- Paul!
- Yes!
- Hi, Mum.
- Au revoir!
- Yah!
- Oh.
- No!
- Ha ha ha!
- Ah!
- Kia ora koutou, and welcome to Taskmaster.
Tonight, five comedians will compete in a series of tasks
that are as frustrating as they are trivial
all in pursuit of this ―
- Ooh! - A beautiful golden trophy that previous winners have discovered
is massively undervalued at Cash Converters.
And those five comedians are
Alice Snedden...
...Bree Tomasel...
...Jack Ansett...
...Jackie van Beek...
...and Pax Assadi.
And to my left is a man who is saved in my phone as 'Leggy Brunette ― Work'.
It's Paul Williams.
I'd like a prize task straight away please, Paul.
- Of course, Jeremy. So, as always,
we've asked our contestants to each bring in a prize from home.
The winner of tonight's episode will take home all five prizes.
Tonight, we've asked them to bring in
the thing that is way heavier than it looks.
- Let's start with Bree.
- I think let's just show my prize that I've brought in.
Now, obviously, a child can lift it up. Not heavy.
Or so you think,
because I've filled this particular soft toy with two goon sacks.
Quite heavy ― one in the head, one that is in quite a precarious position.
- That genuinely is an unfortunate position for the nozzle of the goon, isn't it?
- You should see when you want to drink it straight from the sack to your mouth. Looks even worse.
- Alice, what did you bring in? - Again, I think we should just show it, really,
so that I can speak to what you see.
Yeah. - Aww.
- So obviously, Marley & Me ― it's a movie starring, as you can see,
Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson, and it features a dog.
What could seem lighter fare than that?
And then what's crazy about this film...
is the dog dies.
You cannot get through this film without crying.
Even now, it rips me apart.
Would you prefer if the dog was dead on the cover?
- I just think that would have been a more honest cover.
- Jackie, what did you bring in? - Did you just call me Jackie, or did I imagine that?
Oh, right. Sorry. - This is Jackie.
- Jackie's beside you. - There's a person next to you called Jackie.
- Yeah, sorry about that. I thought you just developed a pet name for me.
- Jackie, what did you bring in for me? - Well, Jeremy, I...
Sorry. As you were. As you were.
- Jackie, what did you bring in? - Well, I'd like― Sorry.
Just thought a woman-on-woman crime might be, you know... - All right, here we go.
- Jackie, what did you bring in―? - A cake!
I baked a cake.
- It doesn't look very heavy. - OK, it is heavy.
And because if you look at my second shot,
you'll see that I very cleverly managed to find three very large rocks,
stuffed them into the cake tin. - Wow. - Barely able to carry it.
- Jack, what did you bring in? - Me?
- Yes, you. - I brought in a Minecraft book.
Not very heavy at all, but if you open it, you'll see I have replaced the interior with,
um, The Boy In Striped Pyjamas...
...which is not a very light read.
- And at the end of it, the dog dies.
If you spell 'dog' D-A-W-G.
- Paul.
- Pax. - Yeah. Talk to me.
- What's your thing that you've brought in that's heavier than what it looks?
- You have a Pakistani mother, yes? - I have a Pakistani stepmother.
- Yeah, beautiful. - Yeah.
- Pakistani mothers ― they have a lot of, uh, expectation. - They do.
- So what I have brought in is the overbearing weight of the expectation of a Pakistani mother.
And to represent that, I've brought this.
My mother gives me one of these once every couple of months
hoping that it'll inspire me to take a paper.
- I know from my own experience with a Pakistani stepmother
that the weight of expectation of a Pakistani mother is intense and heavy.
- It's scary. - It's scary, but it doesn't surprise me,
so you get one point.
My mother is gonna beat me after this.
- I also have watched Marley & Me.
It is one of the saddest things I've ever seen in my entire life, so I'm aware of that.
So it's not heavier than what you'd expect. In my opinion―
- Yeah, but did you know that going in? - Absolutely.
Because people like you spoiled it for me.
So you get two points. - Fair enough. Yeah.
- Three points for Jack. - Yeah, still going with that.
Four points for Jackie, and five points for Bree.
Oh!
- OK, let's get into the first proper task, Paul. - Sure thing, Jeremy.
