That's a shocking start. Stop.
Ah!
Yep. That's it. Where's Tom?!
Ah!
Ah. Ah!
Ah, ah, ah! No!
I hate you!
Let me out of here!
Hello and welcome to Taskmaster,
or as the oldies know it, the gritty reboot of Burgo's Catchphrase.
Or as the youth know it, the woke remake of Hot Dogs Up Late,
or as you and I know it, the season finale.
[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]
Racing towards the end of the competition for arbitrary glory,
and a yellow highlight around their name
on this season's Wikipedia entry
are Dave Hughes...
[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]
..Emma Holland...
[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]
..Lisa McCune...
[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]
..Takashi Wakasugi...
[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]
..and Tommy Little.
Hello. [CHEERING, APPLAUSE]
And next to me, the guy who wasn't sure about working for Channel 10
because back in the day, Cheez TV was too rude for him...
..it's Tom Cashman.
[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]
How are you, mate?
Not bad now I've got this.
Yeah, you've really committed, haven't you?
Yeah. I think now people are finally going to take me seriously.
OK.
Not in general, just when I say the phrase
"I wouldn't touch that with a 10-foot pole."
[LAUGHTER]
Because most people, when they say that phrase, people think,
well, they don't have a 10-foot pole.
Whereas when I say it, people are going to think,
"I've heard he actually has one at home."
It's not bad.
But do you think we should start the show again
without you holding it, just in case...
Just... Just so we've got options?
[AUDIENCE GROANS]
Like, seriously. Don't encourage him.
OK, let's have the last prize task for the season, please.
Of course our first task is a prize task.
Each of our contestants have brought in a prize,
and the winner of tonight's episode
will take home all five of those prizes.
Tonight, our contestants have brought in what they consider
to be the most satisfying thing to throw into the Grand Canyon.
Ooh! Tommy, what have you brought in?
Uh, mine's pretty self-explanatory.
Yeah, you all get it. Let's move on.
I don't get it. What is it?
I did the Celebrity Grand Prix,
and I broke the record for most number of cars written off.
And they told me I wasn't allowed to take any pieces of the cars.
But because I wrote off so many,
they couldn't keep track of them all, so that's the bit I have.
And I thought there's been plenty of scenes in movies
where people have driven cars, like, into the Grand Canyon,
but no-one's just thrown a bit.
Did you bring this in
so you could mention you did the Celebrity Grand Prix?
Yeah, amongst other reasons, yeah.
OK. It's not that big a deal. I've done it.
Have you done it? I've done it. Absolutely.
Lisa McCune, have you done it? No.
OK. No.
Why aren't you asking me? DAVE: Oh.
Due to your profile.
She's on the way up, though. If they bring it back, she'll be in there.
I'm on the way up.
And I'll be waving and going, "Can I come for a ride?"
I wouldn't touch it with a 10-foot pole.
[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]
Uh, Waka, what did you bring in?
I bought, uh, silicone.
Silicone? OK.
So I want to put the silicone to the Grand Canyon
and wait for a few, like 20 minutes, half an hour,
get... The silicone going to get hard, right?
And then you can play LEGO.
So you want to take a mould of the canyon?
Yeah.
And then pull it out and create a mountain range?
Yeah.
It's kind of cool. It's a bit [BLEEP] weird, but it's cool.
Uh, Lisa.
I have a lot of manuals at home for items,
you know, electronics, televisions.
And I would happily throw them all into the Grand Canyon.
That first one is an instruction manual for a toaster.
Yeah. I know.
Yeah, it might have some interesting functions that you might need to...
And safety warnings and things, but you can get them all online now.
You need instructions for a toaster
because sometimes it's like 1 to 10 and you're like
is that 10 like high in temperature or high in time?
Oh, my God. We get it. You have a rich-person toaster.
OK.
Well, you know, improve your comedy and you can get there too.
Dave. I brought in a big piano.
It's been in my wife's family for generations.
Oh, hang on. You brought in a rocking horse...
Yeah, I'm getting rid of some shit, I can tell you, so...
But this one...
Hang on. Are you just getting rid of your wife's items?
Well, I could win it back if I win the episode.
But, honestly, that is in our what we call the toy room.
And I want a table tennis table in there.
So, um, let's get rid of that one, so...
Uh, Emma.
