# TASKMASTER THEME
PEDRO COUGHS MARKL SHOUTS
- "Xenoa"... - "Xenoa" ?
MARKL: "Xenoa" ?
- Someone will do worse than me. - Damn! "What bad luck!"
- I'm really smart, aren't I? - I'm not playing this anymore. Goodbye.
# TASKMASTER THEME
APPLAUSE
(...)
Warm greetings and welcome
to this kind of box of televised chocolates,
where five Mon Chéris with crunchy coating
end up relentlessly bitten by my strong teeth,
pouring over my eager taste buds
their firm liquor of anguish, trauma and humiliation.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is "Taskmaster"!
APPLAUSE
By my side is a man who recently confided in me
that he is not sure that the Earth is not flat,
since the astronauts are the ones who saw it from the outside
and even those, he says, staged what they call the trip to the moon,
in one of their garages. Despite that, we like him.
Your love, your applause, for Nuno Markl!
APPLAUSE
Thank you.
APPLAUSE
Let's open the Mon Chéris box and let's applaud these five sweets.
Your applause for Ana Garcia, Pipoca Mais Doce, Martins!
APPLAUSE
Next to Pipoca, applause for Gilmário, Filadagoda, Vemba!
APPLAUSE
Your love also for Gabriela, É Este, Barros!
APPLAUSE
VASCO: Applause also for Pedro,
For the Love of God, Stop Calling Me Bino, Alves!
APPLAUSE
(...)
And the special guest is called André Filipe Alves Monteiro.
The whole world knows him as Rei Ukra!
APPLAUSE
(...)
I was flooded with messages. "Ukra has to go to 'Taskmaster'."
Did they talk to you many times? "You have to go to 'Taskmaster'?"
- He's a very good friend of Cândido's. - Yes.
Was being here something you wanted or was it a surprise?
It was something I wanted. It's a program
that identifies with my way of being in life.
Sometimes, I got tired of looking at the card and reading what was written.
But, above all, I had fun. It's the most important thing about this program.
It's the most important thing. Have fun. I'm glad you're here. An applause.
APPLAUSE
VASCO: Dear Markl, if we look at what's happening in the world,
we see that there's so much that can bring us down.
- So much. - It makes us think
that there's no hope for humanity. MARKL: - Yes, armed conflicts.
- Climate change. - Music videos by Maria Leal.
- Capinha's Tik-Toks. - Yes.
But this program wants to light the light of hope.
So, we asked you to bring the thing that gives the most hope
for the future of humanity.
Ana, what did you bring from home that gives hope to humanity?
I feel that the most important thing that was missing has been invented.
It's an umbrella for cell phones.
It protects not only from rain, but also from spit.
And I feel that now that we've created the most important thing,
we can dedicate ourselves to secondary things.
War, diseases. The most important thing is already here.
If this doesn't give you hope in humanity, you have no heart.
I liked that, but I'm not the one who's giving points.
APPLAUSE I've never seen such a thing.
- Gilmário, what did you bring? - In these years, living in Europe,
I realized I needed something that makes sense
if we want humanity to continue.
I brought an example of what I can do at home alone.
LAUGHTER APPLAUSE
(...)
VASCO: - Is it number 1, 2, 3 or 4? - This is number 5.
It's what will guarantee the continuity of humanity.
Umbrellas are unnecessary. We need children.
And Portugal is far below. If you continue like this,
in 50 years, we'll say there used to be a people here
who were the Portuguese. - Thank you.
APPLAUSE
- Gabriela... - Vasco, Vasquinho... Marklão...
I don't know if you were warned that the world is going to end.
MARKL: - I have an idea about that. - It's going to be tragic.
Not even a little boat, nor a Noah's Ark will save us.
I thought: "Let's get out of here." I'm offering the last ticket.
This is the last ticket...
APPLAUSE
You can call. 790 200 030. I already spoke with my friend Musk.
Elon, for those closest to him. He's already arranged everything in "Mart".
- "Mart"? GABRIELA: - "Mart", yes.
Just call.
There is still a ticket available for a ride.
APPLAUSE
Just so no one has any doubts, your hope for humanity is:
"We all have to leave, otherwise, we're all going to die."
Yes.
Pedro, what brought you to think about the hope of humanity?
I think humanity needs an awakening
and to wake up every day.
If people don't wake up, they stay asleep.
Even in the future... What is our life without an alarm clock?
Think about it. What will life be? I think...
APPLAUSE
PEDRO: For humanity to continue rolling along in good condition,
you need an alarm clock for various things in life.
Wake up early to get to work early.
Wake up early for a happy day, wake up early for a sad day.
Wake up early for anything. Life is not made for sleeping.
VASCO: - Thank you, Pedro. PEDRO: - I wake up early.
VASCO: Pedro's alarm clock has already been sold.
All that's left is to know what Ukra brought thinking about the future of humanity.
Our friend Gilmário said that, in 50 years,
if Portugal continued like this, we would only be one people.
He brought the solution for that. He brought a broken condom.
LAUGHTER APPLAUSE
(...)
He really believes in hope.
Even so, he made it work for another time.
PEDRO: - Are you going to use it again? UKRA: - Who knows?
Let's give points. Pedro and his alarm clock get one point.
That's fair. Thank you.
Two points for Ana and her hat.
They're already stealing.
Three points go to Gabriela Barros' trip to Mars.
- I think it's wrong. VASCO: - Four points for Gilmário.
And Ukra gets five points with his broken condom!
Never has a broken condom been so valuable.
AUDIENCE: Ukra!
First points given. Let's go to the first task of today.
- Markl, let's do this. - Let's go!
We thought these people were the ideal profile
for a quiet and introspective test of patience.
- These ones? - Yes.
LAUGHTER
VASCO: Press the button.
# SOFT INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
- The room of terror. - Here we are.
Hello, my little coconut pudding.
Are there beans? They're not for counting, or the program wouldn't end today.
- I have to read, right? - Let's get to it.
"Congratulations, you're hired." Damn.
"You have one hour to count the largest number of...
One hour? "You have one hour to count the largest number of beans
before you quit your new position."
"You can't be the first to quit, nor the last."
I have to make an estimate of how long the others...
"If you're the third to quit, you get five points." Wow.
"If you're the second or fourth, you win three..." Wait.
You've lost me already.
"If you're the second or fourth, you win three points."
"If you're the first or last, you get zero points."
"The test ends when you say 'I want to quit'."
"There are two..." No! I'm reading the statement.
"There are two extra points for whoever counts the most beans."
WORD CENSORED
What if I count the most beans, but I'm the last to give up?
- I have zero. Plus two? - Yes.
MARKL: - And now? - Damn.
Damn. It's random as hell.
APPLAUSE
This is perfect. It always left me a little sad.
In the games, he's always the first to be awarded.
Always. Above all, the magic of this task was in its potential
to lead the competitors to atrocious doubt, to deep anguish,
to despair and perhaps to madness.
That's what you take from this life.
In fact, they didn't have to count any beans.
It was all about knowing how to wait until the right time
to be the third to give up and thus pocket five points.
If they were second or fourth, they received three points.
And if they were first or last, round zero points.
Still, it's perverse, even for my taste,
that the wretches went to the trouble of counting beans
and then received nothing. - Exactly.
We reserved a nice two points for whoever counted the most beans.
When they wanted to finish, they just had to clearly say
the phrase "I want to quit".
I want to see people who have understood the task.
If you're not super demanding
and want to see people who more or less understood the task,
I can show you two right now. VASCO: - Two?
MARKL: - Gilmário and Gabriela. VASCO: - Let's go.
If I'm the first, it means I was the fastest.
Five minutes, I'm leaving.
If I'm the last, it means I stayed here longer.
It's a matter of time management and...
Time management and beans.
- Do you want something to drink? - I don't know.
Well... A bean.
Two beans.
I think the beans are an irrelevant variable,
since it's just an extra point for whoever counts the most beans.
- Two points. - The secret is in the first
and the last to be fired.
Are you saying you might not even count beans.
- I might not count. - Just manage your time.
I can manage my time and do a stand-up show.
If I have 20 beans here...
LAUGHTER
How many jars of beans...
It's like those math problems that never ended.
There are jokes that have to come out. You don't keep the joke stuck in your throat.
MARKL: Sure.
Whoever thinks of the snake, immediately thinks of the beginning of sin.
MARKL: The sin of the apple.
A snake that had hands to offer apples.
200,087 beans in here.
Maybe the snake was another kind of human being.