There's no I in 'team',
but there is ateamtask in myiPad.
Here it is.
Hello, Pax.
- Paul. - Hello, Bree.
- Jesus-ah!
- How are ya? - Good, thank you.
How are you? - Yeah, great. I'm doing real well.
- I'm sorry for my, um, exaggerated response.
I freak out when white people surprise me.
Gidday, mate! How are ya?
- How are ya? - How the hell are ya?
- Nice to see ya. Yeah. - Nice to see ya. Hey?
Yeah, great to see ya. - Good stuff.
- You look well. - So do you.
- You look real well.
- Hello, Alice.
- Hi, Paul.
- Hello, Bree.
- Moved my locker.
- It's just better angles to film. Cos, say if you had Bree's locker...
- I'm comfortable with this.
Don't look in that locker.
- Ooh.
'Out-alpha the rest of your team...
'..and assert...' No.
- '...and assert yourself as the dominant member.
'Most alpha wins.'
- 'Don't let the rest of the team know...
- '...or you'll receive zero points.
- 'You have until the end of your next task.
- 'Your time starts now.'
- This feels like a character assassination.
Do it! Now!
You're not doing it.
- I'm also an alpha. - Oh, you are too. Yeah, yeah.
- Pick that up, Paul. - No.
- Pick it up now!
Oh, see? I'm a natural, Paul.
- Well, no, white person...
- Jeez! - The captain has arrived.
- Jack Ansett. Jack Ansett. - Jack Ansett. Jack Ansett.
I don't really know him.
- Have we elected, like, a team leader yet or anything? - Are we supposed to do that?
- I think I should probably... - You do it.
- Yeah, you can be team leader. - OK. You want me to read it?
- Good to see ya. - I'll read this, eh?
- Nah, mate, I've got it. - Nah. Step aside.
- As team leader, I will allow you to pick it up, Pax.
- To be honest, I love reading it, and I love doing it for you. - Yeah, nice.
'Draw a portrait...
- '...that depicts the Taskmaster...
- '...that depicts the Taskmaster playing ping-pong.
- 'Best portrait wins.
- 'You must have at least one ball bouncing at all times.
- 'If no balls are bouncing, the task is over.
- 'You may only draw one line at a time...
- '...and must take turns drawing.'
- OK, I'll draw first. - Sorry, I haven't finished reading.
- Oh, OK. - Just give me a sec.
- 'You have 12 minutes maximum.'
- So my advice would be, when you're going to grab a ball, if there's two―
- What is it about you that thinks you need to tell two women
how to do something as simple as bounce a ball?
- I find that quite upsetting, to be honest, in 2025.
- Whatever's going on here has to stop.
- Alice and Bree, that is the most passive-aggressive meeting in the history of the show there.
It was full-on. - What a showdown.
- I still feel uncomfortable thinking about it.
Yeah, there was a real sort of toxic sexual energy.
- Jackie, had you met Jack at that stage?
Did you know much about him? - No. I thought, 'Oh dear. OK.
'Here's, like, kind of an excitable, young...'
- Leader. - No.
- I do feel I owe an apology to Jack.
I ran out of paper, and that's why these two didn't also get the task.
- Oh. - It was really confusing.
Cos I know Jack, and he walked in being like, 'I want to be the leader.'
And I was like, 'You're the least leadery guy I know.' - Yeah.
- Who are we gonna see first, Paul? - Up first,
it's Jackie and Pax being led by their undisputed team leader, Jack Ansett.
Thank you.
As leader of the group, I'm just going to say Jackie's gonna bounce, and we're gonna draw.
- But could you be sending us up shit's creek? - Should we have a new vote?
- What are we voting on? - No! - On the leader.
Who votes that Jack should be the team leader?
- It'll be a really good opportunity for me as a young person to step up into a leadershiprole.
You need to give me an opportunity to rise up in the ranks.
- What do you think the ranks currently are?
- Well, I just feel like I'm the least experienced.
- I would say the least successful as well. - The least successful.
- Financially, probably the least― like, the shakiest.
- OK, I'll give you money if I can be the leader.
- OK, 10 bucks. - Yep, done.
- I want Lego F1. - Done.
Don't blow your whistle yet, Paul. - Mm-hm.
