"What is it? Has it started yet?"
It turned on, it turned on.
I'm going crazy. I'm really...
I'm going crazy.
This is the worst day of my life.
Just that I've experienced this before.
I work with Inês.
"Lynx Eyes" [idiom - excellent sight / "eagle-eyed"]
Good evening, you're all welcome to Taskmaster.
I'm Vasco Palmeirim, Master of Ceremonies of this festival
of surprising extravagant silliness and destroyer of reputations
with five people who, up until now, had their own lives and careers,
but are now forced every week to be seen in ways
that their educations didn't prepare them for. Thankfully.
And look, they do everything and then some, go above and beyond,
so that at the end of the season, they can take home
the most sublime of trophies...
I was gonna say after, but no, BEFORE the Oscars.
Who would want that bastard of a bald man that doesn't even have a face
when you can have a faithful reproduction of this head
adorning their formerly lackluster living rooms?
Applause for my small head, please.
[Markl] Bravo.
Beautiful, symmetric, a Greek god.
By my side to watch, professionally and properly referee the tasks of this lot...
Applause for the man who sometimes suffers on the inside,
and also on the outside, at the hands of these five.
Applause for Nuno Markl!
Thank you.
Thanks.
[Markl] Many thanks.
Nuno, let me ask you something different.
How are you tonight?
I'm amazing!
I played EuroMillions, won it, ordered an hyper-realistic robot,
and it's now sitting beside you while the actual Nuno Markl
is sprawled on the soft sands of a paradisiacal island that he's bought.
[Markl buzzes robotically]
Nuno, is there any truth to what you've just said?
No.
None.
- Not even on the "amazing"? - No, I'm just averagely "amazing".
Our panel of contestants is always amazing.
And who are they today?
She's a women who won a legion of fans on Taskmaster,
and the "Bicho" Instagram lives of Bruno Nogueira. [comedian]
About it all, she said:
"Suddenly, I've started to realize that I really had people who watched and liked me. And that's wonderful."
And it's wonderful that we can count on her joy, on her madness,
and even on her sulking whenever I give her low scores.
It's Inês Aires Pereira! Good evening, Inês!
- So sweet! - Once in a while, I am.
- I'm clapping for myself! - I'm all for you clapping for yourself. You deserve it.
By her side, a man who, during the first season of Taskmaster, was mostly unknown to the majority of Portuguese.
Nowadays, he's sold out shows all over the country, he's on the radio, he was the face of a telephone brand.
Were it not for the fact that he was born in Angola,
I don't doubt that by 2026 we would be calling him "Your Excellency, President of the Republic."
Gilmário Vemba!
By his side, a beautiful girl who became a woman right before our eyes.
She was Mimi on Morangos com Açucar. [soap opera]
She's a mommy to her Oliver.
She was Tatão in the recent remake of O Pai Tirano. [comedy]
But on this show, she's simply just our Jessy.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Jessica Athayde!
By her side, a man who was a precocious child.
For example, he started smoking at 9.
And when his father found out, he cut his 5 escudo allowance. [pre-Euro currency]
At that time, little Toy wrote the following letter to Santa:
"Dear Santa, I've been really good this year."
"So I want LEGOs, a He-Man, and a carton of SG Gigantes." [cigarettes]
Your applause for Toy!
And give a warm welcome to tonight's guest.
He's someone who I particularly enjoy.
We were together a while back, at a friend's dinner. He came to me, touched my back, and said:
"Look, Vasco. You don't know this, but I'm the #1 fan of Greg Davies, the English Taskmaster,"
"And what you and Markl are doing, congrats. I'm really enjoying it."
And I thought to myself, "You're so screwed."
Now he's really screwed!
Applause for Diogo Valsassina! [TV actor]
Just a little tête-à-tête with Diogo.
- Hi, Diogo, how are you? - Hi!
How was it? Are you happy?
- The right word, and you've even used it before, is "despair". - Despair?
- He got really nervous. - Yes, I usually get really nervous.
But there I got nervous, and it elevated to despair.
And then I'd get over it, and just think,
"Why did you get so nervous? You could just do it another way."
Despair is the right word...
Applause for the despair of Diogo Valsassina!
Despair! Despair!
Let's start with the task that our contestants did at home.
Nuno Markl, what have we asked these five souls today to bring us from their homes?
Today we've asked these sweet people to bring us
the weirdest object to take on the way home while everyone is watching.
We say on the way home, but it could also be on the way to the studio.
- Hi Inês, good evening! - Good evening! - How are you?
- I'm fine. - You're fine?
Do you think you'll get 5 points with what you brought us?
What I'll say is that if someone saw me on the street carrying this, they would think it's weird.
Let's see what Inês brought us.
Oh, Jesus!
- It's weird, right? - I just want to know...
And this is why I'm afraid of her!
Now just imagine Inês, screaming "MAAAAARKL!"
- Now... Just think about it. - I'm not sleeping tonight.
- So is... - It's a giant one, not a small one. - Just what I was about to ask.
- Big knife, boy. - A big knife.
Applause for Inês' big knife. I love the word big knife! ["facalhão"]
♪ Na na na na... Big knife, big knife! ♪ [Tune: Dogtanian and the Three Muskehounds]
Gilmário, what did you bring us?
It's an object that's usually used in awkward situations, at least for adults.
Being on the bus with this on your lap...
Makes people question, makes them record you, message their family group,
"Look at this guy."
I brought a chamber pot.
[Markl] There must be times that a person...
It looks like that, but it's for an adult's ass.
- [Markl] Sure, sure. - [Jessica] Looks like a cup.
At Taskmaster, everybody says something for the first time. I'll say for the first, maybe only time:
Applause for Gilmário's chamber pot.
Jessica, what have you brought us?
I've brought Dorothy.
Dorothy... is a head.
Of a dog.
This is already weird.
In so few seconds.
But she would look great next to the chamber pot and the knife.
Dorothy was something that I came up with a few years ago, called "Dorothy the Bitch."
And I did something like a photoshoot with her. I would use her.
And her boyfriend is Miguel Guilherme. [actor]
- [Inês] It's true! - Did he also wear a dog mask? - He didn't.
He's in love with Dorothy.
And she's like... amazing.
People pass by her, and they can't believe it.
Applause for Dorothy. Jessica, thank you.
Toy, what have you brought us?
I brought something that, effectively, disturbs me when I walk on the street.
It happens a lot with me, and with a lot of other people.
It happens when my spouse...
"Love! Hold my purse, while I go I don't even know where!"
And then you're walking on the street, holding it.
And it's really embarrassing, because everyone looks at you.
[Vasco] Okay.
[Toy] Imagine me on the street with this bag on my shoulder.
Does Daniela know that you brought her bag, or not?
- Uhhh... - Thank you, Toy.
Applause for the bag of Toy's spouse.
I think it wouldn't look bad on you, Toy!
[Vasco] Diogo.
Uhh... Look...
I brought something that I, for better or worse, don't leave my house without.
- I know I'm not the only one. - You take it everywhere?
Yes. Look, this, by itself, doesn't make an impact, but only having one!
Only one toilet paper roll in your hand, sitting on a bus.
Either you're going for a coffee, and put the roll down on...
- [Markl] It's sad. - It's just...
But look, I know I'm not the only one like this.
I don't go out at night without some paper in my pocket.
You go out at night with a roll of toilet paper?
That's the question.
It's... happened before.
- [Markl] An artist's life. - Applause for our Magnificent Five --
-- and the things they brought. Let's score them.
Let's start with what I believe is the least likely to hear "That's weird!" on the street.
I'll award...
1 point for Toy and Daniela's bag.
I'll award 2 points for Gilmário's chamber pot.
- The chamber pot?! - Yes!
I'll award, for the awkward scene, and because he sold the toilet paper well,
3 points to Diogo's roll of toilet paper.
Inês' big knife gets 4, and the really weird dog head from Jessica gets 5 points.
And that's how we start tonight's Taskmaster.
I think that's really fair. I think it's fair.
Then, let's move on to the moment everyone wants to see, that everyone's been longing for.
The moment when these five poor souls get shaken up
by tasks that they never thought they'd one day have to do.
I urge you, Nuno, I URGE you to tell us what our starter is today.
Our amuse-bouche, our little Martini Bianco...
