Markl, Markl!
MAAAAAAARKL!
- Aren't you afraid of coming with me? - No, no.
"The Carcavelos Market."
Good evening, I'm Vasco Palmeirim
and I welcome you all to Taskmaster.
The show where five people who have years-long careers
make scenes that we all will remember for years to come.
Ahead of us, another night where we'll watch tasks
that will make you think about two things, at your home.
First thing: "How would I do this?"
Second thing: "I'm glad they are the ones doing this."
And now that I speak about it, I'll remind you that four of your contestants
are fighting for the most prestigious award,
the most wanted in the Portuguese television,
that being the "Palmeirinha Head."
An applause for my mini head, please.
And before I present to you the Fantastic Five
I shall remind you that besides me I always have a man
that, actually, bought a gabardine over the last few days.
To him, it's one of those used by classic detectives,
when they work on their cases.
For the police, it's one of those used by some perverts
with nothing underneath so they can show everyone their material.
-Good luck with that, Nuno. -Thank you.
Ladies and Gentlemen, make some noise for your love, Nuno Markl!
Thank you.
[Vasco] How are you feeling tonight?
I'm good.
I was in my dressing room
working on my project of reproducing big historical battles.
Right now, we're in The Battle of Aljubarrota and it's been amazing. [14 August 1385; Portugal vs Castile]
And where are you doing that? Is there a place where you're doing that?
No, no, Vasco. As I've told you, it's in my dressing room.
You're reproducing Aljubarrota in your dressing room?
- Right. - But how are you doing it? With figurines?
No, no, Vasco. With baby labrador retrievers.
Some make up the Portuguese army, others the Castilian army
and they destroy each other...
... with cuteness!
I'll take this chance to ask someone from production
to take advantage of the fact that they are sleeping
to go there with a mop to clean the pee.
Because I had to come over here and didn't have time.
[Vasco] Puppies are a pain in the ass when it comes to pee.
No, the pee didn't come from them. It's mine.
The bathroom door got stuck.
[Markl] And I had to just do it in the corner.
I'll start to introduce, from our "Fantastic Five,"
a woman who enjoys simplicity, but won't deny herself
a more elaborate makeup, with colorful shadows
and lit skin. On her hair, she goes with "beach waves"
after having previously gambled with fringe.
These are the things you read on the internet
about Inês Aires Pereira!
Up next, the man who has a lot of brothers.
A lot of brothers.
In total, he has 16 siblings.
And we've been told that, next week,
all the brothers,
cousins, uncles and nephews of this man
will come to watch Taskmaster.
Due to that, next week's Taskmaster will be recorded in the Altice Arena. [20,000 capacity]
An applause for Gilmário Vemba!
Really?
Up next, a woman that won't stop surprising us.
Here on Taskmaster, she has shown her talents at, for example, lip harmonica.
She has also shown her skill at drawing on top of a horse.
But she's also an artist at home.
Recently, she cut the hair of her son, Oliver.
It went so well that, tomorrow, she has customers for a mise at 3pm,
a balayage at 5pm, and soft gel at 7:30pm.
It's Jessica Athayde, Ladies and Gentlemen!
- Is Oliver doing fine? - He's great.
After Jessica, a singer with a lot of years in his career.
Going back a bit, the first payment he got
was from the Portuguese Society of Writers.
200$ (escudo) and some change. At the time, it was a fortune.
Nowadays, that would allows us to have half a tank of gas,
a sandwich and a pear juice from a petrol station in Antuã.
Ladies and Gentlemen, it's Toy!
And widen your eyes for our guest this evening.
Born in Évora, we know him as an actor, a theatre director, and a musician.
He used to study Law, but he quit, because, in his words:
he would never be happy being stuck in an office.
And as the old "Alentejano" saying goes: [Alentejo = southern Portugal]
"For you to be happy, being a lawyer is a chore,
instead, in the Taskmaster's house, you must do what has never been done before!"
Applause for Rui Melo!
We have Rui as our guest and,
as always, Toy, Jessica, Gilmário and Inês,
who gave us all they had over this last week.
And, as usual, speaking about this last week,
the show starts with a detailed analysis, done by me
about a series of objects which made our contestants, during the week,
think: "what will I bring to Taskmaster?"
Nuno, what would they have to bring?
Today, they were asked to bring the best thing they had invented themselves.
[Vasco] Inês Aires Pereira.
I haven't invented anything, because nowadays no one invents anything,
everything already exists.
- So what did you bring us? - So, I recall the last time
that I did plasticine with my daughter,
and I realized that I'm good at it.
- So I brought you one of my pieces. - Really?
- And what did you create? - I created my husband.
[Vasco] For starters, we must say that your husband has an amazing chest.
And in the lower half, there's nothing worth noticing, right?
Nope. What I can say, is that one of the legs is a bit crooked.
But they're both the same.
- I mean, I believe they are. - [Markl] Was it on a trip?
[Vasco] It happens.
[Inês] Looks cute.
Gilmário, what did you bring us?
You know when you misunderstand a message?
Yes.
[Jessica] I totally understand.
I brought a compliation of something that I did and helped to create
that was the creation of one of the biggest comedy groups in Angola.
The work Humor não é só fazer rir from Os Tuneza. ["Humor is not just about laughter"]
Well done.
- Is that you over there? - Yes.
Imagine that we all fit closely together. Now don't imagine how it was done.
[Markl] I imagine they're so close, right?
[Vasco] Jessica, what have you brought?
I brought the best thing that I've ever done in my life.
- [Inês] It won't be her son. - [Jessica] That obviously...
...that obviously it's my son, because I actually made my son.
- You brought Oliver? - I brought a portrayal
of my son, a beautiful drawing.
- Really nice. Who made it? Was it you? - ...Yeah.
[Vasco] Applause for Jessica Athayde and her Oliver.
- Toy, what did you bring us? - I remembered love.
Love represents my wife who, obviously, is the love of my life.
And she supports your football club, Sporting.
And for once, I dared to do something in cold porcelain.
It looks like plasticine, but it's different.
- You did it in what? - Cold porcelain.
- Nice. - And I did it like this.
It's a lion from Sporting, in cold porcelain.
- You did this? - I did.
- [Jessica] Well done! - [Vasco] Amazing.
I've... How do I explain this?
I didn't bring a physical object. I brought an artistic object.
I was one of the creators of a show that RTP broadcast
named Pôr do Sol ["Sunset"], that had... [Jessica's partner was the lead]
- Where, Toy... - Had amazing music! [Toy wrote and performed much of it]
Yes, it did.
In the show, there was a band called Jesus Quisto. ["Jesus Cyst", but sounds like "Jesus Christ"]
The lyrics were mine, and Henrique and I composed it. [Henrique Cardoso Dias; co-creator]
So I've decided to bring my guitar,
and I'll ask the production team to bring it to me.
And I'll sing the song here.
And since I know you need a physical object,
I would ask production to take a picture of me
while I sing this beautiful melody
and for them to make a CD to be in the final showcase.
- Which song will you do? - "Beavers in Loves."
[Vasco] You wouldn't sing "Beavers!"
[CONTEXT:] Pôr do Sol is a parody of soap operas. It unexpectedly became a massive hit. Despite being a fictional band, Jesus Quisto put out a few EPs and even toured.
[CONTEXT:] Part of the joke about Jesus Quisto is their songs are in English because it sounds cool, but their English is bad and the lyrics nonsensical.
♪ Morning tonights ♫
♪ And screaming be mines ♫
♪ Forevers ♫
♪ And evers ♫
♪ Your denting is blind ♫
♪ My finger is kind ♫
♪ Forevers ♫
♪ And evers ♫
♪ 'Cause beavers in loves ♫
♪ Beavers in loves ♫
♪ It's beavers ♫
♪ From above ♫
- [Inês] He's so creative, he's so talented. - [Vasco] He is, isn't he?
[Inês] Take the 5 already.
Here I was sculpting my other's thingy for nothing.
- Half an hour there. - [Rui] Don't give up yet.
- And I had a child inside of me for 9 months! - [Rui] Little one, don't give up yet.
[Vasco] Let's go to the scores. I'll award 5 points to Rui Melo.
I'll award 4 points to Toy, 3 to Inês.
2 points for Oliver and 1 point to the book from Os Tuneza.
- And this is how we start this Taskmaster! - [Jessica] 2 to my SON!
Let's watch these five souls, over at my house, doing tasks.
