1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,159 (WHEEL CLICKS) 2 00:00:02,160 --> 00:00:04,159 - Paul! 3 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:05,199 ('TASKMASTER' THEME MUSIC) 4 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:07,200 (POP!) 5 00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:08,999 (KEYS CLACK) 6 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:10,319 (LEAF BLOWER WHIRRS) 7 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:11,119 (PLAYS SCALE) 8 00:00:11,120 --> 00:00:11,999 (KEYS CLACK) 9 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:13,079 (THWONG!) 10 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:14,359 - Yes! 11 00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:16,360 - Hi, Mum. 12 00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:18,239 - Au revoir! 13 00:00:18,240 --> 00:00:19,319 - (ROARS) 14 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:20,359 (KEYS CLACK) 15 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:20,959 - Yah! 16 00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:21,559 - Oh. 17 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:22,279 - No! 18 00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:23,239 - Ha ha ha! 19 00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:25,240 - (GASPS) 20 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:27,159 - Ah! 21 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:29,160 (STAMP THUDS) 22 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:31,559 (TYPEWRITER KEYS CLACK) 23 00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:33,559 (DING!) 24 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:35,560 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 25 00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:38,799 - Nau mai piki mai, and welcome to Taskmaster. 26 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:43,119 My name is Jeremy Wells, and six years ago, while on a high school field trip, 27 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:50,319 I was bitten by a radioactive and judgemental spider, who was particularly good at readingautocue. 28 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:54,479 Since then, I've had no choice but to wield the great responsibility 29 00:00:54,480 --> 00:01:00,360 of being a friendly neighbourhood taskmaster. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 30 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:06,559 And joining me on my hero's journey are four New Zealand comedians 31 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:11,039 and also one Australian, who lied on the forms and tricked her way in. 32 00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:14,679 Please welcome Alice Snedden... (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 33 00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:16,999 ...Bree Tomasel... (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 34 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,159 ...Jack Ansett... (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 35 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:21,479 ...Jackie van Beek... (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 36 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:24,960 ...and Pax Assadi. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 37 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:33,839 And to my left in a lower chair and a lower tax bracket, it's my loyal assistant, Paul Williams. 38 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:35,840 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 39 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:41,919 - Methinks we shall begin with a riddle. 40 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:42,639 - Hmm. 41 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:46,040 - I lie beneath a diving board. 42 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:47,839 - Swimming pool. - Yup. 43 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:49,840 (LAUGHTER) 44 00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:52,080 (MOUTHS) 45 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:54,679 - That was quick, wasn't it? 46 00:01:54,680 --> 00:02:00,479 All right, Paul, what have we asked our contestants to bring in for the prize task this week? 47 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:06,159 - We've asked our contestants to bring in the thing with the most feline energy 48 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:09,240 that is not related to cats in any way. 49 00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:10,919 (LAUGHTER) 50 00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:12,799 - Pax, shall we start with you? 51 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,839 - Jeremy, correct me if I'm wrong, but you have a Persian father? - I do. 52 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:19,799 - And so you're aware of how hairy Persian men are. - Oh yeah. 53 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:21,199 (LAUGHTER) - Oh yeah! (LAUGHS) 54 00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:25,239 Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're also aware of how indifferent they are to your success. 55 00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:30,439 You're also aware of how when they walk into a room, they expect food to be there. 56 00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:35,920 And you're also aware of how they shit in boxes of dirt. (LAUGHTER) 57 00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:42,319 So I've brought a tincture of my real Iranian father's Iranian chest hair. 58 00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:43,919 - JACK: Ohhh... 59 00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:45,920 Wow. (LAUGHTER) 60 00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:50,079 - You weren't just looking for an excuse to shave your dad, by any chance, were you? 61 00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:53,999 - Oh, I don't need an excuse. We shave each other weekly. (LAUGHTER) 62 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:57,119 - It wouldn't have been easier, maybe just to shave yourself and bring that in? 63 00:02:57,120 --> 00:03:00,639 You don't display the same type of feline energy? 64 00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:02,999 - Yeah, shit, that would've been way easier, yeah. (LAUGHTER) 65 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:04,199 - Alice. - Yes. 66 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:05,319 - What did you bring in? 67 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:11,999 - Well, I think we can all agree that cats are, of course, known for being the sexiest animal. 68 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,199 (LAUGHTER) 69 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:18,239 So I thought, well, what's the sexiest other kind of item I could think of? 70 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:21,079 And that's why I've brought in, um... 71 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:23,039 Yeah. - Oh. - BREE: Yeah. 72 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:28,279 - It's a slinky, yeah. And if you've ever seen one of those things go down a set of stairs... 73 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:32,359 - JACK: Yeah. - Oi, you gotta do that in private. (LAUGHTER) 74 00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:33,839 - Bree, what did you bring in? 75 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:39,439 - Look, Jeremy, I think we can all agree that cats are unpredictable, shifty, 76 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:44,720 and I think something that holds all of those qualities is this. 77 00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:49,120 A pair of transition lenses. (LAUGHTER) 78 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:53,999 People who wear them, you can't trust 'em. 79 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:58,559 They go outside; they change colour. They go inside; they might change colour ― they might not. 80 00:03:58,560 --> 00:03:59,399 (LAUGHTER) 81 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:02,439 - You didn't just buy these, and now you just wanna get rid of them? 82 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:05,199 - They did cost me a lot of money, and... (LAUGHS) (LAUGHTER) 83 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:07,639 ...at least I'm getting some use out of them, Jeremy. 84 00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:09,319 - Jackie, what did you bring in? 85 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:14,159 - I think we can all agree that everyone has started their sentence with 'I think we can allagree', 86 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:16,279 so I was just like, I should― OK― Well, like, I think we can all agree... 87 00:04:16,280 --> 00:04:18,279 - It's a good way to start. - ...and I haven't thought beyond that. 88 00:04:18,280 --> 00:04:22,159 I think we can all agree that, um... (LAUGHTER) 89 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:28,639 ...that I searched the world and the interior of my mind. I found nothing within my mind, 90 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:31,520 but within the world, I found this. 91 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:35,959 (LAUGHTER) - I'm sorry. I don't agree. - What is that? 92 00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:36,959 - It's a possum, is it? 93 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:39,999 - All I would like to say ― and I don't wanna take up too much of your precious time ― 94 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:42,720 is 100% feline energy 95 00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:46,839 and 100% nothing to do with a cat. It's a possum. 96 00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:53,119 - It's 100% possum energy. - Yeah. If the task was bring in a possum, you would win. 97 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:54,639 (LAUGHTER) 98 00:04:54,640 --> 00:05:00,239 - No, no, if the task was bring in a possum, I'd say this didn't cover. (LAUGHTER) 99 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:01,639 - Jack, what did you bring in? 100 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:06,520 - After a few days of just staring at my cat for inspiration, 101 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:10,040 I got this portrait commissioned... 102 00:05:10,280 --> 00:05:12,280 um, of... (LAUGHTER) 103 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:16,919 - BREE LAUGHS: Oh my God. - ...of, um... - (LAUGHS) 104 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:18,999 - Holy... 105 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:22,640 - ...um, me licking my own genitalia, so... 106 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:27,079 - Oh man. I've never felt more motivated to win the episode. (LAUGHTER) 107 00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:30,439 - If you are motivated to win this episode, you're gonna have to come from behind, 108 00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:34,719 because I think one point for you and your slinky. - PAX: Wow. 109 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:37,919 - Also, I think one point for Bree with the glasses. 110 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:40,439 And then I go two points for Jackie. 111 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:42,319 I'll go three points for Pax. 112 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:45,639 I would've given you four points if you had've brought in your mum's pubes. 