1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,080 (WHEEL CLICKS) 2 00:00:02,320 --> 00:00:03,600 - Paul! 3 00:00:04,400 --> 00:00:05,360 ('TASKMASTER' THEME MUSIC) 4 00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:07,360 (POP!) 5 00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:09,000 (KEYS CLACK) 6 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:10,080 (LEAF BLOWER WHIRRS) 7 00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:11,000 - (PLAYS SCALE) 8 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:13,000 (KEYS CLACK) 9 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:14,360 - Yes! 10 00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:16,360 - Hi, Mum. 11 00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:18,280 - Au revoir! 12 00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:19,080 - (ROARS) 13 00:00:19,080 --> 00:00:20,240 (KEYS CLACK) 14 00:00:20,240 --> 00:00:20,920 - Yah! 15 00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:21,640 - Oh. 16 00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:22,320 - No! 17 00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:23,200 - (CACKLES) 18 00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:25,200 - (GASPS) 19 00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:27,280 - Ah! 20 00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:28,120 (STAMP THUDS) 21 00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:30,120 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 22 00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:34,880 (DING!) 23 00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:36,360 - Tena koutou katoa. 24 00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:41,440 Welcome to Taskmaster, the show where five comedians are given a living wage, 25 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:45,080 and in exchange, at least three times a year for the rest of their lives, 26 00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:51,000 they will wake up in a cold sweat, remembering how they couldn't find a camera that was made ofcake. 27 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:51,800 (LAUGHTER) 28 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:55,800 My name is Jeremy Wells, and I am the Taskmaster. 29 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:57,800 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 30 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:01,800 Joining me tonight are our season six contestants. 31 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:02,880 Alice Sneddon... 32 00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:04,520 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 33 00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:06,560 ...Bree Tomasel... (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 34 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:08,840 ...Jack Ansett... (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 35 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:11,200 ...Jackie Van Beek... (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 36 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:14,600 ...and Pax Assadi. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 37 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:17,400 And as always, sitting next to me, 38 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:22,120 a man who doesn't like sparkling water because he thinks it's too spicy... 39 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:23,480 it's Paul Williams. 40 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:25,480 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 41 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:30,920 - or tonight's prize task... 42 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:31,920 Mm. 43 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:33,600 That's― That's odd. 44 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:38,440 It says here that the prize category is uh, the best present for Paul. 45 00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:40,440 Hm. (LAUGHTER) 46 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:44,120 - Jack, what have you brought in? The best present for Paul. 47 00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:48,600 - Well, Jeremy, um, Paul, he's always having to assist you. 48 00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:49,280 - Yes. 49 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:52,800 - So the best present for Paul that I've brought in is, um, 50 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:54,800 his own assistant. 51 00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:57,560 He's called Craig. (LAUGHTER) 52 00:01:57,680 --> 00:01:59,920 Um, yeah. And he's actually here. 53 00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:02,360 We're gonna bring him out. Big round of applause. 54 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:07,440 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) - Oh, wow. Oh my God. Amazing. Amazing. 55 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:11,320 He's got a whip. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 56 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:14,240 Yeah, he has a whip in case, you know, he gets out of line. 57 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:16,520 (LAUGHTER) Give it to Paul. 58 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:18,320 - Thank you. 59 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:19,200 - Try it. 60 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,880 - What should I say? - 'You piece of shit.' 61 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:23,360 - You piece― You piece of― 62 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:24,280 S word. 63 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:26,080 (LAUGHTER) 64 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:27,240 - OK. You'll get better. 65 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:29,520 - Sorry. Sorry. I didn't mean that. 66 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:31,520 - It's OK. - OK. 67 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:34,080 Fantastic outfit, by the way. 68 00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:36,160 - Same to you. - Thank you. 69 00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:39,120 - Jackie, what did you bring in for Paul? 70 00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:40,840 - Craig's just gonna sit there? - Yeah. 71 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:42,240 - I like it. - I love it. 72 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:45,920 - I would prefer Craig to be present for this. 73 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:53,360 Now, everybody knows I have such a strong love for Paul, but I find him incredibly low-energy, 74 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:55,080 like, to a dangerous level. 75 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:59,280 So in order to keep you alive, I am gifting you this. 76 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:02,000 (LAUGHTER) 77 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,240 A defibrillator. 78 00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:04,160 This is for you, Paul. 79 00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:06,720 Or the person next to you that needs to use it on you when you slip― 80 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:09,760 - Craig. - Craig, this is for you. 81 00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:12,200 - Craig, are you medically trained? 82 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:13,960 - I can be. 83 00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:15,920 (LAUGHTER) 84 00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:18,000 - Craig. He's killing it. 85 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:19,880 - Pax. Best present for Paul. 86 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:24,800 - When we were shooting the tasks, I discovered that Paul is a loose fan of Formula 1. 87 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:26,200 So I've bought this for Paul. 88 00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:27,200 - Oh. 89 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:29,960 - I've just genuinely bought a cool gift for Paul. 90 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:33,200 - That screams of a gift that you want yourself, 91 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:36,360 and then you've bought for someone else, hoping that they might invite you around to their house 92 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:37,640 to play with it later on. 93 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:40,640 - Yeah, I would― I would love to play vroom vroom F1 cars with Paul. 94 00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:42,200 (LAUGHTER) 95 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:43,840 - Alice, what did you bring in? 96 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:46,320 - Oh, so Paul and I are friends. 97 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:48,920 Fair enough. (LAUGHTER) 98 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:52,040 And Paul's recently moved from London, where I live, 99 00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:53,760 back to New Zealand. 100 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:59,880 And he left his blender, and I was gonna bring that back for him and I forgot. 101 00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:03,680 So instead, I've got him a different blender. 102 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:05,200 (LAUGHTER) 103 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:07,200 - That looks used. 104 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:08,720 - I believe in sustainability. 105 00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:10,720 (LAUGHTER) 106 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:15,600 - Bree. - Jeremy, what do you get a man that has everything? 107 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:19,840 Lucky we don't have to answer that question, cos it's Paul, and he has nothing. 108 00:04:19,840 --> 00:04:21,560 (LAUGHTER) 109 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:24,840 Um, Paul, I know you've always really wanted a dog, 110 00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:28,240 and I have dogs, and I'm not giving them to you. 111 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:31,920 But I have made you a custom calendar of my dogs. 112 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:33,920 - Oh, wow. 113 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:39,080 - That's Whitney Houston on the left and Meryl Streep on the right. 114 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:41,520 And can we look at January, please? 115 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:43,520 (LAUGHTER) 116 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:45,800 Uh, February. 117 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:47,760 (LAUGHTER) 118 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:49,400 March. 119 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,080 (LAUGHTER) That's an action shot, Jeremy. 120 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:53,040 April ― they're themed. 121 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:54,360 (LAUGHTER) 122 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:56,240 May. That's a lovely one. 123 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:58,240 June, July, 124 00:04:58,560 --> 00:04:59,920 September. 125 00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:01,920 October, November. 126 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:06,320 And of course, another themed one for December, which is beautiful. 127 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:07,480 (LAUGHTER) 128 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:10,920 Now you may think I've missed a month, but, Paul, 129 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:15,720 I know that your birthday is August the 7th and I've went all out for this. 130 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:17,720 Here's August. 131 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:20,040 (LAUGHTER) 132 00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:24,520 Yes! No, you can clap. - Wow. 133 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:26,920 Amazing. - It's really good. 134 00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:30,120 - Thank you, Bree. Thanks, all of you. I love my gifts. 