...which will then be served to all of these people, in the form of stupidity?
Well, in a way, this is "back to school."
But only to one part of school, a really very tiny part of school.
- Do you know which one? - Which one?
The eraser. We don't need anything but an eraser, now.
Ah!
♪ Hello! ♪
♪ How you doing, Mr. Markl?! ♪
Doing well, thanks.
♪ Welcome to the task! ♪
- Hello there, Diogo. - Hi! Markl.
How are you?
Hello, my friend.
What are we erasing?
Let's see.
♪ "Completely erase this eraser!" ♪
"Fastest wins."
♪ I want to understand what to do here! ♪
- Completely erase this eraser? - Mmhmm.
♪ How do you erase an eraser?! ♪
Now, that...
This is what I've got to do, right?
♪ The eraser's supposed to be the thing that erases. ♪
Right...
♪ What's this nonsense you get up to in this house?! ♪
Is it this?
♪ This series, I'm so cheery... ♪
♪ I'm so breezy. ♪
♪ Getting these tasks done, easy peasy. ♪
- That was cool, wasn't it? - It was. It was cool.
I'm going to replace Toy.
"Erase this eraser."
If I recall, the fate of these iconic school erasers
was that they got smaller, and smaller... until they disappeared. That was it.
Yes, something that could take months to happen.
Now, imagine these poor people having to do that at world record pace.
But one thing's for sure: The eraser had to disappear.
And I would make sure of that, with my lynx eyes!
Who are the first eraser erasers?
Two people that gave it their all, until they didn't.
Gilmário and Toy.
The duo now internationally known as Gilmoy.
"Completely erase this eraser."
Erasing could mean...
I mean, completely eliminating this eraser from existence.
Erase it from history.
I'd try to make everything I could disappear.
Do you think this will burn?
It could catch fire.
What if I eat the eraser? Can I?
- I see an iron, there. - The eraser lobbyists are very powerful.
I don't know if it would be safe for you guys to be here.
What do you think, Markl?
It looks like an iron from the last century.
It's kind of like parmesan cheese, right?
Just so I don't go alone, you know?
Let's go together.
It will be a pleasure, Gilmário, to meet you in Heaven.
It turned on, it turned on.
Man, I could've at least been doing something useful.
Yeah, if we had documents or something that we needed to erase.
I could have been working for the tax department.
But you're sort of making a really pretty confetti.
[Markl] It's a kind of art form.
Beware, children.
Don't try this at home.
It's like we've been here the whole day, huh?
- You're just dropping it, are you? - This is...
Oh, the hammer's made of wood. It's wood...
This eraser doesn't smell like anything.
AAAAAGH!
[Gilmário laughs maniacally]
- I need to erase the eraser. - You do. - All of it.
- I can still see some eraser. That's the question, right? - Right...
The task's not to get here, grab the eraser, and throw it away.
That would be to make the eraser disappear.
Now it's ready...
...to be eaten!
You erased the entire thing...?
In a way, you've still got the eraser, just in a different shape, right?
I can see that.
Can you believe that I can't feel my fingers?
And now...
... I will make it disappear.
I can't make it disappear right here in front of you.
Right.
Now, the dust...
I'll make it disappear in the toilet.
That's not a good idea, it will go to sea that way.
I know it's not, but I can't think of anything else...
If I ate it, it would go to sea afterwards, too.
Don't put erasers in the toilet, guys.
No, don't do that.
Don't do that. In this case, it's just to complete the task.
It's an urgent matter, for you.
It's disappearing.
I erased all the eraser, haven't I?
- Have I erased the eraser? - I can't see any eraser. - So I erased it. Right.
- Do you want to check? - Yes.
I'll consider that done then, shall I?
Eraser completely erased.
Goodbye, task done.
- I'll just take this home. - Okay.
My arm still hurts.
That's what I was going to ask you! How's that little arm?
It was really complicated. I erased the entire eraser.
- Yes. - By hand.
How long were you? Do you have any idea?
- 6... 5 and a half minutes. - Do you have his time, Markl?
Toy considered his task finished at 12 minutes 14.
- 12 minutes, doing that? - Imagine that! What a workout!
[Vasco] As for Gilmário. How well did it go?
In the end, it was difficult to make the eraser disappear, wasn't it?
In the end, the eraser had to be...
practically evacuated to the world at large.
There were other lost erasers out there.
So, I went for the place I was sure Markl wouldn't be able to search.
- Exactly. - It's erased from history. It doesn't exist.
Meanwhile, you owe me a new iron. That one was my grandma's.
You did end up ruining the iron.
No, no -- I left it good as new. That's what the spatula was for.
- The iron was right as rain. - Thank you for that.
Well, Gilmário took 18 minutes and 29 seconds to...
..."erase" the eraser.
- "Erase." - Erase.
Look, who's the next illusionist who's skilled in the art of stationery disappearances?
It's a great magician who has the following artistic name:
Ogoid Anissaslav!
- It's Diogo Valsassina. - Okay.
Keep in mind, Diogo tried to... drive me crazy.
And, in a way...
- He managed it. - Mmhmm?
Is... Is this flammable?
In any way?
Good question. I've never thought about the flammability of school erasers.
- Right? - I wasn't one to set things on fire.
- No? - I wasn't that kind of teenager.
Okay...
Finally, fire!
Let's... grill.
Eraser...
OH, MARKL!
- Oh! - What's up! How good are you...
At grilling?
- Oh, my God. - Come with me. Come on.
Here we have a bed of... Basically, alcohol.
Are we ready?!
Fire! Wow! Barely visible. But it's burning!
- It's burning. - It's burning! Okay.
- I'll confess, I'm a little disappointed. - Relax. It's still...
- It's bubbling! - It's bubbling, yes. - It is!
Now, the question is...
- Incredible, it's changing color... - This is "fastest wins," right?
Right. Right, right, right, right.
Let me check...
- Oh! Hold on! - It's flaccid, isn't it?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah! It's... - It's almost liquid. - Yeah.
It's still an eraser after all, right?
It is. It still looks like an eraser, right?
- Doesn't it kind of smell like caramel? - Yes.
- Which makes me wonder... - Look at that!
...what they put in the stuff we eat.
- Go on. - Look at that. Look at...
This. Do you think the paper...
Are you... trying to trick me, by making the eraser disappear behind me?
- What do you mean? - Just that I've experienced this before.
I work with Inês.
[Diogo] Ah, right. I also worked with her for a while.
Then, look, alright.
Still, I'd like to go down there. Just to check if...
Right, that's...
If I can't find it, we'll say the eraser is gone. But if I do...
I'm with you.
- Are you? - Yeah, feel free to search... - Okay.
Ah, here it is.
- It's there?! - It's here.
How is this possible?!
Ah, I can't believe it!
- Well, it still looks like an eraser. - Yes, I wouldn't say that's been erased.
Lynx eyes!
So, where do we go from here?
You can keep...
Just to be sure, let me see if...
- It's here. It's here. - It's there?!
Dude, how did... Excuse me, but how...
- Okay. - Are we at an impasse?
We kind of are at an impasse.
Okay, well, I know you'll probably just find it again.
- If you throw it again? - Yes.
I'm very persistent.
- Trying again? - Yeah.
I think...
- Did you throw it? - I did.
I didn't see it in the air.
Didn't you? Look, a bit of eraser here.
I threw it, I threw it!
This is really weird, now.
- [Crew] (Psst! Guys, get back!) - I didn't see the eraser in the air.
If it followed this trajectory...
Great job, Valsa!
[Inês] Making him look like an idiot!
That one was better, wasn't it?
- That was good, yes. - I think so!
Right now, I don't know where it is.
I know this is terrible for you.
I feel unprofessional. I feel dirty.
Don't feel unprofessional. You found it twice!
I think we can say the task is done, because I can't find the eraser.
- So I'll blow the whistle. - Okay.
Ah, goddamnit.
He did it, he did it. I mean, he did.
He's a guest, but it's like he's been here since the beginning!
I'm only seeing this now. I don't have eyes in the back of my head.
- You don't? - I can't see from behind.
So he was, he was...
He tricked me.
- Lynx eyes! After all... - [Vasco] Lynx eyes, you're right.
What were you thinking when you threw it? "I've won this," right?
And suddenly, he finds it not once, but twice!
