That's a shocking start!
Doh-oh!
Argh!
Yeah, that's it.
Where's Tom?!
Ugh!
Argh! Argh!
No!
I hate you.
Let me out of here!
Welcome to Taskmaster.
I won't mince my words when I say I'm Tom Gleeson and I'm the host.
Now I will mince them.
This is a delightful season of frivolities
made ever so rich with gleeful performances
by an enigmatic ensemble of entertainers draped before me.
They are the dynamic Dave Hughes...
...the electric Emma Holland...
...the lyrical Lisa McCune...
...the winsome Waka...
...and the tenacious Tommy Little.
Hello.
Now I won't mince them. Tom Cashman is also here.
Now I will mince them.
Are you well, Cashman?
I'm not well. Oh. Ohhh.
What's wrong, little buddy?
I remembered something very frustrating. Oh.
I remembered I forgot to take my left leg out of a hokey pokey in 2006.
Oh.
I sorted it out, though.
You put your left leg in. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
You're meant to take your left leg out. Oh.
Well, why don't you shake it all about for us?
And that, Hughesy - that's what it's all about.
Alright, let's dive into the prize task.
Tonight, our contestants have been asked to bring in what they consider
to be the thing that most makes the Taskmaster reminisce
about the good old days.
Oh, OK. Let's have a look.
Lisa, what do you think I reminisce about?
Well, I was hoping that a pair of roller-skates
might be something that... Oh!
...that you would find, you know, enjoyable,
and wondered whether you would ever put a pair back on
or if you've ever had any on at all.
My older sisters did. We're talking back in the '80s. Oh, OK. Yes.
But we lived on a farm.
It's pretty hard to roller-skate in a gravel driveway.
Oh, OK.
So, it's actually quite a depressing memory for me...
I'm sorry. ...watching both my sisters on Christmas Day
trying to roller-skate on a gravel driveway.
I'm terribly sorry about that.
Actually, you've made me reminisce about their misery.
It's actually quite good!
Thanks for that!
Alright, Emma, what do you have?
I've brought in donepezil, rivastigmine and galantamine.
It's the combination of drugs that's most beneficial
for early- to middle-stage dementia.
OK.
But, you know, I thought they could, you know, help you keep your memory.
You know, so you CAN reminisce.
Oh, so I might need it in the future, cos I don't have dementia now.
But if you start taking these now, you can prevent that.
And then in 10 years, you can reminisce about the good old days.
OK, I feel like I lost my mind during that. But anyway...
Uh, Dave.
This is... You're genuinely gonna love this,
and I'm really excited for you to see this, and...
Yeah, so, um... have a look.
Donkey Kong II, man!
Oh, yeah.
You know what?
You've made me think back to those beautiful days in the '80s,
it was around Christmas. Yes!
Yes, my brother got Donkey Kong for Christmas, but he let me play it,
while I watched my sisters, disappointedly...
...trying to roller-skate on a gravel driveway.
OK, I feel like I'm throbbing with nostalgia looking at that.
Alright, Waka, what did you bring?
Yes, uh... I brought a photo.
I think a photo is the best thing, you know... Ohhh.
Oh! ...to memory or time.
This is... I found your old - photo. - That's me.
And now we have technology,
AI.
Some AI make photo moving.
Yeah.
Wow! I...I try.
You know, that was back when I was in uni then,
and in that band playing drums.
And, you know, I did a lot of drugs, so it's how I remember it.
It's how I remember it.
Uh, Tommy, what do you think I would reminisce about?
Ever since I've started in comedy,
comedians that are older than me have referred to the good old days,
and the thing they miss most from the good old days
is cold, hard cash.
I always hear stories of getting paid in handshakes
and things like that.
I heard you guys talking in the corridor before.
You said you had one year where you only cleared $4,000
with the tax office...
...and you were driving in a new ClubSport, Tom.
So...
Yeah, absolutely. It was the good old days
being paid in cash, I used to always like it.
I don't get it. If you're paid cash, you still have to lodge the same amount with the ATO.
Yep.
Alright.
I'm gonna have to give Emma - one. - OK.
Because it sort of depressed me a little bit thinking about dementia.
I'm gonna give two points to Waka, cos even though it made me reminisce,
it, sort of, made me think about my old... ways.
I'm gonna give Lisa three points for the roller-skates,
cos it did remind me of a lovely time in my life
when I saw my sisters struggle.
And I'm gonna give four points to Dave for Donkey Kong.