135 00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:33,320 - You're welcome. - No worries. - No problem, man. 136 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:34,960 - Jackie. One point. - Wow. 137 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,600 - You don't need a defibrillator. You'll be fine. 138 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:39,400 Two points for Alice, 139 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:41,000 three points for Pax, 140 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,040 four points for Bree... - I'll take it. 141 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:44,960 - ...and five points for Jack Ansett. 142 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:46,960 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 143 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:50,520 - Oh, well done. 144 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:54,320 Get out of here! Get out of here, you (BLEEP!) 145 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:55,880 Oh, that's for you, I guess. 146 00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:57,880 (LAUGHTER) 147 00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:00,720 - Let's get on with the show, then, shall we? 148 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:02,880 I think I'm in the mood for a real task. 149 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:06,840 - Sure thing, Jeremy. This one is a numbers game. 150 00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:08,840 (QUIRKY THEME MUSIC) 151 00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:16,920 - Hi, Paul. - Hello, Jackie. 152 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:18,920 - Oh, God. Great (!) 153 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:20,960 (LAUGHTER) 154 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:22,680 - Hello, Alice. - Hey, Paul. 155 00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:24,880 - Wow. What do we have here? 156 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:29,920 - (READS) 'Create new numbers.' 157 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:32,120 - 'Best new numbers wins.' 158 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:34,120 - 'Your new numbers... 159 00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:35,200 (GROANS) 160 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:37,320 'must replace the numbers...' 161 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:39,480 - '...zero through to nine...' 162 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:42,400 - '...and must have both a symbol and a written name.' 163 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:46,200 - 'You have 12 minutes. Your time starts now.' 164 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:48,600 (APPLAUSE) 165 00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:55,960 - There's nothing more threatening to a group of comedians than maths in my experience. 166 00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:57,200 Who are we gonna watch first? 167 00:06:57,200 --> 00:07:00,480 - We'll be seeing our top five contestants this series. 168 00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:02,560 It's all of them. (LAUGHTER) 169 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:03,960 Quite a detailed number. 170 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:05,680 - Yeah, but have you seen hieroglyphics? 171 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:07,040 - Oh, you're trying to make it breasts. 172 00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:08,760 - Have you not seen many? (LAUGHTER) 173 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:11,080 - No, to me, that looks like maybe an owl. 174 00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:13,120 How do you pronounce that? - Yeeeah. 175 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:14,800 - And what are things you have one of? 176 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:16,040 - You asking me? - Yeah. 177 00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:17,880 - Friend. - Friend? Do you? 178 00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:19,240 - Yeah. - I'm so sorry. 179 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:21,240 It's not me, is it? - No. 180 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:23,160 - That would be embarrassing. (LAUGHTER) 181 00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:25,040 - Oh, yeeeah. 182 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:28,040 - You've got nine minutes and jiggy seconds left. 183 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:29,440 - (LAUGHS) 184 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:31,800 - I'm gonna do word association. OK, do it with me. 185 00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:32,520 - OK. 186 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:34,240 Four. - Hump. 187 00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:36,240 (LAUGHTER) OK. 188 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:43,160 - Are you gonna make me remember these for another task? 189 00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:44,840 - No. - Look me in the eye. 190 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,960 - It's quite scary to look you in the eye. 191 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:48,120 (LAUGHTER) - Promise? 192 00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:50,120 - I don't make promises. 193 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:51,960 - Mm-hmmm. 194 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:54,240 - Word association ― three. 195 00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:57,080 Paul? 196 00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:59,280 Shake. 197 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:02,960 - That look more like breasts? - I think it's an owl looking down. 198 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:04,200 (LAUGHTER) 199 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:06,200 - Five. OK. 200 00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:08,960 Corpse. 201 00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:13,000 - So when I was 5 years old, I pissed my pants at school. 202 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:16,600 - And the image is some pants soaked in piss? 203 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:18,680 - (GUFFAWS) 204 00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:20,880 - Six. The devil's number. 205 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:23,320 Hosking. (LAUGHTER) 206 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:24,400 Mike Hosking. 207 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:27,440 - You're gonna make me do a maths equation with this or something, aren't you? 208 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,440 - Nah, I despise maths. 209 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:30,800 - (LAUGHS) 210 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:32,800 - (BLOWS WHISTLE) 211 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:34,240 - OK. 212 00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:35,600 - You happy with that? 213 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:37,240 - I'm stoked. Yeah. 214 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:38,160 - I'm happy. 215 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:40,800 - Should I say a number and then you say it? Yeah. 216 00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:41,800 - 48. 217 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:43,080 - Ffff... 218 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:44,440 far out. 219 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:46,120 I mean, it makes life really difficult. 220 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:46,680 - Mm. 221 00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:48,000 - How do you say seven 11? 222 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,920 Sex men 223 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:51,160 OYeee OYeee. 224 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:52,400 (LAUGHTER) 225 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:54,400 (SNORT-LAUGHS) 226 00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:59,080 - I better never see these again in my life. 227 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,080 (LAUGHTER) 228 00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:07,440 - I want to know more about this urinating your pants story, Alice. 229 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:11,480 - We were all seated on the side of the concrete basketball court, 230 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:15,840 and I was busting to go, and the teacher wouldn't let me go, and I just pissed. 231 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:18,160 (LAUGHTER) And the piss went all the way down, 232 00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:21,240 like, underneath everyone in the classroom's legs. 233 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:26,000 And then someone said 'Oh, someone pissed,' and I said 'Wasn't me.' 234 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,000 (LAUGHTER) 235 00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:31,920 - I need a moment to wrap my head around these breakthroughs in maths. 236 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:35,040 So let's have an ad break, and I'll see you shortly. 237 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:37,040 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 238 00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:44,840 (QUIRKY MUSIC) 239 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:47,080 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 240 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:51,840 - Nau mai, hoki mai. Welcome back to Taskmaster. 241 00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:55,640 Before the break, our contestants developed entirely new counting systems, 242 00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:58,880 and it all seemed pretty straightforward. 243 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:00,880 We probably need to have a look at them, if that's OK, Paul. 244 00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:03,880 - Sure thing, Jeremy. Here is Pax's. 245 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:04,880 - OK. 246 00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:07,960 I'll describe that as eight anthropomorphised amoebas 247 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:11,920 and the dark abyss of the heart there on the right. 248 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:14,960 You've got an inside of a school desk in the 1990s kind of vibe. 249 00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:18,080 - Yeah, I did think about doing a big detailed cock. 250 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:22,240 That would have really topped off the school desk energy. 251 00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:24,160 - Here's Jackie's. 252 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:25,040 - Ooh, fun. 253 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:27,240 - It's got a hieroglyphic sort of a feel to it. 254 00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:30,320 I like eight ― this tasteful side boob. 255 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:31,640 - Yes. - Ooh. 256 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:32,280 - Thank you. 257 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:33,080 - What about Jack's? 258 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:34,640 - Yes. 259 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:36,640 - OK. 260 00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:40,320 - So I worked out that the number 6729 would be 261 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:42,400 Hosking Pride Balls Yum Yum. 262 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:44,360 (LAUGHTER) 263 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:45,720 - Absolutely, yes. 264 00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:47,520 - Bree's? 265 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:48,520 (LAUGHTER) - Far out. 266 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:49,760 - Wow. 267 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:51,920 - Filthy, Bree, actually, I got to say. 268 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:55,360 - 'Taint' looks like someone from Invercargill pulling the finger. 269 00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:57,360 (LAUGHTER) 270 00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:00,400 - And lastly, it's Alice's. 271 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:03,000 - Huh. - Mm. 272 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:04,920 - What is the symbol for 'Hey?' 273 00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:06,360 - It's a sandal, 274 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:12,360 because 'Hey' reminded me of Jesus, which is the Spanish word for Jesus, 275 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:15,400 and Jesus wore sandals. - Wore sandals. 