That's a shocking start.
Tom!
Whoo!
Yep. That's it.
Where's Tom!?
Ah!
Agh!
No!
I hate you.
Let me out of here!
Hello, and welcome to Taskmaster.
I am Tom Gleeson, and I would like to start this episode
with an earnest dialogue to all the people out there
that this show means so much to.
You know, and I know it can help you get through the tough times in life.
And I'd like to say from the bottom of my heart,
I'm only in it for the money. Stop contacting me.
Now, you can contact these guys instead.
Welcome our cast, hughes.david@aussiemail.net...
...eholland11@gmail.com...
...mccunefan@telstra.com.au...
...twakasugi@yahoo.jp...
...and the.hectic.1@hotmail.com.
Hello.
And next to me, it's the guy who always goes to the hospital
when he gets pins and needles, because he takes no chances.
It's Tom Cashman.
Another show, another show and tell. It's prize task, Tom.
That's right. Our first task is a prize task.
Each of our contestants have brought in a prize for tonight.
And the winner of tonight's episode will take home
all five of those prizes.
Tonight, our contestants have been asked to bring in
what they consider to be:
a mute thing that most looks like it would have a cute voice.
Ooh, OK. Waka, if you please.
Yes, I brought a power point.
Aww.
I wish... I really wish they - speak. - OK.
A cute voice. They say, "Oh. I'm tired.
"Don't use too much energy.
"Global warming." You know?
Have they got different voices, Waka?
Yeah. That one. That one is the lazy one.
Lazy one.
Ohhhh. Again?
This one is quite positive.
Yeah. Hello! Hello again.
That one's a bit, like, surprised. Oh!
I was sleeping. All right.
Tommy, what did you bring in?
There is a guy that lives near me that opens his house as a shop.
And I bought this old timey bar man.
And his name is Charlie Weaver,
but I just think he's cute and old timey.
OK, Waka, what would he sound like?
Do you want a drink?
All right. Emma, what did you bring in?
I brought in a drawing that I've done.
Oh.
My God. OK.
I feel like this is a trap.
Why did you draw that? Um...
Well, like, she's... she's quite cute, don't you think?
I'm not sure what the right thing to say is.
I specifically asked that they laminated it in case you got
in contact with it. Ohhh!
Is he like that? Yeah.
Oh, I was gonna ask you to house-sit. But I've got three cats.
I'd really like to hear Waka do the voice now.
Yeah. Me too.
Waka, what would the cat sound like?
Do you want a drink?
Uh, Dave, what have you brought in?
Yeah, this is an antique rocking horse that has been passed down
through the generations from my wife's side of the family. So...
Is this... Is this just you getting rid of something old?
Yeah. Yeah. This is not hard rubbish night.
This is a... No. It looks cute, doesn't it?
Wouldn't you love to, you know...
What's that? Hang on. Hang on.
What... What did you think the horse would sound like?
G...giddonme!
Well, Waka's the expert.
Do you think that's what the horse would sound like?
No, no. It's cute sound. It should be cute sound.
Come on. What?
Do you wanna ride me?
I've just turned Waka into my toy.
OK, Lisa, what mute thing did you think would sound cute?
I kind of went with the first thing that popped into my mind when I read
the question, and it was Tom Cashman.
Oh.
I... Could you do the voice?
No, no, no. He can do the voice.
Can you do it again?
Would you like a few cocktails?
OK. All right. Well, I guess I should hand out some scores.
I think you should.
I hate to say it, but it's supposed to be a mute thing,
and you're not mute. Nope.
So, Lisa, one point.
I just didn't like the look of the rocking horse.
It looked a bit mangy, I think, Hughesy.
So I'm giving it two points.
Tommy, three points for the bartender figurine.
OK.You were helped over the line a bit
by Waka's voice work. Absolutely.
Um, I'm gonna give four points to Emma's disturbing picture
that she drew. So you admit it's cute?
Uh, no. I'm more trying to appeal to the kind of person
that watches this show, so...
I'm trying to appeal to nerds.
I think it looked a bit up, to be honest.
And then that means...
I mean, we can't go past Waka. Five points!