Um, the thing I think that would be most satisfying
to throw into the Grand Canyon is the evidence.
[LAUGHTER]
Uh, the evidence of what?
None of your business, mate.
I feel like that's the end of a very long project.
It's so satisfying just to be like, "All done."
OK, well, I should give out some scores.
Yes, please.
Most of them were just using the Grand Canyon as a bin.
So starting at the bottom,
I'm gonna go with Tommy Little with one
just for a piece of car that he wants to throw in there.
Then Lisa's two points because it's some old used manuals.
And also I kind of feel like they should go in the paper bin recycling.
Three points to Hughesy for the piano because, again,
he's trying to get rid of some junk.
But then we move into fruity territory,
which is their speciality.
So I'm going to give four points to Emma
for trying to get rid of the evidence, because it was creative.
But five points to Waka because he's a fruit bat.
He's going to take a mould of the entire Grand Canyon.
[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]
OK, how about before we go any further,
you give us a series score update, Lesser Tom?
In last place, we have Dave on 115 points.
Next up we have Lisa on 130 points, Tommy on 133, Waka's on 146.
But out in front at the moment is Emma Holland,
with 161 points for the season.
[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]
OK, well, time to kick it off a task, please, Lesser Tom.
It's our final team task for the season.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Where do we go? Where is he?
Where's our Tom? Where's our Tom?
[DOOR CLATTERS]
Oh, that's cool. Oh, my God!
Jesus! Shit!
Oh, my gosh.
This is quick. This is quick.
Well, I reckon we can't muck about here.
Want me to do... Yeah.
..aggressive? Yeah.
Charge!
Your charge must strike fear into your enemy.
Your charge will be played back in super slow motion.
The charge that most strikes fear into an enemy wins.
A bonus point will be given... ..to the most formidable enemy.
You have 45 minutes.
Time starts now. Time starts now.
You know, the first thing I think of when I think of super-slow motion
is I think of Matt Shirvington sprinting.
Do you remember the package shots? Just me? You remember.
Do you know what we could do? What?
What are you doing?
Yeah.
I think I want to charge something big.
Global warming. Global warming? That's great.
We've got an idea, mate. None of your business.
[ROARS]
Plenty more where that came from, mate.
[ROARS FEEBLY] Don't give him too much.
Alright, shall we do global warming?
Yeah. That's a great idea.
It's so boring. Oh, Tommy.
Why? I'm picturing Matt Shirvington.
You can still do it. He can still do it.
Let's do global warming, then.
OK, so the teams are back,
so we've got the Aged Team and the Better Team.
And so all we're really doing is just looking for
the best interpretation of what an epic charge should be.
Charge that most strikes fear into an enemy wins.
And there's a bonus point for the most formidable enemy.
OK, which team is first?
It's Waka, Emma, and Tommy.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[ALL YELL]
[CONTINUE YELLING]
Hang on, I've lost my dick!
I've lost my dick.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Oh, no. Well, this is really making me rethink my actions.
Still unhappy we went with the whole global warming thing.
I think you look pretty happy. Yeah.
No, this is me unhappy. Oh, lucky man.
Good to see the straightforward comedy of Tommy Little has returned.
So let me get it straight. So Waka was hydroelectricity?
Yep.
Emma was solar power. Yeah.
And Tommy was the host of Sunrise.
That's a renewable.
Solar? Yeah.
And if I spin fast enough, it's a wind turbine.
Do you think anyone watching after that
will rethink their contribution to global warming?
Yeah, Greta Thunberg. Yeah.
How dare you?
[LAUGHTER]
Oi! You're not usually good at impersonation, but that one... Mwah!
Oh, my God, is that Greta? Was that supposed to be Greta?
That was meant to be, "How very dare you?"
Oh, my God, that's... I know.
OK, so you're hydroelectricity, Waka.Yep.
Water is everything, you know. Very important.
You make energy. And I'm very happy put water to the Tom.
Yeah. You did it to me.
Oh, true. A few episodes ago, I was throwing water bombs at you.
Oh, I see. It was revenge. Yeah.
It was revenge that took place
before the thing that you were referring to.
I tried to fake hold-back. OK.
It was good. Thank you.
It was good.
Alright, well, we might need to improve
our fortifications and garrisons, some more archers.
We'll take a break and see you back in the stronghold after this.