276 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,400 - Of course. - Of course! 277 00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:20,160 - So, I've got to score these somehow. 278 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:24,560 I would say that Jack and Pax, essentially, you guys both get two points, 279 00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:28,000 cos it just looks, from my perspective, like an insane load of crap. 280 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,040 (LAUGHTER) 281 00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:31,960 Alice ― some merit. I'll give you three points. 282 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:32,680 - Thank you. 283 00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:36,080 - Jackie ― cohesive in its childish simplicity, I thought. 284 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:37,520 - Thank you. - Four points for you. 285 00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:40,760 And I liked the sexual undertones of Bree's, to be honest. 286 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:42,520 (LAUGHTER) - Yes! 287 00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:45,240 - How are we going to go with the scores now, Paul? 288 00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:46,920 - Uh, Alice is on 'piss,' 289 00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:48,680 (LAUGHTER) 290 00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:49,800 ...Bree is on 'taint,' 291 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:52,160 Jack is on 'pride,' Jackie is on 'corpse,' 292 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:54,160 and Pax is on 'a-ha.' 293 00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:55,600 (LAUGHTER) 294 00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:56,800 - Very good, Paul. 295 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,000 (APPLAUSE) 296 00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,840 - Into another task? - Let's do another task. 297 00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:00,600 - OK. 298 00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:02,280 - What's important to know about this task 299 00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:05,600 is that it was filmed a couple of weeks after that last task. 300 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,600 (QUIRKY THEME MUSIC) 301 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:12,560 Hello, Alice. - Paul. 302 00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:13,560 - Wee! 303 00:12:13,560 --> 00:12:15,360 - Hey, Paul. 304 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,200 - Mandarin? 305 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:18,760 Thank you. 306 00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:21,760 - Why are you standing so close to me? 307 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:23,920 - You don't like it? - It's all right. 308 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:27,280 - (READS) 'Score 43 points playing the duck toss.' 309 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:28,720 Ooh, that sounds fun. 310 00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:30,720 - 'Closest to 43 wins.' 311 00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:32,840 - 'You must throw from the spot, 312 00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:35,960 'and you cannot move the spot or the duck receptacle. 313 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:40,360 - 'You have until you think you've scored 43 points.' 314 00:12:40,680 --> 00:12:42,600 - 'Your time starts now.' 315 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:46,080 - Oh, I see, so I have to throw them in these things. 316 00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:47,400 - Mm-hm. 317 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:48,360 - What is this shit? 318 00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:50,360 (LAUGHTER) 319 00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:54,240 - How do I know what each one's worth? 320 00:12:54,680 --> 00:12:58,200 - Well, it's written on it. You don't recognise those symbols? 321 00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:00,200 - Oh, no. (LAUGHTER) 322 00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:01,760 Are they all mine? 323 00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:03,760 - Oh, God. Paul. 324 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:05,760 - So you remember all your numbers? 325 00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:08,560 - I remember doing that exercise. 326 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,200 - (GROANS) 327 00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:14,640 (LEAF BLOWER WHIRRS) 328 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:16,680 - Do you want me to hold for that? 329 00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:18,120 - Excuse me. 330 00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:20,120 Excuse me. 331 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:22,280 - Huh? (LAUGHTER) 332 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:25,840 - Sorry. Can you mind not doing that for a little bit? 333 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:27,800 - I don't get one thing to myself. (LAUGHTER) 334 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:29,400 - We're just― It's a mess here. 335 00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:32,280 - I'm livid. - It's a mess. - We're just doing a task right now. 336 00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:34,520 (LEAF BLOWER WHIRRS) - Excuse me. - I'll just do this bit. 337 00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:36,600 - Just let her do that bit. 338 00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:39,680 - What? - I'll never forgive you. 339 00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:40,520 (LEAF BLOWER WHIRRS) 340 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:43,440 - To be honest, there's a lot more than I thought, so I might― yeah. 341 00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:44,960 - OK. - See ya. 342 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:45,920 - Thank you. 343 00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:47,920 (APPLAUSE) 344 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:52,240 - Alice, I can't believe you berated a member of the Taskmaster staff. 345 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:55,160 Rose Matafeo's fallen on hard times, and she needed that work. 346 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:56,360 (LAUGHTER) 347 00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:59,560 - I know for a fact she's not fallen on hard times. 348 00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:00,400 (LAUGHTER) 349 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:05,840 - Now I feel like it's time for our contestants to be hoist on their own petards. 350 00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:07,200 - What did you just call me? 351 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:08,520 (LAUGHTER) 352 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:10,840 - You guys didn't think that that was gonna come back, did you? 353 00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:12,840 - I would just like to say that I thought it would come back, 354 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:14,440 and I said it loads of times to Paul. 355 00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:17,040 - You are definitely not hoisted on a petard. 356 00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:18,600 - No, you are not. 357 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:20,000 - Who are we seeing first? 358 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:22,880 - You can count on these guys when it comes to counting. 359 00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:24,880 It's Jack and Bree. 360 00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:26,880 - Hi-yah! 361 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:29,760 I don't think that's how it's gonna go for the rest of the time. 362 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:31,360 Hey, we got one. 363 00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:33,280 - Do you know, when I dropped maths in year 11, 364 00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:35,280 I said to Mrs Beard 365 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:38,320 'See you later, lady. I'm not gonna need this ever again in my life.' 366 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:40,320 And she went 'Never disrespect maths. 367 00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:42,800 'You never know when you're gonna need it.' And that's that moment. 368 00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:44,840 - Do you wanna apologise to Mrs Beard? 369 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:46,040 - I'm so sorry, Mrs Beard. 370 00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:47,960 Maybe we can meet up for coffee or something like that. 371 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:50,440 If she's still alive. Anyway― 372 00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:52,520 Oh shit. 373 00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:54,520 So now I'm minus nine. 374 00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:57,040 - Boobies. 375 00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:59,040 I reckon that's two. 376 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,880 - No, we're on -16 right now. 377 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:04,440 - Let's go. 378 00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:06,040 Plus heart. 379 00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:07,840 I knew I should have written this down. 380 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:09,720 - Come on, Hosking. (LAUGHTER) 381 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:10,480 Booyah! 382 00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:12,880 OK, now we're on minus three. 383 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:14,800 - Where do you think you're currently at? 384 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:15,640 - 28. 385 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:19,040 And we're going for the dog in the middle. 386 00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:21,320 At least I'm good at one thing. The throwing. 387 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:23,440 - 13 again. Let's go 13 again. 388 00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:24,760 Oh, no, that's 16. 389 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:26,480 Oh, (BLEEP) 390 00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:27,360 So what am I on? 391 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,000 - Let's go for another six. 392 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:29,600 40. 393 00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:31,680 I kind of feel like boobies would be a three. 394 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:33,960 Right, we're going for the titties! (LAUGHTER) 395 00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:35,720 Oh, back to 34. 396 00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:37,160 - I think we're on 29, Paul. 397 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:41,640 OK, let's just go for another 16, and then we can work our way back. 398 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:43,640 Paul, get out of the way. 399 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:46,240 - Go in. 400 00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:47,320 Shit. 401 00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:48,520 - What do you think you're on now? 402 00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:50,440 - I have not one clue. 403 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:52,200 (LAUGHTER) 404 00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:54,200 - 25. We need minus two. 405 00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:57,440 - OK. Happy with that. Lock it in. 406 00:15:57,440 --> 00:15:59,920 - Bring it home. Bring it home. 407 00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:03,160 (WHOOPS) 408 00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:04,760 - Anything to say to Mrs Beard? 409 00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:06,040 (SCOFFS) 410 00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:07,640 Didn't need you after all. 411 00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:09,640 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 412 00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:13,000 Did I get the right amount? - 43 was the correct amount. 