OK, let's keep going into a task.
Bluey. Dora the Explorer. Postman Pat.
All business rivals. Our contestants wish to see them all burn.
Come in.
Hi, Tom-Tom.
Good to see you.
Could I ask you to please take a handful of letters?
Big handful or little handful?
Could you put the bookmark into the dictionary, please?
What now?
You may open the task.
Where is the task?
Is it in my pocket?
Is it in here? It's jam?
Should I eat this dictionary with jam?
I won't, but it's a task - I will.
Oh, that is... I could get used to that.
Yum!
"Create and debut a children's character.
"Your character's first name must be spelt
"from your handful of letters.
"And its second name must be a word
"on the dictionary page your bookmark landed on.
"Most marketable children's character wins.
"You have 45 minutes.
"Your time starts now!"
All right, let's do it.
Sorry.
All right, here we go.
Ra... Ra... Re...
Ree... Ree... Ren...
I got 'Tidi'.
Oh. My 'nipple'.
I've got both 'weird' and 'wet' to work with.
Ralph.
Raymond.
Rihanna?
Tidi Afoot?
It's either reliever, relaxer, rejigger.
Actually, the name doesn't matter.
The character is more important.
You want to make your character an animal because that's inclusive.
I think I might actually make it an underwater character.
Could be Gary Wet, who likes to have a bet,
and he's an anti-gambling character for kids.
And so he's had a negative experience with gambling
in the past? Lost everything.
Tidi Afoot answers all the questions,
like "why is the sky blue?"
And "why does mum live in a different house?"
I found a few things in the dress-up box.
That's a hat for you.
Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. Just ideas.
He's constantly got a longneck, is his first thing.
Should I give him huge titties?
"Most marketable children's character wins."
But it doesn't say marketable to children.
So I'm going for dads.
Sorry. It's all right. I'm still thinking about my character.
Is this too much?
Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. So many ideas.
Could you please get dressed like a child?
So, just to be clear, they just had to create a children's character.
And what am I looking for in particular?
Most marketable children's character wins.
Most marketable children's character. OK.
Well, let's find out which of these children's characters
are going to have the cut-through?
Debuting Tidi Afoot, it's Emma Holland.
Welcome one, welcome all.
It's Tidi Afoot!
Hi, Tom. I've got a question.
Yeah? What's your question?
Is Tidi Afoot single?
Hmm.
Guess I'll never tell.
Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!
I'm Tidi Afoot.
I didn't know that prize task and that task
would be in the same episode.
They come from the same brain, so who cares?
Does it really matter how far apart they're placed?
Yeah. Sometimes it's better if they're pushed togeth... Sorry.
Have you been on a comedy writing camp with Tommy Little?
I'm sorry.
So how would you market this to children?
I don't feel like it would appeal to children.
It didn't say "market it to children".
It's a children's character, but it had to be marketable,
so I've marketed it to dads.
Dads are watching that. I'm telling you right now.
- No, I know. - Mate, I've already booked tickets.
I can't wait.
Yeah, I get it. But I'm just saying,
I'm not sure that a children's network will pick this up.
You wouldn't be able to put it anywhere.
- Well, why not? Why not? - It's not a children's character.
Can't you just put it on the internet
and let the children find it?
Thank you, Hughesy.
Hughesy just really wants Tidi Afoot on the internet.
OK. Just worried it wasn't very inclusive.
It's just very heteronormative, you know?
You said it appeals to dads. What about gay dads?
Gay people can love titties, too.
OK, stay tuned for some more Tidi.
We'll be back after the break.
Welcome back to Taskmaster.
Your mature patience is much appreciated through the break.
But don't worry, we're resuming the infantile challenges now.
Yes, it's a task for the immature ones.
Our competitors are all vying to create
the most marketable children's character.
Debuting Gary Wet, it's Tommy Little.
'Ello. My name's Gary Wet.
What do you wanna be when you grow up, Gary?
I can be anyfing I wanna be.
Well, my future looked bright, but there was a race track in sight,
and so I decided to have a little punt,
and I bet on all the dogs,
and now me life's a slog.
I've lost so much. I thought I could munt!