Welcome back to Taskmaster,
where we're in the midst of our final team task.
That's right.
Our contestants in teams are giving us their most fear-inspiring charge.
Tommy, Waka, and Emma just did one to end global warming.
Now it's Lisa and Dave's turn.
What's going on? Sit down, mate. Sit down.
You've got five minutes and 30 seconds left.
Yeah, come on, sit down. Sit on that.
No, that would hurt. Get off that.
Sit down.
You pretend to be ineffectual. You pretend to be weak.
You pretend to be no threat.
Reef knot? Sure.
Yeah. You're gonna cop it.
What have I done?
Come on. Three minutes. Let's go.
But you know what, Tom? No.
You're not our biggest enemy.
The real enemy will be revealed to you and everyone else!
Look, Tom! [YELLS]
It's the other Tom!
You, who are meant to protect him, will be powerless when we...
We're really running out of time.I'm just loving my speech.
BOTH: Charge!
Charge!
[DAVE ROARS]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
OK, it's time to blow it. It's time!
Get out of the way! It's time.
You don't want to go down with him. It's gonna to happen.
Two, one. RAAARRH!
We're CGI-ing it.
[DISTORTED YELL]
You're good.
OK.
Good to see the return of Evil Lisa McCune.
That was amazing. Honestly, we need another...
We did so good.
We need another 10 episodes. We're just warming up, baby, so...
I think the bald was an inspired choice.
I think you looked great.
You looked like Eminem in 8 Mile.
[LAUGHTER]
That's a very popular recording artist.
The more you...
It felt like a bit of a personal attack on me too, you know.
Did you not stop to think you were making the enemy
the person who was going to judge the task?
Yeah, but really, it was a compliment to you. Uh...
So I've got to judge this. It's the...
I'm looking for the greatest charge.
Charge that most strikes fear into an enemy wins.
OK, well, I mean, I watched two of them,
and I must say, seeing two people in their 50s
just run towards you is frightening.
And also watching two people with really high profiles
who don't even need to be on this program...
..acting in such a desperate fashion is fear inducing.
I'm worried it might be my future.
And also, I'm just not that intimidated by Shirvo.
I'm gonna go 5, 5, 3, 3, 3. OK.
Dave Hughes, you're a legend. We did it. And you were...
We also need one bonus point for most formidable enemy.
Well, so it's either me or global warming.
Yeah.
That's easy. It's me. OK.
Yes. Yes.
Because, as we all know, global warming is a hoax.
It's not even real.
Alright, what's the score for the episode?
Well, Tommy's in last place with four points,
but can you believe it, Dave's out in front on nine points.
[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]
Let's go.
Call me blunt, but all I can think to say is Task!
OK, Mr Blunt, it's time to get small.
Hi, Tom. Hi, Waka.
Hi. How are you?
I'm OK. That's good news.
Clean. Nothing.
Well... Task.
Yeah.I'm just used to some kind of prop.
Please.
"Complete the tiny worded task.
"There are 50 other tasks around the house."
"The tiny worded task is somewhere in the house."
"And it will be obvious what it is."
"For reference, this is a normal-sized worded task."
"If you open an incorrect task before moving on..."
"..you must do what it asks of you using a tiny voice."
"Fastest wins. Your time starts now."
This looks like a tiny task right here.
[TINY VOICE] "This is not the task.
"Discipline yourself in your tiny voice before continuing."
You have to discipline yourself in the tiny voice.
You don't have to read the task in a tiny voice.
[TINY VOICE] "Do better...
"..dickhead."
So I'm good? Yeah.
So keep moving? Keep moving.
OK, so you have to find the tiny-worded task
and then follow the instructions of any other task
you happen to find along the way.
And open, yes. OK.
Alright, Cashman, in the spirit of the task,
introduce it with a tiny number of words.
Emma, Tommy, Dave, go!
Oh, no. What?
There's heaps. There's 50.
Here we go.
Nag yourself in your tiny voice before continuing.
"This is not the task. Rebuke yourself in your tiny voice."
The reading doesn't have to be in the tiny voice.
It can be.
Is it anywhere in the house? Not just in here?
I'll move, I'm gonna move. I'm gonna move.
Not that bit of the house. This way.
The bit that we film in.
I don't know where we film!
Undervalue myself.
