# TASKMASTER THEME
- Are you patient? - I am. I have nothing to do.
I think I'm the Mourinho of digital.
This is the happiest day of my life.
# TASKMASTER THEME
# IMITATE A SEAL
#
- You're a Greek god. - Congrats, Markl.
It was one of the scariest things I've ever experienced in my entire life.
[APPLAUSE]
(...)
- I can't read anything. - Me neither.
Good evening, eager crowd hungry for other people's suffering.
This is your weekly meeting point with five celebrities
whose careers are stable.
They didn't have to be here. They didn't have to prove anything to anyone.
However, they are here living adventures on a tightrope without a net,
where the fall into the dark, cold and deep abyss of shame
is a measly distance from a rubber duck.
All so that, in the end, one of them takes this home.
This is the best trinket, the most golden that has ever adorned
their shelves, perhaps their psyches.
This is "Taskmaster"!
[APPLAUSE]
Welcome!
Next to me, a man who confided in me a little while ago
that the best method to maintain a healthy diet is one and only one.
Don't cut your toenails.
He says that the mere idea of falling to the side
and the hospital "staff", upon taking off his shoes and socks,
seeing those bird-of-prey claws is enough to cut down on sugars
and fats and to eat more vegetables.
That's it. I can't allow you to see this.
Ladies and gentlemen, our bird of prey, Nuno Markl!
MARKL GRASNA APPLAUSE
Thank you. It takes very little to make me restless.
Take care of that. Today, before me, before you,
that applause for Ana, our Pipoca.
Gilmário Vemba!
Gabriela Barros!
Pedro Alves!
And our guest today, Sílvia Alberto!
- Good evening, everyone. Hello, Sílvia. - Hello!
It's no lie... I can even share this little secret.
- You really wanted to be here. SÍLVIA: - Since the first edition.
You premiered "Taskmaster" and what did I say?
VASCO: - "I want to go." - I want to go. Look at the misery.
We're on the fifth.
All that's left to say is: "It was the last one. So, we invited you."
Aren't you afraid of looking ridiculous? That's the question Portugal is asking.
No. I felt ridiculous doing all the "Taskmaster" tasks.
I had a lot of fun. I like to laugh at myself.
It's a pleasure to have you here. Welcome and good evening, everyone.
May it be an excellent round of challenges.
And let's start with a proof that always comes from home from these five.
What we ask our contestants today...
- What was it, Nuno Markl? - This was shaky today.
Or we wouldn't have asked them to bring from home
the most satisfying thing that shakes like jelly.
VASCO: Ana, Pipoquita, what did you bring that shakes?
I brought something that I think meets the two requirements asked.
- Can we show the image? VASCO: - Let's do it.
It's an electric toothbrush.
On the one hand, it shakes like jelly.
And why is it satisfying? Because it's my daughter's toothbrush.
When I hear it working, the satisfaction it gives me knowing that,
after 837 requests and screams "go brush your teeth",
she finally went and is brushing her teeth.
- Nothing that gives me more joy. - It's from "Frozen", isn't it?
It's from "Frozen". And she finishes and says: "It's over, it's over."
VASCO: - Your little daughter's toothbrush. - Yes, but the pleasure is mine.
A round of applause for Beni's toothbrush.
APPLAUSE
Gilmário, what brings you here?
I brought something I never thought would be useful in life.
The person who invented it is a genius. It jiggles like jelly.
And it sells more than jelly.
But in terms of satisfaction, it annoys my wife. It's win-win.
- I brought "slime." - "Slime."
I never understood the point of this toy.
I just know the kids love it and it annoys my wife.
- It gets the whole house dirty. ANA: - You're not the one who cleans.
In our day, there was something called Blandi Blub.
It was green. It would fall on the floor and pick up everything that was on the floor.
- Crumbs, hairs. - It was kept in a bucket.
It was a bucket, yes. It was disgusting, but it was amazing.
Even today, that's the usefulness of this toy.
VASCO: A round of applause for "slime." Thank you, Gilmário.
"Slime."
APPLAUSE
VASCO: Miss Barros, Gabriela, what did you bring today?
I brought you something that not only...
Maybe I should already have extra points for this. It's an idea.
ANA: - Let's start. -Not only does it tremble, but the person trembles.
It's a two-in-one. And it brings satisfaction to the one who does it,
because they see the other person in a pure state of satisfaction,
and it brings a lot of satisfaction to the one being satisfied.
- It's pure satisfaction. GILMÁRIO: - I'm already scared.
- The object itself is satisfaction. - Yes. I'll show you now.
- It's a massager. - Oh.
GABRIELA: - It's a massager. GILMÁRIO: - Good thing.
I got worried with that satisfaction thing.
PEDRO: It looks like a Black & Decker.
- You can use it for several things. - To wake up the neighbor.
There you go, you need to put a nail in the wall.
You don't have a hammer, actually.
You want to punch someone in the street. It's satisfaction on all levels.
That's it. That's what I have to say.
VASCO: Gabriela could work on those shopping channels.
GABRIELA: - I can't hear you. - It was just that tone.
- I'm convinced. VASCO: - Pedro Alves.
PEDRO: I'm amazed by Gabriela,
because she can sell, no problem, a powdered aluminum steak.
- And people buy it. - An aluminum steak?
This power of argumentation is brutal.
- Try to sell your object. - Let him do it as he always does.
VASCO: Try to sell with Gabriela's tone of voice.
I think I'm going to get too serious. I'm not very comfortable,
but I could do it. I have no problem, dear Vasco and Markl.
I brought something that is and was very satisfying to me
and it shakes like jelly.
Nowadays, I don't use them anymore, because my wife gave them up.
But I always carry them when traveling and I like them a lot.
They give me enormous satisfaction and they shake like jelly.
The last breast implants she had.
LAUGHTER APPLAUSE
It's fine like that.
(...)
GABRIELA: Several questions plague my mind.
Are you taking those on the trip? The used ones? Not these, but...
- And they jiggle like jelly? - Of course they jiggle.
I'm glad. It's not every day I say that.
A round of applause for Pedro's wife's ex-breast implants.
APPLAUSE
VASCO: That have given you so much joy.
Sílvia, what did you bring? I'm even afraid to ask.
I'm also afraid to explain.
We all go through this in our daily lives.
Contractures, back pain. Not wanting to sound repetitive,
I watch the same teleshopping channel as Gabriela.
VASCO: - Yes. - It's true.
- Yes, I'm listening. - Seriously.
This piece is a kind of amusement park for the muscles.
It trembles, it's highly satisfying. And you leave there without contractures,
feeling renewed and ready for a new day.
- It's a fantastic massager. VASCO: - Did you bring one too?
-It can be adapted to other things. GABRIELA: - No!
No! She's a guest. She comes here from time to time.
I'm here every day giving it my all.
PEDRO: - Can I defend Sílvia? - Sílvia can defend herself too.
PEDRO: Maybe you're not seeing the point of defense I have for you.
- Tell me. - You showed it to left-handed people.
This one is right-handed. It's not the same thing. See?
APPLAUSE
That thing can't be used to put nails in the wall or screws.
But it can get you out of there renewed. It's true.
- It's a carousel of emotions. - I gave you...
GILMÁRIO: She says you can punch it when you're not happy.
Each one grabs theirs and they go to the middle.
A round of applause for Sílvia's massager as well.
PEDRO: I was starting to get sleepy.
MARKL: - This is interesting. - "No hard feelings."
It's the first time we have contestants with the same object.
The five points go to Pedro Alves.
Seriously?
APPLAUSE
When I think of jelly wobbling, with all due respect, I also see...
PEDRO: - It's beautiful. VASCO: - Four points to the "slime".
I also see it wobbling like jelly.
- Now... - Now...
Massagers, toothbrushes. Do they wobble? Yes.
PEDRO: It's cool, but it's not for that.
VASCO: I'm going to give three points to Gabriela and Sílvia.
- And two points to Pipoca. - It's over.
VASCO: That's how we start. A round of applause for the five!
- With repetitions? - It's not like jelly.
- It's a disgrace. MARKL: - Be friends.
Let's open this Advent calendar of inanity.
What chocolate is behind the first window we're going to open?
This is more than just a chocolate. These are real bars.
We're kicking off with a team task.
Who's in the eye of the storm of this team task?
VASCO: - Who? - This kid!
# SOFT INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
ANA SIGHS GILMÁRIO: Already tired?
We haven't even started yet.
I'm wondering if doing a test with you benefits or hurts me.
If it benefits, it's for both of us. If it hurts, it's for both of us.
Where's Markl?
- Let's see. - Where's Markl?