Yes. So, then I had to use the technique of...
- Of trickery. - I'm kind of like...
I'm like a truffle pig. But it only works with school erasers.
"I'll pretend to throw it forward, but then throw it backwards."
I don't know if...
What was great about it was, when I pretended to throw it forward, he questioned it.
But then he said, "I think I saw something move there."
That was the wind. It wasn't me. I didn't throw anything.
But something - SOMETHING! - made it move, which made him think I'd thrown it, so...
Very good. It's there, at my house. I'll end up finding it.
Applause for Diogo Valsassina, the eraser thrower!
- Good job, Diogo! - Thank you.
Now, was the eraser erased? Or did it simply get lost?
We'll talk about that later. In the meantime...
How long did all of Valsassina's maneuvers take?
They took 11 minutes and 54 seconds...
- Which felt like forever. - It did!
This was cut down a lot. I spent a lot of time searching.
- But it's good for you to spend some time in nature. - In the middle of nature.
- What did you say? A truffle piggy. - A truffle piggy.
- Now, the ladies. - A beautiful pig man. - Right?
It's the ladies, erasing the eraser.
Who will we start with?
We'll start with someone who tried so many different techniques
that if we had a Guiness Book adjudicator in the house,
she might have been able to beat a record or two.
Is this erasing an eraser?
Who knows.
What's the time?
It's only been 2 minutes.
What if I cut the eraser in half, and you help me? My arm's hurting!
I won't eat it.
I'm not doing this right.
No one will help me, not even a little bit!
No one. Zero.
What if I shred it?
You doing that, it's like you're cooking, isn't it?
Did no one do this? Everyone did this, probably.
It's got to be the whole thing, right?
Okay.
Let's see... where this gets us.
This didn't do what it was supposed to at all!
Yes. Kind of, I mean, it's...
What if... I put this...
In the toilet?
Questions arise, right?
I just imagine... turtles with eraser bits stuck in their noses.
And...
I can't do it.
I'm thinking... Shall we fry it or cook it?
Could this... disappear, finally?
- I'll put this in the trash, and that's how the eraser will disappear. - Okay.
Because... I can't think of anything else to do.
Thank you so much, then, Jessica.
Yeah.
And Toy ate the eraser, didn't he?
- Toy eats everything. - Yeah.
And Inês put the eraser in her lady parts.
No...!
[Markl] We'll find out!
Everyone heard that, right?
Jessica. Giving up, Jessica?
I understand. I also let myself down. But I tried a lot of things!
And I had like...
An enviromental calling.
To not put it in the toilet!
Because I think that... This and that. But!
I didn't give up, like, "Ah, she gave up in 3 minutes."
No, I gave it my all!
Before we reveal your time...
You had some suspicions...
Over the type of tactics and techniques...
Employed by your fellow - by your FRIEND - Inês.
- Why? - [Vasco] Right?
It's because I know her very well.
- Is that so? - And I'm probably not wrong.
That's what we'll see, right?
Press the button!
I'm not getting out of here today! You guys are crazy!
"Completely erase this eraser."
Ah, don't tell me it's some chemistry shit.
Some kind of chemical that I've got to use...
It looks intact, doesn't it?
There's a certain rhythm there, right?
I feel like we're gonna be here a while, right?
The eraser keeled over!
Now, if I do CPR on the eraser...
Look at her! She's alive! Except...
She fainted again!
Except it's fine, because I'll use an eraser defibrillator...
Ah! There she is! Hello, eraser! Hello --
Fuck it!
Do you have your phone on you? I need to look up synonyms for erase.
- "To disappear!" - But it's there.
While I can still see it...
- I know it's there. - But you can't see it.
- No, but I can feel its presence. - No, you can't.
There's a little bump there... and it's a rectangular shape.
I can go further...
If you go there... I won't check.
Wingardium Leviosa!
You were very quick!
- Ah! - You already whistled.
And I really put it there!
[Markl] These people know each other so well, right?
First of all, we owe Jessica an apology. Jessica...
- That earns me an extra point, at least! - Sure, sure.
She knows me!
This was one of those tasks that you weren't very interested in, huh?
It was incredible!
- You wish! - WAS it incredible?
What?! Valsa put it away, Markl didn't see it.
I also... put it away, and Markl didn't see it!
It's all the same.
Gilmario's also went away... He also didn't see it.
- It's the same! - But, when you left, it was on the ground.
No, no. I said, "blow the whistle", he did.
- The task is, is, is over. - Hmmm.
He whistled, so I...
And the eraser fell.
And when he looked, he went, "Ah!"
And I said, "You blew the whistle. The task is over."
Hmmm. The task was to erase the eraser.
Of course, everyone was like, "What does it mean? Is it to pass out, to disappear...?"
The one who tried their hardest to erase the eraser,
- to properly erase the eraser, which was what I wanted... - Was me.
Was, in fact, Toy.
You couldn't do it completely.
I noticed that there was a bit left.
But that bit's enough. You won't take 5 points, you'll take 4. Okay?
- What was that? - Don't laugh. Don't laugh!
- Oh, I'm sorry! - What are you laughing for?
[Markl] She had a moment. It was like a sneeze.
- No, it's... - You know what that is? The effects of that eraser being put God knows where!
[Markl] That's it.
He erased it, and even still, he's only got 4 little points.
I'll give 3 points to Diogo.
- 3 points? - 3 points.
3 little points for Diogo.
You tried to make it disappear, and your effort, once, twice, three times, led you to 3 points.
I brought fire to the show!
Gilmário, you'll take 2 points.
2 little points for Gilmário.
I erased the eraser on the iron!
- Don't fight, just accept it. - 2 points for Gilmário.
Jessica, for the forfeit, 1 little point.
Fair.
It's 5, isn't it?
5...?
5 points?!
Isn't it?!
If she gets 5 points, then... Well, I'll keep my mouth shut.
- I'm only here as a guest... - No! If I get 0... that's a shame. - [Vasco] Why?
Because I actually... The eraser disappeared.
- It never disappeared. Never did. - To Markl's eyes! - Not quite.
It didn't?
And I want you to look at this as extra motivation.
- Great phrase! A father and a teacher! - I want you to rethink this task. - I thought I'd win this!
- If I don't win this, what else? - I want you to think, next time:
"Although it's not my type of task, I need to make an effort."
- I loved this one! - You didn't, Inês. - I swear I did.
As the Taskmaster, to... To make you grow...
- Vasco, I know where you live. - To encourage...
Yes, I know. My door is open so we can discuss this task...
- I brought a knife, Vasco. - I know.
But you won't get any points for this task on Taskmaster.
So...
[Audience cries out]
I'm loving this!
It's alright. I've got you guys.
And that's what matters.
[Vasco] Inês? Are we understood?
Yes.
- So, with these points, let's move on and sum them up... - Zero?!
On the scoreboard up to now.
[Markl] Let's do it.
What's happening right now: Jessica and Diogo are tied with 6 points, in the lead.
In the middle of the scoreboard, it's Toy, with 5.
And then, tied, Inês and Gilmário, with 4 points.
- The die has not yet been cast, though. Anything can happen, guys. - We're still at the very beginning.
A lot of things are yet to come, tonight!
And, my dear Nuno, we'll advance to the next task.
- This next one is like a gift for our contestants. - Yes.
Because needless to say: they try hard, sometimes suffer a little bit.
So maybe it was time to offer them a cuddle, some time in the spa.
Yes, a sauna with hot stones.
I hope somebody was calling me over here.
Ai ai ai ai.
- Looks hot. - Damn.
How you doing, man?
- Are you great? - Fine, thanks.
- Alright? - You like saunas?
- Huh? - A good sauna. - I actually do like Turkish baths, saunas.
So you want me to read, get start. This is right there with the duck.
"Make the sauna stones... steam." [awkward verb conjugation]
"...Steam."
Tell me something: is that hot?
Very hot.
They're not steaming. They're just really hot.
- "You must stand behind the bay..." [baía] - "...rope." [baia]
"The bay!" No!
"...when the sauna stones steam."
What?
- The stones are hot. I need to make them smoke? - Yes.
What?!
For that to steam, I need water, right?
"You may not move the sauna stones or the rope."
What's the bay?
"You may not use a hose."
"Fastest wins. Your time starts now."