I've even bet on trots, and now me life's hit rock botts.
And everyone says, "Gary Wet, you dumb c---."
A message from Gambling Australia.
Gamble responsibly.
Tommy Little's doing accents again.
Was that a wise move?
Wasn't a bad one.
I actually think you're on to something here, because I think
that in terms of marketability... Yeah.
I'm just saying it was very misguided.
He said the C word!
Yeah, I know, but it was, like, poorly thought out,
and there was a lot of colour brown there.
I just feel like a government agency would pick this up straight away.
- Absolutely. - They'd be throwing money at you.
I agree. I feel insane.
Well, you were a bit pissed off before, and I was just wanting
to see just how much further I could push that.
And it turns out it didn't require much effort at all.
All right, the children
and horny dads are crying out for more, Lesser Tom.
We're getting aquatic. Debuting Rian the Rejigger and Matt Manta Ray,
it's Dave and Lisa.
Rian the Rainbow Trout Rejigger here.
I am a fish, and I would prefer
to hang out of the water to catch my fellow fish.
Matt Manta Ray was a very beautiful coloured manta ray,
but he didn't have any friends, because he was different.
And then one day, after a shark attack
and all of these poor little manta rays
were left without their parents...
"They were yummy manta rays that we just ate."
Hello, Rian!
What are you up to today?
You rejigging rascal.
I'm fishing.
I don't know why our voices sound the same.
I don't know either.
Maybe you have a limited range.
Farewell.
Piss off.
And then he took a very deep dive and went to the depths of the ocean,
but the sharks pursued him fast.
Oh, no!
There's a shark coming my way!
And the shark takes his leg!
And then, just when they thought things couldn't get any worse,
all of a sudden there is the giant crayfish.
I'm gonna save you, Sammy the Seagull!
Steven! Aghh!
Thank you, Rian.
That was the best rejigging anyone's ever done.
And the giant crayfish welcomed them into the safety of his claws.
And the moral of the story is?
Always have a friend bigger than you.
So, Lisa, I have to say, flawless voice-over work.
I mean, it was Play School worthy, really.
Thank you. Thank you. It was perfect.
But do you always dress up for your voice-over work?
Because at the end of it, we saw that you were dressed like Nemo.
But I don't think you actually had to do that.
That was actually because it's really important sometimes
to dress to get you into the voice.
OK. I think it helps.
And why did I have to dress like a crab?
Because you were inspiring me also, and it makes you feel part of it.
I've kind of felt like, you know, it made... it made... made...
It just made the whole thing feel much better.
OK, so the moral was to always have a friend bigger than you.
I actually think that's a good idea for all the kids.
I always said that to my kids.
Either throw the first punch or, you know, have a bigger friend.
You know.
All right, now, Hughesy...
Yes. That, like...
I was trying to make sense of yours. It was a bit...
It was a bit out there.
Yeah, I did it
and I still needed subtitles, to be honest, so...
Yeah. So you were... Your character was a fish...
Yes. ...that goes fishing?
Yeah. Um...
Is this... My understanding of the plot
is that a smaller fish went fishing, got a bigger fish,
and then the shark was the villain,
and then together, the bird and the fish got rid of...
You could argue the moral was
"Always have a friend bigger than you."
Ahhh! Wow.
Thank you.
OK, well, I'm glad you cleared that up for us, that story,
because it was very confusing to watch.
And I was thinking... I was worried that, you know,
all those children's books that you wrote with your wife, Hughesy.
Yeah, still available. Yeah, I suspect...
I suspect she did all the writing.
She did. And we're up for another one, so she needs to get to work.
I wasn't expecting you to admit that straight away.
OK, let's hope I see some dollar signs in this last one.
Debuting Treebite Dogmn and Tricky Medis,
it's Takashi Wakasugi.
Animal kingdom.
Everyone friends.
Another peaceful day.
Then one bad enemy came to the kingdom.
Hey, animals!
His name is Treebite Dogmn.
I hate you!
Oh, my God!
Damn it!
I'm gonna kill them all! Why?
He hurts everyone so badly. Everyone suffering.
Then... Wait!
...superhero came to help.