113 00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:47,640 - Yeah. (LAUGHTER) 114 00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:51,799 Yeah. - And I'll go five points for Jack, because as people know... 115 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:53,800 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 116 00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:59,719 ...whenever a Taskmaster contestant licks his or her own genitals, you get maximum points foranything. 117 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:04,959 - Oh, thank you, Jeremy, yeah. - That is enough prize task patter. 118 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:07,439 Let's get to the first proper task of the show. 119 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:12,640 - Say less, Jeremy. This task is an emotional roller-coaster. 120 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:14,760 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 121 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:20,879 - Paul. - Hello, Alice. 122 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,479 Hello, Jack. 123 00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:26,479 What was that? - Just Taskmaster. - Thank you for repping the brand. 124 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:28,480 - Shall I? - Yes, please. 125 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:30,920 - Egg. 126 00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:36,159 - Out loud, please. - Sorry. (LAUGHS) 127 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:39,319 - READS: Drop an egg from the roller-coaster and hit the bull's-eye. 128 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:42,999 - Where's the bull's-eye? Can I see that from here? - This will be the bull's-eye. 129 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:43,839 - Oh wow. 130 00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:45,479 - 'You have one ride of the roller-coaster...' 131 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:47,079 - '...and one egg.' 132 00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:49,959 - 'Paul can ride on the roller-coaster in your stead.' 133 00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:52,439 - 'He will release the egg when you command him.' 134 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:54,759 - 'You must break up with the egg before it is released.' 135 00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:57,919 - So I gotta, like, break its heart. - Mm-hm. 136 00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:01,159 - 'A bonus point will be given for the most dramatic break-up.' 137 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:02,839 - 'Closest to the bull's-eye wins.' 138 00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:04,119 - 'Your time starts now.' 139 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:08,119 - I got married when I was 21, and I'm 34 now, so, like... 140 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:10,759 - ...the concept of a break-up... - ...feels so foreign. - Yeah. 141 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:13,239 - Can we get some lawyers? - OK. 142 00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:16,199 - Oh, I do love when there's no lines. 143 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:18,159 (APPLAUSE) 144 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:23,599 - Are we sure whether we want old Licky-Licky over here repping the brand for Taskmaster. 145 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:25,679 - PAX: Licky-Licky! - Licky-Licky? 146 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:29,239 - Five points. - All right, mate. You were enjoying it five minutes ago. 147 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:31,240 (LAUGHTER) 148 00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:36,559 - All right, I'm ready to see some breaking up and some throwing down. Who have we got first, Paul? 149 00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:40,439 - Making an egg crackie, it's your old mate Jackie. 150 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:42,399 - I think you're on the roller-coaster. - WHISPERS: Yuss. 151 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:46,559 - I'm gonna do some break-up stuff, and then I'm gonna yell out, 'Bull's-eye!' 152 00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:51,359 - My advice would be to go a little bit earlier than you think. - We'll see. 153 00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:56,399 - Just cos the momentum. - Ehh, we'll see. - OK. It's just advice. 154 00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:58,519 - I'm saying good luck. - Oh. 155 00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:00,439 - Don't let me down. 156 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:02,920 Cue roller-coaster, please. 157 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:06,759 EMOTIONALLY: OK, Egg, now, when I called you an egg, it's because you are one, 158 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:08,319 but when you called me an egg... 159 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:11,519 I mean, I just don't think it's working when you start calling me names. 160 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:12,999 I'm out. OK. Yep. 161 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:16,599 What? No. Don't do anything unexpected. You stay belted in, little one. 162 00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:19,479 There's more to life. Don't give up. No! Bull's-eye! 163 00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:21,079 SLO-MO: No! Bull's-eye! 164 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:23,480 DISTORTED: No! Bull's-eye! 165 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:31,080 (SOBS) 166 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:34,440 (APPLAUSE) 167 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:39,039 - Jackie, Paul doesn't normally give advice. 168 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:41,639 - I understand I'm not gonna win this round. OK? 169 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:45,959 So I'm gonna take the opportunity to say I do regret not listening to you, Paul. 170 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,919 That was my first day on the game. I didn't know you. I didn't trust you. 171 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:52,799 I didn't necessarily like you on that first day. (LAUGHTER) 172 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:57,559 - How awkward was the hug? - I know. I really went for him. - He― Paul... Paul was like... 173 00:08:57,560 --> 00:09:00,119 - He recoiled. - What were you scared of? 174 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:03,719 - I'm scared of nothin' but the po-lice. (LAUGHTER) 175 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:05,800 - ALICE LAUGHS: Oh my God. 176 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:11,079 - Right. That's enough egg-breaking and egg break-ups for now. 177 00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:15,919 Now it's time for my third-favourite kind of break ― an ad break. We'll see you after this. 178 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:17,919 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 179 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:19,960 (QUIRKY THEME MUSIC) 180 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:25,400 (QUIRKY THEME MUSIC) 181 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:27,600 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 182 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:31,319 - Nau mai hoki mai. Welcome back to Taskmaster, 183 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:34,999 where the good people of Rainbow's End have allowed us to use their roller-coaster 184 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,599 with seemingly no supervision. (LAUGHTER) 185 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:39,159 OK, Paul, what's happening? 186 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:43,919 - Our contestants have been breaking up with eggs before throwing them from a roller-coaster. 187 00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:46,799 Their target ― a very large target. 188 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:48,399 So far, we've seen Jackie. 189 00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:52,480 Up next, the A Team ― Assadi, Ansett, Australian. 190 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:54,800 It's Pax, Jack and Bree. 191 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:56,759 - Where do you wanna ride, Paul? 192 00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:58,959 - I was gonna stand down by the target. 193 00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:03,599 - Oh, OK. Really thought you'd be on with me. That's fine. - OK. 194 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:06,359 You want me to ride with you? - Yeah, for moral support. 195 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:10,440 - Why wouldn't you? We can have fun together. - OK. 196 00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:12,919 - OK. 197 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:17,079 - You know what makes me feel comfortable, Paul, is that we're doing up our own seatbelts (!) 198 00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:20,359 - You― You guys got a professional to, um, check this? 199 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:21,639 - I think that looks good. 200 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:25,639 - Nothing at all to worry about. Nothing. OK. All right. OK. Here we go. 201 00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:26,519 - Here we go. 202 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:27,799 - Oh, here we go. 203 00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:32,479 - After everything we've been through, you lying... you lying scum! 204 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:38,319 - I feel like this is our whole relationship ― there's highs and there's low lows. 205 00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:39,359 - What have I done this time? 206 00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:40,999 - I knew you were (BLEEP) the neighbour. 207 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:44,400 - I can't take the low lows any more, Paul! 208 00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:45,799 - Are you talking to me or to the egg? 209 00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:47,319 - Sorry, man. I'm really sorry about this. 210 00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:49,279 - Oh, there's the Southern Motorway. OK. 211 00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:54,159 - I didn't even wanna come on this stuuuupid ride! Oh my God! 212 00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:56,199 - Aah! Aargh! 213 00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:58,199 - I've got a lot of work to do. 214 00:10:58,200 --> 00:10:59,519 - You're an arsehole! 215 00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:01,039 - You know what ― stop yelling at me. 216 00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:04,239 - Yeah, I'm gonna― I'm gonna kill you. No. Aargh! 217 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:06,719 - I've had enough. I've had it. 218 00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:08,760 - AUDIENCE: Ooh. 219 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:11,680 - It's over! It's (SLO-MO) over! 220 00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:15,079 - SLO-MO: Aargh! 