He knew what was going to happen if Eve ate the apple.
- Sure. - That screwed us all over.
We became knowers of good and evil. What for?
"You have one hour to count..."
During this hour do I have to count the beans?
And the more beans I count, the more I win the test?
Even if I say "I give up"? Didn't I understand the statement?
LAUGHTER
Regardless of the path you choose,
you will only live the joys and sorrows of that path.
Right.
The worst thing is that we didn't have any decision in that.
It was just an Adam and Eve and the snake thing.
"You have one hour to count the most..."
That's right, isn't it?
And if I get the third "pole position", I win five points.
I think I just understood.
GILMÁRIO: It was Sodom and Gomorrah.
- The Plagues of Egypt. Pharaoh... MARKL: - Terrible.
Twenty.
And there goes 40. And it's boring for them to watch me count beans.
Then, they edit this very well. It becomes fascinating for those who watch.
To pass through an open sea for the first time...
There were guys who couldn't swim. They wouldn't risk everything.
There is the first example that we shouldn't always obey
the general's law. The general only said: "Advance."
Poor things, they all died. Who didn't die? The Pharaoh.
I know. Let's do this. I counted 30 here.
Always with a compromised look.
20... 35... 40... You cut, you edit.
120, 125... You cut.
- 240. How much time? - We're at 12 minutes.
It's a good time.
They're here... 300,000 beans.
"Beans drop. That is a beans drop for you."
LAUGHTER
Gabriela wouldn't be here talking this whole time.
She's going to get annoyed, isn't she?
You guys are so bad. Do you know what I'll do to you?
Clean the floor now. And now someone comes and says: "I'll fire you."
No! I'm the one who decides when that happens.
I'm going to count some beans to try to get the two extra points.
MARKL: This test is well done.
Gilmário must have thought and must have chosen a strategic time.
Me too. One, two...
MARKL: Do you think you're in third place?
Eh pá...
What a useless life we're leading.
We're stuck in a room with a girl counting beans.
I already won the program once.
100... 105.
To this day, I have Vasco's face on top of the furniture.
People... Don't say "how cute", but they say "curious".
210.
This is a prize. "For what?" "From a program where I count beans."
- And 45. Just so it's not even. MARKL: - 245 beans.
- It's done. - My dear friends, I resign.
No! I want to quit.
MARKL WHISTLES
See you next time, Mr. Markl.
GILMÁRIO LAUGHS
GILMÁRIO: Oh mate.
LAUGHTER APPLAUSE
MARKL: - We have to talk about this. - Let's talk about the elephant in the room.
"I quit." Was that the phrase you wanted?
No, that wasn't the phrase. The phrase was "I want to quit".
VASCO: - I want to quit. - Yes.
If a person, instead of saying "I quit" or "I want to quit",
do they leave the company or not? GABRIELA: - It's not the same thing.
Taskmaster is rigorous. What does that mean?
- Is Gilmário's task over yet? - No. Actually, no.
We could call a person whose work has to be praised.
- Do you think so? MARKL: - I think so.
- Let's call Lucas. - Lucas, come here.
APPLAUSE
Do you want to know how long your task has been running?
I want to.
LAUGHTER APPLAUSE
(...)
Taskmasters, dear audience, I want to say goodbye.
Thank you.
MARKL: Lucas was hired for this. He does nothing else.
- Do you want to know Gabriela's time? - Do you have it there? I do, of course.
- 28 minutes and 31 seconds. - 28.
A little less than Gilmário's test.
I asked you to start with the best we had, which was this.
This was the cherry on top. The cherry on top of the bean pastry.
- And in the rest of the bean pastry? - The rest of the pastry has bugs.
In this case, two bugs, Ukra and Pedro Alves.
I have to get a glass to do the counting. Can I?
How am I going to do this?
I'm going to count beans. Full cup.
There must be a hell of a lot of beans. How am I going to count all these beans?
CENSORED WORD
I need to get a smaller cup.
PEDRO: Damn, you're already giving me work at this hour.
This is to see who has more patience, isn't it?
One, three, six.
I'm going to make little piles. I have an hour. Let the others wait.
One, two, three, four, five, six. I'm making piles of ten.
36, wasn't it? Was it 36? Can't you help me either?
38, 40, 42...
58, 60, 88... 90.
I'm going to count the most beans, because I have a lot of patience.
120, done. A full cup is 120 beans.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
120, more or less. 120... 240.
Are you going to count everything next? 110, 120, 200, 230.
Are you going to wait for me to count all the beans? Nice.
PEDRO COUGHS LAUGHTER
One, two, three...
360... 480.
Another 120, 500 beans.
ALARM RINGS That would make a rich feijoada.
Two, three, four... Now it's going to have to be by eye.
860... 980.
Another 120, a thousand beans. ALARM RINGS
1120. Now I'm going to stop to read again.
I can't be the first nor the last. How will I know?
Can't anyone help me? Tell me.
It says 24,496 here. I'm not going to count. It's these.
A scale. 1240 makes a kilo.
I can't be first nor last. Pipoca is going to fight.
I've already counted 1240 beans. I have no doubt about that.
You're going to have some work with me.
Now that's a good employee.
PEDRO: I'm going to put two kilos which makes 2480 beans.
Let's go for more.
3580 beans.
There are 2580 beans here.
PEDRO LAUGHS
4000. Done. It's done.
My dears, after my first day of work
and knowing that I have 24,496 beans, I want to quit.
PEDRO PLAYS TRUMPET I quit.
PEDRO PLAYS TRUMPET LAUGHTER
- I'm fired. - I want to quit.
Good luck. Good work. Mine is done.
Now you deal with yours.
LAUGHTER
PEDRO: Can't I quit?
Then, I quit. Let me quit.
I'm tired of counting beans. I don't know what to do anymore.
I'm going to count beans, how? I can't count all these beans.
I want to leave. Let me leave, please.
I want to quit. MARKL WHISTLES
Was that it? CENSORED WORD
I want to quit. I'll be the last one.
APPLAUSE
Four thousand beans. You saw the number there.
It was a lot of beans, but it was a lot of algorithm.
When I used to buy beans at the grocery store in the old days,
that's how the weighing or counting of the beans was done.
One unit had I don't know how many, it was weighed and gave the equivalent.
At the grocery store, when you added 980 with 120, did it give 1000?
The grocer, every now and then, put his fingers in the accounts.
Ukra, we quickly went from... I loved the air.
You said like this: "I have a lot of patience."
And a minute later...
A minute after discovering what the number of beans was.
- Was that what was asked? - It had nothing to do with the number.
It was the batch.
Tell me about Pedro's and Ukra's numbers.
Pedro was there for 30 minutes and 44 seconds.
Ukra was there for 19 minutes and 33 seconds.
There is a status update that can already be made.
At this point, Ukra was the first to give up.
Gabriela is in second place, Pedro is in third place.
Gilmário is unbeatable in last place.
VASCO: - What do you mean? MARKL: - He's the one who counted the most beans.
APPLAUSE Was that the idea?
VASCO: Don't forget the two points for whoever counts the most beans.
- Exactly. - You're on those points. Missing...
Ana Garcia Martins, the most patient human being in the world.
"Spoiler", I was hit with beans with a certain force.
LAUGHTER
MARKL: - Do you have a strategy? - Strategy... It's already clear.
We can all already understand who we're dealing with.
Strategy is something that doesn't exist.
The perfect thing is to finish third and count the most beans.
- And you had seven points. Incredible. - Seven... Crazy.
Imagine, I do this... Let's suppose. Let's assume...
I make a row like this and count...
- You count how many are in that... - I count those in this row.
But I'll only know how many fit on the table.
- It doesn't mean it's... - Right.
What good does that do me?
For now, I counted four. Let it be recorded. Four...
- No one will take you away now. - Four already have.
Maybe I'll start counting beans.
Six, seven, eight... 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31...
42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50.
I'm going to suffer alone, do you want to see?
I'm going to throw this on the floor, someone will pick it up.
51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57,
58, 59, 60, 61.
98, 100, 103, 104, 105, 106, 117, 118...
I don't know whether to cover the top or the bottom.
- 119, 120, 121, 122... - I'm going to turn my back.
124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129,
130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136.
48, 49, 50, 51.
MARKL: - Are you in the 100s? - 84, 85, 86, 87, 88...
89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95 96, 97, 99, 200.
MARKL: - How many do you want to get to? - Shhh. 306, 308, 309, 310. Hello.
- What's your plan? - Everything.