Jesus Christ, this is bad for my self-esteem.
No way I'm gonna get through 50. Oh, my God.
Think.
Breathe.
After all the self-criticism, I don't think it's helped me.
I need to talk myself up.
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
Thanks, Dave.
Is that it?
"This is not the task. Revile yourself in a tiny voice."
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
What?
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
After all that criticism, all I had to do was talk myself up?
Thanks, Tommy.
You've completed the task.
OK.
Thank you, Tom. I appreciate it.Thanks, Dave.
I can do it. I did it! I did it.Well...
I get it, man.
I'll tell you what...
I thought it was a great insight into your internal monologues.
You all had a lot to say about yourselves.
What were you inspired by, Tommy?
[TINY VOICE] I had a lot to work with,
so I think I just started at the top
and worked my way down, and picked an insult for each bit of the body.
Um, so Dave, it genuinely seemed like you went to a bit of a dark place.
Um, are you OK?
I worked through some issues, and, um...
I've got some more Dave Hughes quotes.
Yeah. Oh, God.
"Yucky, yucky, yucky. That's you."
[LAUGHTER]
"Your skin is so easily sunburnt.
"You never did get to six foot in height,
"just like your aunty said."
Emma, I'm glad you said that smugness wasn't an insult, by the way.
No, smugness was an insult.
But then she followed that up
by saying she has a reason to feel smug.
I still don't understand what's just happened.
So basically, your time ended when you bigged yourself up.
You just had to talk yourself up after talking yourself down so long.
It's pretty simple. Where was that written?
In the tiny-worded task. Yeah.
So what were the times?
So, Tommy, it took you 10 minutes and 40 seconds to complete the task.
Tommy completed it because he thought the word 'upbraid'
had a different meaning.
Upbraid means to find fault with or scold.
Emma completed the task in 13 minutes and three seconds.
Hughesy took 30 minutes and seven seconds.
OK, let's move on. We've still got a tiny task to find.
Next up is Lisa.
Your time starts now.
What?
Was that there before?
Oh!
Oh, my God, oh, my God. A false wall.
I might need a magnifying glass.
"Big up yourself. You deserve it. Fastest wins.
"Your time started when you entered the room."
"Big up yourself."
I don't understand. What does that mean, Tom?
"Big up yourself." Like, big yourself up.
Like make yourself bigger? Yeah, in an emotional sense.
Oh, OK. So I can just do that now so I can just kind of go...
"I'm bigger."
Thanks, Lisa.
Is it over? Mm.
What?! It was just starting to get good.
That's it. Thanks, Lisa. Really? No more? OK.
Oh. "Big up yourself."
I still don't understand.
Well, you found the task straight away,
but then you wasted valuable seconds before you big-upped yourself.
Did you not know what the expression to "big up yourself" means,
or was it because it lacked context
because you hadn't said anything bad about yourself yet?
That one. Because I didn't see any of the tiny tasks, really.
You didn't open one tiny task? No.
You're so humble you don't even know what "big up yourself" means.
I've never heard... Like, I know the term of, like, "up yourself",
but I've never heard anybody say "BIG up yourself".
I feel like she's never been up herself.
I'm up myself.
Say something about yourself that's good.
What's something you like about yourself?
Oh, there's so much.
I'm a really great mum. I'm a great friend.
Even after that my favourite way to big up yourself now is going...
.."I'm bigger."
[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]
I think we need to know how well Lisa did.
So Lisa read the task in one minute and 23 seconds
after entering the room.
But because she didn't understand what "big up yourself" meant,
it took her three minutes and 22 seconds to complete the task.
That's pretty good. Still pretty good.
Really happy with that.
Alright, time for an ad break.
What's been on your living room wall this whole time
that you haven't noticed?
And why did the eyes on that painting just move?
Back soon.
Welcome back to the season finale of Taskmaster.
Now, don't be sad it's nearly over, be happy that it happened.
Where are we, Lesser Tom? We're in the middle of a task.
Our contestants had to find a tiny-worded task
printed on very big paper,
then follow its instructions to big themselves up.
Lisa, so far, is the only person to have found this task.
Next up, will Waka be pulling a Shaka in this one?
Hello, Tom Tom. Hi, Waka.
Does it change? Did you see that?
I told you, I already feel something.
