# TASKMASTER THEME MAFALDA SCREAMS
GABRIELA BURPS
They do everything to benefit Gilmário.
Am I not a genius?
# TASKMASTER THEME
My ex-husband!
MAFALDA SHOUTS GILMÁRIO POPS HIS LIPS
# TASKMASTER THEME
It's because she's a woman.
It's over! Class is dismissed!
APPLAUSE
(...)
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
Roll out the red carpet for the stars
of this Golden Globes gala of Stupidity and Uselessness,
which, in common with that legendary SIC event,
only shares the award category. Just look at this category.
A gold-plated version of my head.
A head that in its original form is lined with gold inside.
- It's all gold! - Not literally lined with gold.
VASCO: - Why? - It would probably imply
health problems and inability to present a TV program.
It's metaphorical gold of intelligence, wisdom,
and, above all, of great modesty.
MARKL: - Of course. - Thank you for that.
Welcome to another episode of "Taskmaster"!
APPLAUSE
Next to me, a man
was just confiding in me that the reason he has dogs
is because with the excessive amount of work,
he doesn't always have time to feel a human tongue.
And touching the tongue of other animals,
sometimes, is the best there is.
- Nuno Markl! - Thank you.
PUBLIC: - Markl! Markl! - Sometimes, it's more practical.
VASCO: That's right. And before my brown eyes,
who are these five wonders of the modern world
who are an accumulation of sympathy, intelligence,
with a touch of vanilla, French oak,
and, above all, WD40?
People in this studio, applaud, please, Pipoca Mais Doce,
Ana Garcia Martins.
APPLAUSE
Next to you, Gilmário Vemba.
APPLAUSE
AUDIENCE: - Gilmário! - That's it!
VASCO: Already a winner of a season, Gabriela Barros!
APPLAUSE
AUDIENCE: Gabriela!
Make some noise for the extraordinary Pedro Alves!
APPLAUSE
AUDIENCE: Pedro!
And the guest tonight, Mafalda Creative!
APPLAUSE
- More! - Mafalda brought her fans.
VASCO: - Good evening, Mafalda. - Good evening.
It's true what I'm going to do. We talked on WhatsApp a while ago,
when I found out you were coming and that you had accepted this invitation.
I asked about the reaction at home. What you said struck me.
My father is a big fan of the show and when I told him I was coming,
the first thing he said to me was: "Always look under the table."
"Spoiler", I never looked under the table. I don't even remember what I did.
I don't know anything. It's the pressure, the time,
Markl's useless face looking at us. He doesn't help us.
In the beginning, I felt there was a friendship between us.
I felt that something beautiful was being created,
but then you didn't help me and I had to assert myself.
- That's what's going to happen here. - Yes, sir.
You also said that your father said:
"I'm so proud of you."
Finally. He never tells me that.
So many years making videos dressed as a man
and only now they value me. It's really sad.
VASCO: - Welcome. - Thank you.
Pedro, Gabriela, Gilmário, and Ana, let's start with this.
The first points of each program are awarded
according to the objects brought by these people
and which aim to satisfy a certain desire of mine.
Right, my dear Taskmaster.
Always aware of the rules that you yourself created.
What did I ask these five individuals this week?
You asked them to bring something that doesn't get the respect it deserves.
Ana, good evening. I'll start with you.
What have you brought that doesn't have the respect it deserves?
I brought an object that has fallen into disuse to my great sadness,
because it did a lot for the Portuguese man,
which is a waist bag, commonly known as a "fanny pack",
commonly known as a "mariconera" (derogatory term for a fanny pack).
And it honors the Portuguese man with his furry belly.
It was a success in the 80s and has gone downhill since then.
It's useful for a person to put a sandwich, their Mini, change.
It's useful for a lot of things. I want the "mariconera" back.
VASCO: - Do you wear "fanny packs"? - No.
But you're waiting for other people to wear them.
I'm waiting for someone to step forward so I can follow.
GABRIELA: - But I wear them a lot. - Okay.
Your guy is now going out with a "fanny pack."
- I think it's great. I support it. Yes. VASCO: - You support the "fanny pack"?
I'll go a little further away, to see the reactions.
An applause for Ana's "fanny pack".
APPLAUSE
- Gilmário, what did you bring? - My dear Taskmaster...
I brought something that resulted in an almost philosophical debate
with someone of extreme intelligence, my 8-year-old son.
He said "a rock". People don't respect rocks.
I started thinking. That makes perfect sense.
The rock has a symbolism that should be more respected.
When we build something, we lay the first stone.
It's always a great advance. It was that stone that eliminated Goliath.
It's in the Bible. Sometimes a stone was once part of a house.
It has a story to tell.
To start a house, you need stones
to make the base of the construction. I believed my son and said:
"Son, you're right. The stone should be more valued."
Whoever doesn't value it, try getting hit with one on the head and you'll know.
MARKL: - I was moved. - Thank you.
APPLAUSE
Very emotional.
- Gabriela, what did you bring? - I remembered you.
It didn't cause an argument at home. But I think of you in my free time.
My God.
This guy could make more use of this. That's it.
Didn't you just have a fifth child? That's it. I think...
Young people who are at home, who are here in the front row,
this is something we shouldn't let fall into disuse.
It's not just about the children we're making week after week.
APPLAUSE
GILMÁRIO: Postpartum trauma.
- Pedro, what did you bring? PEDRO: - I brought something
that is valued less and less,
especially by those who have a license and drive a car.
Sometimes, we find ourselves in the middle of a dark road,
windy and rainy, and we have a flat tire.
And there's always a spare tire. It's what saves us at that moment.
- Less and less... - What?
PEDRO: ... people think about the spare tire. It exists.
Nowadays, cars no longer have a spare tire.
Nowadays, the spare tire is not part of the lives of people
who drive a car and save someone in any dark place,
with the right to have a werewolf appear.
But the most important thing was when there was a spare tire,
no one ever remembered it,
because on the day they needed it, it was flat.
- Just to say "I exist." That's it. - Thank you, Pedro.
APPLAUSE
Mafalda Creative, what have you brought?
Today I brought a work of art that doesn't get the respect it deserves.
This work of art was made by me in the fourth grade.
Please, production, I did one of my best works
in the Drawing class. Here's my face kind of...
You get it. Impressionism. I'll read the caption.
I made this "drawing" at 9:15 when I was crying.
It says "Satisfactory" there. There's also a back. Production, show the back.
This was two drawings in one. Me crying again.
I made this drawing when I was crying more than ever.
MARKL: But there's a smile here.
I smiled, but I was still sad. In the fourth grade...
It must have been the first time I was vulnerable in my life.
A child expressing themselves so much. Does this deserve a Satisfactory?
MARKL: - It's shocking. - Do you think it deserved a better grade?
MAFALDA: - At least a B+. ANA: - It was because of the "drawing".
You had 15 minutes and you kept writing badly.
It wasn't a Portuguese test. It was a drawing evaluation.
- Look, how cute. - An applause for Mafalda.
APPLAUSE
Let's give scores. I'm going to give...
GABRIELA: Think he's going to have a sixth child.
Mafalda, your trauma continues. You get one point.
- It was really good! MARKL: - He's going to leave here sad.
- Gabriela... - No! Don't say it!
Don't lose Control. You get two.
VASCO: - Did you see what I did? MARKL: - It was amazing.
Maybe, you're being a bit Durex.
LAUGHTER APPLAUSE
- A little Harmony between you. - We've exhausted the brands.
Gilmário gets three points with his stone.
- The tire gets four. - Not bad.
Because the "fanny pack" has to return, five points for Ana.
APPLAUSE
VASCO: One, two, three, four, five.
Having said that, I wish to be entertained, my dear Markl,
with a team challenge to start things off.
A teamwork exercise
where we can see these people suffer in the wet.
Right. I don't know about you, but I think sometimes we look
at our group here almost like gentle birds,
gentle baby birds,
and as much affection as we feel for them,
we also want to see them fly. VASCO: - Fly, I ask?
When I say fly, I mean run, jump.
- To where? - Out the gate.
# SOFT INSTRUMENTAL THEME
GILMÁRIO: Here I go, here I go
Hello.
GILMÁRIO: Should I jump here or do I have to go all the way around?
Save yourself. Go the most... Right way.
- Do you want me to read now? MARKL: - Not yet.