My name is Tricky Medis.
You should die!
He fought so hard.
Crazy. Fighting.
You guys OK? No! Help!
And finally...
...he defeat Dogmn.
And another peaceful day come back.
But who is Dogmn?
Oh, my God.
He was an animal.
We all animal.
We should be all friends and study hard.
♪ Animal, animal Animal friends, everyone! ♪
See you next week!
I bloody loved it, Waka. Thank you.
That's how it's done. Thank you.
That is exactly what children's TV is like.
There's a hero. There's a - villain. - Yeah.
You watch it.
You've got no idea what the f---'s going on.
But kids just love it.
Yeah. It was perfect.
And the message there, and the message of friendship,
victory, effort... Yeah. Study hard.
Yes, yes. Very important.
I just thought it was fantastic.
All right, so I guess I gotta score these.
I'm gonna give one point to Tommy Little.
OK. Because unfortunately,
it's very hard to market a character that says the C word.
I think two points to Hughesy. OK.
Because it was just a bit hard to understand.
Three points to Emma because I just think it's hard to market
tits to children.
Four points to Lisa. Yep.
Because it was quite a simple story and a great message.
And just because it was so easy to market, so easy to understand.
I just loved it. Five points to Waka!
OK, we need to go to a break while I make our contestants sign away
their character IP to me while under duress.
See you shortly.
Welcome back to Taskmaster.
I just came from backstage, where I run the whole network
as a favour.
Cashman, what's next, you cheeky little bugger?
Another task. This one goes out to Mark Schwarzer.
Hi, Dave. Hello, Tom.
Hi, Tom. Good afternoon.
It's morning.
Maybe people watching in the afternoon.
I think they'll watch it at night.
Maybe they're recording and watching.
Good afternoon.
Good morning. Good evening. Anything.
I like this.
What about it? I like soccer.
Um... Do you want me to read this?
Yes, please. OK.
Oh, nice day for it.
"Score a goal against goalkeeper Tom from one of the mats."
This is the goal there. Two mats.
"You must shoot from the closer mat whilst blindfolded.
"Or from the further one whilst Tom is blindfolded.
"Once a mat has been selected, you cannot change.
"You cannot move either mat.
"You must say your last name before each shot.
"Best attempt wins.
"You have 20 minutes.
"Your time starts now."
All right, let's do it.
Let's have a hack. Who's putting the boot in first?
One hasn't gotten blown for years.
The other probably is right now. It's Dave and Tommy.
This is so easy for me because, you know,
I just want to kick the ball at you as hard as I can.
OK. So why wouldn't I just go
the closer mat and blindfold myself?
I think I'm gonna blindfold you, man.
I'm gonna stay where I am.
Did you ever play soccer? Nuh.
I have you pegged as a field hockey guy.
I did play some field hockey in high school.
Did you? Yes.
I'm going to do this in one go.
Oh! Heyyyyy!
Siuuuu!
I didn't hear your last name being yelled before you shot.
Oh, my God! Why?
Why did you let me celebrate so much?
OHHHHH! I hope this one hits you in the nuts.
Hughes!
Little.
Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry.
That was closer, man.
This one's nuts central for you, Cashman.
Oh, no.
Oh, for God's sake!
Did you block it? I saved it.
Hughes! Hughes! Hughes!
No!
Far out!
God has forsaken me!
Oh! Ah!
What did you do that for?
Hughes!
Come on!
NO!
Little.
Hughes!
Come on, come back!
Hughes!
That's going in.
Ohhhhhh!
Here we go. I think this is it.
Hughes!
Yeah!
Goal!
I'm heading for the bridge!
Goal! In your FACE!
Loser.
Thanks, Tom. Thanks, Tommy.
Yep.
So, Tommy, were you deliberately trying to take out the cameramen
so they wouldn't film your embarrassing attempts?
I was just so shattered
because I thought I'd hit it on my first shot.
Yeah. You just let me celebrate for so long.
Yeah, you went nuts. You put your T-shirt over your head.
You did the full soccer - celebration. - I know.
And what you didn't see is I did about four laps of that oval.
I only stopped because I was exhausted.