Strong power from there.
Fair enough. Something there.
Alright, can I open this one? Yes, please.
"Your time starts now."
Alright, so this is a normal-sized task.
That's normal.
And this is a big one? I don't have to open, right?
I can touch, I don't have to open. I just... I can tell the size.
50. 50.
OK. This is one I can find.
That's small, but it's not smallest, I can tell.
You're looking for a tiny-worded task.
Tiny WORDS.
So maybe this task has small, tiny words.
Alright.
[GROANING]
"..in the house, and it will be obvious."
OK, that's a hint. "It will be obvious."
So I might look for downstairs.
Here.
Here too, here too.
OK. Very confusing.
Somewhere in the house.
Do you have any, like, house, small house, toy or something like that?
House toy. Small house. Small house.
There's no house. There's no house.
Moo. Moo?
Moo. I just say moo. Why?
There's no meaning. Oh.
I think now is the time I should open one.
I think there's some hint there, so I'm going to open this.
OK. Oh.
Is this?
Is...is this tiny...tiny words?
"Big up yourself. You deserve it."
Oh, OK. Alright. Oh.
I'm strong!
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
[APPLAUSE, CHEERING]
Now, just to be clear, we'll all remember...
Waka, that portrait has been freaking you out for the whole series.
I know.
Every time you walk in that room and see that picture, it freaks you out.
Why is that?
Because it's pressure. A lot of pressure.
You know, you have to... You know, your eyes.
You have to be good. You have to be funny.
You almost found it straightaway. You pointed at it.
Yeah.
Even you felt the energy, I was sending you vibes through...
Yeah. ..through the picture.
And you didn't pick it up. Yeah.
I should believe myself more. Well, that's...
I feel like that's been happening to you throughout the series.
You're such a lateral thinker that if something just...
..if you deem it too obvious, so you just don't go for it.
That's Taskmaster disease. Yeah.
Well, I feel like we need a time.
And... Because, I mean, I still don't really know where they all land.
I'll tell you one time.
Waka noticed the tiny-worded task in five seconds...
..but took 19 minutes and 14 seconds to complete it.
So one point to Dave, two points to Waka,
three to Emma, four to Tommy,
and Lisa wins the task with five points.
I know, and she doesn't even really understand.
Alright, this train's rolling on. Give me another.
The next task is about comfort zones.
For example, my comfort zone is zone three.
What about theirs?
Come in. Hello.
Tom!
Hello.
Oh, this is lovely.
Oh, cosy. Coffee, yum.
Hot chocolate. Vegan.
There is milk powder in the cocoa,
so I don't think you can drink it, unfortunately.
That's aggressive.
A lot of feathers, I put here in case.
"Get out of your comfort zone."
"Most out of their comfort zone wins.
"Your out-of-comfort zone must not endanger your life."
"You have 20 minutes. Your time starts now."
Do I drink that? [LAUGHS]
I mean, the cow's already milked, isn't it?
So... This gets me out of my comfort zone for a start.
Oh, God, that's tasty.
I'm loving being out of my comfort zone.
So it's pretty simple. You've just gotta get out of your comfort zone.
Yeah.
OK, so were you out of your comfort zone having a hot chocolate
that had milk powder in the chocolate, but not the milk?
Yeah. I've been a vegan for six years now.
I don't know if I've told you, but, uh...
And so that is... Yeah, I'm disappointed.
Now you've done that, you might as well go back.
No, no. I... No, just don't worry about it.
No. I once had a bucket of KFC in that six-year period, but, um...
..it was only once.
It was one bucket. One bucket.
A bucket. It's such a funny slip-up.
"Oh, well. I might just have 40 chickens."
Alright, comfort zones are being stepped out of. Who's first?
Based on her name,
she's more comfortable competing in mixed martial arts,
the electronic kind, it's E-M-M-A, it's Emma.
Um, I don't like being cold and wet.OK.
Like acting, performing a monologue is out of my comfort zone.
Maybe I could perform a monologue wet.
A wet monologue? I can perform a wet monologue.
It's been five years since my last letter from him.
Five years since I heard anything.
A sentence, a letter, a whisper.
Sometimes I wish he was just dead.
It'd makes things so much easier.
I wouldn't have to imagine him with another woman.
I wouldn't have to imagine him
living the life he's living now without me.