- We're just going to have a practice. There's no pressure.
There's no pressure. - No, d-don't you― - Oh, sorry, sorry.
- God! - What are you doing?!
Can I make a suggestion? - Yeah.
I'll sit this one out. Yeah.
When Jack comes in, he doesn't touch the balls.
- Yeah, as team leader, I think that's a really good idea.
- Jack, when you draw... Oh God. - When I draw...
- When each person draws, say, 'Done.'
- Why are you repeating what I'm saying? Cos I'm the leader.
- Before we start, just because I'm the leader, it would really give me confidence
if you guys could go, 'Jack is the leader! Ooh-ooh-ooh!' - I will not do that.
- There is no way I'm doing that. - There is absolutely no way.
- I'll give you 20 bucks and another Lego.
Jack is the leader. Ooh-ooh-ooh!
On my whistle.
- Say, 'Done!' - Done!
- Done. Don't touch it. Go. - Done.
Go, go, Jack.
Don't touch it. Don't you dare touch it.
Don't even look at it. Don't look at it. - No, I'm not. I'm not.
- Good leadership, Jack. - Thanks, Paul.
- Don't touch it. - Not touching.
I'm making the decision to not touch, not you.
- Done.
Don't touch. - Yep.
Just a mental health check, everyone. How's everyone coping?
As the leader, it's a good thing check in on.
Pax!
What are you doing, Pax?! - No!
- What are you doing?! - What's happened? Where's the ball?
Oh my God! You got it. - Well done, Pax. Well done. - Quick, quick.
Done.
Someone's gotta call it when we think the drawing's gonna get worse.
- It's getting quite explicit. - Done.
And done. - Done!
Well done, Pax. - No balls are bouncing.
- Yep. OK. Excellent.
- I was just having a moment with Pax. - Yeah.
- Can we do that again, but just without..? - And can you not..?
- Go for it. I give you authority to do that as team leader.
- Jack, in your experience of alphas, do they normally bribe people to be the leader
and then just repeat what the other people say?
- Look, I did my best in a dire circumstance.
These two have the egos of, I guess, you. I don't know.
- Whoa! - And it was like― - Whoa!
- It was― - Unnecessary!
- No, just pipe down, bro. Pipe down!
Where was this energy during the task?
- The alpha task is over. - I'm not done!
- OK, I think it's best that we take a few minutes just to cleanse the studio of Jack's dominantenergy
- Thank you. - And we will see you after the break.
See you in a moment.
- Kia ora koutou ano. Welcome back to Taskmaster.
What were we doing, Paul?
- Our teams are drawing a picture of you playing ping-pong while keeping ping-pong balls bouncing.
On top of that, there is a secret side task where some of them are trying to out-alpha each other.
It's time for our team of two.
And this team ain't big enough for the both of them.
It's Alpha Alice and Big Dog Bree.
- So, do you understand the task? I can explain it to you if you like. - Nah, I got it.
Doesn't take long for me to...
- take it in. - Get that sort of stuff. - Yeah.
- So you understand? - I get it.
- I probably get it the most.
- Do you think you get it more than Alice? - Yeah, I think so.
I've got you. I am a leader, and I can sort this out.
- Yeah, I'm more kind of the quiet, confident type.
You've heard of those leaders ― your Nelson Mandelas.
- On my whistle.
- Drop the ball.
- Oh no.
I think both balls have stopped.
That's not true!
- Both balls had stopped. - I want a video replay.
Oh no.
Anyway, Paul, it's just been lovely.
Thank you, man. I appreciate that. - Thank you. Thank you. - Bree, what a class act.
Cheers, mate.
Yeah, sure. There, there.
There, there.
- What do you have in common, do you think, in terms of your alpha-ness with Nelson Mandela?
- Listen, I regret making that comparison, obviously.
I should have shown more deference to the great Nelson Mandela, but...
maybe he'd be flattered.
- Before you score the secret alpha task, the task did say,
'Don't let your team know about the alpha task.'
- OK. - So here's Bree and Alice right after that task.
I couldn't hear what―
- I couldn't make out any of that. - Did you make out what was said? I couldn't.
- Um, yeah, you were basically saying―
- I said, 'I'm so happy you had the same thing.'