221 00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:16,559 (AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS) 222 00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:19,399 Oh no! It went in the bush. It went in the bush. It went in the bush. 223 00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:21,400 (LAUGHTER) 224 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:25,399 - Did you see where the egg landed? 225 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:28,519 - Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's on the other side of this fence in the bushes. 226 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:30,439 - It's over here somewhere. - Yeah. 227 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:35,319 How did the break-up go? - I called everyone a dog, I think, and then I threatened to killthem, 228 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:38,119 and, yeah, I just wanna make it clear that I'm not gonna kill anyone. 229 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:41,519 It was just an outburst in the heat of the moment. 230 00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:45,239 I know I look like David Bain, but... it's not― yeah. 231 00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:47,240 - OK. 232 00:11:47,680 --> 00:11:49,680 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 233 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:54,599 - Pax, it was interesting, because everyone else seemed to be having an argument with their egg, 234 00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:57,119 sort of having a go. You were almost apologising and saying, 235 00:11:57,120 --> 00:12:00,759 'What have I done wrong?' which probably has an indication of about how your relationship'sgoing. 236 00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:03,839 - Yeah. I didn't really break up. I just― My marital issues just came out, 237 00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:06,319 and I just let them― I let them out on an egg. 238 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:08,639 - Yeah, well, I see that you were apologising to Paul 239 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:10,279 for having that argument with the egg in front of him. 240 00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:14,879 - ...in front of him, and, yeah, I'm really sorry you had to witness that, Paul. It got really ugly. 241 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:16,279 - That's OK. - Yeah. 242 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:20,639 Jack, your explanation that you weren't going to murder someone ― 243 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:24,839 for some reason, I don't know why, but I just didn't buy it. - LAUGHS: OK. 244 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:29,639 Yeah, I would like to re-emphasise that I have no intention of, um, killing, uh, anyone. 245 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:32,479 - That's exactly what a murderer would say, dude. - Yeah, it is. 246 00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:37,359 - Once we're at the point we're already having to make declarations about how you won't killpeople, 247 00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:39,879 the ship's kinda sailed. (LAUGHTER) 248 00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:45,759 - All right, who's up next, Paul? - Up last but not least, it's Snedden vs Egg. 249 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:48,839 - ALICE: Please stand, Paul Williams. - Thank you, Your Honour. 250 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:50,439 Fine people of the jury. 251 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:52,640 Tiny Tim is an egg. 252 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:55,280 Egg is an egg. 253 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:57,760 Ms Snedden is a human being. 254 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:00,559 Eggs belong with other eggs. 255 00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:01,919 - That's bullshit. 256 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:02,919 (DRAMATIC MURMURING) 257 00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:04,839 (GAVEL BANGS) Quiet! Quiet in the court. 258 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:06,759 Sure, I might not be an egg, 259 00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:10,719 but that doesn't mean I can't understand what it's like to be a scared little boy. 260 00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:11,519 - (SOBS) 261 00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:14,399 - And you know what he needs more than anything to keep him from cracking ― 262 00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:16,799 a pair of soft hands to carry him. 263 00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:20,319 How is the egg gonna do straightforward things with Tiny Tim? 264 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:24,519 Can he take him to the park? Can he take him on a roller-coaster, for all I care? Canhe? 265 00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:28,999 - Objection. They could, uh, just kinda loosely roll around in the leg area. 266 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:30,359 (GAVEL BANGS) - Overturned. 267 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:33,040 (DRAMATIC MUSIC DROWNS SPEECH) 268 00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:35,440 (LAUGHTER) 269 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,120 (GAVEL BANGS) Quiet in the court. 270 00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:49,239 To prove that he is a fit father, Egg must ride a roller-coaster one time. 271 00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:52,279 If he can complete the roller-coaster without smashing, 272 00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:54,559 he will receive full custody of Tiny Tim. 273 00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:55,759 Your Honour, no, I will not― 274 00:13:55,760 --> 00:14:00,199 No, I don't wanna hear it. This is completely normal and within my jurisdiction. 275 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:02,200 (LAUGHTER) 276 00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:05,719 Are you scared? 277 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:08,319 - No, but please let me talk to my client. 278 00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:09,959 (LAUGHTER) 279 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:12,719 In all my years as a legal professional... 280 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:14,159 (LAUGHTER) 281 00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:16,599 ...I've never seen this before. 282 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:20,639 You― You just have to survive this, and you'll be back with your kid. 283 00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:22,640 (LAUGHTER) 284 00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:24,679 - And drop. 285 00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:26,279 SLO-MO: Drop. 286 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:27,799 - AUDIENCE: Ooh! 287 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,799 - SLO-MO: Drop. 288 00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:31,880 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 289 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:41,560 (LAUGHTER) 290 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:43,639 It didn't go well. 291 00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:45,640 - My client is dead. 292 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:50,959 - I wouldn't say it's a good result. - Thank you, Alice. Congrats on winning the case. 293 00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:52,960 - Thank you. 294 00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:55,720 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 295 00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:57,920 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 296 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:01,279 - OK, just a couple of quick questions for you. - Yeah, sure. 297 00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:04,440 - So, was Tiny Tim your child? 298 00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:07,239 - Yeah, so it's interesting. Um... (LAUGHS) (LAUGHTER) 299 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,159 Do you know what ― I think in hindsight, 300 00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:14,999 what's made it quite complicated to understand is that I'm doing multiple characters' voices. 301 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:16,479 - Mm. - And, unfortunately, 302 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:21,439 I don't have the ability to modulate and/or change my voice whatsoever. (LAUGHTER) 303 00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:24,959 But then at the end, I clearly just kind of lost interest in the whole thing... 304 00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:28,639 - Yeah. - ...and I left Tiny Tim behind. (LAUGHS) 305 00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:30,239 - LAUGHS: After all of that. - After all of that. 306 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:32,279 - After all those legal costs. - Yeah. 307 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:37,119 - Did you leave Paul to raise Tiny Tim? - I left Paul to raise Tiny Tim. 308 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:39,519 - In terms of the distances to the target... - Yes. 309 00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:41,719 - ...cos that's really what we're judging here... - Mm-hm. 310 00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:43,759 I'm measuring from the bull's-eye of the target. - Yeah. 311 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:44,919 - The very centre. 312 00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:47,240 Bree ― 8.29m. 313 00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,279 - Oh, this isn't a good start for me. 314 00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:51,279 - Pax ― 10.46m. - (SIGHS) 315 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:53,559 - Alice ― 5.13m. 316 00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:54,639 - Ooh! 317 00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:56,640 - Jackie ― 4.18m. - Wow! 318 00:15:57,440 --> 00:15:59,440 - And Jack ― 3.39m. 319 00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:02,319 - You're taking the piss. (APPLAUSE) 320 00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:06,599 - OK, and then there's one more point for... - Mm-hm. 321 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:10,679 Bonus point for the best break-up. - And I think that's Alice. - OK. 322 00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:12,759 So that would mean... - Mm-hm. 323 00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:15,679 - ...one point for Pax, two points for Bree, 324 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:17,959 four points for Alice, four points for Jackie, 325 00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:22,719 and five points for Jack. - There we go. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 326 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:24,679 Who's winning the episode so far, Paul? 327 00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:27,639 - Out in first with 10 points, Jack Ansett. 328 00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:31,679 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) - Wow. OK. - Wow. This is how it feels. Wow. 329 00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:33,559 - OK, I am ready for another task, Paul. 330 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,959 - Last week, we had our first team task. 331 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:38,560 This week, our first teen task. 332 00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:40,800 (QUIRKY THEME MUSIC) 333 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:46,359 - Paul? 334 00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:47,519 - Bree. 335 00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:49,600 - Oh, he's in the caravan. 