Maybe we'll have a pool party.
"Plan a one-minute bachelor party for Markl."
"At the end of the one-minute bachelor party,"
Markl must be ready to get married."
"You have 24 minutes to prepare the 1-minute bachelor party."
"The time starts when I say... now."
- Have you been married? - I have.
- So? - I don't recommend it.
ANA: - And the bachelor party? - Never had one.
- We have a pool. - Table dance, pool.
- Do you think he likes that kind of thing? - Well.
It's a bachelor party for Markl, a specific person.
He's kind of a wimp. I don't know if he'll want something too...
- He'll want a good computer. - And those things he likes?
- Star Wars... - That's what he'll like.
- And Markl's here like... - He'll never leave here again.
Let's throw him a geeky bachelor party. He'll love it.
- It'll be the best. - What's "geek"?
- Do you agree? "Nerd". - Computers...
There's a stripper over there. You're incomplete.
- But it could be me. - That would be better.
If you want to show up in a thong and give him a table dance...
- I can do that. - Just for the bachelor party tradition.
We could strip him naked.
The problem is he has to get dressed afterwards to get married.
That's true.
With Markl's twins, the pants don't go on quickly.
- We sit him in a chair and... - Put on a show around him.
We'll make his boners happen.
We don't know what Markl's preferences are.
We don't know if he wants a stripper or a male stripper.
He has to be surprised and it has to generate profound happiness.
APPLAUSE
- This is kind of depressing. - My wimp.
Nuno, you've been married twice. What were your bachelor parties like?
Extremely weak.
One of them was just me sitting on a bench drinking tea.
- And eating plain bread. VASCO: - Great.
- It's not bad. I like bread. VASCO: - Great.
That's why I placed great hope
in the bachelor parties these individuals cooked up.
- But a minute is too little time. - It's more than enough!
For the love of God. I apologize, I got carried away.
Who were Choninha's first cronies
to organize a bachelor party in style?
Gilmário and Pipoca, a collective I like to call Gilmoca.
GILMÁRIO: Sounds like my name with 'moca' [weed].
GILMÁRIO: Let's go! ANA SHOUTS AMUSED
GILMÁRIO: - Great party! ANA: - Welcome!
GILMÁRIO: Welcome to the bachelor party! Come on, Markl!
Shot! Shot! Shot!
Go, Markl!
Mariachi moment!
ANA SHOUTS
Markl
You're getting married
But why? You're gonna kill yourself
Markl
You're getting married
- Let's go! - Is there more?
GILMÁRIO: Shot! Shot! One more!
"You're gonna party, party"
ANA HUMMING
"You're wanna party"
Go, Markl! Give it your all! It's your bachelor party!
"You wanna party" GILMÁRIO SHOUTS
- Markl! You ready to get married? - You ready to get married.
- Thank you. - Happy wedding.
- Is it time to get married now? GILMÁRIO, ANA: - Yes.
- Thank you. - Happy wedding.
- Congratulations. - Come back anytime.
- Markl! - Markl!
You're getting married
Why? You're gonna kill yourself
APPLAUSE
VASCO: - We all won. - I got the music stuck in my head.
Markl...
Considering you know Markl well,
what couldn't be missing, given the theme of the party?
We wanted to concentrate as much fun as possible into one minute.
We anticipated that the bachelor parties he had had
had been sad. - Tea with bread? Are you kidding me?
We wanted to provide him with the most immersive
and interactive experience, and all that.
VASCO: - Shots... - Live music.
Mariachis. And an Angolan man shirtless.
- An Angolan man shirtless. - He left with his suit ready for the wedding.
I'm eager to see what the other team has prepared for you.
It was more personalized and very intense.
I'll be a monkey's uncle, it was very intense.
VASCO: - Were there Mariachis? - No. That's the only thing missing.
# COMICAL INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
Strike me down with lightning.
MARKL SIGHS
"Welcome to the most spectacular bachelor party.
"Tune into your favorite channel.
May the Force be with you, dear Homer."
Ha, ha, ha...
There you go, all set.
EVERYONE: "It's Beetlejuice!"
MARKL RI
Things exploding, no. My God.
Was this the man who bit the dog?
GABRIELA CANTAROLA
Breads...
SÍLVIA CANTAROLA
"Hi, Homie!"
GABRIELA CANTAROLA PEDRO ROSNA
MARKL: A banana?
GABRIELA CANTAROLA PEDRO ROSNA
MARKL: This is scary.
GABRIELA CANTAROLA PEDRO ROSNA
Ready. No!
That was one of the most terrifying things I've ever experienced in my life. Thank you.
GABRIELA: "That's all, Folks."
MARKL SPITS
APPLAUSE
(...)
Let's play "Who's Who". I'll start with Pedro.
Pedro, who were you?
On negative steroids, Beetlejuice.
- But also... - The Man Who Bit the Dog.
Yes. I was biting the dog. We thought about Markl's imagery.
The Man Who Bit the Dog must be something that blows your mind.
VASCO: We also went to "Star Wars", Gabriela.
- We did. - Who were you?
I was Princess Leia with the bread rolls on my head.
It worked out well, because I really like bread.
I knew that. I wanted to make that "bakery-esque" tribute.
LAUGHTER "Bakery-esque"?
- In the end, she even showed the garter. - Yes, for some sensuality.
Speaking of sensuality, Mrs. Marge Simpson,
what were you doing to my friend?
I was giving kisses with Marge's voluptuous lips.
As for the banana on the forehead...
It was the famous dick that they wear on their foreheads in Bairro Alto.
They're all happy with the dicks.
VASCO: - The banana was that? - Yes, but it's creative.
- It was your bachelor party. - It was.
You are now the Taskmaster of this challenge.
And you, Little Prick, will now be giving the points.
This team looked at me not as a "nerd",
but as a virile man or not,
because you were shirtless walking around me.
I didn't dislike it, but I'm a wimp and I really liked theirs.
- My action figures were all there. - We know your essence.
It was a fresco that left me quite satisfied.
- It was a very good two minutes. MARKL: - It was great.
I'm giving three to Pedro, Gabriela and Sílvia's team.
- And two to Gilmário and Pipoca. VASCO: - The points are assigned.
PEDRO: Applause for you too.
GILMÁRIO: I don't agree.
MARKL: At this moment, Pedro is ahead with eight.
Then, we have Gilmário, Sílvia and Gabriela,
forming the number of the beast, 666.
GILMÁRIO: - That's what you wanted. - And Pipoca with four.
VASCO: An applause for the five of you.
The number of the beast.
Nuno, have you recovered from your bachelor party yet?
- Yeah. - Tell me what we have next.
Next, we're going to see where an egg is going to end up in Columbus. Get it?
Egg, Columbus. Where the egg, which is going to move, ends up in Columbus.
Where the egg ends up in Columbus.
- I still don't get it. How is it? - The egg...
- Push the button, man! - Alright.
# SOFT INSTRUMENTAL THEME
- Hi. - So nervous.
I just got here.
Supposedly there's got to be something to do.
- What is it? - Where's the envelope?
Where's the letter? It's here.
Always so creative, so bold, so differentiated.
CENSORED WORD Found it.
"Move the egg to the egg cup."
"Without touching the egg or the egg cup."
"You can only use the items that are on the table."
What do we have here? A straw, a slice of bread, a horse.
What's the horse doing here?
A balloon. A strange scene. Rice.
"If you touch an item that another contestant also touches,
both receive a one-minute penalty per item."
This gives me some inner comfort. I'm not the only one losing.
I lose, but I drag people down with me.
How do I know another contestant touched the... I don't know.
I can use more than one. I can use whatever I want.
"- Fastest wins." - "Time starts now."
It doesn't say how long it is.
VASCO: There it is. Questions, Sílvia.
How do I know? How don't I know? How long?
I understand you. It seems like a Columbus's egg.
Move the egg to the egg stand.
The egg will give Columbus. Enough. It's easy. It's simple to understand.
Except they can't touch the egg with any part of their body.
VASCO: Nothing could touch the egg.
And they can't have the same idea as another colleague.
Then a minute would be added to everyone who had the same idea.
Who are we going to see first complicating everything,
while striving for originality?
MARKL: - Do you think they strive? VASCO: - These are people who strive.
Let's see Pedro and Gilmário wrestling with an egg
and various random objects, among them,
what appears to be Pedro's favorite pasta.
Okay. Without touching the egg, or the egg stand.
I can't touch here or the egg. Alright...
I have to think about what the others will do
to try to do a scene that no one else has done.
Horse, rice...
The easiest would be to use the bread
to crush the egg and transport it here.
I can't touch the egg directly?