- Oh, what were you talking about? - We were talking about the STI that we had.
Yeah.
- Sure. - Yeah, we both had syph― syphilis. - Syphilis, syphilis.
- OK. - And we were worried that we'd spread it to each other,
but it was a huge relief to find out ― no need to panic ― everyone in the interaction has syphilis.
- Do you buy that? - No.
- What?
- Why would we say on national television that we both had syphilis?
- That is a good point.
- No, it's not a good point. - OK.
- So first of all, let's talk about the drawing,
because that was the task, right?
Wow.
- So clearly, Jack, Jackie and Pax,
that's a better drawing than Alice and Bree.
- OK. - I would say four,
and I suppose you'd give that one. - Yeah.
- I have to give it one. It's something.
- If your kid brought that home, you'd put that up on the fridge.
I would not put that on the fridge.
- OK, so how do you want to score the alpha task?
- I think these guys don't get any points at all.
- Boo! What? - They knew. They knew.
- In all seriousness, I would just warn you about the optics of penalising two queer women.
Nope? OK.
Thank you.
- I think they minded. - My parents are refugees.
Sorry.
- Thank you so much. - I'm pescatarian.
You know?
- I've had a pretty privileged upbringing. Um...
- Sit down, sit down!
- The alpha task ― I think these two were disqualified.
Zero points for both of them. - OK.
- And then I reckon, Jack... Well, these guys didn't know that he was being the alpha.
They had no idea at all. - Not at all!
- He needs five. - Invisible.
- Five? - What?!
- For all three? - I think five for all three.
But was he being alpha?
- That's― That's crazy. - I suggest we move on.
Absolutely.
- OK. Where do the scores sit for the episode so far, Paul?
- Alice is in last on three, and first with 13 points,
Jackie van Beek. - Whoa!
Nice.
- OK, I am ready for another task, Paul. - Of course, Jeremy.
And this one's a piece of cake.
- Oh no.
- Paul! - Hello, Bree.
- Hi, Paul. - Hello, Jack.
Hello, Pax.
Hello, Alice.
OK.
- Ooh.
Birthday.
'Find your cake and eat it, too.' I love cake.
- 'Fastest to eat some of the cake wins.
- 'The cake is in this room'? Correct?
- 'Your time starts now.'
- Is it a trick? - What do you mean?
- But is cake― is cake a metaphor? - No, it's cake.
- Is it actual cake? - It's cake.
- Did you get my― Do you know I'm dairy free?
Do you know I'm gluten intolerant?
- Are you? - Uh, I can't say.
- OK, because I'm intolerant to your bullshit. - Oh my God. OK.
- Whoa!
That seems like a pretty simple task.
- Uh, I'll tell you what.
This is the one task I hoped was gonna get cut out of the show.
- Whose pudding pursuit are we gonna see first?
- Let's start with the single syllables ― Pax, Jacks and Bree.
- Sit up. Sit up!
Sorry for yelling.
- Do you know where it is? - I know where the cake is.
Oh.
Ohhhh-ohhhh.
- Right here.
Oh, it's not a cake! It's just made to look like a cake.
Ah!
That's not cake, man.
- That's icing as well.
That's icing.
- No. No.
No. No.
No.
Is this what you want, Paul?
Eugh!
Was that even icing?!
Is it, like, tar-based?
What is this?
- If I touch everything in this room, I'll find it. - Mm.
- Touch, touch, touch.
Touch, touch.
- This is a Citizen watch.
- Did you just put that in your pocket?
- Ooh, a sword.
- It's in this room? - Yes.
- Is it behind the crew?
This is a soundman.
This is a cameraman.
This is a photographer.
None of these people are cake.
I've lost my mind.
I miss my kids.
- It's looking like at this point, I'm not going to find it.
Who here is willing to accept some kind of bribe to forget about your jobs?
- They can't forget about their jobs. They have to man a camera.
Cameras aren't gonna operate themselves.
- Smells like cake over here. - It might be my Eau de Cake.
- These cameras have to be pointing at it.
Never mind. There's cameras literally in every direction. OK.
- I'm now reaching the point of, like, anger.
I'm getting to anger. - OK.
- Will I have to make a cake?
- Do I just allow myself to get to anger?
Or do I do what my therapist said and take myself out of the situation?