336 00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:51,720 - Hello, Alice. - Paul. 337 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:53,359 - Hello, Jackie. - Hello. 338 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:54,519 (PAX GROANS) 339 00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:56,520 - What's that? 340 00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,879 - Taskmaster deodorant. What are you trying to say? 341 00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:01,599 - What are you trying to say? 342 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,600 - May I? - Mm-hm. 343 00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:10,559 - READS: 'Recreate an uncomfortable teenage moment with a different outcome.' 344 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:13,760 - 'Biggest reversal of fortune wins.' 345 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,519 - 'You have 40 minutes.' 346 00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:17,599 - 'Your time starts now.' 347 00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:21,719 - Oh God, Paul. I don't like to think about my teenage years. 348 00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:26,519 - When I was 15, in biology class, I realised I was gay and I threw up in the toilet. 349 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:30,159 - So, you were so homophobic... - ...about myself. 350 00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:31,439 - CHUCKLES: ...that it made you throw up? 351 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:36,320 - And then be straight for another 15 years. (LAUGHS) - Wow. 352 00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:41,879 - All right. Bring on the first trip down memory lane, Paul. 353 00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:45,199 - Let's head to the hallways of Burnside High School in Christchurch. 354 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:46,919 - JACK: Yeah, yeah! ― Jack Ansett. 355 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:48,439 - Oh no. 356 00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:51,279 Year nine, I was in the musical Aladdin. 357 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:57,479 I guess that was triggering for me, because I really wanted to be the genie. 358 00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:00,079 And who got the role of the genie? 359 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:05,039 Thomas, his name was. So, yeah, I guess I'm gonna recreate the musical Aladdin, 360 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:09,879 and I'm gonna be the genie, and then I'm gonna perform the hit number Friend Like Me. 361 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,559 - OK, you'll have to do kind of a knock-off. - Yeah, sweet. 362 00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:14,879 - So instead of Friend Like Me, it could be... 363 00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:19,480 - Colleague. - ...A Colleague Like Me. - Yeah. (LAUGHS) 364 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:23,679 - Opening night. - Hey, brother. - Hi, Jack. 365 00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:26,439 - Hey, congrats on the role. - Oh, thank you. 366 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:29,439 - Mm. Have you been practicing hard? - Big time. 367 00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:32,719 - Well, guess what. I've been practising too. 368 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:34,720 Get on the floor now. 369 00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:39,800 If you make a noise, it's over for you. Now, get in. 370 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:44,920 Let's go. 371 00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:50,920 Whey-hey-hey! 372 00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:52,039 (LAUGHTER) 373 00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:54,679 ♪ You ain't never had a colleague like this guy. 374 00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:57,519 ♪ You ain't never had a colleague that's this fly. 375 00:18:57,520 --> 00:19:00,039 ♪ I'll talk to you at the water cooler. 376 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:02,919 ♪ Cos I'm your genie, and you're my ruler! 377 00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:05,719 ♪ Hey! I'm available for after-work drinks. 378 00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:08,879 ♪ Hey! You got three wishes. What are your kinks? 379 00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:10,519 ♪ I'm here, never fear. 380 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:11,919 ♪ Because you ain't never 381 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:12,759 ♪ had a 382 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:14,119 ♪ colleague like 383 00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:17,600 ♪ this guy! ♪ 384 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:20,440 Whoo! 385 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:22,560 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 386 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:32,479 - So, instead of missing out on a leading role, you instead abducted a boy called Thomas... 387 00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:34,399 - Correct. - ...pushed him into a locker... 388 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:38,959 - Correct. - ...painted yourself green and then talked about kinks. 389 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:43,999 - I'm not a musical person. I said I'm not gonna do a musical number at any point in this series. 390 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,959 - You chose to do that, though. - I did do that, yes. (LAUGHTER) 391 00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:51,759 - You didn't need to tell us that you're not a musical person. We saw. - OK. 392 00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:52,639 (LAUGHTER) 393 00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:56,639 - All right. Time for a break, and if you're thinking about your embarrassing teenage years, 394 00:19:56,640 --> 00:20:05,119 nothing makes that feeling go away faster than buying something off an advert. We'll see you ina tick. 395 00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:07,160 (QUIRKY THEME MUSIC) 396 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,200 (QUIRKY THEME MUSIC) 397 00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:13,760 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 398 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:19,679 - Welcome back to Taskmaster, where we're currently reliving our awkward teenage years. 399 00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:20,599 Where are we, Paul? 400 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:25,239 - It's time for a trip back to rural Queensland. Bree Tomasel. 401 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:27,359 - Should we do a few? - You could combine. 402 00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:34,079 - Should do my first kiss, then do my driving test, and then where I get my results from highschool, 403 00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:35,239 which weren't good. 404 00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:37,240 OK, let's go. - OK. 405 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:40,799 - Oh, this has been an absolute breeze. 406 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:42,800 Whoa, look out! 407 00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:46,519 Are you safe? - Very safe, thanks to your driving. 408 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:49,039 That was some of the best driving I've ever seen. 409 00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:54,239 - Thank you. I've watched The Fast and also The Furious, like, eight times. 410 00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:57,320 - Here is your full driver's licence. 411 00:20:57,720 --> 00:20:59,959 - Not even provisional? - Correct. 412 00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:01,999 - On the first go? - First go. 413 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:03,599 - Thanks so much. 414 00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:04,679 Yeah! 415 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:11,760 Mum and Dad! I'm so nervous about my end-of-school results. This could go really bad. 416 00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:19,239 Oh my God. It's the best possible result I could ever get! I could become a doctor if Iwanted! 417 00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:21,039 - Love you. 418 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:22,759 - Love you too, Bree. 419 00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:24,359 - Nick Jonas? 420 00:21:24,360 --> 00:21:26,360 (LAUGHTER) 421 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:30,760 - ♪ We're running white hot on fire. 422 00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:33,560 ♪ Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh. 423 00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:37,799 ♪ We're chasing dreams and climbing higher. 424 00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:39,679 ♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh. 425 00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:41,680 - Nick! - Hey, Bree. 426 00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:45,559 - What are you doing here? - I've noticed you for a long time. 427 00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:47,640 - How? - You're just so... 428 00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:49,839 noticeable. 429 00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:51,840 (LAUGHTER) 430 00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:55,440 - ♪ They don't stop... 431 00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:58,720 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 432 00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:01,279 - Oh! 433 00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:03,280 Let's go make babies. 434 00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:05,799 - Let's go make the Jonas Sisters. 435 00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:07,799 (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE) 436 00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:09,800 - Wow. - Wow. 437 00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:12,399 - When that recreation first started, 438 00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:15,879 I thought you were going to have your first kiss with the driving instructor. 439 00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:17,199 (LAUGHTER) 440 00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:21,439 - That was actually what happened, and I wanted to recreate a better moment, 441 00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:24,159 cos my driving instructor was, like, 68. 442 00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:25,599 (LAUGHTER) 443 00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:31,680 - That is the second time that Paul's been kissed on screen in Taskmaster. 