413 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:13,800 - Right. OK. 414 00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:16,320 - You seem to remember your number system quite well. 415 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:21,720 - Yeah, I just zoned in on the ones that I knew and tried my best to ignore the others. 416 00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:23,840 - That was quite smart. You knew Hosking was the devil's number. 417 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:25,400 - I did remember that, yes. 418 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:27,280 - So, Jack, obviously ― 46. 419 00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:29,160 So, pretty close. - Pretty close. 420 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:30,800 - And Bree ― 19. - (SCOFFS) (LAUGHTER) 421 00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:32,240 - You were a little breast-heavy. 422 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:35,720 - I was. I was just so zoned in on the ta-tas, 423 00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:38,280 And I just wanted to get those choozies and just... 424 00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:39,240 (LAUGHTER) 425 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:41,000 - And why wouldn't you? - You know what I'm talking about. 426 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,520 - I know exactly what you mean. Yeah, totally. (LAUGHTER) 427 00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:43,920 OK. Who's next, Paul? 428 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:47,560 - Getting their ducks in a row, It's Dux Assadi and Quackie van Beak. 429 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:48,600 (LAUGHTER) 430 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:50,680 - I'm gonna start with... 431 00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:54,760 Yes, exactly what I wanted. (LAUGHTER) 432 00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:58,880 (LAUGHTER) 433 00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:01,680 (LAUGHTER) 434 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:05,160 - I think that's four. - Divided by 'pill.' 435 00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:07,240 - How many zeros can fit into 'pill?' 436 00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:08,440 Zero 'pills.' 437 00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:14,520 - What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna whack right down into the negatives and then bounce up toa 43. 438 00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:16,320 - How far into the negatives are you gonna go? 439 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:17,840 - Just not too much further. 440 00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:19,840 - OK. 441 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:23,040 - That's not good. (LAUGHTER) 442 00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:25,480 Yep. (LAUGHTER) 443 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:27,720 - Oh. 444 00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:30,560 So that's plus whatever that one is. 445 00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:32,920 This is― What are we doing here, Paul? 446 00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:35,360 - And I think we're gonna need one more biggie. 447 00:17:35,360 --> 00:17:37,160 Oh, we definitely need a 'hump.' 448 00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:38,400 Hump. 449 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:39,640 Gonna times that. 450 00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:44,320 Cos, probably― What am I at now? (CLAMOURING, LAUGHTER) 451 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:48,680 - So what kind of number would you be happy with? 452 00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:50,680 - I don't know. 453 00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:56,920 43. (LAUGHTER) 454 00:17:58,440 --> 00:17:59,880 - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. OK. 455 00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:01,760 And... 456 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:02,920 done. (LAUGHTER) 457 00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:03,920 43! 458 00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:05,760 (EXHALES) Oh, man. My brain. 459 00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:08,720 That's crazy, but I got there. 43. (LAUGHTER) 460 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:09,840 - Are you sure it's 43? 461 00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:11,680 - Um, yeah. 462 00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:13,680 - (GROANS) (LAUGHTER) 463 00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,200 (APPLAUSE) 464 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:20,920 - Jackie, in some ways, your new number system actually made it quite pleasant, 465 00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:23,320 because you did not have a clue how badly you were doing. 466 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:26,080 - No, I just focused on positivity. 467 00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:30,400 And when I felt like I'd got it, I was like, 'I'm out. I did it.' 468 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,880 And I truly felt like I believed that. 469 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:33,880 - Do you still believe it? 470 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:37,320 - I don't now that I've seen the numbers. (LAUGHTER) 471 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:40,800 - Pax, I would say apologise to Paul for lashing out at him, 472 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:43,720 but that throw was so piss-weak. (LAUGHTER) 473 00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:47,440 - Yeah, I didn't want to hurt Paul, but I wanted to show him that I was annoyed. 474 00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:51,520 - What were the numbers in the end, Paul? - So Pax ― 2803, 475 00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:52,680 and Jackie... 476 00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:55,320 -59,929. (LAUGHTER) 477 00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:57,760 - Bingo. 478 00:18:57,760 --> 00:18:59,640 - OK. That is way too much counting. 479 00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:01,880 So let's let our brains just cool down for a while 480 00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:04,200 while these ads try to grab your attention. 481 00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:06,560 We'll see you in a moment when Taskmaster returns. 482 00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:08,560 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 483 00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:15,640 (QUIRKY MUSIC) 484 00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:17,960 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 485 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,600 - Welcome back to Taskmaster. 486 00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:25,720 Before the break, our contestants were counting with their bespoke number systems. 487 00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:29,680 And, Paul, I believe there's one more number cruncher to see. 488 00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:31,680 - Last, but not 'Elise,' 489 00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:33,720 it's Alice. (LAUGHTER) 490 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:35,720 - I'll be back. 491 00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:39,240 - What's on the paper? 492 00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:41,840 Key to your numbers. - Yeah. 493 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:45,600 Come here. - Me? I'm supposed to be working. 494 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:47,600 - What are you up to? 495 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:49,960 You're here visiting your nan. (LAUGHTER) 496 00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:51,480 Do you have no shame? 497 00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:55,840 Giving up family time to steal my limelight. 498 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:57,680 (LAUGHTER) 499 00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:59,680 Get out! 500 00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:06,000 Maybe I'll just start with one and see where I end up. 501 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,000 - OK. 502 00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:11,520 - OK, so -10. 503 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:14,440 So that's -19. 504 00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:16,920 OK, let's go for a plus 'piss.' 505 00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:19,440 - Got minus again. (LAUGHTER) 506 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:21,440 - So I'm at -40. 507 00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:25,040 (LAUGHS) 508 00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,400 -51. 509 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:31,680 Oh, no. (LAUGHTER) 510 00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:33,440 - You love these minuses. 511 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:35,920 - I have to plus my way out of it. 512 00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:38,440 -51. 513 00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:39,600 -40. 514 00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:41,600 -29. 515 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:44,480 -29 divided by 14. 516 00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:47,720 So it's basically negative two. 517 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:49,400 No. 518 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:51,120 - Really loving the― - Shut up. 519 00:20:51,120 --> 00:20:53,120 - OK. - Negative five. 520 00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:57,640 Negative five divided by 14. 521 00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:59,760 Roughly 0.3. (CLAMOURING) 522 00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:01,960 - No, Alice. So I'm at -3.3. 523 00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:04,520 I'm just gonna go for a piss to... (LAUGHTER) 524 00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:08,280 - Feel free to go for a piss at any time. - There we go. (LAUGHS) 525 00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:10,280 Come on. That's it. 526 00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:11,120 That's it. 527 00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:12,680 - What are you going for? - Five. 528 00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:15,080 - She's looking for piss. (LAUGHTER) 529 00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:17,160 - Three to go. Plus 'hay.' 530 00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:20,360 - She's in. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 531 00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:21,720 - Thank you, Alice. 532 00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:24,400 Yeah. Feel free to piss anytime. 533 00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:31,160 - Well done on being the only contestant to write down their numbers. 534 00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:34,560 - Thank you. I don't trust Paul. (LAUGHTER) 535 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:37,280 - I gotta say, Mrs Beard would be very impressed. 536 00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:37,800 (LAUGHTER) 537 00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:41,560 - I see you went for the Van Beek technique early, which is to go into the negatives. 538 00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:45,600 - Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't call that a technique so much as a catastrophic event. 539 00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:46,800 (LAUGHTER) 540 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:48,640 - Should we have a look at the scores, Paul? 541 00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:50,480 - Alice, extremely impressive. 542 00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:53,880 The target was 43. She got to 42.6. 543 00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:56,520 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 544 00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:58,120 - Where does that leave the scores? 545 00:21:58,120 --> 00:21:59,160 - One point for Jackie, 546 00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:01,360 two points for Pax, three points for Bree, 547 00:22:01,360 --> 00:22:04,480 four points for Jack and five points for Alice Sneddon. 