- I think believe in yourself.
- Whoo!
And in the meantime, I'll keep looking for the cake.
- Can you give me a hint? - If you give me something in return.
- I've got an old Prezzy card.
50 euros!
- Tell me the colour of the cake.
- What is the colour of the cake? - Black.
The cake is black.
- Black. OK.
- The cake is black?
you.
- Where else could I look?
- What?
Oh my God.
- It's cake.
- Here's your stupid cake.
- Thank you.
- Oh my God.
- Pax... - Oh my God.
- ...Jack, Bree, who had fun with that game?
- Yeah. You really edited that down.
- And for you, Bree, tell us about the range of emotions that you go through.
Because at first, I think you'd be optimistic.
- Yeah, I was really optimistic, and then I was, like, excited.
And then I was frustrated, and then I was a little bit horny.
And then I was, like, frustrated again.
- That was the only task I contemplated giving up. - I did too.
Yeah. I ate so much icing on fake cakes I had the runs after.
- How was the timing actually?
Because it seemed like, what, five, 10 minutes or something?
- Pax found the cake in 38 minutes and 29 seconds.
Bree and Jack ― you had almost the exact same time.
So Jack took one hour, five minutes, and 13 seconds.
- Hell yeah!
- Bree took one hour, five minutes and nine seconds.
- Ooh. - Wow.
- So, yes, only four seconds in it.
- Your cake... - Yes.
- What happened to that? - Because I was convinced it was a trick,
and I thought, 'OK, I'm going to have to make the cake myself.'
And as the cake was baking,
I pretty much walked straight back into the room and saw it.
My only regret is I didn't, um, put it in front of Paul like Trunchbull
and make him eat it like he was Bruce Trotter.
- So Jack's cake, um...
- Oh, it's lovely. - It looks not bad.
I ate it, and it was maybe the saltiest thing I've ever eaten.
It burned my mouth. It was like the Dead Sea times 100.
- And while our contestants were trying to find cake,
I found some of the most incredible ads you have ever seen in your life.
See you after the break.
- Nau mai, hoki mai, welcome back to Taskmaster.
We were halfway through an entirely original task that we've been calling is this thing cake?
Or is it something else instead?
- Up next, she's in the movies so she knows how to find the camera. It's Jackie van Beek.
- Oh, is it that thing?
No, that's fake.
That's, that.
Wouldn't you call that cake? - Mm-mm.
Sorry!
I do find it quite hard, like, just seeing stuff, actually.
- You need to think like a cake that's trying to hide.
- I― Sometimes I do that when I lose my sunglasses. I think, 'What are my sunglasses seeing right now?'
- What's the cake seeing right now?
- The cake's looking at me, can see me... - Right.
- ...and thinking, 'What a fool?'
- Oh, OK, I see the clock.
- Is that cake? - No.
- Is that the cake?
That's the cake.
God, and now I've got to eat some of it.
- Yes, please.
I'll stop the clock. - Holy crap! That was an excellent hidden cake.
- How did you guys feel watching that? Because that must have been kind of heartbreaking.
Mm. I feel like I need to up my Ritalin.
- Yeah. - I feel like I need to get on Ritalin.
But I will say that― Like, I didn't find the cake within 38 seconds.
- Sure. - I think it was still pretty impressive ― 9 Minutes, 49 seconds.
- OK, it was 9 minutes. - That's impressive.
- Well, there's still one to go, isn't there? - Yes, sir.
There's one slice left, and it's got Alice Snedden's name all over it.
- Icing? Does that count? - No.
- Ugh.
Everywhere's icing!
Ugh. Everything's icing.
- Favourite type of cake? - Carrot.
- I feel like carrot cake needs to stop highlighting the fact that it has carrot in it.
Don't name yourself after the worst thing about you.
It's like if I went around calling myself 'Paedophile Paul―' - 'Paul.'
Shockingly, that's not the worst thing about you. Paedophilia, I can forgive...
- But what can't you? - Hiding the cake!
- So what are you doing here? - I'm masking all the shelves that I've declared cake-free.
Where'd that come from? - What is it? - Has that always been there?
- You got it from up there.
And then when you brought the boat down, you also bought the seagull.
I'm blacking out.
