# TASKMASTER THEME
GRITA
GEME GRITA
Say hello with a handshake !
GEMEM
It was beautiful, wasn't it?
Suck it!
Five points.
This is spectacular.
GEME
It's the happiest day of my life.
APPLAUSE
- Good to see you. MARKL:- Likewise.
VASCO:Good evening. Up there. There too.
You. You, me... Good evening !
APPLAUSE
VASCO:Good evening ! At the end of season 4,
people shouted: "My God. What will become of our lives?"
They quit their jobs in shock. The country came to a standstill, companies went bankrupt.
The gardens have dried up, the undergrowth has taken over.
The streets have been taken over by zombies.
But now everything makes sense again.
The birds are singing, the sun is shining.
The hairy and hairy people, after months of neglect,
leave their caves and now embrace life.
Ladies and gentlemen, life is beautiful again.
We're back. This is Taskmaster!
APPLAUSE
(...)
Next to me, a man who talks, who laughs, who cries, who lives,
who eats, who feels, who just confessed to me
that, in order to be practical and not waste too much time with choices,
he puts on monday five underpants,
one on top of the other, and at the end the end of each day, remove one layer.
When I said that I always wore always the same pair of underwear,
he replied that the network was getting bad
and that I wasn't listening well. - And it was true.
- Nuno, we were having lunch together. - Still.
Ladies and gentlemen, Nuno Markl !
APPLAUSE
Thank you.
(...)
In this season 5, we have two repeaters and two debutants.
Let's get to know them, hug them and applaud them.
She's an influencer, she's a commentator,
she's so proud in her bad temper
and there's nothing cuter than submitting
to a person with such a bad temper a merry-go-round of tasks
which, under normal conditions, she would never do, but she will.
Give it up for Pipoca Mais Doce, Ana Garcia Martins !
APPLAUSE
Next to Pipoca, someone who is already a Taskmaster veteran.
Basically, it's an explosive fusion of thoroughness, agility
and dozens of other bizarre things he didn't even know he was capable of.
He came from Angola, made his home in our hearts.
The man known as Mr. Filadagoda.
Your love to Gilmário Vemba !
APPLAUSE
(...)
We also have taskmaster royalty.
An actress who has already left here with my head under her arm.
I had to ask him to let me go because I was supposed to take the head...
It went viral in the middle of an ocean of shoes. "Is this it?"
She is Gabriela Barros !
APPLAUSE
(...)
A comedian with so many faces and so much personality in one.
Some days he's Zeca Estacionâncio, other days he's Bino.
For us, it's a kind of living cartoon.
His name is Pedro Alves !
APPLAUSE
(...)
And our guest today, little Isabela Valadeiro !
APPLAUSE
Good evening, Ana. Good evening, Gilmário. Good night, Gabriela.
Good evening, Peter. Good evening, Isabella. How are you?
I'm fine, thank you.
Tell me about your relationship with the Taskmaster.
Do you usually watch as a spectator? Did you think you'd like to come?
Or when the invitation came, did you think: "What is this?"
I see it, I like it a lot and I really wanted to come.
Good.
Now will I regret coming, maybe.
VASCO:Thank you for coming. A round of applause for the guest.
APPLAUSE
Nuno, every program starts with an analysis by me
to the objects that these individuals brought from home.
- What were they asked to do today? - Today they had to bring
the thing that most easily make you despair.
VASCO:Good category. Popcorn, what did you bring?
I brought something that irritates me deeply.
Just thinking about it, my eyes start to shake.
- It's... Can you show the image? VASCO: - Let's see.
GEMIDOS
That was the women in the audience who know what I'm talking about.
They're tangled necklaces. When can you undo this,
it's a feeling of empowerment like few others.
-This is the thing that gets on my nerves the most. VASCO:- Very good.
I know it gets on your nerves, but I'm going to ask for a round of applause.
VASCO:For the tangled threads.
APPLAUSE
- Gilmário, what did you bring? - As the Master knows,
i became a father for the fifth time recently.
People always ask: "Does the baby cry a lot at night?"
"No, the baby is calm. The girl is fine."
The problem is the mother expressing milk at dawn,
with that machine, when I'm trying to sleep.
I don't even want to look. Just look, and I despair.
I've thought about moving house because of this machine.
It's the first time I've used it. No baby of mine has ever worn it.
It's not you who wears it. It's your wife. It's just for...
VASCO:Just to clarify.
If it was me, I'd know I was pulling.
- no, it's pulling her. - Markl has already tried it.
MARKL: - I've tried it. - Yes, in a show.
At a Bumba na Fofinha show.
They asked me if they could take milk from my breasts.
I said yes. And suddenly Madalena Abecasis appears,
that I had just met.
MARKL GUINCHA RISOS
- And I let myself go. - But did anything come out?
- No. - Good. I don't know.
I'm proud of in my man boobs.
And you want me to be quiet. Okay.
You'll have your moment. A round of applause for the milk machine
Gilmário's wife.
APPLAUSE
- Gabriela, have you used this machine? - Yes. It also gives me nightmares.
- Did you bring this machine? - No.
I brought something that to this day gives me the shivers.
Just remembering that moment in my life,
words will not suffice. Please, production.
"Is this it?"
LAUGHS APPLAUDS
This shoe.
(...)
And you...
You will be witness of my despair.
- Did you get one of the shoes? - Yes.
This race was so memorable for me.
For those who don't know, it was a Taskmaster race
in the last season in which I participated.
I became a meme. I've never been a meme in my life.
One day I was in Amoreiras and I heard: "This is the one!"
Let's hear it for Gabriela's by Gabriela.
You've come to use...
VASCO:- Pedro, what did you bring? - Can I talk to you now?
VASCO:Now. What have you got ready to go?
I'm much more practical. Imagine that, all of a sudden,
i have a decomposed intestinal decomposition.
They go towards a bathroom and arrive at the bathroom
and after they've all decompressed.
VASCO: - After... PEDRO: - Decomposing.
It's spray-painting anything and everything.
The most desperate thing is to look at this. Go on.
Is it or isn't it? Why not? I'll explain why.
APPLAUSE
There's a tiny leaf of hope,
but we know it's going to go wrong. MARKL: - It will.
Thank you, sir. It's a good desperation. Only one sheet of toilet paper.
Just a little leaf.
APPLAUSE
- Isabela, what have you brought? - I brought something trivial.
- Looking at all these cases. VASCO: - What is it?
It's that thing that happens every day, at all hours,
when you pick up a car.
The traffic light is red. It's green.
- And a horn blows. - It's a classic.
ISABELA:- It's hopeless. - Right after that.
You don't even have time to think and put the first one in.
I don't actually put it in, because it's automatic.
- But there's no time. - We have Isabela to thank.
Knowing about today's race, when the car behind honked,
Isabela went to the back car, which was a 1920s car,
and brought the horn, because Isabela didn't start,
the gentleman in the back began: "Get on with it ! "
MARKL: It was a Mrs. Elvira.
VASCO IMITATES HORNS LAUGHS
- Thanks for the horn. MARKL:- I love it.
APPLAUSE
VASCO:Congratulations.
Let's start with with points 1 to 5.
-Isabela, a kiss. You get one point. PEDRO: At least you get a kiss.
VASCO:- A kiss. You get a point. PEDRO:- You're very lucky.
- "One kiss. You get one point." - Because the others did their best.
Can I win something too? Nothing, right?
- Just Pedro's toilet paper. - And the milk machine.
- And some boots. - Okay. One point.
Isabela gets a point, but a kiss.
You saw my irritation live. You saw the whole process.
ISABELA:- My brother talked about it. - See? It's talked about
PEDRO:We're in season 5. I don't know what happened.
A year has passed and people are still talking.
ISABELA: - The mythical Gabriela.... - That's what I want to hear.