It's a great game. Great game.
But cash!
The good old days.
Being paid in cash! Five points to Tommy.
Alright, it's time they start chasing the high scores proper.
Yes, but to score high in this one, they'll need to score low.
Aw! You look adorable!
Oh, you look so dapper.
You look very... cool.
Very...
That's the word you use? ...fancy.
I feel like I'm underdressed for what is about to take place.
If I have to hit something with a golf club, it's over for me.
No!
"Play golf." I love golf!
"Official golf rules apply."
"Every time your ball is in motion...
"..you must be talking aggressively to it."
"You have 12 minutes."
"Your time starts now."
Where's the hole?
Hey! I can see the hole.
Right! Let's play golf.
You piece of shit, keep going.
That's actually the best golf shot I've ever done in my life, you piece of crap.
C'mon, let's keep going.
I hate your circumference.
Go, you little red bugger!
Yeah, go in the hole, I hate you.
Oh, no.
I was about to have a rest.
I needed an icy cold brewski.
"Predict the other contestants' score."
"You have a total of 32 shots to allocate."
"Lowest score compared to average score predicted by your peers wins."
"Your time starts now."
I reckon Dave would probably be a golfer,
so I'm going to say he probably got it in seven.
I have played golf with - Hughesy. - Is he good?
No.
I've played golf with Tommy, and the only time he beat me on a hole
was when he said, "Let's bet on this hole."
He was hustling me!
I can't imagine Lisa McCune being bad at anything,
so let's give her four shots.
I reckon Tommy might have been quite good, so I'm just going to say four.
Give Waka 10.
Emma gonna be 14.
I will be better than Emma.
Do you wanna say it to the camera?
Emma...
...I think I'm better than you.
And maybe ball in the water.
So was that just a rather complicated way of describing golf handicaps?
Well, handicaps are based on your actual ability.
These handicaps that they all now have
are based on what the others reckon their ability is gonna be.
OK, so what we're going to do
is we're going to have another look at them playing,
and we're gonna see how close it was
to the rest of the group's expectations. That's right.
So, Dave and Lisa, the average predicted score is 5.75 shots,
Tommy's predicted score - 6.25 shots,
Waka's was 10.5,
and Emma's - 11.75.
OK, let's tee off, Lesser Tom.
Call it 2 August 1990, because we're about to kick off the Golf War...
...with Waka, Emma and Lisa.
I have no idea, but I'm gonna use this.
I think one of these... like, that's a putter
and that's a driver, OK.
Oops.
That counts as a shot. Does it?
Yep. No, no, I didn't even hit it!
Official golf rules apply.
You suck and I hate your outfit.
The aggressive talking starts - after the ball is in motion. - I hate the outfit.
I hate your little red outfit.
Was that an attempt?
Practise.
Do you promise me? Yeah.
That's another practice? It's practice.
One shot.
Go, you bugger!
Go, go, go! Don't...
No go there! Go straight!
Oh, no!
That counts as a shot.
That counts as well.
Where is it? Speak aggressively.
Oh, you go, you bugger, where have you gone?!
I forgot to speak aggressively cos I didn't know where it went.
Go, go...!
I tried to be aggressive, but I don't have time to be aggressive.
Do you wanna practise? Yeah.
No! You mustn't do that, you...
I don't wanna... I can't swear at a golf ball.
Small and yucky. I hate how yucky and small that ball is.
Bastard!
You suck and your family's not proud of you.
Dumb ball!
Go to hell!
Dammit!
Fly! Be free!
Slimy golf ball!
Ohhh! That was very close.
You're so small, you're so gross and small,
and I hate y... OK.
Bastard! Damn! Die!
Kill you! Argh!
Yeah, go in the hole, I hate you!
Stupid ball, go in! Ohhh!
That's actually my fault. I should've taken this out.
Oh, I hate you! Oh, you got it.
Bastard!
Thanks, Waka. Alright.
Thanks, Tom. You look awesome.
Thanks for saying that.
I'm gonna go and work on my bad language now.
Perhaps you could give us one practice as you walk away.
Shithead.
Thank you.
Lisa, I feel like you were struggling with the abuse.
Look, I mean, it's always great when you have a big release
and you swear.
But I didn't feel as though I wanted to be doing that at the golf ball.
It didn't feel like it'd actually help me.
Well, I mean, even your abuse is polite.
Like, at one point...
..one piece of abuse you yelled out was, "Fly and be free."
I would like to state that from here on in,
I am actually gonna become more aggressive.