- Usually I say we can't get the rights to that, but...
I don't think it's a problem, just― I don't think they're suing.
- Oh my God, Paul!
Can I ask you a question? Does the cake have icing on it?
- Yeah. Like, a kind of fondant. - Like a fondant.
- Yeah. - So it would look like an actual thing.
- It's cake.
- Is the cake behind me? - I can't say.
Paul!
Why is there a GoPro there?
- We've kind of got GoPros everywhere. - OK.
We're filming this, so, like...
- See him? He's a camera. Camera. Camera.
- Why would you make a cake for someone and then hide it.
- It's not hidden. It's in sight. - Well, in plain sight.
- Of course. - If I do this...
- Mm-hm? - ...have I just seen the cake?
I don't know what you saw.
Did you see the cake?
- Yeah. - What?!
So is it too my right?
- What will you give me if I answer that?
- You can have my entire fee for the show.
It's not to the right of you, but you do owe me $50 now.
- My shirt is not cake.
- The cake's not to the right of me. The cake is to the left of me.
It's not in there.
It's not to the right of me. It's not straight ahead.
It's to the left and it's not behind the cameras.
I will kill myself.
- Stop the clock.
I'm so sorry about what happened.
It's OK.
- Firstly... - Yeah. - ...are you OK?
No!
- It was truly, um― it was like a life lowlight and a life highlight at the same time,
because I did find it, but I did cry real tears, and watching it back now,
I am similarly moved.
Aww!
- So Alice found the cake in 1 hour, 22 minutes and 55 seconds.
- That's actually a lot shorter than I thought it would be.
- Honestly, it felt longer in the room.
- It looked longer. - OK, so what are the scores?
- So that means one point for Alice, two points for Jack,
three points for Bree, four points for Pax and five points for Jackie van Beek.
- Time for a break. We'll see you after this.
- Welcome back to Taskmaster!
All right, Paul. In the words of one of New Zealand's greatest ever children's shows, WhatNow?
- Jeremy, do you ever experience deja vu? - No.
- Jeremy, do you ever experience deja vu?
- Here's the task.
- Oh, my God. We've travelled back in time. Oh God.
- Hello, Alice. Hello, Bree. - Hi, Paul!
- Did it not work out? Did the cameras not record? I'm just gonna to draw―
I'm just going to draw the thing.
- I feel like we should read it.
- Well, I'm not the team captain any more, guys. I've decided to take a step back.
So you guys make the decisions, OK? - OK, sure, that's fine.
- My friend, Alice. - Yeah, we've made up. - I love her.
- Oh, nice. - You can read that. - Wow.
- You sure? - Yeah, go on. - That's so nice of you! Thank you.
Mandela-esque.
- 'Re-enact the moment the other team...'
- '...met for their first team task.'
- Most accurate re-enactment wins.'
- 'Paul may play the third team member.'
- 'One of your team members must play Paul.'
- 'You have 20 minutes. Your time starts now.'
- Do you know those guys well?
- I know Pax and Jackie. - I know Jack from watching him struggle at my gym.
- Oh no! They said they weren't gonna show that part!
I'm sorry, Jack. - Bree, please tell us, what's Jack like at the gym?
- I see him walking past me with a personal trainer. - Yep.
- He does none of the heavy weights.
- OK, Paul. Let's see our teams meet for the very first time
for the second time. - First up, it's Bree and Alice, as portrayed by the other team.
- EXAGGERATED AUSTRALIAN ACCENT: 'Aw, I'm Brianna! - ' Was that offensive?
Aw, gidday, guys! Oh my God!
How the are ya?
I'm on the radio.
- NORMAL VOICE We've all― We could all do that roll. - Yeah, so we can all nail that.
- Alice has moved to the UK. Maybe she has...
- Yeah, she's like... - 'Ello, governor!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - 'Ello!
- I think we should quickly audition for all three. I'm gonna start.
Um, OK, so you yell out a name. I'm just gonna work on instinct.
- Yell out a name. Shaquille O'Neal! - No― Quick, please! I thought this would be a quick littlefun thing.
- Let's say a name together. - Yeah.
- Three, two, one ― Shaquille O'Neal. - Shaquille... O'Neal.
Sorry, Jackie. We won't― We'll give you an actual character in this show.