And so as soon as he got it in,
you knew he hadn't said his - name. - Did you?
I knew from before it even went in.
Why did you do that pantomime, then?
Because when I said, "Why didn't you tell me?" you had the director
and stuff come in and you pretended like you only just found out.
It's called managing the talent's emotions.
So, Hughesy, you decided to do it from further back,
which is what I would have done. But you didn't kick straight.
I thought you would have kicked very straight.
I was pretty good.
But some of his stops were bizarrely, like...
It was Matrix shit going on there. So...
Now, Hughesy, when you finally got it in, you ran up
and you just had a moment where you were gonna lift your shirt
and then you went, no, you decided not to.
It was a br... It's the briefest of moments.
You like, you got it in and you were running. You were like, "Yeah."
Why did you have second thoughts there?
Ahh, because I want people to watch this show.
So...
OK. So I feel like we need some scores there.
So, Tommy, if he'd said his name, would have got it in in one go.
That's right. OK, but how did he go?
Tommy got it in seven attempts. OK.
Dave Hughes got it in 13 attempts.
Oooh, still pretty good.
Yeah.
OK, Cashman, let's see some more fluky tape, shall we?
Two of them have played soccer.
The other played Maggie Doyle on Blue Heelers.
It's Waka, Emma and Lisa.
Well, I'm going from this mat. I'm not...
I'm not getting blindfolded.
I might try closer one. OK.
Are you ready, Tom?
Do I look like me?
All right. Holland.
Where's the ball?
All right. Holland.
Oh!
Wa-ka-su...
Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. I didn't touch the ball, right?
Where's the mat? Where's the mat?
How long have you played soccer for?
I don't want to say, because it'll be embarrassing
if this doesn't go in.
Holland.
Wakasu... gi!
Oh! Yes!
How do you feel?
Uh...
Genuinely a bit disappointed.
I think I should have done it the first go.
But, yeah. Tommy and Dave, they might play AFL footy,
which means they are no good at kicking.
And Lisa?
She... I think she doesn't know how to kick a ball.
I'm sorry. I shouldn't say that, but...
OK. McCune!
Oh, my God!
The first one.
Oh, my gosh.
Thanks, Lisa.
Oh, my God. Unbelievable.
Wow. Lisa McCune, in acting circles,
I believe we call that a one-take wonder.
Yeah. No. Very, very proud of that moment.
Once again, Australian soccer,
we just showed that the women are better than the men.
Yeah. I think that was great.
It was a mighty effort.
Waka, would you like to apologise to Lisa?
You were quite certain that she would be bad at soccer.
- I'm really so sorry. - Did you think I was gonna be bad?
Yeah. Why?
I just could not imagine.
Oh, I'm very sporty.
I knew now. Yeah.
So, Emma, did you say you were disappointed
because you didn't get it in straight away?
- 'Cause you play soccer. - Yeah, I play competitively. Yeah.
And you score a lot of goals.
I score a lot of goals.
But can I just say, they didn't sell it.
Did either of you celebrate properly your goals, like...?
Oh, no. Oh, you cut it out, which was very kind of you. Thank you.
Yeah. Emma did a bit of a Tidi Afoot impression.
OK, well, what are the scores?
Emma took four shots,
Waka took three, and Lisa got it in one shot.
That means Dave gets one point,
Tommy gets two, three for Emma, four for Waka, and Lisa wins the task
with five points!
And in terms of our overall episode scores, we've got Emma and Lisa tied
on ten points, but Waka's in the lead with 14 points
for the episode.
OK, now go get your Lisa ferb.
I'll round up my Waka lads.
And in the break, we'll meet you outside the Tube station
and have the lotta youse.
See you soon, mugs.
Welcome back to Taskmaster, the show where Emma Holland has made both
a horny cat and a horny puppet.
And good news for horny Emma.
This next task is about pleasure.
Hey, Tom. Hi, Tommy.
How are you? I'm OK.
Ah, love a conch.
"Make the most pleasurable sound...
"Whilst being most unpleasurable to look at.
"Most pleasurable sound whilst being most unpleasurable to look at wins.
"You have 20 minutes.