- I'll just stay here then. - Just stay there.
Do you think there will be a lot of physical energy expenditure?
Are you telling me to save my energy?
MARKL: Viva.
MARKL: - It seems like someone is missing. - Two people. There are two stages.
- How are you, friend? MAFALDA: - I'm fine.
Here comes your teammate.
Gilmário: Gabriela, where are you? You're going to pass where you shouldn't.
She should lose points. I don't know what there is to gain.
MARKL: You can position yourself on top of that platform.
- And read. - And read the task.
PEDRO: Read the boss's letter. See what he's telling us to do.
Attention. "Leave through the farm gate,
triggering the alarm the fewest number of times possible."
The farm gate is that big green one.
When you do the course, you'll realize which is the gate.
GABRIELA, GILMÁRIO: Okay.
"Every time the alarm goes off, you have to restart the task.
You can only step on the stones."
MARKL: - Which are papers. - "Stones" that define the course."
Every time the alarm goes off, we have to start over.
"The time starts now."
APPLAUSE
Let's get to one of the things I like most about this program.
It's that kind of task where we only reveal the rules
and explain everything here in the studio,
after they've exhausted themselves on my farm
trying to figure out how on earth to play this.
What can be revealed? Whenever the siren sounded,
they had to return to the starting point.
The question was what made the siren sound. It's simple.
The siren sounded whenever they were more than five seconds in silence
and whenever they said words starting with the letter P.
- Seriously? VASCO: - How didn't you figure it out?
The first team to try, in an extremely confused manner,
to figure out why on earth the siren was going off
is made up of Pedro, Ana and Mafalda,
a collective that I, with some reluctance,
call Pedanalda.
Let's go there. Let's see what happens.
# RHYTHMIC INSTRUMENTAL THEME
ALARM SOUNDS ANA: So?
- What did I do? - It's backwards. It's counting.
- Slowly. - We have to go slower.
- Let's try lowering ourselves. - Don't touch the yellow ones.
ANA: I touched this yellow one and it didn't trigger anything.
- What if we go low? MAFALDA: - One, two, three.
MAFALDA: Half-ducked. Come on. I'm going to fall.
- Are you wobbly? - It's done.
- Can we go up now? - We did it.
ALARM SOUNDS - "Wait". - Again.
Let's go.
- Really? - Hold on. Where is it?
ALARM SOUNDS MAFALDA: It's these pigeons.
One, two, three.
ANA: When it's time to jump... ALARM SOUNDS
Maybe we're doing something wrong.
“Exit through the farm gate,
“triggering the alarm the fewest number of times possible.
“Every time it rings, you have to restart the task.
“You can only step on the stones.” - “Stones”.
Why are there stones of different colors?
- Should we try jumping the color? - Whenever we see a color, we jump.
- We jump to the next one. - Okay.
- That's it! Let's go! PEDRO: - It's going to ring again.
MAFALDA: I'm going to break my foot. ALARM SOUNDS
CENSORED WORD Mafalda!
- It wasn't me. Let's start again. - Neither was it us.
I don't know if they have a defibrillator. I'm already feeling an arrhythmia.
- Let's try it. - Skip the colors.
PEDRO: Didn't touch it. "Wait" there. ALARM SOUNDS
The clit is here.
MAFALDA: - I went low and... - "The clit is here."
- It must be something so basic. MARKL: - You guys are giving too much of yourselves.
- Maybe it's not supposed to give so much. - Are we supposed to crawl? I'll go.
- What if it's one at a time? - Do you want to try?
- Go, without fear. - We trust you. Go!
"Wait" there. ALARM SOUNDS
- Son of a... - What is this?
MAFALDA: Look. He's really good.
Very similar. ALARM SOUNDS
- Is it here now? - It's on that one.
# RHYTHMIC INSTRUMENTAL THEME
MAFALDA: Ana, go! Save us! Run!
It's because she's a woman. ALARM SOUNDS
MAFALDA: - It was there! Let's go, Pedro. - Should I step on it, or not?
ALARM SOUNDS
- What did I do? - What happened now?
I didn't touch any color, neither did you. Pedro, did you touch the blue?
- I touched it. - Shut up, Pedro.
PEDRO: Maybe it's a color that only reacts to me.
Don't touch any of them. I'm not touching any.
Ana, touch the yellow. Let's continue.
Pedro, skip that one. ALARM SOUNDS
What did I do? Now nobody touched any colors.
MAFALDA: - Look. - Didn't touch it now.
- This is random. - I'm starting to think so.
I'm not going through here. ALARM SOUNDS
PEDRO: - How much time do we have? MARKL: - It's until it works.
- Until it works? MARKL: - Yes.
Don't you feel it here? My ass is going to look really good.
- I'm already here with an Anita. - Go for it.
Can you please stop playing around?
- We apologize. - "I'm working."
I'm going to pull up my hair to see if I get more Wi-Fi.
When it rings, we stop and see what's happening.
- Do you want to do that? You look pretty. - Let's go.
- One, two, three. - I have more signal like this.
PEDRO LAUGHS Do you think it was the hair?
# RHYTHMIC INSTRUMENTAL THEME
GILMÁRIO: Speak!
ALARM SOUNDS WORD CENSORED
What happened?
- Let's do a scene. MAFALDA: - Do you want to hold hands?
- We start with the same foot. ANA: - Right, left.
Right, left.
SHOUTS OF JOY
Here, Markl! You see? After an hour and a half, we did it.
- It was the hair. - It was very difficult.
PEDRO: If the bagpipes ran out of batteries, I don't want to know.
- I was rooting for you. PEDRO: - You were?
APPLAUSE
I want to know what you thought you did right
so that the test was finished? Do you have any idea?
- Was it right, left? - I thought it was for talking.
I thought the batteries ran out in the sensors that made the bagpipes play.
If Pedro spoke correct Portuguese and said "wait"
instead of "péra", about 40 times.
- Sorry. VASCO: - It's wonderful.
- In the end, we'll compare times. - Let's do it.
For now, there's a second team coming into action.
GILMÁRIO: That was fast.
Being two, it's likely that a smaller team
has more articulated communication
and the evidence was more coordinated.
So articulated and coordinated that, at some point, I felt
they weren't sure they were part of the same team.
Other than that, let's see.
- Do I have something to do with her? - No.
- It's a coincidence that we're here. MARKL: - You both have to go.
GILMÁRIO: - So? GABRIELA: - "Hold on"!
ALARM SOUNDS
VASCO: First word.
- You have to understand I'm brief. - Okay, but quickly!
GILMÁRIO: Come on, Gabriela! Go, quickly!
"Hold on"! ALARM SOUNDS
- Come on! - There's a logic to it, I think.
Wait. Let's try to go together always.
- At the same time. - The yellows and the blues...
GILMÁRIO: You think so? Fine. We only step on the white ones.
Jump! ALARM SOUNDS
You stepped with both feet. You can't.
- That's not it. - It is.
Your legs are my entire size.
I'm not going to pass you. Let's always go together.
- I'll try to count... - Just listen for two seconds.
I can't jump from one white to the other.
- My leg is too short. - Damn.
- I can't jump a whole one. - I think this is the logic.
MARKL: - I wonder if this is regular? GABRIELA: - I think that's cheating.
Is it good here already? Or here?
MARKL: He's adjusting the leg span for each of you.
You won't be able to do that later on.
GILMÁRIO: It's just so we understand the logic behind it.
GILMÁRIO SHOUTS So far, so good.
GILMÁRIO: - "Wait". ALARM SOUNDS
"Péra". I stepped on the ground here. Let's do it again.
- That's not the logic. - I think that is the logic.
We have to step on the yellow ones and the blue ones at the same time.
- Do you want to try? - I do. You have a blue one before me.
# RHYTHMIC INSTRUMENTAL THEME
You have a yellow one! ALARM SOUNDS
It's the yellow one. I had to get to the yellow one.
- It can't be, otherwise it would beep here. - I don't think it's this.
Let me put it there before Vasco says it's irregular.
- Shall we try to do this logic? - Yes.
But if that's the case, It's not this logic.
It can't be. ALARM SOUNDS
My stye!
Logic... Let's try not to step on the blue.
# RHYTHMIC INSTRUMENTAL THEME
ALARM SOUNDS
GILMÁRIO LAUGHS Did you step on the blue?
- No, I didn't step on it. - Then you fell.
