what's up in the genre of nu-metal. 453 00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:41,560 It's Emma Holland. 454 00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:43,120 I don't want to watch this. 455 00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:49,200 (NU-METAL ROCK INTRO) 456 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:51,480 # I was 13 in 2008 457 00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:54,160 # And my parents enrolled me in an equestrian course 458 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:55,560 # I didn't really like it 459 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:58,720 # And every girl there eventually got kicked by a horse. 460 00:19:58,760 --> 00:19:59,760 # Not me, though 461 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:03,160 # I wore Crocs to school every day and I never washed them 462 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:04,480 # And they smelt bad 463 00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:07,600 # So I put spray deodorant in the soles and I thought 464 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,600 # That made me really rad 465 00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:12,160 # I had blue streaks in my hair 466 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:14,760 # Global warming made me scared 467 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:17,240 # I had not hit puberty 468 00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:20,120 # America did not vote for Mitt Romney 469 00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:22,280 # 2008, what a year 470 00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,640 # The Olympics were in Beijing 471 00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:27,480 # So I'd like to say wazzup to those involved 472 00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:30,200 # In the anti-doping operational stings 473 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:32,400 # 2008, what a year 474 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,760 # The Olympics were in Beijing 475 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,360 # And I was too dead inside to watch them 476 00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:40,360 # But I'm sure the results were really thrilling 477 00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:41,400 # Wazzup!? # 478 00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:45,720 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 479 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:52,800 I truly believe there is nothing worse in this world 480 00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:57,320 than being cringe, and I include domestic terrorism in that. 481 00:20:57,360 --> 00:20:59,680 OK. Was that an easy watch, Emma, for you? 482 00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:03,120 That was the hardest moment of my life. 483 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:08,480 So just to be clear, as talented as you seem to be musically, 484 00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:09,800 it doesn't really matter. 485 00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:11,320 What we're looking for is 486 00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:14,280 who reveals the most about their 13 year old self. 487 00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:16,640 Most revealed about your 13 year old self wins. 488 00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:18,280 So we're kind of actually looking for revelations. 489 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:20,240 Just first up - 2008. 490 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,680 Mitt Romney didn't win because he wasn't on the ticket. 491 00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:24,320 I know, I know. I realised... 492 00:21:24,360 --> 00:21:26,520 It was Barack Obama versus John McCain. 493 00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:29,280 So that wasn't really a revelation. That was a distortion of the truth. 494 00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:31,200 I know. I realised ten minutes after I recorded it. 495 00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:32,600 And I knew you'd bring it up, 496 00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:35,120 and I was going to prepare something to say, and I didn't. 497 00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:39,440 Yeah, a bit like Mitt Romney in the debate. 498 00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:40,760 I need to know more about this. 499 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,720 "Every girl I know was kicked by a horse." 500 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:46,320 Yeah. Every girl I knew at horse riding got kicked at some point. 501 00:21:46,360 --> 00:21:48,440 So what, you're supposed to walk close to the horse 502 00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:49,760 when you walk behind it? Yeah. 503 00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:51,440 And I think they were just being bitches, so... 504 00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:55,520 So everyone you knew got kicked by a horse and deserved it? 505 00:21:57,840 --> 00:21:59,680 Yeah. 506 00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:02,800 All right, so whose singsong are we getting next? 507 00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:06,080 This next fella is about to go a cappella, singing about KY 508 00:22:06,120 --> 00:22:07,200 in the style of indie rock. 509 00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:08,800 It's Takashi Wakasugi. 510 00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:14,720 # Do-ch-do-do-ch-do-do-do-do-do 511 00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:18,160 # Do-ch-do-do-ch-do-do-do-do-do 512 00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,640 # You think you are smart? 513 00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:21,920 # No, no 514 00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:24,760 # You think you are perfect? # No, no 515 00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:27,320 # You think you are popular? 