MARKL: - All of them in the bag? - Don't we have an hour?
MARKL: - We do. - Then...
313, 314, 315, 16, 30, 31.
- I think this is good television. - 32, 33, 333. I give up. I quit.
MARKL: - Already? - Already. That's good.
Do you think you'll be in third place?
It's like this... Attention. I want to quit.
MARKL WHISTLES Thank you. It was a good moment.
- Kisses. - My timing was perfect.
APPLAUSE
(...)
You say: "I'm here all the time." And then, you stopped at 333.
I thought it was a beautiful number. I may not have won,
but in terms of personal satisfaction, I left here very fulfilled.
I was very happy. Markl, maybe not so much.
- But I appreciated it. - Those looked like bullets.
They were coming at such a speed... Wow.
There isn't an extra point for someone who was "clean" in the test.
Someone who didn't throw beans to the ground.
Someone who thought: "There's another person who worked and did this
and will have to come here to clean up."
I think, as an emigrant, we take good care of the country.
Markl, tell us about times and results.
Ana lasted an economical nine minutes and ten seconds.
She was the first to give up, but she surpassed Gilmário,
by counting 333 beans and, therefore, earns two extra points.
Very good. How many does Gilmário receive?
- Zero. I know, send it. GABRIELA: - Zero.
MARKL: - Do you want to give a point? - What?
- Why? - Good behavior.
- He came in last? - He did.
- Then, he gets zero, of course. - Justice!
- Justice... - Gabriela, five points.
- Very good. - Yes!
VASCO: - Pedro... MARKL: - Three points.
VASCO: - And Ukra? MARKL: - Three points too.
Let's add the points from this test to the points from the test
that you brought from home, your objects.
MARKL: Gabriela is in the lead. Actually, they're tied.
Gabriela and Ukra, with eight points.
Then, there's another tie of the remaining three contestants,
Gilmário, Ana, and Pedro with four points.
VASCO: An applause for our five.
Incredible.
MARKL: They are all together on the table.
I would like to know what is the next task of this program.
Well, there's something you and the contestants have in common.
They would also very much like to know what the task is.
# SOFT INSTRUMENTAL THEME
- Hello. PEDRO: - Hello.
MARKL: Hello Gilmário. How's it going?
I've been trying to finish a book for a month.
- Let's do this. Let's go. - Let's do this?
- Welcome. - I never feel those welcomes...
- You can tell they don't come from the heart. MARKL: - They do.
- It's sunny. - Yes, and you only have one parasol.
- It's sunny. - I like your umbrella.
- No one uses a parasol. - But I want to normalize this.
- Is this to read? MARKL: - Right.
"Find and complete the real task."
I'm getting nervous.
"Each envelope has a one percent chance
of being the real task." One percent.
"Win the fastest."
"Time started when you opened the first envelope."
- This one or one of those? MARKL: - When you opened the first one.
The first envelope was this one. Is it already counting?
- Yes. Yes. ANA: - Really?
"Each envelope has a one percent chance of being the task."
How do I find that out?
Each envelope...
- How much time do I have for this? MARKL: - Win the fastest.
I open the envelope and think that that is the real task.
- How do I know if it is or not? MARKL: - Just by trying.
You're not making it easy.
CENSORED WORD
ANA SOPRA
APPLAUSE
GABRIELA: This challenge was a disaster.
VASCO: This seems to be one of those tasks
where you and I are unfairly mistreated.
Everything was right in front of them. We gave them everything they needed to know.
- And they're still ungrateful. MARKL: - That's right.
There were 99 classic task envelopes hanging on the clothesline.
There were, yes. But we're not monsters.
The 99 envelopes were hanging on the clothesline
in the shape of a beautiful, stupidly giant arrow.
- What? - That arrow was magically placed to help.
- And what was the arrow pointing at? - At the annex.
VASCO: You can't be any clearer.
The garden annex where the real task was.
And they, being intelligent people, realized it immediately, right?
Of course.
- I don't even know why we're showing this. VASCO: - Let's go to the next task.
So, they didn't find out right away?
Let's invite with the guest of the week, Ukra.
"Oh, what bad luck, this is not the real task."
# COMICAL INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
Calm down, it's underlined. Are you trying to send me a message?
- We have time, don't we? - No time. It's the fastest.
- Am I going to have to open everything? MARKL: - It's up to you.
# COMICAL INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
- What is that thing there? - I don't even know.
MARKL: You're rushing the job. Take it off right away.
- It's easier this way. - Sure.
MARKL: Do you feel like you're going in the right direction?
Isn't it the same? I'm already desperate.
Do you hope that it's the path to the solution?
- I hope so. - Maybe.
- "Xenoa"? - "Xenoa".
- "Nexoa". It can't be. - "Nexoa"?
MARKL: - I feel you're almost there. - I feel it too.
MARKL: And now? It's not that "nexoa" wasn't good.
But it doesn't mean anything. Sometimes, a small change is enough.
- And it makes sense. "Nexoa". - A small change, right?
- Sometimes, that's all it takes. - "Nexao"?
MARKL: - "Nexao". We're close. - It's messing with my head.
This X is what's driving me crazy.
Actually, it's very simple.
- What's the solution? - Anexo (Annex).
- Very good. - How dumb.
CENSORED WORD Sadness. No...
"This is the real task. Hang all the tasks on the line."
LAUGHTER
BANG
- You know who hangs the clothes? Me. MARKL: - Great.
The good thing about this is that someone is going to do worse than me.
- Are you okay? - I'm great.
This is almost hypnotic. It's very relaxing.
- Is it? - It is.
MARKL: All the tasks. That's what it said there.
What did the attachment envelope say?
It's already messing with my head.
LAUGHTER
- The attachment envelope? - I don't have it.
- Maybe it's already here. - No.
BANG
MARKL: The envelope said to put the tasks on the clothesline.
Do you have all the tasks on the clothesline?
Could this be missing? Could it also be the task?
Could it be?
No! MARKL BLOWS WHISTLE
Thank you.
LAUGHTER
UKRA TAKES A DEEP BREATH
APPLAUSE
There were two rage attacks inside the annex, weren't there?
- But I unloaded on myself. VASCO: - You unloaded?
The crux of the matter is the "xenoa", isn't it?
The X was messing with my head.
VASCO: If the man wants the annex to be "xenoa",
I think the country should respect Ukra's wish.
Whoever has an annex will have a "xenoa".
MARKL: I think so.
Whoever has a room, will have a "toraqu".
And a sunroom is a "quiseram". Let's make this clear.
If an annex is a "xenoa", everything changes.
- Congratulations on your patience. - I put all the cards straight.
That's what I was going to say. You put everything back there.
You went down, but you came back. This man deserves applause.
APPLAUSE
O Ukra was in that fight 48 minutes.
VASCO: - 48. Who are we going to see? - Pedro and Ana,
people known for their enormous patience and consideration.
I'll have to open an envelope. I'll have to be dumb. Right?
"Damn! What a shame, this is not the real task."
"What a shame. It's not the real one." This one isn't the real one either.
"Damn! What a shame, this is not the real task."
Are you kidding me.
"What a shame, it's not the real task."
"This is not the real task."
I'm looking at the ropes. The task might have to do with ropes.
I have to make the rope the same.
LAUGHTER
I don't understand what you're doing.
I'm trying to make a geometric sculpture at the envelope level.
It could be the task. "Make a rabelo boat without the front part."
We watched the action part of the test. Now it's the reflection part.
This is enough to drive a guy crazy.
- What's your idea? - Seven, eight.
Each one represents one percent.
To reach 100 percent, I need 100 envelopes.
I'm going to have to open everything.
Stay calm! Be quiet! Cooperate!
- Don't laugh. - It's desperate, isn't it?
95... I don't know if I've counted these three or not, at this moment.
- If I were you, I'd open them all. - I'm not going to open them.
- I can see through the sun. MARKL: - Will it be enough?
I just discovered that each envelope has an underlined word.
I'm going to do this whole string and I'm going to think a little more.
"This isn't the real task."
It's definitely something basic
to make me feel dumber than I usually am.
It's not going to be here. I bet it's not going to be here.
I can guarantee the answer is.
- Which one is underlined in this one? - An N. No.
Don't tell me they all have a letter underlined.
One of the underlined letters is X. X doesn't make that many words.
Could it be something nonsensical? Nonsense also has X.
- It also has X. VASCO: - Big pig!
X... E...
Axe?
LAUGHTER
It can't be to form the word "annex".