I think the milk pump still comes in handy for your wife.
You get two points. I'll give...
Popcorn, take three. The roll roll of toilet paper takes four.
And the "This is it" is well deserved. Five points for Gabriela.
APPLAUSE
ANA:- What a scandal. VASCO:- It's well deserved.
(...)
But now you don't want to win to get rid of the shoe,
to see if the despair calms down.
Let's start our weekly trip to my estate in the Amora area,
to see how the magnificent five performed in the tasks
given to them. What do we start with?
We start with something I know you enjoy very much, a gymkhana.
Whoever takes a good gymkhana away from me, takes everything away from me.
I know. We've had in Taskmaster.
For example, the one involving Madalena Abecasis
speaking italian inside a garbage can.
It's true. "Frenti ! Ribenti the balloons with the unhitis !"
And Cândido Costa speaking in French, while pushing Toy.
- "Recuperré !" - Right. Classics !
This time, there were no boxes, there were no foreign languages.
It was a race in which for once in the Taskmaster's life,
we wanted them to put water.
# CALM INSTRUMENTAL THEME
PEDRO:Is that it?
You arrive here exhausted. You've already walked seven kilometers.
Is this already part of the race?
Do I look good? I brought my shirt to go to the restaurant on Sunday.
GABRIELA RI
"Get this beach ball across the finish line."
"Only water can touch the ball."
Only water ? Only water can touch ?
- "The fastest wins." - "Time starts now."
Only water can touch the beach ball. Fucking hell.
APPLAUSE
A gymkhana, a ball, a path towards gymkhana immortality.
And it could only touch the spherical the chemical substance
whose molecules are formed of two hydrogen atoms
and one of oxygen.
I've just faded all my scientific knowledge about water.
I followed Humanities. I have other skills.
Don't bother me. Stop it.
Only water could touch the spherical bastard.
I had to overcome obstacles to the finish line.
VASCO:- Who do we start with? - With Ana and Gabriela Leitão Barros.
VASCO:- You're Leitão Barros, aren't you? - I am.
A collective I like to call Gabrana Leitia Barrins.
- It made sense. - Three names.
GABRIELA:The water?
Here it is!
MARKL:You're choosing the mode.
Of course. Do you think I was born yesterday?
# JOYFUL INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
CENSORED WORD ANA:You belittle me.
#
What art.
#
Let's go !
#
GABRIELA YELLS
(...)
- I won! That's what you said. - I thought.
Glory! Hold on. That's it!
MARKL APITA
Poor guy.
- Mic drop. MARKL: - Bravo.
Goodbye. So long.
- Super simple. Almost dumped. - I was expecting difficulties.
I made a gymkhana with my hands, I put bricks and everything,
and you do this with one leg on your back ?
I don't trust it anymore. I'm sure it's coming now...
"Attention, they have broken 380 rules and will be penalized."
I know how it is. I'm not going to be happy.
- Whose imitation was that? - That's what I was going to ask.
It's the collective I call...
VASCO: - Popcorn, did it go well? - I don't know.
I'm sure it went well. You're not stingy people.
You're good people.
Those scenes that nowadays are made. The hearts.
- It gives you arthritis in your fingers. - They're not hearts. She pays.
That money I gave you before the program started.
Taskmaster will be honest. He didn't see anything wrong with the evidence.
- Do you talk about yourself in the third person? VASCO: - As a soccer player.
- If Jardel can do it, why not? - Of course.
Let's talk about times. Markl, let's start with Gabriela's race.
Gabriela did three minutes and 28. And Popcorn did seven minutes and 12.
VASCO:Well done. Let's hear it for both of you.
PEDRO:- I already have. - I'm confident.
We saw that the women were practical and effective.
Did the men think the same way?
Let's see the gymnasts Pedro and Gilmário.
PEDRO: Christ!
This is easy. Here's a hose.
- No more speed? - This is going to suck.
RUNNING WATER
Really?
I have to go see what's going on.
How funny. It had to come a long way, didn't it?
The water doesn't have enough pressure.
I'm going to need some white tape.
You don't have to come after me, I'll get away with it.
See if I can create more pressure.
RISOS
SPEAK ENGLISH See ?
It's a very rare species of mango tree.
The best tape in the jungle.
# CALM INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
RISOS
SUSPIRA
# CALM INSTRUMENTAL THEME
Poor guy!
What happened?
Let's see how this goes.
Where are you going? Inside. Stubborn.
I think this is reducing the speed of the water.
That won't work either.
# HAPPY INSTRUMENTAL THEME
I'll give it a try.
#
How is the water coming out here now?
#
I need more pressure.
A trip over the viaduct. Come on!
I got off to a good start. I was... "I'm going to win this!"
And suddenly, I don't think so.
The ball will have to draw a horse!
GRITA
Come on!
I think we're going to be here all day.
RISOS
Passed.
GABRIELA: No!
Come on, nina !
CENSORED WORD
It looks like they really tested that. They looked at the distance of the hose.
I think I can replace it now. I have have to reassemble the contraption.
MARKL BEEPS Suck it!
APPLAUSE
GILMÁRIO GEME MARKL APITA
APPLAUSE
With this pee pressure of 40 years, impossible.
That doesn't get the ball anywhere.
APPLAUSE
MARKL:40 years old is super-offensive.
Gilmário, I'm 53 and it's an incredible jet.
RISOS
Pedro, you started very well, but you realized
that hose needed white tape.
Yes. White tape is my great friend in this program.
I don't understand why. With them, the tap was normal.
GILMÁRIO: - They did something. - They went to cut...
They turned it and changed it. They changed the speed of the pee.
I think they cut the water pipe.
MARKL:- It's called intelligence. - It was sabotage.
No. All you had to do was turn the hose and you had several levels of pressure.
Okay, but I don't usually turn the hose. Sorry about that.
- It's dangerous. - Yes, it is.
VASCO:Gilmário, picking up on your phrase...
You started well, but then, quoting Gilmário, something happened.
- What happened to you? - The hose got old.
I started with a hose
and it was increasing by five years with each meter.
I got to a point where it seemed the hose was 60.
- It was a pinga-pinga. VASCO: - It was a pinga-pinga.
But the tests were done. That's the most important thing.
We reached the end two hours later, but...
The longer the hose, the lower the pressure.
CHUCKLES
- Markl, tell me about times. MARKL: - Let's do it.
Are you still asking me?
"The longer the hose, the lower the pressure. Isn't that right?"
- Who do you take me for? - No...
It's safe to say that they took longer than they did.
It took them a while. Pedro took 17 minutes and 44 seconds.
Gilmário took 21 minutes and 14 seconds.
VASCO: - Nevertheless, a round of applause. - We are together.
APPLAUSE
Gabriela and Ana, without difficulty, managed to take the test.
Pedro and Gilmário, with a little more difficulty,
got there too.
One of the things I've noticed in the corner of my eye
is Isabela Valadeiro's reaction. - I'm sweating.
Putting his hands on his head and looking like:
"My God, I don't want to see." But I'll ask.
Nuno, what can you say about Isabela's race?
I'd rather not say anything. I'm not going to make any preamble.
I'm not going to do a tease. I'm not going to create suspense.
I'll just remind you of something somewhat important in the race.
Only water could touch the ball, Isabela.
VASCO:It's important that you point that out.
- What could I touch? - Only the water.
- It has a justification. VASCO: - Let's ask the audience.
- What could touch the ball? PUBLIC:- The water !
That said, I'm going to press this button and let's see Isabela Valadeiro.
Only water can touch ? What's that like?
"Only water can touch the beach ball."
"The floor is waterlogged. Only water can touch..."
Just water.
Oh my God! I don't know! The floor is full of water.
It could be the floor. The floor with water. Right?
Could be. There's water in here. There's already water here.
That's it. Goodbye.