- I'm just trying to be helpful. - Yep. OK. - I'm just trying to help.
- OK. - Shall I say them?
- Yes, OK. - This is Jackie van Beek's audition
for Shaquille O'Neal. - No. - Huh?
- No! - Oh, OK.
- Lets go get some things to wear, and we'll come back down, and we'll just 'yes, and' it.
We'll just do it.
Aww, gidday, guys! Gidday, Paul! How's things? Yeah?
- Hello Bree. - Paul, how's it going? How's it going?
Oh, me! It's Snezzo! Oh, maaaaaaaate!
'Ello, 'ello, 'ello!
- Hello, hello. - 'Ello, 'ello, 'ello, Paul!
I'm just come in from London, where I make television, yes?
- So Alice has been over in the UK. - Yeah.
- How long does it take someone to be over in the UK
before they develop a fully fledged London accent?
- Well, she's toning it down right now.
- Yeah, she's― She's putting on a Kiwi accent right now. - Yeah.
- Do your normal accent. Go on. - Um... 'ello, 'ello, 'ello!
It's-a me!
- Mario?! - Listen to Mario!
- Yeah, I'm not great at accents.
- Normally, I would critique people's performances, but seeing as they were playing you guys...
- Mm. - ...how would you critique their performances?
- Zero.
- I can't lie, I think Jackie did a very good me, and it was an honour and a career highlight
to have Jackie van Beek portray me. - And I would do it again!
- And I don't feel the same way.
- Who have we got left, Paul? - Representing for all the Australians
and the Victorian-era East London Cockneys, it's Bree and Alice.
- I think we cast Paul as the part of Jack. - I think so.
- I think you've got a Jackie energy.
Regrettably, to follow up with the whole Mandela thing...
I will be playing the part of Pax.
- I wouldn't say this if it was any other contestant, but... please no makeup.
- I reckon Pax is in first, Jackie comes in... - And Jack?
- I'd say he's quite, like, reserved, but then, if the task is to be alpha...
- Oh, yeah. - ...he's gonna have to overcompensate.
- Oh, I forgot they all― They all have to be alpha.
I wonder if he'd walk in shirtless with, like, a Rambo sort of tie on.
- Muscles drawn on, like a six pack.
- Well, that's not necessary with me.
- Um, Jackie, we're gonna go get you a beautiful costume.
- Maybe like a Cruella de Vil type fur jacket. - That's nice.
- Yeah. - And Pax, I feel like, would be playing Alpha by being comfortable.
Is it possible to get a full meal here? - Like a steak.
- Medium rare, please. - OK, we've got 13 and a half...
- OK, let's go. - OK, great. - Let's go.
- Hey, Paul. - Hello, Pax.
- Thank you for preparing the dinner I asked for.
- Bon appetit.
- Mm.
Whoa! - Oh, hi, Pax. - Hey, man, how you doing?
- Heya, Paul.
Hello, Jack.
- Oh my God, hey, Jackie.
- Hello, Jackie.
Pax. - How are you doing?
- Hi, Jackie. - How are we, man.
Paul. - My name's Jack. - Oh, you've not met―
- She called me Paul. - You look like someone I know.
- Wow. - Wow!
- Bree, the alpha energy in your performance there was palpable.
- Mm. And good opportunity to get the girls out on TV. - Yeah.
- You know, I've been waiting for that moment.
I feel like I'd portrayed your girls, in turn, to a t. - Identical.
- Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - I'd like to point out,
I think Paul did a great job of representing my girls as well.
- Yeah. - Yeah. - Agreed.
- So I think some people do better impersonations than others.
- OK. - And so I thought maybe I would just score
each member of the team individually.
- One point for Alice's Pax. - Oh.
- Cos eating a meal, I mean, that was...
- You should've done brownface. - Oh, come on, man.
- If I had had his go-ahead and advance...
...I would have taken the creative risk.
- I'll go two points for Pax...
- What?! - ...and your British accent.
That's absolutely a travesty.
- I'll go three points for Bree and her performance as Jackie.
Four points for Jack. Your Paul was good.
- Yeah, happy with that. - And I go five for Jackie's Bree.
I thought that was a very good Bree. - Thank you, Jeremy, and thank you.