That's really far.
Okay!
Let us work.
- "Bay?" - Look, I studied Humanities!
I studied Literature, and I'm a bad reader!
It was moving to see their dedication to get the stones to release some steam.
During those few minutes... It was the most important thing!
- It was the most important thing, and that's beautiful. - As it should be.
We'll watch the tasks of the women, Inês Aires Pereira and Jessica Athayde.
Otherwise known as: Inesica... Aires... Peryde.
- [Vasco] We stretched too far with that, right? - That was awful.
They're already steaming.
No. They're very hot, but they aren't steaming.
The heat's going like... "ai ai ai ai".
How do I get it to smoke?
I don't know how to... Ice?
The stones need to steam? Water.
Where can I get ice? The kitchen?
Markl, pee on them.
- Needs to be from behind the rope. - No! More to the right!
- Help me. - Hoses are prohibited.
Help me.
Let's try.
There's not, like, tubes?
Like a big, giant tube?
But how can I get a lot of water into the tube?
No, it won't work.
I can throw wet things!
And the water would... "tsch!"
Damn, I'm really bad at aiming.
If I throw a wet ball, it'll hit the stones, they'll go "tsch", and I'll win.
It's super complex.
I should go close to the stones to see if they steam, but I'm afraid I'll get a wet ball to the face.
[Inês] Ah! Steam!
- [Markl] No. - No steam?
I have to, like, get something to...
No.
Careful.
This is timed, right? I just remembered.
AAAAAAH!
HEYYYYYYY! Steam?
Steam.
Nope.
Or not.
[Vasco] Very well!
I tried hard. It's not my strong suit.
I don't know the distance, but it was brutal.
- Wasn't it, Inês? - Yeah, really far. - It was really far.
That's why I think that Inês' idea was great, but I tried much harder.
[Markl] Do you want the number of attempts?
I love this friendship.
"Friend, I love you, I was much better than you."
No, she said she tried hard. Still the worst.
Like, I'm a genius, she tries hard.
- That's why I agreed. - Inês had two attempts, right?
Inês' had two attempts. Jessica had 26.
26. Okay. But it's also about time, which we'll find out later.
Look, who will make the stones steam next?
Two more people from the house, and one faster than the other.
I'm refering to the men, Toy and Gilmáro Vemba.
First attempt.
- Is that a roll of toilet paper? - It's a roll of toilet paper. - Okay...
Okay.
I need to dump this bucket, but I need to be there when it starts smoking.
I can't be there.
I can start the steam, then come back here.
- You can coordinate the timing of the steam? - No.
A bit of pool water.
And I'll try to make little balls with the toilet paper, and try to hit it.
Let me think...
That's really far.
- I don't know if you understand the idea, but... - I do, I do.
Ah, I thought it'd be first try.
I'm just adjusting my aim.
What the hell is Toy doing?
Oh, good!
- You know what I'm doing? - Yes, yes.
[Strange noises]
It fell on the stones, but they're not smoking.
There probably wasn't enough water.
Oh, nooooo!
It steamed!
There was steam.
I was here.
To me, it looked like you weren't fully there.
It looked like it steamed, and then you ran a centimeter towards that side.
Think of another idea.
- No steam? - Nope.
[Markl] Ah!
- Steam? - Steam.
Feel we're done, man.
This is was a good idea.
'Cause... this year...
Taskmaster has been... a lot of a trouble.
If you need something, just call me.
- Right? - Right.
My name is Gilmário Vemba.
Just go look for me.
- Thank you. - "Thank you!"
- I can't do it again, right? - If you wanna try again...
Task finished.
Steam!
♪ It steamed! It lit up! It went out! And it was all me!♪
I thought I only had one try. I was there...
- I see. - I just stopped.
- But I loved the crabwalk technique. He moved over sideways... - Right.
You know, you were meant to join in, man. Because that was...
It was like a fencing moment. Toy was already there.
If you went around him, and then both of you were like...
It would end well!
I liked it when Toy, his look of absolute sadness over being six centimeters away...
- No, it was brilliant... - It was! - And it suddenly fell!
But where did he go? To the other side of the bay.
To the Sado Bay! [restaurant in Setúbal]
Gilmário, tell me about that character of yours. I loved it. "I'm Gilmário Vemba..."
I was a man from... from the States. Coming from another Angola.
There's anoth-- There's a prison in the United States, that's named Angola! [Louisiana State Penitentiary]
That's true.
- So I embodied this guy. - [Vasco] Very well.
It's a mine. I just need the boots. And I got heart.
And I think it's... just quite alright.
- Oh, yeah! - Yeah, oh yeah!
Gilmário Vemba, Ladies and Gentlemen! Gilmário Vemba.
These guys love for me. Just call me...
We're just missing the task attempt of our special guest, Diogo Valsassina.
And I know...
I know this might surprise you.
We're back to talking about quite a minimalist task...
But Markl has already told me that what we're about to see is Homeric, almost an epic poem.
There's something we must thank Diogo for.
Diogo put on screen everything that justifies the program's budget.
- People might suspect, "But where's the budget?" - Many ask.
"They're just soaking some stones!"
"Someone must be slipping cash in their pockets, or tax payers' money."
No! No, look. He used everything.
- He used everything we have. - [Vasco] Thanks, Diogo.
I dunno how I'll do this thing.
It's hot.
What do I need to make this smoke? Let me look over here.
Help me out here. What can I use?
Well... a... a fan, some random thing.
No, this does nothing.
Maybe if I... do this...
I want wind!
See anything?
Go!
Come on, water!
Supposedly, this will catch fire.
The bay, man! The bay!
I need to be behind that?
I need to be behind the rope!
Or the bay, as I was calling it.
- Heyyyyy! - This will do it. - Tubes!
- Ah, what the hell? - Jessica, he's one of us.
- Arrgh, this structure... - Wow!
- You will smoke. You will smoke! - You will smoke! You will!
Damn!
There.
- My strategy is to create an irrigation system... - Spectacular!
For me to get the water from the pool to here.
But it isn't working.
This will happen, one way or another.
I don't know how, but it will happen.
Tubes!
Damn, what now?
Let's go, tubes!
Stay here. Stay here.
Yeah, yeah. Go ahead and fall.
This needs to happen, one way or another. This has to work.
Go.
Let's go. Okay.
Don't fall!
- [Toy] There it goes... - Awwwww! - [Markl] Tragic.
I think I'll forget about this. I'll forget about it.
It's not worth it.
I'll go crazy.
I'm already going crazy, so I don't care.
Go, get out of here. Disappear.
Disappear.
Let's try brute force.
Will it go that far?
You're failing!
We'll do it like this.
Will it leak water?
No leaks!
No leaks. Okay.
More water. Go!
I can't see...!
For the love of all that is holy...
LET'S GOOOOO!
Damn, man!
Seriously?!
Poor thing!
I could have done that at the start. Why all this?
Bye.
Ah, damn!
At that point, you're not just questioning the task, but the whole meaning of life, and the current point of your career.
Yes, exactly. I was desperate.
At one point, in Diogo's head, the scenario he was probably thinking,
was that a tsunami passed over my farm...
It went to Diogo's head, destroying anything involving emotions, experiences, and science.
It's... just so...
Applause for Diogo Valsassina. Diogo, you're a hero. Thanks.
Let's see the results, because now it's the lowest time wins.
- You want to know the times? - I want to know who took the longest. It's Diogo. How long?
Diogo took...
- Years. - 28 minutes and 56 seconds!
- Years. - Almost half an hour.
Next we have Jessica, who took 5 minutes and 48 seconds.
Goddamn it!
Then Inês, with 4 minutes and 51 seconds.
Then Toy, with 4 minutes and 24 seconds.
And Gilmário, the fastest of all, 4 minutes and 8 seconds.
- That's what we do, man. - Very well! - 5 points to Gilmário.
And let's go to the total scores.
Markl, how does the score situation look now?
9 points for Gilmário and Toy, both in the lead.
8 for Jessica, in the middle of the table.
And then, further back, Inês and Diogo, both with 7 points.
Very balanced. Really very balanced.
Now, it's the next task.
It's interesting; we'll go from quite a minimalistic task, to one that can drive them crazy.
Except Diogo. He went crazy from that one, too.
- That includes me, Vasco. - Show me what we have here, then!