I'm gonna work on it, OK, I - promise. - Yeah.
I'm just gonna let the cork out of the bottle.
Well, every time we have a live task, I want you to cut sick.
I'll cut sick. Yep, alright. I'm working on it.
Now, Waka, you convinced Cashman you were practising.
Cos usually that's... like, if you miss, that's a shot.
Official golf rules, if you're going for the ball and miss, that's a shot.
But you managed to convince him that that was practising? That was practise.
Very close to the ball, you were practising.
I know, that was very good practice.
Very good practice.
I never played golf. Only one time.
Yeah, but... It's apparent, it's apparent.
He's a baseballer. That's... that's ball and stick.
That's...
..shit explain!
So many sports like that!
Hey, Waka, just so you know,
this isn't a language barrier thing.
That made no sense.
So, Em, it took you quite a few shots to get it in,
but everyone did not seem to think you had much ability,
so that may have worked for you.
Yeah, just because I don't have ability
doesn't mean I want people to think that about me.
Well, you might be about to have a very disappointing win.
Honestly, I still don't really understand how this task works.
I'm just kinda going with it at this point.
Well, why don't we look at the scores?
So, no one beat what was predicted of them,
but mild-mannered McCune was almost double her predicted score
with 5.25 more shots than what was predicted.
Waka was closer - only 1.5 shots off what was predicted of you.
But Emma pips him by only a quarter -
you were 1.25 shots off what was predicted of you.
And a low score is a good score.
Now, Cashman the caddie is demanding his unionised drinks break,
so we'll pop right off and see you after this.
Welcome back to the PGA Taskmaster Tour,
where our avid golfers are halfway down the fairway.
That's right, we're in the middle of a golf task
where our contestants have each predicted how the others will do.
These next two actually play golf. It's Dave and Tommy.
Come on, ball. You've been a bad boy.
Only when it's in - motion, please. - Oh.
I think the ball went over there somewhere.
Good caddie talk. Thank you.
I don't know where you went. Where did ya go, ball?
Where are you? Call out to me, ball!
I want you to be safe!
Don't worry out there!
Is that aggressive? Oh, yeah, right.
Come back here, you idiot!
Do you know where it is? You hit it.
Yeah, but you're the caddie.
Is the caddie meant to look at where the ball went?
I don't know!
Are you my caddie? Yeah.
I'll have another ball. Thank you.
I'm gonna put this in the bath, actually.
Come on, ball! Oh, no, that went right.
Alright, let's go.
Did it roll down into the lake?
No. This is really desperate by us.
The hole is the bath. It's a big hole.
Is the hole the bath? The hole is the bath.
OK.
Come on, run! Run, Tommy!
I think I've found it. Where?
Oh, no! Ohhh!
Get in the...
Ball, you're back where I hit you!
OK, the plan is,
through the gap in the trees here... OK.
...and in the hole.
Oh, you mother...!
I thought that was the ball for a second.
No, the ball's there.
If this hits someone, I've warned you.
Ball, why are you burying yourself?!
Not bad.
Oh!
Was that really good? I think that was really good.
Actually, there's a hole over - there. - Yep.
I didn't see it!
Why didn't they tell me about that?
How long have we got? One minute and 47 seconds.
So, I could take a shot now... Yes.
...or we could be a big-occasion player
and do it right on the buzzer. You're crazy.
Generally, I'd putt from here,
but we're running out of time.
Kids, swearing's not the answer.
I've forgotten to swear at the ball.
Yeah, I forgot about that, too.
Maybe this could be your big opportunity to swear at the ball.
Go down that hole!
Tap.
You...! Come on!
10 seconds.
Here we go. This is to win the Masters.
I'm gonna do it eyes closed,
like Michael Jordan with a free throw.
Five, four,
three, two,
- one. - Get in the hole, -knuckle!
Jesus Christ, dammit! Ohhh!
Why didn't I take another...?
Eyes closed.
It's in. That's in!
The whistle! He's done it!
I ended up further away. Mm.
That's golf.
Thanks, Tommy. Thanks, Tom.
So, Hughesy, you didn't know the hole was there?
Yeah, as we saw, it took me a long time to realise
that there was an actual hole.
And I invented a hole, I invented the bath.
I thought that can be my hole
because I didn't know what the end game was.
At some point you started saying, "The bath is the hole,"
and I was like, "OK."
I'll tell you this from experience,
anything can be a hole with the right attitude.
Now, Tommy, why did you leave it down to the last minute?