[Vasco] Dear Nuno, tell us everything.
Well, Vasco, you'll agree
that there are tasks that we can say are classics.
- Classic Taskmaster tasks. - Give me an example.
- [Markl] Throwing stuff. - [Vasco] Yes.
Off the top of my head, I recall: tea bags, rubber ducks
balls, paper planes, basketballs, and coconuts.
Did you say "coconuts," Vasco?
Don't tell me they just threw coconuts again?
You got the fruit right, but the wrong verb.
Is this the season of the coconut?
Coconut? Again?
The last one had rubber ducks, this one has coconuts?
What is the world without them?
Do I really have to?
Stay strong.
This is a new style.
You sneaking a peek at the task. Being afraid.
I feel you're traumatized by some of the tasks.
Yes, Taskmaster does that to us.
"Make the best coconut-flinging machine."
What is flinging a coconut?
I have no idea.
"You have 20 minutes and one attempt."
"Furthest coconut fling wins."
"Your time starts now."
I shouldn't have read that part.
Already?
[Vasco] I must confess...
I love the trauma that our contestants get
after being on Taskmaster.
As Inês said, in Season One, it was the rubber duck trauma.
and now we have the famous Coconutaphobia.
Coconutaphobia, yes. This is the right task for them.
And, careful, this is really important: they weren't allowed just to throw it.
So, your arm wasn't allowed.
- [Vasco] Okay. - [Markl] Let's start, then,
by watching Jessica Athayde and our guest, Rui Melo,
a duo that I've baptized as "Jessui Athayelo."
Fling...
I like the practical and quick approach you're taking.
I'm trying.
I have 20 minutes, right? And various attempts.
But without the coconut. Try attempts must be without the coconut.
When the time comes for the coconut to be flung, you'll say "I'll fling the coconut."
Okay, so the last try is with the coconut.
I'm having a test.
It's lighter.
There's nothing saying that I can't use my hands.
Right?
It's too early.
I lack creativity.
This won't go well, it's too heavy.
This is a new sport you're coming up with, right?
Bow and arronut.
I get it.
Arrow colada.
It's starting to bend.
Won't work like this.
Should I risk it? Do it with the coconut?
- Let's go? - Let's go.
We'll take a vote? Yes! Yes!
If I lose, it's all your fault.
What if I help it? Like this.
I don't know. I don't know. I have no idea what to wait for.
Nooooooo!
[Markl] That was far worse than what I was expecting.
Anyway, the distance will be marked.
You never know.
This had everything to be successful.
I won't mess with it.
You have to accept it.
[Markl] That's the spirit.
Can I just highlight Jessica's sad facial expressions?
They're some of the best to ever happen in Portuguese television.
I try hard, understand?
Do we have the numbers for the distance of Jessica and Rui Melo?
Rui got 2.6 meters.
- [Vasco] Okay, not bad. - Size doesn't matter.
It took him 14 minutes and 16 seconds.
In this case, the distance was a bit...
- Got it in time, right? - He did.
In Jessica's case, we're in doubt.
- [Markl] Truth be told... - [Vasco] Yes?
Jessica's was flung 5.90 meters.
The problem is: 5.90 meters backwards.
I understand, but the distance still counts.
Jessica took 9 minutes and 47 seconds.
[Gilmário] Hey, your coconut went far.
Who's the next inventor of flinging mechanisms for tropical fruit? ["inventor(a)"; Vasco used male version]
Well, it's not a man, but a woman, Inês Aires Pereira.
And how did Inês react to this task, I wonder?
She reacted with "BOOM!" and "PUFT!" and "AAH!"
Fling a coconut.
- So it's "BOOM!", right? - "PUFT!"
This was to go, "AAH!"
Now I'm Bob The Builder.
When will you have tasks like "shake your ass?"
I'll stand on top of a tree with a wire, and I'll release it.
And the wire, "BOOM!", releases it.
This was a "yes."
Oh, this is it.
I'll put the coconut over here and I'll do it like
BOOM!
Where will I put the coconut?
Oh, damn! It would be epic if I jumped into the pool.
I'll go like this.
I'll be afraid of jumping. I forgot.
I didn't think about that.
I don't think I can do it. What now?
Look.
Wouldn't I get hit on my head by the coconut?
Fuck it, right?
[Inês yells]
Where is it?
- [Inês] It fell. - [Markl] It fell?
The coconut fell.
- [Markl] Really? - [Inês] Where is it?
[Markl] When did you realize this was a bad idea? Midway through the jump?
I was midway through the jump, with my little foot, and I missed it.
Midway through the jump I'm like,
"Fuck, I've missed it."
Vasco.
- Tell me. - You've perhaps...
- Tell me. - You, and people here, and at home
You perhaps would like to watch this amazing jump by Inês.
But in slow motion?
[Various audience members] Yes!
[Vasco] Here goes Inês.
[Markl] It was something half-amazing, half-sad.
It touched.
My thought after this is that it wasn't you who flung the coconut.
It was the coconut that flung you.
[Markl] It was. Weirdly enough, it seems to have happened that way.
- Other way around. - The coconut tried to save Inês.
He saw her behind. "Nooooo!!"
- [Vasco] Exactly. - Now we have two situations here.
- Tell me. - Horizontally.
- The coconut went 90 centimenters. - Yes.
- Vertically, it went 2.5 meters. - Yes.
- Okay. - 2.5 meters and a half.
No, what I want is the distance fowards from Point A.
Not downwards.
As it happens, I didn't do the task counting on that.
[Vasco] Right, that's what I'll have to score.
In this case, Inês was?
- Was 90cm. - Thank you, Inês Aires Pereira.
90 centimeters for Inês Aires Pereira.
We're missing Gilmário and...
Missing Toy! Missing Toy! Missing Toy, Toy, Toy!
So, what can you say, Nuno, about these two attempts?
Look, I can say that both dug a lot.
One dug in his own mind, looking for the right method.
It seems that he couldn't reach it.
The other also dug, and I wanted to dig right out of there.
Where can the coconut go? Without breaking anything?
Sky's the limit.
How can I do this?
Think! Think!
[Markl] A sledgehammer?
Think!
There's so many things. The only thing missing is what I need.
I'll do a bed for Mr. Coconut.
Oh, boy.
God dammit.
[Markl] Aren't you afraid of finding a corpse?
Is that a possibility?
I'm out of ideas.
How can I do this?
Pretty flexible, right?
Yes.
I don't believe I can dig that in time.
This won't do.
I'm afraid of:
One, being hit by the coconut.
Two, being hit by the stick.
Getting hit by the stick is great!
[Markl in task] Went far, right?
Not as far I wanted.
I'll have to make some other shit up.
- Went high. - Went high, but not far.
We're entering the "In God's Hands" phase.
One minute, as of now.
45 seconds.
I'll need a countdown when we hit 10 seconds.
It might end in disaster.
I think it will be better if you all leave my side.
5, 4, 3, 2...
- It went really high. - Really high.
- So measure the distance to the sky. - No, this was the distance.
I'll measure my steps so you won't cheat.
16, 17, 18, 19.
19 steps.
It's about 25 meters.
Far away isn't just...
- [Gilmário] On land, far away is also... - [Markl] Obvious.
Damn you, stinging leaves!
Dig a hole, build stuff.
- Could have been worse. - Could have fallen on my head.
Perhaps then I would gain some sense.
I'll start with Gilmário. You had a first try
that seemed pretty good! But you said, and I'll quote.
"Not as far as I wanted." What did you want, Gilmário?
I wanted far. Like FAR.
Something far away enough that Nuno had to take a taxi
to get the coconut.
Didn't look bad. Public reacted like, "well done."
Even though it's a reaction that's because of
the disgrace my colleagues have shown.
- [Markl] Despite that. - [Vasco] Okay.
With Toy, something rare happened on Taskmaster.
Toy was having trouble starting.
That's unusual for you, Toy. What happened in this task?
- I thought that the best way was... - [Markl] Catapult!
Imagine that a table was a watermelon and...
I see! I want to know numbers.
- [Jessica] Wanna see? - We'll start with Gilmário.
Gilmário took 19 minutes and 59 seconds.
- [Vasco] Down to the wire, last second? - [Markl] Yes, yes.
The coconut flew 11.2 meters.
Well done.
11...
A cocopunt!
[Markl] As for Toy.
[Markl] As for Toy, Toy, Toy.
Toy counted 19 steps and said "it's about 25 meters."