♪ Happy birthday to... ♪ Oh, is that not it?
Ah, I'm already gonna have to think loads, right?
This looks like a scene out of Dexter, something like that.
I'm starting to get really scared of Taskmaster.
Really scared.
This could be... A trap.
"Make all these things happen at the same time:"
"The ladybug must be walking."
"The marbles... must be rolling."
"The sand must be falling."
"The cradle must be clicking."
"The balls must be falling."
"The fig-ged spinner must be spinning."
How do you say this? Fag-got...
Fag-ged spai- spinner - spainner?
Spinner - spainner, it's all the same. Spinning, it must be this.
The fidget spinner... What is that? Is it this?
Fidget spinner?
"The fidget spinner must be spinning, and the candles must be out."
- "The toys must be jumping, the spinning top must be spinning...?" - Yes.
The toys, where are they? These are the toys.
It's this, that needs to jump?
How does this jump?
"You must applaud when you think you've finished the task. Fastest wins."
But I have to make that all happen at the same time?
Everything has to move at the same time.
"Your time starts now." Your time starts now?!
Damn, wait, hold on!
- [Vasco] Your time starts now! - [Jessica] Damn!
So, Nuno, so that there's no doubts:
The idea is for them to have ALL of those objects running, moving, all at the same time.
And we'll start with Toy and Inês.
There's just one thing: I don't know how this works.
Like this, right?
Wait, hold on, I'm just testing.
Hold on.
Where are you going, son?
Shhhh. Here, next to mommy.
This one, I'll just go at it like this. Pah!
Maybe not.
This isn't stressful at all!
This is hugely stressful.
- We weren't made for this. - I don't think anyone was made for this.
This is hugely stressful.
I wanted to rip those little balls off!
Right.
Alright, okay.
Those toys are AWFUL!
You sons of bitches.
You sons of bitches!
The LADYBUG!
Son of a bitch. This is really annoying.
The candle is still... Let's get this over with.
You, you... You, spin... You, go down, go down, go down... You go...
And you go! Right.
Done! Done.
Oh, man...
I'm the best, man!
I did everything at once, there was a moment where it moved all at once.
I just don't know which moment.
Okay, then. 1...
...2, 3. I'll go for this one fir-
I'll go for this one first.
Then this one.
I did it, but you guys didn't see it!
Did you see that it was done? It was done.
Fuck!
[Markl] I almost went mad...
I'll tell you this: this might be one of my favorites ever.
I don't even know why they still torture and beat people up.
- They could just make people do this. - Do this. - This, yeah.
Toy, I'll start with you.
You were convinced that, at some point, you made everything move at once.
I mean, in my imagination...
So. Numbers for Inês?
There's a number I really like.
Inês swore 12 times, during...
the 5 minutes and 48 seconds the task lasted.
Which gets her an average of two swears per minute!
It could have been worse! That's self-control!
- This is hard, for me. - [Vasco] Mmhmm. - It's very hard for me.
Regarding Toy. What can you say about Toy?
Toy said his task was done at 2 minutes 10. So...
Toy achieved, basically...
Putting out the candles, and clapping while the candles were out.
- Okay. - Other than that, everything was yet to happen.
- Everything was yet to happen! - That's just how it goes.
[Markl] When it comes to Inês...
- Inês' biggest problem is that she thought... - But I blew out the candles!
Inês thought that the candles had to stay lit.
So, if we combined their attempts, we'd have the perfect attempt.
Okay. Who do we have next?
Next up, we've got someone who, even today,
still might want to use a flamethrower to get rid of all of the objects whose actions he had to coordinate.
Ladies and Gentlemen: Gilmário Vemba.
It's like...
Does this fart?!
To me, it sounds like, "OAEI!"
- All at the same time. - It's quick, right? - Yes.
The toys won't jump! This doesn't jump. It doesn't jump!
This is impossible. This is impossible.
I can't believe someone would be able to make all these things happen at once.
Make these toys jump...
I'm gonna get hit in the eye by one of these toys.
Hold on...
[Markl] We will analyze this carefully.
And then we'll get back to you.
- I think if you look at it, it all went at once. - Okay.
Candles blown out, sand falling.
This was spinning, the marbles were rolling...
Farting, or whatever. This was spinning.
And the toys kept jumping...
Obviously. And the ladybug even committed suicide.
You consider it done, yeah?
- Done. - Okay. - Either this is done, or...
- Or I'm finished, here. - Okay.
Thank you, then, Gilmário. Thank you very much.
Oh, Gilmário. We know each other relatively well, now.
I get the feeling that you're more...
Unlike Inês, who very much likes chaos and everything...
You're more methodic. More scientific.
- Yes, but... - This was a good challenge for you.
Science didn't cut it.
Nothing worked, nothing had the same timing.
And the damn toys would jump when they weren't meant to jump.
Always...
- I'm with you. - I'm serious!
I mean, I'm not a skittish person, but those toys...
Out of nowhere: PAH!
Horrible!
Were you the only one who got scared by those toys? That's what we'll see.
I can't stress this enough: This is one of my favourite tasks up to now.
And I want to see more of this hellish juggling!
And you'll see it, because I've got more, yes sir.
Trying to do those 8 things, which actually feels like
358 movements at the same time.
Jessica Athayde, and Diogo Valsassina.
It's just making everything work.
Okay.
What is this?
Is this the sand...?
Oh, no! This is the sand!
Man, really?
They're already lit again?!
It's going really well.
These candles are impossible, do you understand? These candles are im-possible!
This is a lot more...
Complicated than it seems!
To... make all this rubbish go all at once.
That... That's everything! That's...
Oh man, seriously. I don't even know.
Seriously...
[Jessica hums]
This takes ages.
Bye.
- Jessica! - My question is...
- Did ANYONE manage to do this? - We'll get to that. We'll get to that.
Jessica did 10 minutes 34.
- In this... - That's a lot of time! - It's a lot.
- That's effort. - Yeah. And succeeded?
10 minutes 34, that you won't ever get back.
During which you sat there wrangling toys.
- She got 7 out of 8 objects. - 7 out of 8.
The ladybug was still.
Could anyone have managed 8 out of 8? Diogo Valsassina?
Tell me. Did you like the task?
Is this your thing, is this your kind of task, or not really?
Isn't it?!
Man, I think it's like, everyone... It's anyone's task, right? I mean...
Bordering on insanity? Of course! I loved it.
- You loved it? - I loved it, yes.
Shall we break the news to Diogo?
Diogo managed to make everything happen at the same time.
Let's go!
That's right!
[Jessica] Ah, wait, there's a "but". There's a "but".
There's a "but" somewhere!
Oh, Markl? Did you check the... claps?
[Diogo] I CLAPPED!
It- but- they didn't show... But- I... Listen, that- I clapped!
I KNOW that I clapped!
I don't know if it was in this one, but...
Damn! Arrrgh! Son of a...
You only missed one tiny thing.
Which is what this audience now will do!
[Audience applauds]
Very well. Let's give out the points.
- [Markl] Let's do it. - The person that did the least was Toy, right?
Toy did one object in 2 minutes 10.
- Okay... - I clapped, and blew out the candles.
- I'm used to it, at birthdays. - Okay. And then?
Inês, Jessica, and Gilmário did 7 objects.
- Out of 8? - 7 objects... - Okay.
- In? - Inês: 5 minutes 48.
- Jessica in... 10 minutes 34. - Okay. - Yes.
And Diogo... He did everything, right?
He did everything, except not.
- He didn't... He missed the claps. - The final claps. He didn't finish.
And just for that reason...
- Oh, man! Oh, man! - I won't give you the 5 points.
Hey, I'm... I'm... I'm never coming back.
- I won't! - Diogo takes 4 points. Not 5, because of the claps.
7 out of 8. The ones who did 7 out of 8.
We have Gilmário, Jessica, and Inês: 3, 3, 3.
And Toy gets one little point for his object.
4, 3, 3, 3, and a round of applause for our magnificents!
Gilmário's in the lead with 12 points. With 11...
- Jessica... - With the toys! I would have never guessed!
- Ah, so good! - Jessica and Diogo have 11, and then Inês and Toy with 10.
- This is all really close! Really close! - It's beautiful! It's great!