516 00:22:27,360 --> 00:22:28,360 # No, no 517 00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:31,360 # You think you are different? # No, no 518 00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:38,040 # But you grow, hoo-hoo But you change, hoo-hoo 519 00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:43,800 # This world is bigger than you think 520 00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:46,360 # Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch 521 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:47,800 # You are the KY 522 00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:49,360 # You are the KY 523 00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:50,920 # You are the KY 524 00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:52,600 # You don't know 525 00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:54,160 # You are the KY 526 00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:55,720 # You are the KY 527 00:22:55,760 --> 00:23:00,000 # You are the KY You will know 528 00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:05,040 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 529 00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:10,480 So, drums. They're not so easy, are they? 530 00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:11,840 So sorry about that. That's... 531 00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:13,760 I respect you now more, more than anything. 532 00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:16,160 Yeah. I'm very bad at music. 533 00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:18,960 But that was a good song. Do you think? 534 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:22,320 Oh, yeah, I liked it. Well, you definitely got the KY bit in. 535 00:23:22,360 --> 00:23:25,880 Can I ask, do they have K-Y lube in Japan? 536 00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:26,920 No. 537 00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:31,320 Oh, well, that's off Hughesy's holiday list. 538 00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:37,480 OK, so you certainly mentioned KY. 539 00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:39,520 You were being a bit KY deliberately, 540 00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:41,440 but it didn't really reveal that much. 541 00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:43,520 Not heaps. All right, time for an ad break. 542 00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:46,080 Now, don't spend the whole time going on about how great you are 543 00:23:46,120 --> 00:23:47,680 and how good you would've been at the task. 544 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:49,720 There's no need to be all KY about it. 545 00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:50,760 See you soon. 546 00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:03,880 (APPLAUSE) 547 00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:05,560 Hello. Welcome back to the show, 548 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,560 where we've been having a good old fashioned singalong. 549 00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:10,040 That's right, dude. 550 00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:11,080 Um, sorry. 551 00:24:12,120 --> 00:24:14,400 Our contestants have been singing songs that reveal the most 552 00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:15,760 about their 13 year old selves. 553 00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:18,520 So far, we've learnt that Emma has an equine background 554 00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:20,600 and Waka was 13 once. 555 00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:24,760 Next up in the style of the band Spandau Ballet, 556 00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:27,920 from when it was cool to be cool, here's Lisa McCune. 557 00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:34,520 (SLOW '80s BALLAD INTRO, FINGERS CLICKING) 558 00:24:42,360 --> 00:24:45,680 # Chasing butterflies 559 00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:52,160 # And watching clouds go by 560 00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:58,960 # Even though I had a sty, I noticed you 561 00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:03,400 # It was in an outdoor ed that day 562 00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:09,680 # When I looked at you that way 563 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:15,520 # And you sent me off my head 564 00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:17,840 # And this is what I said 565 00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:21,720 # Hold my hand, please 566 00:25:23,120 --> 00:25:28,040 # No need to be a tease 567 00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:34,080 # I'm a fool who's trying to be cool 568 00:25:34,120 --> 00:25:38,480 # Hold my hand, please. # 569 00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:46,800 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 570 00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:49,640 Chasing Butterflies. 571 00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:52,080 It's a beautiful image of a young Lisa McCune, I felt. 572 00:25:52,120 --> 00:25:56,600 I had a really simple, lovely, you know, teenage years. 573 00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:57,920 It was really lovely. 574 00:25:57,960 --> 00:25:59,480 When did you smoke your first cigarette? 575 00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:01,160 15. Ooh. 576 00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:02,840 And was that the same for having a drink? 577 00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:05,920 Oh, I think I probably was about nine, but like... 578 00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:08,840 Only because you could have... Put that in the song. 579 00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:11,800 But also, kids, you want to be successful, 580 00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:13,840 start drinking at nine. 581 00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:16,360 No, but like, not a can of beer or a glass, 582 00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:17,960 but just a sip of something, you know. 583 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:20,240 Did you ever get in a scrag fight? No, no, I didn't. 584 00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:21,720 I didn't, but there used to be... 585 00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:24,080 My house was opposite the park where all the fights were. 586 00:26:24,120 --> 00:26:26,640 So I used to take the injured back to my place, to the laundry 587 00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:28,200 and cleaned them up. Yeah. 588 00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:31,080 And she drove them back when she was 11. 589 00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:34,600 But I must admit, you know, I would like to thank you, 590 00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:36,120 because you've got a background in musical theatre, 591 00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:39,600 so it's just good to relax while watching your clip, 592 00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:43,000 because compared to the others, it was bloody beautiful. 593 00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:44,320 Thanks, Tom. 594 00:26:44,360 --> 00:26:46,080 OK, so let's hear another tune. 595 00:26:46,120 --> 00:26:48,160 Get ready to unrelax, everyone. 