[Markl] Toy took 10 minutes and 23 seconds
- To build his coconut flinging mechanism. - Was rather quick.
And the coconut flew...
...15.9 meters.
[Vasco] Well done!
I was the only one not to use a catapult.
Tell me, from the shortest to the longest.
So, with 1 point in this task, we have Inês.
Rui Melo got 2 points, Jessica got 3 points.
Gilmário got 4 points, and Toy, with 15.9 meters, got 5 points.
[Vasco] 5 points then.
So, let's add these points
to the points I awarded in the first task.
Toy jumps to the lead with 9 points, followed by Rui Melo with 7.
Tied with 5 are Jessica and Gilmário.
And Inês has 4 points.
[Vasco] Very well.
So, I want you to say what we have next
on today’s Taskmasterian menu.
Well, in the next task,
we dive into one of the most striking
verses from Portuguese popular music.
Amália? [Amália Rodrigues]
- No. - Carlos do Carmo?
- No. - Zeca? [Zeca Afonso]
Mónica Sintra.
Specifically, the second verse of the timeless classic
"Na Minha Cama Com Ela." ["On My Bed With Her"]
But something odd was taking place,
it had arrived before my face.
And on the ground, clothes were spread,
with satin pieces here and there.
- We’re talking satin pieces? - No, the sentence before that.
- [Vasco] Come on. – "And on the ground, clothes were spread."
- Hello! - My bow.
Those doves never fly.
A little dove.
That's not water in the beak. That's glue in the beak.
It is, it is.
Calm, hold up, please.
Thanks.
"Spread your clothes as far and wide as possible at your own expense."
"You must use four items of clothing that you are currently wearing."
"The one who spreads them the most wins."
Do shoes count?
- Anything on your body. - Okay.
'You have 30 minutes. Your time starts now."
I'm not going to be naked.
- Wait a minute! - Already whistled.
So, we approach a theme which many times often causes discussions at home.
- Scattered clothes. - Exactly!
We wanted clothes spread the furthest possible.
And, very important, it needed to be clothing they were already wearing.
And we start with the task of whom, Nuno?
The task of a woman who, while she was undressing,
I noted that we had things in common.
And I’m not talking about our boobs.
Jessica Athayde.
So...
One.
[Markl] Okay.
Okay.
One, two, three...
[Markl] And now?
- Four. - Four pieces.
- You’re happy with your...? - No.
[Markl] Okay.
Here she goes barefoot.
I’ll get back my clothes after this?
I'm being forced to use my legs.
Look, I have a little bit of vertigo.
- Don't follow closely, because I have vertigo. - Okay. I do, too.
[Markl] This is becoming one of the worst days of my life.
- And now what? - Feeling good?
- Yes. - Okay.
- Gotta have courage now. - And now, to get down?
Markl said, and I quote, "This is becoming one of the worst days of my life."
Because of the vertigo!
I should say that I get vertigo when on the balcony of my mother's house.
- Do you know which floor? - Third?
Second.
- Jessica, are you happy with your task? - No.
Forget distance, let's just find out, more or less geographically in my house,
where were each of Jessica's clothing pieces.
A shirt in the garden, a shoe in the sheep area,
a shoe by the pool's stairs,
a top hung on the shower, which then went to the tower.
- [Vasco] To the tower. - [Markl] Insane!
Soon we'll see the distances.
Applause for Jessica Athayde and for her effort.
[Jessica] Clap your hands!
Vasco, you know this is a show with people,
made by people and for people.
[Vasco] Yes.
And the thing that joins these next two people
is that these two people needed exactly that.
Maybe I'll go to the back?
To the chickens, or over to the goats?
We're in your hands.
Your wishes are orders.
We're here to help.
I have no more sentences.
We have the four pieces.
Oh, it's you and me!
- You're placing a sock in an envelope? - Mmhmm.
Okay. Someone will get a sock of yours?
Yes. You know who?
No.
Alex Horne.
- Taskmaster. - The creator of this show? - Yes.
Leave one here, the other on the roundabout
and I'll go until I reach home, and then I'll stay there.
You choose what to do. Time is passing.
Can someone go to the post office?
Thanks.
Good trip.
This can go... can go...
... by train!
Go to a train station, and when you get there, call me.
You'll help me there.
You go up there.
I have vertigo.
Okay, I'll go up there.
- Okay. - And you go there,
to the cows, the goats.
So I go alone to the cows?
- Yes. - With a shoe?
And now I need two people.
Thanks.
Who wants the sockie?
I'll just get my phone to coordinate.
Alright?
Couriers, someone call a courier.
Give them the shirt, say to drive half an hour.
After half an hour, stop and then we'll see by phone where he is.
- Okay? - And the belt stays here.
But no one saves the show's creator from getting a sock.
- Yes. - From getting a sock, no.
Now I'll call Markl just to see if everything's okay.
You reached the mailbox of...
MARKL!
Oh, if he came back...
Turn on the phone!
It may be on airplane mode, because he's very well behaved when filming.
Are you not coming after me?
- Hello! - Hello, Rui! Already at the station.
Okay, so I need to know what train goes furthest and fastest.
- Setúbal. - Setúbal.
So, get to the train's door,
throw the sock under a seat where it can't be seen, then get out of there.
- Okay. - Go, I'm praying for you. Hugs.
Hello!
Film my homestead, please.
Look at all this. MARKL!
- Hi there. - Where are you?
I'm close to the sheep.
[Markl] With a shoe on my lap.
I have a feeling that this is like that time I asked you
to keep melting the ice and you didn't do it. [Season 1, Episode 4]
Can you send a photo of proof, sir?
[Markl] I can. I can.
Okay, a sock below a train seat for...
For no one to see.
Oh, I can't stand it!
It will always sound strange, right? "Let just leave a sock here."
But he needs to be discreet. He will be discreet.
I don't know much about this task, but it could potentially be spectacular.
- Could also be a disaster. - Could also be a disaster, too.
But at this moment, impeccable.
[Inês] Rafa!
Go! No fear!
Go, son! Don't stop! Don't stop! Go south!
[Markl] Still in the sheep zone, did you get the photo?
Shit, I'm out of credits.
- Hello, Rui. - So, the letter was sent?
[Man] Sent.
Already sent. Thanks, hugs, hugs. See you soon.
- See ya. - You're good?
- Good? - Yes.
Do we have a courier, or not?
[Man] Be there soon.
You need to go towards the A6 (highway).
Thanks.
MARKL!
It's full of poop!
- Beware! - I think I stepped on a little ball.
Full of little balls.
Rui, two minutes left.
- It's good... - Is this really our life?
That the "Teqmeter..." "Teqmeter!" [This is explained later]
That he values this.
- Do you feel that you have-- - What am I doing with my life?
- And we reach the end. - Done!
I'm happy.
- How do you feel about that? - It was incredible.
And what about my other things?
It's an award-winning program.
- Abroad and everything. - Something to think about, isn't it?
It is.
I need to say to those at home, you don't understand Inês AP's joy
when she found out she was in the same video as Rui.
"Yeah, we're in the same one! Yeah, we're such good friends!"
- Sending hearts to each other. - Because they even had the same idea.
Let's use our team's people to spread out.
They know how to make a good TV show.
- Exactly! - He did the furthest, has more experience.
[Rui] Indeed.
One of the things you say most on Taskmaster is the word "poop" ["cocó"].
Because there has been a lot of it in your tasks.
Not only in metaphorical terms, but sometimes literally.
There is always a lot of poop in my life.
If you want me to be honest, it's a recurring theme.
Rui, for all eternity, I'll have two things on my mind.
That woman's feeling when she sees someone
place a sock on her seat.
- [Rui] Under her seat. - "Maybe they are terrorists!"
- "What's this?" - I just wanna know
if the sock sent by mail reached its destination.
- [Markl] Calm down! - [Rui] I still don't know!
Did Alex Horne receive the sock?
- That would be incredible. - Before that, we have maps to see?
- We do, yes sir. - Who's the first?
- Let's see Inês' map. - Okay.
Inês, as you can see,
sent me to the sheep zone with a shoe
and went to the house's tower with the other.
After that, she sent two crew members. One north, the other south.
Strangely, they went in the same direction
and finished close to one another.
[Inês] Damn!
North and south is all relative, isn't it?
- [Markl] Of course. - [Vasco] Going forward?
It's a state of mind.
So now let's see Rui's map.
Let's go.