548 00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:06,480 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 549 00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:13,080 - I am craving another task, Paul. - I know how 'tangry' you get. 550 00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:14,040 (LAUGHTER) 551 00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:16,720 It's hangry, but for tasks. (LAUGHTER) 552 00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:19,320 So let's get the party started. 553 00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:22,480 (DRAMATIC, QUIRKY THEME MUSIC) 554 00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:27,640 - Oh... 555 00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:28,880 Paul. 556 00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:30,720 - Hi, Paul. 557 00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:32,720 - Yes, please. 558 00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:35,080 - That's wrong. 559 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:38,000 Ooh. 560 00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:40,560 (PARTY HORNS HONK) 561 00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:44,840 - (SIGHS) 562 00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:50,160 - (READS) 'Perform a party trick. Most impressive party trick wins.' 563 00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:54,280 - 'Your party trick cannot last more than 30 seconds.' 564 00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:58,760 - 'You have until the studio record of episode eight.' 565 00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:00,400 - 'Your time starts now.' 566 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:03,520 - Can you do any party tricks currently? 567 00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:06,040 - I can dislocate my left shoulder. You want to see that? 568 00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:08,040 - No, not at all. 569 00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:09,400 (CROWD GROANS) 570 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:11,400 - Can you hit my hand? 571 00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:12,560 (GROANS) 572 00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:15,080 You son of a bitch, Paul! (LAUGHTER) 573 00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:17,000 (GROANS) 574 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:19,000 (LAUGHTER) 575 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:22,000 Pretty cool, eh? - Really good. 576 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:23,840 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 577 00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:25,080 - Oh, this is gonna be fun. 578 00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:27,600 So how long have these guys had to prepare their party tricks? 579 00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:28,920 - At least five weeks. 580 00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:31,320 - All right, I think we're gonna start with Bree. 581 00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:32,440 - Oh, no. - OK, Bree. 582 00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:34,600 So, go up on the stage, perform your trick. 583 00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:36,600 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 584 00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:39,520 (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS) 585 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:48,000 (LAUGHTER, WHOOPS) 586 00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:54,400 - Wow. - Whoa! 587 00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,400 - Yeah! (CHEERING) 588 00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:00,200 - Wow. (LAUGHTER) 589 00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:02,680 (LAUGHS) 590 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:05,640 Whoa! 591 00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:10,640 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 592 00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:12,640 (BANG!) 593 00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:17,920 - I'd hate to follow that act, to be honest, Alice. 594 00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:19,400 - Oh. Come on. (LAUGHTER) 595 00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:20,800 - You're up next. - All right. 596 00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:23,800 - JACKIE: Go Alice. - JACK: Go Alice. 597 00:24:24,120 --> 00:24:24,960 Oh. 598 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:27,640 - This is a game of Three Card Monty. 599 00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:29,040 These are also cherries. 600 00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:32,920 I will be, uh, tying a knot in this while we do it. 601 00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:35,040 Ah. Anything in there? 602 00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:38,120 - She's wearing a wire. (LAUGHTER) 603 00:24:39,360 --> 00:24:40,920 - OK, so this is going in. 604 00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:46,720 So all you need to do is follow the queen. 605 00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:48,640 See that? - Mm-hm. 606 00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:50,240 - Everyone see that? Here we go. 607 00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:52,240 OK. Don't lose concentration. 608 00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:54,240 OK. Where's the queen? 609 00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:59,000 (EXCLAIMS) 610 00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:01,840 And, there you go. 611 00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:04,440 Isn't that incredible? 612 00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:07,040 - It's knotted. - Hey, let's go! 613 00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:09,680 - OK, Pax is up next. 614 00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:12,680 (CHEERING) 615 00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:17,160 (CROWD CLAPS RHYTHMICALLY) 616 00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:21,800 (CHEERING) 617 00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:24,360 - Kind of worked― Kind of did it. - So you went on each finger. 618 00:25:24,360 --> 00:25:25,960 - I went on each finger. Should I try one more time? 619 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:28,720 - I think you just need to explain that you're doing each finger. 620 00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:31,280 - Well, I wouldn't have need to explain it if I nailed it. 621 00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:33,280 (LAUGHTER) 622 00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:37,120 (CROWD CLAMOURS) 623 00:25:37,120 --> 00:25:39,080 (CONTESTANTS GROAN) 624 00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:40,240 (APPLAUSE) 625 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:43,400 - Jackie, would you like to go up and perform your party trick? 626 00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:44,600 - Happy to. 627 00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:45,960 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 628 00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:47,960 (SULTRY MUSIC PLAYS) 629 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:52,000 (CROWD WHOOPS) 630 00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:55,200 - Wow. 631 00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:04,880 (LAUGHTER) 632 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,000 (LAUGHTER) 633 00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:20,880 - Oh, the sock. 634 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:22,880 - Yes! 635 00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:27,520 (SULTRY MUSIC GETS FASTER) 636 00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:33,160 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 637 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:41,200 - The reverse striptease. 638 00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:41,920 - Yeah. 639 00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:44,960 - So, as a party trick, you turn up undressed? 640 00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,160 - I tend to do. Yeah. (LAUGHTER) 641 00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:49,520 - Jack Ansett. - Yes, Jeremy. 642 00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:50,800 - Your party trick. 643 00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:59,040 - So, for my party trick, Jeremy, I made a Facebook event for my 27th birthday party. 644 00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:05,280 It was a dress up party, and I invited about 100, um, so, people to it on Facebook. 645 00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:11,640 Um, and the trick part was all of those people knew that the party wasn't real, 646 00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:12,560 um, 647 00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:13,800 except for Paul. 648 00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:15,880 (LAUGHTER, CLAMOURING) 649 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:19,000 I guess we play the clip. 650 00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:21,800 (UPBEAT, TRIPPY MUSIC PLAYS) 651 00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:27,920 (MUSIC STOPS) 652 00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:29,600 (LAUGHTER) 653 00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:30,880 LAUGHS: Hi, Paul. 654 00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:31,760 (LAUGHTER) 655 00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:33,120 (ANIMAL GRUNTS) 656 00:27:33,120 --> 00:27:35,120 (LAUGHTER) 657 00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:41,800 (CLAPS SLOWLY) 658 00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:45,680 What do you reckon? 659 00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:47,680 - (SIGHS) - (GIGGLES) 660 00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:50,640 - So, what was your party trick? 661 00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:52,560 - That there's no one here. 662 00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:53,560 - Mm. 663 00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:54,480 Are you happy with that? 664 00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:56,480 - LAUGHS: Yeah. 665 00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:58,200 (CACKLES) 666 00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:00,200 Thanks, Paul. (LAUGHS) 667 00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:03,280 Very happy. 668 00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:05,280 (LLAMA BLEATS) 669 00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:08,480 - Thank you, Jack. - See ya. (LAUGHS) 670 00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:11,120 Wow. That went according to plan, I'd say. 671 00:28:11,120 --> 00:28:13,120 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 672 00:28:16,360 --> 00:28:19,840 - Paul looked genuinely angry about that. 673 00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:20,760 - Yeah. 674 00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:22,480 - How long were you wearing the costume for? 675 00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:23,640 - So... 676 00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:24,760 - Tell them, Paul. (LAUGHTER) 677 00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:27,760 - I was going into the Taskmaster office that day, 678 00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:31,560 and decided to save time, I would wear the costume all today. 679 00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:32,880 (LAUGHTER) 680 00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:34,880 - I saw you that day. 681 00:28:35,360 --> 00:28:38,200 - And I felt bad that you hadn't been invited to Jack's birthday. 682 00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:40,200 (LAUGHTER) 683 00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:44,040 - OK, so one point for Pax. - Oh, (BLEEP) 684 00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:46,840 - Two points for Alice and her magic trick. 685 00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:49,520 I think three points for Bree, 686 00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:53,640 four points for Jackie Van Beek and the reverse burlesque... 687 00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:54,080 - Thank you. 688 00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:58,880 - And I'll say five points for Jack Ansett's party trick trick party. 689 00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:02,240 - Thank you, Jeremy. - Well earned. - Well earned. 