- Are you referring to one of the two cabins? - Seriously.
Where is a clothesline in the shape of an arrow pointing?
Suddenly, this is an arrow? Now it's an arrow.
- It is. - We're from the arts and we see arrows.
Ann... Annex. The annex is a shack, isn't it?
MARKL: - Yeah. - I don't know what to do.
GILMÁRIO: It's over there, Ana!
ANA IS SEETHING WITH RAGE
I must be in the right place. I can do a thousand scenes.
I can go catch butterflies. You see?
I can play golf. Am I going to have to do everything that's here?
If you look around.
MARKL: - Ah! - I'm really smart, aren't I?
"This is the real task. Hang all the tasks on the rope."
- What do I have to hang on the rope? - It's all in the envelope.
"Hang all the tasks on the rope."
# COMICAL INSTRUMENTAL THEME
What if you were crap?
I'm going to the shade. It's going to take a while.
Is it the cards I have to hang or is it what's in the shack?
LAUGHTER
- Did you come to any conclusion? - You know something? You annoy me.
- Our relationship ends here. MARKL: - Okay.
One more for the pool.
How cool. How fun.
- Do you think it's enough? MARKL: - I don't know.
- Evaluate your work. - There's one percent there.
- Is that it? - It is.
MARKL: You're opting for a safety net-free approach, aren't you?
ANA: - Bastard! - If there was a big net...
What did the envelope say?
It said to hang that envelope. I think that's the task.
If it isn't, it is now.
ANA CANTAROLA
It looks like a flag.
- That's it. I liked it. - Applause. That was nice.
I have no idea if the leaf is coming or not.
MARKL: Incredible.
- See you later. - You'll have many friends.
MARKL: Do you consider that everything is okay? Can I?
MARKL WHISTLES
LAUGHTER APPLAUSE
(...)
GILMÁRIO: That's a laugh from the devil.
It's at times like these that you think: "Why did I accept the invitation?
"Why am I here? You could be with my children
and I'm here hanging envelopes on a clothesline."
Between being with the kids and hanging... Maybe...
VASCO: Regarding Pedro's challenge, there's a moment I love.
For a little bit, you think it's necessary to hang everything in the shed.
No. It wasn't for a little bit. It was for quite a while.
LAUGHTER
Calm down, I'm not that stupid.
I'm really enjoying this task. Two contestants left.
There are, but first, let me tell you the times.
Ana, 43 minutes and 27 seconds and Pedro, 28 minutes and 23 seconds.
But he only hung just the last envelope.
VASCO: - Who's the next customer? - Gilmário.
Throughout our long and noble history of "Taskmaster",
we've seen our friend Gilmário get away handsomely
from the most diverse roasts. Will this have been the case?
That's what we're going to see.
- I have one percent. MARKL: - You do.
- One percent. And what's the task? - That's what you have to find out.
"Gee! What bad luck, this isn't the real task."
MARKL: Damn, what bad luck. You started well.
What bad luck.
"Gee! What bad luck, this isn't the real task."
- I like that expressive reading. - Yes.
I know what they wanted to write here. It wasn't "gee".
Nobody, when they have bad luck, says "gee". What is that?
Damn! "What bad luck, this isn't the real task."
"Gee! What bad luck, this isn't the real task."
- I'm finding a pattern. - There's a pattern?
- A pattern that might work. - What's the idea?
Calm down, Markl. Don't bother me. I'm trying things.
And... I'm suspecting that envelope might not be here.
It might not be here. It might be somewhere else.
The paper isn't here. This is just a waste of time. Isn't it?
Ah!
APPLAUSE
"This is the real task. Hang all the tasks on the rope."
Good thing I didn't take them all off. Damn!
I imagine who did this. Who "unhung" all the tasks...
LAUGHTER
# PACED INSTRUMENTAL THEME
- Okay. I thought it was dazzling. - High five. Wasn't it brilliant?
It's good to have an extra life in "Taskmaster".
We're starting to realize where they want to catch us.
Sure.
Surely someone took everything off and got desperate.
- Thank you for your kindness. - Thank you.
GILMÁRIO: It's me!
AUDIENCE: Gilmário!
I don't think I've ever seen you so happy in a "Taskmaster" challenge.
I was really happy. I had only "unhung"
some slight cards and it was possible to hang them in a short time.
- Two minutes? - You did eight minutes and 40 seconds.
- It's times four. - The fastest so far.
The fastest so far, yes.
Was there any reason to leave Gabriela's test for last?
Deep down, if this were a fireworks display,
the moment that follows could be the one at the end
where the sound of pyrotechnics makes that...
BOOM
VASCO: - Is Gabriela the fart? MARKL: - Yes. Let's do it.
"Oh, what bad luck, this isn't the real task."
"Oh, what bad luck, folks. This isn't the real task."
It's always the same sentence. It's not. It's not. It's not.
MARKL: - Are you enjoying it? - I'm loving it.
Is it being as fun for you as it is for me?
I'm enjoying it. This is good television.
- This is it, isn't it? There isn't one, Markl. - Yes, there is.
- You're the one who has it, aren't you? - No.
Did I mention I have a stye? Is it in the kitchen?
- Is it in the lab? MARKL: - You don't have to go that far.
Everything you need to know is in the envelope. Or in the envelopes.
"Damn! What bad luck." There's an N underlined.
N...
- Something ingenious is happening. - There's an A.
"Na".
- O. "Nao". MARKL: - "Nao".
X. "Naxo".
Are you forming a word in order?
"Xeno". And we also have an A. "Enaxo". "Noxae".
LAUGHTER
- I get it now. There's a riddle. MARKL: - Right.
- "Xenoa". - "Xenoa".
I'm really going to enjoy the moment when you figure it out.
First, there's an X, then an E, then an O, and then an A.
MARKL: - Right. - Is it a game of genders?
"Axeo".
"Oxea". In "xeo".
Eo... In X.
Is it just one word? "Oenax"?
- "Oe" in X? I don't know. - Is that a question?
- It's tic-tac-toe. - I don't think so.
This is what we've achieved so far.
I say "we", because I feel there's a partnership here.
I'm giving a lot of strength.
He's giving the one percent that the cards promise.
"Xaxone". "Xexeré". "Xaxeana".
GABRIELA: "Nanaoe". "Xaon".
- So little is missing, my God. - Should I add up the A's and E's?
MARKL: Do whatever you want. The world is yours.
I have a sty.
I don't know. I'm very demoralized. Is it a clothes rack?
The word "clothes rack". I won.
MARKL: This is undeniably a clothes rack.
- I thought you were going to say... - No. It's a clothes rack with cards.
It has a shape. It's a goal! It's a bug! A fish!
It's a pizza! It's the mouth of a shark!
- A triangle! It's a triangle. - Yes, it's a triangular shape.
- With a little tail. - Triangular tails?
LAUGHTER
- An arrow! - Catano!
Cu...
I knew it. On top of that, I knew it. Of course.
I won! "Xenao"!
I'm inside the house, I have to scream.
- Don't you understand what "xenao" is? - So, no...
MARKL: Don't you feel that you're in "xenao"?
I'm more than in "xenao".
GABRIELA SCREAMS
"This is..."
LAUGHTER
MARKL LAUGHS
You guys are no good.
What do you feel about the word "xenao"?
I'm very demoralized. I don't want to talk anymore.
I just want to do my job that is my responsibility.
- That's right. - And leave.
MARKL: It's amazing how the secret was in the annex.
And never come back.
LAUGHTER APPLAUSE
(...)
- I feel so stupid. MARKL: - Well.
Here are your shitty tests back, hanging.
I hope it was fun for you guys.
Okay. Goodbye, Markl.
Thank you, Gabriela. It was an enriching afternoon.
APPLAUSE
(...)
Sorry, this test is spectacular.
When you realize it's to the annex that you have to go,
but you still don't understand the relevance of the word "annex".
You arrive at the annex, you grab a rug and say "xenoa"!
That must be the end of the test. Epic test that ends with "xenoa".
What despair to reach that point.
Even the "delay" between Markl at the end saying...
Shhh! People saw it! They don't need to relive it.
MARKL: It's beautiful, because your head is working.
The "annex" information came in and stayed there being processed.
I was still wondering why I went through all that hell
if the only proof was to go to the annex. Anyway.
- Sure. - "Xenoa"!
MARKL: Gabriela was there for 42 minutes and 30 seconds.
- It's the third best time. - Still...
We have to go back to Gabriela's drawing.