RISOS
GRITA
Look, there's water. And it's dirty.
RISOS
Water only.
# COMIC INSTRUMENTAL THEME
That's it, isn't it?
There, it was just water and air.
RISOS
That's it. I've reached the finish line. Isn't this the finish line? Arrival.
Is it done?
Only water can touch this beach ball.
It touched water and air. I can't get around that.
It's here. There's water. That was wonderful, wasn't it?
I feel like I've already won.
It's done, isn't it? That's it. It's done.
Bye bye. That was nice.
APPLAUSE
MARKL:There's one thing be said and that was incredible.
We had an early lunch.
- That was good. ISABELA:- Can I say something?
- Of course you can. - I haven't seen the hose yet.
It didn't even cross my mind.
And how much water do we have in our bodies?
RISOS
It's an interesting argument.
APPLAUSE
We have to think about this. Plus the water in your hand.
GABRIELA:I don't think you're not going to make it.
How much? 80 plus 20 makes 100.
If you said to me "my hand is called Caramulo
"and my left hand is called Fastio", I even thought of that.
They're both Monchique.
LAUGHS APPLAUDS
Just for that, since we're all water, we could make a wave.
Starting with Isabela and moving on to the audience.
One, two, three.
RISOS
- It's to make a wave, Pedro. - I'm the siphon.
The wave is over here. It stayed here.
The intention was good.
APPLAUSE
- Isabela takes a point. MARKL: - One point for Isabella.
- I am water. MARKL:Two points for Gilmário.
Three points for Pedro, four points for Popcorn.
- And five points for Gabriela. VASCO: - Let's hear it for all five.
APPLAUSE
VASCO:- Nuno, send the points. - Let's go!
VASCO: At this point...
MARKL:Gabriela achieves a full in these first two races.
- She's on ten points. - Isabela too, on the other side.
MARKL: It's a fact.
Next in line are Pipoca and Pedro with 7 points.
And Gilmário with four and Isabela with two points.
VASCO:Give it up for our five.
Oh my God.
Next task.
What dish comes to our table in this tasting menu ?
Let's serve a Hitchcock well-done
with mash by M. Night Shyamalan.
And to follow, a David Fincher 12 years old,
aged in French of French Gordan Pele.
Interesting. And for dessert, what do we have?
Fruit salad. I've used up all all the suspense references.
- Shall we get to the suspense? - Let's go.
# CALM INSTRUMENTAL THEME
- Welcome. GILMÁRIO:- Big yard.
There's a barbecue.
PEDRO:Hello, Mr. Nuno. I brought these friends camping.
- Are you in a good mood? - Say it! What do you need?
It's there.
- Are you ready? - Yes.
"He writes and stars in a final scene
of a very suspenseful episode."
- "You have 30 minutes." - "Time starts now."
How do you keep a person in suspense ?
- It's a mouthful. - That's it. A hand over the mouth.
- Who's sucking on whose lips. ISABELA:- And he disappears.
- You and Markl are naked. - I can't get naked.
- Not even alone. - Take Markl's clothes off?
- That would be even weirder. - It already looks like this.
- There's something missing. There's juice missing. - Me with a trumpet.
The trumpet disappeared. You had an audition.
You play in the orchestra.
Only someone athletic could do that, which is you, Gilmário.
There's the idea of "let's screw the black".
Things come out of the trumpet. Imagine that.
She wants the protagonist to be the trumpet.
"Things come out of the trumpet."
I was thinking about something. Or a suicide attempt.
That's no fun at all.
- It's not just the instrument. - I know! There's a fourth element.
A three-door cupboard.
- Who do you think Ana is? MARKL: - Let's pass the poll.
Suddenly, a Julian comes out from another cupboard.
- Who's Julião? - Nice. See?
ISABELA: - That's a good one. - Now I've got you.
My idea wins!
I don't think so. It reminds me of the CNE in Angola.
- They never show the minutes. - You can check.
Nobody's waiting. And the next episode is...
SPANISH GEME
So he took the thing and in the end...
RISOS
"Baby, come watch the next episode! The guy is something!"
For all the public to see, that's how it's done.
- How's that? - Confirmed.
- Gilmário won. - I always get confused.
APPLAUSE
VASCO:Democracy. I think it's good.
The world knows that in "Taskmaster" there is comedy.
Every now and then there's drama.
But I thought it would also be nice a little suspense.
Yes, and as a team, they had to think, write
and star in the finale of a episode full of suspense.
Remember when we used to go to the club a few years ago
and read the synopses of the movies on the back of the tapes ?
It's like the synopsis of a movie from the video store...
This is how I want you to present the Popcorn and Gilmário episode.
It would be something like that...
On a beautiful afternoon, a couple of friends,
being particularly nice and stupidly charming,
realizes that something has to be done.
A case of life and death where one second could be too late.
- What a day... - This, yes, finally...
Now that's life.
We don't have to be doing some stupid test.
- Want some? - Okay.
- You look like you need to. More. - Thank you. Thank you. That's good.
- Are you sure? - Damn.
- Here we are. A toast. - That's it.
- Here's to us. - To us, but more to me.
- Right. - Look me in the eye.
- It's fresh. Very nice. - Yes, it is.
- What happened to Gilmário? - He was here earlier.
You know he's got that African heat inside him.
- Of course. - I said I was going for a swim.
I've had that thing since Taskmaster started.
- What do you mean? Today? - Yes, it was earlier.
The pool is being washed and it's empty.
- Oh my God! - This is a catastrophe!
- We have to leave ! - We have to go now!
DISTORTED VOICES:Gilmário !
# SUSPENSEFUL INSTRUMENTAL THEME
DISTORTED VOICE:No !
DISTORTED VOICE:Watch out!
DISTURBED VOICE:No !
DISTORTED VOICE:Don't jump! Gilmário!
DISTORTED VOICE:No !
APPLAUSE
(...)
GABRIELA:They went for simplicity. VASCO:- That's good.
This here... At 2am, Netflix, we don't wait for the next episode.
Who needs to sleep? Next. To find out what happened.
PEDRO:And one scene I noticed that's brutal.
The voices have to do with the movement.
VASCO:That's right.
- Yes. - You don't want it all either.
No. I'm just drawing attention to details.
- We have an artistic option here. - Yes.
PEDRO YELLS And he...
Congratulations. Excellent story. Well done.
APPLAUSE
Now there's been a lot of debate between you.
You need a fourth element. And the trumpet.
We've seen a lot debated.
All of Isabela's suggestions would make a trumpet.
VASCO:- I noticed that too. GABRIELA:- I was obsessed.
- She wanted to use a trumpet. VASCO: - Did they?
Let's go to the synopsis of the episode of Gabriela, Pedro and the guest,
Isabela, Mãos de Água, Valadeiro.
Love, drama, jealousy, three characters and a shed.
A Mexican-Brazilian production with the special participation
by Tony Ramos de Miragaya.
MARKL: Let's see.
GEMIDOS
TROMPETE
PEDRO:- Penélope ! - "Qué pasó, cariño ?"
- Hide. ISABELA:- "Cariño" !
- "Entonces ?" - I arrived early today.
- Qué bien. - I didn't go to the gym.
- "Gostosón." - Wow.
- A hitchhiker in his underwear and bra. - For you, "cariño".
- What are you doing there? - Haciendo la cama.
In this cold, in the garden ?
I thought we could look at "el cielo de noche, cariño".
I really like it when you talk like that to me.
- Your Spanish... - "Todo para ti, cariño."
ISABELA PLAYS TRUMPET
- What's the deal, Penelope? - Nothing.
PEDRO:What is this business?
GABRIELA:- "No !" - Who is this girl?
"Es el amor de mi vida" !
GEMIDOS RISES
Penelope ! The love of your life is me, people.
- "No !" - Will you trade me for a trumpet?