690 00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:07,480 - The party don't stop until we need to fulfil our contractual obligations to advertisers, 691 00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:09,520 which is right now. We'll see you soon. 692 00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:11,520 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 693 00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:19,200 (QUIRKY MUSIC) 694 00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:21,280 CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 695 00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:25,720 - Kia ora ano. Welcome back to Taskmaster. 696 00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:30,240 If you're just tuning in, you've just missed out on watching Jackie Van Beek get dressed. 697 00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:32,400 (LAUGHTER) I'd like another task, please, Paul. 698 00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:35,200 - Those in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, 699 00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:38,520 but those in paper towers shouldn't be on a trampoline. 700 00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:40,920 (QUIRKY THEME MUSIC) 701 00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:47,600 - Hello. 702 00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:49,840 Oh. Hello, Paul. - Hello, Jackie. 703 00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:52,080 - G'day, Paul. - Hello, Bree. 704 00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:53,880 Hello, Alice. - Hey, Paul. 705 00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:54,960 - Hello, Jack. 706 00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:57,040 - Oh, the old trampoline. 707 00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:02,040 - Hello, Pax. 708 00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:04,200 - I had a trampoline like this when I was a kid, actually. 709 00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:05,160 - Really? 710 00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:07,680 - You got to have the net these days. 711 00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:08,600 - Or what? 712 00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:11,360 - Like, cos once I was on here when I was a kid, 713 00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:15,160 and then I fell and landed in the middle of one of these springs. 714 00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:18,560 It's actually quite triggering for me, but... anyway. (LAUGHTER) 715 00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:20,640 - All righty. (READS) 'Build the toilets―' 716 00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:21,200 (LAUGHTER) 717 00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:24,880 - 'Build the toilets―' (LAUGHS) (LAUGHTER) 718 00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:28,960 - 'Build the tallest toilet paper tower.' 719 00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:31,080 - 'Toilet paper tower.' There's the toilet paper. Toilet paper― 720 00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:32,760 'In the middle of this trampoline.' 721 00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:34,400 - 'Tallest toilet paper tower wins.' 722 00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:36,400 - That's a tongue twister, Paul. - Mm-hm. 723 00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:38,200 - 'You have 10 minutes.' 724 00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:40,280 - 'Your time starts now.' 725 00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:47,040 - Do I have to? - Yeah. 726 00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:49,040 (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE) 727 00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:53,400 - I was fascinated, Jack, that you had a spring trampoline. 728 00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:56,240 Cos I just kind of thought your general belligerence 729 00:30:56,240 --> 00:31:00,480 was the result of that generation of yours being cotton wool-parented. (LAUGHTER) 730 00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:03,880 - No, my mum didn't give a (BLEEP) (LAUGHTER) 731 00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:06,880 She were too busy, you know, inside with her Chardonnay. 732 00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:07,640 Just― 733 00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:09,720 Oh, sorry. She's here. - She's here tonight. 734 00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:12,200 - I was just about to say your mother is here. 735 00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:14,360 - I think she did the best with what she was given. 736 00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:16,360 (LAUGHTER) 737 00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:17,720 - Fair point, yeah. 738 00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:18,880 - Who's up first, Paul? 739 00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:21,880 - They have the same birthday and nearly the same name; 740 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:23,880 it's Jackie and Jack A. 741 00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:28,120 - Is this all the toilet paper that you have available to me? 742 00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:29,640 - You think you need more than that? 743 00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:30,880 - Yeah. 744 00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:32,880 - OK. - I'll be back. 745 00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:34,920 - Can you give me a hand, please? 746 00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:37,720 Because I'm gonna lift all of this onto the― 747 00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:39,720 - I'm not gonna help you with that, sorry. 748 00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:42,440 - Are there any other toilets in here? 749 00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:44,440 (PLUCKY MUSIC) 750 00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:47,520 - Tallest tower. 751 00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:49,520 - Toilet. Toilet. A-ha. 752 00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:53,440 - I need, like, a big circular kind of ring. 753 00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:55,400 - OK. - Yeah. 754 00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:57,800 - OK. In hindsight, that wasn't worth it. 755 00:31:57,800 --> 00:31:59,120 But I'm gonna get started. (LAUGHTER) 756 00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:02,760 If someone could do a shop, because there's no toilet paper left in the house. 757 00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:04,680 - Oh, this is good. This is better than mine. 758 00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:07,040 - How much time do I have? - Seven minutes and 34 seconds. 759 00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:08,040 - Oh my God, OK. 760 00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:09,880 - Do you wanna have that central? - Yeah. 761 00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:13,120 - Kind of equidistant from kind of these ends and these ends. 762 00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:13,760 - Gotcha. 763 00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:16,320 - This is just a tip for you if you ever want to do this. 764 00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:19,280 - I need something to make sure it doesn't fall over. 765 00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:21,000 Do you have a problem with this? - No. 766 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:21,680 - Sweet. 767 00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:25,600 - When you said you're not gonna help ― which I find cruel and unfair ― 768 00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:27,600 would you be able to pass me the toilet rolls? 769 00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:28,360 - OK. 770 00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:30,240 So you think that's a toilet paper towel? 771 00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:31,840 - Yes, Paul. - OK. 772 00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:35,520 - Just pass them nicely and quickly, please. 773 00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:37,120 Not too quickly, hold on. - Sorry. 774 00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:39,120 - If I get off... 775 00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:40,520 OK. 776 00:32:40,520 --> 00:32:41,280 Yes. 777 00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:42,880 - See? Now... You see? 778 00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:45,040 - You know, they didn't build Rome in a day, Paul. 779 00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:46,640 And you've given me seven minutes. 780 00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:49,160 - You actually had 10 minutes, but you spent the first two minutes 781 00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:52,360 getting one and a half rolls of toilet paper from your toilet. (LAUGHTER) 782 00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:54,800 - What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna actually take height off. 783 00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:58,160 - So you're not going to add to the height? You're just going sort of girth? 784 00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:01,080 - Could you just come over here so I can touch your shoulder, please? Ready? 785 00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:03,080 - Oh, I can just do... 786 00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:04,280 (GROANS) 787 00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:06,720 - And it's all about being quite, kind of, polite to the tower. 788 00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:07,840 Like, going... 789 00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:09,080 - (GRUNTS) 790 00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:10,800 - ...'Do you feel OK?' 791 00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:11,600 - (WHIMPERS) 792 00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:14,480 I'm gonna go one more. I need to stand on something. 793 00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:16,480 - 12 seconds. 794 00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:20,560 (TRILLS WHISTLE) 795 00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:22,560 (APPLAUSE) 796 00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:26,720 - Jack, you didn't think it was an overestimation of your abilities 797 00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:30,440 when you looked at that giant tower and you thought 'You know what? I need three more rolls.' 798 00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:33,120 (LAUGHTER) - Yeah. I think it's an oversight on the production staff 799 00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:37,440 that they only allowed one and a half toilet rolls for, what, 30 crew? 800 00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:39,440 (LAUGHTER) 801 00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:41,560 - How are the heights, Paul? 802 00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:43,560 - Jackie ― 1.29m. 803 00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:46,640 Jack ― 1.43m. 804 00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:48,400 - Ooh, nice. (CROWD OOH'S) 805 00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:50,360 - Up next ― you've heard of a six pack, 806 00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:52,360 Well, here's a one Pax. 807 00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:53,560 (LAUGHTER) 808 00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:55,720 - I feel like sunning my asshole right now. 809 00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:57,040 - What does that mean? 810 00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:58,880 - Like, I point my butthole to the sun. 811 00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:01,840 - How are you spelling 'sun?' - (LAUGHS) 812 00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:03,840 (LAUGHTER) 813 00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:08,360 - Just cos we are filming this. - (LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY) 814 00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:09,520 S-U-N, man. 815 00:34:09,520 --> 00:34:11,520 - OK. S-U-N. (LAUGHTER) 816 00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:14,880 - I'm not gonna point my asshole at a small boy. 817 00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:17,240 - OK, well, I just want to clarify. - That is― 818 00:34:17,240 --> 00:34:21,920 Have you started the time? - Yeah. You have eight minutes 55. - Aw, shit. Damn. 819 00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:23,920 (LAUGHTER) 820 00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:27,120 How much time do I have? - 7 and a half minutes. 