Thank you, Bree. - Very good.
- Only one more ad break to go.
So let's get that out of the way now, and we'll see you soon.
- Welcome back to Taskmaster.
And if you're an Australian New Zealander and you've just joined us,
please rest assured that there were no offensive Australian accents at any point in the telecastso far.
Paul, how's our scoreboard looking?
- Alice is in last with five points,
and in first with a whopping 23 points, it's Jackie van Beek.
- Whoo! - Who knew?
- Time to head up to the stage for the final task of the show.
OK, Paul, who's reading the live task? - Jackie van Beek.
- 'Display as many emotions as you can in four seconds.
'Most correct emotions guessed by the Taskmaster wins.
'You will be given 16 seconds to arrange your emotions on the rack in front of you.
'You must then perform your emotions in that order.
'The Taskmaster will review the footage in slow motion.'
- So I'm gonna give you 16 seconds to arrange your tiles.
- OK. - Are you ready? - Ready.
Oh, Christ.
Oh! Big mistake.
- Hands away, Pax.
- I'm just putting mine on neatly. - Yep.
- Yep. Ooh. Yep. OK.
- OK, stop knocking them off, Jack. - Yep. Sorry.
- I can see what you're doing. - Oh, shit, sorry. - Oh my God, he's still going!
- It's just, again, he's very uncoordinated.
Four seconds. Are you ready? - Yep.
- I'll count to three, and then I'll start. - Oh God.
- OK. - I'm so nervous!
- One...
I'll count down from three. - Oh my God, Paul!
- Three,
two, one,
emote!
No more, No more.
- All right, everyone. Come on down, and let's judge it.
- So we're going to now watch the emotions.
- And I'm gonna guess them as we go. - Correct.
- OK. Start with Alice?
Anger.
Relief.
Fear.
Sickness?
- Oh, you got a bunch out. - You got heaps out.
- Joy.
- You got quite a few in there, Ellis. - Yeah, you got heaps.
That last one was personal.
- So you got two. - Two, Alice.
- Mm-yeah. - You don't seem very happy.
No, I think I did better than that.
- Up next ― Bree.
- Excitement.
Sadness.
Oh, anger.
Relief.
Disbelief. - That's not one of the emotions.
- Wow. - What is that?
- I think the audience knows.
- So you did get three. - I'm happy with that.
- Jack. - Oh God.
I look ill.
Oh, pretty good!
- Rel― Disbelief?
- No.
- Sadness.
Disgust.
- Oh, this bit went really long.
- Fear. - No!
Oh my God!
- That was fear. - It was surprise!
Ohhhh!
- It looked like fear!
- I'm worried that you're not familiar enough with emotions to be...
- Yeah, this is on you.
- So you got sadness and disgust. - OK.
- Up next― - An actor of some note.
- Mm. - Mm.
- Jackie. - This will be interesting.
Sadness. - Very good.
- Excitement. - Ooh.
- Anger.
Fear.
- Surprise. - Surprise. - Oh, sorry.
Sorry. - Relief.
- What are you locking in there for the last one?
- I'm gonna go with relief.
- So you got sadness, anger
and fear. - Yeah. I think I'm useless at this game.
- So, up next ―
Pax.
- Anger.
- I don't think it started yet.
- Happiness.
Sadness. - Very nice, Pax.
- Fear. - Oh, OK.
- No, that was specifically how I felt when Jack tried to be the leader.
- OK, so just give a point for each of those.
Is that the way to go? Twos and threes?
- So that means two points for Alice and Jack
and three points for Bree, Jackie and Pax.
There we go. Good one.
So what does that mean for the scores for episode two?
- The winner of episode two with 26 points ― Jackie van Beek!
- There we go. - Congratulations, Jackie.
It's now your responsibility to remove these five heavy things from the studio tonight.
Off you go. Go and grab them. Congratulations. Go have some goon, Jackie.
Get into that goon!
- And thank you so much for joining us for another episode of Taskmaster.
Tonight we've learned,
you're either born an alpha or you've bribed someone with Lego;
and there's nothing more devastating than looking for cake.
But most importantly, we've learned that the winner of episode two is Jackie van Beek!
Oh wow, wow!
Oh, whoa! Whoa!
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