"SÍ ! Te pido por favor !"
"No !"
"Now..."
YELLING
- "Quién es ?" - Julião, what are you doing here?
"Julión ?"
RISOS
- "Quién es Julión ? - Julión is my trumpet.
RISOS
"Trompetón ?"
GABRIELA GRITA
SHOTS
ISABELA PLAYS TRUMPET
SHOTS
APPLAUSE
(...)
Julião ! My trumpet!
I need to know more. There are things that have not been...
How did you meet here? Was it a night of drinking?
It was... We want the past. I wasn't expecting it.
It was an evening of wind instruments.
RISOS
You know that on the trumpet you have to put your tongue, don't you?
- What? - To get sound out.
- Ui ? - The trumpet is played with a tongue.
- Considering that we have here... -Her fascination with trumpets.
VASCO:- We're going to Isabela. PEDRO:- The trumpet had to come in.
Why did you choose Brazilian and not Castilian ?
We want to sell this series to several countries.
For platforms like Amazon, Netflix. We're ahead.
To have a greater range.
The country has to know where this fascination with trumpets.
I used to play the trumpet. But I was never great instrumentalist.
I had to put it into action and for a big audience.
I saw the trumpet when they showed me the facilities. I thought it might...
It had to be used. What I liked most I liked was when Julião enters
and you hide behind the door, behind a trumpet.
"Nobody can see me here. I'm behind a trumpet."
I must confess that I felt like to watch one more episode
from this "production" "El Trompetón no Bararcón".
Don't worry about it. I can't show you the whole episode,
because it won't be until next week, but I have scenes from the next chapter.
VASCO: - Do you? MARKL: - I do.
ISABELA:Holy cow.
# SAD INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
TIRO
APPLAUSE
VASCO:- I thought they were going to kill you. - If that's not auteur cinema.
GILMÁRIO: I thought Markl was playing José Rodrigues dos Santos.
"They're all dead."
LAUGHS APPLAUDS
Congratulations. Excellent race.
Congratulations to the five of you. I wanted suspense, they gave me suspense.
I think it's fair that Isabela, Pedro and Gabriela have three points.
Gilmário and Ana take two points. A well-deserved round of applause.
VASCO:One of the best races ever. Congratulations.
With these points I've just given, how is our leaderboard?
MARKL: It's as follows. Gabriela in the lead with 13 points.
Pedro with ten, Ana with nine, Gilmário with six
and Isabela with five points.
VASCO:Give it up for our five.
APPLAUSE
And we're off to the next task.
What do you have to tell us about the upcoming race?
I have this to say.
Life is a garden and it's up to us to water the flowers.
- The task will be in the garden. - It's in the laboratory.
- It involves watering. It has flowers. Bravo. - Sort of. There are. Fake ones.
# CALM INSTRUMENTAL THEME
Cristina Caras Lindas, how are we today?
I've eaten rose petals, like a crazy person.
There are some that are edible. There are in fine restaurants.
Flowers for a flower.
It's nice. It looks like Almodôvar.
These are real, aren't they? They are.
- No, they're not. MARKL: - I think it's cloth.
It's stuck. Why is the plate stuck?
"Put all the water in the pot."
"If you spill any of the water out of the dish,
without entering the pot, you are disqualified."
This water ? For the vase. No...
"You can't leave the lab." Wait a minute. What is that shoe?
- It's the beach. ANA: - That's what I was going to ask.
- Were you wearing espadrilles? - It really relaxes your feet.
- And it's for another reason. - I got distracted.
- They don't have laces. - That's hard enough, isn't it?
MARKL: - I'm of a certain age. - "The fastest wins."
- Can you say the final sentence? - "Time begins now."
That's it.
I don't understand what it is to do. What is this crap?
- What are matches for? MARKL: - That now...
APPLAUSE
I'm sure Markl put on those shoes and someone said:
"I'm not filming your feet. Rest assured."
Ana says: "What shoes are those?" "Damn!"
I love those shoes. Just slip them on. It's beautiful.
RISOS
It costs twice as much, doesn't it, Grandpa ?
We once again had a race in which the water
as in the first task today, water is...
RISOS
- I love that. - It looks like something dirty.
- I'd do it in slippers. - Water is essential in life.
And it's essential in this task.
Not a drop of red H2O could be wasted.
Not a drop, not a milliliter, could fall on the table.
The water in the dish had to pass
as quickly as possible into the vessel,
where the flowers were,
and the plate, as you can see, was stuck to the table.
We're very stupid. And they couldn't leave the lab
to get some accessories that could help with this task.
VASCO: - Not a milli... - Not a thousand...
But the question also arises now.
Why would they want to leave the laboratory
to pick up some accessory
when they had a wax stick and sticks that make fire ?
For some reason, they were THE objects that I left on the table.
Now I ask you... Does anyone understand why?
Is it? Let's see if Gilmário has noticed.
RISOS
I had an idea. That idea... As in children.
No ? You've never done that?
Light the candle and put it in here.
The vase sucks. Yes. You've never done that here?
It's worth seeing that magic happening.
Wait.
# SUSPENSEFUL INSTRUMENTAL THEME
I did this a lot when I was a kid. I don't know if it will work.
Angola's water is one thing and another thing is water from Portugal.
The pH changes.
When we smother the fire, due to the lack of oxygen, it goes out.
Creating a certain vacuum, the steam pulls.
I think the science teacher would explain it like this.
# SUSPENSEFUL INSTRUMENTAL THEME
Is it?
Do you feel the water being sucked in?
GILMÁRIO GEME
(...)
GABRIELA MOANS IN AMAZEMENT APPLAUSE
Science. This is not a spell.
It's not African voodoo. It's science.
They put this here on purpose.
They knew that with some intelligence, people get there.
It was beautiful, wasn't it? Five points. Attention, Master, five points.
Whatever you say, five points.
GILMÁRIO RI
APPLAUSE
(...)
I just want to know what was that...
It was a kind of "kimbandry" at that moment.
Summon all my ancestors. "Send water!"
People think it's science, but it's a spell.
Let's see if your companions got there too.
You quickly arrived to the right reasoning.
- Was that really meant to be? VASCO: - Of course.
- There may be other ways. - Yes, but this one is valid.
But having left the candle there and the matches
was so that this mechanics could be applied.
You applied it very well. In how much time?
In two minutes and 40 seconds.
APPLAUSE
Taskmaster was so happy with this race.
Nuno, tell me that everyone understood...
Maybe with more time, but you see why
that I left there the matches and the candle.
- All ? Of course. VASCO: - What is it, Pedro?
Of course you all understood.
VASCO: - Who are we going to see next? - We're going to see Ana and Isabela.
I want to draw your attention to the following.
At one point, Ana blows where she had never blown before.
And Isabela, at some point, decides to do something
which is more like a spiritual to the dish with the water.
It all sounds like a dream. Here's Popcorn and Isabella.
Come on, you, buddy.
I'm thinking... It's putting the wax on the plate.
To become a jelly-wax.
I don't know if this is here for anything useful
or if it's just a distraction maneuver.
Getting to know you as I am already beginning to know you
vote for the distraction maneuver.
And now what going to happen? Nothing.
It doesn't move at all. But I don't even know if this works.
- No. - What does this give?
- A beautiful effect, isn't it? MARKL:- It's beautiful.
- So, that's it. Thank you, sir. - It's bold.
I want to give the five points to someone else.
Hold on! This is in shape...
CENSORED SPEECH
Mother !
I'm making this up, but I'm going to the natural process of things.
No ! This is going to suck.
Hold on! There's a clue here.
Putting a candle... What if we put in this liquid
and light the candle...
Now, I don't understand is if this is here...
- There's the drawing. - It was in there.
... That's it.
If I heat this up does it solidify in any way?
ISABELA SCREAMS IN AMAZEMENT
Candle on the plate. This had a message.