I was hoping there would be some item down here.
This is pasta... CENSORED WORD
I love that name.
This isn't... This is rice. CENSORED WORD
Yes...
- Let's use the bread. - "The balloon."
I won't touch anything. Zoom in the camera.
It's zoomed in nicely. I won't touch anything.
Wait, look. I'm not touching it.
# RHYTHMIC INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
Ta-da! Is that all?
- Is that all? - Yes.
PEDRO: Whoa...
# RHYTHMIC INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
Is it over already?
Are you sure? I'm going to take the letter.
If they're lying in the studio,
the person won't remember what they read in the letter.
It's cool.
PEDRO ON A BALLOON
APPLAUSE
Gilmário, you went for the simplest.
Did it never cross your mind that more people might have done that?
It crossed my mind that more people would think of it.
"I'm not going to pick up the bread, because the bread is..."
- Obvious. - It's obvious. So...
If everyone cuts themselves off from that idea and only Gilmário remains,
Gilmário wins. - Exactly.
I wonder if more people went for the bread? We'll see that soon.
Pedro, you said: "Besides thinking about what I have to do,
I have to think about what others might do."
Exactly. I went for the most improbable. Nobody picks up an egg with a balloon.
Right. Some difficulty. The support fell to the ground.
-Even so, you went there with the balloon. - Yes, but I got used to it.
I learned to control and deal with it. I swear a lot less.
- Yes. You're a different man. - Quite.
- Has this program changed your life? - Yes, I even feel taller.
LAUGHTER
Markl was watching everything very carefully.
In the end, he's going to say everything.
Regarding the objects, so far, bread has been used,
Bostik, or the 'thingy' paste, as Pedro calls it.
- He's within his rights. - I used the balloon.
VASCO: - You used it, but you touched it. - I also touched the paste.
- And the balloon. Everything was touched. MARKL: - Yes.
The question is whether Gabriela, Ana, and Sílvia will repeat
any of these things, screwing themselves and their colleagues.
Let's start with Pipoca and Gabriela,
a collective I like to call Pipiela.
When they say I can't touch the egg, it's with my hands.
I can touch it with any of the things that are here.
So... Go on.
Can I blow on the egg?
What is the shape of this egg? Is it cooked? Is it raw?
Just so I know if it falls on the floor... It's all over, right?
No one should have touched this.
No. No one should have touched... this.
No! Go on!
ANA SOPRA
# RHYTHMIC INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
So, I'm going to...
I should have done it with the horse. No one picked the horse.
ANA SOPRA
Look at this one.
# SOFT INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
Technically I'm not touching the egg, right?
It's the napkin that's touching the egg. I want this to be very...
What this program does to people.
LAUGHTER
Bye.
We have a stand, we have an egg, we have an egg on the stand.
I consider my task completed. I'm out!
APPLAUSE
VASCO: The horse called for you, didn't it?
- The horse called for you. - The challenge was already over.
- Yes. - I'm more relaxed now.
Pipoca, your assessment of this challenge?
It went badly. I always like to show a bit of my silliness.
People are used to seeing me as a superior being.
I like to come down to the level of the people. And here they could see it.
Instead of blowing and removing the rice,
I was taking the rice from the napkin, picking it up, and that was it.
No. I went around 87 times. Blowing and whatnot... Anyway.
- It's what we managed to do. - Kisses to the egg.
Under that pressure, it's what we managed to do.
You have everything noted down regarding objects that were touched.
- What do you have to tell us? - Gabriela touched the Bostik.
And she touches the chopsticks, which is something that happens to Pipoca.
Pipoca also touches the chopsticks like Gabriela.
An interesting situation happens. Pipoca's hair...
- Pipoca's hair, right? - Is touching.
- And the hair is yours. - I was going to say something.
You were paying attention and there was Pipoca's hair touch.
We saw this in great detail. We were watching everything.
We've already seen which methods were repeated.
I'm curious to know if Silvia escaped this trend.
That's what we're going to see.
I can't touch the egg stand. Hold on.
But the other objects can touch the egg stand.
Duh...
Of course. The other objects can touch the egg stand.
Right? Right.
Horse.
You did everything backwards.
We already have phase 1.
I didn't touch the egg stand. You guys saw it.
So far, you just haven't touched the stand.
Sorry.
SILVIA BLOWS
(...)
CENSORED WORD
Unless this has one of those "Taskmaster" twists,
I'd say "challenge completed". Right?
Sure.
Blah-blah...
Done? As far as you're concerned? As far as I'm concerned, it is. Seems to be.
She's coming back, isn't she?
It can't be that simple. I forgot something.
I didn't read something. You guys stayed in the same place.
"Move the egg to the egg cup without touching the egg.
"You can only use the items that are on the table.
"If you touch the item..." Damn it!
Did someone touch the bread?
Otherwise, I get the penalty. But it was one minute.
It's not points. It's done. Don't mess with me. It's done.
Seriously? Why don't you get out of here?
This is super creepy.
What... It's already over. It is.
No. Now it doesn't count anymore. It's closed. Let's go.
What nerves!
APPLAUSE
There were more entrances and exits of Sílvia, but we couldn't put them all in.
After the test was over, you went to read it again.
And again, and again, and again.
Until you realized that everything you touched could be harmful,
not only to you, but to everyone.
It's a lot of inexperience. That's really what it was.
I didn't read the last phase. There was a penalty.
Since the team doesn't leave there, it was in doubt.
It was the first test. Will it continue? Won't it?
Markl, give me the results.
Sílvia managed the feat of touching all the objects.
Except for the chopsticks, harming all her colleagues.
I have the results here.
Ana took four minutes and 29 seconds.
She used the napkin, the chopsticks, and the horse.
All the objects were touched by other contestants.
She touched the egg with her lips while blowing on it.
And ended with a final time of seven minutes and 29 and one point.
VASCO: A round of applause for Pipoca.
Just look at the stunning happiness on that face.
As for Sílvia, she only took one minute and 24.
She touches seven out of eight objects. She only didn't touch the chopsticks.
She has four penalties. She ends up with 5 minutes and 24 and two points.
VASCO: Two points for Sílvia.
Sorry.
Pedro took two minutes and 40. He used Bostik or paste...
And the balloon to place the egg on the stand.
Both items were used or touched by other contestants.
He ends up with four minutes and 40 total time and three points.
VASCO: - Very good. - Not bad.
Let's go to the next one. Gabriela took one minute and two seconds.
She used the straw, the chopsticks, the Bostik.
All objects were touched by other players.
She ends up with a final time of four minutes and two seconds.
VASCO: An applause for Gabriela with four points.
MARKL: Gilmário finished the task in one minute and 38.
He only used the bread that was touched by Sílvia.
He ends up with a total of two minutes and 38 and five points.
VASCO: Five points for Gilmário.
That's what I thought. It's the easiest.
MARKL: Tied with 11, Gilmário and Pedro.
Then, Gabriela with ten, Sílvia with eight
and Pipoca with five. VASCO: - We're halfway there.
GILMÁRIO: Calm down, Gabi. You're still in the game.
Nuno, I feel like another task. What do we have ahead of us?
This is going to be good. It's a task we're fond of.
Here's a task whose description could be that of all the tasks
that have already passed and all those that are yet to pass through this program.
# SOFT INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
KNOCK AT THE DOOR MARKL: Hello.
- What's up? - What's that?
"Je suis moi-même, monsieur" Nuno Markl.
- I think you'll like this. - Will I?
- Something to keep me from getting tired. - Yeah.
I'm a little tired. Just exceptionally today.
- You're always radiant. - The wellspring of joy you know.
"Do something truly stupid." Fire...
"Do something..." ANA SIGHS
"Win the most stupid action."
"You can't hurt yourself nor hurt anyone."
That's a shame. Not being able to hurt anyone.
- I had someone in mind. - I know.
- They're protecting you. - They are.
"You have 20 minutes. Time starts now."
PEDRO GEME
MARKL: - What do you think is stupid? - All of this is stupid.
All of this exists. All of this is sad. All of this is stupid.
It has to be very stupid, doesn't it?
Stupid raised to the power of three.
I'm not a guy who's very connected to stupidity. It's not my forte.
This is stupid. And all year long.
It assumes we live in Norway. And it's a television.
For those who haven't figured it out at home yet.
[APPLAUSE]
This is what I call a blank canvas.
A wonderful blank canvas. Do something stupid.
- That's music to my ears. - I knew it.
If the exam question sets the tone,
just wait until you see the true symphonies of stupidity
that these dear people have prepared for you.
VASCO: - Really? That's great. MARKL: - Without further ado,
or maybe with quite a lot of ado, let's start with Sílvia.