444 00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:35,999 - Uh-uh-uh. We had to shoot that scene three times. (LAUGHTER) 445 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:37,039 - Oh! - Wow. 446 00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:41,039 - And then the camera guy goes, 'You don't have to kiss, though, if you don't want,' 447 00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:46,119 and both of us at the same time went, 'We'll kiss.' (LAUGHTER) 448 00:22:46,120 --> 00:22:47,839 - OK, who have we got next, Paul? 449 00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:53,959 - Next, we're heading to the place where Auckland girls learn grammar, Auckland Girls' Grammar. 450 00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:55,759 It's Alice Snedden. 451 00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:58,479 - Once I got an award for making a team I hadn't made. 452 00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:01,639 - What was the team? - Auckland cricket team under-16s. 453 00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:04,559 The next day, I still went up on stage and accepted the award, 454 00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:08,519 because they wouldn't tell me what award I was getting at assembly, so I had to go. 455 00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:10,159 (BOTH LAUGH) 456 00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:15,360 Then my whole family came to watch me win an award. (BOTH LAUGH) 457 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:21,560 (SOFT POP MUSIC) 458 00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:24,879 (CELL PHONE RINGS) 459 00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:28,039 Hello. Alice speaking. - I come bearing good news. 460 00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:31,999 - Yes? - You made the Auckland Under-16 cricket team. 461 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:33,559 - Oh my God. Really? 462 00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:34,679 - And on top of that, 463 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:40,639 you will be receiving a special award at an after-hours school assembly tomorrow. 464 00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:44,719 - Wow. - Please invite your entire family to the award ceremony. 465 00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:46,720 - OK, thank you, Glen. 466 00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:54,640 - Please welcome to the stage to receive this honorary award Alice Snedden. 467 00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:57,080 (APPLAUSE) 468 00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:02,519 - I know it's a little unorthodox to give a speech at a school assembly, 469 00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:06,599 but it just means so much to me that the school recognises this achievement 470 00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:10,599 and really did their due diligence to find out that I would make the team 471 00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:15,079 and get this award before throwing a whole school assembly for it, so, um... 472 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:20,760 - 'Course. - ...thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Thank you. 473 00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:26,799 - Screw it. Alice Snedden Day ― from hereforth on, this will be Alice Snedden Day. 474 00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:28,559 (LAUGHTER) 475 00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:32,199 CHANTS: Alice. Alice. - No, please, stop. - OK. 476 00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:34,039 - I mean, a little― a little bit longer. 477 00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:36,040 - CHANTS: Alice. Alice. 478 00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:38,280 Alice. Alice. 479 00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:40,480 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 480 00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:45,679 - That was very cathartic to watch... - BREE: It was beautiful. 481 00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:48,079 - ...and Paul was very gentle and supportive. 482 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:51,119 - The Glen character. - The Glen character I thought was excellent. 483 00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:53,159 - Glen, I wanna know more about Glen. - PAX: Yeah. 484 00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:55,919 - If you were watching that and you didn't know Glen as a person, 485 00:24:55,920 --> 00:25:00,759 you might be like, why is this grown man so invested in this 16-year-old girl? 486 00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:03,719 - Yeah. - But trust me, it was all above board. 487 00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:04,639 (LAUGHTER) 488 00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:11,040 I can guarantee you nothing happened that I didn't wanna happen. (LAUGHTER) 489 00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:13,680 - Wow. - OK. Who's up next? 490 00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:19,519 - Now to Wellington and the streets of Johnsonville. It's Jackie van Beek. 491 00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:23,719 - I was a very young teenager; my breasts were beginning to develop. 492 00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:30,519 I was too embarrassed to get a bra, so what I decided to do was wear swimming togs the whole week. 493 00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:33,839 Then, of course, one day I was in the changing rooms getting changed, 494 00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:35,759 and a kind of acquaintance of mine said... 495 00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:39,439 - Why are you wearing your bathing suit under your regular clothes, Jackie? 496 00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:40,799 - And I said, 'Because...' 497 00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:45,119 I have a swimming lesson straight after school. Like, it literally starts in, like, seven minutes, 498 00:25:45,120 --> 00:25:47,879 and I just wouldn't have time to get changed otherwise. 499 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,359 And she was like, 'Oh, cool. Do you to do Keith Spry Pool in Johnsonville?' 500 00:25:50,360 --> 00:25:51,399 I said yeah. She said... 501 00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:54,079 - No way. I live right next to that pool. 502 00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:58,039 - Oh, that's so funny. - Yeah. I'll walk there with you. 503 00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:01,799 - We get to the swimming pool; she loiters. I have to go into the swimming pool. 504 00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:03,800 OK, well, here we are. 505 00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:07,039 Better go off to my swimming lesson. 506 00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:08,799 OK, bye. 507 00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:11,039 I have to talk to the person behind the desk. 508 00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:12,079 - Can I help you? 509 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:15,399 - Can you just tell me ― has that girl behind me gone already? 510 00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:17,879 - Yeah, she's gone. - Oh, thank God. 511 00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:21,439 - So, what would the new outcome be? - I think it will happen at the pool. 512 00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:26,599 - I hope this isn't inappropriate, but you have an incredible physique. 513 00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:30,839 You have the perfect body for swimming. I think you should go in there. 514 00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:35,999 We're doing a championship. - Is that today, right now? - That's happening in five minutes. 515 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:37,799 - So that's what I did. 516 00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:40,920 And I became an absolute champ. 517 00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:45,320 (APPLAUSE) - JACK: Wow. - PAX: Amazing. 518 00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:49,639 Amazing. - She's broken the fourth wall again. (LAUGHTER) 519 00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:52,719 - You love breaking the fourth wall. - Love breaking the fourth wall there at the end. 520 00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:56,079 - Yeah, because I just like to stay connected to my audience. 521 00:26:56,080 --> 00:27:00,039 - So, the trauma was that you got walked to the pool by a friend. 522 00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:03,959 - Yeah. But― But I didn't have a swimming lesson. I made that up. 523 00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:10,239 - Yeah, but in your better situation, you had a paedo man in a wig. (LAUGHTER) 524 00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:13,559 - That was Glen. He'd grown his hair out. (LAUGHTER) 525 00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:17,439 - In defence of Jackie, none of us are writing these characters as perverts. 526 00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:21,519 That's just sort of on Paul ― the direction Paul's... (LAUGHTER) 527 00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:23,079 ...choosing to go. 528 00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:25,839 - OK. Shall we let the trauma continue? 529 00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:27,679 - Of course, Jeremy. 530 00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:32,399 Finally, we're heading to Hamilton's Hillcrest High School. It's Pax Assadi. 531 00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:37,799 - I had a crush on a girl at high school. I won't say her name, but it rhymes with 'Bowie', 532 00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:41,199 and I got a text from an unknown number while I was at basketball nationals. 533 00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:45,879 It said, 'Hey, Pax. This is Bowie. I've always had a crush on you.' 534 00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:50,279 And for the entire tournament, I was texting her, and I thought I was in, 535 00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:53,159 and I said some... I said some things, man. 536 00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:56,719 What I thought was we were two horny teenagers, but we weren't. 537 00:27:56,720 --> 00:28:01,200 It was a horny teenager texting his entire horny team. 538 00:28:04,360 --> 00:28:07,719 It's me, Pax Assadi, at the age of 16... 539 00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:08,399 Nice. 540 00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:11,199 ...here at high school nationals. 541 00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:13,239 (CELL PHONE BEEPS) Whoa. I got a text. 542 00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:14,799 Oh my God. 543 00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:18,919 'Hi, Pax. This is your high school crush Bowie. I am deeply in love with you. 544 00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:22,639 'Please, I want to be with you for the rest of my life.' 545 00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:23,879 Whaaat? 546 00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:25,239 That's crazy, dude. 547 00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:28,320 Oh, he's such an idiot. He has no idea. 548 00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:30,960 Hey, girl. I love you too. 549 00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,479 And I wanna kiss you daily. 550 00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:35,159 (LAUGHS) He replied. 