596 00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:55,000 Singing about 'grouse' in the style of folk rock is Dave Hughes. 597 00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:59,920 (GENTLE ACOUSTIC GUITAR INTRO) 598 00:26:59,960 --> 00:27:02,840 # I lived in a humble house 599 00:27:04,360 --> 00:27:07,760 # That I didn't think was grouse 600 00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:11,840 # My dad said it was the best place on earth 601 00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:15,960 # But I didn't know the worth 602 00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:21,160 # Every night my mum always made me pud 603 00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:25,640 # It would never fail to improve my mood 604 00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:30,400 # She'd send me to the shops for ciggies and pads 605 00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:34,640 # I'd come back with Jubes and Fads 606 00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:39,600 # At cricket, I just wanted to be the hero 607 00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:43,920 # But I always end up going out for zero 608 00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:47,760 # Walking off, they'd quack like a duck 609 00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:52,360 # I realise I shouldn't have given a (BLEEP) 610 00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:57,760 # 'Cause now I know the duck was golden 611 00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:01,520 # And I know the house was grouse 612 00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:05,160 # The house was grouse. # 613 00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:12,680 Grouse. House. (APPLAUSE) 614 00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:19,640 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 615 00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:25,600 How does it feel to watch that? 616 00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:28,640 Yeah, I'm really proud of that work. 617 00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:33,040 He leaned over to me as it was starting and went, "I got this." 618 00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:38,520 Well, to be fair, it's got nothing to do with musical quality. 619 00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:39,800 It's just about how much you reveal. 620 00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:43,400 And in your comedy, you're constantly revealing so many truths, 621 00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:44,920 intimate truths about yourself. Yep. 622 00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:46,680 So I feel like this was right up your alley. 623 00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:49,440 It was right up my alley. And I grew up in a humble house 624 00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:50,960 which I didn't think was grouse. 625 00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:56,800 But then eventually I realised it was grouse and... I'm gonna cry. 626 00:28:56,840 --> 00:28:58,760 So... So was there a story in there? 627 00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:01,440 Sorry. I tuned out a bit in the middle. 628 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:06,560 How would you describe the mood the pud put you in? 629 00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:09,840 It was a good mood. Ah... 630 00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:13,440 OK, so, I mean, it revealed heaps, which is great. 631 00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:16,040 And 'grouse' got a mention. I mean, it's a pretty good result. 632 00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:17,120 Yeah. OK. 633 00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:19,440 In case someone's still watching... 634 00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:22,000 ..do we have another? 635 00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:25,920 Having a chillax in the genre of hip-hop music, it's Tommy Little. 636 00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:31,160 (HIP-HOP BEAT PLAYS THROUGH HEADPHONES) 637 00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:35,240 # I'm a greasy kid Greasy kid 638 00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:37,800 # I'm a greasy kid Greasy kid 639 00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:40,280 # I'm a greasy kid Just a greasy kid 640 00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:41,920 # I'm a greasy kid 641 00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:45,640 # Pimples on my face and braces in their place 642 00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:48,120 # Hair was greasy, so school wasn't easy 643 00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:50,520 # I'm 13 with no control of my cock 644 00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:53,200 # And next year I'm getting dreadlocks 645 00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:55,480 # Sex! Well, I've had none 646 00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:58,320 # But that doesn't mean that I haven't (BLEEP) 647 00:29:58,360 --> 00:30:00,520 # 'Cause in my pants is where I climax 648 00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:03,200 # Everybody said, "Yo, chillax" 649 00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:05,760 # Sittin' on the bus and you're all alone-r 650 00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:08,440 # All by yourself except for your boner 651 00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:13,000 # I'm a greasy kid with (BLEEP) in his pants 652 00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:15,120 # I'm a greasy kid 653 00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:16,240 # And guess what? 654 00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:19,240 # I'm you 655 00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:22,360 # And you're me 656 00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:26,800 # And I'm out. # 657 00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:31,000 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 658 00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:37,160 Tommy, I feel like you poured a lot of self-loathing into that. 659 00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:40,640 Yeah, I really thought at the end of that, when I did it live, 660 00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:43,600 I'm like, "That was pretty good." 661 00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:46,240 I must say, though, it was good to see you being back on brand again 662 00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:48,800 with the lyrics "Sitting on a bus and you're all alone-r 663 00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:51,240 "All by yourself, except for your boner." 