Rui left a clothing piece in the garden,
and asked a crew member to leave a sock on a train.
A train that went until Coina.
The second crew member took the other sock to the post office.
The final destination was London, but Rui, still not happy, calls a courier
and asks him to go out on the highway,
traveling a good amount of kilometers on the A6.
But now the big question.
You sent an envelope -- the word is "sobrescrito." [Markl used the English word earlier]
You sent an envelope with one of your socks...
- ... to Alex Horne. - Yes.
Alex Horne basically is the English Markl,
the creator of the format, creator of Taskmaster,
who possibly received the sock.
Let's find out.
[Jessica] I like the guy in the back, just watching.
Applause for Alex Horne!
Worth it!
- [Rui] Worth it! - I love him!
- [Markl] Alex Horne is the best! - [Gilmário] Amazing.
In distance terms, it won't count, but in our hearts...
- Amazing! - ...you have bragging rights.
- Amazing! - He received your sock.
- [Gilmário] Thanks, Rui! - [Vasco] He received your sock!
Also, I think this is the first time where there's been a crossover
between Taskmasters from different countries, so thanks, Rui.
It was a great idea. Next clothes spreader.
- Who'll it be? - Someone who used an old Confucius idea.
Confucius? I didn't know you're a fan of Confucius.
Me? I love Confucius. After all, I have all his albums.
It was an old idea of Confucius which was thought of by the next clothes spreader.
"Don't fear fixing your mistakes." And why is that?
Because, in their words,
the last time the maximum was needed,
he felt that he didn't go far enough.
So now he decided to fix it.
To not fall short.
He needed to go beyond.
To the farm's door!
And beyond! (Beyond, beyond...)
[Vasco] Is that an echo?
This looks too easy.
What am I'm not noticing, Markl?
Four pieces.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
The last time I saw the maximum, I didn't do the maximum
But now, I say to all,
I will do the maximum.
Should have taken the shoes off later.
- Your feet are hurting? - They are hurting.
We will try
to go as far as possible.
You're suggesting that we'll leave the property?
We will. Who knows? Maybe we can get to Sezimbra.
- Okay. While barefoot? - Always barefoot.
- Yeah, we have half an hour, right? - Yes, we have 30 minutes.
At the moment, 28 minutes.
I could run, but I don't want to leave you here.
- Do you have any idea where you will leave it? - Dunno. I wanna do the most possible.
- I think my feet will hurt later. - Don't want to leave it here?
No, no, I don't want to.
Hello!
This time, everything counts for victory.
Anything for that golden bust
of Vasco Palmeirim's face.
There are some young ones that live here.
How it is guys? Cool?
I'm here with a Taskmaster task
and I need to hide this shoe somewhere.
- Do you live here or... - Just wandering here.
Only wandering...
- Where do you live? - Arrentela.
- Arrentela. Is it far from here? - Not really.
- Can you take this sock to Arrentela? - Sure.
Thanks.
Diogo, Leonardo, thanks for this.
- How much time do I have? - 19 minutes.
No rush.
Please, tell me you're going far.
- I'm going to Paio Pires. - Paio Pires?
Paio Pires is good. Hello, good afternoon.
Can I hide this sock here so it gets to Paio Pires?
- No problem. - It doesn't smell. It's new.
- No problem. - Can I?
- Okay. - Look.
So there is the right sock.
One sock goes to Arrentela, the other to Paio Pires.
- Where are you going? - To my home.
But is where you're going far from here, or nearby?
Oh, I want someone who's going far.
Where are we?
A truck is coming.
Don't turn!
Sorry, can I know where you're going?
- To Seixal. - To Seixal?
Can I send a shoe there with you?
- ...To stop it from falling. - Can I?
Okay, thanks, thanks.
[Markl] There he goes, there he goes.
- Later, I will find that truck in Seixal. - Hello, good afternoon.
Did you write down every city?
Where was the truck going?
Yes, now I want an Uber to leave here.
The truck is going to Seixal.
- Can we take a photo? - Of course!
- And you have some shoes, I see? - I have some sandals.
- Do you need them? - I do.
- [Girl 1] Take them. - [Girl 2] Take the photo.
[Gilmário] I'll do a selfie.
- Is it possible? - It is.
- There it is. - Thanks.
- It's top.
It was a good afternoon.
- It was, yes sir. - Man, it was.
- We walked a lot. - Barefoot Gilmário, I see?
- Yes, yes, yes. - Looked like Gandhi. There he went.
Walking with his shoes in hand.
The people were, man,
lovely with us and
- took everything. - Lovely?
Now I just want to ask, please, I lost a sneaker...
If someone found it...
A snea-- a black sneaker just left alone in Seixal,
please give it back.
Let's look at the map to know where Gilmário Vemba's clothes went.
Gilmário left a sneaker in the garden, went barefoot out there,
found two youngsters, asks them the strange favor of taking a sock to Arrentela,
which the two promptly accepted.
After this, he continues walking until finding someone in a car,
gives them the second sock, his quote, "new and smelless sock."
The guy takes the sock to Paio Pires,
which is farther than Arrentela.
Meanwhile, Gilmario continues walking,
stops and puts the other sneaker on a truck,
which gets lost forever.
And needed to say about his sneaker
that the sneakers cost more than 100 euros.
Therefore, give them back...
[Gilmário] Please.
"Sneaker" or "shoe"? I don't want to hurt any feelings.
[Vasco] So, here we have the distance.
[Vasco] Still not measured.
And now we're just missing Toy's task. Missing Toy.
And how did he behave, Nuno?
Vasco, just think of the following:
If, for many of the tasks that did not require undressing,
Toy always got undressed...
How do you think Toy behaved in a task
that required him to remove and spread out his clothes?
- This stays here. - Okay.
So, goodbye.
I like that visual, Toy.
A bare torso with a briefcase.
This is the time for me to ask: Do you have a plan?
I think first you just start doing the things
and then you think about the rest.
Is there a law in which says that driving bare-chested is illegal?
I don't think so.
No, I thought I'd heard that somewhere.
No, but I'm not bare-chested. I have a strap.
You have a strap, you do.
The strap shrunk down, because...
The strap is the microphone, obviously.
It's that, it's that. It's like a top.
Good morning!
Didn't hear.
Didn't hear. Didn't hear.
[Toy] She doesn't know what she lost.
The chance of getting Toy's sock.
Toy's sock.
♪ Toy's sock! ♫
- [Markl] Place it here on this esplanade? - [Toy] No.
Okay.
Well.
This is a sock.
Do you want the souvenir of Toy's sock?
- [Markl] He hasn't used them for long. - [Toy] For you, love.
- [Markl] His feet are clean. - [Toy] What's your name?
- Helena. - Oh, Toy, I can't believe you.
My soul is big and yours will be small. [rhyming in Portuguese]
It's not because you have your Helena here at all. [rhyming in Portuguese]
And that's why we don't get upset if one day Toy gives you a sock as a gift! [rhyming in Portuguese]
There it is.
Your socks aren't for the people?
- I think they are. - Okay.
Have you considered the possibility of throwing to a balcony, or asking someone...
- No, I'll leave the other here. - Oh, traffic light. Okay, okay.
I'm just thinking of when you need to leave your pants.
- How much time? - Time is running. 9 minutes.
- I'll take them off. - Starting removal?
- Just taking the tissue from the pants. - 5 minutes to drop the pants.
BURNS!
- There's an open door. - 2 minutes.
- [Markl] That is a decent place to drop the pants. - [Toy] Yes, it's time, it's time.
Toy needs to leave his pants here.
Look, please.
To change the oil, put the brakes in front
and put the bumpers on the back.
- See you. -Thanks.
- It's done. - Task finished.
- You don't fear driving in underwear? - No, no.
The part I find the funniest is the normality.
Toy in underwear... "Hi Toy, how are you doing, alright?"
- Yes, yes, already a thing... - Just another Wednesday.
- ...Which was already acceptable, of course. - [Vasco] Oh, Toy...
- Of course, of course. - Toy, you said that first you start doing,
and after that, you think. There's old good Toy again.
That's what is!
We need to say something important,
which is spread clothes.
- Want to get a sense of Toy? - I want to watch Toy's senses.
[Jessica] You left everything next to each other.
Toy started by leaving the t-shirt in the garden,
after that, he gets the car, leaves a sock with a woman at a coffee shop
goes a little further and places the third clothing piece
- [Inês] In the same direction. - Hanging on a traffic light,
before suprising everyone and coming all the way back
and finishes by leaving his pants in a workshop.