You could have just got it in the hole.
Cos I just thought, "Isn't it a nice little stamp on it
"to just... a buzzer-beater, like my favourite sport, basketball."
And then I just...
...I just it.
Alright, I feel like we need to hear their scores.
Well, Tommy was in a position to win easily,
but went for the drama and now is dramatically disqualified.
Give that up. Come on!
What?! Why did you start that?
I have never been more an idiot in my life and I didn't come last.
That's incredible, so...
But you didn't have to go like this -
you clapped and no one joined you,
and then you turned to the audience and went, "Come on."
We're meant to be comrades.
We are. We're celebrating your failure.
Speaking of failure, Dave's score...
Dave's predicted score was 5.75,
and he was slightly over that with 18 shots.
Yeah.
So, that means...
Come on!
So that means Tommy gets zero points, Dave gets two,
Lisa gets three, Waka gets four,
but Emma wins the task with five points!
And in terms of the episode scores, Tommy is on five points,
every other contestant is on six points.
Oh! Ooh!
Close!
OK, great round. Now, shall we depart the fairway for the next task?
Yes, let's head back to the clubhouse
for some nibbles and small talk.
Hey. Hey. Hi.
I'm so sorry. You're on a mission.
Hello.
This is why.
"Mingle at the party. Best mingling wins. You have 25 minutes.
"Your time starts now."
Hello, gang. Sorry to interrupt. Can I...can I jump in and say hi?
Yeah. Yeah, we were hoping you'd make it.
So...
I feel like there was a mistake,
because we didn't see any of the other contestants, just Tommy.
Did...? Were the...? I feel like...
Did the editors rush that through
and they just cut the others out or something?
As you well know, only Tommy did this one.
So, Tommy, how do you feel right now?
I invested so much in those people!
I really got to know 'em.
Oh, yeah? What are their - names? - That was Gary with the moustache.
I take it back. Oh.
I've just been told his name was George.
Let's go!
OK. And are we gonna see more of it?
Yeah, but we thought we'd just spread his mingling out
across the episode.
Don't worry, we're gonna see a lot more of Tommy mingling.
Oh, I can't wait!
Alright, goody! Let's have another task, then.
We're teaming up again for a group discount to the museum.
Let's go.
Hi, Emma. Hello, Tom.
Hi, Tommy. Hi, Waka. Hey, Tom.
Hi, Tom. Hi, Lisa. Hi, Dave.
Hello.
I'm not doing that. Why not? Does no one else touch him?
No!
What is it? There's a typewriter involved.
"Type a 50-word team bio on this typewriter."
"You must type alternate words..."
"..and any words spoken must be typed."
"Most self-glorifying bio wins."
"You have five minutes. Your time starts now."
Any words spoken from...?
We have to write that down?
Those are the first words. Type that now, please.
"Any words spoken, we have to write that down."
So we have to type a word each?
Please type those into the typewriter.
Ohhh! Shhh!
Incredible. Best.
Duo. Ever.
We. Are.
Great.
At.
Sex.
Thrilling. Hot.
Revolutionary.
Couple.
And we.
Like.
Sex.
Who. Glisten.
Like.
Diamonds.
Star...
Diamond stars.
Our favourite.
Doggy. Pfft!
What?
Oh.
Oh, we're jammed.
We.
Love.
Sex!
That was really hard.
I never heard 'sex' so many times.
- Thank you. - I'm very worried about this team.
Hi, Tommy. Hi, Waka. Tom-Tom.
Hi, Emma. Hello, Thomas.
Can you grab it, if you can? OK.
Thank you.
What's this?
Oh, what's that say?
"Any words spoken, we have to write that down."
It's our bio, and someone's engraved it onto here.
It must have been good if they engraved it.
I'm not sure that's true.
"Create an interactive museum display
"to be viewed by museum visitors in 100 years' time."
"The display must be on the subject written on the plaque."
"Most educational interactive museum display wins."
"Your interactive museum display must be open to visitors
"in 45 minutes."
"Your time starts now."
Alright, well, what are the key words?
Sex. Sex. Dogs. Doggy.
Maybe it's the key in the accident that we first spoke,
which is, "Any words spoken."
In 2025, language was important.
Yes, because, of course, it's disappearing
because we're using so many - phones. - Yes.
People are talking about rizz and skibidi.
Have you heard about skibidi? No, what's skibidi? I don't know.
Why don't we just be naked, covered in glitter?
Yeah, I don't know about that.