"Your time starts now."
Ooh. One half of this I can do.
The other half is gonna be a struggle.
Bro, that's so nice.
Listen to that.
I can just listen to that all day.
But... Oh, ouch.
Nicked myself. I did.
Are you bleeding? I'm bleeding.
I got an ouchie.
She sells seashells by the seashore,
but she also stabs motherf-----s with them.
I've got so many favourite sounds.
I love that.
Like...
Oh, that sounds like cultural appropriation.
I like the sound of the bowling.
- Oh. - That's a very pleasurable sound.
And I bring drums.
I hate most instruments.
Can you play the keyboard?
I can play, like, a simple chord or two.
OK. Can you teach me? Sure.
How are you gonna change your appearance, or are you happy
with where it's at?
That's not... Come on. Come on.
I want a face painting thing.
Oh. I hate face painting.
Oh, you don't like it? Very unpleasurable.
You know the upside down kissing scene in Spider-Man?
It's gross, isn't it? Mm.
There's something about upside down lips.
Yeah, that's no good.
I'm gonna go in there. OK.
When I come out,
ooh, baby, you cannot afford what you're about to see.
Yeah, I'm with you, Lesser Tom.
Is it unfair that Hughesy only has to make a sound?
OK. All right. Who are we hearing from first?
His voice is already as pleasurable as it gets.
It's Dave Hughes. Ooh.
Oh, no.
Has there been an accident?
Did I have a nip slip?
Oh, no!
Phew!
Thanks, Dave.
Party's over, mate.
We're back to normal programming.
Ohhh...
Whoa!
I'd just like to say to my kids, you can have tomorrow off school.
I mean, I shouldn't have doubted you, Hughesy.
You had another gear.
What's the... what's the - thinking? - What? What?
I think you nailed the visual element.
I mean, that nip slip will give children nightmares
for weeks to come.
But I want to question the sound.
It's supposed to be a very pleasurable sound.
Yeah. My wife's voice is very pleasurable.
So I was being my wife.
Um, she won't be happy to hear that, but, uh...
Does she say these things to you through a traffic cone?
Where does that fit in? I don't quite...
I'm not quite sure. I think that was to... a siren.
Like, a sea siren. Like a mermaid.
You know, mermaids... Oh, yeah. I got that.
You got that. Lisa got that. I got mermaid.
You got that? Yeah, I heard mermaid.
I did, I got that.
OK, Cashman, we might need a palate cleanser for everyone
who just got traumatised by Hughesy's crack.
OK. Next, to optimise their pleasure to non-pleasure ratios
are Emma, Lisa and Waka.
OK, Tom, I want you to just relax, close your eyes and imagine
that it's a stormy night and you're deep in sleep,
and then you hear this on the roof.
Pleasure!
Do I have something in my eye?
Like a void or an absence?
Ahhhh!
Ta-da!
Ha!
Am I done?
I think I won.
Thanks, Waka. Thank you.
See you, Tom.
OK, so, Waka... Yep.
The sound of pins being knocked over - sounds great.
- That's great. Yeah. - Sounds like victory. Sounds good.
So what do you think is pleasurable about dropping a grill
on a barbecue?
I was looking for that, like, a cymbal thing,
but I couldn't find it.
OK. Well, maybe you could have just left it out.
You know... But also, after the barbecue,
you finish cleaning up and... bam.
That's also a pleasure moment. Oh.
But what about the visual element?
You don't like Kiss make-up?
- Yeah, that's very scary. - OK. So you're not a fan of Kiss?
No. OK.
I'm a big fan of you.
OK.
Emma.
A very pleasurable sound,
the sound of a xylophone played beautifully, and just...
But you kind of went very... just very simple - eye out. Blurgh.
Is that pleasurable to you?
No, no, not pleasurable at all.
So I've done my job.
Whoo!
Yeah. I mean, it was quite horrific to look at,
but you've gotta remember, you're part of a continuum,
part of a spectrum that includes Hughesy with no shirt on.
Now, Lisa,
I reckon you bloody nailed it. Really?
Because I mean, you've got... the sound of rain on a tin roof
is a beautiful sound. Yeah.