Welcome to the race of the year.
On one side, we have Rapidinho, a bold and indomitable competitor.
On the other, we have Veloz, an athlete who knows what he's doing.
He's been here longer. Let's see how it goes.
They are ready. Ready to start?
- Let's do it. SÍLVIA: - Let's do it.
- Pum! SILVIA: - And there they go.
Veloz is attempting a risky strategy.
- He's abandoning his lane. - Abandoning his lane.
- But here comes Rapidinho... - Is that Rapidinho?
It is. Wiggling his antennae. Clearly a conqueror.
- Trying to get the audience's attention. MARKL: - Sure.
Veloz now seems to be taking the lead.
No, actually, it's Rapadinho coming up on the side by...
How stupid.
By about two millimeters.
I'd say just wait, because a lot is about to happen.
A lot indeed.
SILVIA: I think they need a little incentive.
MARKL: There it is, "doping".
- Are you going to change direction? - Come here.
MARKL: - The lettuce didn't work. - Nope. Let's try again.
If this isn't truly stupid, I don't know what is.
- It's pretty stupid. - It's pretty stupid.
But they're being champions.
- It's super exciting. - It might take a while.
It's a matter of being patient. He fell asleep here.
- He's taking a nap. - It's paradise.
- You interrupted him. Of course. - Let's give them a hand.
Ouch...
LAUGHTER
There it is. This took an incredible leap. Wow.
- Are you being patient? Good. - I am. I have nothing to do.
MARKL SIGHS LAUGHTER
MARKL: This is super exciting.
It's witnessing these moments of profound glory,
as our friend approaches the final stretch with great strides.
MARKL: He's really at the end. It's going to be amazing. Almost there.
There he is. He's about to cross the finish line.
It's a moment of great emotion. There he is.
- He's crossing the finish line. SÍLVIA: - And there he is!
He's the big winner!
MARKL: What an incredible triumph. Bravo.
Very cool.
It's won. I'm telling you. That was just stupid.
MARKL: It was. We have to release them into the wild.
- We should. - It's all wet.
MARKL: It's almost cruel to interrupt their meal.
SÍLVIA: - Take him with the lettuce. MARKL: - Take him with the leaf.
Goodbye, Speedy. Goodbye, Quicky.
APPLAUSE
There are no snails like ours.
- They were returned to nature. - Did you go snail hunting?
That size, they were hard to find.
We called a contact who sells snails.
It was possible to find these full of life.
There were some more boring ones. We chose the best.
- The others were too... - The others slept a lot.
- These, at least, were fast. VASCO: - Very good.
In terms of silly things, a snail race... I liked it.
Applause for Sílvia and her snail race.
VASCO: - More stupidity, Markl. MARKL: - More stupidity!
VASCO: "Give me more stupidity"!
Next up, someone who didn't want to go alone
and dragged an unsuspecting citizen into a whirlwind of color
and, there it is, of stupidity. Gilmário Vemba.
The envelope said "do something stupid"
and not "do something stupid
and ask Markl to do something stupid".
Unless you ask me to do something stupid,
it's a stupid thing."
- I think Markl's getting there. - Of course.
Since I'm not very connected to stupidity,
I wanted to combine stupidity that could end up in art
which, one day, could end up in the Louvre Museum.
- If it were up to me, you'd take off your glasses. - Like this, I can't see anything.
The idea is to paint the "Taskmaster" duck in this beautiful picture.
Yes, I'm going to use my nose for the outline.
- I'm going to do the outline in yellow. - My nose doesn't have a point.
My nose is...
It's that potato nose.
MARKL: - Very good. - My outline is pathetic.
Incredible, it's like having a kind of brush.
My art can be abstract.
But you have to realize that it's a duck, right?
Exactly. If I can do it with the nose I have, it's brilliant.
Definitely.
GILMÁRIO: I thought: "Many people have already painted their faces."
Now painting with your face... I think that would be something new.
This is the happiest day of my life.
That's what I thought.
My nose even helps out.
- Did you fall? MARKL: - No.
GILMÁRIO GIVES KISSES
What are you doing? Are you sucking?
I'm giving greeting kisses. I'm going to use my beard as a brush.
I'm loving this. It's so zen.
GILMÁRIO: - Are you? - I am.
It feels like I'm making love to the duck.
LAUGHTER
GILMÁRIO: Because I think your duck is getting...
- This is a fancy duck. - You're exaggerating.
That perfection wasn't necessary.
The beard makes a great brush.
I never thought I'd be so invested in this.
- Ena. - I think mine is finished.
- Is it? Mine is more art. - Yeah, I see.
MARKL: This photo. Looks like a book illustration.
I'll put on my glasses to see yours better.
- It's an excellent work of art. - Looks like it's at war.
- It's a male duck. - Right.
- Fighting for survival. - Sure.
- That's the fancy duck. MARKL: - Right.
GILMÁRIO: Thank you, Markl, for participating in this.
Thank you. It was a pleasure. Art... Art and culture were born here.
- With the face. - This should make some money.
GILMÁRIO: - If we sell it, it will. - What artists, gentlemen.
APPLAUSE
- There was technique. GILMÁRIO: - There was a lot of technique.
In the end, you have the painted face and the painted picture.
You start as an artist, you end as a clown, with art done.
At some point, you realized the beard was useful.
Very useful.
SÍLVIA: In terms of cartilage, Markl had an advantage.
- You have a big brush. - I do. It's amazing.
I also have a big brush, but I couldn't use it...
VASCO: - Gilmário Vemba! - Sorry.
We're talking about the nose. Can we see the drawings?
We can. I have here the works we produced with our snouts.
VASCO: Send it by "airdrop" over there.
GABRIELA: - Was that you guys? GILMÁRIO: - Big ducks.
GABRIELA: - Was that you guys? MARKL: - It was us.
GILMÁRIO: - With the face. VASCO: - Does your duck have a top hat?
GABRIELA: They're very cute.
A round of applause for Gilmário and Markl. Very good.
- Big ducks. VASCO: - More art than stupidity.
It's very good.
I've never enjoyed repeating these words so much.
I'm going to say them. I want more stupidity.
Who's next in this cornucopia of foolishness and stupidity?
Gabriela in one of her most romantic and bucolic moments.
VASCO:-Do you remember what you did? - I remember.
Hello.
I thought it was time for a romantic moment between us.
- Okay. - Sit down.
My God.
Ah...
Is this to hold?
GABRIELA LAUGHS
Is this bread and butter? GABRIELA LAUGHS
Well...
Since I'm busy leaning on something
and showering you with affection with this flower...
- Yes. - I'll spread some bread and butter for you.
- With your feet? - With what's available.
- Let's do it. - You're going to spread butter with your foot?
Shhh... Just let it happen.
LAUGHTER
Incredible.
Meanwhile, I'll tell you a poem that only I know.
Markl, Markl... I have a cramp in my foot.
MARKL: - Are you going to change... GABRIELA: - Yes.
That's amazing. Are you spreading butter with the handle?
LAUGHTER
GABRIELA: When you, Markl...
GABRIELA LAUGHS
GABRIELA: When you, Markl, showed up,
I immediately saw that you... were one of those.
- Which ones? - One of those who leaves no...
... doubts about...
That's corncob butter.
GABRIELA LAUGHS
Great. Delicious.
I knew you'd like all this romance.
This is the happiest day of my life.
- Ha, ha... - What a lovely picnic.
- And so romantic. It's true. GABRIELA: - Yes, yes, yes.
Yes, ma'am. But it must give you horrible cramps.
Yes, yes. I can't even tell you how much.
Let's do ourselves both a favor. MARK BLOWS WHISTLE
It's great! Amazing.
- I feel like you've got a little mouse. - No.
- I'm afraid you'll fall next. - Me too.
But there are things that had to be done.
- Do you want the flower? - I do.
I will keep it forever in my heart.
- It's full of butter. - How gross!
Okay, bye. Ow! I almost fell. Bye.
I'm going to dream about this tonight.
- Didn't you like it? MARKL: - This program is intense.
It leaves memories... It leaves strong memories.
I don't want to know what led you to have this idea.
I think it's a great idea when it comes to stupidity and silliness.
Now, the poem... Do you remember the poem you said?
- No. I was busy. - The poem was as follows.
"Markl, when you appeared, I never had any doubts about."
- Does it end there? VASCO: - It ends.
Because in the meantime you got hit with a bread roll full of butter.
- Markl didn't eat your bread. - That's right.
I felt that all this affection and love wasn't well received.
It's just that most of the time you were rubbing your feet
on that wretched carpet that Taskmaster has at home.