It's not stepping on the blue. Right? ALARM SOUNDS
Let's try to do this at the same time.
One, two... Four, five.
Nine, ten. I think that's it.
Seventeen, eighteen.
HUMMING
(...)
Concentrate. Don't fall.
HUMMING
SHOUTS OF JOY
It was "team building"! It was teamwork!
Sometimes, competitiveness gets in the way.
- It was your fault. - But you're the one who passed it to me.
Let's pray that the others don't have the same humility.
MARKL: - Of course. - And intelligence.
GILMÁRIO CANTAROLA
APPLAUSE
HUMMING
I don't know if they said "taran" or "paran".
MARKL: - They said "taran". - Now I only walk like this.
You thought the trick was teamwork.
- They had to go at the same time. GILMÁRIO: - Exactly.
I thought we had to work as a team.
Me with her, her with me. We go together to the end.
- That's it. - Yes.
At first, I thought it was every man for himself.
- "But is she with me?" - We're together.
The teams completed the challenge with more or less sirens.
At stake is the number of sirens they heard.
The team of Pedro, Ana and Mafalda triggered the siren 14 times.
And the team of Gilmário and Gabriela triggered the alarm eight times.
Yes!
Let's divide these five points,
giving three to the team that performed better
and two to the team that didn't perform so well.
Exactly. Gilmário, three points. Gabriela, three points.
And two points for Ana, Mafalda and Pedro.
- You could say it repeatedly. VASCO: - No, it's fine as it is.
PEDRO: It's not bad.
Let's see how the classification is.
Markl, how are things going?
MARKL: Ana is in the lead with seven points.
Then, tied with six, Gilmário and Pedro.
Gabriela has five. And at the bottom of the table, Mafalda.
MAFALDA: - I am a disgrace. VASCO: - We're just getting started.
APPLAUSE
I fancy something fresh. Something fresh and full of vitamins.
May I interest you in a piece of fruit rich in Vitamin C?
PEDRO: - Christ. - Lemon.
Maybe. While you're at it, I'll have a really fresh and sweet piece of fruit.
Sweet? Damn.
# SOFT INSTRUMENTAL THEME
Hello, more or less beautiful people.
Hello.
Good morning. Hello.
Welcome to my new recipe.
# SUSPENSE INSTRUMENTAL THEME
Is this to be read? Good morning, good afternoon, or good evening.
"Always looking at the camera,
eat a lemon without changing your facial expression."
"The winner is the one who eats the lemon with the best expression in the shortest time."
"You have one minute to choose your facial expression."
Lemon is that acidity that gets stuck back here,
in the jaws, and makes us want to die.
I choose an expression and eat a lemon, maintaining that expression.
How should a lemon be?
Is that it?
# COMIC INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
I have to be...
APPLAUSE
VASCO: Great choices of expressions.
I feel like we've reached a point
where there's no need for sophistication or refinement anymore.
- Just get straight to the point. MARKL: - "Eat lemon!"
Even for the women. "Eat lemon, man!"
Despite everything, there's still a certain thirst for refinement.
In fact, they had to do more than just eat lemon.
They had to choose an expression and keep it unchanged
while citrus fruits penetrated the oral cavities,
spreading acidity across the taste buds
and going down their throats.
Show me the ones who are going to start doing this disastrously.
Alright. Let's get to it. The disasters.
I'll get a knife. May I?
# UPBEAT INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
GABRIELA GEME
#
This is terrible for wrinkles. A whole lemon?
LAUGHTER
GABRIELA GEME
MAFALDA TOSSE
Do I have to eat the peel too?
# RHYTHMIC INSTRUMENTAL THEME
Am I approved? Do I have to eat everything?
Is it the whole lemon or not?
I don't have to eat the lemon. I have to eat...
"The one who eats the lemon wins..." Eating the lemon. It's vague.
MAFALDA GEME
# RHYTHMIC INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
PEDRO GEME
GABRIELA ARROTA
Sorry.
APPLAUSE
Is it good?
It tastes so bad.
PEDRO TAKES A DEEP BREATH
# SOFT INSTRUMENTAL THEME
What do we think? That I'm going to vomit any minute now.
Can I leave?
For me, it's done.
Goodbye. That's it, finished.
APPLAUSE
I don't know if you noticed, but Pedro didn't even open his mouth.
There's a rule in Portugal when you eat, you don't talk.
It's a sign that the food is really good.
LAUGHTER
The experience was terrible. I spent the next day burping lemon.
- You didn't have to eat the peel. - They said to eat the whole lemon.
- As far as I know... GABRIELA: - You don't eat the peel.
The peel is part of the lemon. The vitamin is in the peel.
MARKL: - A classic. - It's true.
Mafalda, we're back to the opening theme
of my conversation with you.
- Your father's pride... Isn't it? MAFALDA: - I am the disgrace of the family.
I'm going to be mocked for the rest of my life.
I also felt like Pedro.
I spent three days smelling of lemon. Everything smells like lemon.
It stayed in my stomach and I always felt like I was going to throw up.
- It's really bad. PEDRO: - There was one night
that I woke up because of the smell of lemon.
I thought I was being seasoned to go in the oven.
LAUGHTER
PEDRO: - It was a nightmare. VASCO: - Leave me alone!
- Gabriela, there was a burp. - There was.
At least, it was a pleasant lemon.
MARKL: - A lemon is a lemon. - What kind of concept is that?
It was awful, but they pay me well to be here.
Who's next in this orgy of acidity, my dear Nuno?
The person formerly known as Pipoca Mais Doce...
Clearly, that was before.
Do I always have to be like this! Help!
# RHYTHMIC INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
It doesn't say how long. I need an outlet.
ANA GEME
The peel has a lot of protein. The peel is very good.
Lemon peel. Doesn't mention not being able to mix things.
- More water. - With the peel?
Hello! I'm back! Just a little more water.
Give it to him! Let's get out of here! How do you stop this?
This glass is small, but...
Do you think I don't know what I'm doing here?
Suck on this, piggies!
Maybe I really don't know, that this is flour.
CENSORED WORD LAUGHTER
ANA: - I've been tricked! It's flour! MARKL: - It seemed like a good idea.
Let's pretend that never happened.
Now we're talking, we have sugar.
It has segments. Technically, this is eating.
Now it's going to be good. I said I'd be making this face.
How do you drink it? I even wanted to do it like this. Look.
Change of plans.
Here it goes.
With that camera. Sideways.
# RHYTHMIC INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
This never ends.
The clothes... So expensive. This can't be good for the liver.
Can I? I don't know. CENSORED WORD
Just to take the edge off.
# RHYTHMIC INSTRUMENTAL THEME
If only I were so well at home...
With the kids, just watching.
Done.
Next time, I'll experiment with flour.
It might be better.
I'm just going to vomit over there. Goodbye, everyone.
ANA GEME DISGUSTED
APPLAUSE
VASCO: - Yes, sir. - I feel unwell again.
GABRIELA: - Why with the peel? GILMÁRIO: - It's vitamins.
It's like eating a lemon. That's all, Gabriela.
Eating is one thing. Drinking is another.
- However... - It had pulp.
It wasn't all liquid. You guys are dumb.
GILMÁRIO: - It's not eating. VASCO: - Ana, tell me something.
Can you distinguish flour from sugar yet?
I don't want to talk about it.
Gilmário Vemba is still missing.
How did Gilmário fare with the ingestion of our citrus?
I remember that in one of the biographical comedy shows,
Gilmário Gemba...
VASCO: You're mistaken. He's Vilmário Gemba.
What did Vilmário Gemba confess to you?
Vilmário Gemba confessed that, in his childhood, he guzzled petroleum.
I would say that this individual is prepared for anything.
- After the petroleum... - I'm a big fan of Vilmário.
Vilmário Gemba...
# INSTRUMENTAL SUSPENSE THEME
They should have napkins.
#
GABRIELA: - I'm anxious. - Eat lemon.
And it's with the peel.
It worsens the level of horror of this flavor...
...lemon.
But do I have to finish the lemon? Am I supposed to finish the lemon?
Seriously? All three lemons or one? Or one lemon?
Thank God. Sometimes, the Lord is on our side.
I have a feeling that the lemon is getting more horrible.
With every bite, it seems like the lemon is getting irritated.
Don't you think I'm going to have a heartburn problem?