And you looked like a nightmare.
There was a lot of hair.
You were like, couldn't see your face. You had a fright wig.
You looked like something from a Korean horror film.
It was frightening.
I'm really happy. If you're happy, I'm happy.
OK. What's a palate cleanser but for the ears and the eyes?
Whatever it is, my brain is screaming out for one.
Back soon after this break.
Welcome back to Taskmaster, a show awful for those with misophonia
due to its quantity of bad noises, such as a broken xylophone
or Hughesy's voice. What's next?
It's the last part of a "make a pleasurable sound
"while looking unpleasurable" task.
Finally, being hot is a disadvantage for him.
It's Tommy Little.
I'm Mojan.
I feel like that was good.
Like, we got that one in the can.
Let's go again.
My hat!
Stop moving in it. Sorry.
OK. 45 seconds. Are we going again?
OK. The cap's on, hat's on, and I'm ready.
Are you ready to play?
I feel like you didn't blow... Blow, mother------!
Ahhh!
That felt like something.
It was definitely something. Are we happy?
I feel like you're quite happy in the character.
What character?
Should I reveal you? No, no, no, no!
Oh, shit.
My whole undercarriage is out.
Do you have... Do you have a name?
Belody. Belody?
Belody.
I hope you don't mind me saying this, but that's a very fancy name.
Thank you.
Ah! So good.
Tommy, you lost yourself in that character a bit, didn't you?
Yeah, we stopped filming, and I was still there
for about 20 minutes.
I mean, visually, it was quite hideous. It was hard to look at.
But the problem is you made a sound.
So the... ...is part of the...
You are technically correct, but you know when you're just so in...
Oh, we could see that. Yeah.
Yeah. It's good stuff. All right.
Well, I feel like I need to hand out some scores here.
Yep. OK. Very easy.
One to Tommy Little,
because unfortunately those two sounds blended together.
One!? Yeah.
Yeah, I know.
But unfortunately there needed to be a pleasurable sound.
Two to Hughesy. Same thing.
The sound wasn't particularly great. Visually, though,
it was a bloody nightmare.
I'm gonna give three points to Waka.
Yep. Because I think there was
a pleasurable sound there. But then you smashed a barbecue.
Kinda took the edge off it. I'm gonna give four points to Emma.
Scary make-up. Eye out of the head.
Beautiful sound. Xylophone - can't fault that.
But it was a thing of nightmares from Lisa McCune.
I don't know what that was, but I will be seeing it
in my nightmares from now on.
And the sound was beautiful.
Am I allowed to give my five points and swap with Tommy?
Because I loved what he did.
But what about the age team?
And what about what I did?
It's just...!
It's so gross.
Thank you so much, Lisa.
Oh, my God.
Hughesy, do you want to give me a kiss?
Whisper something in my ear.
I was just saying before, you never take your wins
when you win. You've come here to dirty up your image.
Yeah.
Take the points and gloat.
Yeah. Show us...
Show us how to gloat. We haven't seen it yet.
- Yes! - But that would dirty up my image.
Like...
OK, let's race towards the end and get them all on stage
for the live task.
What are we staring down the barrel of here, Lesser Tom?
Before we read the task, I'm gonna ask Tommy,
who is currently coming fifth
in this episode, to choose a ball to stand in front of.
Ooh!
Dave, could you please choose a ball?
Seemed... Emma.
...lazy.
Lisa. I just...
So the girls are on the end.
And Waka.
Come on. Come on.
You can read it, Tommy.
Get that tongue working, man.
I got it.
"Turn your exercise ball into a world globe
"with your selected item.
"You must be wearing your boxing gloves throughout.
"Most geographically accurate world globe wins.
"You have 180 seconds."
I'm gonna ask you now to open the boxes, but don't use them yet
or anything, but just open them up.
Oh, f---. Oh!
OK, so Emma's got shaving cream.
Hughesy has Vegemite.
Tommy has mustard. Meant to open it?
Waka has jam.
And Lisa has silly string.
Are we ready? You've got three minutes.
Three. Two. One.
Can't open it!
Shit! Oh!
What's at the top?