I could be here all night watching stupidity,
because there's stupidity happening and good stupidity at that. Who's coming up next?
Here's Pedro Alves loaded with scenes seemingly random
that finally come together in a beautiful whole.
Here I go!
- My God. - Don't get worked up. Don't panic.
When it comes to doing stupid shit, I'm your guy. Sorry about that.
MARKL: Okay. Cute little hearts.
Helmet. With a soda can.
MARKL: I'm intrigued.
Can you imagine what I'm going to do?
I can't relate any of these objects to each other.
PEDRO: Let's start from the bottom. A brick...
- Are those pedals? - I don't know. You'll have to find out.
Two bricks.
Three bricks.
- Steering wheel. - Right.
Helmet.
Let's go Formula 1 racing.
I have the Start button on the steering wheel. Let's see if it starts.
PEDRO IMITATES A CAR THAT WON'T START
PEDRO IMITATES A CAR ACCELERATING
(...)
LAUGHTER
MARKL: - Was it an accident? - Yes, I crashed.
MARKL: Wow! That was incredible.
And I didn't hurt myself or hurt anyone.
Incredible.
APPLAUSE
Shelby. Shelby.
I realized what the can was for. I was... I wasn't expecting it.
Perfect.
APPLAUSE
- The adrenaline of going 300 an hour. - I got out of the race, threw up here.
MARKL: The shakes.
But it's an old car, still with manuals.
Yes, the real Formula 1 was made with...
VASCO: - Still with turbo. - Yes, with turbo.
It wasn't the first time you've done this.
You can tell there's...
Many parties have already been enlivened with Pedro Alves' Formula 1.
I have to tell you something and I'm going to say it here.
It will be the only time I'm going to be serious.
That a competition like this is needed, and I congratulate you
for what you provoked us to do in the competition,
because it's good to know there are people who have mental diarrhea like me.
A round of applause for them. It was very good. It was very cool.
I have fun doing these things at home.
Wherever I am, I always see things to play pranks,
and do stupid things and clown around. I love it.
I'm very happy,
but Ana Garcia "Pipoca Mais Doce" Martins is still missing.
And it's likely that people know what they're about to see now.
Yes, because in fact this caused shockwaves on a national scale.
One thing is to do a merely stupid scene,
the other is to jeopardize an entire career.
VASCO: As long as they didn't get hurt.
To have an impact, I would have to publish something
really stupid on my Instagram.
Do you want to put a fatalistic photograph...
- No, it's going to be a talking video. - Okay.
- I needed a... - This setting is iconic.
- Yes, with Vasco Palmeirim behind... - Yes.
- Next to the door. - Next to the door?
- Maybe, yes. - Just with wood behind.
Good morning. Here we are.
Aftermath of the Golden Globes. I slept very little. I'm tired.
I'm not very happy or excited.
I'm not very enthusiastic about life in general.
I was really confident that I was going to win and that I deserved it.
It's been 20 years of digital.
20 years, contributing here every day
with incredible and truly differentiating content.
And I could be here with false modesty,
but I think I'm the Mourinho of digital. I'm the Cristiano.
And to have people like Guilherme Geirinhas
who started producing content half an hour ago...
And the other nominees...
Markl. What has Markl given to this world?
This makes me question what I'm doing here.
And it's quite demotivating. I'm even... Sorry.
I'm really... I'll try to control myself.
I feel like I need to rethink my life and...
I don't know what else I can do to deserve a Globe.
I've done everything, in 20 years.
I don't know if they're waiting for me to be 67 years old
to win the old people's award.
I'm hurt that I really thought this was my year and it wasn't.
I don't know. I need to stop, see if my path really is through digital.
I feel more and more that it isn't.
There are other things I want to do, I want to explore.
I don't know if it's a goodbye. Right now I think it is.
But maybe it's just a see you later.
And now we're going to publish this.
Goodbye, question mark. See you later? Who knows. Dove.
- I hope you understand. - Incredible.
- Thank you. - What an idiot.
APPLAUSE
I was there for this historic moment and I loved it.
Pipoca, what did people say to you,
among those closest to you, when this came out?
- We were at your house... - It was the day after the Globos.
ANA: It was the day after the Golden Globes.
Markl was in my category and he didn't win either.
It was the only joy I took from there.
And I thought it was the exact moment to seize on that
and create a whole drama and say I was going to abandon digital,
that I didn't know what else I could do. And it was overwhelming.
Suddenly everyone was calling.
Friends from 20 years ago saying I was more than just an award.
Nobody understood. I thought it was very obvious I was kidding
by the things I was saying. "I'm Mourinho.
Who's Markl? What has Markl given to this world?"
- Which is a bit true. MARLL: - I was wondering...
VASCO: I was going to ask how much truth there was in that.
ANA: There was a little.
You take advantage and in the meantime you go saying some truths.
But I thought it had to be something that created impact.
And suddenly you had the press picking up on that.
Journalists calling to find out if it was true.
Making news out of it. It was impactful.
You could only say it was a "Taskmaster" task
on the press launch day of the schedule for...
A week later.
I was silent on social media for a week
and suddenly people started...
Those who were skeptical started to think it was true.
I'd been quiet for a week.
They started to think I'd lost my mind.
It must be said that Pipoca's task was the last before lunch.
We spent lunch refreshing Google
watching the gossip press fall for the trap.
We "clickbaited" those who "clickbait" us.
Here are some of the news stories that exploded
that day and in the days that followed.
Here's the effect.
Here it is.
MARKL READS NEWS HEADLINES
(...)
LAUGHTER APPLAUSE
(...)
Let's give points to this.
My congratulations to everyone. You did very well.
Which only proves you're wizards of foolishness.
Let me start here with Pipoca.
Pipoca deserves five points. They're added together.
Five points for Pipoca.
- Thank you, my good friend. - Cheater.
Now, watching Gabriela spread a bread roll with butter using her foot
is very stupid. Gabriela, you get four points.
Congratulations to Gabriela.
APPLAUSE
Snail racing is silly,
but seeing Pedro with a helmet with a can,
doing a Formula 1 race with a cane and a rudder,
I'm giving Pedro three points and Sílvia two points.
And I give one point to Gilmário Vemba for his "patal" art.
MARKL: Despite it being a great piece of art.
VASCO: It was a great piece of art.
Markl, send these scores to the screen,
because I think everything is pretty balanced.
MARKL: We're like this, with 14 points for Gabriela and Pedro.
Gilmário with 12,
and tied with ten are Ana and Sílvia.
VASCO: Let's hear it for the five.
APPLAUSE
Nuno, another task here for our audience.
Let's go! Let's take it one step at a time.
First of all, we all have a table with things on it.
- That's what we have. - What?
You really know how to grab people's attention.
MARKL: We have a table with some things on it.
# SOFT INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
I just wanted to see if everyone was ready.
These glasses.
"You have 30 seconds to replace your hands..."
"With flippers or spatulas."
"If you choose the spatulas, you must put on the glasses."
No, never, ever.
"After your choice, head to the laboratory."
I feel like any one is going to be a bad choice.
This one seems easier, but it'll be harder later.
This one seems harder now
and maybe it'll be even worse later. But whatever. So, here goes.
I'm going to choose the spatulas, because I dig the goggles.
I think I can manage with this. No. That could be very difficult.
I've already...
I've already screwed myself over.
Just to get to the door will take three hours.
And now?
# SOFT INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
I think I chose well.
It's going to be cool.
APPLAUSE
Nothing gives me more joy, more "joie de vivre",
than seeing these five people paralyzed by doubt,
by anguish and above all by distrust.
Was the choice fortunate or not?
After collecting and choosing the tools,
they had to go see you at the lab. Right?
- Didn't you know? VASCO: - What?
The lab went bankrupt. Now, it's changed business.
- Seriously? - Yes, sir.
# SOFT INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
Hello. I'm hungry and I heard
that this establishment is incredibly delicious.
IMITATES SEAL LAUGHTER
I was wondering if anyone was going to serve me in the restaurant.
- Hi, Nunos. MARKL: - We are more than one.
IMITATES SEAL
MARKL: Is that a seal? IMITATES SEAL
- If it's like that with the envelope... - That's what I thought.
I'm having some difficulty, but it's my first day on the job.
MARKL: Sure, it's normal. And the nerves.
Does the menu have to be read with glasses?
That's it.
Why is nothing easy on this program?
Markl, come on.
It's really stuck.
ANA: I feel like just for this we're going to need 15 days.
LAUGHTER
(...)
"From now on, you have to address Markl,
always treating him as His Excellency Markl."
Strike me down!