Come on.
OK, so the teams are back.
We've got the A Team - Aged - Team. - Mm-hm.
And the B Team -
Better Team.
Now, Tommy, it was good to see you branching out there, by the way.
You know, at one stage, Waka, when he was exasperated,
he turned to me and he grabbed me and he goes,
"Why are you so horny?"
It's true. He was just... he just said many times "sex".
And you... His brain just sex.
But also, can I say, Lisa wanted us naked with glitter on us.
I mean, did I? I don't recall that.
It was on the screen!
Alright, let's get stuck in.
Making a museum exhibition on the subject of
"So we have to type a word each? We are great at sex. We like sex.
"Our favourite doggy what love us and we love sex.
"We love to rock."
"Also, beautiful and fantastic and sex.
"We will dominate anyone in the world
"and you, you . Bye."
It's Emma, Waka and Tommy.
Oh, wow.
100 years ago today,
humans ruled the earth.
They used to say things like, "We're great at sex,"
and, "We love sex,"
and, "We love doggy style," which was very demeaning to our whole breed.
In fact, they treated us badly, very poorly.
Until one day everything changed
and my friend Waka here had had enough and he fought back.
Waka, that's your cue.
Bow-wow-wow!
That's enough!
Gagh! Argh!
Gagh! Gagh! Gagh! Gagh! Argh! Arghhh!
This is... human heart.
They say every dog has its day.
Well, guess what, you sons of bitches,
every human does too.
And from then, everything changed.
And now we show 'em that we like sex
and we're fantastic at it.
But we don't do human style.
We tried it once - it was boring.
A lot of looking in the eyes and lying to each other.
I don't trust 'em.
Oh, and one more thing -
you, you .
Bye.
Very good!
Tommy Little there, bravely trying an accent again.
And we all remember how it went last time, don't we?
He stayed in that accent the entire time we were filming.
He was like Daniel Day-Lewis.
Like, he was in c... You were focused.
I had a good time!
What can I say?
So, let's get this straight.
In the future, dogs have overtaken the planet
and run museums where the first ever dog to attack their owner
is chained up like a slave to re-enact the day of the uprising?
Is that what you were going - for? - You got it, wise-ass!
To be honest, I'm just glad the exhibit wasn't
the three of you having sex.
I want to make it clear it was because I said no.
Me too. And Waka.
Alright, to see us to the break, here's a bit of Tommy's mingling.
Do you guys want these things?
No, I'm fine, thanks. Sure, thank you.
I don't even know... Are they brandy snaps?
Mm-hm! They sure are. What are your names?
George, it's one of the more impressive moustaches I've ever seen.
Oh, cheers.
Why do they call them handlebars?
I guess they look like handlebars.
I guess! Yeah.
Welcome back to Taskmaster. Lesser Tom, what did we just see?
We just saw Tommy Little doing a task
where he has to mingle with a roomful of extras for 25 minutes,
which no one else had to do.
OK. Now, what else is going on?
In our team task,
our contestants are creating museum exhibits for the future
based on their team bios.
Next up, making a museum display out of
"Any words spoken, we have to write that down.
"Incredible best duo ever to breathe on planet Earth.
"Ever outstanding talent, thrilling, hot, revolutionary couple
"who glisten like diamond stars conjoining icons simulating...
"Oh, we're jammed. Height bits in tandem.
"Terrific talent, unrivalled brilliance,
"perfect timing, delicious tasting, mouth watering."
That's the end of the bio.
Here's Lisa and Dave.
Go!
Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our...
Times.
Times? Days? We're going back in time.
Alright, well... Oh! Shit.
Oh.
That is what we have done to the planet. We're going back in time.
Back in time. Any words spoken are important.
You must be the change you wish to see in the world.
Helen Keller said that.
Yeah... Did she?
OK.
Spread love everywhere.
It's beer o'clock.
Kevin Bloody Wilson said that.
Do one thing that scares you every day.
Who said that? I...I have no idea.
I just googled that one.
Remember, if we do not speak our words...
Nobody will know what you're saying or what you mean.
Everybody Gangnam style!
You don't need to run from your problems.
But you've gotta have...
Say it.
Gotta have what? Sole!
Oh, sole.
This exhibition is now closed.
We're doing this so bad!
Be pr... Own it.
What? Oh, shit.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was a bloody mess!
I mean, it was...
I must admit, I don't feel educated by that.
There was a lot going on.