Since this is glass, I'm afraid the heat could shatter it.
ISABELA:- Candle on the plate... MARK:- Right.
Vessel in the sail ?
How silly.
But not like this...
Now to see magic happen ?
I'm moving away. Are you going to stay there, brave one?
Beautiful, what's happening.
This is a miracle.
RISOS
- This is spectacular. - This is incredible.
- It's the happiest day of my life. - It's mine, too.
MARKL:This is incredible. Miracles of science.
- I have to applaud this. - What a mess I've made.
So I lost.
Anyway, you've created a beautiful television show.
MARKL:- Thank you, Isabela. - Thank you, me.
The water is not all inside the vase. Plan B.
MARKL:Are you using the roses as a kind of sponge?
Yes.
MARKL:What are the chances of starting a big fire?
I hope a lot.
I don't feel that this is much better than the other one.
BOTH:- No. - One day I'll share
with Almodóvar and he's going to make it into a movie.
- I think so. - Good continuation.
I'm sorry that it was so short.
MARKL:Risky, but interesting.
ANA:It's gone.
Thank you.
But I didn't get dirty. That's what was worrying me.
The effort was there. Nobody can say that...
The effort was there and for a moment I believed.
Take this. Then pass it on to your boss.
Right. Thank you very much.
APPLAUSE
VASCO:Almost.
It has to be said that the first time I saw a miracle happen
was in Isabela's race. Hence my extreme enthusiasm.
What a miracle of science.
I particularly like how people who already have a career
and suddenly they have the look of a five-year-old child
and they say: "It's a miracle".
Do you know what I had in mind?
I thought that was the preparation of gelatin.
And I thought I'd take that to the fridge.
It was going to take a little longer, but it would solidify.
I think it's better that you didn't give that explanation.
MARKL:Gelatine-wax was a great expression.
- You thought that... - It was the preparation.
The sugar with the water, went into the fridge and solidified.
- And you could pass more easily... - And then I'd pass with my hand.
- Popcorn, you tried petals. - But before that,
I tried the same process as Gilmário and it didn't happen.
He must have really used water from Angola,
because I tried... - I used body water.
MARKL:Your water has gone bad.
But you achieved the goal, not to get dirty.
I was worried.
Everything was new. The sneakers were new...
I didn't come to ruin clothes. That goal has been achieved.
We only have to see the races of Pedro Alves and Gabriela Barros.
And I ask you, Nuno, you decided to combine the two into one,
why ? Because they did the race in the same way ?
No, Vasco. I put them together because they're both very romantic people.
Pedro lit the candle to set the mood.
Gabriela has decided that dark is good.
VASCO:-Don't you remember? - I don't remember.
I'm going to light the candle to create a romantic atmosphere.
MARKL:Okay.
CRY OF HAPPINESS
The light.
I'll try to make a straw with this.
On paper, it might work.
- Old woman... MARKL:- Do you want to turn off the light?
I want to.
MARKL:It reads much better.
RISOS
That's disgusting.
MARKL:It fell out a lot. A lot fell out.
GABRIELA:Light it again.
People know there's someone at the switch back there.
But it's more stylish this way.
Well, Markl... I get it. Don't tell me any more.
MARKL:Sounds like a treasure hunt.
I'm disqualified, am I not?
You can always try the various ways of doing this.
I'm going to try. This is a matter of honor.
RISOS
PEDRO SUGA
MARKL:Damn.
If only there were a candle so you wouldn't burn your hands.
Got it.
# CALM INSTRUMENTAL THEME
MARKL:Okay. I hadn't thought of that one.
PEDRO:Do you like the idea or not?
MARKL:I thought it was beautiful, because I wasn't expecting it.
Yeah, you see?
MARKL:I have to see this happening.
I manage like this. Candle on the plate, vase on the candle.
PEDRO SUGA
TOSSE
RISOS
(...)
PEDRO SUGA
MARKL:- Okay. - Hold on.
Little... Little one, come here.
This isn't doing anything here.
MARKL:Oh, my God.
PEDRO SUGA RISOS
# CALM INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
RISO
- Beep. - Can I ?
GABRIELA: Yes. MARKL APITATES
MARKL:- Nothing dripped out. - No.
PEDRO SUGA RISOS
Okay, okay. That's good.
- It turned out to be a great moment. PEDRO:- Do you like it?
- Was it a cuttlefish? - Could be.
See? PEDRO ARROTA
RISO
LAUGHS APPLAUSE
(...)
- That was such a big burp. - I don't know where to start.
Popcorn said: "I didn't give up. I tried, I tried, I tried".
And you tried so difficult. So many ways.
I finished sucking.
And sometimes it turns out to be a great solution.
I passed the liquid into it.
Too bad you'd already spilled a bit.
- But you saw the task through. - Yes, I did.
Gabriela realized that there was a hidden message.
You didn't really understand what I meant.
Nothing. I saw it, but I didn't understand anything.
- You've started to do something... - Valley on the plate, plate on the candle.
Then I started saying that in a loop.
- And then you gave up. - And then I gave up and said...
It's done.
Something spilled in Gabriela's race?
- From plate to table? - It's been cleaned.
MARKL:Gabriela didn't spill. She did it in 6 minutes and 12.
And Pedro lost quickly, but that suction is to be commended.
VASCO:Let's hear it for the suction and for Gabriela's test.
I left everything on a clean plate.
So, only two people will score.
Five points for Gilmário, four for Gabriela
and the others, zero. VASCO:- Well done.
Let's hear it for the scorers.
Adding Gilmário's five points and Gabriela's four,
how are things going now?
MARKL:Gabriela in the lead with 17, then Gilmário with 11,
Pedro with ten, Ana with nine and Isabella with five.
VASCO:Give it up for our five.
GILMÁRIO:If you don't lose any more you've already won.
Have you seen it yet?
This is going very well.
The next task, what do we have in front of us?
- Do you appreciate figures of speech? VASCO:- Do I?
Whoever takes away a classic synecdoche or a metonymy takes everything away from me.
So, what about alliteration, do you like it?
I like alliteration, especially with the letter T.
- Do you know what we're going to see now? VASCO:- What?
We have the reckless taskmasterians, trying everything
with such tenacity to fully triumph in the task
with ink on the tola. Suck it, Shakespeare!
# CALM INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
- Hello, Markly ! - How's it going?
In this outfit how does it look?
Impeccable.
PEDRO:Do you know what I look like? Those guys... The sulphators.
- I'm only missing the sulphating machine. - You look just like you are.
Before you open the envelope I'm just going to ask you to squat down,
here, next to this pedestal.
- So we can both fit on the plane? - No. You'll understand.
I just need you to give me a hand. You're quite tall.
- What are you going to do? - Well...
Will I be crowned ?
What are you putting me in?
Are you peeing?
ANA GROANS IN DISGUST
RISOS
- Markl... - You can read it now.
Now I only have one eye.
"Paint the target with your ink."
"You can only step on the red stones."
"And you have to step on all the red stones."
"Also, your hands have to be below your waist
during the entire task."
"The fastest wins."
My rich boy.
Did you say "time begins now" ?
No, I didn't. It's so good here.
- A lot of ink is flowing. - The weather starts now.
APPLAUSE
Markl, important things about this race.
Yes, sir, important things.
Until they reached the target they could only step on the stones...
In other words, those red marks, and they had to step on all of them.
Always with hands below the waist.
This task included two school subjects:
Visual Education and Physical Education.
Because, as you'll see, these people have done a lot of squatting.
The number of squats does not count in the evaluation of the race,
but I think it's nice to share
that these five people did 140 squats.
Let's hear it for the 140 squats which don't count, but congratulations.
APPLAUSE
- Markl, are you a "squat" person? - Am I a "qu'agacha" person?