"Fulfill His Excellency Markl's request and prepare..."
"And prepare the best sandwich for His Excellency Markl."
"Win the sandwich with the best presentation. You have ten minutes."
"Time starts when Markl finishes his order."
How can I help you, Excellency Markl?
SILVIA: - What will it be today? - I'll have a sandwich
with a slice of ham,
a slice of cheese in the shape of a teddy bear,
four slices of tomato in the shape of pretty stars,
a slice of cream cheese so thin it looks like it's made of air.
Then I'd like a slice of pineapple in the shape of a hexagon.
- Hexagon. MARKL: - It has six sides.
A boiled egg, but just the yolk, whole.
A solitary french fry that looks sad.
- A solitary french fry. MARKL: - That looks sad.
And finally, a sauce of your choice as long as,
and this condition is very important, it's in the shape of a heart.
Yes.
- So, it's to make a mess. - You're already counting on it.
APPLAUSE
Nuno, when we thought about this task
I don't remember putting that detail of the most excellent one there.
In the immortal words of hundreds of beauty product commercials,
If I don't like myself, who will?
And also, because I deserve it.
What was wanted was a sandwich, but not just any sandwich.
Vasco, Vasco, Vasco, the vertigo of petty power.
The vertigo of demanding the impossible. I was intoxicated.
Who are the first sandwich makers to submit to your request?
People who avoided glasses and chose flippers.
We'll have Gilmário Vemba and Sílvia Alberto,
a collective that I like to call Gílvia Vemberto.
Your Excellency Markl, what would you like?
I would like a slice of cheese in the shape of a bear.
SÍLVIA: - Well then... MARKL: - Surprising handling.
- No... MARKL: - A bear without ears.
- It has pointy ears. - Yes, it does.
MARKL: If you could round them more...
- Anything to please my client. - Thank you very much.
- Yes, sir. -Yes, sir, Your Excellency Markl.
This here... This is top-notch.
We should have about six Michelin stars.
Tomato.
Four slices of tomato in the shape of a star,
and I don't even have a knife to cut the damn tomato.
Just a little bit. It's going to be very thin.
MARKL: Right.
This is getting dangerous now.
Right.
Five points. One...
You know what...
MARKL: Looks like a star, the first one.
That's four slices of tomato. There are two.
GILMÁRIO: - The stars. - I'm getting the idea.
It looks like it's alive. It really looks like a star.
I want a slice of requeijão so thin it looks like it's made of air.
It's all about texture. Then, give it air.
- You have to emulsify very well. - Emulsify, of course.
Just like, just... Right.
A slice of pineapple in the shape of a hexagon.
Have you heard of our restaurant before?
MARKL: I have.
- It has never-ending sides. - It's not exactly a hexagon, but...
It's up to you. You can stop at six or move on to seven.
Is it getting six sides?
Incredible.
- You only want the yolk. - Only.
LAUGHTER
Look at the yolk. This here... Look!
LAUGHTER
- It'll look great there. - Yes!
Done.
- Look at this potato. MARKL: - It's sad, isn't it?
Wow! This one had a depression.
- It's sad. MARKL: - That's it.
A sauce of your choice, you said. As long as it's heart-shaped.
MARKL: Complicated.
LAUGHTER
MARKL: Done.
A beautiful ketchup heart.
This heart is the heart of the potato.
It's heartbroken.
Thank you very much. What great service at this restaurant.
Thank you. MARK BLOWS WHISTLE
-This restaurant is really special. - Great.
- Thank you. SPEAKS FRENCH: - Enjoy your meal.
- Thank you. - Good afternoon.
Come back anytime to Gilmário das Barbatanas.
- Thank you. - Exactly.
APPLAUSE
Sílvia, it was difficult, but it was fun.
It was a lot of fun. It was fun, seriously.
The part about cutting the tomato... He went to get a...
We don't dominate the house. He immediately went to get a knife.
We don't think about these things when you come as a guest.
But the concept of a slice is interesting, because it's crushing.
And then it becomes a slice.
But the sandwich seemed to turn out well. We'll see all the footage.
Now, the joy...
Gilmário Vemba, I've seen you happy many times on "Taskmaster"...
- I never thought... - When that yolk came out so smoothly,
and stayed perfectly in the center of the pineapple...
The yolk came out well, and I moaned. It was spectacular.
Nuno, and the next sandwich makers,
I ask, as if it were the first time?
It's an inverse situation to the ones we just saw,
because in this case, they opted for cornea-bursting glasses
and migraine detonators, but no fins to be seen here.
Let's see.
Your Excellency Markl, if I made you a proposal...
If I offered you 100 euros and went to dinner somewhere else?
No, I heard this place is very good.
You're laughing, but it looks better from the side.
- You have to call me... - Your Excellency...
I was distracted. I was talking to the ham.
From here on out, you're just entering the realm of fantasy.
PEDRO SMELLS That's cheese, right?
- He wants a bear-shaped cheese. - A cheese in the shape of a bear.
It can be Pooh.
Your Excellency, now you could go get it with Pooh.
Here he is.
MARKL: - Are those the little ears? - Yes.
Four slices of tomato in the shape of a star.
- Is the star happening? - It is.
This was a star that came in the middle of a meteorite.
When it came into contact with the atmosphere,
the friction caused the star to bulge a bit.
Here we already have one. Here are three.
MARKL: - I only see two on top... - They're decaying stars.
MARKL: Just a hint of cottage cheese. It's a "requeijo".
- It's a little thick. - Tough luck.
A slice of pineapple in the shape of a hexagon.
- Two minutes left. PEDRO: - Two minutes?
How meticulous.
I'm here to please you in any way you want.
Five sides, six sides.
MARKL: It really is a perfect hexagon.
A boiled egg, but just the whole yolk.
The egg is this thing here, right?
# SOFT INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
- If it has a shell, it's protein. - It's only good for you.
- You should eat everything with the shell. - To see if you grow.
Where are you?
- The egg... - Missing a hand.
- It's lively. - It seems alive.
- The ball? - It fell over here.
PEDRO: - Where to? MARKL: - It's over there.
Is this it?
I am so sorry. Again?
She's going to be still now. I'll try not to crush her.
- The presentation is beautiful. MARKL: - It's all cozy.
One minute left.
It was a married potato, but now it's divorced and sad.
- Here's a potato. - Is it sad?
I'll tell you I don't know, but we can make it look sad.
Now, it should be crying.
ANA: It lost its other half. Anything else?
A sauce of your choice as long as you draw a pretty heart.
What is this?
It's going to ruin it. It's better like this.
- I feel like the sauce isn't... - Right.
It's not getting any better.
MARKL WHISTLES Time's up.
A heart. I'd like to see a heart there.
MARKL WHISTLES MARKL: Just what I wanted.
Too bad about the missing heart. It would have been a beautiful finish to this.
We want the customer to leave here satisfied.
There it is.
- Have a good one. MARKL: - Thank you.
Leave a good tip. Don't be cheap.
APPLAUSE
I can imagine Ana outside the challenge,
but one day working in a sandwich shop,
and a annoying customer and you answering that way.
"If it were up to Pooh."
- Markl, a demanding customer. ANA: - Very picky.
Those glasses create a kaleidoscopic effect
and I was seeing 58 ingredients all at the same time.
That made it difficult... Right, Pedro?
It made the challenge quite difficult. Still, it was presentable.
As for Pedro, the glasses make it very difficult.
You see too much,
and picking up small things becomes complicated.
It's obvious those glasses...
There was a time there when I discovered
that if I closed one eye I could see better.
But it wasn't always a cool scene,
because with spatulas in hand we can't grab anything.
I got to a point... It's easier with flippers.
We still need to see Gabriela Barros confect the immortal creation
of Lord John Montagu, the fourth Earl of Sandwich.
That's right, it was that gentleman who did the thing.
Clearly, an employee demonstrating little respect
for the request of the most excellent client.
- How awful. - I didn't ask for the complaint book.
VASCO: Load it on the button.
Ten minutes from now.
A simple slice of ham. Why are we inventing things?
Did I say a slice of cheese with a bear figure?
MARKL: - In the shape of a teddy bear. - Here you go.
Exactly. You asked for it, you got it.
MARKL: Incredible. It looks like a cat.
- Let's put art into perspective. - Of course.
- Here it goes. MARKL: - Yes, sir.
Then, I'd like four star-shaped tomato slices.
Of course, sir. Anything for you.
- One, two... MARKL: - Are those stars?
- Four. - It really looks like a sky.
I'd like a slice of cream cheese so thin it looks like it's made of air.
LAUGHS IMITATING A SEAL
- It has to be very thin. - It's cream cheese, Mr. Markl.