551 00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:37,999 Yeah, we're really embarrassing him. 552 00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:39,999 Look at the embarrassment on his face. 553 00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:41,159 What do you guys mean? What do you mean? 554 00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:43,279 It's not actually her text― sending the text. 555 00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:46,119 What? It was you guys the whole time? 556 00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:47,839 Oh, crack up. Crack up, eh? 557 00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:49,039 How crack up? 558 00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:51,040 (CHUCKLES) Yeah. 559 00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:56,199 Bowie. What are you doing here at this basketball tournament in 2006? You should be at school. 560 00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:57,239 - I didn't have your number, 561 00:28:57,240 --> 00:29:03,720 so I've been texting your teammates and asking them to pass the texts on to you. 562 00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:05,959 - So it has been you this whole time. 563 00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:08,239 - I'm in love with you. - Yas! 564 00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:09,919 Yeah, get in. 565 00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:11,920 Get in. 566 00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:13,959 So, what do we do now? 567 00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:18,679 - I guess maybe we could get married, move to Ghana and start a non-for-profit. 568 00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:24,079 - Basketball-focused non-for-profit where it's a basketball academy? - Yeah. 569 00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:25,679 - That's awesome. 570 00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:26,759 Ta-ta. Bye. 571 00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:28,760 Good luck in Ghana. 572 00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:31,159 Do you have a visa? 573 00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:32,959 Can you just go there? 574 00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:34,279 I guess so. 575 00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:36,280 (APPLAUSE) 576 00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:38,359 - OK, so just a couple of quick points on that story. 577 00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:44,559 So, the initial embarrassment was that your teammates witnessed your crazy horniness... 578 00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:48,399 - Yeah, yeah. - ...and then in the recreation, they still witnessed your crazy horniness. 579 00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:53,039 - Yeah, but it was― but the horniness was coming from Zoey― uh, Bowie. 580 00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:55,040 Um... (LAUGHTER) 581 00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:57,760 So, Bo-Bowie... 582 00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:00,759 Oh, I've said― I've said it now. Zoey is texting― 583 00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:03,039 - I'm pretty sure we all figured it out already. (LAUGHTER) 584 00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:06,439 - No, I genuinely thought it was Joey. - I was thinking Joey as well. 585 00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:08,759 - I thought it was Chloe. - Yeah, I thought Chloe. 586 00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:12,439 - Nah, it's... Jokes, it's not Zoey. (LAUGHTER) 587 00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:16,599 - All right. This is gonna be quite hard to score, cos I felt everybody's trauma. 588 00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:21,759 OK? But I'll give one point to Jack, because you clearly had a problem with not getting thatrole, 589 00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:23,919 but then you proved to us why you should've have ever got the role. 590 00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:25,279 - That's fair. I'll take that on the chin. 591 00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:27,599 - So I think it's fair that you're two. - Thank you, yes, yep. 592 00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:32,199 - Jackie, I'll give you two, cos you went from having an uncomfortable walk home 593 00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:37,079 to getting hit on by a man in a wig at a public pool reception. 594 00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:44,439 And then I'll go three for Alice, because, obviously, you went from humiliation to acceptance from Glen. 595 00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:48,519 Pax, four for you. The humiliation of your teammates, that's not ideal. - Mm. 596 00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:54,279 - And then five for Bree. From the driving test to having babies with a Jonas Brother, that's... 597 00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:56,280 - Paul. (APPLAUSE) 598 00:30:57,920 --> 00:30:59,920 (LAUGHTER, CHEERING) 599 00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:02,120 - Blackout. 600 00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:04,320 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 601 00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:09,920 - Worth it every time. (LAUGHTER) 602 00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:16,080 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 603 00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:24,439 - All right, that's enough awkward transitions from childhood to adulthood. 604 00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:30,319 It's time for a rapid transition into the ads. We'll see you after this. 605 00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:32,359 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 606 00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:34,360 (QUIRKY THEME MUSIC) 607 00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:38,600 (QUIRKY THEME MUSIC) 608 00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:40,920 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 609 00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:48,079 - Tena koutou katoa. Welcome back to Taskmaster, where contestants are willing to shave their fathers. 610 00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:50,519 Is it time for another task, Paul? - Sure is, Jeremy. 611 00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:55,120 I accuse this tablet of containing a task. Show me task. 612 00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:57,480 (QUIRKY THEME MUSIC) 613 00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:05,640 - Paul! 614 00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:10,079 - God, it's good to see you again. - Thank you for saying it. 615 00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:12,280 - Oh, what have we got here? 616 00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:15,359 - Nothing under the table. 617 00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:17,359 - Task time. 618 00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:19,359 - READS: 'Collect the most coins.' 619 00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:21,079 - 'Most coins wins.' 620 00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:27,280 - 'You can gain a coin by successfully accusing an item of concealing one.' 621 00:32:28,120 --> 00:32:30,879 - 'To accuse an item, point at it and yell...' 622 00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:32,439 - '..."Show me money."' 623 00:32:32,440 --> 00:32:34,399 I feel like that should be 'Show me the money'. 624 00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:35,679 - Legal reasons. 625 00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:37,959 - 'You may not touch the items.' Ugh. 626 00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:41,159 - 'If no coin is found, you are bankrupt and disqualified.' 627 00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:47,959 - 'You may save your coins and walk away at any time by putting your coins in the piggy bank.' 628 00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:49,559 - 'Your time starts now.' 629 00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:53,359 - So, the minute I point at an object that doesn't have a coin... - Mm-hm. 630 00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:57,239 - ...I'm bankrupt and disqualified. - Correct. You'll receive no points. 631 00:32:57,240 --> 00:32:58,239 - (SIGHS) 632 00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:00,240 - Show me money! - Yes. 633 00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:03,079 - Completely original phrase (!) - Mm-hm. 634 00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:05,080 (APPLAUSE) 635 00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:07,599 - So, this seems like a pretty simple task. 636 00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:10,159 It's kind of gambling, isn't it? - It's gambling, yeah. 637 00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:16,160 - Who's gambling first, Paul? - Up first, Pax Assadi and Jackie van Beek. 638 00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:18,880 - Show me money. 639 00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:22,519 Aha. 640 00:33:22,520 --> 00:33:24,039 I knew it! 641 00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:25,279 - Show me money. 642 00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:26,719 - You've accused the milk. 643 00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:28,720 - Show me money. 644 00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:31,360 Ooh, yeah. 645 00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:35,359 I knew it. 646 00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:36,959 - Give me some money, baby. 647 00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:38,279 - That's not the phrase. 648 00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:39,599 - Mo' money, mo' problems. 649 00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:42,199 - All the information you need is in the task. 650 00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:44,200 - Show me money. 651 00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:47,999 - Paul's special folder contains a coin. 652 00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:50,279 - That could be a double bluff. 653 00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:55,319 - Remember that you can bank your coins at any time and leave with two coins banked. 654 00:33:55,320 --> 00:33:57,359 - WHISPERS: Yeah, but I'm a gambler. 655 00:33:57,360 --> 00:34:02,159 - I have a theory that every single one of these items has money. - OK. 656 00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:03,839 - Show me money, Paul. 657 00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:06,840 - Show me money. It's a double bluff. 658 00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:11,439 (AUDIENCE GROANS) 659 00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:13,359 Oh, it wasn't a double bluff. 660 00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:14,839 - Sorry, but you're bankrupt. 661 00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:19,119 - That theory fell overrealfast. - Almost instantly. - Yeah. 662 00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:22,839 And I tried to play it real cool. - You did seem really cool. 663 00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:25,120 - It was immediately wrong. 