Tofiga invents the beautiful but populous island nation of ‘Paulinga’

Tofiga starts off by announcing that he’ll include fresh fruit, because his country will be tropical.

Tofiga calls his country “Paulinga”. He sits, surrounded by palm trees, surfboard, and fishing nets, wearing a lei and some sunglasses, greeting the audience with the phrase “Solomo kapachi.”

Noting that Paulinga is the most beautiful place in the world, Tofiga explains that the greeting “Solomo kapachi” means “Hi, how are ya? Let’s hopefully hook up, and then after that, we can chill and watch some rugby league.”

He notes that Paulinga has a population of 500 million, even though it is a small island. He also states that it is summer all year round, which gives people a beautiful “nice chocolate brown” tan, and that the Paulinga people are called “Harrrrabanda”.

Paul joins Tofiga, wearing dark glasses and a lei, as well as a life jacket and armbands, and holding a fishing net. When Tofiga tells him to do his “Harabanda dance”, Paul starts to dance by jumping and kicking his legs. When Tofiga says that what is even better is when they dance and sing at the same time, Paul confirms to the camera that it’s really incredible, and that you will see it if you visit the country.

After encourageing people to visit Paulinga, “the most beautiful country in the world”, Tofiga then sings “Solomo kapachi”, while the camera pans over a platter of mixed fruit and cocktail umbrellas.

In the studio, Chris says “500 million people, on a tiny island. Paradise!”, and Jeremy points out that this would make it the third most populous country in the world after China and India.

Jeremy then tells Paul that his dance was good, and asks him to do it again in the studio. Chris suggests that the dance had originated from the fact that you have to constantly kick people out of your way.

Tofiga earns 4 points.

(Written by JoGo and proofread by Karl Craven)