Are there doctors on the team?
So they can see if I won't have problems afterwards.
I don't know, some facial thrombosis. I'm making a tremendous effort
to maintain this calm, while everything on my face hurts.
Everything burns. Everything is horrible.
And the damn lemon never ends.
Let it be recorded on the cameras...
...that I ate a whole lemon, with the peel.
GILMÁRIO POPS MOUTH
Okay.
Wonderful.
Damn!
What a horrible day.
My mouth is burning, seriously.
I'm going to wash my mouth.
GILMÁRIO MOANS
APPLAUSE
For some strange reason, this felt like advertising.
It felt like one of those ads where you hear:
"For the man who always knows what he wants."
VASCO: - It was sensual. - It was "sexy".
You made a sensual face. The choice of expression was sensual.
And you didn't move an inch while eating for three minutes.
I know how to suffer. I'm an individual who has suffered a lot in life.
There's some practice involved.
It was three minutes that felt like three hours.
Three hours for you who were watching. For me, it was two weeks.
Nuno had the task of counting the number of altered expressions.
and to account for the time spent eating the lemon.
The amount of lemon consumed, what was left or not.
We're going to give points, taking into account the calculations you made.
- With one point, Mafalda. - I tried.
- So, Mafalda? - I'm being robbed.
With two points, the speedy Pedro.
Thank you.
With three points, the expressive Gabriela.
VASCO: - Very good. - Are you going to take four points?
- With four points... VASCO: - Let me tell you something.
Regarding Pipoca, she managed to leave a bit of clump.
She not only drank, but chewed and by chewing, I consider that she eats.
- Swell. VASCO: - Four points.
MARKL: Five points for Gilmário. - Thank you.
APPLAUSE
VASCO: - In a sensual way. - In a super sensual way.
Send the points to the table. Let's do the math. How are things?
MARKL: Tied with 11 points, Gilmário and Ana.
Tied with eight, Gabriela and Pedro.
And still with small, but honorable four points, Mafalda.
APPLAUSE
This week, I've added to the tasks something that could be defined
as something scientifically impossible.
But since when has that been an obstacle
to whatever happens in this program?
It's true, but even for the level to which we've accustomed
the dear people who watch this program,
I feel that, this time, we've gone a step further.
VASCO: - But it's a good step. - It's a good step.
- What is it now? PEDRO: - What is it now?
# SOFT INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
That way That I know you like
Will this set have any function this season?
- Mr. Nuno! - It's pleasant, isn't it?
- This set is very rich. - Very rich.
The investment was high.
A scale. Very good.
It's for the person to give up on the idea right away. I don't weigh myself, I'm warning you.
- There are many clocks here. - Courage.
The way you're pointing, when it opens, it will start counting.
A scale. Very good.
"Make time stop." How poetic.
"Win the most original time stop."
"You have one hour. Time starts now and cannot be stopped."
- This one can't be stopped. - Oh my God! Calm down!
- One minute? MARKL: - Whenever you want.
"Make time stop." I have to make this thing stop.
- Can I do whatever I want? - You can.
That's dangerous.
- You have one hour. - How do I stop time?
- One minute. - It's one hour. You have one hour.
Did you think it was 58 seconds and 40 tenths?
I don't know. In this program, you can't think too much.
APPLAUSE
Make time stop. What a glorious impossibility
and what a strong delving of confused minds
of these five people who are forced
to put their brains to work to create something magical.
Yes. There were two ways to approach this task.
One is creative. "Creative". And the other...
Considering there were several clocks in the scene,
with insane violence.
I prefer to believe that we are
dealing with creative and non-violent souls.
Let's see Pedro and Gabriela, trying to stop time in their own way.
I have to make time stop. There are more clocks here.
GABRIELA GEME
I'm going to take out all the batteries. I always go for the most basic.
They can't count on much from me.
- I'm playing it safe. MARKL: - Sure.
This has been done before too.
SHARDS
I wanted it to fall into the water.
Stop...
I could run over these clocks with my car.
Well...
- Stopped! These are stopped. - Very good.
If I ran you over, the program stops. - Yes, but I'm not time.
PEDRO WHISTLES SHARDS
Take out the batteries. Set them on fire. Throw them into the water.
PEDRO SIGHS
This one doesn't move. It's here to deceive.
GABRIELA MOANS
MARKL: The hand is still moving. Now it's officially stopped.
- Are you going to soak it? - Yes.
Doesn't it look like a Vogue cover?
- "Gabriela Makes Time Stop". - Of course.
It's already out.
Done.
- Stopped! - Water for clocks.
- I'm going to disguise myself. - Okay.
- That is... - You guys are very sneaky.
Did you stop your watch by putting it in your pocket?
It was.
MARKL: A kind of fairy. A fairy with fins.
You're suspicious. This program is making you suspicious.
- Here comes the shark. - It's a strange fruit tree.
But it didn't break. They bought good watches.
This program is turning me into a different man than I am.
I've never been one to read things three times.
I usually rush forward, but here I have to look at everything.
GABRIELA SHOUTS
Look, the creature is moving.
- Thank you. Time stood still. - But I'm not convinced.
Here I go!
Look, this isn't going to sink.
MARKL RI
MARKL: It looks like one of those classic ballet movies.
It's not going to sink.
Do you want anything more original than this? Look at them floating.
My stye!
- They all stopped. MARKL: - Stopped?
- Stopped! Time stops. MARKL: - Can I?
- Ready. - I'll whistle symbolically.
I won! MARK WHISTLES
This is incredible.
I feel like you're my coach after the jump.
This looks like another scene now.
Let's sit down waiting for the result.
Sure. For the scores.
You need to give me a pat on the shoulder.
- Yes. - To make it look like I did well.
Yes. It was amazing.
APPLAUSE
Did you want to put the clocks at the bottom of the pool?
- I don't even know. - You said, "This won't sink."
- What was your objective? - I don't even know.
I don't know why I disguised myself. I was probably bored.
MARKL: - Maybe. GABRIELA: - But time stood still.
The clocks stopped, just like Pedro's clocks.
You said you weren't convinced.
Would you do something different now?
- No. I'd do the same thing. VASCO: - Thank you.
I remember the envelope said: "Win the most original form."
That's why I masked myself. I remember now. Thank God!
GILMÁRIO: Gabriela's brain in "delay".
LAUGHTER
VASCO: Let's move forward, time doesn't stop.
The idea was for it to stop in a creative way.
I would like to say that the next person
put all their creativity to work.
Put in more than the previous colleagues. However...
I'm going to have to stop you all.
Can't you guide a pair of scissors? I didn't want to uproot the tree, but...
Here goes nothing. Where are the scissors?
It's a poor production. Can anyone help me?
Are we good? There's no more? Okay.
I'd like to know if this is a program
that allows you to work with flammable products.
Gasoline. On top of that, this has batteries.
I think this could really be...
Where's the lighter?
I look like the MacGyver of Amora. My God, this is going to go so badly.
It's just melting. It's not catching fire.
Can I set this on fire?
Don't put it out! Look at your friend down there.
"Habemus" flame. There. It's a nice flame.
We can already grill sardines in here.
Maybe it's a heresy, to set fire to the Master's proof.
This crap is going to explode in my face.
Let's go, then... ANA SCREAMS
ANA: That has a battery.
Someone less important than me
who can approach just to...
I work a lot with my face. It would be good not to... ruin it.
I think it went out.
We need more fire. We need more flammable material.
I'll let it burn more, but there's still a lot of clock to burn.
That time has stopped. Don't bother me.
It's time that can't be alive.
Let's go to plan B. But that one still counts.
It's a little pajama of solutions.
Maybe it helps to think about people to get angry.
My ex-husband! He's gone. Too bad. Stopped.
Roger Schmidt!
Kids with the flu who stay home!
The stupid tasks of "Taskmaster"!
The price of pine nuts and olive oil is a shame.
When the person goes all "confident" to park
and there's a Smart car there. Idiot!
People who say "hadem" and "comes-te".
It's done. Back there I think... That's it, right? It's over.
Maybe I'll take this. It's still useful to help a few more people out.
APPLAUSE
Ana's plan starts with clocks, talking about pine nuts,
about Benfica, about Smart cars, about the ex,
while a bucket burns behind, with the reflective vest...
MARKL: It was one of the most psychotic things.