664 00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:27,840 (GIGGLES) 665 00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:30,800 That sucks, man. - (LAUGHS) 666 00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:34,040 (APPLAUSE) 667 00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:39,399 - So, what happened in the end? Jackie lost everything. 668 00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:41,239 - Both of them were bankrupt. - Yeah. - Yeah. 669 00:34:41,240 --> 00:34:42,959 (LAUGHTER) Who's next, Paul? 670 00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:47,160 - Up next ― the two cheeses, Bree and Monterey Jack. 671 00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:51,439 - Oh, Paul, I guess we just bloody do it, eh? - Do what? 672 00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:53,559 - Just kick it in the dick. - Oh. 673 00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:54,519 - (CLICKS TONGUE) 674 00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:58,720 Paul's special folder, I accuse it. Show me money. 675 00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:00,999 - The folder contains a coin. 676 00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:02,519 - (CHORTLES) 677 00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:05,839 - This would be the obvious pick, but you're probably not gonna do that. 678 00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:08,959 - Why is the Taskmaster around the wrong way? 679 00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:10,960 Says 'MT' not 'TM'. 680 00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:13,200 The wallet's empty. 681 00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:15,400 Yes, Paul! I got one! 682 00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:17,479 - I'm eyeing up the milk. 683 00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:19,480 You thirsty? - Always. 684 00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:21,559 - Show me money. 685 00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:24,360 (LAUGHS) Yeah, drink it up, Paul. 686 00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:27,119 - The milk contains a coin. 687 00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:28,639 - I love you, Paul. 688 00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:30,640 - (BLOWS) 689 00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:33,680 Oh, there's a leaf blower. 690 00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:36,160 - I accuse this tennis ball. 691 00:35:38,680 --> 00:35:41,680 - You wouldn't believe what I found. 692 00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:44,320 Is this working? - Hard to say. 693 00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:46,879 - Are coins made out of metal? 694 00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:48,880 - Show me money. 695 00:35:50,360 --> 00:35:51,799 You got me! 696 00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:54,479 - READS: Today modern coins are made from nickel― 697 00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:59,080 - Sorry, it's quite boring, Paul. (LEAF BLOWER WHIRRS) 698 00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:00,679 Hey! 699 00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:01,919 - Show me money. 700 00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:03,759 (LEAF BLOWER WHIRRS) 701 00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:05,759 - (COUGHS) 702 00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:07,799 STRAINED: Down my throat. 703 00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:09,399 - Pot plant contains a coin. 704 00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:12,279 - (COUGHS) I'm so excited I'm choking. 705 00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:14,280 (LEAF BLOWER WHIRRS) 706 00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:16,919 - Show me money! 707 00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:18,920 (LEAF BLOWER WHIRRS) 708 00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:21,360 Show me money. 709 00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:23,879 - The fol... (LEAF BLOWER WHIRRS) 710 00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:24,879 - Sorry. 711 00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:27,359 - This rubber duck ― show me money. 712 00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:29,360 (LEAF BLOWER WHIRRS) 713 00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:33,719 - There's something inside this wee hole here. 714 00:36:33,720 --> 00:36:34,599 Show me money. 715 00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:36,559 - Oh! (LAUGHS EXCITEDLY) 716 00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:38,560 It's so fun when you win! 717 00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:41,039 - So, you're happy with that ― five coins? 718 00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:45,559 - I honestly think I've done better than everyone else will have done at this. 719 00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:47,159 - Three. 720 00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:48,519 Four. 721 00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:50,319 Five. 722 00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:51,159 Six. 723 00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:55,239 - Like, the live studio, I want those four arseholes to know... 724 00:36:55,240 --> 00:36:56,039 (LAUGHTER) 725 00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:58,319 ...how good I've done. - OK. 726 00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:01,959 - Celebration dance. Yes, Paul. Yes, Paul. Yes. 727 00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:03,759 HIGH-PITCHED: Ha! 728 00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:05,760 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 729 00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:11,999 - I don't know what was better, Bree, to be honest ― 730 00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:16,919 realising that that was 'MT' ― you must have been quite happy with yourself ― or the moonwalk. 731 00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:21,319 - Both were pretty amazing moments, like, doing the moonwalk in unison with Paul. 732 00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:24,279 - Are we all incredibly impressed by Paul's Michael Jackson dance moves? 733 00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:25,239 - Yeah. - Oh, yeah. 734 00:37:25,240 --> 00:37:27,320 - Can you do one right now? 735 00:37:27,720 --> 00:37:32,720 Just one Michael Jackson dance move? (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 736 00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:37,000 (EXCLAIMING) 737 00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:39,120 (CHEERING) 738 00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:41,840 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 739 00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:51,039 - It comes as no surprise to me that Pervert Paul's favourite... (LAUGHTER) 740 00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:55,319 - What a squeaky clean celebrity to impersonate (!) - ...musician... 741 00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:59,919 - So, just to be clear, they decided to bank their money after six coins ― is that right? 742 00:37:59,920 --> 00:38:01,759 - Well, interesting point. 743 00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:03,519 Bree ― six coins. - Yep. 744 00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:04,599 - Very solid. - Mm-hm. 745 00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:09,439 - Jack ― five. Very solid. But I do have to show you this. - OK. 746 00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:12,440 - The white powder contained a coin. 747 00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:16,839 - Thank you. Do I put that in my piggy bank? 748 00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:20,120 - If you wanna bank it. - Yeah, I do. Yeah. 749 00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:21,319 (AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS) 750 00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:22,319 - OK. 751 00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:23,319 - Oh no. 752 00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:25,919 - I don't get it. What did I do? - Oh no. (LAUGHTER) 753 00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:27,639 - So, going back to the task wording... 754 00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:29,519 - BREE: Oh no, Jack. - Oh my God. Dude. 755 00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:33,999 - 'You may save your coins and walk away at any time by putting your coins in the piggy bank.' 756 00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:37,239 - Are you really gonna do this? You're really gonna split hairs like this? OK. 757 00:38:37,240 --> 00:38:40,439 It's, quite frankly, pathetic. (LAUGHTER) 758 00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:44,279 - This guy's gonna blow. He's honestly― I can feel the vibration. 759 00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:49,239 - I think we just need to give Jack a moment to recover from that shocking revelation, 760 00:38:49,240 --> 00:38:53,919 and we'll see you after the break. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 761 00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:56,000 (QUIRKY THEME MUSIC) 762 00:38:58,560 --> 00:39:00,560 (QUIRKY THEME MUSIC) 763 00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:02,920 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 764 00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:09,639 - Welcome back to Taskmaster, a show featuring five of New Zealand's best and brightest minds, 765 00:39:09,640 --> 00:39:13,199 so long as you don't count proper smart people like doctors. 766 00:39:13,200 --> 00:39:14,039 Where were we, Paul? 767 00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:18,199 - We are watching our contestants attempt to find coins hidden in objects. 768 00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:20,840 - OK. Who have we got left? 769 00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:23,440 - Get ready for Alice Sneddy. 770 00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:28,399 - Maybe I'll just go upstairs and get some coins. - OK. 771 00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:30,800 - Just in case that's a thing. 772 00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:32,960 (COINS JANGLE) 773 00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:36,600 (TABLE RATTLES) 774 00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:37,879 - (WHIMPERS) 775 00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:39,439 - Show me money! 776 00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:41,159 No use crying over spilt milk. 777 00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:43,160 - Congratulations. 778 00:39:44,120 --> 00:39:45,039 - Show me money. 779 00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:47,040 Thank you. 780 00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:49,559 Aargh! 781 00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:50,599 Show me money. 782 00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:51,559 - Congratulations. 783 00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:52,999 - OK, I'm ready to bank. 784 00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:55,280 - One, two, three, four. 785 00:39:57,080 --> 00:39:57,919 (LAUGHTER) 786 00:39:57,920 --> 00:39:59,919 Five, six, seven, 787 00:39:59,920 --> 00:40:01,919 eight, nine, 10. 788 00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:04,119 - Now, we're going over 10. Are you gonna be OK? 789 00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:06,440 - 120, 121. 