I mean, I can't believe I'm saying this,
but watching two 53-year-olds do Gangnam Style
was the least awkward bit.
What were you... what were you just trying to do there?
We were just trying to, like,
remember the most famous words through history
and present them for future generations
so that they too can learn
from the finest minds to ever exist on this planet.
And I think we achieved that. Yeah. Yeah.
Whoo! Thank you.
He's chaos. He's just chaos!
I mean, it was m... he's a master...
He's masterful, and I followed his lead as best I could, and I think...
Oh, are you blaming me for this bullshit, are you?
No.
Alright. Well, I guess what I'm looking for is which one...
Most educational.
..which was the most educational.
I feel like one was a bit more educational than the other,
just because it made sense. Yep.
Kind of. There was a story there.
Whereas the other one was just, I don't know,
it was like free jazz.
So, I'm gonna give the Better Team five, five, five.
OK. Wow!
And the Aged Team two, two. Alright.
Ooh!
And the scores for the episode
Dave and Lisa are both on 8 points, Tommy's on 10,
but Emma and Waka - tied in the lead with 11 points apiece.
Ooh! Ooh!
OK. Less red tape and more red wax on tasks.
Sure thing. This one requires a red-eye reduction.
Where's Tom-Tom?
Hello!
You're quiet.
That makes me scared.
It's quite dark.
Hi, Lisa. Hello.
Hi, Tommy. Oh, hey, bro!
Leave it on the stick. Leave it on the string, yep.
"Make a thing be mid-air when these camera flashes go off."
"The camera flashes will go off
"exactly 20 seconds after you yell 'cheese'."
"Your thing must be made to be mid-air from the mat."
"If your thing isn't mid-air when the flashes go off,
"you will be disqualified."
"Shortest time for your thing in the air wins."
"You have 10 minutes to select your thing and yell 'cheese'."
"Your time starts now."
Dave, would you mind, um,
disconnecting the task from that wire?
My arm is getting very sore.
I thought it was part of it, mate.
So basically, when the flash goes,
you want to have something in the air.
That's right. It's gotta be mid-air when the flash goes - off. - OK.
Well, our contestants have to wait 20 seconds
before throwing their thing,
but first, you viewers have to wait two minutes before seeing a thing.
Because this is an ad break. See you soon!
I'm actually more interested in what you do for fun.
Yeah, I heard you talking about skateboarding. Yeah. You skate?
I do. I'm a bit fat now, but I still get on it.
I wanna squeeze you!
You're adorable!
Do you want something to add to that fatness?
Do you want...? Why not?
Have you noticed no one ever makes spinach made out of meat?
It's always the other way around.
Mm.
That's good. Yes.
Welcome back to Taskmaster.
Thanks for your patience
and the patience of the poor extras you saw Tommy Little dribbling at.
Cashman, remind us of the task at hand.
Our contestants have to count to 20 and then chuck something in the air.
That thing needs to be mid-air
exactly 20 seconds after they yell "cheese" -
as opposed to whispering "cheese",
which is what I do when I take a selfie.
Don't reward his sad ways.
First up on Cheese TV, it's Lisa, Tommy and Dave.
OK, I'm going to go to the shed.
Be careful, though. It's a bit creepy over there.
Bit creepy.
Are you gonna throw these? Nah.
That's just for my benefit?
And the audience at large.
Here's a couple of options I've got here.
Ooh! I think we might have a winner.
This could be a really bad move, but I'm just gonna give it a go.
I wouldn't mind a bit of theatrics for the finishing shot.
Like maybe...
...a broomstick.
This is gonna be sick.
20 seconds after I say "cheese".
Focus.
You can do this.
Cheese!
Cheeeeese!
One banana, two banana, three banana...
...four Mississippi, five Mississippi, six Mississippi...
...10 banana, 11 banana...
...12 Mississippi, 13 Mississippi, 14 Mississippi,
15 Mississip...
Oh, dammit! Ohhh!
Oh my, goddammit!
12 banana, 13 banana,
14 banana, 15 banana,
16 banana, 17,
18, 19,
20!
Ohhh!
I didn't even get to throw it in the air.
I'm so sad.
So, so close.
Oh.
So, Hughesy, the Mississippi - the "one Mississippi, two Mississippi" -
I think works with an American accent, not the Australian drawl.
Yeah, I was right off. Um...
I think they both did well.
And Lisa, I just... I'm really...
...I'm heartbroken for Lisa right now, to be honest.
Yeah. Well, Lisa, you were so close!