There are people with a more normal look on the cover of the newspaper "The Crime."
MARKL: - That's true. PEDRO: - It was something I've never seen.
Smoked popcorn. Never seen it. Loved it.
Gilmário proposes an alternative, yet iconic, experience.
As always, of course. To leave a lasting impression.
How can I stop time in a truly original way?
Stop time.
Does anyone have a marker?
Yes!
NATURE AMBIENCE
# SOFT INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
Okay.
#
- There's Time. MARKL: - Yes.
It's the name I gave to this duckling.
- And Time is walking. MARKL: - It's walking.
And now what am I going to do? I'm going to stop Time.
This is me stopping time.
MARKL: It's stopped.
- Time in motion... MARKL: - Right.
# SOFT INSTRUMENTAL THEME
APPLAUSE
- Do you want me to whistle? - Time is stopped.
- Am I not a genius? - Yes, sir.
Because sometimes it's windy I'm going to put some weight on Time
so that even if it blows Time will continue...
That way Time won't go anywhere.
It's stopped. MARKL WHISTLES
- Beautiful. - Markl...
If Vasco doesn't give five points to this... It's an extraordinary idea.
I thought so.
And then they say it's impossible to stop time. How come?
I thought there was some beauty to it.
GILMÁRIO: Spectacle! It was creative, poetic...
MARKL: He was happy with his idea.
- I've never seen anyone so happy. - Ridiculous.
The duck symbolized time.
Not only did it symbolize it, but it was called Time.
- It's unqualified to compare time. - They damaged the RTP property and...
I want a representative of the Civil Government in this room,
because that's not stopping time.
The test itself was poetic, creative,
because stopping time the way you wanted to...
If you stop one clock, there are many others working.
You burn this one, there are others in the stores to buy.
Now, stopping time... Giving the name Time to something...
That's why I'm going to be the winner.
- That head is already at home. - Thank you, Gilmário Vemba.
However, we're still missing the proof from our guest, Mafalda.
Mafalda, who has here an opportunity
not only to demonstrate supernatural powers,
among them the power to insult me while still being jovial and dear.
But above all the question that arises here is...
How "creative" is Mafalda?
When I think about stopping time, what do I think about?
When we are in love, when we are with our "date",
on a romantic date, seeing the stars, the beach, holding hands...
- For me, then, time stops. - Right.
- But I don't know if it would be strange... - Of course.
- I'm not going to kiss you on the mouth... - No.
- You are an older person. - Right.
MAFALDA: You look weak. I'm not going to do that to you.
Then here in production,
there's no one here that attracts me physically. Sorry.
I don't know. I can do many things.
Weak... You have 58 minutes.
Calm down. It's passing already. Just wait. - Okay.
There's something I could do. I think it would be nice.
Can I do what I'm thinking of doing?
- Can I start? - Okay.
SNAPS FINGERS
# SOFT INSTRUMENTAL THEME
MAFALDA: Let's go then...
I love the people I just insulted in these positions...
As you can see, they're not at their best. They're not in the best angles.
This gentleman was telling me to shut up. I didn't even see him.
Could I have used this watch? I don't think so.
This is really cool.
It's a power I gained from my grandmother who was a witch.
I could have used it more in my life. I'm only using it now.
I could have used it for tests in school.
To see the answers of the smartest ones.
Look, Mr. Feeble here. He's so cute.
Okay, and people, this is what we have.
I'm going to pee. I'll take advantage of it now.
I have an hour. I have plenty of time.
But I also like to observe people. It's so nice.
They have a look...
I can do whatever I want. It's so nice.
MAFALDA TRAUTEIA
MAFALDA: The girl with the makeup... Such pretty things.
Maybe I'll steal something here... Hello! Look, there I am.
Steal some things I want from here. Look, this. This is good.
The clothes. I can even steal all the clothes I want from here.
This is a party.
Look! They are preparing a task.
Should I open it to see what it is already?
No, you have to control yourself, Mafalda. You're not a cheater, calm down.
This man, what is he doing? He's putting up a camera.
Could it be to use the camera in the task?
I want to open it so badly. I'm going to open it.
No, calm down. Take a deep breath.
Meanwhile, it must have been about an hour. I don't know.
I did so much.
Now, we have this gentleman here. Take the camera again.
Hold it. He holds it.
We're good.
Okay.
He's stopped. I'm going to draw the Harry Potter symbol here.
The lightning bolt.
Done.
SNAPS FINGERS
- Weak. - Yes.
Meanwhile, I finished my test.
Thank you all. See you next week.
Weak.
VASCO: - Bravo. PEDRO: - Very good.
APPLAUSE
- Thank you, "grandma", for the powers. VASCO: - "Very creative".
Weak? So many things you could have called my friend.
He had that look. And then I drew the lightning bolt on him.
- I thought it was very sweet. - Grandma who was a witch?
- Yes. She taught me some things. VASCO: - Like stopping time.
Yes. So, I was very happy when I read the task.
And she stopped time and was creative.
Let's give grades, because it's time to give grades.
MARKL: - Let's get to it. - I will reward above all else
what was in the envelope, which was originality.
I'm not giving anyone a point.
I'll give two points to Gabriela and Pedro Alves.
Didn't I get it right?
I'll give an extra point because Pipoca manages to, at the same time,
be aware of the weather, there in a pyromaniac way,
and also talk about pine nuts. - Of course.
Pipoca and her pajama full of things, three points.
- I liked Gilmário's duck. - It was poetic.
I liked Gilmário's duck. It's metaphysical, it's creative...
GILMÁRIO: - It's poetic. - It's "Taskmaster".
Therefore, Gilmário gets four, but I give Mafalda five points
who stops time in a creative way.
- It was an incredible production. PEDRO: - It wasn't bad. It was good.
And at this point, how's the score?
MARKL: Gilmário is still in the lead with 15. Then, Ana with 14.
Tied with ten are Gabriela and Pedro.
- And Mafalda has nine points. VASCO: - Very good.
Are you upset, why, Gabriela? This is "Taskmaster".
I think it's absurd a plastic duck called Time...
"Let me stop time. Done. Good morning."
I'm going to get to the restaurant and order a time rice.
- I'm sorry... - It's okay.
Justice will be done in due time. It's okay.
If you want to complain, send an email
to fairyunion@gmail.com.
- You know what I feel like? MARKL: - What do you feel like?
- I feel like a toast. - Your wish is my command,
although dependent on the accuracy of these individuals.
VASCO: Let's do it.
# SOFT INSTRUMENTAL THEME
Hello.
MARKL: - How's it going? - Good.
- This little showcase of... - I'm starving.
If I'm going to eat, I'll eat this now.
Can I eat now before opening the task?
- You better open the task. - Okay.
Look at everything first to see what's going on.
"Insert a slice of bread into the toaster..."
"From the greatest possible distance."
Therefore, from the greatest possible distance.
Does it have to be horizontal or can it be vertical?
MARKL: That's up to you.
"Only the last attempt counts."
Of course. Hitting it is the last attempt. I won't do any more.
"You have 20 minutes. Time starts now."
- Okay. - This is really cool.
I'm thrilled.
I've never seen anyone receive an assignment with such joy.
- I love bread. - Me too.
Should I grab the bread and throw it in to get in here?
Can I play with the toaster?
- Actually, I'm feeling hungry now. - Me too.
MARKL: To have five public figures at your disposal, boss,
to make you toast.
The career milestone you've reached, Vasco.
They had to aim at the toaster from the greatest possible distance.
Which proves I wasn't that hungry after all.
Except for a hunger for spectacle
spread with a little bit of foolishness butter.
That's what I wanted.
That's it. And that's what you're going to get.
Starting with two schools of thought
when it comes to introducing slices of bread into toasters.
We have the vertical school and the more or less horizontal school.
Let's go! Run with me. We have 20 minutes.
MAFALDA: Let's go upstairs.
MARKL: Don't you want me to stay down here to see if she falls?
We have plenty of tweezers.
I'm already annoyed.
# RHYTHMIC INSTRUMENTAL THEME
I don't know how I'm going to do this.
ANA IS STUTTERING
If it were the tallest toast, I think...
No. I don't think so. It wouldn't work anyway.
- I feel like it's going to work. MARKL: - Good luck.
- You have to feel it with me. - Okay.
Are you?
It's the wind.
- Did you see that? MARKL: - My God.