- Let's move on fearlessly to the next task. Nuno Markl, tell me. - Let's get to it.
Many times, this show is synonymous with hard work and suffering, for our contestants.
- Right? - Right. - Right, yeah. Right.
- Even if it's foolish work. - That's true.
We thought that we should offer these people a break, and tell them: "Now, have fun!"
"Better yet... Have fun, as a group!"
Get ready to witness another team task, on Taskmaster!
Let's do it. Press your button...
- Good morning! - Good morning! - Got a sprain.
- Oh, Markl, good morning. - Hello there!
- Hello! - The mail's here, guys!
- Don't they even ring the bell? - Ah?
You read it.
- What? - What?
"Have the most fun."
"You have 3 minutes. At the end, return to the caravan and await your second task."
I loved Jessica's look, at the end.
"Have the most fun", then she stared into space as if to say, "Here comes the bullshit."
[Gilmário] No, it always comes. It always comes.
[Vasco] Simple and efficient, right? "Have the most fun."
Who doesn't like to have fun?! Markl, do you?
I do, but I think that people, generally, would rather have fun
without the forboding threat of a different brief with the second part of the task.
- But sometimes, the second part's the best, you know? - Sometimes it is.
Despite that, these guys had loads of fun.
- We must say so. - I'm eager...
For a demonstration of contagious fun. Is that what we'll get?
- The Taskmaster has willed it; the Taskmaster shall have it. - Let's go!
What's the first fun activity?
[Gilmário sings a Spanish song]
[♪ Hot Butter - Pop Corn ♪]
- Can I do it, now? - Now it's your turn.
I- I've already killed you!
She's dead!
I'll play the flute, then.
I like being picked up by Toy so much!
♪ Oh Inês, who made you? Play that shit in tune again. ♪
[Gilmário improvises a funk song]
♪ Avidness, of having your charms ♪ ♪ Ansiedad, de tener tus encantos ♪ [Nat King Cole, "Ansiedad"]
♪ And kissing your lips once again ♪ ♪ Y en la boca, volverte a besar ♪
[Gilmário improvises a funk song]
Hey, let's play Mikado, now.
SO FUN!
- Do it, now, go on. - MIKADO!
- Get out of here, get out of here. - BLUE AND ORANGE!
So fun!
I WON! I WON, I WON, I WON, I WON!
[Gilmário improvises a funk song]
It was fun. It was.
I liked it a lot!
- Hey, go through here! - Here, here it's good. - On the cobble, it's good.
- Go through here! - This doesn't go. - Don't break the stick. This-
Hey! Scooter!
Done? Good. Damn, finally.
- Come. Speedy Gonzalez. - Thank you.
This was... That was really bad.
It's here.
Well, if it's "Have the most fun" again...
"Repeat every--"
"Repeat everything you did in the first task, in exact order."
- "The most accurate task wins." - [Inês] Fuck!
- "You have 3 minutes." - Everything you did in the first...
"Your time starts when Markl shouts..."
- "His..." - We started with the music bit, right?
- We spun around in circles... - Yes.
Then it was the weapons...
- Yeah... - And then... - Do you remember the lyrics?
Do you remember? Properly?
I went for the flute, and then I played the tambourine.
- That was afterwards. - No, before.
[Markl] Remind me what I have to shout?
- You need to shout your name. - Your name. - Mine.
- Now do it like Inês. - MAAAAAARKL!
They laughed, they played, they had fun.
And then they got into the caravan and got the news:
"Now, repeat all the random stupidity you did, rigorously, in the same order."
- Yes, that's never... - That's never good. - It couldn't be that easy.
Okay. Who's the first team who'll repeat their...
I'll just say it: Chuckle orgy?
It'll be a collective I like to call "Dinoy"!
Diogo, Inês, and Toy.
[Vasco] Dinoy.
- You're gonna take a beating again! - SO FUN!
- Can I do it? - Now it's your turn.
- Super fun. - Ah, so fun! - Look I'll... play the flute.
- I'll play the flute, and the tambourine. - Being picked up by Toy! So fun!
- ♪ Oh Inês, who made you? Play that shit in tune again. ♪ - We're wasting loads of time.
- Am I still supposed to play the flute? - No, you only came out after!
- Toy came out first. - Ah, okay.
♪ Ansiedad, de tener tus encantos ♪
- Hey, let's play Mikado! - MIKADO, DIOGO! SO FUN! - Where's your flute? That was now!
No, I was playing the flute when you picked her up.
- Then let's go, let's play Mikado. - Let's play Mikado!
- MIKADO! IT'S SO FUN! - Go, now, go!
Oh, man, I'm going inside...
Let's go on the scooter!
Here, here's good.
Don't break the stick!
[Markl] It's over, now.
Fuck!
NOW I'm having fun!
[Toy] This task sure was something.
- Great task, wasn't it? - Yeah.
Yes, ma'am.
I suppose it's now time for the Gilmássica Athayemba collective.
- [Markl] Yes, yes. - "Gilmáss...?"
We shall see Gilmário Vemba and Jessica Athayde
- Desperately trying to repeat every step of their first fun-filled dose. - Let's see.
We can do this!
[Gilmário sings in Spanish]
- Was my weapon this green one? - Yes. - Was it this? - No.
- No? - It was this one.
Let me... Don't hit low.
[Gilmário improvises a funk song]
[Markl] Thank you, Jessica and Gilmário, for your fun.
Did you have fun?
It's impossible to trust these guys. I mean it.
- At the end, there's a... sadness in the end, right? An emptiness? - At the time it seemed better, right?
"HEYYY! THIS IS SO FUN! THE TASK'S OVER! ... I'm hella sad."
- [Markl] An emptiness. - Very sad.
- At the time, it seemed like we'd done so much better, right? We were super proud. - [Vasco] Relax.
Team 1, Toy, Inês and Diogo: Incredible.
Team 2, Jessica and Gilmário: Also very good.
And I have 5 points to split between the two.
So, there won't be a tie. I can't award a 2.5.
Very well. I compared the footage of fun 1 and fun 2.
By the way, please, Markl, throw it here to our screen...
- Let's see. - An image...
Here it is. Here, a frame of task 1 and task 2, from Toy, Inês, and Diogo's team.
I must say, that the only difference to the naked eye that I saw was exactly this.
In the first part, Inês has the brief in her hand when Toy picks her up,
and in the second... having fun, partying, and the brief... went down the drain.
But it's the only small thing I see, so congratulations.
- It's a nitpick, so a round of applause... - But it's there!
Okay, but she threw it. She didn't do that the first time.
Now, let's see Jessica and Gilmário's team. I've got something to say to you too.
- Do you? - Hands on the scooter.
Gilmário only uses one hand during the second part of the task,
while he uses both during the first.
- Because I was acing the scooter by then. I didn't need both hands anymore. - Right.
And could I possibly have one more little thing to point out?
- I do, yes sir. Markl, next image. - The weapon's color.
- It's not the weapon's color. - Let's do it, one more.
- It's his jump. - It's his jump with the scooter. You noticed it too?
Exactly at the same time, when you're rapping and going...
[Vasco tries to imitate Gilmário's rapping]
The first time, you lifted the scooter, and the second time...
- [Toy] He couldn't lift it a second time. - He couldn't. It comes with age.
It's not as easy. So...
Just two little details.
After you're 30, when you jump, your knee warns you:
"What are you doing with your life?"
- So I thought it was best not to do it again. - That's true. That's true.
Let's give out points, then!
Just because of the small difference of me seeing one difference in one team and two in the other...
Toy, Inês, and Diogo's team takes 3 points,
Jessica and Gilmário's team takes 2 points.
And congratulations, you were really very good.
Very good, very good.
[Markl] At the moment, leading with 14 points, Gilmário and Diogo,
- and they're all tied at 13, Toy, Inês and Jessica. - [Jessica] You can win, at least.
- Could it be more balanced? Just barely! Very good! - Incredible.
Applause for our Magnificent Five! This is going really well!
On to the next task, Markl.
- Yes, it's time for that task you've spoken to me about. - My God.
Because I know it bothered you especially, didn't it, old chap?
As people will have noticed over the past several weeks,
I suffered quite a lot during this season of Taskmaster.
I would say that everything started here, with three aubergines.
Oh ho!
Aubergines!
Oh, what beautiful aubergines!