- The drawing of the triangle with a tail? - That's it. There it is.
VASCO: - There we have the arrow. GABRIELA: - Which was the little tail.
Do you feel that this is the type of doodle
like those that Picasso did at the beginning of his career
and then brings fortune and glory to whoever owns this doodle?
I don't even think it's necessary to wait a few decades
to talk about a drawing that is worth a fortune.
And I'll tell you more, right on the day it was made
this drawing was already too valuable to be left lying around.
# RHYTHMIC INSTRUMENTAL THEME
# GABRIELA SHOUTS
A triangle with a little tail and a task that wasn't hung up.
Thank you and good morning.
AUDIENCE SHOUTS IN DISMAY
- "Xenoa"! - "Xenoa"!
- She'll stick you in an annex. VASCO: - I know what it reminds me of.
- From one to five. - Let's do it.
One point for Pedro,
two points for Gabriela, three points for Ukra,
four points for Ana and five points for Gilmário.
APPLAUSE
MARKL: Ukra has moved into the lead with 11 points.
Next, Gabriela with ten. Nine points for Gilmário.
Eight for Ana and five for Pedro.
VASCO: Applause.
APPLAUSE
VASCO: I implore for the next task. What do we have now?
We greatly value the physical, mental and emotional well-being
of our contestants. - We value?
- We value. VASCO: - Seriously?
One thing we feel during the month they are locked up
in your majestic property doing the chores
is that they don't meet new people,
and so, we brought someone for them to meet.
Who?
# SOFT INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
- Hello! Cheers! - Hello! Cheers!
My friends.
GUITAR CHORDS
Welcome.
PEDRO SINGS May the Force be with you
There's one person too many here. Is he a foreigner like me or from here?
I don't think he can speak until we...
Which side of the bed do you sleep on?
- Me? - Yes.
- This side. And you? - Also this side.
"You know this person.
"Your knowledge about this person
"will be tested in ten minutes."
"You can't write anything
"and you must take turns to ask different questions."
That part is important.
It has to be one at a time. We can't write
and we have to take turns to ask different questions.
"This person will tell the truth."
"Lie and play the good guy in that order."
"But not necessarily starting with the truth."
We're going to be tested on this person in ten minutes.
It's just to complicate things.
"Time starts now."
What's your idea of acting tough? With your chest puffed out?
It's simpler than that.
Acting tough, come on.
APPLAUSE
(...)
We kidnapped a man, a poor man,
and we kidnapped him to live with these absolute savages.
Vasco, for now we'll call him "subject under analysis."
They had to ask him questions,
while behind them I was happy,
because none of them were born with eyes in the back of their heads.
VASCO: - And why? - For starters, it would be grotesque.
And then, because facing the "subject under analysis"
I had the mission of skillfully handling
an apparatus formed by three table tennis rackets
with which I was indicating to the subject under analysis
whether he had to answer with truth, lie or bluff.
It should be said that they couldn't take any notes...
Nothing. They had to memorize everything in their confused heads
and then take the final exam. - A final exam on what?
On the "subject under analysis".
- Name. What's your name? - Manuel Santos Silva.
He may be lying. Better ask something else.
- Are you a man or a woman? - I'm a great man.
PEDRO: Now, he didn't lie.
- What's your name? - Jaime Baeta de Almeida.
Seems true to me.
- Where are you from? - I'm from Leiria.
- Are you from Lisbon? - Yes.
- What is it to be from Lisbon? - Oh man! Alright.
Quinta da Marinha.
- How old are you? - 32.
That's true. You look at him and he's 32 years old.
- He's more worn out than us. - Okay, but he's 32 years old.
- That's true. - Manuel Santos Silva.
- Yes, but that's a lie. - Are you sure?
- How old are you? - 36.
- What do you do? - I'm the CEO of a startup.
CEO of a startup. He's showing off.
Ukra: Girlfriend.
- Did she reply to you? - No.
He's getting upset. Are you upset with us?
I would never get upset with you guys.
- But do you have a girlfriend or not? - I do.
- Do you work with? - Nanotechnology.
- That's a lie. - Short people.
- Are you married? - No.
- Do you have children? - Yes.
- Do you play handball? - No, he plays rugby.
No.
- Water polo. - I used to be better.
He's showing off.
- What's your favorite sport? - Golf.
- What should we ask? - Are you a vegetarian?
No.
- What's your favorite dish? - Shepherd's pie.
He seemed sincere and simple.
- What shoe size do you wear? - 41.
41. That's true.
Have you always lived in Portugal or have you lived in other countries?
- I've lived in other countries. - Which ones?
- Australia, New Zealand... - He's lying.
- Thailand. - Places with a lot of money.
- Do you dye your hair? - Yes.
He's lying. How many times do you go there per week?
I can't even count.
LAUGHTER
- We're arriving... UKRA: - Did you see this?
- Standing or lying down? - What are we talking about?
About what you pretended to be good at.
LAUGHTER
It depends.
- How old are your children? - I don't have children.
Look now...
- Do you have siblings? - I do.
- This one is true. - It was felt.
If you're 41 years old like you say, you have to dye your hair.
No one has hair that color. What is that? What kind of drain is that?
- That's a drain... Is that drain 35? - It is.
Farandol. My mother used to use that.
- How many languages do you speak? - Five.
SPEAKS ENGLISH: - Do you speak English? SPEAKS ENGLISH: - Of course.
What's your favorite mode of transportation?
- Motorcycle. - Motorcycle.
Liar.
- Where do you spend your summer? - In Leiria.
ANA: She's from Quinta da Marinha and goes to Leiria for vacation?
Even I, a foreigner, know that can't be true.
MARKL WHISTLES It's over.
Okay, dye your hair with farandol.
Thank you all. It was a pleasure. See you soon.
Mr. Nuno, we enjoyed seeing you.
PEDRO SINGS Let the Force be with us
- Thank you. MARKL: - Magnificent.
See you soon.
APPLAUSE
I'm launching the general question.
Did you try to figure out the right order, truth, lie, bluff,
or just by the speed or the sincerity in the boy's eyes,
did you try to understand what he meant by the answers?
- Gabriela? - That's it, the sincerity in his eyes.
We more or less realized when he was telling the truth.
When he thought for a nanosecond he might be lying.
VASCO: What flowing hair was that?
He said he was single and I tried...
The person is always.
Speaking of hair, hair dye?
- Hair dye? - Yes, hair dye.
My mother used hair dye. Not anymore.
She let her hair go white, but she used to use hair dye.
I remember going with her to the hairdresser
and she put a helmet on her head, she stayed there for two hours,
she came out two meters taller... And it was hair dye.
With the sun it had a tonality, it looked like magnesium.
They seemed to me extremely articulated interrogations,
intelligent, with approaches that ranged from hair dye to seduction.
But we want to know how the two teams fared.
when they had to tell the truth about the "subject under analysis."
Welcome to the exam. You may sit down.
ANA: - Here we are. - Let's get to your exam.
I'm going to start asking questions about the person you met.
I'm so nervous.
- What's his name? - Jaime Baeta...
- Almeida. - Almeida.
It was something that sounded rich.
Manel. Or Manuel.
- What's your name? - My name is Jaime Baeta de Almeida.
- Where is he from? - Quinta da Marinha.
Leiria.
ANA, GABRIELA: He's not from Quinta da Marinha.
- No. - No, he even had...
GILMÁRIO: - I felt Margem Sul. - No. It's a Lumiar.
It's almost good, but not quite.
- I'll invent it. ANA: - I vote for Lumiar.
I'm from Paços de Arcos, Oeiras.
It's the same.
MARKL: - How old is he? - He said 35.
32.
If he has, it's 37. We lost by a little.
I'm 32 years old.
- What's his profession? - It's not nano thingy.
He's not a nanotechnologist.
CEO in a startup.
- He's PT. - PT... I think so.
I'm an administrative assistant in a family business.
- What sport does he play? - He used to.
- Water polo. - Water polo.
I've played rugby. Water polo, no.
I think his sport is social climbing,
because he talks about golf, talks about Quinta da Marinha.
- Trust me. Soccer. MARKL: - Soccer?
Right now with friends I play tennis, paddle tennis, surf and soccer.
- What shoe size does he wear? - 41.
41.
- Does he have children? - He does and he doesn't.
- He doesn't. - He doesn't.
MARKL: - Do you have children? - No.
- Is he married? GILMÁRIO, ANA: - No.
I'm not married.
Does he have a girlfriend? And for how long?