664 00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:55,080 I mean, it's the Tommy we've come to know and love. 665 00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:58,440 I feel like you actually revealed a lot, though. 666 00:30:58,480 --> 00:31:00,760 I was pretty pleased with that. It was a lot of revelation. 667 00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:02,200 I guess I've gotta give out some scores. 668 00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:03,280 Yes. This is big. 669 00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:05,360 Hughesy really wants to know. 670 00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:07,520 Come on. All right, once again, 671 00:31:07,560 --> 00:31:09,200 music doesn't really matter, so I'm going to give... 672 00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:11,680 Well, would've been nice if... Yeah. Anyway. 673 00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:15,040 I agree it would have been nice if people at home 674 00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:17,840 were entertained, but I... 675 00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:22,640 I mean, it would have been helpful just for our careers generally. 676 00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:23,880 Yeah. 677 00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:26,480 I'm gonna give one to Waka, because I didn't really learn much at all. 678 00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:28,320 OK. Two to Lisa McCune. 679 00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:30,560 We did learn that she used to like chasing butterflies. 680 00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:33,680 Three points to Tommy Little because we learned he was a greasy kid 681 00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:35,440 and a few other awkward bits and pieces. 682 00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:37,480 We learnt heaps about Emma. 683 00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:40,120 Four points to Emma. But the most we learned about 684 00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:42,320 in what was arguably the worst song... 685 00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:45,440 ..was Hughesy, with five points! 686 00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:52,040 OK. Time now for an ad break. 687 00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:53,480 Go and have a quick pud. 688 00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:55,440 You never know, it might improve your mood. 689 00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:56,480 Back soon. 690 00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:08,600 (APPLAUSE) 691 00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:10,160 Welcome back to Taskmaster, 692 00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:13,400 where our comedians are playing for an aeroplane toilet, 693 00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:15,880 and if they're lucky enough, the right to never hear 694 00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:18,360 Dave Hughes sing again. 695 00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:21,400 Find a way to segue to another task, please, Lesser Tom. 696 00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:25,120 Um, here's a task that if you had a Segway, you could use it 697 00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:29,760 to ride to the shops and...and buy some mugs. 698 00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:32,560 Which is crazy, because this task is about mugs. 699 00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:38,920 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 700 00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:50,440 Tom-Tom. How are you? 701 00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:51,560 I'm well. 702 00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:53,440 Five. Something. 703 00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:54,640 Four. 704 00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:55,920 Three. 705 00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:57,320 Two. 706 00:32:57,720 --> 00:32:58,840 One. 707 00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:00,400 (LAUGHS) 708 00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:03,800 Ooh! 709 00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:04,840 Careful. 710 00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:08,080 (LAUGHS) Sticky. 711 00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:14,120 "Get the mugs into the bath at the top of the path. 712 00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:16,560 "You may only take 75 steps. 713 00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:18,680 "You must be on the path the whole time. 714 00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:23,320 "Most unbroken mugs gotten into the bath wins. 715 00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:25,360 "You have 13 minutes. 716 00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:28,560 "Your time starts now." 717 00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:33,400 OK. Sounds kind of simple. Yep. 718 00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:36,000 They've just got to get the mugs into the bath. 719 00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:37,080 Most mugs into the bath. 720 00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:38,800 Only unbroken mugs count. 721 00:33:38,840 --> 00:33:41,720 OK. I reckon we just get into some mugs in bath, then. 722 00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:44,120 First up, he's got 'World's Greatest Dad' written on a mug 723 00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:45,920 and 'World's Greatest Mug' written on his dad. 724 00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:48,080 It's Dave Hughes. 725 00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:49,120 Oh, God. 726 00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:53,480 (MUGS CLATTER) 727 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:02,720 (LAUGHS) Right. 728 00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:18,960 That two steps? That's two. Yep. 729 00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:21,320 How far do you reckon I've gone? 730 00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:22,360 (GROANS) 731 00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:33,120 That's not a good start, I reckon. 732 00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:35,200 Is that good? 733 00:34:35,240 --> 00:34:36,960 I've lost almost all of them already. 734 00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:40,480 Mm. And I've gone four metres maybe. 735 00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:45,440 I don't need this anymore, I've just realised. It's a shocking start. 