I wanted to marry him, you know. I wanted it all.
I wanted the kids, a house with two French doors.
And yet here I am, scared, alone...
So wet.
When he gave me that ring, he said it was forever.
I guess he didn't think about forever when he died on that battlefield.
And I guess this is what it means to be a woman...
..during the war time.
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
I hate you.
Thanks, Emma. Yeah. I'll see you later.
Oh, that was beautiful.
Wonderful. It got me in.
So, giving a monologue that's out of your comfort zone,
is that real or...?
I'm genuinely crying because I could not watch that.
But you're a stand-up comedian. You do monologues for a living.
No, it's the sincerity of it. Oh, OK.
Like, sincerity... I don't think I'm very good at acting.
Like, stand-up's different. Um...
So it was really hard for you to watch yourself acting,
pretty much... Yeah.
..while sitting next to Lisa McCune, who's really good at it.
And I'm nearly crying because I thought it was so good.
Oh, my God.
I know this isn't relevant either, but it was also really fun for me.
Alright, time for a break. BBSYB - be back soon, you buggers.
Hello. Welcome back to Taskmaster, where we're halfway wet.
Some are getting wet, some are doing the wetting.
Everyone's uncomfortable.
That's right.
We've asked our contestants
to temporarily vacate their comfort zones.
Next up, it's our two most likely
to make a little noise when uncomfortable
because they're a bit older.
It's Dave and Lisa.
Is there a river? Nuh.
Have we got a river? There's a lake.
[DUCKS QUACK]
They're calling me, those ducks.Do you think?
Listen. [DUCKS QUACK]
Come, Hughesy, come. You can do this.
I'm in a... I'm in an environment that I don't know.
I could go bush. Just go into the trees?
[DUCKS QUACK]
Do the ducks have any thoughts on what's happening here?
The ducks are into it.
Wow, I've never been back here.
This is kinda cool. A tree fell down.
I'm not sure where to go when we make it over the other side.
Sorry. You OK?
I'm out of my comfort zone. I'm coming for the... Ducks, come!
You think it'd be bad to write on the side of the tree,
like, "Lisa was here"?
Is it cold? It's cold.
It's tasty, though.
I've got a couple of things in my pocket that,
just in case we needed anything.
How much stuff do you have in your pocket?
Well, I just bring it just in case I need it for any of the tasks.
I think I've won this challenge.You think?
I'm calling it. I won it.
What did you write? I just wrote "Lisa was here."
Should we leave a balloon? Maybe.
I feel like Mr Darcy.
I'd imagine the women getting hot and heavy right now.
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
Yep, thank you.
Oh, shit. I just lost my tape measure.
You OK? Yeah. No, it's all good.
Stuck? It's just... I'm a bit stuck.
Alright, I'll see you. Thanks, Lisa.
So, Lisa, for this whole series, have you had things in your pockets?
Yeah. Every morning I'd arrive at the house and I'd load up.
I'd scour everything and I'd stuff my pockets.
And it did occasionally come in handy as well.
Do you have any examples?
Didn't come in handy then.
Yeah, so how were you outside your comfort zone?
You don't like bushwalking or something?
Yeah, I was kind of thinking that
maybe I'd go and find something adventurous.
And then you wanted to write "Lisa was here". Was being...
Just to leave proof that I'd been there.
I mean, we were a long way. We went bush a bit.
We were in kind of on the borders.
It was getting dangerous where we were, and with a lot of snakes...
The place we went couldn't be more than 40 metres from the...
Yeah.
It was still really, really dangerous.
It was dark. It was wet. Yes.
Slippery. Frightening.
It was dark, wet. Tom was there.
So, Hughesy, what were you thinking?
Is surfing outside your comfort zone?
Yeah, there's a back story to it.
I dislocated my shoulder recently
in a horrendous surfing accident at the Gold Coast,
and so I needed to get back into the surf
to not let the ocean beat me.
Well, I think, to be fair,
I think you've really happened upon something there
because you were...you know, surfing's outside your comfort zone,
but also that...it was pretty cold.
Yeah, and I drank quite a bit of that lake and...
It's probably a good time to check in
with this season's E.coli levels in that lake.
Yeah, they're still sitting at "unnaturally high".
So you were paddling around in a lake full of shit?
Yeah. And it was really cold.