- But it was good show. - [Inês] It was, it was.
- [Inês] Thanks for "stripping." - [Vasco] Attention.
We all saw Toy nearly as naked as the day he was born,
- and that's an added bonus to our eyes. - [Inês] Good point!
- [Markl] Any show, any place in the world. - [Inês] Good point!
- [Markl] Any place in the world. - [Vasco] Well.
Let's do the math that is the area,
that joins all points, in square meter area terms,
biggest area wins.
Meaning, the one with the furthest clothing pieces.
Can I just leave?
Nuno, which map will we see first?
Well, the biggest map was from Rui Melo.
This is the area in which Rui Melo's clothing was spread.
Now here's Gilmário's.
[Gilmário] Ouch.
Inês' area.
Now Toy's area.
[Vasco] ♪ Toy's area. ♫
[Markl] And Jessica's area.
- [Vasco] Sorry. - [Gilmário] That was just mean.
It was mean.
[Gilmário] Sorry.
[Jessica] Mean.
[Markl] It was mean.
Want to know the areas in numbers? Should we? Here it is.
Let's go.
Rui Melo spread his clothes over a 1.49 km² area.
[Vasco] Okay.
Gilmário, over a 1.28 km² area.
Inês, 0.67 km².
Toy spread his clothes over a 0.42 km² area.
And Jessica...
- [Jessica] Do we need to say it? - [Vasco] No need.
- No need to say it, no need. - [Markl] In square meters, it's 791.
So let's convert those areas to points.
So between 1 and 5.
Jessica has 1 point.
Toy, 2 points.
Inês, 3 points.
Gilmário, 4 points.
And Rui Melo, 5 points.
Very good!
Let's add these points to the total score.
- There's no need. - Let's go.
Markl, tell us all.
Rui Melo takes the lead with 12 points, next is Toy with 11.
9 points for Gilmário there, in the chart's middle.
Next Inês with 7 points, and Jessica with 6.
[Vasco] Anything can happen.
- What's up next? - Next up, we'll have
Surprise!
[unknown indigenous Angolan language]
"Surprise Markl when he emerges from the caravan in one hour."
"Your time starts now."
How can I surprise Markl?
I'm really curious to see this one, and I'll tell you why.
Because surprises made by those who love us are always striking and special.
Almost like a birthday party without it being our birthday.
[Markl] We'll see.
What is this?
Thanks.
Thanks!
[Markl] Thanks.
I really want to thank--
Markl!
So, it's a special day--
[Markl] Thanks.
I would like to thank--
Markl! Markl! Markl!
Markl! Markl!
Markl!
Thanks! Thanks!
Ladies and Gentlemen, Nuno Markl!
Thanks!
I thank you all.
Nuno Markl, everyone!
Markl!
I would like to--
[Gilmário] Unbelieveable!
Super!
- Can I...? - Nuno Markl!
Thanks! Thanks!
Nuno!
- Thanks. - Nuno!
- It's enough. - Nunão!
Nunadas!
Nuno!
- It's enough. - Yeah!
Nuno!
It's getting uncanny now.
- Really uncanny. - Nuno!
It's okay.
Thanks! Thanks! Thanks!
[Gilmário] Markl!
- [Markl] Thanks! - [Jessica] So great.
- Thank you all. - I think it's flipped now.
That featured my son.
My son was in the front row.
His cousin, Henrique, was also there, as was his schoolmate Manny.
You thought this man deserved a round of applause?
He deserved it. Nuno is that person.
Thanks!
Nuno!
Thanks!
Nuno, everyone!
Thanks!
Nuno!
[Guy in Audience] Nuno!
[Gilmário] Nuno!
That has to be how you greet him.
Everytime you see Nuno on the street, anywhere, shout "NUNO!"
[Vasco] I have a dream. You know what it is?
I have a dream that one day, our president, Marcelo Rebelo de Sousa
will call you to the palace just to say to you: "Nuno!"
Nunadas!
I can see that happening. Strangely, it would be normal.
Right?
I can lose this task, but if people do that to Nuno
for even just a week, I'll be happy with myself.
- Nunadas! - Thanks!
I'm so sorry.
- On to the next one? - On to the next one.
Who do we have next?
That's a great question, Vasco.
Who do we have next?
Let's all try to figure it out,
because I was really confused at the time.
Who is it? Let's find out.
Heeey!
[Inês] Who is it?
[Inês] Is it Rui?
Should I go? Over there?
Oh, hey.
Yes, I'm here.
No, no, not this stuff.
It gets stuck to my groin.
Really.
That's not my problem.
- I'm stuck. - You can't get out?
You need help?
I couldn't get out of the box.
The spell turned against his caster.
Thanks, Jessica.
This could had been incredible. Luckily, it was only tragic.
Can I?
- [Jessica] In my defense. - Yes?
When this task was recorded
I had my period.
First time someone's tried that.
Who's next, dear Nuno?
Next is Toy, who in this show, has been everything.
He has been a ninja, a superhero, and has crushed watermelons.
Portugal and the world surrendered to the Toy's magic.
But! António Ferrão still had a bit of magic left for me.
- [Vasco] What's that? - Magic happening.
- Markl! - What's up?
- Hello! - Hey there!
Welcome to the show of Toy, the magician.
As a magician, shouldn't you be Yot? They put the letters backwards.
- Yot would be great. - The Magnificent Yot.
You know that sometimes, magic is much more than we think about.
You see this movement? Put one over there, please.
- From here? - Yes, you can put one from there.
- Okay. - And so we won't take long
We can put one from here to here and another from there to there.
And now this one over here because it's getting full.
And this one there to shuffle.
And now... Easy now.
Is it shuffled? No. Let's just see a card.
You'll see this card and show to everyone at home.
Have you seen it?
- I did. - Shuffle it, please.
- Shuffle in the middle? - Everything shuffled, please.
Okay. Done.
So, do you remember the card?
At home, they must certainly recall.
That naughty card should naturally be...
I don't know where she might be, but I'll find her.
And she will show up.
Tell me you missed.
It was this card, certainly.
Not that one, no.
It also wasn't this one?
It wasn't.
And it also wasn't this one.
I know. You know why?
- Why? - Abracadabra!
How?
Wow!
Don't eat, drink!
Because nothing will hurt us in a nice magic show.
If we know how fantasy magic flows!
- Unstoppable Toy. - Nice one, Toy!
How did you do it?
Magic.
Where did you learn that trick? Who taught you?
I learned that trick. I did revue theatre when I was 11 to 15 years old
at Sociedade Musical Capricho Setubalense, in Setúbal. [Capricho Setubalense Musical Society]
I spoke with a lot of people, and was always poking around.
Who do we have left, I ask.
Now we'll have Rui Melo, who I believe,
while he looked around the house,
must have found your Taskmaster task envelopes.
That was what happened.
Don't you tell me that Rui Melo stole one of my envelopes.
He did. He wrote a task, and went to see me at the caravan,
and I shouldn't have opened that door.
I shouldn't have.
Because it was for me. It was for me.
Ah!
- Hello there! - Hello there!
A task?
"Follow every step made by Rui Melo."
- "Your time starts now." - Let's go?
Okay.
- Don't be afraid. - Okay.
You have a folding screen over there.
I ask for you to go there and enjoy it.
Very important.
Boxers?
- Yes? - Under the pants.
I should put these boxers over mine?
You could.
I'll let you choose if you want to keep the socks.
You need to use the sandals.
- I'm ashamed of my feet. - As you wish.
Also, at my age, I can wear socks with sandals.
[Rui] It's part of it.
Right hand?
No, no.
- Right hand in the air. - Only in the air?
Okay.
- Left hand? - What is this?
Yes.
You're taking your pants off.
Oh, goddamnit.
You'll notice that.
We're matching. Now follow me.
Goddamnit.
This was supposed to surprise me. I'm already surprised.
Back up a bit.
Okay.
Glasses.
Good luck, Nuno!
I can't do that.
Oh, Markl!
You didn't even attempt it!
It's cold! Really cold!
- Went well? - Thanks, Rui.
- Was it good? - Really good.
That was great. And the dive?
Amazing, right?
I don't even know what to say.
I was shocked, because I didn't know that Rui Melo could do that.
It was amazing to watch. Almost a special effect.
- Like it was made on a computer. - [Vasco] One surprise left.
Indeed, one left.