736 00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:51,360 (GRUNTS) 737 00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:53,840 I may tear one of my short hamstrings. 738 00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:55,160 This is easy, man. 739 00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:59,640 Oh, God. I can just go like this, can't I? 740 00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:01,760 And just put him in there. That's right. 741 00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:07,120 (BLOWS WHISTLE) Seven. 742 00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:10,200 Never give up. OK. 743 00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:13,920 (APPLAUSE) 744 00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:19,840 Hughesy, if that task was a song, it would sound like the song 745 00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:21,760 you just did before. 746 00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:25,640 Yeah, but I won that task, so maybe I'll win this one. 747 00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:30,440 Within a minute, Dave had broken 71% of the mugs. 748 00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:34,920 Yeah, I feel like it was a shit effort, followed by a shit quote 749 00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:38,080 which would be put on the side of a shit mug. 750 00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:40,320 One thing you did nail is counting the mugs. 751 00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:42,760 Hughesy transported seven mugs successfully to the bath. 752 00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:45,760 Thank you. Appreciate it. Thank you. 753 00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:47,000 All right. Who's next? 754 00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:50,000 Next leading us down the garden path is Lisa and Tommy. 755 00:35:50,040 --> 00:35:51,800 Oh, yes! 756 00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:57,080 (SIGHS) Oh. 757 00:35:57,120 --> 00:35:58,440 This is so easy, bro. 758 00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:00,000 I'm just gonna tape 'em to myself, Tom. 759 00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:01,480 Oh, OK. Yeah. 760 00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:06,520 This is good. 761 00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:09,880 Whoa! 762 00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:13,440 This is really good, bro. 763 00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:15,880 You know how you do some stuff and you're not that proud? 764 00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:17,880 Mm. This is not one of them. 765 00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:23,280 Time? Eight minutes and 14 seconds. 766 00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:24,680 I'm gonna have to leave this behind. 767 00:36:24,720 --> 00:36:27,800 It's time to start getting really serious. 768 00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:29,360 OK. You ready? 769 00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:30,400 Oh! 770 00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:35,760 Three. Four. 771 00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:37,040 Five. 772 00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:38,080 Six. 773 00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:49,600 Oh, she's breaking up. 774 00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:57,960 I'm the smartest man alive. 775 00:36:58,000 --> 00:36:59,880 Gently. Gently. Gently. 776 00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:03,680 (BLOWS WHISTLE) (APPLAUSE) 777 00:37:03,720 --> 00:37:05,080 Oh, my God! 778 00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:07,000 How do you feel? Like a genius. 779 00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:08,640 I've done something wrong, haven't I? 780 00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:09,840 Like what? 781 00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:11,240 Like, I don't know. 782 00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:13,200 It's the paranoia setting in. 783 00:37:14,240 --> 00:37:17,280 (APPLAUSE) 784 00:37:18,240 --> 00:37:20,120 Oh, Emma. 785 00:37:20,160 --> 00:37:23,160 So, Lisa, you did a great job carrying all those cups and mugs. 786 00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:25,640 Is that because, as an actor, you've had to do a lot of hospo? 787 00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:27,400 No. 788 00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:30,680 I avoided that mostly, which is good, but, um. No... 789 00:37:30,720 --> 00:37:32,120 Yeah. Take that, other actors. 790 00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:36,640 But I'm happy. I was really happy with the outcome of my mugs. 791 00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:39,120 But hang on. You used the mat that you were standing on. 792 00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:40,440 I mean, is that legal? 793 00:37:40,480 --> 00:37:41,840 What? 794 00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:44,840 Dave, don't. That's so unfair. First of all... 795 00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:47,800 Stay in your lane, you (BLEEP) snitch. 796 00:37:47,840 --> 00:37:49,360 Thanks, Tommy. 797 00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:50,440 Snitchy-poo's back. 798 00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:52,800 Oh, mate. The Snitchy-poo. 799 00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:53,880 Is it... Is it legal? 800 00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:56,080 Using the mat was in accordance with the task. 801 00:37:56,120 --> 00:37:58,480 It was also legal. Thank you. 802 00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:01,960 Yeah. So, I mean, I feel like that's not the first time 803 00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:04,200 you've had to strap stuff to yourself. 804 00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:07,800 You were so quick to do it. 805 00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:09,800 I feel like you've done it before. Yeah. 806 00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:13,960 I used to take pints from pubs. Like, if we were leaving the pub 807 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,920 to go to another pub, I used to put a full pint in my pocket. 808 00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:20,040 You could go out without spilling beer all down your jeans. 809 00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:21,080 Yeah. Yeah. 810 00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:23,080 I should explain it to you, Hughesy, because you don't drink. 