Let's not be... His Excellency Markl.
It's getting thinner already.
Then, a slice of pineapple in the shape of a hexagon.
I can't distinguish the six sides of the hexagon.
If you look closely...
I would like a boiled egg, but only the yolk.
Excellent Markl, look... Do you see how I...
- None of this is random. Boom! MARKL: - What talent.
All pressed.
Now, the time has come to choose a lonely potato chip.
The look of someone who's been through a lot in life.
- Will it do? - It will do, it's depressing.
- Where does it go? Inside? - Yes.
And a sauce of your choice as long as it draws a heart.
I really like ketchup. Do you like it?
MARKL: This restaurant is original. I'd heard great things about it.
- Let's go for mustard. Is that okay? - Sure.
LAUGHTER
- Is it heart-shaped? - Depends on your perspective.
Of all things, who would have thought? It really is a heart.
- Most excellent Markl, are you satisfied? - Thank you very much.
Thank you.
- It was a pleasure. - Pleasure.
Well...
Did you have a good time? A little hug.
I still have a lot to record today.
LAUGHS IMITATING A SEAL
- It's a seal. MARKL: - I know.
APPLAUSE
- A very... enthusiastic employee. - Animated. Aren't there some like that?
She didn't have time to waste, she had more customers.
GABRIELA: - The place was packed. VASCO: - Yes.
- It always needed that... - It's pressed.
- Like a croissant. - It was called a pressed sandwich.
To classify the sandwich, the customer is always right...
- We have to see the photos. VASCO: - Let's see the final product.
- We have a gallery... - You don't see each layer.
You can't see what's inside. I made a cheese bear.
- No one shows that. MARKL: - Yeah.
The bear is buried, underneath all that.
SÍLVIA: In Gabriela's, there were no survivors.
MARKL: - No. - The bear threw up. Look at that.
VASCO: Nuno, you saw the sandwiches being made in front of you,
in terms of presentation... - I assigned points to each one of them.
VASCO: - Without fear? MARKL: - Gabriela, one point.
Evil.
MARKL: Then, I'd give two points to Pedro's sandwich.
As for three points, I'd give it to Pipoca.
Not bad, the look. The heart was made with hands.
I'd give four points to Sílvia's, even though it's falling apart.
SÍLVIA: - It's gourmet. GABRIELA: - It's on its side.
- It's deconstructed. - Exactly.
The one who put the most effort and some perfection into it was Gilmário.
- To whom I give five points. VASCO: - Very good.
- Five points. MARKL: - Perfection was impossible.
ANA: - You didn't cut the hexagon. - He tried...
- I didn't destroy the pineapple. GABRIELA: - Where's the heart?
From this perspective, me too.
He crushed it and made stars with the tomato.
Exactly. It was all... And I always treated him with respect.
Everyone was a disaster.
The only thing was the sauce with the hands.
Give points to your best friend. Give five points to your best friend.
PEDRO: Here I go to last place. No, I'm still there.
MARKL: Gilmário with 17 points. Then, Pedro with 16.
Gabriela with 15, Sílvia with 14 and Ana with 13.
VASCO: 17, 16, 15, 14, 13. That's very good.
- We're all in the game for the last one. - Everyone's in the game.
PEDRO: - We're all in the game. MARKL: - It's tight.
Next up, we have a task
that we can call a real "blockbuster".
Yes. Enough of tasks confined to small rooms.
No, we've moved to a stadium, for a whirlwind of speed,
but without exaggerating. Calm down.
And above all a whirlwind of "multitasking".
It's another superb team task.
# SOFT INSTRUMENTAL THEME
#
ANA TRAUTEIA
GILMÁRIO SPEAKS ENGLISH: - Let's go! - Where's Markl? He's over there.
- Is this for running? - That sport.
- Welcome. - Why are you in that area?
- Why aren't you on this side? - It's my spot.
"Complete 11 laps without getting out of the golf cart."
"A rule will be added each lap."
"Rule one, the golf cart must always be in motion
and you can't exceed 8 km/h."
"Whenever a rule is broken,
100 seconds will be added to your time."
"The fastest wins."
"The time starts when Markl waves the flag."
I'll hitch a ride. I don't want to drive. Thanks.
I came to be driven. I'm a diva.
- Wait. MARKL: - Ready?
- Are you going to drive? - Is it me? Let's go!
SPEAKS ENGLISH: - And action! - Let's go.
GABRIELA: - Brave! SPEAKS ENGLISH: - Let's go!
- Sexy! MARKL: - I gave it my all.
The task hasn't even started yet. We've only seen them reading the envelope
and I can feel the mental confusion taking over these people.
Yes, even me, and I just had to stand there giving them things.
But yeah, this is a real mess of chaos. They had to do 11 laps.
They had to respect the rules,
some rules being repeated in every lap.
The first one, the cart couldn't stop
and couldn't exceed the speed of 8 km/h.
The other rules,
I think it's better for the viewers to discover them for themselves.
That's what we're going to see next.
SÍLVIA: - You have to be at eight. GILMÁRIO: - I can't pass.
You were doing well.
There's a test coming up. I'll grab it and you read it.
"Exchange all shoes at the beginning of each lap."
I've done worse things with a car in motion.
This is very easy.
- Did you get it? - I got it.
SÍLVIA: "Put a duck in the bathtub each lap." Let's go!
GILMÁRIO: - One duck per lap. SÍLVIA: - Yes. Be careful! You're going to crash.
GILMÁRIO: No. I'm just trying not to mess up.
Swap all the shoes.
Here you go. You do everything, really.
SÍLVIA: "Give Markl a high five and compliment him
every time you pass him." Plural, you and me.
Swap shoes.
Ah, whiting!
- Compliment! - Hottie!
- Is that it, a compliment? SÍLVIA: - It's something like that.
"Honk the horn exactly once per minute."
GILMÁRIO: - Per minute? - "During the remaining laps."
- The duck. BOTH: - Where's the horn?
It's here. HORN HONKS
Take this one off first.
We're arriving.
Look at the high five. Wait! Don't stop!
- Beautiful thing! GILMÁRIO: - Wonderful!
Thank you, Gilmário. Thank you, Sílvia.
This is becoming unsustainable.
"The 'cool' lap. Everyone has to wear sunglasses during this lap."
Nine, ten... HORN
GILMÁRIO: Yes. Duck in place.
SÍLVIA: - Shoe, compliment... - "High five."
- Hair flying, except mine. - I have to let it loose. 'Cool' lap.
- Shoes. - Wait. We're arriving.
- Shoes. Horn. - Wait!
- My cutest thing. - Big boy.
CENSORED SPEECH HORN
"Making an amazing hot dog during this lap."
SÍLVIA: - Markl, do you like ketchup? - Yes.
- And mustard? MARKL: - Yes.
HORN "High five", shoes...
SÍLVIA: - Auntie's sweetie pie. GILMÁRIO: - It's good as corn.
- Auntie's sweetie pie. - Family compliment.
SÍLVIA: "Shout in unison..." Takes off his glasses.
"Shout in unison 'this is so cool'"
once per minute during the remaining laps."
- Duck. - Phoenix.
It's now. HORN
BOTH: This is so cool.
Don't stop.
- Big boy! - Back home...
SÍLVIA: Beast.
"One of you has to have your mouth full of sparkling water
during this lap." HORN
LAUGHTER
Now, we have to shout in unison...
This is so cool.
HORN
- What I would do with one of these. - Beautiful thing!
"Everyone must remain quiet and make as little noise as possible."
SILENCE
HORN
SILENCE
SÍLVIA SPEAKS SOFTLY This is really cool.
It's the last one.
- With two glasses of wine... - Thank you.
"You have to honk the horn 21 times at the end of this challenge."
BOTH: This is really cool!
HORN
- Sweetie. - Handsome!
HORN
(...)
MARKL: - Was that 21? - It's over.
Done. Thank you.
- You didn't eat the hot dog. - No, I'm a vegetarian.
Now, I'm going like this.
There's no mustard because there wasn't any. But I put ketchup and mayonnaise.
SÍLVIA: - Look at the style. - How is it?
Excellent teamwork.
Now that you've seen how hard it is with two, imagine with three.
Was it good working with Gilmário?
Great partner, Gilmário. Thank you.
I think we did our best, but above all I had fun.
Markl, tell me about the results.
The Gilmário and Sílvia team took 27 minutes and 34 seconds.
They broke eight rules
and 800 seconds were added to their total time.
And the total time is 40 minutes and 54 seconds.
VASCO: 40 minutes and 54. Applause.
PEDRO: - It was good. We've done worse. - We only broke eight rules?