I was waiting for Inês Aires Pereira,
but Inês Aires Pereira didn't show up.
Instead of Inês, security showed up,
along with a disco ball, and a DJ set.
But this was just the tip of the iceberg.
That sounds really positive, you had a DJ!
I don't know if positive is the word.
One of the major problems was the volume.
- The music was too loud? - No, the voice was too loud.
And more.
Ohhhhh!
What's up, Marklé?
Dance, son!
What's up, Marklé?
You know who am I?
No.
No?
You come to my show.
You don't know who am I?
The DJ.
Yes, but what DJ, Marklé?
I don't know your name.
I am... Steve Aoki!
And you're going to get the cake!
You wanna run?
Run!
- I should run? - Run!
No!
You cannot run, I have securities!
Dance! Dance! Dance!
Thank you, Spain!
I love to be here!
Now I'm leaving! Oh no!
Yes, I forgot.
I have another one!
Steve Aoki!
It's cake time!
Are you surprised?
[Inês] Yes.
I think you are!
That was a genius move, Inês.
- Are these those same glasses? - They are.
Everything is fine.
These glasses were hit with a lot of stuff during this season.
I enjoyed this one. You looked like Camões with the whipped cream. [Luís de Camões; one-eyed poet]
- Steve Aoki! - Here's where you can see the Generation Gap.
I didn't knew that Steve Aoki threw cakes.
I thought that there was magic, without a doubt, with Toy's task.
But there was also magic with Rui Melo's task.
He looked like a mermaid.
He dove backwards and just followed through.
I'll award 5 points to Rui Melo.
5 points to Rui Melo.
[Vasco] I'm sorry, wait a second.
- Yes, Inês? - [Vasco] Inês?
Thank you, Inês.
There are no doubts that Inês' task surprised me a lot.
Mainly because I didn't know that Steve Aoki threw cakes,
so I thought she had just gone crazy.
Which is also true.
It's also true, and as such, I thought it was spectacular,
but I had more trouble cleaning it off.
So I'll award 4 points to Inês.
In the middle of the table...
In the middle of the table, because I was also really surprised by it.
It's Toy. Toy with his magic number. 3 points.
After that, it's true that my son was featured in Gilmário's task.
And I should award 5 points due to that,
due to the so-called nepotism.
But no. It was really cute, but it's gonna ruin my life,
because after this goes live, people will start doing it.
So, I'll award 2 points to Gilmário for this task.
I'll have to award 1 point to Jessica, because it was a flop.
Applause for our magnificent ones!
Let's take a look at the scoreboard after this task.
How is everything?
Rui Melo is still in the lead with 17 points, Toy has 14,
Tied on 11 are Inês and Gilmário,
and Jessica has 7 points.
[Vasco] Okay!
Moving on to the next task! Nuno Markl, what awaits us?
Here on Taskmaster, we are aware
that the tasks are demanding, they can be weary.
We know that, so it suits us to have moments
when our contestants can recover their energy
by eating some good, healthy things.
True. And what are these good things, Nuno?
If we told them what they were,
it would spoil the surprise of a pretty tasty task.
[Vasco] Load it on the tablet!
- Greetings! - Greetings.
I'm scared.
You already like it, right?
Smells like spices.
- Disgusting. Will that be for eating? - Maybe.
I'm gonna puke. Hell, no.
"Work out the contents of these bags.
You may not open the bags. You can ask Markl to make one tiny hole
in each bag and have 5 minutes examination time,"
during which you must eat at least one big spoonful from each bag.
--eat at least one big spoonful from each bag."
I have major food allergies.
- To what? - I can't remember right now.
"Or, you can ask Markl to put all the contents
in the blender for 1 minute
and then have 10 minutes examination time,
during which eating is optional."
Now you choose it.
- I think I'll go one by one. - [Markl] Okay.
I'll go with the holes.
- Okay. And tasting. - I'll be tasting.
- Okay, let's go. - Let's go, then.
I knew you wouldn't disappoint.
So let's go for it.
[Vasco] "Let's go for it!"
Who do we begin with?
Let's begin with Jessica "Urgh" Athayde
and Inês "Urgh" Aires "Disgusting!" Pereira.
Disgusting!
Let's begin with this one.
How disgusting!
- A spoonful. Must be a spoonful. - I can't do it! Must I eat it?
- [Jessica] No, it's optional! - [Markl] No, it's not optional.
Once you chose the first option, you must see it through.
It's all edible and freshly-made.
Oh no, please, get a plate, or something!
I can't eat this.
Disgusting! Disgusting! What is this?
And now, what do I do?
MAYONNAISE + SQUID
[Markl] That's it, done.
Disgusting!
Horrible!
[Markl] What do you think is in there?
By God, don't puke in here.
Don't turn my way! Don't turn my way.
You come here and eat this shit!
[Markl] On to the next one?
Liver?
Cream?
Vinegar?
I need a tiny spoon.
- [Markl] They're all the same size. - "I am tiny!"
PEANUT BUTTER + TRUFFLED RICE
This may be better. You can do it.
That's peanut butter with... that chocolate cereal.
- Be brave! - "Please, please, please!"
- You have two and a half minutes. - "No, no, no, no!"
- [Markl] You will like it. - This is caramel Snickers and...
...and granola.
[Markl] Be brave!
- I'm gonna puke, just so you know. - Don't.
[Markl] How is it?
- No, I don't trust it. - No?
Gross!
- It's a paste! - It's a paste?
- Can't swallow it? - No.
[Inês] What is this?!
CHOCOLATE + KALE
Is it bad?
But it's...
It's peanut butter.
With Choco Krispies.
[Markl] How is it?
- [Markl] But... - Can't eat it.
You're making faces I've never seen before. It's like you're someone else.
Gross! With the smell of cream, this is all so disgusting.
Okay.
I'm sorry to disappoint the Taskmaster... but I can't do it.
Okay. Fine, fine.
- [Markl] Let's put an end to it. - But please tell me what it is.
You'll find out at the live recording.
Oh, fu...
The bathroom is just over there.
[Jessica retches and coughs]
Now, you take this...
- [Markl] To Vasco, to eat it. - To the "Teqmeter," and see if he eats it.
His thing of telling people to do stuff and just laughing must be nice.
Right.
[Jessica retches and coughs]
I'll go check on her.
Inês, because of you, I've already called the show "Teqmeter."
Explain, where does "Teqmeter" come from?
It's from the old ladies on the streets. They say, "I love watching you on 'Teqmeter'."
Nobody knows how to say it.
Jessica, what was the hardest thing here?
Was it not knowing? Because it was not so...
I get disgusted a lot.
They told me I had to eat a spoonful
and I saw Inês eating it like a little bird.
- Mind your own business! - [Jessica] I had to eat the whole spoon!
I already know I'm going to lose today. I've already lost today.
But that doesn't mean I'm just gonna let you cheat.
Simão is going to win! [Rui's character on Pôr do Sol]
Let's now see the tasks of the gentlemen.
I'm very squeamish, okay?
You look like someone who's already eaten a lot in his life.
Hey, I want to win this.
MAYONNAISE + SQUID
- Take it, Toy! - Take it, Little Toy!
That's meat. There's mashed beans.
There's some liquid with the meat.
Shrimp?
- [Markl] Must be a spoonful. - [Rui] No, no, it's full.
Oh, goddamnit.
PEANUT BUTTER + TRUFFLED RICE
I hope it's peanut butter.
It is peanut butter.
- With? - With?
That is peanut butter.
That's not enough? There's something else, I know.
There's more.
Something crunchy, but I don't know what it is.
But it's peanut butter.
- I don't want to eat... - [Markl] Could be. Go for it.
Gross!
It's a mix of lobster and mayonnaise.
- It's not bad? - No.
CHOCOLATE + KALE
- Gross. - [Markl] So?
That's chocolate, and... there's some kind of kale
You've got one eye more closed than the other.
I'm having an attack. There is peanut...
Can't figure out the other thing.
- [Markl] It's dripping a lot, isn't it? - [Rui] That's so disgusting.
- It looks as if you're enjoying it. - I'm liking it.
There's meat. It's salty.
CARAMEL + GRANOLA
You've got two and a half minutes.
Toy does not disappoint!
There's honey...
Looks like honey.
This is good.
There's peanut...
And honey.
For someone who began this with "I'm squeamish,"
- I'm enjoying... Now I can do it. - Yes, yes, yes.
Chocolate with...