From what we understand, he had a girlfriend recently.
It's not really official yet.
More official for him than for her.
I see a fierce investigation.
- Something for three months. - Three months.
MARKL: Does he have a girlfriend? And for how long?
I've had a girlfriend for ten years.
- Where do you usually spend your vacation? - Leiria, no.
I usually spend my vacation in Tavira.
- Do you want to go ahead with any? - Costa da Caparica.
Monte Gordo.
- Do you think he dyed his hair? - Farandol, shade 34.
Or 35?
I don't dye.
- Have you ever used Farandol? - Never. I don't even know what it is.
- What's his favorite dish? - The meat pie.
It seemed like something a macho who doesn't know how to cook would like.
My favorite dish is meat pie.
See?
What's his favorite mode of transportation?
- The motorbike. - The motorbike.
- That's a thong. - It's a thong? Then it's not the motorbike.
I think he walks.
I think he rides an electric scooter.
He's the CEO of a startup. This whole staff is already...
- And I don't know if he has a driver. - For the scooter?
- In which countries has he lived? - Only Portugal.
I've only lived in Portugal.
- How many languages does he speak? - He said five. It's a lie.
He must speak English and Portuguese.
I speak three languages. I speak Portuguese, English, and Spanish.
How many times does he go there per week?
- There are seven days in a week. MARKL: - Right.
- Three months into the relationship? - Three months...
- Twice a day. - Yeah, cool.
And if he goes home for lunch, it's three.
I'm not the one who controls it, but once or twice.
- Do you usually go there standing up or lying down? - It depends.
- Standing up? - Standing up, by the leather.
He has good thighs. He must be strong at squatting.
Your exam is over.
You will know the answers later in the studio.
The exam is done. Thank you.
- Did we get it right or not? - You'll know later.
Why don't you ever say things right away?
Is there a fridge there?
APPLAUSE
Let us remember that in the group, team tests,
there are five points to be divided between the two teams.
And at this point we need to know the number of correct answers
that one team gave and the other team gave.
MARKL: The team formed by Gilmário, Ana and Gabriela
got 12 correct answers. VASCO: - 12!
The team formed by Pedro and Ukra got four correct answers.
And so we have for Pipoca, Gabriela and Gilmário...
- Three points. VASCO: - And for Pedro and Ukra?
MARKL: - Two points. VASCO: - Very good. An applause.
Better than nothing. Better than a kick in the ass.
Send the points over there.
MARKL: That being said, Gabriela moves to the front.
In fact, they are both, Gabriela and Ukra, with 13 points
followed by Gilmário with 12. 11 for Ana and seven for Pedro.
VASCO: An applause.
APPLAUSE
Having said that, I believe that now a task awaits us
that requires spirit and organizational skills.
Spirit and organizational skills are this program's middle name.
VASCO: - That's right. - Throughout all these seasons
what we have seen the most are organized people
and giving free rein to their spirit.
And here we are giving them another opportunity.
# SOFT INSTRUMENTAL THEME
Ukra... How's it going?
- Hello, Mr. Markl. MARKL: - How's it going? All good?
- All good? - What a huge joy.
- Is it here? First, a hug. - Let's get to it.
I like affection so much. Sometimes I don't get enough.
In this program. Thank you for that, Ukra.
Such a beautiful day, you had to show up.
Let's see what we have to do.
"Place the tarp completely inside one of the containers.
"You have a maximum of five minutes.
"Also, you have to leave everything tidy at the end of the five minutes."
"The smallest container that contains the tarp inside wins."
- Is this hard? MARKL: - What?
The tarp?
I don't have tarps at home. I don't know if it's pliable.
- What you see is what it is. GABRIELA: - Can't I even touch it?
- Feel it? MARKL: - No, not yet.
"Time starts after you select the container."
"In the next..."
In the next?
"In the next 30 seconds."
If I put it in the smallest thing I win.
MARKL: Right.
- Can I move them? - Yes.
Of course.
Right...
I'm going to choose... I don't want to choose any.
Why?
APPLAUSE
I just wanted to confess that when I imagined this task
my dream was that this would be done with a circus tent.
I dreamed of seeing these people trying to fold a circus tent.
The tent of a Chen, the tent of a Cardinali...
I know, but getting a tent like that and of that size
was the kind of thing to leave this production on the ropes.
What I liked about this tarpaulin is that being stupidly large
it still creates in fragile minds an idea that well folded
is able to fit into any container.
- But which one, Markl? - First of all,
let's see how not to understand the task in its entirety.
- I'll choose the trash can. - Five minutes from now.
I'll choose the trash can.
Just one question, can what's here stay here?
MARKL: - Which one do you choose? - This one.
The bread box? Okay.
Just remember that everything has to be put away in the end.
CENSORED SPEECH You could have told me sooner.
All the information you need is in the envelope.
It isn't. That's the problem, you guys assuming things.
No, it isn't.
There are decisions you have to make yourself.
All of them.
Come what may.
I, in women's houses, am good at folding.
I'm the one who folds the sheets.
# SOFT INSTRUMENTAL THEME
It looks like I'm camping.
Sometimes I have to fold the sheets at home.
MARKL: - Yes. - You know ?
- Won't you give me a hand? - I can't.
- How long do I have? - It's five minutes.
This will be two minutes to fold and three to put it in there.
# SOFT INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
- Don't you have scissors there? MARKL: - No.
ANA: There's no way in hell this shit is going to fit in there.
- I made the wrong choice. PEDRO: - What stupidity.
Why did I choose the toilet paper bucket?
- More than half of it is sticking out. - It's already gone in a bit.
Yeah.
# RHYTHMIC INSTRUMENTAL THEME
You're stupid, Pedro.
#
- Do you have to go in there too? - Whatever you want.
How am I going to get this in here? Does it really have to be in this one?
MARKL: That's what you chose.
Damn it! It seems to get even bigger.
How is this going to fit in here?
It is. Just for a little bit.
- Don't you want to step on it more? - Isn't it?
It's going to be impossible.
15 seconds.
How stupid I am. I'm stupid.
I went straight for the smallest one.
I thought I could fit it in, but I won't be able to.
I'm not used to it.
MARKL WHISTLES Time's up.
LAUGHTER # FUN INSTRUMENTAL THEME
- Forget it! Impossible. - Time's up.
MARKL WHISTLES
You think you can...
CENSORED SPEECH I give up. It's over.
I'm not playing this anymore. Bye. MARKL WHISTLES
- I gave up first. - I'm just making it official.
- I'm the one who gave up. - Right.
It wasn't you who made me give up.
APPLAUSE
People who chose the trash can, Pedro and Pipoca, why?
I was ambitious, clearly. I thought that nicely folded...
There was a moment there when I thought it could happen,
but I quickly realized that it wouldn't, and I regretted it.
I think it's funny to share the measurements both of the tarp and the bin.
The tarp is six meters by ten.
- The bin is 38 cm high. MARKL: - Right.
- I just wanted to leave this... - Why didn't you share that there?
- It's irrelevant now. MARKL: - It would lose its charm.
Pedro, you didn't give up.
I've shoved bigger things in smaller places...
And I got away with it, so...
Besides...
If it's not like that, no one will get anywhere.
Ukra decided to shove that in the bread box.
- It was in hope. VASCO: - Was it?
Who's next?
Next up are Gilmário Vemba and Gabriela Barros,
a collective that I like to call Gabrimário Barremba.
MARKL: - Let's go! - Go.
It's... It's... It's...
- It's here. The suitcase. - Five minutes from now.
# RHYTHMIC INSTRUMENTAL THEME
I'm not pregnant anymore, but I have a stye.
You guys, really.
- It's going to be here. - The bag. Let's do this.
# RHYTHMIC INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
- How much time do I have? - You have four minutes.
- Are you good at folding tarps? - I've never folded one.
MARKL: Like it's a sheet.
GILMÁRIO: It has to be well folded to fit.
# MARKL LAUGHS
MARKL: This is going to be taken out of context. Memes will be made.
Why do I think I'm doing well?
- How much time, Markl? - Three minutes.
Do I have more time? That's the advantage of traveling a lot.
You must be great at packing.
Look!
MARKL: - Is it done? - Calm down. I'm tidying up.
# RHYTHMIC INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
Can I take what's inside?
Yes. Don't forget to tidy everything up at the end.
No!
What is tidying up? Tidying up in here?
Everything has to be tidy, everything beautiful.
- You can't see, right? MARKL: - Right.
