Concetta invents ‘Phone Slap’

Concetta invents the sport “Phone Slap”, which requires two top hats, placed upside-down on the ground near a bath tub, two old rotary phones, and three balls of wool.

The rules aren’t explained very clearly, and seem to be written specifically so that only Concetta can win, the aim of the game is to first hit the balls of wool into the hats with the receivers of the phones. If someone gets a ball of wool into their hat, they must then say “Hats off to you!”, and then both players must try to throw balls of wool into the bath tub.

The game is only played until someone (Concetta) scores a point.

Tom Cashman and Concetta both start trying to hit balls of wool into the top hats, failing numerous times. Concetta nearly gets one in, but just knocks the hat over.

Tom then succeeds in getting a ball into his hat, and they both start throwing balls of wool at the bath. Concetta gets one in, just as Tom remembers to say the phrase “Hats off to you!”, and Concetta claims that she beat him because her ball landed in the bath tub before he said the phrase. A slow-motion replay shows that it was very close.

In the studio, when Tom Gleeson points out that Tom Cashman hadn’t won, Lesser Tom admits that he forgot to say the phrase and then panicked.

When Tom Gleeson asks Concetta about her character choice (since she’d described the whole game ina fancy English accent), she says “England… They’re a crazy bunch, but they are known for their fancy sports.” She then lists examples such as croquet, cricket, and “horse…” before running out, so Pete adds “…stuff” for her.

Tom Gleeson admits that he had no idea what was going on during her sport, and so he awards Concetta 5 points.

(Written by JoGo and proofread by Karl Craven)

(Illustrations collected by JoGo & Emily G and adjusted by David Fuller)