...egg threads?
CONDENSED MILK + BITTERSWEET SAUCE
Condensed milk.
With...
Butter.
That's oat with honey.
You're so relaxed that this task is starting to become...
It suddenly feels like a cooking show.
No, damn, I don't know that flavour.
Something to do with caramel.
How gross!!
There's fear in here.
- It's salty. - Yeah?
No. It's sweet.
Baba de Camelo. [Condensed milk dish]
Won't you go for the middle one?
I'll stick with four.
- If I touch that... - It's the colour...
- It won't be pretty. - Right.
Thank you, Toy. That was...
Okay. That's my dinner.
- Calm down, Rui. - I'm calm!
Go have some sparkling water.
The three of them also began with "Ah, disgusting!"
But at some point, especially these two...
Eventually, Rui was like "are there more bags?"
"I don't even need a spoon."
In terms of the number of ingredients they got right.
Yes.
- Regarding Inês, she tasted two bags. - [Vasco] Yes.
But she guessed 3 ingredients.
The ingredients are what matter. The bags are not relevant.
Jessica guessed 1 ingredient correctly.
All the others guessed 3 ingredients correctly.
As we have a tie on 3, and here we have 1,
it's only fair that the number of ingredients
match the number of points.
1 point to Jessica, and then 3, 3, 3, 3. I reckon that's fair.
So let's see the scoreboard,
and see that, at this point, Jessica falls a bit more behind.
That's it.
What's up now? 20 points to Rui Melo, who moves forward.
Toy with 17 points, tied with 14 are Inês and Gilmário.
- And Jessica is there with 8. - All right!
Nuno, what's the next task we'll present to our Magnificent Five?
Tonight's Taskmaster is almost like a cycle.
It's beautiful, because we started the tasks on the ground with a coconut.
And we'll close the tasks on the ground in the same way.
Good morning!
[Inês yells unexpectedly]
- [Markl] Hello there, Rui! - [Rui] Dear God! - [Markl] We're here for that.
It was a bee.
I bet it's to hit that coconut.
I'm starting to read the Taskmaster's mind.
''Knock the coconut off its perch. Fastest wins."
"Your time starts now." Danm, it started!
[Markl] Bravo!
Bravo, Rui!
Damn!
- I'm doing...Ah! - My God.
You have just won this bear.
You can cherish and hug him.
- Thank you. - Hold him tight.
Congratulations! Congratulations on that!
Here it is, it's a prize!
Bravo!
And, obviously, you're gonna receive a prize.
I will?
A teddy bear!
Congratulations!
Now let's go grab a pint and see the second task.
I was already thinking that the coconut was so...
Too simple.
"Put all these drinks on the table in the caravan without spilling a single drop.
You must be clutching this teddy at all times.
You must not walk on the grass...
--while holding drinks.
Fastest wins. Your time starts now."
Oh, my cuties, my naive ones,
who thought that the task was to just hit the coconut off.
Applause and everything! [Vasco laughs maniacally]
It's important to talk about the teddy issue, because
everyone noticed that Inês' teddy was the smallest.
Why? Because she took longer.
Whose trips will we see first?
One with a big cutie and one with a tiny cutie.
Jessica Athayde and Inês AP.
I mean, I was talking about the teddy bears.
But that also works, yes sir.
Can I step on the bear?
Can I lay you down? And I'll walk on you?
You can get up later?
Will it be good for my back?
This is so heavy!
- Can I drink this? - [Markl] Are you gonna bring all of it?
It wouldn't be spilled?
No, it wouldn't.
Inside of you? ["entornar" = "spill" or "pour (into)"]
Ah, Markl, really?
- I think that is considered grass. - No, it's not.
- Will you defend this idea? - I will.
That way?
- [Markl] Will you? - [Inês] It's too heavy.
And more than one trip is out of the question, right?
My hands hurt.
This bear has some stories to tell.
Can't you help me with just that one?
I can't. Later they'll say that I help the contestants and whatever.
Help me.
What do you want? I don't understand.
I need you to hold this.
Do you want to go back?
See how you're helping?
I was suffering! Also, I'm afraid of her.
- Give me your hand. - Where?
Are you gonna hold the tray with only one hand?
Is that ground there also considered grass?
Great question.
This isn't grass. It's synthetic. It's fake.
Okay.
No one will take this from me.
I don't want to do that all again, Markl.
I can't see if there's spilling or not, because I can't get through the door.
- There's no spilling! - No?
No. It's impeccable. I'll get the other one.
Hey, it's all spilled!
After this, you're gonna defend what you did, right?
What I do now? It's over, isn't it?
Maybe...
Fine, I'll "spill" a little more.
Very abrupt movements happening there.
There's another question here.
It says that you have to carry this teddy for the entire task.
And it was here.
I took him off when I started drinking.
But I wasn't holding it then, because it was here.
But the task was already over.
Was it?
Ah! Is this you admitting defeat right now?
- Yep. - Okay.
But, I am sure that your effort will be recognized.
Thanks, Jessica.
- Why did you do that? - You try carrying all that!
I gave up when I saw tiny drops in the tray.
I saw them and thought, "Right, I can't defend that."
- [Vasco] Okay. - So I stopped.
Now, this is so unfair. When Markl was with me, he didn't help at all!
You were being very agile!
And besides, I'm afraid of Inês.
[Inês] How stupid.
So, do you only work when you're afraid?
I live in constant terror.
So Nuno, what is next?
Look, Vasco, what do we have next?
[Markl blows a raspberry]
I need a pair of sandals.
I need...
I can't walk over grass.
Maybe you can do some preparation work?
Okay.
Very brave.
- The table in the caravan? - Yes.
- Hey! - Hey!
Look, see!
- [Vasco] See what, Rui? - [Rui] I'm on the ground!
What am I looking at, Rui?
I'm only ever on the ground!
So you're only stepping...
- Always on the ground! - Yes, yes.
- [Vasco] Simple! - [Inês] What was he thinking?
Impeccable!
Rui, you didn't tell me about this!
So your concept of grass is...
Like, a carpet that impersonates grass...?
- Is grass. - Of course. Of course, of course.
[laughter]
I have to whistle now, Rui.
What a huge mess!
- And it was going so well.. - It was, but...
- What a shame. - A tsunami happened here.
- It was terrible. - Indeed.
A mop, please.
[Markl] It felt like a weird dream. Don't you think?
My favorite quote is, after he basically
shit on every rule there was,
he's just like, "Hey, it was going so well.''
What I found hilarious is he was watching the task
and we're all seeing grass, grass, grass.
And he's arguing, "Ground! Ground! Ground! Ground, ground!"
This man sees Paris-Dakar and thinks: "Those cars on the grass, yes sir!" [desert rally raid]
Now we have only left to see Gilmário and Toy's attempts.
Let's see.
Always clutching the teddy?
Yes, yes.
You look like some kind of superhero.
Ah, the naked torso.
You seem to be abusing the bear.
I have to make my own path.
This isn't grass.
Another one! Another one!
Ah, a wooden board.
Are you confident?
I think so.
Look. It's a passage.
[Markl] That's...
[Toy] Are you serious?
[Markl] I think we can blur it later.
We'll put a pixellated square.
I have to find another solution.
There's a fly on my face.
I'm walking with my legs spread.
I can still see your ass, Toy.
Are you happy with that bridge?
Yep, I think so.
I haven't seen any spills yet.
- [Markl] The teddy's a bastard, isn't it? - [Toy] Oh, yeah!
- You are loving this bear, aren't you? - It's awful.
You did like a recon mission with that single glass, right?
Ah, Markl!
You should carry the bear.
It's like reverse childbirth.
This doesn't count as grass, right?
Let's leave it to Vasco to decide.
The grass was down there.
- But isn't this artificial grass? - No. It's a carpet.
Synthetic grass is longer.
- So to you, this is a carpet, right? - Yes.
- Pretty big, isn't it? - Yeah. Unnecessarily so.
If I put a cow here and it started to eat, then I'd consider that real grass.
Whoever thinks this is grass, also thinks my ass is the Carcavelos Market. [weekly bazaar]
[Toy] Totally the same.
- I think my task is concluded. - It is.
Thanks, Toy.
Why do you exhaust me so much?
Don't you have mercy for a man of a certain age?
But Jesus (the bear) became your biggest friend, right?
Noticeably.
My question is: What else could we possibly see from Toy?
[Vasco] If that carpet was grass...