- Are you a "squat" person? - I'm a "qu'agacho" person.
- How much do you squat? - I'm a strong "qu'agacho" person.
- It's true. - I didn't know you squatted so much.
Did you start "qu'squatting" what year?
Since I was very young. Always "gu'squatting".
RISES
I don't know what we're talking about anymore.
Let's start by looking at whose evidence?
By Pedro Alves and Isabela Valadeiro.
- How ? The hands below the... - Yes.
- From the waist. That's it. - That's it.
You put this here... Do you think I'm 3.20 m?
MARKL:Yes.
PEDRO ASSOBIA
It doesn't count, does it?
What fell on my nose?
What the fuck is falling? Yellow... I can see it now.
# JOYFUL INSTRUMENTAL THEME
Yes.
#
MARKL:I feel like my hands are raised too much.
#
- Look how cute. - Are you enjoying it now?
Now it's nice.
Now... So ?
- What about the rest of the scenes? - You need to sort it out.
- Do I have to solve it? - You have to.
# FUN INSTRUMENTAL THEME
What a shell!
The hands should be below the waist.
The hands suit... It's below.
- Do you have a plan? - Yes.
RISOS
It doesn't work. I was trying to to pick up several stones,
take and then make the journey. How am I going to do this shit without...
I'm trapping myself.
# FUN INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
RISOS
#
MARKL:- It's too steep. - Hold on. Take it easy.
#
- I see feet outside the... - You're already in.
I had already set this one, it almost doesn't count.
#
Almost there, Isabela.
- Okay, now this is the target. - Almost there. These are all that's missing.
Which ones here?
You've got to be kidding. Is there more?
RISOS
- Why didn't you tell me? - It's funnier that way.
Don't worry about it. Watch me go.
Now you're not fucking with me.
Stones in the path I keep them all.
RISOS
What the hell?
- The arms, they should be... - I wouldn't spoil it.
I draw attention to the hands... Try to keep them there as much as possible...
- Always here. - Okay.
This is a good gym class. At squat level...
You leave here a new man.
They still say that Alentejans are slow.
# HAPPY INSTRUMENTAL THEME
MARKL:Artistic.
- And now it's time to paint the target. MARKL:- Right.
Now it's worse.
MARKL:-I see hands raised very high. - The hands.
I smell a case now.
#
MARKL APITA
#
Fuck off!
Come on! Look, he's all yellow. What a beauty!
MARKL BEEPS MARKL: It's done.
- Give me a hug. - No. Leave it alone.
I still have to record.
VASCO:Guys who don't give up. That's right.
APPLAUSE
Isabela, it's hard to get so close to the target
and suddenly Markl says: "These are missing".
It makes me want to kill my friend.
It makes you want to squeeze. A squeeze.
- But then it went well. - It went well.
- Stones in the path, keep them... - I keep them all.
- One day I'll paint a target red. - That's right.
Pedro, you didn't know you had paint all over you.
- No. - No. You just understood
when it started pouring... "What's this yellow stuff?"
I thought it was a dove with something spoiled.
"It's still going to hurt me".
But then there was the desperation to get to the place,
thinking I was making a great scene
and then there's someone middle-aged
who says: "These are missing". - "These are missing here."
I spent the rest of the week with hip problems.
It even gave me a cramp in a place I've never cramped before.
- On the inside of the groin. - Incredible.
- You did 30 squats. - It was a crossfit class.
VASCO:- How many did Isabela do? MARKL:- She did 27.
Very good. And in terms of time?
In terms of time Pedro took seven minutes and 33.
- Isabela, nine minutes... - Nine minutes?
APPLAUSE
We started by watching Pedro "Kandinsky" Alves
and Isabela "Frida Kahlo" Valadeiro. And who's next, Markl?
Vasco, let's see Ana "Paula Rego" Garcia Martins
and Gabriela "Viera da Silva" Barros.
Crouching down, trapping yourself and shitting all over your garden.
RISOS
The hands are rising a little above the waist.
I didn't remember. It didn't occur to me.
# HAPPY INSTRUMENTAL THEME RISES
#
Where is it stalling?
This has stuck.
MARKL:- Is everything going well? - Yes, yes, yes.
That's going to be artistic.
GABRIELA BABBLES
Mother...
MARKL: That's complicated. I don't really understand what happened to you.
Also, no, but I feel that I'm going to stay here forever.
What's next, Markl?
MARKL:Perhaps it would be better proceed to collections.
Stupid.
- It's dripping a lot. - But I don't know what's stuck.
MARKL:Okay.
I get it, Markl.
# CALM INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
- What's your plan? - I don't have one.
Am I supposed to take this with me?
MARKL:You have to get to the target and put paint on it.
Right, but considering that I'm stuck here...
# SUSPIRA
Okay.
#
RISO
Help me. I don't know what to do.
# FUN INSTRUMENTAL THEME
GABRIELA SPEAKS ENGLISH It wasn't clever.
#
ANA:And now I have to paint the target.
I didn't want to be the bearer of bad news.
I think there are slices missing. You didn't step on all of them.
#
CENSORED SPEECH
An alternate.
There you go. The agility is incredible.
I have an enviable legs.
MARKL:Right.
#
MARKL BEEPS Ready.
Don't move.
- And now, the big moment. MARKL:- Of course.
GABRIELA:I won!
MARKL WHISTLES APPLAUSE
- They thought it would go badly. - We all did.
I beat them.
I didn't know. Only when I got to the Wardrobe.
Popcorn thought at one point that she had to say goodbye to her children,
because I was going to be stuck in that thing for the rest of his life.
Forever. I didn't know what was going on up here.
I just stood there and this mono...
Which is a mono that's here.
What did he do? Nothing.
- He let me be there... - I was giving moral support.
... In a squat and trying to get out of it.
And when you didn't try to let go you were able to let go.
You were there... And suddenly, you're there.
- Gabriela Barros, good race ? - Good race.
- You had a lot of cookies. - I had a lot of cookies to give away.
There were plenty of cookies.
Sad news that's when I got to the closet
and I realized it was dirty at the back,
because I thought I'd come out of it unscathed.
"I didn't dirty anything."
It was only when I got undressed that I realized: "It's all dirty in the back."
Tell me about times, Markl.
Popcorn made it in seven minutes and 40.
And Gabriela, in seven minutes and 11.
VASCO:Congratulations to both of you. Excellent times.
APPLAUSE
But in this, Gilmário "Van Gogh" Vemba is missing.
Yes, Gilmário "Van Gogh" Vemba, a painter whose work
gives the observer a clear understanding
of the pain that torments him.
- Pain in the soul? - No, knee pain.
A lot of pain. It had to be that day.
Nice passing, Gilmário.
# HAPPY INSTRUMENTAL THEME
You're dripping.
Wait a minute.
- I can get blocks here... - Nobody says no.
There's a foot outside the red zone. You have to...
- Do I have to be here all the time? - Right.
Always like this.
Okay.
I don't know if my idea will work.
# JOYFUL INSTRUMENTAL THEME
Just today my knee is not good.
PEDRO:- There he is, in the back. GABRIELA:- All happy.
- All happy going to the back. GABRIELA: Preparing the news.
Later today.
GILMÁRIO MOANS IN PAIN
MARKL YELLS
- What is it? - There are three here.
Great pig!
GILMÁRIO:Markl, don't do that. Really?
I feel guilty because of your knee.
Man... I've come so far.
Fire!
It hurts just to look at it.
Where are the three?
If you can't move your knee I'll have to live with that guilt.
You are.
- There are no more hidden ones. - Okay.
Good amplitude.
# CALM INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
MARKL:Ready.
MARKL APITA
- Can I take this off now? - I think so.
I apologize in advance. I'm not that person.
GILMÁRIO SCREAMS IN PAIN
Markl, I can't move this knee.