This is what people use on WhatsApp when...
I only see these on emojis.
Like this.
If someone looks like this, they must be ill.
This part always scares me a bit.
- I don't like aubergines. - I'm not a fan, either.
"Hide three aubergines in this room."
In this room.
"Whoever can make Markl take the longest to find the three aubergines wins."
What are you doing here, then?
"You have ten minutes until Markl starts searching..."
"...for the three aubergines."
Is it like, "hot, hot!" Or is there no hot or cold?
Can I cut them?
So can I go home?
It'll take you a whole day...
"Your time starts now."
- There it is. 10 minutes. - Okay.
Good luck to all of us.
- Well, good luck! - Thanks, thanks, thanks.
Point made, let's now see five grown adults hiding aubergines!
- Nuno, please, let's go. - Boombah!
If I cut this in pieces... He'll take longer to find it.
I'll get tape... and a knife.
No one here will tell Markl what I've been doing in here?
I can also do it Toy-style.
"What is it? Has it started yet?"
So sweet.
Another one!
He'll never reach up here.
I think I've already won.
[Lamp breaks]
♪ Mariquinha, come with me to Angola... ♪ ♪ Mariquinha, vem comigo para Angola... ♪ [Bonga, "Mariquinha"]
Please, someone help me.
Let's see if this...
- Damn! - Beautiful!
That isn't okay.
Come here, aubergine.
Okay, we've just learned that this doesn't work.
Almost there. Almost. Almost.
Because he needs to find three whole aubergines.
More, more, more pillows.
Maybe he won't see it? You never know.
Will Markl think about this?
Hey, are you guys memorizing where I'm placing these?
He needs to find all of it, right?
I can create some elements of misdirection.
If he can find this one...
It's not just about hiding well, you also need to deceive.
Fuck this!
Man, sorry.
Man, come here.
You're inside this room.
Oh, good, Valsa!
[Markl] Time's up.
I'm kind of suspicious.
You're kind of suspicious?
You're a sneaky rat.
Nice!
Who knew that it would be so funny watching people
hiding aubergines in a limited space,
and breaking my incredibly expensive Chinese lamps?
For you, they broke the lamps... For me, they broke my mind...
Really, man...
Let's see Inês' task.
Hello, cheers.
It's... It's too obvious here.
Hot.
Oh, we shouldn't say if it's hot?
Hot?
Cold!
Uh oh! You're opening that?
- I am. I am. - You'll get even colder!
That doesn't even make sense!
You're trolling me. There's nothing here.
Hey, that's a really good idea, Markl.
Let's see if I could place something here.
- Why are you holding my hand so forcefully? - I just...
That's a drawer.
Okay.
So... Right now, we have...
There's still a lot of aubergines to find.
Look around you a bit, Markl.
Ah! What's this?
Oh no, it's a cable.
Oh, Markl, there's still a lot left!
- Damn it. - You need help?
Sons of a gun, these gloves.
Oh, Markles...
- I need to... - Look, Markl...
- Ah! There's one! - AAAAAAAHHH!
There's one up there! There's a whole one up there!
Markl, it's your eyes! You want to see an aubergine so much that you think...
No, it's an aubergine! There's one on top of the air conditioner!
Did you put an aubergine here?
- And now? - I dunno!
Oh, Markl, Markl, Markl...
Twenty minutes searching for something I hid in three.
♪ Marklé, not everything you see is... ♪ [S01E06 callback]
I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy!
- Can I say one thing? - Yes.
I don't remember where it is anymore.
Go, Markl. Go without fear.
Ah! Right.
- Why? - One wasn't enough, you needed the second one, too.
I'm getting a drink. Okay, Markl?
- You want anything? - I do, I do.
Think about it. I have no issue getting something for you.
This is the worst day of my life.
I forgot to bring one for you, Markl.
Sorry!
Look!
This one's gone. It was found.
Markl, do you want me to get you a Groselha? [redcurrant juice]
I think I'm giving up.
I'm... I'm too exhausted.
For real?
- Giving up? - Yes, yes, yes.
Oh, Markl...
Since you messed shit up so bad, and broke two lamps...
Okay?
Get down here, and start removing piece by piece.
Not here?
What's this?
- Right. - Damn.
Look here.
Ah, there's that fucking aubergine.
Look! You need to show that it's not just me!
Damn it.
I'm sure no one enjoyed that as much as me.
You're sure? Why do you say that?
Because there's no one who has as much fun as me, seeing Markl in the...
Dumps.
- Thanks. - Nice pause.
Inês hid aubergines, and you didn't find them.
- You gave up. - Yes.
I gave up. It was too much.
And I sneezed out a lot of dust on the way home.
- How long did you stay there? - I stayed for...
34 minutes and 54 seconds.
34 minutes, and you didn't even find all the aubergines!
There was some in the cabinet and the lamp.
- And I dug around a lot in the lamp... - Yeah?
But the aubergine was stuck outside of my field of vision.
No problem. You only broke two. It's fine.
- Who's next? - Let's see...
Toy and Diogo Valsassina.
My usual plan is to go from one corner to another.
- Do what you think is best. - Yes.
So you may have used...
Okay.
Ah! There's aubergine in here.
You cut it all into slices?
Hang on. There's some aubergine deep inside.
Oh! Oh!
Hang on. There's a little piece of aubergine.
- Ah! - Hey!
Ah! Okay...
This door here on the back...
For a moment, it looked like part of the mechanism, you know?
Oh, this wasn't like this!
- Ah! - Very good! Very good!
Let me count how much aubergine I've got.
You want to rebuild it?
This task is deeply hateful.
No. Not here.
♪ There goes the aubergine, escaped from Markl. ♪ [Tune: Apita o Comboio]
♪ I already knew that everything would go right to hell... ♪
That one, too?!
- This wasn't my fault... - It wasn't...
- Do I look ridiculous in this? - No, no, you're great. - Okay.
I can already see some aubergine inside of here.
Ah, there's a zipper here.
Wow, that's a lot of aubergine you have already.
Hey, be careful with the glassware. Oh my God.
Far away! Where the sun doesn't shine.
There's almost two, and this is the start of another one.
I forgot that you really like puzzles.
This task is exhausting.
It's exhausting? Serves you right, it's so you see how I suffer.
- Don't knock it off of the ceiling! It's falling! - Is it?
- Look, it must be horrible, the work you're doing now. - It's horrible.
- [Diogo] Nuno, honestly, I... - Two aubergines. I found two.
I found an aubergine! It's wet!
Let's say there are some round slices of aubergine,
which motivates me to keep searching for the other ones.
Two aubergines, incredible.
I already found two aubergines.
Aubergine, ey...
Just looking at all of these glasses, it almost makes me nauseous.
There's an aubergine on top! I can see it now!
Right, this is marvelous!
You start learning, and use those findings later!
Here's the aubergine, the son of a gun.
Okay, I'll...
- You're calling it off? - I'll whistle.
I think this makes three aubergines.
- Okay! - You look so pleased.
- Congratulations, friend! - I'm exhausted.
There's aubergine there.
I thought of the other one, didn't think you'd repeat.
You didn't look at the phone carefully enough.
Damn, this is aubergine!
Wow!
[Markl] Damn it.
- This is revenge, right? - Congratulations.
- Thank you so much. - It's just a game.
- I think I won this. At least... - We'll see.
I won this. At least, I won against you. I feel like a winner.
- I quite enjoyed this. - Hey, look!
- Okay. Bye, Toy. - Bye, Nuno.
For someone feeling empathy for me, he watched me fighting aubergines
for 34 minutes and 45 seconds.
That's how long I took to find the three aubergines.
- But you found all of Toy's, right? - I did.
On Diogo Valsassina's side, you didn't find them all.
- You gave up again? - I gave up. I was really fed up, and really tired.
I took 29 minutes and 12 seconds,
and I couldn't find all of the aubergines.
Well done, Toy and Diogo. Now we just need to talk about two more people.
But, given the duration of those tasks,
I fear that you spent hours and hours looking for aubergines.
We only saw three, and you took... doing the math...
- Over an hour and half. - Over an hour and half, yes. But fate!
Or these peoples' lack of skill in hiding auberines...
was kinder to me, in the next round.
I've looked for these aubergines so many times.
No one's used this yet. No, not this time either.