811 00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:25,480 By that stage, after you've had a few drinks, 812 00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:28,200 you don't give a shit anymore. 813 00:38:28,240 --> 00:38:30,600 If anything, the beer washes the piss away. 814 00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:38,560 Right. So give us the stats. It's perhaps a bit of a testament 815 00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:40,000 to the confidence gap between the genders. 816 00:38:40,040 --> 00:38:42,080 Tommy "the smartest man alive" Little 817 00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:44,160 got 29 mugs successfully in the bath. 818 00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:46,360 Lisa "I've done something wrong, haven't I?" McCune 819 00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:47,680 got 30 out of 30. 820 00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:51,680 There it is. OK. 821 00:38:51,720 --> 00:38:54,440 On the topic of mugs and breaks, keep your eyes fixed on the telly 822 00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:56,800 as we take one. We'll be back shortly. 823 00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:08,400 (APPLAUSE) 824 00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:13,680 Hello. Welcome back to the televisual show formerly known as Taskmaster, 825 00:39:13,720 --> 00:39:16,640 which is still known as Taskmaster. 826 00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:18,920 That's right. Currently, our contestants are trying to get 827 00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:21,760 as many unbroken mugs into the bath along the garden path. 828 00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:24,720 The final two mugging for the camera are Emma and Waka. 829 00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:26,680 And I can use any of these? 830 00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:28,640 If you like. 831 00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:32,600 I need a tape, and I don't know what's that one. 832 00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:33,880 This is one step. 833 00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:37,720 (AUDIENCE GROANS) 834 00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:39,200 What is this? 835 00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:41,360 "Tom's Mug. 836 00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:45,320 "I'll take the steps so you don't have to." 837 00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:46,920 What? 838 00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:50,120 So you can carry my bags to the bath? 839 00:39:50,160 --> 00:39:52,440 If you ask me in the right way. 840 00:39:53,920 --> 00:39:56,600 I'm worried if I use any of that, 841 00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:57,960 something bad's going to happen. 842 00:39:58,000 --> 00:39:59,440 I won't ask you to help. 843 00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:00,480 You won't? No. 844 00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:03,200 OK. With this face, you're lying. 845 00:40:03,240 --> 00:40:05,600 I just...I don't trust this system. 846 00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:10,680 These are going to be heavy. 847 00:40:10,720 --> 00:40:12,120 Wait, wait, wait. 848 00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:13,240 I can use this. 849 00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:18,040 I just put mugs here and walk together. 850 00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:22,040 OK. Where do I start from? Here? 851 00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:23,880 You've already started. I've already started? 852 00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:25,360 Yeah. From where? 853 00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:27,480 Where you were. Like, including up there and back? 854 00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:31,240 Yep. Tom! How many do I have left? 855 00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:32,840 You've taken 23 steps. 856 00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:43,880 There's no way. 857 00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:48,640 Is the bath there? You've got 12 steps left. 858 00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:49,760 Where's the bath? 859 00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:51,000 Five steps remaining. 860 00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:52,840 I'm not going to make it. 861 00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:56,400 Two more. 862 00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:57,640 It's impossible. 863 00:40:57,680 --> 00:40:58,680 One step left. 864 00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:02,120 Now what? 865 00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:04,640 You got six minutes and 10 seconds. To do what? 866 00:41:04,680 --> 00:41:05,680 24 seconds. 867 00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:09,320 I'm so annoyed, because this seemed like such a good technique. 868 00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:10,520 And I've come all this way. 869 00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:13,160 There's just nothing I can really do, is there? 870 00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:18,360 (PANTING) Tom, can you carry the cups to the bath, please? 871 00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:20,120 Oh, please? OK, I'll do it. 10 seconds. 872 00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:21,920 Please, please. 873 00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:23,400 Thank you. 874 00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:27,320 Be careful. Kindly. Gently. (APPLAUSE) 875 00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:32,920 (BLOWS WHISTLE) You did it. 876 00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:36,680 I should trust your poster. 877 00:41:36,720 --> 00:41:38,520 This has made me so sad. 878 00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:40,200 I could have made it, I reckon. 879 00:41:40,240 --> 00:41:43,680 That's... Argh! You are a great person. 880 00:41:43,720 --> 00:41:46,360 I should trust. Thank you. 881 00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:47,480 Bye, Thomas. 882 00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:48,520 Thanks, Emma. 883 00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:50,880 ALL: Awwww. 884 00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:56,800 (APPLAUSE) 885 00:41:57,800 --> 00:41:59,560 Ohhh! 886 00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:06,520 Oh, I can't believe I'm saying this, but Hughesy's was not the worst. 887 00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:10,640 That's unbelievable. I mean, this is fascinating, really. 888 00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:12,200 It all came down to trust. 