RISOS
- Who pays, RTP or you? - It's the state, the taxpayers.
Taxpayers ? I can't pay myself.
- I also contribute. - It's also true.
You have to get the money somewhere else. Enough!
VASCO:- How's your knee? - It was painful.
That day I had a very bad knee.
I had played ball the day before
and since we didn't play well I've been kicked in the knee.
I fell badly. After 40 your knees aren't the same anymore.
The fold no longer works properly.
And on the day of that race bending my knee was torture.
- How many squats did you do? - 38.
38 ! I like to emphasize one thing...
The honesty when Markl says... And you felt the shame.
When he says: "These are missing" and you say, "Don't do that".
I was feeling my knee inflaming.
- And Markl says: "No, come". VASCO: "There's more", and you went.
You could have said no, but you went all the way.
I can never disappoint the Master. I go where the Master says
and I went to step on those three...
PEDRO IMITATES SUCKING UP
It's called sucking up. That's what you're doing.
It doesn't even look like you. Sorry to break it to you.
VASCO:The points are what they are. Nothing will be changed.
Gilmário did it all in nine minutes.
VASCO:Give it up for Gilmário. Well done.
- And on to the points. VASCO:- Send points.
One point for Isabela. Two points for Gilmário.
Three points for Popcorn. Four points for Pedro.
- And five points for Gabriela. VASCO:- Well done.
- Points for the screen. GABRIELA:- I like it.
VASCO:How are we doing?
MARKL:In front Gabriela with 22 points.
Then 14, Pedro. 13, Gilmário.
12, Ana. And six, Isabella.
VASCO:Give it up for everyone. Don't lose heart.
Nuno, next race, what do we have now?
I don't know if the country is prepared for this.
I really don't know, but there's no other way to put it.
Today's program doesn't just have a team race,
but two, two team tasks.
Two team tasks ! CM alert !
There are two team tasks. There are people crying with joy.
There are fans on their way to the Marquis. Couples are making love.
And you can keep doing it,
but at the same time watch this which will be nice.
I can't do it. I can't even do it with music.
Only with instrumentals. Things with lyrics distract me.
- Are you starting to sing? - I'm starting to sing.
"Panpipes. For love it's all panpipes.
And you don't find yourself doing "panpipe" with your mouth ?
No. It's just there like... IMITATES PANPIPES
Hold on. Don't press the button yet. But the...
IMITA MARKL
- ... get excited about... - Create a certain atmosphere.
It can't have lyrics. Lyrics, I start singing.
VASCO:- Has that ever happened to you? - It has.
# CALM INSTRUMENTAL THEME
PEDRO:We haven't started yet and I don't like wellies anymore.
- Hello, hello! - Hi. How are you?
Hello there!
(IN SPANISH)I don't know what happened. Is everything all right?
(...) What are we going to do?
I would like to start by asking you
if you would please put these buckets on their heads.
THEY SPEAK SPANISH
I wanted to ask you if you would let me hook some things on my body.
GABRIELA:- Yes. ISABELA:- Yes, sir.
PEDRO:It looks like I'm vomiting into the toilet, but the other way around.
MARKL:Get your buckets out.
"Complete the tasks and put the bucket back on your head."
"One of you has to stare at a teammate
all the time of all tasks."
"Another one of you has to shake his head
and smile all the time of all the tasks."
- Like this? MARKL:- For example.
"One of you can only scream."
One of you is going to have to do two of these things.
I can look or smile. Shouting doesn't suit me.
GABRIELA:- Me neither. - I'm going to have to shout.
ISABELA:- I can smile. - Do you want to smile and shake your head?
MARKL:- You can never stop. - Okay.
GABRIELA:- And I have to look. MARKL:- Which one?
For him.
I can look and smile. My teeth are big.
Smiling is easy for me. Isn't it?
But I can't read tasks, because if I do, I'll stop looking at you.
- I have to read it to you. - Yes.
ANA:Screaming.
You have to count on this. Don't be alarmed.
"The fastest wins.
"Time begins when Markl blows his whistle."
MARKL APITA
VASCO:I really like this one.
APPLAUSE
I'm looking forward to it. A team race
that forced them to do certain things while they were doing their job.
For the avoidance of doubt,
one of the elements had to stay looking at a teammate.
Another had to smile and shake his head
for the entire time of all tasks.
And the other one, whenever he spoke he had to shout.
In total there were 12 tasks, the 12 labors of Hercules,
and one of the tasks would be done more than once.
That's right. All explained. I'm looking forward to seeing this.
Let's start by seeing who?
Let's start with the with two members,
Ana Garcia Martins and Gilmário Vemba.
And Gilmário had to smile, shake his head
and always looking at Popcorn while I was doing everything.
I just want to say one thing. At some point in the race
I genuinely thought that we had lost Gilmário.
And that we would be sued not just by your family,
but for his entire country for having spoiled a national treasure
as Gilmário Vemba. - I ask: is Gilmário all right?
I don't think he ever was. Here we go.
Let's go ! Read the task !
"Do a total of of 20 squats."
One, two, three...
18, 19, 20.
"Smell the living room door." He shakes his head.
"Smell the living room door." I'll give you this to smell. Smell it.
Shake your head.
Is it a door? Is it a room?
ANA:Are you looking?
Smells very good.
Why were you like that?
- Very good. MARKL:- Smells like what?
It smells like wood. Smells like wood!
"Write a message..."
(YELLING)"Write..."
"... a powerful message on the board for the other team."
He can't write. He has to look at you.
ANA:"Go ahead, friends." I said "go".
What are you writing? What is that?
MARKL:- You are... ANA:- You are...
But go ahead.
"Greet each other with a handshake."
There are repeated tasks.
Make your buckets look like your faces.
Gilmário, are you watching?
Look at our faces!
MARKL:He doesn't want to his eyes from you.
Is that good?
Right.
This is horrible.
ANA:- Head ! MARKL:- The head.
Greet each other with a handshake.
"Tell each other something that you have done
and regret it. I got married! And you?
- Me too. ANA:- Several times.
Your unconscious.
"Have a bowl of cereal in the lab."
The laboratory is here. And where is it?
We have to get the bowl of cereal.
And now we put...
I was going to ask if we put the cereal or the milk,
but they've sorted it out for us. That's good.
How wonderful!
Papa more. You need to fill up. Eat more, son.
To extend. More. Give it to him. No ? Head.
- We've lost Gilmário. - Smiling. More cheerful.
- Is it over? - Is it over ?
He didn't say that this is over.
I'm just asking the question, if it's over.
But things are missing?
Markl says that there's no shortage of things.
RISOS
ANA:What is it? I don't know.
ANA BALBUCIA
Why are we putting it in our heads? Was it necessary? Is it here?
Complete them all and put the bucket on your head.
Done.
I think I've created the right image of someone having a psychotic break.
Yes. Possibly you were really having it.
I think with this I've ruined my image.
No... Where has it gone?
Go away. You need to rest. Thank you.
VASCO:Bravo.
APPLAUSE
It was a straitjacket and I was ready.
And the worst part is that I still had to remember Popcorn
of some of the things we had to do in the race.
Shout.
By then, I didn't even know if that was laughter
or some kind of demonic scene. - You were possessed.
The worst thing is that I passed to Popcorn.
Out of nowhere, she too...
"No, that's me. Do something else, Popcorn."
But it was good.
Popcorn, what do you regret?
- I was really scared of Gilmário. - I thought so too.
There was a moment when I was on the floor on my knees laughing,
because his face...
I couldn't get up from laughing so hard.
Because his face was actually very comical.
Neurotic.
You laugh at sick people.
My stomach hurt from laughing so much at this race.
Markl, did you do all 12 jobs?
They did it in 12 minutes and 57 seconds.
Very fast.
PEDRO:It wasn't bad. This guy is way ahead.