As soon as we started seeing images of Gabriela Barros here in the studio,
"but our team was made up of three".
- It complicates things. VASCO: - It might be more difficult.
Will it be easier or harder
to count on the presence of one more person
in a moving salad? GABRIELA: - It's more difficult.
There's nothing like seeing it with your own eyes.
VASCO: - Let's see. SÍLVIA: - It must be fun.
Go now that he's ahead.
- And now, you son of a... - Forward.
- Good thing I have... PEDRO, ANA: - Look at the 8 km/h.
GABRIELA: - Now what? PEDRO: - I have to get out.
GABRIELA: - No one can get out. - Maybe the task is over there.
GABRIELA: We've already lost a lap.
"Exchange all shoes at the beginning of each lap."
- Exchange, how? - From one foot to the other.
All the shoes, what does that mean?
Otherwise, it was swapping the left shoe for the right.
PEDRO: There's another one. Grab it.
Easy with that. Watch the kilometers per hour.
This one's done...
"Put a duck in the bathtub each lap."
PEDRO: No. Is this it? I still have one of my shoes on.
ANA: Wait! I have to put a duck here.
We have to switch shoes again.
It's to switch at the beginning of each lap.
ANA: - Hello. MARKL: - Hi.
"Give Markl a 'high five' and compliment him
every time they pass him." I hate shoes and feet.
Wait a minute! Look at the duck, honey.
Wait a minute! There are two extra shoes here. I don't know whose they are.
- I just took those off. - And are you wearing anything?
- You're not wearing anything? - I have to trade with someone.
- I had those that belong to Gabriela. - Do you want mine?
ANA: - Hottie. GABRIELA: - I'd eat you all up.
- Handsome guy! You know what? - We lost the letter.
PEDRO: You had to find a way to fix the speed.
- Did we swap shoes? ANA: - You think?
PEDRO: If I do this too, it's like having swapped shoes.
ANA: Look, the high five and the card. I'll catch it.
- Give the high five. GABRIELA: - High five.
We only caught two glasses.
"Honk once per minute for the remaining laps."
PEDRO: Look at the duck.
You have to honk once and count to 60. Honk once.
- The shoes. Did someone switch them? - I switched them from one foot to the other.
CENSORED SPEECH I have to look at the watch,
I have to shove my feet...
- Stud. - Give me a baby.
You're beautiful.
Do we all have to wear sunglasses during this ride?
- It was the previous one. PEDRO: - What about the glasses?
We only have one pair.
"Make an amazing hot dog during this ride."
Throw the duck in the tub. HONK
ANA: - Slow down. We're missing the hot dog. PEDRO: - Go slowly.
ANA: Best hot dog ever.
- Here, take the hot dog. GABRIELA: - Gymnast!
PEDRO: - Stark naked except for the glasses. - Gymnast, a catcall?
ANA: "Shouting in unison 'this is so cool'
once a minute for the remaining laps."
- Here, take your shoe. PEDRO: - I'm going to honk.
Now it's "this is so cool". HONK
EVERYONE: This is so cool!
- It's lying there. - It's over there.
See if you can pass in a way that I can catch him.
Straight ahead. Follow!
- You cutie. - You're really handsome.
That grizzled beard drives me crazy.
"One of you has to have your mouth full of fizzy water
during this lap." HORN
ALL: This is so much fun!
PEDRO: Who's drinking the water? Is it you?
- We have to swap shoes. - Again.
- You... PEDRO: - You old fart.
"Everyone must remain still and make as little noise as possible."
Wait. We have to honk first.
Watch out! HONK
ALL: This is so much fun!
SILENCE
(...)
- You're a Greek god. PEDRO: - I love you.
"They have to honk the horn 21 times at the end of this lap."
ALL: This is so much fun!
GABRIELA: We won!
HORN PEDRO: One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen,
fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty.
CHEERING
ANA: - You're so hot. MARKL: - Thanks.
I think we messed up a lot of things.
I think we only started doing the challenges halfway through.
APPLAUSE
Who got full of themselves with so much praise?
- Especially gymnast. - Gymnast.
- Gymnast! - I bet you've never been called that.
- Gymnast, Greek god... - Who knows what you want to hear?
The results are with this boy.
This team completed the course in 17 minutes and 13 seconds.
They missed instructions 14 times,
which added a total of 1400 seconds to the final time.
Let's remember that the other team's time was...
MARKL: 40 minutes and 54 seconds.
VASCO: 40.54 was the other team's time.
And what did this team do?
All added up, the total time, for the Gabriela, Pedro and Pipoca team
is 40 minutes and 33 seconds.
VASCO: They win by a few seconds.
PEDRO: - We won. - I wasn't expecting that.
That's why...
- That's why, Greek god... MARKL: - Yes.
Don't give me a child, but do me a favor.
And what points do you have to give at this point?
Well, Gilmário, two points. Sílvia, two points.
Pipoca, three points. Pedro, three points.
And Gabriela, three points.
VASCO: Put the points on the screen, because this is very balanced.
- Before the final test... MARKL: - So, here's the situation.
Tied with 19 points, Gilmário and Pedro.
Then, Gabriela with 18.
Ana with 16 and Sílvia also with 16.
VASCO: That means only one thing,
whoever wins the final game here in the studio
wins today's "Taskmaster".
Any one of you can be today's program winner.
Congratulations to all five of you. Great show. Applause.
Get those glutes moving. Get on stage.
Let's get to it.
APPLAUSE
(...)
Nuno, who's going to read the instructions for the last challenge
that will decide who wins all of this?
I'm going to hand it over to Sílvia Alberto, our guest.
VASCO: Let's hear it for Sílvia.
APPLAUSE
- Can I open it? - You can, and read it out loud.
There's a knack to opening envelopes. Look at that.
"Tie the ends of the thread to the earpieces of the glasses
and put the glasses on. The fastest one wins."
The combination of the padlock might have something to do with this.
Are you ready? I'll whistle. MARKL WHISTLES
PEDRO: I'm going to try some things here.
VASCO: You can keep trying, of course.
PEDRO: I'm not going to speak loudly, because they might copy me.
Speak up.
VASCO: That's the last thing I need, giving away clues here.
- You don't have clues to give away? VASCO: - Maybe I do.
- What year was Gabriela born? - Why don't you ask her?
PEDRO: What year were you born? Month and year.
- Could that be it? - I don't know, tell me.
- Bye. - I already tried mine, it doesn't work.
- You won't give yours. Tell me yours. - I don't want to.
VASCO: - I'll give you a little help. - There's something inside.
And MCMXCIV.
- MC... - MCM...
- Vasco loves Roman numerals. - MCM... How much is it, guys?
- Say that again. VASCO, MARKL: - No.
- X... - MCM what?
- MCM... VASCO: - 1994...
Right.
- I'm going to keep it where no one can see it. VASCO: - It's not over yet.
MARKL: - You can give more clues. - 498.5 times 4?
GILMÁRIO: - Dude... Fire! - Get a life.
Be quiet. Cheating!
APPLAUSE
(...)
Anyone want to do business with me? Feel free.
Mine won't open. Why won't mine open?
APPLAUSE
MARKL: Vasco, do you still have another clue for Gabriela?
The year of the '94 World Cup.
LAUGHTER
APPLAUSE
What was it? I don't remember anything anymore.
PEDRO: - Pop the balloon now. - And now?
- The balloon bursts. - With the heel.
VASCO: That was weak.
PEDRO: - Fife? VASCO: - Weak.
That's cool. I've already lost. You can end the show.
APPLAUSE
That's cool.
The first to complete the task in an exemplary way...
It was, it's true. Roman numerals are his thing.
VASCO: Five points for Pedro Alves.
That means Pedro wins today's "Taskmaster".
APPLAUSE
Thank you very much. Thank you very much.
MARKL: You can go get your awards.
The awards.
Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you.
VASCO: This means
that Pedro's wife gets her ex-boobs back.
Which is great.
Before we leave, what did we learn today?
You can't miss your own bachelor party,
nor can Marge Simpson, nor a bare-chested Angolan.
Spread the butter with your foot and spread it well on the baguette.
Speak ill of everyone and blow up the internet.
And if a little mouse shows up, to hell with Michelin restaurants.
A chef who's a chef makes sandwiches with fins.
Swapping shoes, catcalling, spinning around, isn't enough.
Shout out loud "this is really cool", because this is "Taskmaster".
See you next week.
# TASKMASTER THEME APPLAUSE
SÍLVIA: We could still win.
Jelly?
- Jelly? - Any doubts?
# (...)
Adaptation and Subtitles RTP - Adapted Content