Australia. Africa...
Oh!
What's on the other side? I think I'm the worst.
We're only halfway. I don't think you are, Waka.
I haven't got a country on here yet.
It's fine.
Oh. How many continents are - there? - One minute left.
Whoa! Hey!
Hey!
50 seconds!
Oh, shit!
I am really sorry.
I am so...
30 seconds left.
Yeah! Ten.
Nine. Eight.
Seven. Six. Five.
Four. Three. Two. One.
Step away from the globes.
OK. They've all had a spin with their globes.
Let's spin through this ad break.
See you soon.
Thanks for sticking around for Taskmaster.
We've got our live task results remaining
before our big episode winner.
Yes, they've all just competed
to create the most geographically accurate globe on an exercise ball
out of some gross and some delicious stuff.
Let's see how they did so you can score them.
All right. So the first globe
we're gonna be seeing is Lisa's.
This is with silly string.
Yep. That's Indonesia.
Um... that's... that's the Philippines.
I'm really having to use my imagination there, I'll be honest.
But you had a really late start there, Lisa, I noticed.
Yeah, it was tricky to work with, but, you know,
can't blame your tools. Yes.
Next we have Waka.
Silly string on it!
OK, Waka, you copped a bit of overspray there from Lisa as well.
I feel like this looks like, uh,
what the earth will look like after a nuclear incident.
So next up, we have Tommy.
This is the mustard-based globe.
Is that Africa? That's Africa. Yep.
Africa. Europe. Up the top.
Oh, I can see that. Oh, there's Australia.
Australia. New Zealand next to it.
Yeah, that's skid mark's New Zealand. Yep.
OK. It's not bad. Next we have Dave's.
Oh, OK.
Looks like...
Looks like Hughesy's had an accident at the gym.
What countries are we looking at there, Hughesy?
Ahhh, I think that's one of them.
And, uh, you know what I've done?
I've turned the globe upside down, because why can't Australia
be on top of the world?
What else do we have?
Our final globe is from Emma.
All right. OK.
Europe. Africa.
There's Australia. Oh, New Zealand! We can see that.
Look at the Americas. Oh, and then the Americas.
It's also terrain accurate.
So the bits that are taller are the tallest parts of them.
All right. Well, I've gotta score these.
I think there were two that sort of had countries on them
and three that didn't. Yep.
So at the bottom I'm gonna put Lisa with one point.
OK. Two points to Waka
because it was just pretty much an exercise ball
covered in jam.
Three points to Hughesy, who just looks like he tried to paint
a world map using his arse.
Four points to Tommy because I could make out heaps of countries there,
but I could make out even more countries on Emma Holland's.
Five points to Emma.
OK, before I give you the episode scores,
I've got some series scores to share.
Dave Hughes is in fifth place at the moment in the series,
on 103 points. Pretty good.
We've got Lisa on 111, Tommy on 117, Waka on 130
and Emma Holland out in front, with 139 points for the series.
But in this episode, Emma and Waka are both on 19,
which means we go to a tiebreaker.
So here's Waka and Emma down at the beautiful Taskmaster lake.
They're skimming a stone a la Lloyd Langford in series two.
Most skims wins.
Are you a seasoned stone skimmer?
I actually am. Oh, well, you're good at it?
Not good at it, but I think I love that.
But I do have, like, a moderate level of confidence.
This is good. I think this is...
Yeah. I'm gonna go with this one.
Oooh!
Thanks, Emma.
So, in case it wasn't clear, there Emma had one skim.
Waka - six skims!
Waka is the winner of this episode!
All right, Waka, get up on that stage and claim
your mute little cuties.
So, what have we learned?
We learned Emma has a horny preoccupation
with cutesy characters.
We learned on top of her Gold Logies, Lisa also has a golden boot.
And we learned from Tommy Little...
Help our winner Waka celebrate their victory,
and we'll see you next time.
Goodnight!
Yeah! It's time to party!
OK. Hurgh!
Can we cut that out? I'm sorry.
TOMMY!
I've always thought you were a bit of a weird unit, but that is off.
That is... That's...
I don't know how to react to that.
Captions by Red Bee Media