I really panicked. I just got a little bit... I got a bit edgy.
It felt like it was taking too long.
So, did you actually throw a little bit earlier than you meant to?
I...no, I didn't wait till the last banana properly.
I don't think I gave it a proper ba-na-na.
OK. I think I just did ba-na.
Tommy, what were you aiming for?
Were you trying be a witch or something? Yeah, a witch.
So, were you thinking just at the last moment
you were gonna jump really - high? - I was gonna jump.
So then it was gonna be me mid-air,
looking like I'm flying through the air.
It was gonna be awesome!
So, just you jumping in the air would've been...
Yeah, I got a big jump, though.
Show us.
It's a small window, mate. That's...
Show us your jump!
I've got a sore calf, and you know that.
Oh, actually, don't, don't!
Please don't hurt yourself. Don't hurt yourself.
Why not? Come on, let's go!
Oh, that was pretty good!
I...I should not have done that.
Alright, well, so, how do I judge these?
Are they just all disqualified? They're all disqualified.
Ohhh!
You cannot disqualify Lisa for what she did!
Dave, thank you! What... what about...
What about Tommy?
Disqualify Tommy!
But Lisa was so close. You guys... But the rules are the rules.
Can you drive away from this studio tonight
giving Lisa zero for that effort?
Can you do that?! Absolutely happy to.
I thrive on it.
I love it.
Lisa's umbrella hit the ground
0.34 seconds too late.
Oh, wow! That close?
Alright, who's next, dude?
Our remaining flashers are Waka and Emma.
It just feels like there's no other way to do this
than to say 'cheese', then throw an object up and hope...
I didn't... That wasn't me saying it.
OK. OK.
They're not gonna go off, aren't they?
All you need is in the task. Tom, no!
"The camera flashes will go off exactly 20 seconds after you YELL..."
OK, thank God. OK.
I'm gonna get a balloon.
Alright. Good.
I got something here. I just make this.
Not yet, not yet. I'll just practise. OK.
Did you see?
I feel like this will stay mid-air longer than something else.
Alright.
Cheese!
Ohhh!
That felt like it went well.
So, I say 'cheese', 20 seconds?
You don't SAY 'cheese'.
What?!
Yell. Mm.
Cheese!
What's a yell? Yell is - screaming? - That was a yell.
Alright, I got it to go. Let's do it.
Cheese!
One, two, three,
four, five,
six, seven,
eight, nine, ten,
eleven, twel...
20 seconds.
Mm.
20 seconds. I was 10.
Oh!
I said it twice, 'cheese', and the first one was already...
Yep. That triggered the...
OK.
So, Emma, do you have a freakish internal clock? What was going on?
I think I'm good at counting.
Afterwards, I did turn around and the whole crew was going...
Now, Waka... Yes.
...Japanese people are famous for their love of photography
and being punctual. On time.
You failed at both of these.
Have you let your nation down?
That was the last task of the day and I was very worried about myself.
I thought, "My brain's already up."
And I could not count anything.
So when the flash went off,
you thought, "I don't know how to count anymore"?
Yeah.
I'm very worried about myself.
Is it quicker to count to 20 in Japanese or English, do you think?
I wonder. It's... the same number.
Yeah, but there could be longer... I don't know. You know what I mean.
Like, what... number five - what's 'five' in Japanese?
Go.
It's about the same, yeah.
So...
...we've got four - disqualifications. - That's right.
And I guess that makes one - winner. - Yeah.
So, zero points for everyone except Emma, who gets five points!
OK, we're off to a break - like an unexpected flash,
it's bright, sudden and leaves you seeing spots.
See you soon!
This one is my mum.
Awesome! Yeah.
Mum's not around? No.
- I'm sorry. - Well, actually, she's always around.
Yeah, that's great!
I've got a pussy hand.
It's a lion with a monocle. Rreow!
Rreow, rreow, rreow! One for everyone.
Welcome back from the break to Taskmaster,
where Tommy's still chin-wagging.
Before we go up for our live task,
I have some episode and series score updates for you. Ooh!
So, on 8 points, we've got Lisa and Dave,
Tommy's on 10, Waka's on 11,
and Emma's on a canter out in front on 16 points!
Now, in terms of the overall series scores,
Emma's out in front in the series as well, on 96 points!
Alright, we have one more task of the live variety.
Head on up to the stage!
OK, what's happening here, - buddy boy? - Quite a lot.
I'm going to ask each contestant
to take their mini mat and place it wherever they like,
anywhere within the area on the lower stage.