821 00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:28,800 - Ah, that's heaps of time. 822 00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:31,440 - You got 6 and a half minutes. - Shut up! 823 00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:33,800 How much time do I have left? - Five minutes. 824 00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:34,880 - (SCOFFS) 825 00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:36,880 Oh my God, bro. 826 00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:39,440 How much time do I have? 827 00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:41,720 - One minute and 58 seconds. 828 00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:43,760 No, no. 829 00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:49,000 - (GRUNTS) 830 00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:57,520 This actually works, dude. 831 00:34:57,520 --> 00:34:58,760 Paul, try it with me. 832 00:34:58,760 --> 00:35:01,200 - Does it still work if there's no boy? 833 00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:02,840 (LAUGHTER) 834 00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:04,640 - (LAUGHS MANIACALLY) 835 00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:06,680 There's an entire camera crew over there. 836 00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:09,960 And I guarantee you, all the men are sons. 837 00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:12,440 Either way, it'll work. Trust me. 838 00:35:12,440 --> 00:35:14,320 - I'm on the clock. 839 00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:15,680 You got 20 seconds. 840 00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:17,840 You don't want to just stack one on top of the other? 841 00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:19,840 - All right. For you. 842 00:35:22,240 --> 00:35:24,080 - (TRILLS WHISTLE) 843 00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:26,080 (APPLAUSE) 844 00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:30,840 - So the message, Pax, that you're sending your children and future generations 845 00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:33,480 is that when the going gets tough, sun your asshole. 846 00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:34,960 (LAUGHTER) - Yeah. 847 00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:38,320 It's quite hairy down there, so it is difficult for it to get in. 848 00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:40,160 It is quite rainforesty down there. 849 00:35:40,160 --> 00:35:40,720 - Yes. 850 00:35:40,720 --> 00:35:42,800 How tall was Pax's tower? 851 00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:44,920 - 23cm. (LAUGHTER) 852 00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:48,360 - More toilet paper towers, please, Paul. 853 00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:50,160 - It's the ladies and the tramp. 854 00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,160 It's Bree and Alice. 855 00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:55,920 - Should we do a quick game of Crack the Egg? 856 00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:58,440 - You've only got nine minutes, 15 seconds. - Yeah, but it'd be kind of fun. 857 00:35:58,440 --> 00:35:59,960 - Do you want to just give me a hand with this? 858 00:35:59,960 --> 00:36:01,080 - No, sorry. 859 00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:03,080 - Double bounce. 860 00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:05,040 - Just come grab the other end of this. 861 00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:06,600 - I'm not gonna grab the other end of that. 862 00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:07,840 - Come on, Paul! 863 00:36:07,840 --> 00:36:08,680 - Paul, please. 864 00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:10,880 - No. That's the, sort of, whole part of the task. 865 00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:13,920 - Oh, (BLEEP) sake, Paul, this is such a waste. 866 00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:16,360 - We'll use it. - You don't reuse this. 867 00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:18,360 - What do you mean, reuse? 868 00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:20,120 - (GRUNTS) - You cracked me. 869 00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:23,800 - If that was the challenge, I feel like I'd win. 870 00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:25,000 - What are you going for here? 871 00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:26,760 - I'm going through the middle of the tramp. 872 00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:27,560 - Wow. 873 00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:31,480 - Where'd you get all this toilet paper from? Did you stockpile it during Covid? 874 00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:32,120 - Yeah. 875 00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:33,880 - How tall have other people gotten? 876 00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:36,480 - I reckon Pax is about six foot. 877 00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:40,040 - Are you a folder or a scruncher? - I'd rather not say. 878 00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:42,000 - There's no way you reused this toilet paper. 879 00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:44,280 - How come? - Cos it's clean. 880 00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:46,320 - You're 100% a folder. 881 00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:49,120 - We don't use it and then reuse it for the task. 882 00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:51,040 - I bet you get clean wipes. 883 00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:52,360 - We reuse it. And then... 884 00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:53,840 And then it flushes. 885 00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:56,280 - So you're going to wipe your bum with this? 886 00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:58,280 - Big time. (LAUGHTER) 887 00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:01,400 - Do I have to be off the trampoline, Paul? 888 00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:03,520 - All the information you need is in the task. 889 00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:05,240 - I knew you were gonna say that. 890 00:37:05,240 --> 00:37:07,240 - (GRUNTS) 891 00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:09,240 - What's up? 892 00:37:09,240 --> 00:37:10,920 - Can I rip a hole in the tramp? 893 00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:12,920 - (EXHALES) 894 00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:14,000 (GRUNTS) 895 00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:14,640 Aww. 896 00:37:14,640 --> 00:37:15,600 (AUDIENCE GROANS) 897 00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:17,560 That's all right. We got time. How much time, Paul? 898 00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:20,200 - One minute and 59. - (BLEEP) Not that much time. (LAUGHTER) 899 00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:22,680 - I'm happy to not rip a hole in the tramp, 900 00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:26,400 as long as you can guarantee me that this counts as one full tower. 901 00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:29,480 - Oh, no! Oh, no! Disaster has struck. 902 00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:32,240 - I need your word that this counts as one tower. 903 00:37:32,240 --> 00:37:34,040 Otherwise, I'm ripping a hole. What's the time? 904 00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:35,320 - You got 52 seconds. 905 00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:37,280 - OK, so you have five seconds. 906 00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:39,400 - I shouldn't have stood up. It was a bad idea. 907 00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:41,400 Oh my God. 908 00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:43,960 - Three... - I don't think you can even rip a hole that fast. 909 00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:44,800 - ...two― OK. 910 00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:47,760 - I told myself I wasn't gonna get flustered today. 911 00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:49,720 I'm flustering. 912 00:37:49,720 --> 00:37:51,400 - Are you gonna try and rip a hole? 913 00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:52,920 - Oh (BLEEP) 914 00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:54,120 - 29 seconds. 915 00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:56,000 - Oh, you bastard. 916 00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:59,280 - Are you trying to saw a hole with a chalice? - (LAUGHS) 917 00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:00,440 - Oh my God! 918 00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:02,440 - LAUGHS: Yes. 919 00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:04,320 - Five seconds. 920 00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:06,920 - Should I go for one more, Paul? 921 00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:08,880 - (TRILLS WHISTLE) 922 00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:10,880 - (LAUGHS) 923 00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:13,120 - How's that, Paul? - It's good. 924 00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:15,720 Are you happy with that? - Yeah. 925 00:38:15,720 --> 00:38:19,480 - You want to measure it? - I usually measure once you've left. 926 00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:21,480 (LAUGHTER) 927 00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:23,640 - Of course you do. 928 00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:26,360 - And what if the Taskmaster says it's two different towers? 929 00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:29,040 - Well, then we'll have to fight. 930 00:38:32,240 --> 00:38:34,240 (LAUGHTER) 931 00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:37,440 - Thank you, Alice. - No worries. 932 00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:39,360 - Thank you, Bree. - Thanks, Paul. 933 00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:41,000 Oh, God. 934 00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:43,000 (APPLAUSE) 935 00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:47,160 - Bree, it's good to finally meet someone like me 936 00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:50,240 who assesses every person they meet as either a scruncher or a folder. 937 00:38:50,240 --> 00:38:50,720 - Mm-hm. 938 00:38:50,720 --> 00:38:53,400 Can you say what all of us are? 939 00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:55,400 - Absolutely. I've got a real gift for it. 940 00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:55,800 - OK. 941 00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:56,800 - Folder. 942 00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:57,680 Folder. 943 00:38:57,680 --> 00:38:59,040 - Don't. 944 00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:00,960 (LAUGHTER) 945 00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:05,520 - Strangely, I'm getting a bidet vibe from you. I don't know why. 946 00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:06,800 Folder, folder. 947 00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:09,160 Am I correct? - Yep, correct. 100%. 948 00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:10,800 - I'm straight into the bathtub. 949 00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:12,160 (LAUGHTER) 950 00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:14,760 - Should we look at some stats? - Yeah, let's do that. 951 00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:16,640 (LAUGHTER) 952 00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:19,600 I mean, I could chat toilet paper all night, to be honest, but... 953 00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:22,040 - Bree ― 1.5m. 954 00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:23,240 Alice's... 955 00:39:23,240 --> 00:39:25,040 Do you count that as one tower? 956 00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:27,320 - So there was a bottom part underneath the tramp, right? 957 00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:27,840 - Yes. 958 00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:29,280 - And then that was touching the tramp. 959 00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:31,960 And then there were a whole lot more on top of the tramp. 960 00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:33,440 - Yes. - Yeah, I count that as one. 961 00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:34,960 - OK. - That's a tower. 