And it's time to see the team,
where everyone had only one thing to do.
Yes, let's see how they did Isabela Valadeiro,
Gabriela Barros and Pedro Alves.
Taskmaster's latest of Taskmaster in this program
is made by a collective that I like to call Isabridro...
... Alresdeiro. VASCO:- Well!
MARKL BEEPS Go ahead.
- "Greet each other with..." - You have to shout.
- I'm reading. MARKL: - You have to shout.
"Greet each other with a handshake."
Hello! Is it good?
I can't do the scene without really squeezing.
How's it going?
My task is done. Take yours now.
Let's smell the living room door. Come on!
Smell the door of the room. What is the room? Is it the one out here?
- It's at the end. PEDRO: - Come on!
Is this it? I'll smell it.
She smells good.
PEDRO YELLS
When you speak you have to shout. But you don't have to talk all the time.
If I'm talking, do I have to be shouting? You could have told me.
Do a total of 20 squats, soldiers.
LAUGH
(...)
How many is it?
Ten, 11... Why is he doing this?
He's stroking a gazelle while crouching down.
PEDRO: - 18... - 19, 20.
"Greet each other with a handshake handshake" ? Wasn't it already? Already.
How are you?
Again. I think I've seen you today.
This one's gone.
"Write a powerful message on the board for the other team."
Who smells the bed doesn't snore.
- Who smells the bed? - No snoring.
We leave it to of each one.
I feel like a stalker.
I've never spent so much time looking at someone.
"Have a bowl of cereal in the lab."
We have to get her from the kitchen.
Come on, in front of me. I can only look at you.
Paparoca.
There's a scene here, isn't there?
RISOS
# HAPPY INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
RISOS
- That's nice. - Make sure she's dying.
We've lost Isabela.
- Is that it? - Eat it ! Eat it !
Eat.
"Make your buckets look like your faces."
LAUGHS PEDRO PLAYS DRUM IN BUCKET
(...)
LAUGH
MARKL: - Can I blow the whistle? ISABELA: - Yes.
MARKL APITA
- Was that all the envelopes? - Yes. Yes.
Did you write "that smells like milk" ?
ISABELA: "Who smells..." Yes, it was. I forgot the M.
The bed doesn't snore. And now take this.
PEDRO: Come on, Gabi!
APPLAUSE
A powerful message. "That smells like a bed..."
VASCO: The bed smells doesn't snore.
- Is that an expression? - If it smells, it doesn't snore.
It's an expression in his house, in his land.
VASCO: - I've never heard it before. MARKL: - Neither have I.
I stopped snoring when I started smelling the bed.
It was a therapy that I did.
It was like a family of crazy people. Starting with the new "mai".
That it was only there like that.
And then the couple where she's in love with him,
but he just shouts... "Well?"
Don't look at me like that.
There was a glitch, did everything go well?
Their race took 16 minutes and 36 seconds.
However, one task is missing.
-That piece of paper that fell out of your suit. - It was a handshake.
And Isabela said: "We've done it".
It was the proof that was repeated several times in several envelopes.
This missing test means that I have to unbalance the scales
for Gilmário and Popcorn.
So in this race three points go to Ana Garcia Martins...
- Just ? They didn't finish the race. - They didn't finish...
ANA: - You haven't finished the test. VASCO: - You have more points.
I don't think so. They should have even less.
- Cruelty. - What a scandal.
They didn't finish the race and they're only one behind us ?
Gilmário, say something.
I'm an immigrant.
RISOS
They didn't finish the race.
MARKL:Gilmário doesn't want to get trouble.
VASCO:Two points for Gabriela for Pedro and Isabela.
And that's three points for Pipoca and Gilmário.
- Scandal! GILMÁRIO: - Scandal.
CRIES OF DISPLEASURE
Fair enough.
My colleague Ana Garcia Martins is right.
- We finished in less time. - Less time.
We did all the tasks that were there. And there were only two of us.
They finished in more time... They ignored evidence.
The handshake, "we've already done that".
Sent to the ground. Disrespectful.
And they're only one point behind than us ?
Send the points for the general classification.
Before the final studio test
how is the ranking ?
GABRIELA: I'm still winning, everything is fine.
MARKL: Gabriela ahead with 24 points.
Tied with 16 Gilmário and Pedro.
Then Popcorn with 15 and Isabela with eight.
VASCO: Give it up for everyone.
Why go to the studio test? We'll give the prize to Gabriela now.
VASCO: This means, and it rarely happens on Taskmaster,
we already have a winner, because before the final race
Gabriela is already in front
and Gabriela is the winner of today's race.
But there is a test. There's a final test.
I know.
There is a final race that will give five points to the winner.
Five points that are important for that entire season,
because in the end one will be crowned
as the winner of season 5 and takes home this bust.
Let's hear it for our five who will now take the stage
for the final of the Taskmaster.
APPLAUSE
(...)
Nuno, let's go to the last task. Five points are always important.
- Who will read the final task? - Isabela, our guest.
VASCO:Give it up for Isabela Valadeiro, our guest.
- Can I open it? VASCO:- Of course you can.
- And read it out loud, please. ISABELA: I'll read it.
"Put the medallion on your chest. You can't take off your raincoat
or break the box. The fastest wins."
Wait ! Repeat !
Nobody says anything to anybody, is that it?
Which medallion is it? It's hake, medallion of...
- Wait ! Reread ! - Reread?
GILMÁRIO: I, as a foreigner,
there are words that don't fit in the same translation as Angola.
It's good to say what the medallion is.
It says "chest medallion".
"Put the medallion on your chest. You can't take your raincoat off
or break the box. The fastest wins."
MARKL: Let's do it ?
MARKL APITA
Damn !
What a tonic! 1 euro ?
What do you have that I don't have?
- What are you finding out? - I'm not out of the woods.
GABRIELA: Why are they fast? What I have here...
MARKL: You can't break the box. I remind you of that...
ISABELA: - Damn it! - Has Pipoca found the key yet?
- The key to this ? - Why am I not...
- Damn! - Is it another key?
GILMÁRIO: Another box.
ISABELA: Really?
MARKL: We have a person with the medallion around his neck.
Gilmário Vemba !
PEDRO: Wait a minute! It won't be the same.
GABRIELA: Did it stop or not?
VASCO: By the way, keep going. Everyone try to find the medallion.
Let's go! Let's do it!
Where's the other one?
GILMÁRIO: Put the medallion on your chest.
Yes, Gabriela! Go on! Squeeze the orange!
MARKL: Second place.
Ana Garcia Martins, Pedro...
ISABELA: Where are you?
MARKL: Gabriela already has. Isabela is still there struggling.
- Have you all finished? - Yes.
This time tomorrow see you here.
PEDRO: Isabela, don't you want vitamin C?
Tell me where your key is.
BOY: - It's in the orange. - In the orange, all right.
No, it's not. Yes, it is.
It's good, the orange.
VASCO: Isabela Valadeiro !
MARKL:The key was in the tangerine.
GILMÁRIO:I could win.
The winner of this final race and who gets five points...
Give it up for Gilmário Vemba.
Is this money for us?
Is the money for us, too?
But the winner of today, let's hear it for Gabriela Barros.
Thank you.
APPLAUSE
Your points are my points.
Before we leave the answer to the question
which I always put at the end of each program,
what did we learn today from this "Taskmaster" ?
Take your hands off your chin, don't feel sorrow,
look, your hands are not made of water.
Connect the hose, don't touch the ball,
you look so sexy with paint on your head.
When they stick a bucket up your ass
remember, the bed smells doesn't snore.
And a candle and a tube might work.
And in Mexico they all died, because of the "trompetóne".
"Taskmaster! See you next week.
Go get it! Go ask.
Is this it? Is this it?
Adaptation and Subtitling RTP - Adapted Content