Yeah, absolutely. I think you did a great job.
I think it was. I mean, it's... Come on!
..outside your comfort zone.
It did not sound comfortable.
Alright, whose misery do we get to revel in next?
Suffering an awful accident, Waka.
Oh.
What's happened here?
Oh.
Is that an eye?
I suppose you can't really answer me.
You've got a ball in your mouth.
It's probably time to blink.
The eye's been open for quite a while.
Yeah. Wait.
This is Taskmaster. Sometimes makes me crazy.
And I have no idea what I'm doing. OK.
[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]
Ah, the wonderful world of Waka.
Thank you so much.
OK, were you outside your comfort zone, or is this another case
of you suffering from Taskmaster disease?
Yeah, that's a big part of Taskmaster disease,
but I kind of like it.
In what way were you outside your comfort zone?
So, I tried to do something very...uncomfortable thing
with something scary, you know,
something that watching the show and the TV with family like,
"Why are we watching?" something...
Oh. So you're just trying to give a bizarre performance
that's outside your comfort zone?
Yeah.
The problem is everyone's seen the whole series
and you've been doing bizarre performances
throughout the whole thing.
I didn't know...I'm not sure that one stood out.
To me, that seems like regulation Waka to me.
I wish that task in the first episode.
OK, alright.
This wet bacteria bush eye task reminds me I need a hydrologist,
gastronomist, environmentalist, optometrist check-up.
We'll be back after the break.
Welcome back to Taskmaster.
It's a bit sad that we're nearly at the end
of our final proper task for the season.
Yes, it's a space that's usually so comfortable,
but the task is for everyone to get out of their comfort zones.
Finally, the one that was definitely most uncomfortable for me,
it's Tommy Little.
Out of my comfort zone is most people's opposite.
I can't spend any time in a relationship.
Why is that?
Ah, they just don't seem to work for me.
Emotional intimacy. That's terrifying.
Mmm.
I'm terrified of singing. I'm a shocking singer.
Oh.
I don't think I've ever earnestly tried to do my best singing.
I'm gonna write a song and sing it to you.
Go, Tom Cashman, and return as my wife.
[POIGNANT MUSIC]
I just wanted to tell you that I know we've been through a lot,
but I still love you as much as the day that we first met.
Thanks for saying that.
# I've never met a woman like you before... #
[LAUGHS] Oh, God.
# I've never met a woman like you before
# I thought my heart was closed But you opened that door
# Because I'm committed to being committed
# We sit on the couch and we don't do much
# I tend to slouch and you no longer brush
# It's been 10 years since I said "I do"
# And now you don't shut the door when you poo
# But I'm committed to being committed to you. #
I love you, Tommy.
And I love you, Sandra.
Thanks for that.
Thank you.
[LAUGHS]
I feel like we need to talk about your costume, Lesser Tom.
Talk me through it.
You're up...you're upstairs. You've got your dress-up box.
What are you thinking?
Well, you're just seeing what's there,
and I've dressed up as a woman a few times on this show, so trying...
We all remember. Yeah.
And you're trying to choose different stuff, I guess,
and then I guess you realise that some of the best stuff
you've already used and... Yeah.
You do... I was in the zone ready for my wife to come out.
And I'll be honest, it [BLEEP] threw me.
Yeah.
I actually think that, Tommy, you were way outside your comfort zone,
but Lesser Tom, I think you were well inside yours.
Well inside.
I should give out some points here, yeah?
Yes, please.
OK, well, it's just a question of
who was the furthest outside their comfort zone.
I think Lisa McCune's full of shit, so she gets one.
You just went for a wander in the bush and emptied your pockets,
let's be honest.
Two points goes to Waka because it was just the wacky world of Waka
and I don't really know what was happening.
Three points to Emma because it was a really good monologue,
and you were literally uncomfortable because you were wet.
Four points to Tommy Little
because I think he was genuinely outside his comfort zone.
But five points because, I mean,
he was literally outside his comfort zone
because he was cold, swimming in a lake of shit.
Hughesy, five points.
Thank you.
And in terms of episode scores, it's taken until episode 10,
but Dave's finally in with a chance of winning one.
He's out in front on 15 points.
LISA: Oh, wow, Dave.
OK, with the last time that Lesser Tom
will be dressed as a woman behind us,
let's get up on stage and do the live task.