Ah! Finally.
I'm watching you looking in things that'd be hella impossible to hide an aubergine in.
- Let me reconstruct it. - If I were you, I wouldn't go for that.
Almost one.
If you start looking in places that could barely fit a pastel de nata... [egg custard tart]
Hey, good spot. I didn't think to hide one there.
Doesn't look like anything's up there.
Okay...
A few small wedges of aubergine.
I don't think that any aubergines would fit in there.
It would fit, if needed.
No, no, no.
Ah, yeah!
Ah, right.
Right, right, right.
Now tell me if that fits in here.
Okay, so this means that you didn't...
You didn't cut the aubergines into pieces, right?
I didn't know that I could cut them into pieces.
Ah!
Okay...
- There's almost all of it. - You still need the "almost."
No...
Ah! Ah! Ah!
Ah!
Wow!
No...
Ah!
You put tape here, to distract me?
- That's incredible. - The tape are ideas.
You're an evil genius.
- Is it on you? - It's not on me.
Search, dear Markl, search.
There it is. An aubergine.
Three aubergines. Three aubergines...
Don't forget that if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have found them all.
- Okay. - I helped you.
- I'll keep that in mind. Thanks, Jessica. - Bye bye!
[Vasco] Very well!
Of the aubergines that you found in total, who was the fastest?
The fastest was Gilmário. 12 minutes and 50 seconds.
Okay. And next?
- Next was Jessica... - And then Toy? - ...with 15 minutes 4.
- And then comes Toy. - Very well.
- How much time? - 34m 45s.
Because of that, I'll give 1 point to Gilmário,
I'll give 2 points to Jessica, and Toy will get 3 points.
And as for the people who performed with distinction
in this aubergine task, where you didn't find them all,
Inês and Diogo get 5 points each.
Let's go to the overall score, and we see that...
Before the last task, things are looking this way.
Markl, maths.
Diogo is alone on top with 19 points,
followed by Inês with 18, Toy in the middle with a score of 16,
And then with 15 points, Jessica and Gilmário.
Very good!
I was leading before!
Ai, ai, I just want... I just want to win against you!
- What if we flipped? I'd be in the lead. - I just want to beat you, not anyone else.
Whoever wins the final task of tonight's Taskmaster
will win today's edition of the best show in the world.
As such, I ask for you to get up, get ready,
head to the stage and, ladies and gentlemen,
make some noise for the Magnificent Five of tonight's Taskmaster!
- What will be the last task, Nuno Markl? - I'll give it to Toy.
Give it to Toy. Give it to Toy, Toy, Toy, Toy!
Toy will read. Toy will read. Toy will read-ead-ead-ead-ead.
"Communicate the item on your card to the Taskmaster."
"You may not say anything that sounds like a word,"
"and you may not perform any actions."
"You may only make noises."
- Okay. - "With the mouth."
- Th'moth! - [Jessica] Th'moth.
- We don't want sounds from any other body part. - [Toy] Some communicate with their eyes!
"The slowest communicator in each round is eliminated."
"The last communicator standing wins."
Let's see then. We'll start with...?
- We'll start with Inês. - Me?
Markl, each round has a theme, right?
The theme of the first round is... Animals!
[Vasco] Okay. Inês is the first to start?
Dog!
Turkey!
Is that right? A turkey?
It's Gilmário's turn.
Dog? Wolf?
Wolf?
Peacock?
Formula 1 car!
A tiger, a cat, a...
A... a lion?
I'll just sit down, 'cause I've never heard this sound.
I've never, I don't even know... This one doesn't exist.
"Fox."
What does a fox say?
[Vasco] I don't know...
- It's squeakier. - [Markl] Gilmário has given up on the task, and will sit down.
- I honestly don't know! - Go sit on the bench.
Fox, that's from England. It speaks English.
[Inês] If I had got that...
I'd be pissed if I had got that.
[Markl] Let's continue the same round, with Jessica.
[Vasco] C'mon, Jessica!
Elephant?
Correct, correct.
Now it's Toy.
Dove!
Little bird, parakeet?
Toy has fallen asleep, ladies and gentlemen! Toy has fallen asleep!
- Whale. Dolphin! - Dolphin!
- Correct, correct! - Dolphin?!
- Nice one, Toy! - How do you do a dolphin noise?
- It was great! It was great. - We're missing Diogo from the first round.
- There were actions! There were actions! - Go Valsa!
Little bird, parakeet...?
A...
I don't know what it does!
Shut up!
You're close!
Hamster, a...
No actions!
Ah!
Hamsters...
Fox...
- Squirrel! - THAT!
- IT'S A SQUIRREL! - [Markl] Okay.
It's a squirrel, dammit! What's the noise of a squirrel?
I'll announce who was the slowest in this first round.
And the slowest was Diogo Valsassina.
- Wait, but isn't he already out? - He quit.
And Valsa, you're just a guest.
- No, but I want to beat her. - [Markl] Easy, easy.
I'll leave now, but I want this on the record.
It shouldn't end like this. This is wrong.
- Okay, fine. - I think this is wrong.
- This is wrong! - Damn, a dolphin!
Inês has this gift of making friends easily.
Let's head to the second round. The theme is machines.
- Machines. - Inês.
Tractor.
A car. Motor.
A crane.
It's still the same, Inês.
A horn. A truck. A TIR truck.
A...
I think the best thing to do is to end her suffering right now.
- What where you about to say? - Nothing!
- You were saying? - A nail gun?
You were gonna say that? What's that?
A... a stapler, or...
[Markl] You must be quiet. You can't speak.
- Man, I won't get there, Inês. I won't get there. - You won't get it?
- Leave! Leave! - Dammit!
A drill?
- Right, right. - Leave, please!
- Sorry, sometimes I lose control. - I know. But I love you anyway.
Very well.
So...
Jessica! Let's go!
A train? A locomotive?
Steam locomotive?
The metro?
That's a train.
A washing machine?
- A washing machine? - Correct, correct.
Beautiful!
Mine, at least, doesn't make that sound.
- Neither does mine. - Let's go, Jessica!
Missing Toy.
Hey! Actions, actions! He lost. He lost!
- He didn't do an action. - He's doing an action with his eyes! C'mon!
- It's a... - Markl, he's doing actions.
- No, he's not. He's still. - Markl, he's doing...
- A photocopier. - Yes.
- C'mon! - Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
[Inês] I'll leave!
- Inês will seat here with me! - [Jessica] Your turn, let's go.
I'll leave, but he cheated. Do I leave?
- You leave. - I'll leave, but he cheated.
[Markl] She took the longest.
[Markl] Third and final round!
Thanks.
And the theme... is...
Musical instruments!
Jessica.
- Castanets. - Done.
[Diogo] Holy...!
She'll win it now!
- One to go! - Toy will have to be quick.
Toy.
Harp, a violin.
Xylophone.
She's already won. "Potato chips" isn't an instrument.
No, that's the last one! This is the third!
Oh, man! You took the fourth paper.
- [Gilmário] That one was the food. - [Diogo] It's this one.
I haven't seen it yet. Can I repeat my task?
I believe that's fair.
I believe it's fair for him to repeat it.
- Can I repeat my task? - "Potato chips isn't an instrument!"
Let me just imagine that on your next record, you'll play potato chips.
- Let me just imagine that. - I was dumbfounded by potato chips.
- How was it? - Even so, Toy still fried the potatoes!
Drums...
The... round... ah...
That, that's it. Chicka, chicka, chicka.
[Diogo] Can I say?
- Tambourine? - Yes.
[Markl] Correct.
Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner is Jessica Athayde!
I really wanted to do this one!
Popcorn!
I WON!
Congratulations to Jessica!
Jessica! Jessica! Jessica!
And before we leave, we always end Taskmaster
with the answer to the question: "What have we learned today?"
So: We've learned that we all have problems, stuff that makes us grate.
Erase them with a rubber, or get an iron to make it straight.
Sometimes we steam, the boiling point we almost hit.
We even find ourselves shouting: "But what even is this shit?!"
Bring friends to your house, get insurance against all.
They'll hide some eggplants, and break the lights from the wall.
And we can go back to childhood, without being sneaks.
By just having a party, with slaps on the cheeks.
Ladies and Gentlemen, this was Taskmaster for you all!
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