A fishing rod, does anyone have one?
Don't fall. Don't fall.
Cow!
MARKL: - A second toaster? - Three.
You did some kind of statistic.
I may be limited, but I'm not dumb.
I don't know how to use a fishing rod. - Me neither.
You're not confident. You don't believe at all.
MARKL: I'm finding the line too short.
This is very bad.
SCREAMS: It's not working!
Recover.
We considered it. It's in there. But this isn't my last attempt.
I want to try to make this even bigger.
I'm not even using technique anymore. I'm just giving up on my life.
One more try.
No! Clearly this isn't going to work.
I'm not a person who gives up, but maybe today is the day.
Stupid, isn't it?
It had gone so well, why did I get into experiments?
CENSORED SPEECH Now he's gone from here.
Now's the time! I'm going to put three in this one.
- Pray with me, team! MARKL: - Let's go!
- Look! MARKL: - Do you want to see?
MAFALDA: Markl...
What is that?
MAFALDA: Do I drop the fishing rod and give up on my life, or not?
A person leaves here with a PhD in engineering.
Calm down. Calm down, little one.
# RHYTHMIC INSTRUMENTAL THEME
Okay, that's it.
Wait!
Did you see that? What do I do?
The bucket. It might fall.
Does this count?
It was here. Don't cheat. I know how you guys are.
They do everything to benefit Gilmário.
GILMÁRIO: Look...
- Wait a minute! Turn your back! MARKL: - For what purpose?
Turn your back.
Keep going.
Markl, look!
Take it out.
When I threw the bucket, I put two inside.
Just in case it gets in... And look. It fits perfectly.
- Miracle. Incredible. - See and learn.
Tell the other contestants, see and learn.
MARKL: - Thank you. - Bye.
MARKL: Bye.
PEDRO: Full of tricks, you are. It's all tricks.
- Wasn't it shooting? - It was inserting.
Now, suddenly, you understand Portuguese immensely.
Mafalda, that bucket was for the miracle, wasn't it?
Of course. When I threw it, there were two there and that was it.
VASCO: And curiously without Markl seeing, because he had his back turned...
He was distracted. I threw...
I remember the time when you pointed something out to me on the other side
and I turned around politely,
sensing that some trickery was happening behind my back.
Do you want to know who the next athletes are
in these "olimpãoíadas"?
At the risk of regretting my answer,
I'll say yes. Who are they?
Get ready to see Pedro Alves and Gabriela Barros,
trying to introduce bread as if their lives depended on it.
Is that it? It's that, but far away.
# RHYTHMIC INSTRUMENTAL THEME
I feel like someone did this. Look at him, "it's the basics, Gabriela".
I can use you. You are usable, aren't you?
I have to find a way to keep that thing stuck
so that it doesn't come out.
Hello. Is everything alright? You lie down. You stretch a lot.
Everyone lie down!
Wait! This might not work.
It's over! The class is over. I thought it would work. Thank you.
You are all very kind.
- Did you change your mind? - It's the braid.
# RHYTHMIC INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
SHOUT RI
What despair.
It can be half at a time, right?
# RHYTHMIC INSTRUMENTAL THEME
I'm at a disadvantage. I'm having a bad hair day today.
I want that to be taken into account.
# RHYTHMIC INSTRUMENTAL THEME
Is someone measuring? No one measuring?
It's by eye. This measurement is by eye.
Playing the smart aleck doing clowning around is what happens.
You have to hit it right there even if you break yourself completely.
One. It's done.
I want there to be no cheating afterwards.
Vasco, sorry, I ruined your grass a little bit.
Okay, now we're talking, I'll take...
... my toaster.
SCREAM
You have to imagine this is an extension of the tube.
Beep! Beep!
BEEP
# CHEERFUL INSTRUMENTAL THEME
It's in here.
#
It's done.
It's inside and inserted.
Inse...
LAUGHTER
(...)
"Insert a slice of bread...
"Insert a slice of bread into the toaster
"from the greatest distance possible.
"Only the last attempt counts. You have 20..."
This is my last attempt. Isn't it?
Saravá!
Hello, what can I do for you?
Imagine I was just coming in now. It would have been beautiful.
# SOFT INSTRUMENTAL THEME
Is that it?
"Inserts a slice of bread..." BEEP
APPLAUSE
- What was that? - You're going to say the one about the hose...
The duck days, this is the life.
Now, hoses, couplings, and me holding it can't be.
- No... VASCO: - Forget the duck.
- I'm outraged by that duck. - You'd already put him in the toaster.
He was here saying: "Gabriela, the toast..."
Put him in the toaster and go as far as possible.
"This is the weather."
Gabriela, first, you went to get four members of our team.
- I tried, yes. - And what was it for?
I want to know what you wanted to try.
- What was the idea? ANA: - A human chain.
- Even if it doesn't work. - I just became a mother.
- She had a treçolho... - I was with a treçolho.
I want you to understand. It was very difficult.
I think it was to make a human thing
and the last one would do like this. The same logic as the hose.
- Yes. - This one has ideas.
I see a team like this.
- And I lose morale. - They are always like this.
Pedro, do you also feel the team like this when you do your things?
- Of course, it's horrible. VASCO: - I understand.
It looked like an Olympic sport. The toaster at this distance...
Let's notice that the toaster is right here.
You know what it reminded me of? When at four in the morning,
you leave the club very drunk and want to go to the ATM.
Stop! Stop!
APPLAUSE
What's missing is, at this point, Gabriela's best friend,
Gilmário Vemba. And did we save good material?
We saved the fireworks for the end.
The greatest possible distance. My idea is...
I'm going to create a mechanism here that will work with a rope,
and that rope will reach the greatest possible distance,
and then make it create a small crane here
that will insert a bit of bread... That's what it will be.
This is my idea. Now, will it work?
That's what we're about to find out.
What would be a good distance?
Now, I need to see the toaster.
I need visibility.
# Rhythmic Instrumental THEME
This is an important piece for this process to work.
#
I need another mechanism.
I could do this quickly,
but this is the third "Taskmaster" I've done.
If I don't win this one, I'm not a worthy competitor on the show.
# Rhythmic Instrumental THEME
#
- Fire! - Look at the work.
#
A matter of patience.
#
GILMÁRIO: Did it go in?
APPLAUSE
SPEAKS ENGLISH: Let me see.
The biggest toast ever.
Yes!
I've made a lot of toast in my life.
I have four children.
It's never been so difficult to prepare a toast.
Normally, it's butter, toast, butter, toaster...
This has never happened to me.
You also have to start being careful with what you invent. Fire!
Damn toast!
GABRIELA: - Yes... - That was it, wasn't it?
GABRIELA: No, it is. Concrete things. Now...
- They didn't ask for poetry there. - This was indeed a test...
It went even better than you were expecting.
Much better. I didn't see the toaster
and the toaster didn't see me either.
More distance than this was impossible.
Markl, is there any image we need to see just to...
There's a "photo finish". We have to confirm two distances
that might be very close to each other.
Let's start by looking at Gabriela.
Gabriela managed to insert at a distance of 0 cm.
- It's touching. VASCO: - And another image.
MARKL: And now let's see Mafalda just to be sure.
VASCO: And here it is.
MARKL: And we measure these ridiculous, but fascinating distances.
So, Mafalda managed 0.1 and Gabriela 0.
It was right on top. It was touching.
Let's go to the next ones, Pedro managed to insert the toast
at a distance of 14 cm. VASCO: - Right.
Then, with 3.6 m Ana Garcia Martins.
VASCO: And now the question the whole country is asking.
What is the distance between Gilmário Vemba and the toaster?
Gilmário was 41.1 m from the toaster.
APPLAUSE
VASCO: Translate that into points.
MARKL: Gabriela has one point. Mafalda, two. Pedro, three.
Pipoca "Mai" Doce, four points. And Gilmário, five.
VASCO: Let's send these points to our leaderboard.
At this point, how are things looking?
MARKL: Gilmário in the lead with 20 points followed by Ana with 18.
Then, in the middle of the table, Pedro with 13.
And tied with 11 are Gabriela and Mafalda.
VASCO: A round of applause for the five of them.
APPLAUSE
I feel like Gabriela and Mafalda don't...
VASCO: We have toast on the program, and I ask you,
what goes very well with toast?