790 00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:09,480 (LAUGHTER) 791 00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:11,119 122... 792 00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:13,119 144, 793 00:40:13,120 --> 00:40:14,959 145. 794 00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:17,239 You like to bank those? - Yes, please. 795 00:40:17,240 --> 00:40:19,240 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 796 00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:29,679 - When you were putting the 145th coin in the piggy bank, were you ever thinking, 797 00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:33,479 'You know what ― if I don't put in one more coin, I might get beaten by Jack Ansett'? 798 00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:34,719 (LAUGHTER) 799 00:40:34,720 --> 00:40:38,959 - Look, to be honest, I thought it was suck a clear loophole that everyone was gonna do it, 800 00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:41,559 and I was worried that I was so lazy. 801 00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:44,639 - But I'm not― I'm not convinced that you're gonna get away with it. - JACK: Yeah. 802 00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:47,439 - Well, shut the (BLEEP) up. (LAUGHTER) 803 00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:48,639 - That's a great question. 804 00:40:48,640 --> 00:40:51,479 - So, (READS) 'Collect the most coins ― most coins wins. 805 00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:55,319 'You can gain a coin by successfully accusing an item of concealing one.' 806 00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:58,239 - So, essentially, this task was 'do whatever the (BLEEP) you want'. 807 00:40:58,240 --> 00:41:03,679 - No, that's not true. It was reading comprehension. (LAUGHS) (LAUGHTER) 808 00:41:03,680 --> 00:41:04,839 - Legally, I think it works. 809 00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:08,999 - Ah, totally, it does work. It was a good play. It was a good play. - Whoo-hoo-hoo! 810 00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:12,879 - So, how would you wanna score...? So, Jackie and Pax, they were both bankrupt ― one point? 811 00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:14,639 - One point. - One point. - One point, yeah. 812 00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:18,479 And then I would give three points for Jack. - Oh, thank you so much. 813 00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:21,039 - And then I go four points for Bree. - Yup. 814 00:41:21,040 --> 00:41:22,759 - And then I go five points for Alice. 815 00:41:22,760 --> 00:41:26,079 - The winner of the task is Alice Snedden. (APPLAUSE) 816 00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:28,799 - Shall we have a look at the episode scores so far? 817 00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:34,279 - It's very close. There's only one point in it, but out in first with 14 points ― Jack Ansett. 818 00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:36,560 - Oh! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 819 00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:38,960 Oh! Oh! 820 00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:45,759 - OK, head up on to the stage for the final task of the show. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 821 00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:47,519 All right, Paul, what are we doing tonight? 822 00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:50,199 - Alice, Snedden, please read the task. 823 00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:53,439 - READS: 'Make the tallest free-standing structure. 824 00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:58,799 'You may only use balloons, tape, your pool noodles and umbrella. 825 00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:04,519 'You have five minutes to construct your tower, after which it must stand on its own for 10seconds.' 826 00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:06,520 - Shit. (LAUGHTER) 827 00:42:06,720 --> 00:42:08,639 - On my whistle. 828 00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:10,640 (WHISTLE TRILLS) 829 00:42:10,880 --> 00:42:12,880 (LAUGHTER) - Oh... 830 00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:15,120 (LAUGHTER) 831 00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:17,279 (LAUGHS) 832 00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:21,159 OK. This is getting out of hand. Get out of my box. Please get out of my box. 833 00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:22,359 - (LAUGHS) That's what she said. 834 00:42:22,360 --> 00:42:24,039 - What's the thinking, Alice? 835 00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:26,359 - I don't wanna say it out loud. I'd rather not comment. 836 00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:28,799 - Oh, I'm gonna spend five minutes trying to find this thing. 837 00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:32,039 - Oh, I just hit myself in the face with a dick. (LAUGHTER) 838 00:42:32,040 --> 00:42:35,520 Really regretting wearing a skirt, Paul. 839 00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:42,199 What do you think that looks like? 840 00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:47,159 I'm gonna add two balloons just there for you. - Oh, OK. Maybe a rocket ship. 841 00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:49,160 - Oh... Oh... 842 00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:51,439 Oh! 843 00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:53,440 Shit! (LAUGHTER) 844 00:42:54,760 --> 00:42:56,719 - JACKIE: Oh no. Oh no. 845 00:42:56,720 --> 00:42:58,599 I don't know what to do. I'm panicking. 846 00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:01,039 I thought there were three of these. Can I borrow one of yours? Can I borrow that yellowone? 847 00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:02,199 - No! Piss off! 848 00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:04,359 - ALICE: I've got a spare. - A spare tall one? 849 00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:06,039 - Oh, no, shortie. - OK. 850 00:43:06,040 --> 00:43:08,239 - My noodle's so flaccid! (LAUGHTER) 851 00:43:08,240 --> 00:43:09,439 - Bree is a hot mess. 852 00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:11,519 - Bree, just a reminder ― it has to stand up. 853 00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:13,520 - I know, Paul! - OK. 854 00:43:13,680 --> 00:43:15,680 - I don't have any ideas. 855 00:43:18,040 --> 00:43:19,679 (AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS) 856 00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:21,680 - Oh, Jack. Oh... 857 00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:23,439 (LAUGHTER) 858 00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:25,440 - Ow. Ow. Ow. 859 00:43:25,760 --> 00:43:27,119 Ow. 860 00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:29,520 - Careful with that. - Sorry. 861 00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:33,559 I can't get the tape off! - 10 seconds. 862 00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:35,840 - I have to win this episode. 863 00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:40,319 - (BLOWS WHISTLE) Step away. Step away, Bree. Hands away. 864 00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:41,839 - AUDIENCE: Aww! 865 00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:44,319 - Jack, step away. - Step away, Jack. 866 00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:46,320 (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE) 867 00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:55,359 - OK, everyone, leave everything up here. Head on down... (LAUGHTER) 868 00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:58,599 ...and we'll measure them. - Come on, Jack. Let's go. - Come on, Jack. 869 00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:02,280 - Come on, Jack. Come on. Come on. (APPLAUSE) 870 00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:04,600 (QUIRKY THEME MUSIC) 871 00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:07,200 - All right. 872 00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:11,799 What happened there, Paul? Who won? Who lost? And who's somewhere in between? 873 00:44:11,800 --> 00:44:16,639 - Firstly, the elephant in the room. - Mm. - Do we accept Jack's tower? 874 00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:18,159 - Can I―? Do I get the chance―? - No, you don't. 875 00:44:18,160 --> 00:44:20,119 - No, yep. (LAUGHTER) 876 00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:22,679 - I think we all know that's unfair to everybody else, 877 00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:25,359 because everyone else built a structure from the base that was free-standing; 878 00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:26,919 Jack's was still attached to him. 879 00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:31,079 - Uh, in that case, Bree ― 25cm. - Mm-hm. 880 00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:33,880 - Jackie ― 68cm. - Happy with that. 881 00:44:34,120 --> 00:44:36,120 - Alice ― 1.48m. 882 00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:39,800 Pax ― 1.50m. 883 00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:41,439 - Oh, you're joking! 884 00:44:41,440 --> 00:44:43,440 - 2cm in it, yes. 885 00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:49,759 - So, that's one point for Jack, two points for Bree, three points for Jackie, four points for Alice, 886 00:44:49,760 --> 00:44:54,240 and five points for Pax Assadi. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 887 00:44:57,240 --> 00:45:01,519 Paul, I think it'd be a good time to have a little bit of a series score update. 888 00:45:01,520 --> 00:45:02,679 - OK. 889 00:45:02,680 --> 00:45:04,159 It's very close. 890 00:45:04,160 --> 00:45:09,639 Out in first with 50 points, Jackie van Beek. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 891 00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:15,639 - JACK: Wow. - But who is the winner of episode three of Taskmaster season six? 892 00:45:15,640 --> 00:45:22,679 - With 17 points, the winner of episode three is Alice Snedden. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 893 00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:26,919 - OK. Congratulations, Alice. Please head up and enjoy your bounty. 894 00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:30,639 - She loved the puss. - Do you wanna come with me, Jack? Come on. Come on, Jack. 895 00:45:30,640 --> 00:45:32,519 - JACK: OK. - Come on. 896 00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:35,600 - Ka kite ano. We'll see you next time. 897 00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:37,840 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 898 00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:40,520 ('TASKMASTER' THEME MUSIC) 899 00:45:48,760 --> 00:45:51,240 - BREE: He's still holding it. 900 00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:52,999 (POP!) - Aargh! 901 00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:58,439 - Welcome to Taskmaster, the show the comedians say yes to because they're desperate to reinvent themselves... 902 00:45:58,440 --> 00:45:59,639 - Paul! 903 00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:01,079 - Nooooo! 904 00:46:01,080 --> 00:46:04,439 - ...or in Jack Ansett's case, invent themselves. 905 00:46:04,440 --> 00:46:07,520 - Oh, Jack's the weakest link. Ohhhh! 906 00:46:08,400 --> 00:46:12,000 OK, by round of applause, who knows who I am? 907 00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:14,160 OK. (LAUGHTER) 908 00:46:15,360 --> 00:46:17,320 Oh my God. - PAX: Oh my God!