962 00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:39,600 - With that being accepted, Alice's tower was 1.87m. 963 00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:41,000 - Ooh. - Ooh. 964 00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:43,520 - Still not that high. (LAUGHTER) 965 00:39:43,520 --> 00:39:45,720 - Which means one point for Pax, 966 00:39:45,720 --> 00:39:46,880 two points for Bree, 967 00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:48,120 three points for Jackie, 968 00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:49,200 four points for Jack, 969 00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:51,160 and five points for Alice Sneddon. 970 00:39:51,160 --> 00:39:53,160 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 971 00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:58,640 - Next up ― the greatest live task in the history of this episode. 972 00:39:58,640 --> 00:39:59,240 (LAUGHTER) 973 00:39:59,240 --> 00:40:01,040 But first, some ads. We'll see you shortly. 974 00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:03,040 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 975 00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:11,480 (QUIRKY MUSIC) 976 00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:14,080 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 977 00:40:15,680 --> 00:40:16,880 - Welcome back to Taskmaster. 978 00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:19,000 Almost time for our live task. 979 00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:22,280 But first, Paul, let's get a little score update. 980 00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:24,480 - Leading the pack with 20 points, 981 00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:27,000 It's Jack. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 982 00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:29,000 - Can you believe it? 983 00:40:29,240 --> 00:40:31,000 - It's Jack's episode to lose. 984 00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:35,000 All right, contestants, please head up to the stage for our final task of the show. 985 00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:37,000 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 986 00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:41,640 OK, Paul, who's reading the task tonight? 987 00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:42,800 - Bree Tomasel. 988 00:40:42,800 --> 00:40:43,800 - Here we go. 989 00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:48,280 (READS) 'Burst the balloon six seconds after Paul says 'burst.' 990 00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:52,240 'Crack the soda cans six seconds after Paul says 'crack.' 991 00:40:52,240 --> 00:40:55,840 'Pop the champagne six seconds after Paul says 'pop,' 992 00:40:55,840 --> 00:41:00,000 or bang the confetti six seconds after Paul says 'bang.' 993 00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:01,800 'Closest to the time wins. 994 00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:03,160 'There are four rounds. 995 00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:05,960 'You may only do one action per round. 996 00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:08,960 Your time from each round will be combined. 997 00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:14,440 'If you do the wrong action, you will be given a 20 second penalty.' 998 00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:16,040 - JACK: Ah. - JACKIE: What does that mean? 999 00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:20,720 - So, can you say that again? So― burst, crack, pop, bang. 1000 00:41:20,960 --> 00:41:23,360 - So just to clarify. - Can you say it one more time? 1001 00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:25,360 (LAUGHTER) 1002 00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:26,960 - OK. We've really upset them. 1003 00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:28,160 - Are you ready for round one? 1004 00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:28,880 - Ready. - Yep. 1005 00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:33,800 - I was walking down the street when I felt a blast of wind shoot past me. 1006 00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:34,640 Boom! 1007 00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:37,760 It set off a snap and hit me like some champagne. 1008 00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:40,280 I married a rat. Clang! Snap! Crack! 1009 00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:43,120 Launch confetti. I felt like a balloon exploding. 1010 00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:46,720 Rapture and fracture. It's time for a soda. 1011 00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:51,960 (LAUGHTER) 1012 00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:55,040 (RAUCOUS LAUGHTER) 1013 00:41:55,400 --> 00:41:56,520 - Round two. 1014 00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:57,880 It's time for a soda. 1015 00:41:57,880 --> 00:41:59,440 Swoosh! Marry a rat. 1016 00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:01,120 Step on a snap. Explode! 1017 00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:03,240 When I blast confetti, I drink soda pop. 1018 00:42:03,240 --> 00:42:05,920 Snap the concrete and shoot the champagne. 1019 00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:09,960 Four, five, six ― I felt like a balloon exploding. 1020 00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:12,960 Rapture and fracture. - (WHIMPERS) 1021 00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:15,040 God. (POP!) 1022 00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:17,040 (LAUGHTER) 1023 00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:18,320 - That was hard. 1024 00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:19,560 - Round three. 1025 00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:22,160 I shot a glance at a glass of champagne. 1026 00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:24,240 Boom! Confetti fills the sky. 1027 00:42:24,240 --> 00:42:26,840 I crack a smile and snap my fingers ― smack. 1028 00:42:26,840 --> 00:42:29,560 A balloon hits me. This song is a bop. 1029 00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:32,360 The champagne pours and the soda flies. 1030 00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:34,960 Can you do the cancan? Yes I can. 1031 00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:38,840 You must do one action each round. 1032 00:42:38,840 --> 00:42:40,600 - I did. - I did. 1033 00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:42,600 - Alice? 1034 00:42:43,120 --> 00:42:45,120 (LAUGHTER) 1035 00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:47,880 OK, this is the final round. 1036 00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:49,320 - Oh my gosh. 1037 00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:50,240 - Crash, bang! 1038 00:42:50,240 --> 00:42:52,040 I hit the bottle like a drum. 1039 00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:53,760 Do the balloon, open the can. 1040 00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:56,480 Give me confetti. I want champagne now! 1041 00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:58,480 Blast! Boom! 1042 00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:01,720 (APPLAUSE) 1043 00:43:01,720 --> 00:43:04,160 - Go, Pax. - I think mine's broken. 1044 00:43:04,160 --> 00:43:05,960 - You have to twist it. - Which way? 1045 00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:07,560 - Different ways. - So you follow the arrows. 1046 00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:11,120 One hand goes one way. One hand goes the other way. - Down here. Down here. 1047 00:43:11,440 --> 00:43:12,880 (BANG!) (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 1048 00:43:12,880 --> 00:43:16,000 - All right. Come on down and we'll score it. 1049 00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:18,000 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 1050 00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:23,040 Let's assign some values to these people's efforts. 1051 00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:25,280 - So, the first round was a can, 1052 00:43:25,280 --> 00:43:27,360 second round, champagne, 1053 00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:29,000 third round, can, 1054 00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:30,600 fourth round, confetti. 1055 00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:34,480 So now, the total time difference across the four rounds. 1056 00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:39,200 Alice was off by 27 seconds, but she was correct 100% of the time. 1057 00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:40,120 - That's good. - Nice. 1058 00:43:40,120 --> 00:43:44,520 - Pax, 29 seconds, but again correct 100% of the time. 1059 00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:46,600 Jack, 14 seconds. 1060 00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:47,880 - Ooh. 1061 00:43:47,880 --> 00:43:49,600 - Jackie, 12 seconds. 1062 00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:51,160 - Oh! - Ooh. 1063 00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:53,160 - Both correct 100% of the time. 1064 00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:54,400 - How did we do it? 1065 00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:58,800 - Bree was only five seconds difference... (ALL GASP) 1066 00:43:58,800 --> 00:44:01,800 ...but was wrong twice. (ALL GROAN) 1067 00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:02,800 - Right. 1068 00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:07,440 - So with the two 20 second penalties, her time difference was 45 seconds. 1069 00:44:07,440 --> 00:44:08,880 (ALL GROAN) 1070 00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:12,040 That means one point for Bree, two points for Pax, 1071 00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:13,200 three points for Alice, 1072 00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:17,200 four points for Jack, and five points for Jacqui van Beek. 1073 00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:19,880 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) - How does she do it? 1074 00:44:19,880 --> 00:44:20,600 - Unreal. 1075 00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:23,560 - OK, so what does that mean for our episode? 1076 00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:26,360 - That means for the first time in his life, 1077 00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:29,440 the winner of episode eight is Jack Ansett! 1078 00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:31,440 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 1079 00:44:32,360 --> 00:44:33,440 - Oh my god! 1080 00:44:33,440 --> 00:44:34,960 - Oh. - Well done. 1081 00:44:34,960 --> 00:44:36,280 - Congratulations, Jack. 1082 00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:40,280 You are now the proud owner of some things Paul would love to have, 1083 00:44:40,280 --> 00:44:41,120 but he can't. 1084 00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:44,080 Head up on the stage and take your bounty. 1085 00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:45,720 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 1086 00:44:45,720 --> 00:44:47,880 Thanks, everyone. We'll see you next time. 1087 00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:49,840 Po marie. 1088 00:44:49,840 --> 00:44:51,080 (THEME MUSIC) 1089 00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:53,080 - Time to go, everyone. 1090 00:44:53,320 --> 00:44:55,320 (CHEERS) 1091 00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:03,400 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 1092 00:45:08,600 --> 00:45:10,440 - Curtains up. Light the lights. 1093 00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:12,440 It's opening night. 1094 00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:15,280 - I'm back for more. 1095 00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:18,200 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 1096 00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:20,760 - Kind of beautiful. Kind of poetic, if you think about it. 1097 00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:21,600 - (VOCALISES) 1098 00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:22,360 - (VOCALISES) 1099 00:45:22,360 --> 00:45:23,080 - (VOCALISES) 1100 00:45:23,080 --> 00:45:23,960 (BOTH VOCALISE) 1101 00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:26,120 - I went for harmony. - Oh, I don't know what that means. 1102 00:45:26,120 --> 00:45:28,520 (ALL SING ON TOP OF ONE ANOTHER) 1103 00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:31,240 - So this is sort of the scene, like, in One Day More in Les Mis. 1104 00:45:31,240 --> 00:45:34,240 - It's only one day more! (LAUGHTER)