I have a proposal here, but I warn the viewers
that the beginning of this might seem a little strange.
# SOFT INSTRUMENTAL THEME
- Hello. MARKL: - How's it going?
- Are you alright? - Fine, thank you.
MARKL: To sit down a little to rest.
- How are we doing? Very nice. MARKL: - Thank you very much.
- Great sneakers. - Thank you.
May there be someone who says nice things as soon as they enter.
How are you, Mr. José Carlos Malato? - Glad to be alive.
- I've always wanted to meet you. - The pleasure is all mine.
- Here we are, right? - Mrs....
I didn't have anything prepared. Damn! It's in these things that it shows.
Maybe next time.
Yes!
# SOFT INSTRUMENTAL THEME
- It's the boss's letter, isn't it? - It is.
- Can I go there? - Go!
Do I have to sit down to read it or can I stand?
You can stand, you can be seated... However you like.
A guy has to ask everything. It's all just traps.
"Call Markl aside and do the following things to him."
Scary.
"Confess your favorite kitchen utensil."
"Shout a body part of your choice in his face."
"Declare a gardening tool
"with a goofy tone of voice."
"You have three minutes."
I haven't said the last one yet. Wait!
"Your time starts now."
Right then...
So, three seemingly random things
they had to say here to my dear Nuno.
Their favorite kitchen utensil.
Shout out a body part of their choice. In your face.
And they also had to decree the name of a gardening tool
in a silly voice.
Which seemed like a task in itself.
Little did our contestants know that they were making choices
that would dictate much of what was going to happen next
in the second part of the task.
- Nuno, if you please. - Yes, Gilmário.
- Sit here. - You want me to sit here?
Okay.
- I apologize. - Go ahead.
He looks like Santa Claus.
Do you know what my favorite kitchen utensil is?
- It's the fish scaler. - Right.
Thermomix.
SPEAK SPANISH
(...)
I really like Salazar.
Did you say you really like Salazar?
- You're referring to the kitchen thing. - Yes.
- What is the translation of "cuchara"? - It's spoon.
Right. Thank you.
"Vimvy".
"Shout a body part of your choice in his face."
Ear!
Shoulders!
Shoulder!
Knee!
Boobs!
LAUGHTER
You brute.
I can make a voice with my neck.
- A hose. - Darn!
I really like the plant cutting shears.
Rake.
I really like a lawnmower.
A cart to carry stuff that's in a garden.
- A wheelbarrow? - A wheelbarrow.
What kind of cart should it be?
Thank you, Ana.
MAFALDA: - I really liked it. - Thank you very much.
- I think it was silly enough. - It's nice, yes, sir.
APPLAUSE
Thank you.
I'm starting to think it's not much. Is that all?
Don't burn yourself. Be careful! Get out of there! You could get burned.
You're right. I always forget.
Maybe that's all there is. It's just that I'm... Look who's here.
It's just that I have high expectations.
PEDRO: - And a three-leaf clover. GABRIELA: - I don't remember.
Did you see the three-leaf clover?
- All this had a purpose. MARKL: - It did.
A purpose that you will understand right away.
Right.
It wasn't by chance that these three things were requested.
Markl, who are we going to start with?
Let's squeeze Mafalda and Pedro.
PEDRO CANTA MARKL: Welcome.
Is this familiar to you?
Citrus fruits.
I'm scared.
Let's see the boss's letter.
- Are you remembering these... - I remember what I said.
I said mango tree. Admit me now.
"Squeeze as much orange juice as possible into the container."
- Is this it? - Right.
"Only the items you chose can touch the oranges."
Not bad.
A hose, A Thermomix, and a shoulder.
- No hands. - I said shoulder.
An ear?
- Where's the ear? MARKL: - It's yours. Remember?
- "Time starts now." - There you go.
First, of course this is useful, because I can do this
and touch the oranges with this and not with my hand.
- I'm not touching the orange. MARKL: - Right.
- But I can touch the bowl. MARKL: - Just not the oranges.
I'm going to open this. Can this squeeze oranges?
- I think it can. - I'm a genius. I said Thermomix.
Do you know how this goes in here?
How does this thing work? I don't know how to use this.
How does this thing...
Easy.
It looked like a windmill.
- I'm not... MARKL: - Only the hose touches it.
Of course. Do you think I'm touching this?
I've never touched an orange in my life.
Take that! Did you see?
Almost there.
- It is. - Okay.
- Open? Wow! MARKL: - It's not right.
- It was almost right. - Look at this scene.
- I grabbed the orange. - You did.
And now?
I hate this. What is this?
It moved. Let's go!
THERMOMIX GRINDS
This one doesn't count.
It needs to be more.
SCREAM BIMBY GRINDS
I think I messed up. Take a look.
- It's kind of a paste. - Can I add juice, or more ?
BIMBY GRINDS
Open it?
I touched this one. This one doesn't count either. This one doesn't count.
- It's kind of scrambled eggs. Isn't it? - It looks like scrambled eggs.
Screw the Bimby.
LAUGHTER
You were only supposed to touch it with the objects. That wasn't on your wishes.
It is now.
It's not going to work. Why don't you use the lawnmower?
Jesus!
Look at the scrambled eggs I made.
LAWN MOWER
If I lick this, does it become water or not? It becomes liquid.
LAWN MOWER
MARKL: You're eating orange peel.
I'm done.
LAWN MOWER
MARKL WHISTLES
- Is that all? - Since I already whistled, it doesn't count.
- Look. - Okay.
If they served you this, would you call it juice?
Yes, because it's a smoothie with little things in it.
MARKL: Right. It needs to be measured.
Sorry. MARKL WHISTLES
- Thank you. - Thank you.
- You have orange in your hair. - It's okay. It suits me.
MARKL: Of course.
Magnificent.
I don't know if it's juice. It looks like a dessert.
APPLAUSE
MAFALDA: It was good. We said Bimby.
Markl is there to ensure that everything goes well.
And we see Pedro Alves struggling to squeeze an orange.
And what does this guy say? "You have a lawnmower."
I never thought I would have that dialogue ever in my life.
That happens regularly in my house.
I'm serious. I have an orange tree.
The oranges fall onto the lawn,
and when you go to mow the lawn and trim it with a lawn trimmer,
you take advantage of that, too. It stays consistent.
I also noticed that it wasn't the first time you'd done that.
I realized there was a certain experience there.
PEDRO: It's not the first time.
On the contrary, I realized it was the first time
that Mafalda Creative worked with a Thermomix.
Exactly. I didn't know how to use that thing. But I clicked a button there
and tons of stuff was coming out for your face, for mine.
I loved it.
What you're saying can be summarized in this photo.
MAFALDA: - Calm down. What? MARKL: - They should make t-shirts of this.
I was feeling it a lot. And there was that pulp juice left over.
- Did you see juice there? - I did.
Me, licking, was to create the liquid.
Very good. All to prepare a tasty orange juice.
These guys are giving it their all, but...
The ones who ended up most squeezed here were our competitors.
Here's someone who could have thought better about which body part to use.
and Gilmário.
Hello there.
- Welcome! - Hello, handsome.
- What are we going to do here? - You have to read...
Let me just show you a skill I have.
Fire! This is amazing, Markl.
APPLAUSE
"Squeeze as much orange juice into the container as possible."
"Only the items you've chosen can touch the oranges."
The items I chose? I didn't choose anything.
You did. Pruning shears. A fish scaler and a knee.
Fire!
"You have five minutes."
"Time starts now."
Remember you chose these items.
- A spoon. MARKL: - A wheelbarrow.
- And boobs. - And boobs.
Now, this is that moment
where I deeply regret the choices I've made.
- Can I go back? - No.
Only these items can touch the orange.
And the knee. Don't forget the knee.
- The knee? Did I say knee? MARKL: - You did.
You shouted knee in my face and spat a fleck of saliva.
Okay.
- The knee, can I use it? - Okay.
- The knee isn't even on the orange. MARKL: - No.
Okay.
Look at the genius.
I want to challenge this test. Is it counting already?
- Yes. - Let's do experiments.
You're touching the orange with your hand. - So?
MARKL: You can only touch it with the three objects you chose.
GILMÁRIO: - What is it? MARKL: - It looks like an open faucet.
GILMÁRIO: That's how I am, Markl.
When it comes to producing, it's like an open faucet.
LAUGHTER
The more oranges I cut, the more juice I'll have.
