Andy interrogates an envelope

Having read the task brief, Andy stuffs the golden envelope down his trousers, before removing his cricket box and leaving it on the table.

Andy’s attempt takes place in the lab, where he has set up an interrogation scene involving the envelope. After cracking his knuckles, Andy launches into his line of questioning, yelling “Right, you little paper monstrosity. Where is it, you pathetic little failed origami pigeon? I wouldn't lick you if you were the last envelope on earth. Where is it? Tell me where it is.”

Andy then arrives with two large plastic spring clamps, which have had wires attached to them to make them look like jumper cable clamps. He uses these to ‘electrocute’ his interrogation subject on the table, while screaming “Answer the question!”.

With electricity apparently not having done the job, Andy then puts a piece of paper into a document shredder on the table, stating “Maybe this will make you talk”, then saying “Tell me what you know, or god help me, I will shred you”. This seems to have the intended effect on the envelope, which shakes with fear, before literally opening up to reveal a note within itself.

Andy extracts the note from the envelope, which states “I did it. I stole the life cast of Alex Horne. I shrank it and I hid it in a wooden box under a cow.”

Andy heads outside and finds a wooden box beneath Linda the cow, which he smashes apart with a mallet, before retrieving a miniature statue of Michaelangelo’s David (which, for some reason, has a blue penis). He then addresses the camera directly, stating “Mystery solved. I pushed that envelope good and proper.”

In the studio, Greg describes Andy’s attempt as “very creative” and “genuinely disturbing”. Greg notes that he thinks the show is revealing Andy to be “not the person everyone thought you’d be”, and states that Andy is getting “more and more terrifying” with every episode.

Greg ultimately awards Andy 4 points.

(Written by Karl Craven and proofread by M3 / Andres Sanchez)

(Illustrations collected and adjusted by: David Fuller)