Anyway, all the information is in the envelope.
# SOFT INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
My God, your pride.
#
- Ta-da! - May I?
You can. MARKL WHISTLES
GABRIELA SCREAMS
It was so fast. I think something is wrong.
I already injured myself.
- I'm trusting you. - Okay.
I don't want to get to the studio and you tell me I misread. I read it right.
MARKL: It calls attention.
# FUN INSTRUMENTAL THEME
MARKL: I don't know if I can consider this test complete.
- Why? MARKL: - Everything has to be tidy.
I have a feeling... No.
There was a...
GABRIELA SCREAMS
MARKL WHISTLES
Thank you, Gabriela. It was intense, it was good... I liked it.
I'm going to take a nap. I'll be right back.
You guys are worthless.
LAUGHTER APPLAUSE
VASCO: - It was beautiful. - I don't want to talk.
Why?
You should have said that the balloon escaped.
- I'm very upset. - And I'm very happy.
There was a balloon that escaped. Markl, results.
Gilmário managed to do two minutes and 39 seconds.
Gabriela didn't make it. And let's go to the score.
One point for Ana Garcia Martins, because she gave up.
Then with two points Pedro, Ukra and Gabriela.
And Gilmário with five points.
VASCO: An applause for Gilmário Vemba.
APPLAUSE
The five points for Gilmário should affect the standings.
At this point, how are things?
Gilmário had 12.
MARKL: Gilmário moves into the lead with 17 points.
Tied with 15, Gabriela and Ukra.
Twelve for Ana and nine for Pedro.
VASCO: - Very good. PEDRO: - I'm not kidding.
I'm not kidding.
We never really know what to expect from these people.
No. Which brings us to the next task.
# SOFT INSTRUMENTAL THEME
How's it going?
- I have a stye. - That's very annoying.
- Well... - Mathematics.
- How's it going? - Is it good, Mr. Nuno?
- Always a pleasure. SPEAKS ENGLISH: - 500.
- It's getting more and more... - Elaborate, isn't it?
It's the first time we've had an image projection.
Hello, you piece of trouble. How are we?
- Good thing? - Here it is.
- Is it a good thing? - Always good.
What panic in your eyes.
# SOFT INSTRUMENTAL THEME
"Do the most unpredictable thing at the end of the 500 seconds."
"Win the most unpredictable thing."
"Time starts now." MARKL SNAPS HIS FINGERS
- Most unpredictable thing. - Yes.
500 seconds. How much is that? 500 divided by 60...
- It's doing the math, isn't it? - It's doing the math.
If I try to fall asleep here it's unpredictable.
APPLAUSE
I don't even remember what I did.
We wanted surprise, we wanted unpredictability...
Some important things.
They could only do the most unpredictable thing at the end of the count.
Only at the end.
I strongly wish to be surprised.
I hope you will be.
Let's start by seeing Gabriela Barros' surprise.
Is the surprise going to be your appearance? I'm not seeing it yet.
Right now we're at 212.
GABRIELA: - How much? - 210.
What a drag. I'm so tired.
- 195. - I'm so out of shape.
- The surprise isn't the robe. - It was.
- It was, just that? I see. - Just that?
- How many times have you seen me in a robe? - Indeed, not many.
So, what's the plan?
Here we go.
MARKL BREATHES DEEPLY LAUGHTER
I can't stand still, or I'm out of the picture.
This is a dog's life.
The way they treat you on this program...
- Terrible. - You should ask for more money.
- I don't know how much you earn... - I'll ask, then.
- 100... - Health and whatnot, do they pay for it?
- No. - Those company things.
I'm a lone wolf, walking in the forest of life.
Right...
One minute left.
Do you think it'll be worth all this waiting?
- Is it going to be amazing? - It will.
GABRIELA GROANS IN PAIN What's wrong?
What's happening?
Wait a minute. Is this already part of it? 20 seconds left.
GABRIELA SCREAMS
- Wait! I'm feeling bad. - So?
- I'm feeling bad. - Oh my God.
Wait a minute.
GABRIELA MOANS IN PAIN
Zero.
GABRIELA SCREAMS APPLAUSE
(...)
GABRIELA CRIES APPLAUSE
PEDRO: Very good.
Shhh!
GABRIELA IMITATES A BABY SUCKLING GABRIELA SCREAMS IN PAIN
MARKL: - Is there more? - But it's so beautiful.
- I thought more would come out. - She's suckling.
She's suckling, of course. She was born with teeth.
Thank you. I liked it a lot. It was beautiful.
The miracle of life is always a beautiful thing to see.
And unexpected. And when you don't know you're pregnant...
That's right.
And this physical shape right after?
Incredible.
I wanted to have shown the skirt. It was part of the...
- Of the event? - It's the blood.
- Thank you. - Bye.
LAUGHTER
I liked it.
- He got scared. - It looked like "Alien".
Gabriela fools everyone at first,
thinking it was just "look at me in a bathrobe".
- And this, "is that the surprise?". - It has several phases.
And suddenly, this woman, she gave birth,
and when she picks up the child and suffers with that first nursing
this beast goes and asks, "is there another one there?".
At one point I thought everything was possible.
VASCO: An applause for Gabriela Barros.
Our actress, winner of a Golden Globe.
Markl, I want to nibble a bit more on this surprise buffet,
so what are you going to put on my plate now?
Now, you're going to ingest a fine delicacy called Ukra.
50. 49.
That's not what's surprising yet, you show up in a bathrobe.
- Isn't it? - I already find it surprising.
- I went to the spa. - Splendid.
- Is it bad? - It's great.
- I wish I could walk around in a bathrobe. - I'm a box of surprises.
20, 19, 18...
- Where do you want me to stand? - Here, in the middle.
- Think of this as a stage. - Can you see well?
- I'm a little scared. - You're scared?
- There are children watching this. - Are there?
Zero.
# SENSUAL INSTRUMENTAL THEME LAUGHTER
# (...)
UKRA: But better than one are two.
MARKL: What?
# APPLAUSE
- Do you have a leopard one? - What about the ones missing here?
- I need your assessment. MARKL: - Yes.
- It's a bit loose in the back. - Is it?
MARKL: - It is. It's torn. - It has to fit well to hold.
- Of course. The microphone too... - Adds weight.
- But other than that... - I always carry this with me.
MARKL: - You carry that in the car. - Always.
Two more to go.
- Do you have four different models? - I do.
That's amazing. In what situations do you usually use that?
- It depends on the parties. MARKL: - Right.
I once tried one at home. They sent me.
This one fits well on the body. Don't I look sexier?
Not in my case. Just pulling those things made...
- What do you think? - It looks great on you.
You were born to wear that. It could be your everyday wear.
- Do you know how to squat? - How is it?
LAUGHTER
APPLAUSE
It's always a pleasure.
Ladies and gentlemen, Ukra.
Let's then...
I was there taking off my clothes.
I knew someone was going to do it.
In a way, it was also attacking Markl. My eyes.
MARKL LAUGHS
APPLAUSE
VASCO: How do you put that on?
It's simple. It's just one piece of clothing.
- Yes, but it's because... - Underneath.
You fit it, and then the butt will scare you.
If you want it higher or lower.
GILMÁRIO: Does that come in different sizes?
- It's one size fits all. - It won't fit me.
It won't fit. I'm size...
APPLAUSE
Markl, what was that board we saw at the end?
It was a series of rules that could happen,
which would make the test not unpredictable.
Attacking Markl, taking off clothes,
doing a silly dance, screaming or being verbally aggressive
and finally farting.
All these things have already happened throughout the history of the program.
Yes. I clamor for more surprising solutions.
What are you going to show?
Ana Garcia Martins is the person who follows.
What is the most unpredictable thing?
We should debate the concept of unpredictable.
- What do you mean by unpredictable? - Imagine...
Anything I do no one is expecting.
MARKL: In principle.
What wouldn't people imagine me doing?
Let's think about it.
- This is a very rich house. - It has a lot of things. History.
Maybe what I want is here.
- I'm going to look. - Okay.
I sense that I will suffer now for revenge.
# SOFT INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
And that's it.
He went home.
He got in the car and went home.
LAUGHTER
It's tremendously silent. I don't think she's coming back.
LAUGHTER
Damn! I wasn't expecting that. Well played.
Maybe I'll call her.
While I'm at it...
PHONE RINGS
Yes? Did you leave?
ANA: - Is everything okay? - Everything's fine.
I'm here waiting. The 500 seconds are up.