# SOFT INSTRUMENTAL THEME
Easy, orange.
This will never happen in my life.
How am I supposed to squeeze it?
You have a wheelbarrow and you have your boobs.
A wheelbarrow can't squeeze things.
Can I touch the container?
The orange has to be touched with the objects you chose.
Right.
GILMÁRIO: - Calm down. MARKL: - It's slightly scary.
GILMÁRIO: It is. And dangerous, too.
MARKL: That's good.
Good juice!
MARKL: Three minutes to squeeze the most juice.
Forget it! Never in my life.
I'm thinking about how I can use the breasts.
- But I can't see how. - You have the wheelbarrow.
The wheelbarrow doesn't fit in here.
- Too bad. - I was enjoying it so much.
MARKL: I've seen such strange things happen on this show.
Incredible.
It's very strange, Gilmário.
I look like a lady peeing. - That's right.
- It's juicy. - It's juicy.
This image will haunt me.
# RHYTHMIC INSTRUMENTAL THEME
MARKL WHISTLES
# RHYTHMIC INSTRUMENTAL THEME
It's enough to fill a cup of coffee.
MARKL WHISTLES
We've reached the end of the five minutes. - Okay, just take it out.
I should have shouted 'hands'.
There's a good sauce here.
I have a feeling that people will do worse. I'm confident.
Enjoy your meal.
Yes, sir.
I really enjoyed this little bit. Liar. I didn't like it at all.
I'm going to be lying now... On top of that, I'm going to smell...
I'm going to smell like a poor people's excursion.
APPLAUSE
MARKL: Extraordinary phrases are being said.
You pushing the wheelbarrow.
I wanted to witness a combo moms/wheelbarrow.
- And you tried, but it didn't work. ANA: - I still tried.
The best of me was useless.
Gilmário Vemba, it wasn't the first time
that you made juice this way. - No. These aren't knees.
VASCO: That requires years of practice.
These are natural orange juicers.
- That's how I make juice at home. MARKL: - Incredible.
VASCO: A lot of juice came out,
but we'll only do the math after Gabriela is done,
because I want more.
Give me more citrus spurts of good embarrassment.
And here you have them.
Now, courtesy of Gabriela Barros.
- Hello, cheers. - I knew it.
MARKL: Happy?
"Squeeze as much orange juice as possible into the container."
"Only the items you chose are allowed to touch the oranges."
MARKL: Including the shoulder.
- My shoulder. - You shouted shoulder.
- Why not yours? - No, a part of your body.
Shit.
Shoulder.
What the hell.
Wait! I wasn't prepared for so much physical exercise.
"You have... five minutes."
- And the thing goes here, right? - Yes.
"And the time starts now."
MARKL: You're touching the orange with your hand. You can't.
Only with utensils and with your shoulder. Shoulder!
LAUGHTER
MARKL: Well...
No, that's your hand. That's your hand.
LAUGHTER
MARKL: May God help us.
Sorry.
What nonsense.
Oh, man.
ORANGE FOAM
The sound.
Wait.
# RHYTHMIC INSTRUMENTAL THEME LAUGHTER
# (...)
MARKL: - Not the hand. - Wait.
MARKL: - Use your shoulder. - Don't annoy me.
What's the shoulder for? A useless limb. It's good for nothing.
Only for grabbing bras.
MARKL: Someone seeing you from this angle would think you're...
Looks like you're urinating into a container.
It's one of the strangest images I've ever seen in my entire life.
I can scrape all this at the end. I'm amazed.
If this isn't the best kitchen utensil.
MARKL: Incredible. Here we go.
This looks like an old technique for a good orange liqueur.
Weren't there any rakes for my size?
So much juice.
MARKL: - Ten seconds. - Look at the orange juice.
This is useless. MARKL WHISTLES
Done.
I thought the utensils would be less useful than they were.
- Enjoy. - Thank you.
GABRIELA: Bye.
APPLAUSE
Gabriela, you seemed very comfortable, just like Gilmário managed
to squeeze oranges with his knees. - Clearly, there is...
We share the same ancestral family practices.
But this is very much "Taskmaster". You tried your best.
An applause for Gabriela Barros.
APPLAUSE
Markl analyzed not your pee-pee,
but your juice, the quantities,
taking into account the restrictions I placed on this test,
so let's see. - Let's talk about amounts.
Let's take stock of the quantities.
Pedro, 60 ml placed in the wrong container, hands...
Mafalda, we don't measure in millimeters, we measure in grams,
79 g of orange pulp.
Ana made 60 ml. There were touches on the orange.
VASCO: But before, not during the process.
Gilmário, 200 ml. That's how much he made.
And Gabriela had 95 ml. She touched the oranges three times.
Regarding points,
considering that the juice didn't end up in the right tureen
and there were many hands in the execution of the juice,
Pedro will forgive me, but he only gets one point.
Mafalda didn't make juice, she made pulp. You tried, you made an effort.
Mafalda gets two points.
MARKL: Pipoca, three. Gabriela, four. And Gilmário, five.
VASCO: A round of applause for our magnificent five.
I'm in this to win. I warned you. It's to take that thing.
VASCO: Let's send these points to the overall ranking,
because we only have one more challenge to do here in the studio.
And before these five come up on stage...
MARKL: In the lead, Gilmário with 25 points.
Then Pipoca with 21. Gabriela with 15.
Pedro with 14 and Mafalda with 13 points.
VASCO: A round of applause for the five of them.
At this point, before the last studio task,
only two people can win today's "Taskmaster",
Ana Garcia Martins and Gilmário Vemba.
Of course, we will have Gabriela, Pedro, and Mafalda in this last task.
If one of you three wins, it's Gilmário...
Never! I'm not giving points to anyone.
If it's not me, it'll be Pipoca.
But if Ana Garcia Martins wins the final task,
Ana will be the winner of today's "Taskmaster".
Now, let's move on to the last task.
Please rise and give these butts the applause they deserve.
These are our five before the final test.
To the stage!
APPLAUSE
(...)
It appears there is one last test
and what you have to do is in this envelope.
That's it. I will assign it to our guest, Mafalda.
VASCO: A round of applause for Mafalda Creative, our guest today.
APPLAUSE
"Make your gloves and galoshes as heavy as possible,
"while keeping your gloves and galoshes on.
"You have 90 seconds.
"You can only put items in your gloves during the first minute.
"You can only put items in your galoshes after the second whistle."
MARKL: - Okay. - While they're here?
MARKL: They can never take off either their gloves or their galoshes.
MARKL WHISTLES VASCO: We start with the gloves.
# RHYTHMIC INSTRUMENTAL THEME
PEDRO: I want to put the little pee bottles here...
MAFALDA: I have small hands.
VASCO: Glove weather is almost over.
GILMÁRIO: My glove burst.
MARKL WHISTLES VASCO: Move on to the galoshes.
# RHYTHMIC INSTRUMENTAL THEME VASCO RI
#
MARK: 3, 2, 1...
MARK BLOWS WHISTLE
VASCO: It's over!
Let's proceed with weighing the galoshes and gloves.
APPLAUSE
The galoshes and gloves have already been weighed.
APPLAUSE
I'm going to concentrate and receive the results telepathically.
In fifth place in this task, with 514 g accumulated,
Mafalda Creative. - I put the bucket.
Mafalda is consistent.
In fourth place in this task, with 560 g accumulated,
Pedro Alves.
PEDRO: It's in order.
In third place in this task with 809 g, Gabriela Barros.
APPLAUSE
It's all down to these two people now.
Which makes this exciting. Today's winner...
Take your hand off.
MARKL: With 1,811 g it's...
Gilmário Vemba!
APPLAUSE CHEERS OF JOY
Gilmário Vemba wins today's show.
But before we leave it's time to reflect a "conhé".
What have we learned today on this "Taskmaster"?
Snap your fingers, time to hear nothing
except a siren, because your chatterbox didn't shut up.
There's so much in this life that brings trouble,
play basketball with a toaster and some slices of Panrico bread.
If life gives you lemons don't panic,
put on a pretty face and eat them, peel and all.
And I hope you find someone who loves you
and lets you make juice with a lawnmower
and a fish scaler.
This is "Taskmaster"! See you next week.
Gilmário Vemba, go enjoy your prizes.
Adaptation and Subtitles RTP - Adapted Content