889 00:42:12,240 --> 00:42:14,880 So you were the only two to pull up the banner. 890 00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:16,320 But also, both of you made the mistake 891 00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:18,160 of just not pulling the poster up all the way 892 00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:19,800 so you could read the part at the bottom. 893 00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:21,600 I just saw his face. I didn't wanna, you know. 894 00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:25,760 OK. But then when you did ask him to help, you were just polite, 895 00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:27,920 and that was just luck. There's no steps there. 896 00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:30,960 So like, I can't do anything, and I just ask him. 897 00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:33,720 Yeah, so are you saying that when you got to the end of your steps 898 00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:37,280 and you had nothing to lose, you thought you might as well just ask. 899 00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:38,560 Yeah. Whereas Emma... 900 00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:39,600 What the (BLEEP)? 901 00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:47,440 Emma stood there for the whole six minutes. 902 00:42:47,480 --> 00:42:49,760 I'm watching that back, and I'm like, oh, that... 903 00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:53,440 ..that poor girl is really, really stupid. 904 00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:57,160 OK, so...but it all just comes down to the number of mugs. 905 00:42:57,200 --> 00:43:00,920 That's right. Waka managed 11 mugs due to his last minute politeness. 906 00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:04,560 Emma, like the world's shittiest dad, zero mugs. 907 00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:07,880 That means Emma gets one point, Dave gets two, Waka gets three, 908 00:43:07,920 --> 00:43:10,160 Tommy gets four, but Lisa wins the task with five points! 909 00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:13,320 Oh, my God, I got one! Yes! OK. 910 00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:16,720 In terms of scores for the episode, it's a tight one, 911 00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:18,280 with Waka at the bottom on ten points. 912 00:43:18,320 --> 00:43:21,800 Tommy only four ahead, in the lead currently on 14 points. 913 00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:27,440 OK, take those mugs and the rest of your persons 914 00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:30,600 up onto the stage for the final task of the show. 915 00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:36,400 All right. Teams are back. 916 00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:39,120 So we've got the age team and the better team. 917 00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:42,960 Who's reading the task, Cashboy? Team of three, aka the better team. 918 00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:48,680 "Ride for exactly 111m while sketching a sketchy sketch. 919 00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:51,440 "One of your team-mates must be riding. 920 00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:53,280 "All others must be sketching. 921 00:43:53,320 --> 00:43:56,760 "You may only sketch whilst pedals are in motion. 922 00:43:56,800 --> 00:44:00,560 "Closest to 111m rode wins. 923 00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:03,840 "However, if your sketch is deemed least sketchy, 924 00:44:03,880 --> 00:44:07,560 "your difference from 111m will be doubled. 925 00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:10,000 "You have 180 seconds." 926 00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:12,320 You're going to decide something to draw. 927 00:44:12,360 --> 00:44:15,360 (TEAMS CONFER QUIETLY) 928 00:44:15,400 --> 00:44:17,640 OK. A team, who will be riding the bike? 929 00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:19,400 I will ride the bike. 930 00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:20,880 B team, who will be riding the bike? 931 00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:22,680 Si, senor. Fantastic. 932 00:44:22,720 --> 00:44:24,600 Your time starts now. (BLOWS WHISTLE) 933 00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:27,240 LISA: Can you actually, like... Sometimes you might have to go 934 00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:28,880 a little bit slower, Dave. Are you guys ready? 935 00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:29,920 Yep. That one. 936 00:44:29,960 --> 00:44:31,680 Oh, two. 937 00:44:31,720 --> 00:44:33,080 Yep. Just hold on. 938 00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:35,880 That is... Go a little bit slower. 939 00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:38,400 Can you slow down a little bit? I'm going as slow as I can. 940 00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:41,440 Yep. Oh, my God. OK. How many spins has it done? 941 00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:43,880 I've lost count and I didn't know what it was meant to be anyway. 942 00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:45,640 We're going way over, man. 943 00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:47,360 You're spinning pretty hard there. 944 00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:48,920 Maybe you focus on your spinning, bro. 945 00:44:48,960 --> 00:44:50,400 Oh. 946 00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:52,720 You've got to keep moving. You've got to keep moving. 947 00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:54,240 I am! Disqualify them! 948 00:44:54,280 --> 00:44:55,840 Shut up! 949 00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:58,160 Two minutes left! Oh, shizenhausen. 950 00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:01,080 Way over, man. Way over. What do you mean, I'm way over? 951 00:45:01,120 --> 00:45:02,880 Have you seen how slow I'm riding? 952 00:45:02,920 --> 00:45:04,800 Dave, I don't think you're even interested in the hell 953 00:45:04,840 --> 00:45:06,600 that I'm going through here. 954 00:45:06,640 --> 00:45:09,000 You haven't asked... You haven't asked me once. 955 00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:10,560 You know you've got this. 956 00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:12,640 You won four Gold Logies for a reason. 957 00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:15,120 For a little bit. This is just so shit. 958 00:45:15,160 --> 00:45:16,920 Hang on. He's spinning like a top. 959 00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:19,080 I thought I needed some more mileage. 960 00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:22,440 Keep going, mate. There's someone chasing ya! 961 00:45:22,480 --> 00:45:23,640 30 seconds! 