ANA: And I didn't come back. Wasn't that unexpected?
- Did you really go home? ANA: - No.
I came to eat snails at Fonte da Telha.
I feared this might happen. I didn't imagine it would.
But it's okay.
AMA: - You weren't expecting that. - No.
ANA: "Went to eat some clams à Bulhão Pato."
- You weren't expecting snails. - Snails, perfect.
ANA: Bye. Good health. Bye.
Thank you. Bye.
Okay. He went to eat snails to Fonte da Telha.
That being said... okay.
- He got sad. MARKL: - He got sad.
He wanted action, didn't he? You wanted action, fun...
- He caught me off guard. - Was it unexpected or not?
VASCO: Sometimes, the best thing is not to show up.
That's true. I felt that many times on this program.
The best thing was not to show up at all.
VASCO: - Were the snails good? - They were very good.
- Fonte da Telha on a beautiful day? - Very good.
VASCO: And now, who's next?
An intense person who in his daily life is surprising
and who I always feel can cause an accident
in which he or other people may be victims.
Ladies and gentlemen, Pedro Alves.
PEDRO: 500 seconds how long is that?
Christ! What the hell.
I didn't open anything. What am I going to do?
Glasses. Some crap. SPEECH CENSORED
OBJECT SLIDES
Good afternoon. Home delivery service
from the Equestrian Knights of the Round Table.
- An order from Mr. Nuno Markl. - Right.
An order which, due to its quite beautiful shape,
geometrically rounded... - Thank you very much.
We most nobly come to deliver with all pleasure and horsemanship
your order. - Right.
Pleasure and horsemanship?
A cookie with chocolate chips.
Thank you very much. Thank you. I needed a snack.
PEDRO: I knew it. I have to get a life.
It was surprising.
Now, I have a pizza.
MARKL: There's a question here,
we hadn't reached the end of the 500 seconds yet.
It wasn't over yet either.
MARKL: Okay.
Something surprising has to happen when we get to zero.
- Yes? - I liked this.
- Let's do something surprising. - Do you have any hidden talents?
30 seconds.
Do you know what my most hidden talent is?
It's cutting off fingers.
I'm just not going to cut another one so as not to surprise anyone.
I'm going about my life. I have deliveries to make.
In ten seconds you should do something surprising.
- Something surprising. - Yes.
That's what I did.
It had to be when it reached zero.
Two, one... Zero!
LAUGHTER APPLAUSE
(...)
MARKL: That was intense.
Ukra: Very good.
Christ, why do I get involved in this?
This was a remake of "The Shining"
but instead of a bathroom door and an axe
we had a shower curtain and a Toys"R"Us sword.
- You did everything too early. - It's on impulse. I do.
I read and then shoot. And then I think about the questions.
Only then I noticed.
Someone is still missing.
Gilmário is missing. And it was intense.
It was... intense.
- Most unpredictable thing. - Yes. You can...
Thank you very much.
I think I was too unpredictable.
- I wasn't expecting that. - This is what unpredictability is.
Turn off the machine. Let's go.
It could hit you.
But I don't do those things.
I prefer to hit the thing. Aren't you going to whistle?
I'm going, but the test said it was at the end of 500 seconds.
Okay.
Okay. I've already spent something very unpredictable.
I loved it. It was unpredictable.
We have time. I just don't know how to assemble this.
- I thought it was wonderful. - How do I see my 500.
MARKL: You deserved some kind of an honorable mention...
- Because of this... MARKL: - I loved it.
Wait a minute!
Now I'm here fighting with a frame
that was very well assembled. MARKL: - A piece is missing.
- It's not necessary. MARKL: - No?
There were the predictions.
This is counting.
MARKL: No, it's over there. This one doesn't need time.
This one is more for me.
Okay. See you later.
# SOFT INSTRUMENTAL THEME
What an incredible kick.
- 30 seconds. - 30 seconds.
- Does it really have to be on the... - When it reaches zero.
This was supposed to be revealed only at the end.
LAUGHTER
- Were you expecting this? - No.
I thought you were going to destroy the projector.
I liked it.
I got two scares in the last few minutes.
And for me... That kick was beautiful.
- Ninja style. - It really was.
GILMÁRIO: - You should try to do it. - Yes.
It's a thing, like... I don't know if you can do it.
- I'll do the stance first. - Yes.
Prepare the rotation. The foot that hits is this one.
GILMÁRIO SCREAMS
MARKL SCREAMS LAUGHTER
Very good.
- Thank you very much. - Thank you.
And I threw my back out.
APPLAUSE
PEDRO: It was an immediate zinger.
I thought I was surprisingly agile.
- You? - For the level of what I do... Zero.
Yes, yes. Gilmário, it was all very fast.
It is what it is. Sometimes in life we have to go beyond time.
But we wanted unpredictable things
and looking at the board
and taking into account that one of our competitors
was predictable, because he did something that was on your list,
which was taking off his clothes, I'm going to give a point to Ukra,
with an extra point, because seeing Ukra that way,
with that bathing suit deserves an extra point.
I thought it was because of the second suit.
I thought it was because of the second fact.
One plus one for Ukra. I'll give Gilmário two points.
Pedro Alves gets three points,
because he managed to do a "Little Shining" at zero.
- "Little Shining"... - Between Pipoca, who didn't show up,
and Gabriela, who performs the miracle of life,
I'll give Ana Garcia Martins four points
and I'll give Gabriela Barros five points,
who thus achieves the most unpredictable thing, gave birth.
Blood.
Markl, send the points to the screen,
because before the final test we're going to see how things are.
MARKL: Gabriela moves forward with 20 points.
Then Gilmário with 19. Ukra with 17.
Ana with 16 and Pedro with 12 points.
VASCO: An applause for everyone.
APPLAUSE
One task remains and the winner receives five points.
Only Pedro can't win today's "Taskmaster",
because even with five he can't surpass Gabriela.
Let's go to the last task here in the studio.
Make some noise for our five magnificent ones.
APPLAUSE
- Nuno, let's do this? MARKL: - Let's go!
Let's go to the task that puts an end to this "Taskmaster"?
MARKL: - Let's do it. - Let's go.
I'm going to hand it to Ukra, our guest, to read.
VASCO: An applause for the great Ukra.
APPLAUSE
"Throw the largest number of forks into your bucket.
"You can throw a fork after each complete turn in your chair.
"You must remain seated in your chair for the entire duration of the task
"and you cannot move your chair. You have 100 seconds."
MARKL: You have to hit your bucket with the fork.
However, if someone else's forks hit your bucket, it counts.
- Let's do this? - Yes.
MARKL WHISTLES This is clogged.
Do you have to turn around?
Bingo!
# RHYTHMIC INSTRUMENTAL THEME
PEDRO: Bingo!
Bingo!
Who are you throwing at?
Let me rotate to the other side.
Now, I'm going to rotate to this one.
MARKL: - 30 seconds. VASCO: - 30 seconds, guys.
# RHYTHMIC INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
MARKL WHISTLES APPLAUSE
This was overwhelming.
GILMÁRIO: Is anyone else dizzy?
Let's go to Ana's bucket. One fork, two, three, four.
One is mine.
Gilmário's bucket has one, two, three,
four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine,
ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen,
fourteen, fifteen.
- Aren't there any more? MARKL: - Ready.
Gabriela. One, two, three,
four, five, six, seven.
PEDRO: There's a blue one over there.
- This bucket is heavy. - One, two,
three, four, five, six, seven...
GILMÁRIO: - It seemed like there were more. - And added up.
VASCO: - Ukra! - Ukra!
One, two, three,
four, five, six, seven, eight.
GILMÁRIO SHOUTS WITH JOY APPLAUSE
The great winner of "Taskmaster" today is Gilmário Vemba!
AUDIENCE: Gilmário, Gilmário...
Before we go, we have to answer the question the whole country is asking,
what did we learn today on "Taskmaster"?
Why such a serious face? Drop the tough act.
You take off that robe and make love to a tarp.
Then fold it with care as if it were a sheet.
"Your hair smells so good." I know, it's farandole.
Look carefully for the task, look everywhere.
And pay attention to what might peek when you squat down.
And in this family program whoever comes stays aimless.
A Jaime is a Manel and an annex is a "xenoa".
This was "Taskmaster". See you next week!
Gilmário Vemba, the great winner!
# TASKMASTER THEME APPLAUSE
# (...)
# LAUGHTER
# APPLAUSE
Adaptation and Subtitles RTP - Adapted Content