Dave Hughes, if you could choose first.
Ooh! Ooh! Are you... Oh-oh!
What?
Emma.
Lisa.
Oh, here we go. Here we go.
Waka.
Tommy.
The Flying V. Let's do it.
Let's rock 'n' roll.
Now I'm going to ask Waka to read the task.
Alright. "Pat the dog."
"You must be wearing your blindfold
"and cannot step off or move your mat."
Ugh.
"Fastest wins."
"Your time starts when Tom releases the dog."
Yes, Emma?
Could you please ask Hughesy to be careful with his hands?
Tom, I'm legitimately terrified of the dark.
OK. Is this scary?
The dark? As in...
...do we get to see what's in there before...?
No. I promise it's not scary.
One other thing I'd like to clarify -
if you knock the dog over
or if you even touch with your hands the floor,
you're disqualified.
Oh, OK.
Please put your blindfolds on.
Oh, this sucks. No, it's fine.
It's released. What?!
What...
Stay on your mat! Argh!
Stay on your mat! I'm too scared!
Stay on the mat.
Stay on your mat! Stay on the mat.
What's happened? Stay on your mat! Tommy, settle down!
What's happening?
Stay on the mat.
Stand up, man! Stand up!
Tommy's disqualified.
What's happening?
What's going on? Is Tommy alright?
Tommy's fine. Where is Tommy?
Don't worry about Tommy!
Are you OK, Dave? I can hear it.
It's near us!
Come here, boy! Come here, boy!
Dave is disqualified. Oh.
What have I done?!
You've touched the floor heaps.
Oh, my God, that was such a stressful start.
Ohhh!
Oh, no! No! Ohhh!
What just happened? You did not pat the dog.
Ohhh!
Oh!
Everyone's OK? Everyone's fine.
Emma has patted the dog! Yes!
We're down to Lisa and Waka.
It's like a DVD loading screen.
Don't touch the floor!
Oh!
Come on! Come on! Come on!
Oh! Yes!
Down!
Down! Down!
Down!
Down, Waka! Down! Lower!
Lower! Lower!
Ohhhh!
Oh, my God! Where is it?
Waka!
Come on!
I mean, it's good stuff.
Oh! Oh!
Get down! Down!
Down! Down! Down!
Down! Down!
Down! Come on!
Yeah!
Waka patted the dog!
That means Lisa's lost. That's the end of the task!
What happened?
OK, what a great task.
But seeing as that dog is a single-use shepherd,
we need a quick break to go 'Old Yeller' him out the back.
See you after this.
What...? Why you scream?!
People would think you just had a funny attitude.
I was doing Michael Jackson.
Yeah.
Ohh!
Hey, that's our time.
You've all been lovely and I really appreciate it.
Well done, everybody. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Thanks, gang.
Ohhh!
Welcome back to Taskmaster,
where Tommy Little has been entertaining
a roomful of unpaid extras with such thrilling chat as,
"I've got a pussy hand. Rrrr!"
Rrr... Oh! Rowr! Oh.
That's right, and it still was technically a task,
even though only Tommy had to do it, so we have to score it.
OK, well... It was pretty good.
Well, you know what? I am gonna - give him some points. - OK.
But it's based on the quality of the mingling. Yep.
So it's two. OK.
Two points for Tommy for his mingling.
Now to recap on the live task that we just saw. Traumatising for some.
Tommy had a meltdown, Dave was just Dave - they both got disqualified.
Lisa got three points, Waka got four,
but Emma won the task and gets five points!
So, with all the points now in the blender,
what does the episode smoothie pour out as?
Emma's run away with it with blackjack - 21 points.
She's our winner for the episode!
Congratulations, Emma. Head up to the stage to cop your yesteryear merch.
What a ripsnorter! But with every ripsnorter comes lessons.
We learnt Tommy isn't the big game player he wished he was,
we learnt Emma is freakishly good at counting to 20,
and we learnt what it would look like
if Dave and Lisa ever went to Burning Man.
Bravo, Emma, for winning,
and until the next one, I'll see ya when I'm looking at ya!
Goodnight!
Welcome to the Terrordome.
Whoa! Argh!
Oh, my God, you've unleashed the dragon!
My fight-or-flight kicked in, and it turns out I cower.
I think I'm proud of myself.
What the , Tom? Who won?!
I know you think you're being smart now, but if you were...
No, no, no. I don't think it, I know it.
Captions by Red Bee Media