My ass was Carcavelos Market.
And we did see Toy's Carcavelos Market in his attempt, didn't we?
We definitely did.
Toy. Speaking of the rules. That was, yes sir...
- The teddy fell. - But I put it back.
- The grass was trampled. - No, just the once.
- After that, I went back without the glasses. - [Vasco] The grass was trampled!
Toy. You didn't step on the grass. I can guarantee you that.
And what about Gilmário Vemba?
Gilmário. That seemed "smooth."
No, I was practically a superhero with a bear instead of a cape.
- Sure. - Just missed flying to the caravan.
Yes, sir.
Also, the grass behaved very well.
When I walked, it didn't get in my way
like with Rui and António.
- It was like... - [Vasco] Very well.
Markl, what do you have to say?
Right. Do you want to go contestant by contestant
- to see the results? - Look, I think we should
- take Rui out of the equation, right? - Yes.
- Wrong! - [Markl] Yes, yes, yes.
- It was chaotic, spilled, trampled... - [Markl] Yes, yes, yes.
Jessica stepped in the normal grass,
but got worried about the fake grass.
- It doesn't count. Doesn't count. - Doesn't count.
- [Markl] Grass or fake grass? - [Vasco] No.
Then she brought six glasses to the caravan in 8 minutes and 52 seconds.
- Six glasses? - Yes.
And she stepped a little bit on the grass. What about Inês?
Inês had the small bear. She complained all the time.
Wanted to do it all in one trip. It didn't work.
I helped her out of fear!
And thought she'd break her arm while holding the tray.
My glasses were more full than the others' glasses were.
She gave up on the task after one trip.
So, she left six glasses in the caravan in 30 minutes and 22 seconds.
- [Vasco] Did she step on the grass? - [Markl] No, she didn't. No, sir. - [Jessica] But she gave up!
She gave up.
This is what'll happen. Rui Melo gets one point.
- But I didn't give up! - Quiet, Rui.
- [Toy] You didn't need to! - No, no, no! I didn't give up!
You didn't need to.
Despite what happened, there were rules - just so many rules
that were broken by Mr. António Ferrão. Toy'll get two points.
Gilmário'll take five, because by far he did the best.
- So, Gilmário takes five points. - He didn't break any rules.
You could give me points left over from the others.
Between Inês AP and Jessica, the only thing that differs them,
because even with the glasses, you both got six.
The only thing that differs is the fact that Jessica
stepped on the grass and Inês didn't step.
But I didn't have Markl's help.
I'll give four to Inês AP, three for Jessica Athayde.
- You play favorites! - We have not!
- You play favorites. - Why?
Because she gave up!
When a person gives up, they say, "I give up, I won't keep going."
[Inês] I didn't give up.
Now let's put these points in the current scoreboard
and have a look, before the live task, to see how it's going.
Rui Melo continues in the lead with 21 points.
Tied with 19 points each are Toy and Gilmário.
Inês has 18 points, and Jessica with 11.
Very well!
Applause for our Magnificent Five, and let's go to the last task of tonight's Taskmaster!
Nuno! It's the final task of "Teqmeter."
I won't be able to say it any other way now.
Final task, what is it?
This is a task in two parts, and I'll deliever the first part
to be read by a person who's having a tough day.
And as such, deserves the honor
- of reading the last task. - I just laughed out a booger!
Anything goes here.
"Write down a ten-word fact.
You have 100 seconds. There is a bonus point for the best fact."
- Fact? - It can be a fact about you guys,
- it can be about history... - A fun fact, about nature...
- Anything. It just has to be a fact. - [Vasco] And how long? - It must have 10 words.
- Exactly 10 words. - Exactly 10 words.
- Think about it. 100 seconds. - A nice fact! Let's go for it.
And the best fact gets a bonus point.
Has to be a fact. Something that we can say
"Look, things happened this way, that's it."
For the youngers in here who keep a diary:
"Dear diary, tonight I went to Teqmeter."
- By the way, how is it spelled? - T, E, Q, like 9
- Okay. - Teq-M-E-T... "Teqmeter". E-R.
- Okay. - "Teqmeter".
Has everyone finished?
And now we'll find out the second part of the task.
"Mouth your fact to the Taskmaster without making any noise whatsoever.
Most words understood by the Taskmaster wins."
- Mimic it? - No.
- Mouth moving, no sounds. - [Markl] Just using your mouth.
- Ah, okay. - Look at your fact
I'll try to understand what you're saying
and then I'll compare what you've written with what I've written.
- I can't get any closer to you? - [Markl] You must be by my side.
You must stand near Markl.
- Okay. Inês, you can start. - You can't see properly from there!
Yes I can. I have great vision.
Wait a second.
Okay.
- [Vasco] I have 10 words. - Okay.
Does it make sense?
Weirdly, it does.
Not in my case, because what you said was
"Seven days ago I got a boob job and I'm totally broken."
- Wow. Wow! - Yeaaaaaah!
Show it, Inês?
- Show so we can confirm. - Show us, show us!
I know, but...
"Seven days ago I got a boob job and I'm totally...sore!"
Look, just one. Nine words. Not bad at all!
- Applause for Inês Aires Pereira! - Nice score.
- Well done. Nine! - Nice score.
Now, let's see Gilmário.
Have you finished your sentence?
[Markl] Yeah, yeah.
It's impossible with this noise! You have to focus. Focus!
He's getting everything this time around, you see?
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8...9?
- I'm really curious to see what... - [Inês] His face!
- [Markl] What you've written, Vasco. - [Inês] But Vasco looks confident.
- [Markl] Can you show us what you've written? - [Gilmário] Hopefully. - [Inês] He used logic.
- I'll read what I have here. - Okay.
- What I have here is:
"The wife seven brushing teeth all 'mazé' day."
Almost right.
"It's important to brush your teeth every morning."
- [Gilmário] That's true. - [Inês] And evening! - [Vasco] Wait a minute.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.
[Vasco] Six words. Six.
Gilmário. Applause for Gilmário Vemba!
Time for Jessica.
Jessica Athayde!
- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. - Missing one!
- I have 10. - Let's go, then.
"My day has been really rough, goodbye."
Got them all right.
- [Gilmário] Jessica! Jessica! - [Markl] All correct.
I've already lost, right?
Jessica leads. Toy's up next.
If I can't guess the entire phrase from Toy or from Rui
Jessica will be the winner of this task.
We don't even need to do mine.
Toy.
6, 7, 8, 9, 10. I got 10.
And the phrase that I've written, and I believe Toy just said is:
"The potato of Aljubarrota was friendly to our Portugal."
"The Battle of Aljubarrota was crucial for our Portugal."
- Close! Sorry Toy, it was what I understood. - The potato of Aljubarrota?
- He couldn't go back. - I couldn't go back.
- He couldn't go back. He understood "potato." - What is the potato doing there?
Almost got it. Thanks Toy.
Time for Rui Melo.
- We must say, Rui Melo has already won. - I don't even need this!
So, will you try to finish on top?
- I will. - Believe it.
Let's go.
Of course. He's really expressive.
[Inês] He's really an actor, man.
You sound like a woman watching at home. "He's really an actor!"
- That's it? - [Rui] Yes. Count it.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
- Okay. - Okay?
- And I believe I got it right. - Really?
- Dear Lord. - [Vasco] What you have written is:
"The discovery and subsequent proof of the amazing theory of relativity."
- [Jessica] Wow! - [Markl] Damn!
- [Markl] I'm impressed. - This means...
This means that I'll award... 5 points to Jessica Athayde.
And I'll also award 5 points to Rui Melo,
who becomes the winner of tonight's Taskmaster!
At the end, we have our usual reflection.
About what have we learned in today's episode?
Sometimes we're just crazy, there's a jungle everywhere
So throw coconuts around, but the grass you should spare.
The most beautiful moments are not those you've bought
like a man waiting for Fertagus holding only a sock[the rail company]
Take a chance, throw a party, and the law you might break
Then get hit right in the kisser, by a DJ thrown cake.
When the apocalypse comes, like a Mayan or Aztec nightmare
One thing is certain, Toy will be in his underwear!
This was Taskmaster! Have a great night!
TASKMASTER WORLDWIDE INCORPORATED
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TRANSLATION BY MAFFU, DUDUPATIFINHO, JOÃOMARCOS14 AND CRIMSONFOX
PROOFREADING AND SYNC BY U/CHEQUEDUMMY AND CRIMSONFOX
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