962 00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:25,160 Can you slow down? Can you slow down? 963 00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:27,240 Do you have time to slow down? I'm not moving. 964 00:45:27,280 --> 00:45:28,440 He's not movin'! 965 00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:31,920 I'm just trying to... Come on, Lisa. 966 00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:36,040 Five, four, three... AUDIENCE: Two, one! 967 00:45:36,080 --> 00:45:37,880 (BLOWS WHISTLE) Yes! 968 00:45:39,040 --> 00:45:43,080 Oh, my God! We won. 969 00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:46,720 TOM GLEESON: All right, just when a few cyclists have looked at the TV 970 00:45:46,760 --> 00:45:50,520 and thought, "Finally, someone is taking us seriously," 971 00:45:50,560 --> 00:45:53,480 we'll be back to look at the portraits after the break. 972 00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:55,240 (APPLAUSE) 973 00:46:02,440 --> 00:46:05,080 (APPLAUSE) 974 00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:07,600 Welcome back to Taskmaster. 975 00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:09,080 What's going on, Cashman? 976 00:46:09,120 --> 00:46:11,680 Our contestants have just done a live task where our teams sent 977 00:46:11,720 --> 00:46:14,360 someone for a ride on a bike of exactly 111m, 978 00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:15,400 and whilst they did so, 979 00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:17,600 the rest of their team sketched a sketchy sketch 980 00:46:17,640 --> 00:46:20,480 on a canvas attached to the back of the bike's wheel. 981 00:46:20,520 --> 00:46:21,920 Simple stuff. 982 00:46:21,960 --> 00:46:25,160 Before I reveal the distances and how close they got to 111m, 983 00:46:25,200 --> 00:46:28,080 you need to judge whose sketch was the sketchiest. 984 00:46:28,120 --> 00:46:30,560 Can we see the sketches? OK. All right. 985 00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:31,960 That's the better team. B team. 986 00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:34,280 Better team. In this case, may not be better. 987 00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:36,320 It's upside down. Oh. 988 00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:39,320 Really? It feels like... 989 00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:42,120 Looks pretty symmetric in both axes. 990 00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:43,640 No, it's upside down. Really? 991 00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:45,920 I think that would be the end of what you say about it. 992 00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:47,600 Are you silencing a woman? Yes. 993 00:46:49,680 --> 00:46:52,560 I'm thinking maybe it's a record player. 994 00:46:52,600 --> 00:46:54,480 Let's see the next sketch. 995 00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:56,040 (LAUGHTER) 996 00:46:56,080 --> 00:46:57,120 Oh, dear. OK. 997 00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:00,360 Says down the bottom, "Where's Lance?" 998 00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:02,760 I'm guessing Lance Armstrong. Maybe it's a Tour de France. 999 00:47:02,800 --> 00:47:04,960 I feel like the inspiration was right in front of Lisa, 1000 00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:08,040 which was the bike. I think they are bicycles all over there. 1001 00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:10,480 Oh, my God. And Lance Armstrong was very sketchy. 1002 00:47:10,520 --> 00:47:12,000 Out of the two of them... Yes. 1003 00:47:12,040 --> 00:47:15,000 ..I think Lance Armstrong is far more sketchy. 1004 00:47:15,040 --> 00:47:17,080 All right! Thank you. 1005 00:47:18,480 --> 00:47:21,480 The A team said they were sketching Lance Armstrong injecting steroids 1006 00:47:21,520 --> 00:47:24,000 whilst riding a bike. OK. 1007 00:47:24,040 --> 00:47:26,600 The B team said they were going to draw the earth 1008 00:47:26,640 --> 00:47:27,800 holding a knife. 1009 00:47:29,800 --> 00:47:31,720 The-the eyes. 1010 00:47:31,760 --> 00:47:34,400 It has like a sketchy look. That's like a smile and two eyes, 1011 00:47:34,440 --> 00:47:36,640 and then he's got a little arm with the knife coming out. 1012 00:47:36,680 --> 00:47:37,680 OK. 1013 00:47:37,720 --> 00:47:40,240 He's really upset about global warming. 1014 00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:42,280 OK, so what scores do we allocate? 1015 00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:45,920 Well, it came down to who had the sketchiest drawing. 1016 00:47:45,960 --> 00:47:51,480 So Dave and Lisa rode 76m. That's 35m short of 111, 1017 00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:52,520 which was your target. 1018 00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:57,960 The B team rode 175.2m. 1019 00:47:58,040 --> 00:48:01,280 That's 64m over 111. Yes! 1020 00:48:01,320 --> 00:48:05,640 But then after the doubling, you were 128m away. 1021 00:48:05,680 --> 00:48:06,680 Not bad. 1022 00:48:08,120 --> 00:48:09,160 So the A team wins! 1023 00:48:14,320 --> 00:48:17,640 OK, so to allocate points, I think I'll go five, five, two, two, two. 1024 00:48:17,680 --> 00:48:18,680 OK. 1025 00:48:21,360 --> 00:48:23,840 OK. And who is our winner of the episode? 1026 00:48:23,880 --> 00:48:27,160 Waka was in last place with 12 points, and we had Emma with 13, 1027 00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:29,000 Tommy with 16, Dave with 17, 1028 00:48:29,040 --> 00:48:31,520 but Lisa wins the episode with 18 points! 1029 00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:34,080 Oh, really!? I am so genuinely shocked. 1030 00:48:34,120 --> 00:48:35,240 I'm genuinely shocked. 1031 00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:36,320 Congrats, Lisa! 1032 00:48:36,360 --> 00:48:41,640 Get up on stage and claim your frustrating desert island stuff. 1033 00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:43,160 Well then, what have we learnt? 1034 00:48:43,200 --> 00:48:45,920 Hughesy taught us he had a grouse house. 1035 00:48:45,960 --> 00:48:47,880 And right now Tom's learning 1036 00:48:47,920 --> 00:48:49,440 that it's tickle time! 1037 00:48:54,840 --> 00:48:56,880 See you next week. Goodnight! 1038 00:48:56,920 --> 00:49:01,920 (TASKMASTER THEME MUSIC) 1039 00:49:12,480 --> 00:49:14,320 Why don't you shake it all about for us? 1040 00:49:16,240 --> 00:49:18,800 You suck and I hate your outfit. No! 1041 00:49:18,840 --> 00:49:20,760 Argh! Argh! Ah! Ah! 1042 00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:22,520 Shit. Let's go. 1043 00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:24,560 TOM GLEESON: I can't believe I'm saying this, 1044 00:49:24,600 --> 00:49:26,840 but watching two 53 year olds do Gangnam Style 1045 00:49:26,880 --> 00:49:28,480 was the least awkward bit.