[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]
Lesser Tom, please commence proceedings.
I'll ask Dave to read this task.
"Fly a paper plane through this...
"..blade-less..." "..flue."
Is that what it says?
"..fan." "..fan."
"Each paper plane you make must have a name
"and you must say it when it commences flight.
"You must remain on your mat and you cannot move your mat.
"Fastest wins.
"A bonus point will be given to the best-named plane."
Let the plane-making commence.
[BLOWS WHISTLE] OK.
Emma's going with a multiple-page strategy.
Alright. Victory!
Wingman.
Big Bird. Nope.
Michael "The Chainsaw" Garrison.
Hughesy's Hopes.
Hughesy's Hopes have been dashed.
Simple Plane.
Oh!
That just looked like one fold in a few bits of paper.
Vag-Angela.
Oh. Angel.
Little Bird. Oh.
Multiple pages. Fold it in half.
Yep.
Emma seems to be teaching Dave Hughes how to make a paper plane.
Fold that there...
Hughesy's Heroes. ..then...
[AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS]
Tommy's first. Tommy's through.
First! Oh.
Amelia.
Oh, that was Amelia Earhart. She crashed.
Yeah.
Yep. Perfect, perfect. And then do that on the other side.
An episode of Play School is happening on the left there.
Thunderbird.
Hope.
Oh, OK. I'm now copying you.
Oh.
Emma.
Oh!
Come on. Team Effort. Team Effort.
BOTH: Yes!
That's through.
[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]
Well done.
Future Is Yours.
Slamuel.
Flamingo.
[CHEERING, APPLAUSE] Yes.
Lisa has come third.
Oh, that's through.
[BLOWS WHISTLE] That's the end of the task.
Alright, you'll have to fold up your anticipation
because we'll be back with a winner after this.
Welcome back to the season finale of Taskmaster.
We're down to the wire here.
Lesser Tom, take us through some scores for that live task, please.
Before I do that, I'd love a bonus point from you
for the best-named plane.
Uh, Team Effort. OK.
So in that case, Waka gets 1 point, 2 for Emma, 3 for Lisa.
Dave gets five points along with Tommy who won the task
with also five points.
So who wins the episode?
Incredibly, he's done it. With 20 points, Dave wins the episode!
[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]
Congratulations, Dave.
Go get your chattel of prizes.
Well, what have we learnt?
We learnt we can fix climate change if we just run at it hard enough.
We learnt that Waka has great searching skills
but poor doing-something skills.
And once again we learnt what Tom Cashman looks like as a woman.
But most of all we learnt that finally Dave is our winner.
Congrats!
[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]
LISA: Wow!
There it is, another season almost back in the sheds.
We've had desperate singles and awkward mingles,
the van keys were lost and the perfect level of suss was found.
Waka pierced his wenis
and Tommy fulfilled his wish of getting a bigger penis.
Lisa McCune went from Australia's darling to Australia's loosest unit,
Emma Holland campaigned for more titties on kids TV,
and Dave Hughes was also here.
And let's not forget Tommy Little's wise words...
[MAKES GARGLING SOUND]
And that means there's only one more thing to do here.
Lesser Tom, it's your time to shine.
Here are the overall series scores.
In fifth place, but with a place in all of our hearts,
on 132 points, it's Dave Hughes.
[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]
In fourth place, the other half of the A-Team,
on 145 points, it's Lisa McCune.
[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]
He's committed to being committed to third place -
on 149, it's Tommy Little.
[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]
On 154 points,
and this season's runner-up, it's Takashi Wakasugi.
[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]
Meaning, of course, that the winner of Taskmaster season 4,
on an incredible 172 points, it's Emma Holland.
[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]
Congratulations.
Oh, and that's it.
Congratulations, Emma. The winner of this whole season.
Goodnight!
My friend.
Do you have to [BLEEP] be so far away?
I'll be a minute.
Do you reckon it's a crime for me to be good at everything?
I'm African, you can't run from me!
[ROARS]
There's a lot of [BLEEP] cardio in this show, dude.
Let's go for broke.
I've got it completely under control.
Oh-ho-ho-ho!
Tom! I'm gonna bash you, Tom.
That's what you get for being a dick!
Hey, Tom. You suck!
Captions by Red Bee Media