Jack’s auditory rectal exam

Jack begins by saying “With permission, I’ll approach”, but then begins his approach before receiving said permission from Greg, who says “Interestingly, my buttocks did just clench”.

Jack takes up a position to the side of Greg’s throne and tells him to close his eyes. He then puts on a pair of surgical gloves, which he snaps loudly against his wrists before asking “Are you experiencing an anal movement, at all?”. Greg responds that he wasn’t expecting to say such a thing on television, but admits that he genuinely was experiencing such a thing.

Jack follows up with the second part of his presentation, consisting of loudly squeezing lube from a plastic bottle into a small bowl. The third and final part of his presentation takes the form of him operating an electric drill, which prompts Greg to react with a mixture of confusion and horror, before saying “I thought we were just having a bit of fun, but, genuinely, my bum has never been more closed”.

Greg ultimately decides to award Jack joint first place with Emma, so they both earn 5 points.

(Written by Karl Craven and proofread by M3 / Andres Sanchez)

(Illustrations collected and adjusted by: David Fuller)